Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia: Axis Powers or Black Mirror. All rights go to their creators.
Chapter 3: Pen Pal
Lovino obsessed over Arthur's face more times than he would have cared to admit. He felt like he would not have cared at all if he was a real person. But considering he'd only ever see him in still photographs it had him curious.
He wanted to see what his different facial expressions would look like; did he furrow his eyebrows when he was upset? Bite his lip when he was concentrating?
What did he look like when he smiled?
Like Lovino, he found comfort in frowning, because smiling was for optimistic idiotas.
Lovino didn't want to ask for more pictures because that would have made him seem desperate. And at the end of the day, attractive or not, Arthur was still an asshole.
It was New Year's Eve, the time to reflect and make resolutions he wasn't going to follow. Eight months until he moved out of his apartment, and he and Feliciano went their separate ways. Lovino didn't know if he was going to stay in New York City or go somewhere else.
Gilbert and Ludwig were having a party at their penthouse later tonight. It was like some kind annual office gathering, and it was their turn to host. Lovino would rather stay home, not sure if he'd be up to seeing Francis and Antonio.
Lovino actually hadn't thought about Antonio all that much in the two months since he'd confessed. He wasn't exactly upset with him, he hadn't let him down in an assholeish way or anything, but he still wasn't ready to face them yet.
L: Hey bastard I might go to a New Years Eve party later tonight so don't wait up.
A: You're actually going outside to socialize with other human beings! The world must be ending, is it 2099 already?
L: Shut up! I might not actually go because Antonio and Francis will be there.
A: Hmm yeah, you can't really say you've done anything of note since then except cry, and talk to a virtual bot.
L: I thought you insisted that you were a human!
A: Well not to them. They're not going to believe you even if you explain it, just like you didn't believe me.
L: You're not helping!
A: When have I ever?
Lovino sent four angry emojis to him. This fucking smart ass bastard.
A: I think you should go. If you're lucky you might get smashed enough to not care and wake up in bed with a man you're sure you've never met before. Or you'll spend the entire night passed out because you've had too much to drink.
A: I've done both.
L: I don't believe you got invited to parties.
A: Piss off. I got invited to a few social gatherings back when I was at University. I admit that I wasn't exactly the life of the party, but I participated in a few drinking contests.
L: What did you study, philosophy?
A: No. English Literature.
L: That sounds boring too. You planning to write a book?
A: No. I scrapped that plan and decided to become a rock star instead.
L: You're fucking with me, right?
A: God, you make it sound like it's something embarrassing! I had hopes and dreams of moving to this stupid country and making it big as a singer. What's wrong with that?
L: I can't imagine you sounding any good. And even if you did, there's no way I would be able to hear it. Did you upload some songs onto HetaTube?
A: Not beforehand. But I'm sure someone uploaded something they recorded. I played for change a few times in Times Square.
L: Well I'll look it up tomorrow maybe or if I get bored at the party.
A: Try not to embarrass yourself. Start by pretending you're someone interesting and actually worth talking to.
Lovino rolled his eyes and closed the app for now.
000000
Lovino nursed a cup of cranberry mixed vodka for the majority of the night, knowing full well that he would be going home alone. Feliciano snuck off with Ludwig at some point during the night to have sex probably, and that would be the last time he would see him until tomorrow. Lovino found a nice spot on the rooftop balcony away from the commotion on the main floor where Gilbert was screaming his heart out to some kind of karaoke song in German. The energy was high as almost everyone was drunk off their asses and it wasn't even midnight yet.
The stars were out, and the cityscape was aglow with lights. Lovino managed to avoid Francis and Antonio, although they were probably too focused on each other to notice.
"It is nice to be away from the noise, isn't it?" Lovino turned to see a short man with brown eyes, raven colored hair in a bowl cut, presumably of East Asian descent, a short distance away. He was wearing a white button up, black pants and a tie.
"Yeah, they're all being idiotas anyway. I'm only here because of mi fratello. He's close with the hosts."
"Are you Feliciano's brother, Lovino Vargas?"
"Yeah and just who the hell are you?"
