Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia: Axis Powers or Black Mirror. All rights go to their creators.

Chapter 13: The Android

Arthur ended up wiping himself off, and Lovino took his clothes, stuffing them with a few towels. This "look-alike" towel dummy, he was going to put in the plastic bin Arthur came in. He gave Arthur a pair of jeans and a sweater he owned. They weren't the same shoe size so he was shoeless for now. Lovino also had to part with a few outfits in order for Arthur and his charging platform to fit in his suitcase. It wouldn't stall Kiku forever, but it would give them a little time to bring Arthur to their apartment under the guise of "losing it in the airport."

"You know, you've been partaking in a lot of criminal activity." Arthur said, right as he made a space for him and the charging platform in his luggage.

"Shut up, it's your damn fault!"

"I know, by most standards, people would call that hot. You could go far with that if you're trying to impress someone."

Lovino rolled his eyes, and made a reach for the button to power him down, but the android caught his wrist. "Uh, uh, uh, you can't just power me down whenever you'd like, love." He practically purred.

Lovino felt his face warm several degrees, before he snatched his hand away, "Do it yourself then! This shit gives me so much fucking anxiety, I don't give a shit if some find it hot."

Lovino went over to grab the charging platform and stuff it into the suitcase just as Feli emerged from the bathroom.

"Oooh I feel so tingly! We're about to do something so dangerous and illegal!"

"Arthur says I could use that to pick up women." Lovino crossed his arms.

"Oh yeah! I've heard of that, but I've never been able to pull it off before. Are you going to try it?"

Lovino rubbed his temples, "I'm getting a migraine. Of course not!"

"I wasn't saying it like that!" Arthur yelled.

"Well what did you mean then?" Feliciano asked.

Arthur let out would only could be described as a grunt of frustration, "Nevermind. Forget it." To which he pushed the button and powered himself down.

Lovino grabbed him around the waist and hoisted him up to place him into his suitcase. Lovino folded his legs and arms before pushing him down. He had to pull the zipper pretty hard, giving it a few tugs as it got stuck before he zipped it all the way around.

"Don't think I didn't notice you two hugging when I came in after Luddy proposed, what was that about huh?" Feli smirked at him.

"It was nothing! Just worry about keeping your damn mouth shut. I know it's hard for you, but we've got to make this convincing."

Feli made a motion to zip up his lips, but there was a look in his eyes that said he hadn't completely dropped the subject.

They arrived at the airport by calling a taxi. They checked out of the hotel with no problems.

Arthur made his suitcase very heavy, and hoisting it onto the conveyor belt to load onto the plane, was proving to be a struggle. Feli just fucking looked at him, and didn't lift a finger to help him at all. They had already loaded the bins on there under Kiku's watchful eye.

For all of his struggling it was suddenly lighter, and he looked over to see Ludwig. He would be charged extra for how much his luggage weighed. Ludwig let out a disgruntled sigh, "I guess it couldn't be helped that you would buy many souvenirs to take back with you."

Lovino again was being drained of his pockets by Arthur. He let out a growl as he pulled out his credit card and charged the extra amount to it.

Going through the same motions as when they arrived: on the flight Lovino watched a few more movies. Feli was watching this romance series called From Scratch. At the very least he wasn't cursing at the screen.

After watching three movies, going to the bathroom twice, eating some random turkey sub for lunch, and finishing where he left off on The Godfather, they were now back in New York City.

Kiku grabbed the dolly, which had the bins on it from Lovino, and thanked them for keeping the androids safe when they came from baggage claim.

"No problem Kiku! I told you, you could count on us." Feli gave him a left handed salute.

Lovino prayed to any gods that would hear him that Kiku wouldn't check the bins right here, and right now. Lucky for them, Gilbert had come to pick Feli, Ludwig and himself up. Feli took this moment to gush about the proposal to Gilbert, who said he'd known of Ludwig's plans to do so.

Feli gave Gilbert a tight hug and Ludwig a kiss on the lips in parting. Lovino rolled his eyes as Gilbert hugged him even though he clearly didn't want to be hugged by him.

