I would just like to point out that I cannot overstate how instrumental C_Andor_D over on AO3 has been in the creation of this fanfic. The improvements she has made to my work cannot be sufficiently quantified. Her eye for detail and stunningly brilliant way with words are the reason this fic is as readable as it is. If you haven't yet, all of you should go and check out her works. Compromise: In The Case Of Sae Niijima is tied for my favorite Persona fic—the other being Lonely_Supports The Thief Of Light, The Maid Of Shadows. Honestly, check both of them out because I cannot understate how fantastic they both are.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
"Psst!" called a young brute of a man,
"Shhhh!"
"Pssssst! Akari-chan!"
"Kanebara! Quiet!" she hushedly yelled.
"I can't hear anything!"
"Neither can I! Now shut up!"
Both Akari and the large man beside her had been posted against the wall from the moment Ren had sat down, eager to try and glean some more information about their relationship. It was obvious that Sae Niijima was an older woman, but their friend never seemed to imply that the two of them were an official item, rather that he had earned a date with her on his eighteenth birthday, yet he never chose to elaborate as to how he earned said date.
The only thing he ever allowed himself to divulge was that he had met her in Tokyo, and that she was the most stunning woman he had ever met. It was quite romantic… until he repeated it every time she drifted into his thoughts. Both Kanebara and Akari could tell the moment she popped into his head, be it in class, at work, or while they were walking through town.
He'd suddenly stare off into space while a hypnotized smile spread out over his features. One time it happened in the middle of a test and when the teacher went to collect all of their papers, he had thought that Ren was pulling some sort of prank by staring up at him so longingly. It wasn't until the teacher had yelled his name that he snapped out of it, and even then, he sunk right back into his fantasy the moment the teacher walked off.
The two friends had been speculating for so long as to how this Sae Niijima woman would appear to be and so far, she had blown their expectations out of the water. Kanebara had been in the kitchen when the couple had walked in, but he did manage to catch a glimpse of his friend's date as they passed by, and fell in love right then and there.
The two continued their attempt to listen in on their friend's date without being seen; however, unbeknownst to them, both Sae and Ren had noticed them the moment they had settled against the wall's corner and were intentionally speaking quietly so as to not give away any sensitive information regarding Ren's past or the start of their relationship. That being said, the two seemed far enough away that speaking just below a normal volume would seem enough to stop them from eavesdropping.
In truth, the two found it rather entertaining. Ren, because they reminded him of how inept at stealth he used to be when he first became a Phantom Thief, and Sae, because this was one of the few times she had seen Ren smile in such an innocent way.
Throughout her time knowing him, every time he smiled was in the context of his profession as a Phantom Thief. His smile was usually victorious in nature or scheming when talking with the rest of his team. Even when he was released from Juvenile Detention, he didn't show great relief like she had expected, but instead kept his victorious confidence. Looking at him now showed something a bit different in his eyes—a sort of ease and relaxation.
It's like he's actually acting his own age for once…
The only other time she could actually recall anything close to this was after he and the others had defeated the False God on Christmas Eve. Even then his smile at the time was more content, much like she imagined her own after winning a big case and arriving home for some well deserved rest.
Sae felt a sort of relaxed joy from seeing him like this. It was something that she imagined was rare during his time in Tokyo, and she caught herself wondering how much of this smile she'd see in the future.
Despite whispering for the past several minutes, the only subject they had managed to speak of was his two coworkers spying on them and some very covert references to his previous escapades in the Metaverse.
And as happy as she was to continue this topic, there was an important question that she had neglected for a long while. She never wanted to broach the subject over the phone, especially considering all of their conversations were primarily legal check ups so that she knew his school wasn't treating him differently than the other students on account of his record.
But she needed to know. However exceptional he may have been as a Phantom Thief, she refused to date a man with no ambition.
"Mind if I ask you something a bit more serious?"
Ren reached for his glass and nodded.
"Go ahead."
"You're going to be graduating soon. Have you given any significant thought as to what you're going to do? As a profession, I mean."
The moment the question reached his ears, Ren's movements halted. He set down his glass without taking so much as a sip and simply stared down at the table, humming to himself as conflict began swirling in his eyes.
