The summer before he turned thirteen, Katsuki could feel something inside him was changing.

An awareness deep inside was growing, and he constantly felt there was some forbidden knowledge hanging around the peripheral of his thoughts. Whatever it was he was on the cusp of realizing, it made him frustrated. Spending time with his groupies made his skin itch. His mother's loud voice grated on his ears, and his father's concerned glances grated on his nerves.

Katsuki only found his grandmother's presence tolerable, in those days, and he biked to her house more often than not.

"It's because you're going through puberty," his grandmother told him when he explained his problem. "Your mother was the same. As long as it doesn't interfere with your school performance, you'll be fine."

The days he didn't go to his grandmother's, he went to the library downtown. It was never crowded, and the lack of people and noise was like a balm on his mind. For hours, he could sit inside and study or read with no one bothering him. Sometimes, he sat by the window on the third floor and watched people below in the courtyard, or picked a corner in the shadows and watched the people inside.

He noticed The Boy because he always seemed to be there.

The Boy was thin and wore a bomber jacket that was at least three sizes too big. His hair was black as pitch. A large, black eye patch covered his left eye, and he always wore a face mask. He always sat at the same table, out of the way from everyone else. He didn't speak to anyone, always quietly reading until just five minutes before the library closed. Never did The Boy seem to take any books home with him, even if he hadn't finished the one he was reading. He simply returned it to the shelf and picked up where he left off the next time. Unless, of course, someone else borrowed it in the interim.

Summer vacation had started the day before, and Katsuki woke up early as usual. After eating breakfast with his parents, he biked downtown, so he could be at the library right as it was opening. He had a suspicion he wanted to confirm.

When he saw The Boy patiently sitting by the library's doors, knees tucked into his chest, Katsuki felt a little triumphant to be proven right. He locked his bike to the rack up front and walked to the doors to wait as well. The Boy said nothing to him.

Katsuki leaned against the wall and played with his phone. In the corner of his eye, he saw The Boy sneaking glances at him. It was a few minutes more before a librarian opened the door from the inside. She smiled ruefully at The Boy as he jumped up and rushed inside. When she noticed Katsuki, she was visibly surprised.

"Good morning," she said. "I haven't seen you here this early before."

Katsuki shrugged.

"I'm on break. I wanted to get a head start on my summer homework."

"How diligent." She held open the door for him.

Inside, The Boy was by the front desk, taking a donut and cup of coffee from a library page. Katuski's eyes slid over to the sign banning food and drink. The page at least had the decency to blush at Katsuki's pointed stare; The Boy simply wandered off amongst the shelves with his treat. Whatever. It wasn't Katsuki's library; if the people who worked there were the ones providing the contraband, who was he to say anything? Besides, The Boy looked like he could use all the food he could get.

Settling at his favorite table, Katsuki pulled out his reading assignment (he wasn't lying about wanting to get ahead.) After a few minutes, The Boy emerged from the shelves, an armful of books cradled close to his chest. He sat at his usual table (which was, coincidentally, in direct sight of Katsuki's) and set the books down in a neat pile.

When lunch time rolled around, Katsuki packed up his schoolwork and went to his grandmother's. The Boy remained, about halfway through his pile.

The next day, Katsuki was once more standing in front of the library waiting for it to open. The Boy, however, wasn't. When the librarian opened the door, she took one look at Katsuki's face, and smiled gently.

"Don't worry. He'll be here tomorrow."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Don't assume things." Katsuki brushed past her and claimed his table, sitting his things down loud enough to echo.

After a few minutes, the library page came by with a strawberry glazed donut.

"Those are his favorite," they whispered.

Katsuki ignored them and only ate the donut once they were out of sight. It was delicious.

The third day Katsuki biked to the library, The Boy was back. He seemed pale, a dark circle like a bruise beneath his eye. The gray of his iris was dull when he looked at Katsuki, but he nodded a little.

"Good morning," he said, quiet, nearly a whisper and hesitant, as if he didn't think his greeting would be welcome.

"Mornin'" Katsuki mumbled back. It was next to nothing, barely a word, but it seemed to bring a little light back into the gray. Katsuki's hands were sweaty as they waited in silence.