Lovino could only let out a long sigh as it was late and he was actually tired from the flight. Lovino collapsed onto his bed, not even bothering to unpack when they got back to their apartment.

00000

The first month was hell. Charging up Arthur caused their electric bill to go up and their phone bill from making calls overseas, which forced him to have to ask Ludwig for a loan. In order to pay him back he would have to do the one thing he hated the most, overtime. Feli also didn't help matters because he decided he just had to take Arthur shopping. While Lovino was busting his ass working, Feli was having Arthur try on shoes.

Feli had gotten another in-person commission and forced Arthur to go with him. He made some money, but it was only enough to cover his half of the rent. And it wasn't like he'd ever do more just to help him out.

Feli made the mistake of letting Arthur cook, and he almost set their apartment on fire three separate times. Feli was able to use the extinguisher, so the fire department wasn't needed. It was a good thing Arthur didn't need to eat because another fucking mouth to feed would have just made everything worse.

Lovino was too exhausted working overtime three times a week to spend any time with the android.

"Lovino are you alright? I've never seen you work so much." Alfred said, having called him into his office at the cafe.

"My expenses went up and my brother isn't fucking helping."

"I don't like seeing you so tired. I'm all for extra work, but not like this. How about I give you an advance on your check?"

"Really?"

"Yeah you've been working here for a long time, call it a long time member's perk." Alfred grinned.

Lovino still didn't like the kid but maybe he was alright.

Lovino went back out just as Tolys was taking a customer's order. Lovino saw the customer was wearing a hood pulled over their head and a mask over their nose.

Tolys said that the customer wanted a chai tea latte. A chai tea latte for "William." Lovino made the latte, drizzling whipped cream on top and slid the cup to the customer, only to notice something off about their hands. But they left the counter quickly, and took a seat near the window, only their side profile visible.

And throughout his shift he felt the sensation of someone staring at him, but when he looked over he couldn't tell who had been doing it.

"Lovino, any luck on finding an apartment?" Vladimir asked around closing time. He handed Lovino a leftover doughnut.

"Fuck! I forgot about that. I haven't really had any time to myself since I got back that didn't involve sleeping."

"I could look around and send you something if I see something." Vladimir bit off of a leftover frosted sugar cookie.

"Nothing too pricey."

"Did you give Berwald a call?"

"No, I'm still feeling weird about it." Lovino shrugged, biting off a piece of doughnut, "He'll think I'm fucking weird."

Vladimir nudged him, "Don't be so hard on yourself. Who knows what'll happen if you ask him."

Lovino waved him off, noticing that the same customer was still here, "Ugh don't people check their phones? They know when we close." Lovino walked over to where the customer was sitting and rapped his knuckle on the table.

"Hey buddy, we're closed. Get out of here."

The customer scooted back their seat, causing it to screech against the floor. They grabbed what looked like a few sheets of paper and some pencils and stuffed them into their pocket.

"A-ah sorry about that, lost track of time." And they moved past him.

Lovino recognized that voice, and grabbed hold of the android's arm. "Arthur what the hell are you doing here? You can't even drink tea!"

"I know that! But I can still smell it and remember what it tastes like!" He pulled out of his grasp.

"Why don't you be fucking weird at home, huh?"

"I just wanted a change of scenery."

"And you pick here? The campus has all that nice air, and trees, and shit." Lovino put his hands on his hips.

"Lovino! Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend?" Vladimir said as he and Alfred made their way over.

Alfred looked Arthur over pretty hard, to which Arthur muffed his face.

"You're a robot! Oh my gosh! What kind of model are you? Lovino, did you make him?" Alfred pulled up Arthur's sleeve.

"No, I didn't. Do I look like a fucking nerd, you fucking nerd?" Lovino pulled his overenthusiastic boss from the android. "There's a long complicated story behind that, but the short version is that he's a fucking Iggy Two android named Arthur."

"Whoa! How'd you get one so fast? They haven't been publicly released yet! There was only an announcement last week in HetaTech Quarterly that they were in the works for discussion and development." Alfred gripped Lovino's collar.

