It wasn't a specifically Christmas-related activity, but the twins couldn't have their friend travel all the way to their Bay Area hometown and not give her a chance to see the big city nearby. After an early breakfast the trio took public transit out of Piedmont through surrounding Oakland and into gleaming San Francisco. Dipper had put his intense planning skills to good use and had set up a non-stop itinerary that would let them efficiently get the most out of their day trip. It was crammed with sights to see, photo opportunities galore, and a few side trips to some special odds and ends rarely mentioned in the tourist guides. Wendy managed to lose track of how many selfies she had sent Tambry during the whirlwind tour before it was even noon.
When the jam-packed tour came to an end, the lanky redhead found herself wide awake thanks to the pure exhilaration still flooding her system. The twins of course had just as much fun as she had, but they simply couldn't match her tough stamina, and that was how the redhead ended up being drafted into pillow duty on the long bus ride back while Mabel was trying to teach her some carols.
"...Feliz Navidad! Feliz Navidad! Feliz Navidad, prospero ano y felicidad!" While the little brunette sang loudly and proudly, she motioned for her bemused friend to join her as they reached the chorus "I wanna wish you a merry Christmas! I wanna wish you a merry Christmas! I wanna wish you a merry Christmas from the bottom of my heaaarrrrrt! I wanna-"
"Whoa, slow down." Wendy begged. "Can't you start me with something easier?"
"If you can master a bilingual carol, then you can handle all the rest with no problem!" Her little teacher grinned.
"I'm pretty sure that's not happening anytime soon. I already struggle pretty stupid badly in my Spanish classes. Can't we do….I dunno, 'Silver Bells,' or something? That's one of the big ones, isn't it?" She felt a weight suddenly drop ontp her side. She turned to the skinny thirteen-year-old boy now slouching against her. "Dipper? Hey, Dipper?"
Unlike the last two times, he didn't snap back up with a start. His eyelids remained crashed shut as he dozed on her shoulder. The redhead sighed in mock-annoyance. Mabel giggled at her exhausted sibling.
"Aw, he's allllll tuckered out." She teasingly cooed, Her mouth then stretched open wide as a whopping yawn forced its way out of her.
"Tuckered out? Man, more like out cold." Wendy remarked. Working carefully, she first maneuvered her friend so his limp body wouldn't slide off her. She then plucked her former hat from off his head and made an improvised pillow by wedging it between him and her shoulder.
"We can work more on your caroling later." Mabel thoughtfully decided for the sake of her slumbering twin.
"Sounds good." After making sure that the napping Dipper was securely in place, Wendy propped her legs up on the empty seat in front of her. "So what else is going on tonight?"
"Dad's making chili for dinner." The younger girl rubbed her eyes. "But that's about it."
"Christmas chili?" The older teen was only joking, but her friend folded her arms and huffed indignantly.
"We only got to do try that one year when he let me make it with him. But no one else liked the red and green frosting mixed in." She complained. "They couldn't appreciate the spicy-sweet taste."
"Maybe when he's not looking tonight, you can try and slip some in. Any idea yet what we're doing tomorrow?"
Mabel brightened up in a flash."Oh! That's when the tree's finally going up! It's not a complete Christmas if you don't have the tree up! We'll bring Shaggy out of the basement first thing in the morning, and then we'll string on the lights, throw on the tinsel, and then we'll hang as many ornaments-"
"Shaggy? Who's Shaggy?" Wendy managed to wedge a word in. Mabel tittered.
"It's our plastic tree." Noting her friend's confusion, she explained the nickname. "It kind of sheds a lot."
"What the heck? Is it like, made out of hair or something?"
"Noooo. We've just had it forever, so a bunch of its needles always fall off it every year when we bring it up. Mom always gets alllll kinds of stressed about it."
"Oh boy." Wendy rolled her eyes.
"It's actually kind of like a kooky family tradition now. The tree sheds a little more, Mom freaks how it's getting too old, she and Dad agree to try and get a new tree the next year, but then we put it back downstairs after New Years, forget all about it, next holiday season rolls around and thennnn….out comes Shaggy again!" A look of dismay swept the glee off her rosy-cheeked face as something suddenly occurred to her. "Oh, no!"
"What? You okay?"
"No! This is supposed to be your best first Christmas ever! But it can't be the best if we do it with a tree that's balding!" Mabel began furiously brainstorming. "It's okay, we can definitely fix this. We can get a new one first thing tomorrow morning. Or maybe we can go buy one after dinner. There's still going to be plenty of stores open, one of them's gotta have plastic trees, right? Or maybe even before we get home we can try to…."