The librarian opened the door, and she smiled but said nothing, simply holding the door open wide. There were two donuts waiting with the page at the front desk. As The Boy roamed the shelves, Katsuki decided he wanted to sit somewhere new that day; he plopped down at the table The Boy usually occupied, for no other reason than that it was more isolated than the other tables. It would be more quiet there and allow him to better concentrate on his work.

The Boy didn't blink an eye when he saw Katsuki at his table (or maybe he did, beneath his patch) and took the seat across from him. Katsuki glanced at the pile of books, but he didn't recognize most of the titles. He read little outside of school assignments, so that wasn't surprising.

But most people had at least heard of Jurassic Park.

"Have you seen the movie?" He asked, pointing at the book when The Boy seemed confused.

"No," he said. "I didn't know there was one."

"You should watch it. After you're done with the book, I mean."

"I would like to." The Boy sounded wistful to Katsuki's ears, though it was a little hard to tell with the mask.

They passed the rest of the time without exchanging words until it was lunchtime again and Katsuki needed to head to his grandmother's.

"Have a good afternoon," The Boy whispered, not looking up from his book. He hadn't turned the page in a while (since Katsuki started packing his things), but Katsuki didn't mention it.

"You too."

On his way home from his grandmother's that evening, Katsuki stopped at a bookshop. Luckily, they had a copy of Jurassic Park in stock.

For a few days, Katsuki settled into a bit of a routine; an early morning bike ride to the library, a brief exchange of words with The Boy throughout the day, lunch at his grandmother's, afternoon training, dinner at home, and a couple chapters of Jurassic Park before bed.

It was calming, and Katsuki felt a bit of the irritation and frustration dissipate. He almost had an answer to the question he had yet to ask, and he was certain The Boy was the key.

It was three days before summer vacation ended that he finally understood.

The day started like normal, except that Katsuki arrived at the library before The Boy for once. He was expecting The Boy not to show up, but then the rumbling of a motorcycle echoed across the library's courtyard. Katsuki watched the motorcycle jump the curb to pull up near the door.

The Boy slid off the back of the bike, peeling off his helmet and setting it on the seat. He saw Katsuki and waved, but before he could walk forward, the driver suddenly grabbed his wrist. The man wasn't wearing a helmet, and he grinned at Katsuki with too many teeth and narrowed, turquoise eyes. Dark, old scars stretched across his skin like patchwork. They spoke for a second in hushed tones Katsuki couldn't hear.

Then, just as suddenly as he arrived, the man was gone.

The Boy sat by the door as usual. He rubbed his wrist, and passed the sleeve of his jacket, Katsuki thought he saw the hint of bruises.

Who wears a jacket in the summer, anyway?

"Who was that?" Katsuki asked.

"...My brother." The Boy didn't offer any more information. Katsuki didn't press him for more.

The librarian opened the door. The page gave them their donuts. Katsuki sat at their usual table while the boy strolled through the shelves. Everything was normal (but it didn't feel like it.)

After a few minutes, The Boy emerged from the shelves, but he wasn't carrying any books. He walked up to the desk and asked the librarian a question. She frowned and typed something into her computer. Whatever she found made The Boy's shoulders droop. He sat at the table empty-handed.

"... No books today?"

The Boy shook his head.

"The one I really wanted to read has all the copies checked out."

"Which one?"

" Jurassic Park."

"I thought you finished it already." Katsuki saw him grab it every day, in between all the other books he grabbed. He'd assumed The Boy was just rereading it.

"I was saving the ending."

"Oh." Katsuki dug into his backpack. "You can just borrow mine, I guess."

Even though he only read it at home, Katsuki had taken to carrying the book around with him. He just liked having it, for some reason.

The Boy gazed at him like Katsuki had performed a miracle. It made him lightheaded, and he shoved the book at The Boy just to break the overwhelming eye contact. With feather light touches, The Boy traced the cover.

"You haven't finished it, either," he said, pointing to the bookmark. Katsuki shrugged.

"I kind of know what happens, cause of the movie, even though they changed a lot. I can wait to finish it after you're done."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

After a few minutes of silence, Katsuki asked what he wanted to know for a while.

"What's your name, by the way? I'm Bakugou. Katsuki Bakugou."

The Boy froze for a second, then mumbled out something so fast Katsuki could barely hear it. There was a sound like a "to" and a "r", maybe?

"Huh? DId you say 'Toru?'"