Sae recognized that look. She had seen that same expression in the mirror countless times before she settled on becoming a prosecutor. Doubt. Indecision. An anxiety stemming from making the wrong choice. She never would have guessed that such an expression would touch Ren Amamiya—the man whose confidence never wavered.
She set down her fork and sat back on her chair, arms crossed under her chest.
"Speak your mind. I might be able to help."
Ren looked up at her, a brief feeling of surprise taking over him before remembering who he was dealing with. He smiled, took a breath, and nodded.
"I have a few ideas, none of which are going to be easy—"
"—I'd expect nothing less from someone like you."
"I was thinking that I might try and join the police alongside Makoto. Keep my boots on the ground and help people in need."
Sae didn't bother to hide the concern she felt. When Makoto first told her that she was aiming to be a police commissioner, she didn't react particularly well. All she could see at that moment was the image of police officers coming to her door to inform her that her sister had died just like their father.
Granted, this was sometime after she had learned of Makoto being a Phantom Thief, so it wasn't the biggest shock she had received in her life, but she still didn't like the idea of her sister becoming a cop. The girl's sense of justice was far too strong to stay within her own depth. If given the chance, Makoto would probably manage to arrest an entire Yakuza family.
And have a hit placed on her head the very next day…
The idea that Ren—that her potential boyfriend might also follow that path didn't spark much joy.
And of course, his next choice just had to be ten times worse.
"I wouldn't mind trying to work with Zenkichi in Pub Sec either."
"That's… rather dangerous…" she cautioned.
"I know… That's why I'm thinking about it…"
The way he confessed his reason sounded almost shameful. Not like that of a child when being caught with their hand in the cookie jar, but something darker. The sort of shame found within a monster shaped like a man who knows better.
"I don't follow."
Ren closed his eyes and slowly inhaled through his nose before releasing his breath with a sigh.
With his eyes still closed, he begged the question, "Do you have any idea how difficult it was to go from who I was last year to being a normal person today? How… unfulfilling everything seems to me now?"
"You mean being able to change the hearts of society's villains?"
He let out a brief, breathy laugh at her question, shaking his head once before responding.
"I mean being able to summon forth an aspect of my soul and shoot God in the face," he quietly snapped, unknowingly clenching his fist and cracking his knuckles on the table, his eyes hungering for violence. "I mean feeling like my life was in danger every second that I wandered the metaverse."
Sae nodded her head understandingly, locking her gaze with him. Seeing the intensity of his stare stirred some emotions within her. She felt something that was beginning to approach a semblance of fear. A spark that—though small—held great potential to roar as an inferno.
"You want a fight?"
"I want a threat," he corrected. "I want to feel that same adrenaline I did fighting shadows. I want to fear for my life when things go wrong and itch for something bigger when they go right. I know that there's probably a hell of a lot of desk work, but considering the things I've seen Zenkichi manage, I figure he does plenty of field work too."
"Zenkichi, hmm?"
In spite of Ren's almost hostile glare, Sae kept calm, patiently tapping her nails on the table as she recalled her one meeting with the man. The few bruises on his face reminded her of the interrogation with Ren, though Zenkichi was far less beaten. She could tell then and there that he wasn't going to bend to them.
Be that as it may, Zenkichi's initial motives when getting involved with the thieves were hardly altruistic. If it wasn't for the team's ability to appeal to people's better natures and their leader's charismatic nature…
I should just be glad his heart changed in the end, but still…
"Forgive me, but I'm not sure that Zenkichi is the best role model for you."
The two simply held their gazes, Sae refusing to yield any ground despite the imposing aura around the young man. If he wanted a threat, he'd get one with her.
"We all have our demons. I'm clearly no exception, but Zenkichi worked within a corrupt organization, which begs the question: could you stop yourself from cutting off the head of the snake for even a single instant?"
"Why would I?"
She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"It won't be like before—entering in someone's name to your navigator and changing their heart. You'll need to find evidence that is likely to be well guarded, and the moment they know you're coming after them, they'll gun for you. You'd need to play things smart, which might mean doing what you're told—doing something evil in order to keep your cover."