"Mabes, Mabes, Mabes…." Wendy chuckled. "Chill, okay? If it wasn't for you guys, I'd be trying to spear fish in a half-frozen stream right now. I think you're doing pretty awesome so far with this Christmas thing."
"You really mean it?" Mabel chirped hopefully.
"Totally. You'll figure this thing out just fine."
"Thanks." It was an enormous relief for the little brunette, and she leaned in for a grateful squeeze. After a full thirty seconds passed, Wendy just assumed the notoriously huggy girl was just dragging out a moment like usual. But after a full minute, she checked and finally noticed that Mabel's eyes had sunk completely shut.
"Well, I guess I did just tell you to relax…." She admitted. A sharp turn came, and she quickly draped an arm each around the dozing siblings to brace them in place. With nothing else to do beside anchor her friends and keep an eye out for their stop, Wendy started to do some thinking.
"...Okay, out you go!"
The nightie-clad teen opened the sliding door for her pet to trundle out into the back yard. Mabel made sure to avert her eyes so Waddles could have some privacy.
"This is what's going to keep happening if you keep drinking your whole water dish right before bed." She reminded him. "You'll just get another fat bladder that can't wait until morning, and then-"
Something popped up over the fence and landed with both a rustle and thump. Before Mabel could react, a shadowy figure hopped into the yard after it. Waddles was immediately on the case, and he raced off with an excited squeal.
"Yeah, get him!" She cheered, but then immediately remembered that she had never taught her pet to attack on command. Or how to attack anyone at all, period. "Oh no! Hold on Waddles, reinforcements are coming!"
The little animal meanwhile raced over to the started intruder and immediately started aggressively rubbing up against her like a chubby pink cat. She tripped and went went sprawling onto her stomach, leaving her exposed for a barrage of piggy snuffles and licks.
"Ackpth! No! No! Bad pig! Stoppit!" Wendy sputtered until she could push him away. She wiped furiously at her mouth with the back of her hand. "Sick!"
"Okay stranger, what's the-" Mabel already had her grappling hook out at the ready. But when she saw it was her only her friend she immediately relaxed, as if none of this could possibly be any more normal. "Oh! Hey there, Wendy!"
At first older teen just stared wordlessly. She was literally unable to believe her luck. Caught twice in as many nights?
"Do twins have to do like, everything in pairs?" She exclaimed in disbelief.
"Oooh! You mean like you and Dipper's hunting thingy last night?" During the bus ride into the city, Mabel had been regaled in detail with the tale of her twin and friend's shenanigans the night before. She began bouncing on her toes in joyful anticipation. "Wooooo! Now it's Mabel's turn for a surprise midnight adventure!"
"More like surprise midnight spoiler." Wendy cracked awkwardly.
"Huh? What do you mean? What is this biz, anyway?" Mabel got a look the teen's delivery. When she realized it was a small evergreen tree, her eyes lit up the night like two stars. "Whoa! Is that a….a…."
The little teen clapped her hands tightly over her mouth with muffled squeal. "Omigosh! You….you…."
"Well, you said your tree was getting crazy old. Besides, with all the junk you've been doing for me while I've been here, I thought I might return at least one favor." Wendy explained bluntly. "You weren't supposed to find out until tomorrow morning with everyone else, though…..but….um…"
She shrugged. "Surprise?"
"Wow! Oh, WOW! WOW! Oh wow, oh wow, wow! Wendy, you...you got us a real live Christmas treeeeee!" Mabel clapped her cheeks and broke out into a delighted dance.
"Glad you like it." The older teen grinned. "Think your folks will like it too?"
"What? Yes! A million times yes! Of course they're gonna love it!" Mabel bubbled back. "This is seriously the best most thoughtful thing ever!"
This was all music to Wendy's ears. After all the horrible awkwardness of the past few days, it looked like she was finally on the road to getting into some good graces. At least that's the way it looked until Mabel dropped the fateful question.
"How'd you even get this? Where'd you find a lot that was open this late?"
"...A what?" Wendy had no idea what she was talking about.
"The tree lot! The one you bought the tree at!" The young girl pranced about as her imagination raced. "Oooh! Oooh, oooh, ooohh! Is it like, some super secret mobile tree lot that moves around the city late at night? Did you have to track it down? Did they need a password for you to get in? Did you use some secret lumberjack tree code to get a discount?"
