a/n: Track 6: Midnight Rain

Just like Glee did, I put then together to tear them apart. I'm sorry! I rarely canon-adjacent past season 3, but here we are. That's the design of this fic.Also didn't originally intend to dedicate so much time to Karofsky in this chapter but inspiration struck. Sad chapter is sad.

Chapter 7: Midnight Rain

I guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted

After a beautiful Valentine's night spent showing Brittany how much she loved her in a way she'd never taken the time to before, school was back again. But things were better- they had a competent Spanish teacher, they were going to CRUSH the Warblers at Regionals, Blaine was back and seeing clearly through both eyes, and things really were seeming brighter in the world. Not only were the Troubletones getting their promised song, but Santana was given the opportunity to rap in their mash-up number, a talented she'd kept relatively quiet most of the time. She found it much easier in Spanish, but she knew she could definitely spit a few bars in English with a touch of practice. Everything was aligning for the better, Regionals was even looking for inspiration as an underlying theme. She thought that nothing could possibly darken her mood, she was riding a high too bright to be dimmed. If only she'd remembered she was one of the lucky ones.

The news was a shock to everyone, and it hit hardest for Kurt, but Santana wasn't far off. She'd promised to stay in contact with Karofsky when he switched schools. Kurt was safe, and she'd befriended him when they'd pretended to date the past year. Between her own outing and the usual drama of high school, she'd not kept up her end of the promise. Karofsky had reached out to her when he saw the commercial. That was the last contact she'd had. Had she even just checked his Facebook, knew what happened on Valentine's with Kurt, anything, maybe she could've been there. And Kurt wasn't the only one with a dozen or so missed calls. Santana had some too. And a message she couldn't bear to open. She was glad everyone was worried about Dave first and foremost, but it felt to her like everyone had reached out to Kurt and no one had reached out to her. It was as if no one remembered that, one, she'd just barely survived a public outing, and two, that she'd once dated Karofsky, fake or otherwise, was their friendship not obvious? Did no one recognize it? Certainly no one knew that she was blaming herself, no one except Brittany. She'd spent all day after they'd gotten the news with her face buried in Brittany's shoulder. Bullying had almost killed someone she loved. Platonically, albeit, she did love Karofsky. He was her friend, and he'd been there for her. She hadn't been there for him. No one had. Not even his family. When she finally dried her tears and got a chance to confront Sebastian, that small amount of recognition Kurt gave her was enough to calm her momentarily. She still wished she'd been invited to the delivery team though.

Later, when they were sitting in a circle with Mr.Schue in the auditorium and he told his story about his consideration, Santana knew what her one thing was. There were two, actually. One was what Finn had preyed on; Brittany not loving her; the other was her parents disowning her the way her Abuela had. It had already been hard enough to deal with her grandmother's rejection. And so when her turn came along, it wasn't hard for her to say probably the most serious statement of all- looking forward to her grandmother loving her again. She had to believe it would happen.

After they won Regionals, Santana's mood improved considerably, but there was one more thing she had to do. Kurt hadn't visited Karofsky yet, and neither had she. They had Finn and Rachel's wedding soon, but the two of them would have enough time to stop by and say what they needed to. She let Kurt go first. It seemed to her that whatever he said would be a lot more happy. She wasn't sure hers would be. When Kurt finished she went in.

"Santana?" he said "You came to visit me?"

"Of course. I mean…Dave I'm sorry. That I wasn't there for you. That we lost contact. It's my fault. I know that." Santana shakes her head as she takes a seat "And I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

"I understand. Seeing me must be difficult for you, I mean, if the potions were switched I'd imagine the image that comes to mind is yourself in this hospital bed." Karofsky admits.

"Since when did you become so insightful?" Santana laughs softly, but it feels wrong in that environment. She knows why. A brush with death. "I just wanted to extend the offer to talk again. I mean it this time. We're going to be headed to college soon, or wherever life takes us, and I think once we're out of Lima, that's one tether I don't want to cut."

"Santana, I never stopped talking to you. You're the last person I messaged before…have you read it?" he asks and Santana turns her phone over in her hands "I've been trying to get myself to." she says shakily "Should I?"

"Yeah. Right now. Aloud, if you can…" he requests. Santana nods and opens the unread message and after a sharp intake of breath reads.

DK: Santana, I don't think I can be as strong as you. I was outed today. Maybe you saw the Facebook posts. You were so strong, but you have Brittany. And your friends. I don't have anyone. Except maybe you. Kurt won't answer my phone calls. I was even rejected at a club. My parents won't understand. Please, help me. I need a friend. You promised. If you don't get this, I'm sorry. I wish you the best in life

Dave Karofsky

Shit. That was hard to read. She wipes at her tears, watching Dave do the same. It was her fault, wasn't it?

"It wasn't your fault" Dave insists "I was wrong to even insinuate that. I'm so glad I lived, because you shouldn't have to live with that guilt. It's no one's fault but my own, and most certainly not yours. Maybe the people who bullied me but not you."

"Thank you Dave. For everything. I promise, though, for real this time, I'll be in touch. Kurt and I have to go. Rachel and Finn are getting married." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Give them my congratulations. Say hi to everyone." Karofsky requests.