"Kon'nichiwa. My name is Kiku Honda, the developer of the Iggy Two app. Feliciano and I are close through his contact with Mister Ludwig Beilschimidt."
Lovino blinked. "You are just the man I've been wanting to talk to."
"Gomen'nasai, I'll to have to decline taking a photo." The man shakes his head.
"No, no I have a question about my app. It malfunctioned."
"Did you update to the latest version? This update fixed the common bug people have been having where their Iggy types their messages backwards."
"It's not that. My Iggy says he's some guy named Arthur Kirkland. Is it possible that his code got scrambled or something?" Lovino took out his phone to scroll to the pictures Arthur sent him. "He apparently has a face and hands and can change the space he's in. Would that be something you'd want to look into?" He showed Kiku the pictures, the man stared at him, emotion unreadable as Lovino explained the situation.
Maybe Arthur's an anomaly and he would want to give me money for the software.
"You should delete your app and reinstall it. That should revert your Iggy to its normal state."
"But I'll have to start over. I'd lose my progress."
"A malfunctioning app is just going to mess up your phone over time."
"I just want to know why this sort of thing happened. Are you sure you don't want to study it to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else?"
"Mister Vargas, deleting and reinstalling the app will fix the malfunction." His tone was sharp.
Lovino frowned, "Alright. I'll delete it like you said."
"It's best not to overthink these types of things." He nodded.
Lovino felt uncomfortable and excused himself to go back inside. He stepped into the elevator that smelled of vomit and pushed the ground level button.
Lovino wasn't going to delete Arthur, but he was a little bummed he wasn't going to be getting any money for having the only non Iggy probably in existence. Aren't tech people always looking for ways to improve or innovate or some shit? Having a little person in your phone would be miles ahead of chat bots, people would pay shit loads of money for that.
The elevator stopped on Gilbert and Ludwig's floor; someone was going to get on. The elevator dinged and he met the eyes of the last two people he'd rather see right now.
"Lovi!" Antonio grinned his sunny grin at him, and Lovino wanted to throw himself out of a window.
"Bonjour Lovi. It is nice to see you here." Francis purred, eyes roaming over him in a way that Lovino wasn't entirely convinced was platonic.
"Yeah, yeah. I was planning to leave anyway."
"But it's almost midnight, Lovi! You can't leave yet amigo. Francis and I were going to go down to Times Square to see the ball drop."
"There's a ton of people there, why do you think you'll get close enough to see anything in person?"
"We can watch the screens. I just wanted too physically be there. Francis and I might even share a kiss. But you are welcome to join us!"
Lovino would rather die.
"I'll pass." Lovino said just as the elevator doors opened on the ground floor.
"Lovi, please stay with us. I haven't heard from you at all these past two months." Antonio gave him his pleading puppy dog eyes. The ones that Lovino always reluctantly gave into.
Lovino groaned, swiping a hand down his face, "Only until midnight and then after that I'm leaving."
It was cold, and snow was falling in light flurries. Nothing too heavy, it probably wouldn't stick. People were crowded behind the metal barriers leading to where the ball was in Times Square. Lovino almost couldn't see anything with how far back they were, only heard the music of some performers on the stage singing whatever songs they sang.
Francis tangled his fingers absentmindedly in Antonio's curls and Lovino wanted to roll his eyes again.
"So Lovi, how is your new boss? Last time we talked, you said your old one was leaving."
"Che. He's young and optimistic and gets on my damn nerves. He's all about efficiency, and team building. He always addresses things like we're a family. I'm sick of it."
"Oh Lovi." Antonio tilts his head, sunny grin still on his face.
"At least he is attractive, non?" Francis drapes his arms over Antonio's shoulders and kisses the man's ear.
"I don't think about my manager like that, Francis."
Francis glances back at him, fingers flicking the zipper of Antonio's coat. "Why not? It would give you something to distract from how annoying you find him to be. I do it all the time with my clients. I think, 'they are attractive, that is all that matters, just get through this one shoot and then you can go home to enjoy a glass of wine."
"Maybe you should look on the bright side. It might give you incentive to do something you're passionate about. Didn't you say you always wanted to grow a tomato farm?" Antonio spoke up again.