"Thinking like that is exactly what got Zenkichi to where he was—hating himself and his daughter resenting him."
Sae's combative expression faltered into mourning. "I know. But that's the best option in the real world. You wouldn't simply be able to just march into someone's home or office and place them in cuffs. You won't be able to just accuse a superior of being corrupt and have them placed under arrest. Working as an officer of the law requires that you operate within its bounds. I know that it's wrong and that it allows people to manipulate the system, but that is the grim reality."
Ren's clenched fist only tightened. The frustration of ugly truth gnawing away at him. He was no longer a Phantom Thief, and the system he sought to change was no less mired in corruption than when he first entered the Metaverse.
Then Sae's soft hand rested over his, her smile melting away his frustration—her voice casting away his doubts. "That's why—if Public security is what you choose—you'll have to rely on other people so that you never lose sight of that precious goal of yours."
"'Precious goal'?" he dumbly questioned.
She snickered under her breath and smirked. "A just society, of course."
A handful of words. A handful of words was all it took to shatter the mounting tension with Ren Amamiya.
His eyes lost all intensity and were replaced instead by shock, swiftly followed by innocent laughter so quiet that she hardly heard it to begin with. He bobbed his head up and down in agreement.
"Right. I want to live in a world where justice is upheld and where the guilty answer for their crimes. But it's hard going from the Metaverse to reality. Being a Phantom Thief is all I've ever really known."
Some words caught in his throat, then he chuckled bittersweetly and freed them.
"That's probably why I really envy all of my friends."
That was certainly the last thing she expected to hear from him. Respect and care for his friends, to be sure, but envy?
How curious…
"Coming from you, envy is a strong word. Could you explain what you mean?"
"Believe it or not, I wasn't an exciting person before I got sent to Tokyo. I didn't really do anything outside of school, and I wasn't even the best student. But everyone back home?"
He let out a breath of laughter and very slightly shook his head.
"Ann is a model, Ryuji is runner, Yusuke is an artist, Makoto is an honor student with aspirations of becoming a police commissioner, Futaba is an expert hacker that probably has a backdoor into the American Pentagon, and Haru is trying to become a CEO and open up her own café."
"And what about you?"
"That's exactly my problem. I don't have a passion that I can follow. I want to see justice done, but…"
Ren let out a low grunt and clenched his fists while looking away from Sae, sagging his head between his arms.
"You want it to be as a Phantom Thief, not as an officer."
He silently nodded his head.
"The others had passions before they ever even thought to become Phantom Thieves—I didn't. And being an officer seems like the closest I'll ever get to feeling like I did in the Metaverse."
Ren expected some kind of response from Sae, but heard nothing. He looked up to see her smiling at him like some sort of delectable meal, a certain look in her eye that he couldn't place.
"What?" he questioned.
Her predatory gaze lingered for a moment, just a moment longer than was comfortable, before she dismissed it with a disarming smile.
"Don't worry about it for now. Is there anything else you've considered?"
Ren eyed her suspiciously, not being comforted in the slightest by her avoiding the question. Something told him, though, that he wouldn't be able to squeeze an answer out of her for the moment.
Disliking the fact that he couldn't figure out the expression that Sae had just been wearing, he begrudgingly continued, taking a moment to recall his options.
"Yoshida," he said. "I was thinking of working for Yoshida as a political aide. If I do that, I might even manage to join the Diet one day and make a real changes in the country"
Sae's smile only grew wider. Of all the careers he could have chosen, 'politician' wasn't one she was expecting. "Now that's rather ambitious. I could honestly see you pulling that off," she said with a small chuckle.
As he began to reply, a curious look in her eye stalled him.
"Then again, politics is hardly known for its unblemished virtue- surely you of all people are aware of that. Do you think such a system is adequately reformed to allow you to speak the truth? Do you think the masses want to hear the reality you fight for? Or that they'd even believe you?"
For a moment, the lawyer reminded him of a similar question he had received once in the Velvet room.