"Of course. Be well Dave." Santana leaves and her and Kurt quickly head to the chapel. The only other person still not there is Quinn. Rachel is freaking out, but Santana is just hoping this means her and Finn delay their crazy decision. How their parents are letting this happen is insane. She watched Rachel pace back and forth for so long she got dizzy. Quinn is never late. Admittedly, Santana is even a bit worried. But then the world stops again. And they're headed back to the hospital. And this time things seem a lot worse.

Chasing that fame

It's hard to see her best friend struggling. It's even harder to leave her behind on senior ditch day. Still, Quinn is being positive, and so as much as Santana wants to curse God for the millionth time in the past few months, she doesn't out of respect for Quinn. Besides, Quinn's future at Yale doesn't rest on her ability to walk. Santana's future, however, is up in the air. Mr.Schue and Coach Sue try to help her figure it out. Mr.Schue has her sing about, and he interprets her quest for fame as love for Brittany and a fight for equality. Okay, admittedly, that didn't sound half bad. But Louisville and cheering for the Cardinals sounded better. And she couldn't thank Brittany enough for that idea, which was far better than her ridiculous ways to get Santana famous. Absolutely not. Still, Mr.Schue had planted a little seed in her head. Maybe her future wasn't to be famous for singing but for something much greater. What confused her though was why no one was worried about Brittany.

Another hit to her good mood had come when Whitney Houston passed away. Finally, Mr.Schue gave them a chance to say goodbye, and that damper on her mood was resolved by dancing with Brittany, the way she loved to, and singing a duet with Rachel dedicated to their soulmates. After that, it was just a short way to Nationals, and she knew Rachel and Finn wouldn't be ruining things this time. Still, Quinn recovered just in time to dance, Mercedes sang through a Mucinex miracle and it had been a close race to clench the win. But they did. However, her world came crashing down when Brittany revealed she wasn't going to graduate. She was repeating senior year. No one had taken the time to assure Brittany would graduate. They took care of Puck. They secured her a scholarship. Rachel was accepted into NYADA last minute. Everyone else had been helped except Brittany. She should've realized. But Louisville wasn't that far, was it? And they had all summer. They would be fine. They could do this.

A slow-motion love-potion

Santana was determined to make the most of their summer to ensure that their relationship was strong enough to endure the distance. To last the year apart. Firstly, she made sure that neither of then booked any vacations with their families that would separate them for even a second. This was their time to be together before the world tore them apart. They took day trips to the zoo and to Six Flags and spent other days just lounging in bed together, and being intimate. Every single touch she committed to memory, every kiss, every breathless moan of her name, every sleepy I love you, Santana wouldn't forget it. She'd hold onto those things to survive the distance. Not even a million miles could cut the tether that tied them together. They were soulmates. They both knew it. And they both believed there was nothing stronger than their love. The unfortunate thing about spending every second together than summer, something neither of them ever considered, was that it would make the time and distance seem so much worse. They'd grown accustomed to waking up beside each other, to Brittany going on a run and returning with coffee. Brittany was used to listening to Santana sing in the shower, or sing as she washed dishes. Silence would soon fill those spaces. Santana was used to watching Brittany dance as she did the laundry, that would be gone. The little things of spending life together would exacerbate the pain of separation. But they couldn't see past the rose colored lenses making their summer together so gorgeous. So perfect.

I broke her heart cause she was nice

Summer went great, just as Santana expected, but when it came time to move into her dorm at Louisville she could already feel that things were going to be really difficult. Her and Brittany hadn't been this far apart since they met at Cheerios camp. Not for more than a week or two. Never with an end so far out of reach. College kept her busy, and Brittany was actually trying to graduate so she couldn't skip class. They barely had time for each other. Santana was going to go visit. And she'd come bearing bad news. However, Brittany didn't want their relationship to end. She wanted to take it to another level, solidify their commitment. She'd drop out of high-school if she had to, get her GED, she'd do anything to stay with Santana. She didn't understand much in the world, but she understood Santana.

Santana wanted to meet her in the choir room. This was the perfect opportunity. This is where they fell in love, just like Santana was saying.

"Wait" Brittany said "Before you sing, I need to ask you something."

"Britt, maybe you should ask after…" Santana said.

"No, I want to do this now. Like I told you last night, when you left me behind, it hurt. But I understand why you did. And I realized I'm only left behind if I don't follow you. I'm not very good with words, so I'm just going to say it" Brittany got down on one knee and pulled out a very simple silver band "I couldn't afford much on short notice but, Santana Lopez, will you marry me?"

"Britt…oh honey, I" Santana didn't know what to say "Brittany you can't drop out of high-school to follow me."

"Sure I can." Brittany said.

"You shouldn't, and your parents wouldn't let you. And where would you stay in Louisville…Brittany you have to stay in school." Santana insisted.

"Well, then maybe you can come back to Lima. Just for a year." Brittany said "Aren't you going to say yes?"

"I think you should hear my song…" Santana says softly.

"You're…" Brittany sniffled.

"Let me sing to you. In case it's the last time." Santana pleaded and Brittany nodded. Santana sang Mine, but Brittany still didn't understand, so she went on to explain. Santana tried to say it wasn't an official breakup, but they both knew it was. After Santana left and she had dried her tears, Brittany threw the ring in the trash. She didn't want even the money back as a reminder of how opposite things had just gone. Santana saw her do it though, and retrieved the ring. One day, altered, this ring would go on Brittany's finger. She just knew it. This was the ring she would propose with. The breakup wasn't official because Santana would never stop loving her.

She wanted a bride

I was making my own name