"Nice to meet you! I'm Vladimir, Lovino's longtime coworker!" Vladimir held out a hand to shake, which Arthur shook in turn.

"Alfred you're going to have to promise me you won't tell anyone about him because I stole him."

"Holy shit dude! Yeah I'll keep it sealed, lock and key! You gotta let me look at his hardware though! That's some advanced tech, maybe I could make some improvements, or even make my own."

Lovino exchanged a look with Arthur who groaned, "Don't do anything weird."

Alfred gave him a proper right handed salute, "I won't mister robot dude! I'm a professional." He held out his hand, "Nice to meet you! I'm Alfred, the manager of this here cafe!"

"Likewise I suppose." Alfred gripped Arthur's hand a bit more firmly than needed and shook him.

"So you have your own free will then, seeing as you came here and Lovino didn't know about it." Alfred said, "Interesting."

"I wish I could give you a pastry to try but you know…" Vladimir chuckled, "But I could read your tarot cards if you want."

"I think Arthur should go home. We've still got to clean and shit, remember?" Lovino said, pushing Arthur toward the door.

"Oh yeah! You're welcome to come back if you buy something! Have a good night!" Alfred and Vladimir waved at Arthur as he took him outside.

"Will you be able to get home ok, or you need me to call a cab?"

"I'll be fine. I didn't mean to cause you any more trouble."

Lovino waved him off, "I know being around Feli too long is a major pain in the ass. Sorry my boss is a fanboy, he's into tech shit, I'll make sure he doesn't do anything weird."

"I appreciate that."

"Well I'll see you at home, I guess."

With that Lovino went back into the shop to close up. Alfred asked him a million questions that he quietly ignored in the hopes that the kid would shut up but he didn't.

At the end of his shift, Alfred locked up and they all went their separate ways. That was until Lovino felt a grip on his arm. His heart got lodged in his throat as he feared for the worse.

"Don't be alarmed. It's just me." Arthur said, voice just above a whisper.

Lovino pulled away from him, "Fucking bastard! Why do you always want to give me a damn heart attack? What are you still doing here?"

"You were worried about me getting back home alone, I thought it would make sense if we walked home together."

"Why didn't you say that before? Now I feel stupid! You could've waited inside or some shit if you were going to do that!"

"I just thought about it, and I didn't want to impede on your cleaning routine." Lovino shoved him, he was so stupid, someone could've taken him.

"Whatever, let's go." Lovino led the way toward the subway.

00000

A check stub was slid toward him one day a couple of weeks later while he was eating breakfast. He was sitting at their island counter.

Lovino looked up from his cereal to meet the android's green eyes, "The hell is that?"

"Are you daft? What does it bloody look like?"

"You asked Ludwig for another loan? I'll have to work even more fucking overtime!"

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, "No you idiot! I got a job and this is my first paycheck! You said you needed more money because of the strain I was putting on your electricity."

Lovino was speechless. He had so many questions, but honestly his first instinct was to snatch up the check stub with the check attached and look at how much it was.

It was off of a minimum wage salary, but it was enough to help out.

Lovino felt his eyes burning with unshed tears. Arthur didn't have to, technically he wasn't a tenant, he didn't eat or sleep in a bed.

Lovino covered his eyes with his arm, "Don't look at me! My eyes are sweating!" Tears ran down his cheeks.

"I work at a call center for some retail store that's probably going to go out of business. They were asking me about social security, and I said I'm not even a person, so I didn't need that." Arthur said while going to grab him a few tissues, "My selling point was that I don't need to eat or shite, so they didn't have to worry about breaks from me."

Lovino took one when he returned, furiously wiping his eyes. He snorted, "Of course they'd like that."

"My co-workers give me shite though, worried that this is the beginning of the end, robots are going to take over their jobs."

"Sounds like a movie I've seen. Should I be worried about the android uprising?"

"You're safe for now, but who knows for sure when Lionessolutions starts cranking out those Iggy androids."

Lovino scooped a spoonful of cereal into his mouth and hummed.

He avoided the android's gaze, reminded of the act of kindness he did just now, "G-grazie."