"Maybe, maybe not," he shrugged. "I don't think I'd have the patience though to not call out other members for being corrupt though. I doubt I'd be all that popular among the diet, let alone among constituents, but I wouldn't do it to be liked, I'd do it for the good of society. That being said, I'd have to worry about word getting out about what I was up to last year. I doubt that's a secret that wouldn't get out."
Despite Ren's blasé way of speaking, Sae could tell he was seriously considering the option of a political career—far more so than law enforcement if her instincts were right. She figured the casual, almost apathetic approach to the idea was more about guarding his low expectations of success.
I suppose I can't blame him. Politics is hardly an easy environment to thrive in, but if anyone could do it, it's him,
"Perhaps," she cleared her throat. "But at least you're thinking ahead and realizing potential problems before they come up. That's a good trait for just about anyone to possess, let alone a politician."
"It's not hard considering all we did last year and this summer. Zenkichi wasn't the only one briefed on us all, so we know my identity isn't a secret to those in Pub Sec—or at least not highly classified. All it takes is for me to say one wrong thing and then my identity gets leaked."
"Perhaps, but it could always work out in your favor. It's not as if the Phantom Thieves aren't popular."
"Yeah, but I doubt the people would want one as a politician." Ren scoffed and shook his head with a dismissive smirk. "Stupid idea anyway…"
Sae simply ignored the comment and waited to see if there was anything else he planned to add. The way he spoke disappointed her. To think that he transformed from a young man with boundless confidence to a meek boy who doubted the possibility of his ambitions… It was tragic.
She cleared her throat. "Of all people, you'd be the last person I'd expect to be so indecisive. I'd say you know precisely what you want—but you're too concerned that you won't be able to achieve that goal—too concerned with failing."
Ren simply hummed stalely and indifferently—staring a hole through the table as he guided himself through his thoughts.
Sae expected him to react to the provocation. It was hardly an attack, but she still expected some sort of response—an engagement.
She focused in on his thoughtful expression, noticing a twinge of guilt over his features. She was missing something, but what?
"It seems like there's something else," Sae bluntly stated, her words striking him with the heavy weight of her unasked question—'what is it'?
Ren's demeanor became very uncomfortable very quickly—his eyes avoiding hers, his head dangling between slumped shoulders, his index finger quickly tapping against their table before suddenly curling into a fist.
"I…I want to be like… him…"
"'Him'?" she questioned.
The former Phantom Thief reached into his pocket and handed her a small, black garment—a right glove that looked eerily familiar to her.
Her expression fell the very moment she recognized its origin, flashes of the second Detective Prince filling her mind. She remembered the day he died—how absolutely broken Makoto had been upon returning home.
It had taken so long for the girl to say what had happened that Sae feared the death of the whole team. She was ashamed to admit it, but the relief she felt after finally learning that Akechi was the one who had been lost was immeasurable—not only because it meant that the rest of the team was fine, but because there was a part of her that felt it was deserved.
She believed in the Phantom Thieves—in their justice, their methods, their members, but she wasn't so naive that she didn't recognize the justice in someone losing their life.
But even with that in mind, seeing the glove shook her with grief.
Hesitantly, she took the glove from Ren's open hand, gingerly holding it against her chest.
After everything he had done—all the murders and mental shutdowns—she shuddered at the knowledge that there was a part of her that mourned the young detective. Such potential wasted because of vengeance and greed.
Sae returned the glove, the conversation swiftly falling into silence as the two reminisced about their time with Goro Akechi. Sae could see in Ren's eyes how much he regretted the loss of the Detective Prince—how much his whole team regretted it.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure it must have been difficult for you."
He simply grunted.
"You said you want to be like him. You mean a detective?"
"A private detective," he corrected.
"A private detective, hmm?"
"I'm my own boss. I'm not restricted by the rules of the police and I can still achieve real good for people."
"Possibly, but… Well, have you ever even heard of someone going to a private detective for help? I imagine that most of the time, they're going because they think their spouse is cheating, not because a villain is cackling from his tower."
"..."
Ren's features twisted from melancholy to a sort of irritation—not at her, but…
"I know that, but I…"
"…You want to keep that part of him alive."
