Please remember that my first language is not English. And I don't own Warhammer 40k.
I have so many questions right now, but I will probably never get answers to them. Like, why did am I in Warhammer 40K? Who really is the ROB who sent me here, is Tzeentch dead and is his Tomb really on this unimportant planet and why is my System a bitch.
I can only wonder as I go through this Dungeon. We just walking in a corridor with lots of signs on the walls, and the ceiling, and the floor, it's everywhere. I've been tasked with reminding Hollie to be quiet and not talk all the time because apparently a high person has a short memory. Why should I, Ron's right hand man do a task like this? Because apparently high Hollie doesn't see Ron as her boss and just listens to me, pretty cute if it wasn't for the fact that she's been almost talking my ears off for 6 hours just a few minutes earlier.
I started to hear mumbling from further up in the group, those in front of us started whispering to those behind them and then they started whispering to those behind them until it got to me.
"There's a room ahead," said one of the men in front of me. After a while we wandered into the room, and it was… beautiful. Red, blue and purple gems covered the walls and pillars of the room. It almost glows, and it would be absolutely beautiful if we didn't have fluorescent lights that illuminate the room quite unnaturally.
"Ok, I know what I said before, but I will say it again, touch, nothing".
There was murmuring between the small groups that had formed in the room. It kind of reminds me of friend groups at school.
"Don't you see what we see? If we sell those we can get rich, I thought I had gone with a rogue trader company, not a puss who dare not take a chance when it is in front of him".
A few people started to say that they agree with him or give their own opinions, but it wasn't something I was interested in. I had looked a little on a path of gems on the wall and saw signs between them, and I could read them. Universal Translator, you never let me down.
I started trying to read what was on the wall, with tried as the key word, I can read it, but the words keep changing, I would have expected something like this from the god of change.
When I looked back I saw Ron and the man complaining and yelling at each other. I don't know why, but I get the feeling I usually get when someone does something really stupid in a horror movie, I should probably stop them now.
"Ok ok, can we take it easy, remember we are in enemy territory now," I said trying to calm the situation down.
"Yes yes, help your boss, but don't you see the riches we have in front of us, plus there are no enemies here", said the angry man with an impressive mustache when I look at him, it is like what villains usually have in a cartoon.
"No enemies?, Where do you think they all went, that they just went into the swamp and started living like junglemen, we're here to find out what happened here and fix it if we can," Ron yelled back.
"You are here for that, we are here to make money and the best way is right here," the man with the mustache pointed towards one of the pillars of gems and happened to touch one of them, and when he did so an extreme light was created that blinded me for a couple of seconds, but during those seconds I heard screams of pain that sounded almost like the man with the mustache, but there was something inhuman about it.
When I look back, I saw what I can only call a disaster. The space around the pillar had disappeared and instead was a portal, but it's not the portal I'm worried about. No, it's the blue and pink demons coming out of it, and they immediately started throwing things in all directions that made it look like a vomiting rainbow, a very deadly vomiting rainbow.
"Oh shit," I yelled as I ran for cover and to get a high Hollie out of the line of fire. Unfortunately, the fight was at the entrance of the room so I couldn't run out of here and had to go further into the room which is longer than I thought, or it got longer, with Tzeentch, you never know.
I was about to take cover behind a pillar when a enegy blast whizzed past me and hit it, rocks and gems flying all over. The pillar fell on the floor and hopefully works as well as protection now, but now we have to lie on the ground. I threw Hollie to the ground behind the pillar, probably harder than I needed to, I then took cover myself and took out my gun and looked in the direction the energy blast was coming from.
It was chaos, more and more demons came into the room, shots and enegy hitting both humans and demons, I could no longer see where Ron was, but I think I can hear him yelling orders. I started shooting at the Blue Horrors because I knew if I shot the pink ones they would turn into more blue, and we don't need more demons here.
-3
-2
+5 xp
-2
-3
-3
+ 5 xp
A group of blue and pink Horrors that I've started shooting down now look like they've seen me and decided I was a bigger danger than the group they'd been after, and then I had a group of blue and pink demons coming against me and throw or shoot something that I don't really know what it is.