"Grow a tomato farm in the city, that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard. Nah, I'll keep this job until Alfred gets the balls to fire me."
"Ohonhonhon. Test his limits. See how much you can get away with." Francis grins in a sinister way.
Lovino had always wanted to try sleeping on his break. Maybe he would sleep in the supply closet.
"You're right Francis. I'm that kid's senior, he should respect me. If I want to take a three-hour break, I should be able to."
Francis furrows his eyebrows and Antonio laughs, "Never change Lovi."
Francis started talking about how he would have to take pictures of the CEO of the tech company that Gilbert, Ludwig, and Kiku work for, Lionessolutions. They're the company that manages the Iggy Two app and its advertisements. Iggy Two apparently had reached 100 million downloads globally this last quarter since the app first hit stores five years ago. Francis would be submitting the photos to a magazine that wants to cover the fast growth and success of the company.
Antonio congratulated Francis. Francis ate up the praise, and it surprised Lovino that the app had been out for that long and was just really becoming popular now. Or more so that if Arthur was actually someone whose consciousness was in some kind of system used for the app, it had been there for that long. But it was possible that Arthur just believed he was someone's consciousness, and no one was in a freezer for five years.
"Hey Francy pants, do me a favor will you?"
"Depends on what it is." Francis smirked.
"Ask the CEO if the name Arthur Kirkland rings any bells for her."
Francis raises an eyebrow, "Who is that a friend of yours?"
Shit. It's going to sound weird if I explain it. Damn bastard was right.
"Sure, we're pen pals or whatever on the internet. He said he used to work there a while ago when they first started the app."
"Lovi, you didn't tell me you made a friend over the internet!" Antonio gasped.
"Do I have to tell you everything that happens to me huh?"
"I could ask, but CEOs don't know everyone who works at their company. If your little friend is someone of little importance, she wouldn't know him. Do not get your hopes up."
Lovino shrugged, "It's not that important. If she doesn't know. She doesn't know."
"No, you don't have to tell me everything Lovi! I'm just happy for you! I know how hard it is for you to make amigos. Is he nice? Do you think you'll ever meet him in person?" Antonio smiled wide, hands on his cheeks.
"It's not a big deal, ok? We just talk sometimes." Lovino felt his cheeks warm with blush, having Antonio squeal over him like this was bringing back old feelings… well feelings that weren't gone yet. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and averted his gaze to the ball.
Just then everyone around them started shouting some numbers that sounded like 20 and 19. They were starting the countdown. Antonio looped his arm in Lovino's and Francis's as they joined in the countdown.
"Five!"
"Four!"
"Three!"
"Two!"
"One!"
The ball dropped down on its little pole and confetti was shot into the air as everyone screamed "Happy New Year!"
Lovino made the mistake of looking over to see Antonio and Francis sticking their tongues down each other's throats. They were pawing at each other's faces, breaths mingling with the cold. Lovino scrunched his face in disgust. He slipped his arm from Antonio's and made his way towards the subway, which he would be taking to go home.
0000000000
Lovino came home to his shared empty apartment and poured himself a glass of wine. He heard shots outside his window as people were still ringing in the new year. He sat at his kitchen table and opened the Iggy Two app.
L: Don't you dare say a word.
A: I was going to go to sleep but I had a feeling I should wait up for you. My little disappointment of a husband, tell your wife what happened.
L: You know, I asked this Kiku Honda guy who said he created the app about you. He said I should delete it and get rid of you. I might take his advice.
A: Honda. I remember that name. He was the one that ran my tests for the study. I had to pretend I was going through dating scenarios with different types of men and women.
L: How convenient.
A: Well that's how studies go. They used the results for their app, although I didn't know to what extent when I joined the study. Interesting that he wanted you to get rid of me. Can't have glitches in their perfect software I suppose.
L: Yeah I guess.
A: Did you see your friend Antonio and his boyfriend Francis?
L: They're sticking their tongues down each other's throats as we speak. And I told them we were internet friends.
A: You didn't get sloshed enough. You could've stuck your tongue down some random bloke's throat if you lost enough inhibition, but no you wanted to stay sober. And look what that's gotten you.