He nodded.
The former prosecutor sighed and rested a hand against her cheek. "I know the feeling… When my father died, I—"
"—I know."
She jumped at his quiet interruption, not because she hadn't expected him to speak, but because she hadn't expected him to say that he knew.
Then again, of course he knew. The very 'treasure' that had begun her downward spiral had been her father's police notebook—so Makoto had told her, at least.
In fact, if the truth of the Phantom Thieves was to be believed, that means the boy—the man—sitting across from her probably knew her far more intimately than appearances would suggest. In any other circumstance, that would have been an immediate red flag, a cause for alarm—but that wasn't how she found herself reacting.
No, it was… intriguing. She found herself curious to see if she could discover as much of him as he knew of her. Curious, too, as to his thoughts on those hidden parts of herself.
What would happen if I just… gave myself over for a night? What would I see of Ren Amamiya? What secrets would I uncover about him? What edge would I gain?
All these thoughts passed like a bullet train through the stations of her mind, gone in a flash but leaving her starkly aware of his eyes on her, intense and probing. She offered a bashful chuckle, her cheeks becoming dusted with red.
"Right… It's probably fair to say you probably know me better than I know myself."
"Only the darker parts. I'm still working on piecing the rest together."
"In my experience, the dark parts are what drive people away."
In a split second, Ren passed the baton to Joker. The Phantom Thief wore a suave, ungentlemanly smile that managed to break Sae's defenses the moment she saw it. "It's a good thing that thieves are drawn to the dark then, isn't it?"
Sae's blush only deepened, her embarrassment beginning to mount. "Stop…" she said with a hesitant whisper and a not-so-hidden smile.
"But for the record," he said, leaning in, his dashing smile falling into understanding. "That darkness has gotten a lot brighter. And it doesn't take the Metaverse for me to know that."
"That's kind of you to say. I've certainly been trying to make things right."
"You have, believe me. After all, I met your shadow. I know how deep that darkness goes."
"That's what every girl yearns to hear—that her boyfriend knows every little secret she possesses."
She masked her insecurity with a faint chuckle and a drink from her glass. If she was lucky, she could excuse the blush by saying she was beginning to get drunk.
At least that was the plan before Ren caused her whole face to burn with a single word and a sly smile.
"Boyfriend?"
Sae set down her glass and covered her face with a single hand, crossing her other across her chest. "Oh, God…"
She could hear him snicker from across the table before his warm, calloused fingers gently pulled her hand away from her face. The wily grin that he once wore had been replaced by a more kind and understanding one.
"For what it's worth," he whispered. "I think your father would be proud of you."
Sae pulled his hand closer to her and planted a small kiss over it before allowing him to take it back. "Thank you, but… I can't imagine he'd approve of this date."
Ren nodded, a thoughtful expression over his previously sorrowful gaze. "You think it might have something to do with the fact that we scheduled it before I even turned eighteen?"
"It's absolutely because we scheduled it before you even turned eighteen. Something tells me he wouldn't have been thrilled to learn about what happened at Leblanc either."
"Him…" Ren's face stooped into despair. "Or Makoto… God she's going to kill me…"
"You? It's me she's going to kill! You're her friend!"
"And you're her sister."
"Exactly! She's never going to be comfortable with me dating her friend. And former boss."
"I mean, I wouldn't exactly say I was her boss—"
"—Trust me when I say that I have much more to be worried about than you do."
Both the thief and the lawyer looked at each other, a contract forming between them that was certain to remain unbroken.
"You're thinking what I'm thinking, right?"
She nodded once, her glare becoming reminiscent of the one she held in the interrogation room they had met in. "We don't tell anyone until this gets serious."
"Yeah," he nodded. "But how serious is 'serious'?"
"In truth," she began with a sigh. "I don't know."
"Maybe… After we continue what happened in Leblanc?"
"If we continue it," he hastily added.
Sae looked at him with a lingering worry—something he couldn't identify—clearly eating at her. Perhaps the secrecy from her sister, or even still, his age. It wouldn't surprise him if she was put off from the idea of such… intimacy with someone who only just became an adult.