"Wait, wait, hang on. You're actually supposed to buy these?" All Wendy knew was that around Christmas people went out and "got" trees. She literally couldn't wrap her head around the concept of actually shelling out money for one. All her life, if you wanted a tree you just took an axe or a saw, walked twenty feet out of the house and got right to chopping. Both girls were now shooting each other puzzled looks.
"Well…..yeah." Mabel finally noticed the familiar hatchet tucked in the back of the lumberjill's belt. Wendy wordlessly glanced at her successful haul, and finally it clicked. She would have started cursing like a sailor right then and there had not her young friend been standing no more than three feet away. Instead she vented her dismay with an epic groan of despair.
"Oooohhhh, man."
"So…..you didn't buy it?" The little brunette innocently checked. The girl took a closer look at the tree and answered her own question when she saw all the fresh hack marks at the bottom of the trunk.
"No, I found it near the edge of someone's yard. About like, three blocks that way." Wendy pointed. "I just thought that...wait, so there's definitely like, no public trees or anything like that around here?"
"Uh, for Christmas? Not that I know of." Mabel answered, and Wendy's face fell.
"Ooooohhhh crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap…"
"What's wrong?" The smaller teen followed along while the older girl started to frantically pace around.
"...Crap, crap, crap. We need need to find a dumpster. or something. Like, now." Wendy hastily decided.
"Wait! So this isn't going to be our tree?" Mabel sounded deeply disappointed. "Why not? It's going to be amazing holiday surprise for the rest of the family! They'll all wake up, come downstairs and see it standing there in the metal stand thingy, all real and fresh and beautiful and one million percent ready for some serious decorating!"
"Are we going to decorate it before or after your mom flips out?" Wendy asked. Mabel immediately stopped and grimaced. She of course knew that her parent and friend weren't exactly getting along well, to say the very least.
"Ummmm….she's….uh….she's still just getting used to you. That's all." The forever-positive little brunette generously suggested. "And your present here should help smooth things over a little!"
"Pffft! She's still just barely putting up with me." Wendy tugged anxiously at her scarlet locks. "And now she's going to take one look at the tree, put two and two together and….gah!"
She hurled her arms up into the air with frustration. The teen was now in rare anxious form. It wasn't as if anyone could blame her, though. Literally the last thing she wanted to do was inject a wave of fresh tension into the Pines home. However, Mabel Pines was not going to stand idly by and watch her friend freak out over her perfectly good intentions.
"Wait! Just hold the phone here, Wen-Wen!" Mabel tugged on her shirt. "It's going to be okay! We can make this work!"
"Yeah, just as long as we can find a place to hide the evidence." Wendy pessimistically shot back.
"Oh pfffft! We can totally keep the tree! And we can still make you look good too! It's not impossible. It won't even be that hard! Mom and Dad just….. don't have to know the full story." Mabel mischievously suggested.
Wendy stopped and stared. When she realized where the other girl was getting at, she soon cracked a hopeful grin.
"I thought you were all about telling the truth." The redhead wryly observed.
"I can make little exceptions now and then." Mabel was more than happy to confess. "It's like Dipper says; it's fine as long as it's for the greater good."
"That's some pretty noble junk there, Mabes."
"Thanks! But also….doing things more in the Wendy Way is also usually much more fun." She hugged her pig while she made her gleeful confession. Wendy broke out with a full-fledged cackle as she tousled her friend's hair.
"Okay, now that's what I'm talkin' about."
Mrs. Pines received a sizable surprise the very next morning when went to go check what the weather was like outside.
"Uhhhhh….honey?" She immediately called for her husband. "Could you come here? Please?"
"Yeah?" he sauntered out from the kitchen with steaming mug of coffee in hand.
"Do you know anything about this?" She pointed to the neatly tied up tree sitting right there on their front step.
"Huh…..can't say that I do." He replied with a baffled shrug.
The kids followed out to see what all the hubbub was about. Still spooning down a bowl of cereal, Wendy glanced outside and grinned.
"Sweet! Right on time."
"What? Wait, you did this, Wendy?" Mr. Pines asked.
"Uh-huh. Surprise." She casually announced before she took another bite of her breakfast.
"Whoa. Wendy, you got us a-" Dipper was loudly interrupted by his sister.