"Fuck fuck fuck", my brain went as fast as it can to find a way for me to get out of this situation. Marksman, no, Stealth, no, Sneak Attack, not anymore, Protection Of the God Emperor, maybe but I can't activate it, Cleaning Breathing, it's a joke. Shit, I can't figure out how to get us out of this.
While I was trying to figure out how to get us out of this, Hollie had picked up her laser rifle and stood up and with one foot on the pillar and both hands on her weapon started firing like Rambo, and thinking of what she looks like after walking in a swamp for more than the 12 hours we were supposed to, I dare say she looks like a genderbent Rambo.
Hollie somehow hadn't been shot yet after almost ten seconds, she hadn't been hit at all and it made me wonder if she also had Protection Of the God Emperor, and considering she's also a Rogue Trader, yes I would guess she has it, or just luck.
-4
"Fuck," I screamed as one of the demons hit me behind the pillar and a piece of my shoulder was burned away. The fuck, why am I the one who got hit, Hollie is the one in the open.
(Boom)
An explosion blew away a large portion of the Blue and Pink Horrors and through the smoke came the Ogryn and Bartellophis, and there were much less magical projectiles flying at us. They came towards us and stood behind the pillar, from between the three Ogryns Ron came out and took cover next to me.
"Thanks for the help, if you hadn't gotten their attention earlier I wouldn't have made it, there's only so much three Ogryn can protect me from."
Oh, what he what they attacked before, um I can't say I didn't know it like that. "Just doing my job," I said as cool as I could with a burn on my shoulder.
We now stood in a line and shot at the rest of the demons in the room, if this was a movie, it would probably be playing epic music right now, I thought to myself.
[ Note, playingFree Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd]
YOU HAVE SPOTIFY?!
And the bird you cannot change
The music started playing and I noticed one thing, it's not the beginning of the song.
[Answer. I just like this bit, deal with it]
I deal with it and I keep shooting.
(Author note, I won't write all the damage and xp, so I'll just lump them together]
-14
+ 20 xp
"Hey, is anyone else hearing music right now?" Ron asked.
Oh fuck, he can hear it? System, can he hear it? Why does he hear it?
[Answer. You didn't say you wanted to be the only one to hear it, and you thought "play epic music right now"]
Fuck this, I thought before I saw a grenade fly through the air right over a group of Pink Horrors and and I fired at it and managed to hit the grenade which only left a couple of Blue Horrors. "Hell ya!".
And this bird, you cannot change
The Ogryn fired their heavier weapons, blasting demons to pieces on contact, one of theOgryn (definitely not Ed] tried to throw a grenade, but threw the wrong part, and the grenade rolled in front of Ron. Ron, who is used to this happening quickly caught it and threw it at a large demon, and it blew up in its face.
Lord knows, I can't change
Bartellophis_Garc used his Mk IV Arkhan Galvanic Rifle with his Hit-Assist program and hit three demons in one shot and then fired again, this time hitting four in one shot. Then he saw a large enemy with tentacles and a large claw, and what he was aiming at, a round mouth. Bartellophis took out of his pocket a sonic grenade that he had made himself, Bartellophis Hit-Assist program which of course works with grenades, managed to hit it right in the mouth and he could see how it started to shake until it was a red white puddle on the floor.
Lord knows, I can't change
Hollie shot her water gun at the cute blue and pink puppies, they gobbled up the water, it was obviously thirsty so she tried to hit as many of their mouths as possible, but there were so many. It was then she had an idea, on the way here she was pretty sure she saw how to use her water gun, it looked like her water gun anyway. In any case, she was pretty sure they said if you broken the par where the water is, everything would come out, so she hit her water gun on the ground and threw it at the cute puppies. They ran towards the water gun, or towards her, she didn't know. But when the blue and pink puppies were around the water gun and then all the water came out and the cute blue and pink female puppies became beautiful flowers.
"Well done Hollie, you can now come home again, because you were good with the puppies".