But despite that worry, she still nodded. "I suppose that'd be as good a time as any…"
Despite their conversation seeming to have become a rollercoaster of topics,—the beginnings of which were hardly pleasant—the two couldn't help but enjoy it all. It wasn't long before Ren was telling Sae about his return to his hometown.
His parents were absolutely floored when they saw him waking up early in the morning to go on a run around the neighborhood, only to return home and cook breakfast for all of them—though they were more surprised at how good the curry he had served them was.
Ren had also enjoyed utilizing his stealth abilities to sneak into different rooms around the house without his parents knowing. It was funny until he snuck his way into the kitchen right as his mother and father began showing each other a level of love that he never needed to see his parents show each other.
Sae even traded some of the stories of her college years. If she was to be believed, at least two students proposed to her upon their graduation. She also mentioned the same thing happening at her high school graduation, allowing Ren to fully grasp just how lucky he was to be here with her today.
He took a mental note to go to the shrine the next day to thank whatever god allowed him such good fortune.
Having been gifted a taste of Sae's past as she recalled it, he couldn't help but ask more. Her youth and education had been legendary both at Shujin and in Makoto's stories- university degrees before finishing high school, the youngest in years to pass the bar. He knew that one way or another, his path would reflect her own. His life had become far too active for him to sit still anymore, even if it was well earned.
And so she told him of all her sleepless nights, searching through file after file to ensure that she didn't lose any cases, scouring through federal and local law books to ensure that she didn't leave any stone unturned.
Hearing her speak led Ren to believe that Sae Niijima herself was a supernatural being. She apparently had spent multiple days reading through case files and contracts to ensure her success, only ever relying on coffee and an occasional five minute nap to sustain her in such periods.
If she was to be believed, he couldn't have imagined just how incredible of an addition she would have been to the Phantom Thieves during their heyday.
"I wonder what her persona would be… No, wait… her metaverse outfit…"
"You know," Ren began. "All this talk of how hard you work makes me want to ask a very important question."
"Oh?"
"If you run yourself that ragged, what on earth do you do to relax?"
Sae smiled and shrugged.
"Usually, after days like that, I sleep as long as I can."
"And on normal days? You know, when you don't spend upwards of forty-eight hours working?"
Sae laughed and thought for a moment, but shrugged.
"Honestly, I just stay at home doing as little as possible. Usually, I'll pick up a book and put on very quiet and very slow music."
"Really? No TV or anything like that? Just reading."
She scoffed and shook her head, resting her arms on the table as she leaned forward.
"All day long, I'm dealing with loud mouths and braggadocious fools who think they know how to do my job better than I do—and that goes double now that I'm a defense attorney. Even if they're innocent, that doesn't mean they're good people. The last thing I want is to bother getting into or keeping up with some TV show with characters that remind me of my clients and coworkers."
"I guess that's fair, but how about treating yourself?"
"Treating myself?"
"Yeah," he shrugged. "What do you do when you really need to unwind? Or after you do something really impressive. You've gotta do something more than sit at home with a book, right?"
Sae took in a breath and thought back to the last time she did anything resembling what he described, and smiled warmly once she found what she was looking for.
"Actually, I think I've got something. I haven't done it in probably over a year though, but the first time I won a really big case, I went to the opera."
"The opera?"
Ren couldn't help but wonder if he had misheard her.
"Those still exist?"
"Of course they exist," she giggled. "And they're absolutely beautiful. The way their songs manage to reach you is nothing short of exquisite. My favorite ones to attend are those put on by foreign groups. Something about listening to them sing in a different language… It's like they reach you in a way you never thought possible…"
"Then I guess I know where to take you on our next date."
"Oh? What makes you so confident that you're going to get a second one?"
"You did call me your boyfriend earlier, so…"
Again that blush dusted Sae's stunning features, but she didn't hide from him. Instead, the ghost of a smirk appeared in the corner of her mouth as she stared him down. "A slip of the tongue, nothing more."
"A Freudian slip, maybe".
She didn't even blink. "You can prove nothing."
From there, it wasn't long before the two finished their dinner. Ren offered to get her one of the deserts he had made, but she turned down the offer rather quickly.