"The least you could do is look me in the eyes," Arthur tilted his chin so that he was forced to face him. "It's no problem really, anything to ease your burden."

Lovino felt his cheeks warm up, he hoped he didn't look like a tomato.

Lovino pulled back, quickly gathering his bowl of cereal, "I don't have to do any more overtime, that's a relief." He got up and dumped his stuff into the dishwasher. His heart was still beating pretty rapidly though.

The buzzer sounded, and Lovino rushed over to get it. Feli was out with Ludwig as they were discussing plans for the engagement party. He didn't say anything about someone stopping by.

"Ciao?" Lovino spoke into the intercom.

"Mister Vargas, good to know someone is home." It was Kiku, fuck he knows.

"I'm going out soon so now is not a good time. Feli's out so–"

"I had not come for Feli. I'd like to talk with you in regards to some misplaced property."

Lovino let go of the intercom and met Arthur's gaze, "He's come for you."

"Shite, what are you going to do? Should I just go back with him?"

"I don't fucking know! The plan was never a permanent solution. And if I refuse he could just call the police!" Lovino pulled at his hair, "I could buy us some more time; I'll call in a favor from Antonio."

The buzzer rang again. Lovino pulled out his phone and called Antonio, after a few rings he picked up, "¡Hola Lovi! I'm so happy you called! How was your trip?"

"Antonio, I need a favor!" Buzzzzzttt, the buzzer rang.

"Anything for you Lovi!"

"Are you at home right now?"

"Sí it–" Buzzzzzttt.

Lovino rested the phone in the crook of his neck. He grabbed a pen and paper from the coffee table and scribbled Antonio's address onto it.

"I need you to house a friend of mine for a little while. He's coming over there now. Don't be alarmed that he looks like a robot, ok?"

"Oh, is he like a criminal?"

Lovino handed Arthur the paper and pushed him toward the window that led to the fire escape. Buzzzzzttt.

"I'll explain more to you later." He ended the call. Buzzzzzttt.

Arthur was just outside the window, staring at him. Lovino wasn't sure what he was thinking, maybe hesitancy to trust someone he's never met.

"Antonio's good people, I'll visit when things die down, ok?"

"You really know how to make someone feel special."Arthur looked down and gripped his hands, "Alright, I'll hold you to that," squeezing them lightly before he let go and made his way down the fire escape.

Unsure of what that truly was about, Lovino finally let Kiku up, who also had two police officers with him. One of them held up a yellow sheet of paper that looked to be a search warrant.

Lovino stepped aside as they ransacked the small apartment for the android, throwing out couch cushions, turning over chairs.

"You thought I wouldn't have known it was you?" Kiku asked, hands folded behind his back.

"It wasn't me, someone must have switched the bins at the airport. Maybe I picked up the wrong one."

Kiku narrowed his eyes at him, "You wanted to make a profit and pawned him off? Why did you only take one?"

"I didn't!"

"I'll find him, whoever you sold him to; I'll check all the pawn shops in the area. And then you'll be arrested for selling stolen property."

"You don't have any evidence that I sold him!"

"I trusted you and Feli. Why would you betray me in this way? Have you always been a greedy little snake? The Yin to Feli's Yang?"

Lovino clenched his fists, "You're greedy! Don't act all high and mighty to me when you stole–!" Lovino wasn't sure what he was going to accuse Kiku of, stealing Arthur's likeness? Stealing his memories? Stealing his affection?

The officers came up with nothing, and Kiku was not happy. "I'll be back, and it'll be to watch you be arrested." Kiku stalked out the door and once it shut Lovino collapsed onto the floor.

Relief flooded through him in waves. Kiku was busy again for now, but wouldn't be forever. He sighed as he realized he'd have to clean up this mess.

00000

Feli obviously was shocked when he came in and saw Lovino was sitting in front of the television, in front of a flipped over couch with the cushions removed, eating a sandwich. Lovino had decided he would make Feli clean when he got back.

"What happened!?"

"Honda came looking for Arthur." Lovino muttered looking back at his soaps. Amanda had just caught Julian cheating on her with her sister.