A: I'm appalled you would reduce our relationship down to something as lackluster as internet friends. We're practically married, you come home to me every night, don't you forget that.
Lovino didn't like how true that was at the moment. His cheeks warmed with blush.
L: I don't consider you a friend at all, bastard! Internet friends was too generous of a term!
A: Just because we're married doesn't mean we have to be happy about it. I'd say we're separated. Stuck with each other until someone has the guts to go through with the divorce.
L: You've been thinking about the housewife scenario a lot haven't you.
A: I have entirely too much free time.
A: If you don't mind me asking, what's so special about this Antonio guy anyway?
L: We grew up together and he's nice despite how hard it is for people to get along with me.
A: Hmmm. That makes sense. Although, I enjoyed my solitary childhood. Who needs friends when you can be perfectly content on your own.
If Arthur was anything like himself, he knew that was just the garbage he fed himself to justify the fact that no one actually wanted to spend time with him. And that deep down it hurt, but he built walls for a reason.
So Lovino could call him out on his bullshit, or he could let the little bot keep believing his own lies.
L: That's full of shit and you know it. You don't have to lie to me. I know what it's like to be left out.
A: Unlike you, I don't crave validation from others.
L: Che. Of course you don't. The rockstar doesn't need fans to make good music huh?
A: Belt up you tosser. Don't try to lump us together, we're nothing alike.
Lovino smirked and finished off his glass of wine.
L: I'm going to bed, bastard.
A: I hope you have a nightmare.
L: Don't give yourself so much credit, I don't want you in my dreams.
Lovino was sitting in front of a television. A program in black and white was playing and a typical white American family was on screen. The laugh track was rolling.
He jumped feeling something cover his hand and looked over to his right to see Arthur wearing one of those frilly and ruffled 1950s blue housewife aprons and a red button-down short sleeve dress.
Lovino screamed but the sound didn't come out. In a panic Lovino touched his throat. His other hand was still covered by the blond.
Arthur turned to him and smiled.
Lovino screamed even louder but still no sound came out, he was trying to get his attention or something.
"Wake up," Arthur said in a voice he'd never heard before.
…..
"Ahhhhh!" Lovino snapped his eyes open and woke up with a start. His breaths came out in short pants before he took a deep breath and exhaled to calm himself down.
Lovino gripped his covers and looked around his room, still as bare as it had always been. His closet to the right, opposite him, with a singular pair of jeans hanging on the hook, his other clothes in a pile on the floor. His beanbag chair, in the left corner, and his chest of drawers.
On his nightstand sat his phone, still open on the Iggy Two app. Apparently, he'd forgotten to close it out.
Lovino checked the time, it was around 9:00 am, too early for a Sunday. Feliciano hadn't come bursting into his room, so he was still with Ludwig at his penthouse.
Lovino had seen the "phone" icon on the Iggy Two app and had thought nothing of it. What would a bot sound like anyway? It probably sounded like one of those "Text to Speech" apps.
Curious from the strange dream he had, he pushed the button and held the phone to his ear. Fucking bastard got his wish alright. Fucking creepy ass nightmare, I had.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Click. "Did you actually have a nightmare?" A non-modulated voice that was like the one in his dream, honeyed and British, said through the speakers.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Lovino launched his phone across the room, it bumped against the door of his closet and fell into his pile of dirty clothes.
"Lovino?"
"Y-You're not supposed to sound like that!"
"You sound kind of distant. Did you throw your phone? Blazes, are we going to have to go through this again?"
"Ahhhhh!" This can't be happening. Life's giving me one middle finger after the other.
I was just humoring that insane little bot before, but now I'm truly convinced. I've heard many bots before and they can't fake a human voice.
"Lovino, calm down. You're getting hysterical."
Lovino ran out of the room and slammed his door shut to create more distance between them. His heart thumped in his chest.
Someone's consciousness is in my phone.
00000000
Lovino had to go back into his room at some point. It had been two hours now. Feliciano still hadn't made his way home, although Lovino wasn't worried about him, Ludwig would bring him back eventually.
Lovino slowly turned the knob to his bedroom and approached his pile of dirty clothes. Hopefully his phone had died.