"I think it's best we let your coworkers close up for right now," she said.
For a moment, Ren sensed a sort of urgency in her voice. It was faint, but it was there. Had he messed something up? Missed something important? She was still smiling, even as he questioned himself, but he still felt something was amiss.
Regardless, he followed her lead, wishing his friends a good night and exiting the restaurant as they began cleaning up. The sky was burning orange, the sun nearly below the horizon. Sae, though captivated by its beauty, didn't allow it to slow her down. By the time Ren had turned back to the car, she was already opening the door.
She seemed interested in the second date, so why does it feel like she wants to get out of here?
Ren shook the thoughts from his head, allowing himself to be content with the date he managed to have with her. If the two didn't have a second one, then he'd just have to make peace with that.
He entered the car and drove her in a potent silence, his thoughts growing so loud that he feared she'd hear them. He was thankful for how short of a trip it was from the restaurant to the hotel.
As soon as he parked the car, Sae opened the door and exited the vehicle, calmly telling him to follow her just before she closed the door.
And those words were all he needed to hear for any lost confidence to be restored. The swiftness with which he exited the car and joined Sae at her side was beyond measure.
And he found himself with a new worry. Before, he was worried his thoughts would grow so loud that she'd hear them, and now, he worried his heart would beat too loud for him to even hear his own thoughts.
Without any words, they walked from the lobby, into the elevator, and then finally, the door to her room. As she pressed the keycard to the door and unlocked it, she turned to Ren and said, "I need to ask you something."
He wet his dry throat and answered with as deep a voice as he could muster. "Y-yes?"
"Have you ever… been… with someone?"
"...N-no…"
"I see…" she responded dispassionately. "Wait here."
And before he could get a word out, she entered the room and closed the door behind her, leaving Ren alone in the hallway, his heart refusing to lull, his thoughts running unleashed about what was about to happen, his body twitching with anticipation until—
click
—the door opened only enough for Sae's voice to get through. "Close your eyes, and come in."
Ren did as he was told, blinding himself and slowly walking through the door, fighting every single fiber of his being to open his eyes.
As he crossed the threshold, he could feel Sae's lithe fingers take hold of his arm and pull him further into the room before shutting the door.
From behind him, he could feel the mounds of her modest breasts press against his back, her arms wrapping around his frame and her fingers hooking his unbuttoned blazer.
"You should take this off for now," she whispered, her voice tickling his ear and stealing away his breath.
He allowed her to do as she would, listening as his jacket fell to the ground at his side. Sae walked around him, her hand gliding across the smooth material of his button-up until she was directly in front of him.
Taking hold of his hands, she guided him further into the room until telling him to stop and turn around.
Once again, he did as he was told, waiting with a dry mouth and a weak heart for what she would next ask of him.
And instead of a request, all he felt was her slender hands push hard on his chest. He nearly opened his eyes from the surprise, but kept them closed long enough for him to land on the soft padding of a mattress.
It was at that moment that the reality of the situation was truly beginning to sink in. He could no longer breathe sufficiently through his nose, instead needing to take deep, shaking breaths from his mouth.
A weight suddenly fell on his lap—Sae's weight.
Thank you, God. Thank you so much.
She straddled him, her hands draped over his shoulders before slowly making their way up to the sides of his face. She pulled him in, her moist lips meeting his dry ones and sending his heart racing even faster.
"Before this goes any further, I want to tell you a few things."
He attempted to ask what she wished to say, but all he could manage was the stuttering movement of his mouth.
Sae halted the movement with a chaste kiss, keeping her face directly in front of his as she spoke. "First: if I do something you don't like, tell me. The last thing I want is for you to regret what happens here tonight."
Through his nervousness, he managed an incredulous laugh. "Re-regret?"
"Quiet," she said, placing a finger over his lips. "Second: if I tell you to stop something, you stop. Understood?"
He nodded his head, his nerves beginning to short-circuit enough to cause a small twitch in his movements.
"Third—"
—Sae rested her lips right next to his ear, whispering the most enchanting words he had ever heard. "Open your eyes."