When I looked behind me, I saw mom, she looked like her happy self, not the angry one she became when dad disappeared. Mother held out her arms for a hug and I of course hugged back, it doesn't matter that she is cold as metal and feels like metal, she'll hug mom anyway.
Lord, I can't change, Won't you fly high, free bird, yeah
(Gutar solo)
The explosion blew away the last of the Blue and Pink Horrors in front of us, I have no idea how Hollie got her lasgun to explode like that, but it helped.
+65 xp
I checked out to see if there were any more of the enemy left, but that's when I saw it, teeth scraping against the ground, teeth in its claws, teeth and blue fire in all of its mouths. I knew where it was from when I played the total war game, A Flamer, I don't know much about them when it comes to lore, but I used it a lot in the game, and they were strong, and it's coming right at me. I started shooting at it, but den it started shaking.
"An earthquake? why now," I heard Ron say.
"Hey, can I get some help here," I said as I looked back, but was surprised.
#Get your dirty hands off me you breeding machine!# shouted Bartellophis whileHollie hugged him.
I looked at him in surprise before I remember that a very dangerous demon was coming and I yelled, Ron, Ed, shoot at the one with fire, don't let it get near us!".
They apparently heard because everyone started shooting at it, but there was one thing that got in the way, the room started to move, new doorways opened in the walls, walls and pillars rose from the ground, and a wall was created between me and Ron, but the Flamer was on my side.
I took a deep breath and aimed my gun. I have hit an eye of a giant frog, I can hit one of its heads. I shot after a second of concentration, and one man from our group ran in front of the demon and I hit him in the back.
I looked in surprise at the screaming man who appeared out of nowhere and wondered if I was so focused on shooting that I didn't see him, but I couldn't worry about that because the Flamer shot fire at him with a surprising amount of power, and a sword flew past me and almost cuts off my head, only dust and garments remain.
Fuck fuck fuck, there's nothing left of him, I can't let it get any closer, Systom, Bull Headed, Agility now!
[Note. Agility 7 + 6 = 13]
-4
My shots became more accurate.
-3
My shots became deadlier.
-5
But I still don't have time to kill it before I'm within its fire radius, it was too late.
The colored fire covered me, I could feel my guns disappear from my hands and my clothes burned off my body, this was it, I'm dead. I have accepted my death, but I could still feel the cold air in the room, hear the voices of Bartellophis and Hollie behind me.
I quickly opened my eyes and looked over me for fatal injuries, but I find none, or any clothes. What the fuck! Why am I naked? I tried to figure out what was happening, but that's when I remembered that there was a demon in front of me and I needed to do something about it now.
I picked up my hand and used my Inventory Skill, I had packed it with ammo, an extra pair of clothes and guns, and I summoned the extra gun to my hand and fired at the demon again.
-5
+31 xp
The shot went straight through the Flamer's head and it fell to the ground as it disappeared in blue fire. Damn, that was close. I looked down and, yep, I'm naked, but I can't think of a reason for why, I should have read more about demon lore, because the only explanation I have is Tzeentch is a little shit.
I looked around to see what the situation looks like, there were no more demons, and there were only two other people in the room, Bartellophis and Hollie, they were…
I looked at a very confused and very naked Hollie holding Bartellophis's head screaming profanities about losing his body. It looks like the fire that hit us only burned inorganic material and Hollie's hug protected Bartellophis from being just a brain with eyes on the ground, if not even that.
Hollies looked at me and then at herself before looking at me and saying, "No thanks, my bum is too cold for sex".
"That's not what's happening here," I and Bartellophis shouted at the same time.
Ok, that was fun, when I was planning this chapter, this song was quite popular as a meme, so I put them in here.
Flamer is a demon of tzeentch that has fire with rendom effect, David who has played total war warhammer 3 knows that they exist and that they shoot fire, but doesn't know much av their lore.
This story has over a hundred Followers as I write this, so to celebrate I'll do a chapter of a new story idea I've had, if it gets enough Followers and Favorites I will continue with that story, so Follow me if you want to know when they come out. Huh, I self-promote myself, of course not, never.