"Oh no! Did he take him?"

"No, I sent him to stay over at Antonio's for a bit, lay low and shit. Honda thinks I pawned him off to somebody. Don't tell your damn fiancé alright?"

"Well that's good…I guess. Do you think you could just ask Kiku if you could keep Arthur? Or like share him?"

"He's not our fucking child Feli, we don't have joint ownership of him! He's Honda's property that we stole."

"But he's your friend! I'm sure if you told Kiku how much he means to you, he'd let him stay with us."

Lovino let a breath out of his nose and got up to match his height.

"I know you're an idiot and everything goes through a fog before it enters your brain, but think for a second, he doesn't give a shit about my feelings! He wants his android back!"

"Kiku isn't a cold hearted monster. I'm sure he–."

"You could negotiate with him if you want, but leave me out of it." Lovino sat back down to finish watching his soaps.

Feliciano got to work straightening up the place, Lovino only helped him right the couch in order to lounge on it and resume watching his soaps.

Lovino got a notification and scrolled on his phone to look at some properties Vladimir had sent him. Most looked to be in horrible conditions, or in rougher areas than they currently lived in. But they were in his budget.

Lovino got a call later when he and Feli were eating dinner, Feli had made some lasagna, and they were watching that reality tv show with the catfishing. Lovino went into his room to answer the phone.

"Antonio, did you do something stupid?"

"No Lovi! But your robot friend, Arturo, ran out of batteries! Do you charge him or something?"

"Fuck I forgot to give him his charging pad. You can come get it tomorrow. He has work on Monday."

"He has a job?"

"Si, he's helping me out with a few expenses, no big deal."

"That's so sweet! I'm so happy for you Lovi. I was giving him a talking to because he seems like such a troublemaker, and you shouldn't be associated with people like that. I have to tell Francis he'll be staying with me. How long do you want me to house him?"

"Eh, about a week or so. I think Honda won't be on my ass then."

"Lovi, did you steal him? He must mean alot to you if you don't want to give him back."

"It's a whole thing I don't want to get into, but promise me you'll keep him safe, ok? And don't say anything embarrassing about me to him!"

Antonio laughed in his weird way, "Of course Lovi, I promise."

"Grazie bastard."

"You have to tell me about your trip when I come over to get the charger. Like apparently Ludwig proposed to Feli?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll tell you the details." Lovino rolled his eyes and then he hung up.

00000

Antonio rang the buzzer and Lovino let him up, sunny grin and all. "¡Hola Lovi!" Antonio hugged Lovino so tight he thought he would crack his ribs.

"Hey bastard, I got some olives, I know you like snacking on those." Lovino grabbed a jar of pitted olives out of the fridge that he'd bought months ago just in case Antonio was over. He just eats them like they're candy or some shit.

He twisted open the jar, it popped, and he handed the jar to Antonio who took his seat on the couch.

"Gracias." He popped a green olive into his mouth and munched happily. "So…how was the trip? ¿Cómo estaba mi hermano?"

"Very draining. We got off to a rocky start, me and your brother. But he's alright, he says he likes it over there and probably isn't going to visit."

Antonio avoided his gaze briefly, "I figured as much. Eh, it is what it is." Antonio shrugged, "I'm glad to hear he's doing good though!" He gave him a teeth filled grin.

"I told him you were still with Francis. Is Francis serious Antonio? Did you make sure before you took him back this time?"

Antonio waved him away, "Of course I did! He told me that he loved me during sex. He's never done that before."

Lovino didn't need to know that, but also didn't they say that's just the high dopamine in your brain talking?

"Well I guess that's something," he muttered.

Antonio popped a few more olives into his mouth. Lovino took one from his jar to do the same.

"So…the robot? Why did you steal it? Does it do your cleaning for you?"

Lovino shook his head, "It's complicated…" He let a breath out of his nose and chanced a glance at Antonio whose eyebrow was raised. He hadn't said anything as silence settled between them. He'd hoped Antonio would choose to move on to another topic, deeming his answer sufficient enough.