He dug his hand in and picked it up. He tapped the phone, unlocked it and found it was still open on the app.
He had about 3% battery left. Fuck.
"Arthur, you still there?" Lovino pressed the phone to his ear.
Lovino heard silence on the other end, a few agonizingly long seconds went past.
"Of course, I'm still here you idiot! Where else would I be?"
"Ok, so you're really a person?"
"Yes, I've been saying that!"
"And you're trapped in my phone?"
"Well technically no. I'm physically somewhere else. It's just that my waking consciousness is tied to this app and the system that runs its processes."
"That's confusing. Where would you be then?"
"I'm not sure. At Lionessolutions headquarters maybe? Or did you mean me as in me who is talking to you now?"
"Chigi! Could you be a little more clearer?"
"Ok I'll try to break it down. They explained the process of making 'cookies' as taking your consciousness to make an exact digital copy of you to put in a computer. I guess that's what I am."
"Ok…Mhmm…."
"In the database the cookie was trimmed down to be regulated and friendly for the app, which is what you call Iggy. So technically I am in your app, forced to answer your beck and call until you delete it for good."
"Oh well why didn't you just say that? That was easier to follow! So what should I do? Do you want me to delete the app?"
"No, I would like you to find the physical Arthur and take me out of the system, though that's quite a long shot."
"Isn't that what you signed up for? People like the app, I can't just try to shut it down just because you malfunctioned."
"But I know I wouldn't have approved if I knew of the conditions."
"I don't know, maybe you're not in a freezer. Maybe the real you is out there living his life and you're just a digital copy stuck here with me."
"It's fine really, you could continue being oblivious if you'd like." He said that, but Lovino could hear the sour tone in his voice.
Lovino was going to continue being oblivious. Getting involved in something like that seemed risky, and he wanted to continue his mundane life.
"I will, bastard. I don't give enough of a shit about you to do anything but that."
"Fine, fine. I'll change the topic then. Your voice is kind of gravely, not at all what I was expecting. Something booming, loud and somehow authentically American had come to mind, but you're Italian, aren't you?"
"Proud of it too, born and raised in Sicily although I've technically lived in this shit hole longer as a naturalized citizen."
"Do you ever think of going back? Unless you typically visit family or something.
"I wish but we don't have enough money for trips like that. Maybe Feli will ask his rich boyfriend when they get married to pay for a trip down to Sicily. If I'm lucky, I could tag along."
"You have a brother? Do you get along with him?"
"I actually have two. My youngest brother still lives with our parents, he's not nearly as annoying as Feli though. Are you like an only child or some shit? Or was the app right about you having a twin sister?"
"A what? No, I don't have a twin sister or even a sister. They really pulled shite out of their arses for those bios, yeah? I've got three aggravating older brothers, who've all moved to different parts of the UK with their wives."
"Are you actually from London?"
"No, the English countryside but I guess London was more internationally known, so it was easier to market."
Lovino checked his phone to see it was blinking at 1%.
"I'd like to visit them again one day. Do you think that's why out of all the homes, my virtual one is that one?"
Damnit, Lovino felt a little bad for him. But it's possible the real Arthur is fine, and sees his family every once in a while for holidays.
He furrowed his eyebrows.
"U-uh my phone is about to die." And with that his phone powered down and the call dropped.
But that wasn't his problem, even if they had Real Arthur in a freezer. If Real Arthur's relatives wanted to see him, they'd have to scrounge up enough money to visit him…wherever the company had him, if they had him.
Lionessolutions would probably let them see him, right? Yeah.
Feliciano got in around midafternoon and was talking nonstop about Ludwig and how he introduced him to a few of his co-workers. He had fun singing karaoke and was commissioned to paint a portrait of Ivan Braginsky the lead data and encoding specialist of Lionessolutions next month.
"Good for you. Maybe you'll be able to pay for your half of the rent next month."
Feliciano grinned, "Yeah! Maybe I can ask about your app! Is it still malfunctioning?"
"No, it's fine. Don't worry about it." Lovino waved him off.
A/N: Thank you for reading! Criticism Welcome.