"OMIGOSH!" Mabel gasped before launching into a convincing fit of joy. "A tree! A REAL tree!" She bounced about for a few moments before she started petting its needle-covered branches. "The realest tree ever!"
"Yeah. I mean, that's a major part of the whole Christmas thing, right?" The redhead asked innocently. "You go get a tree and decorate it?"
"Oh my." Mr. Pines was deeply touched by their guest's generosity. "I don't know what to say."
His wife did. After all, if there was one thing her kids had made clear, it was that their friend from up north came from a long line of rough-and-tumble lumberjacks. And since a lumberjack's daughter just made a tree show up on her front step, immediate suspicion seemed like a more than perfectly reasonable response.
"So, Wendy….where exactly did you get this from?" She was quick to inquire.
"Ordered it online. It was pretty easy. And cheap, too." The teen coolly explained.
"Online? Okay….so….who exactly did you order it from?" She kept up the gentle interrogation.
"Oh, you can give 'em a call if you like. It's totally legit." Wendy nodded to the tree, and Mrs. Pines noticed a piece of paper attached to one of the branches. While she distractedly fished it out, Mabel took out her phone speedily fired off a text.
"Tree-Cycle?" The woman read the brightly colored label. It came complete with phone number, corporate email, and a smiling, sunglasses-wearing evergreen mascot that flashed a friendly thumbs up with a branchy hand. She looked back to the grinning ginger teen and decided to take out her phone and give a call right then and there.
"Lyn? What are you-".
"Shhh." She hushed her husband as it rang.
At this point Dipper's intuition told him something was definitely going on. He passed his sister and friend an inquisitive glance and the two flashed back sneaky smiles.
"Hello, welcome to Tree-Cycle. How can I help you?" Someone answered on the other end after the third ring.
"Hi there. My name is Lynda Pines, and I'm calling because I-"
"Oh, Mrs. Pines! Good morning!" She was cheerily greeted. "Did your tree arrive yet? We had your family down for overnight shipping and early-morning drop-off."
"Um," She honestly wasn't expecting this to be a real operation, much less one that appeared to be so professionally managed. "Well, yes it did-"
"Great! Just to make sure, could you please give us the confirmation number on your tree?"
"Uuuuhhhhhh…." She looked blankly at the paper until her daughter helpfully turned it around to reveal a number on the back. "It's, um...hold on….one three one three one five-"
"Thank you! It sounds like you're all set!" He happily confirmed. "Can I help you with anything else this morning?"
"Uh…." She paused and put the customer service representative on speakerphone so her husband could listen in. "This is all….uh, pretty new to me, to be honest. Would you mind telling me who you people are, exactly?"
"Not at all! We're Tree-cycle. We're like, the number one reused tree nonprofit in the Pacific Northwest. We take trees of all shapes and sizes that have fallen down in storms and accidents for donation and affordable resell."
"Oh….uh, okay then. Sounds like a good cause, actually. Um….thanks you for-"
"Would you like to know even more about our seasonal recycled Christmas tree program? It sounds like you're interested!"
"No thank you, I just-" But she didn't even get a chance to politely refuse when cheery elevator-style music began playing, followed shortly by a peppy-sounding woman.
"Hello there! Holiday Operations Department, how may I help you?"
Mrs. Pines hastily hung up. Wendy and Mabel shared a discreet fist bump before the woman cleared her throat and turned to the redheaded teen.
"Well then. Uh, thank you for the…..the very nice surprise, Wendy." She politely bade her guest. While the twins chomped down hard on their lips to keep from laughing, Wendy kept up the convincing act.
"Oh, don't mention it." She shot her partner-in-crime a fat smile. "Trust me, it was no problem at all…"
Back up north in the small town of Gravity Falls, the entire staff of "Tree-Cycle" waited for word from Piedmont.
"Anything yet?" Soos nervously drummed his fingers on his little keyboard. His accomplice nudged his mug of cocoa across the coffee table closer towards him.
"Just relax. It's only been a couple minutes." Melody's phone suddenly chimed to announce an incoming text from Mabel. She read the message, then broke out into a triumphant grin as she showed it off. "Looks like they're in the clear!"
Soos was overwhelmed with relief. Soon his girlfriend was bent over laughing as he lumbered around his living room and created a one-man victory party. After celebrating like this for nearly an entire minute straight, he finally stopped to catch his breath and top off the spectacle celebration with a final jubilant fist pump.
"Nailed it."