"Complicated like how? It does more than just cleaning?"

"Promise you won't laugh at me."

"Lovi, I wouldn't do that. Come on, you can tell me."

"Eh I don't know. It was Feli's idea to sync my chatbot data to the robot…he thought I needed friends." Lovino shrugged.

"If you think you need a robot compadre, that's fine with me." Antonio leaned in close to him, nose to nose, " As long as he isn't a replacement for me."

Lovino muffed him in the face and pushed him away, "No, it's not like that bastard."

Antonio let out a chuckle, "Now tell me about the proposal! Feli and Ludwig are getting married?"

"They've been dating forever. Ludwig took him on to the London eye and proposed to him right there. Romantic shit you know? I didn't see it though."

Antonio let out a sigh, "That sounds nice. I can only hope that Francis would do something like that for me…or I could do something like that to him! Lovi I have to make some plans to fly us to Europe and propose to Francis! We've known each other for longer than Ludwig and Feli, it has to be special."

Lovino didn't think that was a good idea. He still didn't know if Francis truly loved Antonio, and for him to pressure Francis by doing something grandiose would be soul crushing if he declined, and also a waste of money.

Antonio bounced on his side of the couch, buzzing with excitement. "I could play him a song! I could arrange for letters to be written in the sky! I have to save up if I want to do something like that."

"Yeah save up, don't rush into anything."

"Would you help me get everything together when I have the money for it?" Antonio had sparkles in his eyes. Lovino bit his lip, he wasn't good at that stuff, but Antonio wanted him to so he nodded. He'd just ask Feli to do it for him anyway.

Antonio talked about his coworker at the olive oil packaging plant who just had a daughter. And then they all started talking about having children, something he and Francis hadn't discussed. Antonio always wanted children and thought he'd be a great father. Lovino never thought about kids, too much responsibility, at least right now.

Lovino gave Antonio the charging platform Arthur stood on. Antonio had almost eaten the entire jar of olives, so he just told Antonio to take it home with him. Antonio grinned and said he'd see him next week.

It was later that night, and Lovino realized that he couldn't really call Arthur at all anymore. It wasn't like he had a phone. And it had only been two days so he shouldn't be feeling the urge to call him anyway. Arthur would probably find it creepy if he called him, well called Antonio to talk to him.

But he was usually the last person Lovino talked to before going to bed, which could be said was pathetic or sad, but it had been a habit they'd fallen into. Recently he was just around so they'd say it in passing, Feli chiming in because he was there too. So, that night Lovino laid awake in his bed wondering how he'd changed so much that he missed saying goodnight to a fucking chatbot/android.

Then Lovino's phone rang. Lovino furrowed his eyebrows as he saw it was Antonio, but his home number. He was one of the few people who still had a landline, a backup phone. He never really called him late at night while he was sleeping unless it was an emergency.

"What do you want, bastard? Did you hurt yourself again?"

"No you idiot! I assumed you'd be asleep by now, I hadn't expected you to pick up." Arthur said through the phone.

"You called from Antonio's phone of course I was going to pick up! Why did you call if you didn't want me to answer the phone?"

"I called by accident!"

"Well, I was in the middle of sleeping, so if you don't want anything I'm hanging up."

"W-wait, uh…you're doing ok, yeah?"

Lovino rolled his eyes, "Yeah Honda didn't kill me. He's off sniffing his nose on a different trail. But I'd say give him a week and then I'll come see you if you miss me so damn much."

"Oh don't make it sound like you don't want to see me.I know you miss me."

"Whatever, I'm getting a goddamn break for once, peace and quiet…Speaking of the opposite, I'd advise you to turn yourself off when Antonio's French bastard of a boyfriend shows up."

"How delightful," he said exasperated.

After a pause Arthur said, "Well…I'll let you get back to sleep. Have a goodnight I suppose."

"You too I guess." And for the first time, Lovino heard the line click and fall silent as Arthur hung up the phone.

Lovino set his phone back onto the nightstand, not being able to stop the smile that inched its way onto his face as he snuggled under his covers and went to sleep.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Constructive criticism welcome.