The Boy- Toru just nodded. Katsuki didn't point out the lack of a surname. Instead, he sent a text to his grandmother, asking if he could bring a friend to lunch. She texted her approval quickly, and Katsuki tucked his phone away, thinking that was it.

He didn't see her message letting him know she was shopping and wanted to meet him at the library to walk back together.

Lunch time approached, and Katsuki began to pack his things. Toru noticed, setting down the book; he only had a few pages left.

"Did you-"

"Would you-"

They'd started speaking at the same time. Toru motioned for him to go first. Katsuki licked his lips.

"Did you want to come over to have lunch? My grandmother always makes too much food. You could finish reading there, then we could watch the movie. She only has it on VHS, though."

Toru's eye was wide and bright. He started to nod, but stopped himself, as if remembering something. He gripped the sleeve of his jacket.

"I… I can't… My brother wouldn't know where I was, and he wouldn't be able to get a hold of me."

"You don't have a cellphone?"

Toru shook his head.

"Do you know your brother's number? You could use my phone to call him."

"I don't… I… can't…" He wilted, like a flower left too long in the heat. "I'm sorry."

Katsuki ignored the sting of disappointment piercing through him.

"Alright. It's not a big deal, so there's no need to apologize." He shoved his bag onto his shoulder. Toru tried handing the book back, but Katsuki shook his head. "You can keep it till tomorrow. See you later."

Katsuki all but ran out, digging through his pockets to find his phone. He needed to text his grandmother to let her know plans had changed, but he couldn't find it. He must've shoved it in his bag.

"Shit." He said, stopping to search.

"Bakugou!" Toru suddenly called his name.

Katsuki turned, breath cut short by how close the other boy was as Toru reached for his wrist.

Toru had pulled his mask down, and his eye shined with determination. He clutched Katsuki's book close to his chest, and after a deep breath, closed the small gap between them.

Toru kissed him. Just on the cheek, a quick brush of lips that nevertheless had Katsuki's head spinning and his heart racing. His hand automatically rose to touch the spot, as if he'd be able to feel a mark.

"Was that okay?" Toru whispered. His face was red, a soft color that flattered him. Without the mask, Katsuki could see just how pretty he was.

Oh.

Katsuki knew, then.

"I-"

"KATSUKI!" His grandmother yelled, her voice a knife cutting across the courtyard. Her eyes were wide as she looked around, but no one else was near. She clenched a grocery bag in her fist. "Come here! NOW!"

Katsuki had never heard her sound so angry.

"You should go." Katsuki whispered.

Toru hesitated.

"But-"

"It's alright. I'll see you tomorrow."

Finally, Toru nodded and ran.

Katsuki unlocked his bike and walked it over to his grandmother. He didn't understand what had upset her, but her hands trembled as she gripped his shoulder. Her lips pressed so thin they vanished in her face, but she didn't speak, simply pushing Katsuki forward at a furious pace. They didn't go back to her home, like he'd expected. Instead, they took the bus all the way back to Katsuki's house, her nails pressed into his shoulder the whole way.

Once they arrived, she barely let him set his bike aside before she shoved him past the entryway.

"What's going on?" His mom asked, hearing them enter. "What are you doing back here so early?"

As soon as the door was closed, his grandmother smacked him across the face. Her wedding ring bit into his skin, and he could taste blood in his mouth, having bit his tongue at the impact. He reached up a hand automatically to feel for a mark. (It was the same cheek Toru had kissed.)

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" His mother screamed, a whirlwind of righteous anger as she pushed Katsuki behind her. "HOW DARE YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY SON!?"

"He was kissing a boy at the library, Mitsuki! In public! Where anyone could see!" His grandmother tried to shove past his mom, but she pushed back. "What were you thinking, Katsuki? Are you trying to throw away everything you've worked for?"

"DON'T FUCKING TALK TO HIM! I DON'T CARE IF HE WAS KISSING A HUNDRED BOYS!" His mother gripped his grandmother's hair, and pulled hard enough to undo her bun. "YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!"

"YOU'RE GOIING TO TREAT YOUR OWN MOTHER LIKE THIS?" His grandmother tore at his mom's shirt. "WE NEED TO DISCIPLINE HIM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! HE'LL NEVER BECOME A HERO IF THEY THINK HE'S A FREAK!"

"I'M NOT A FREAK!" Katsuki yelled, inserting himself between his mother and grandmother and trying to shove them apart. "I DIDN'T KISS A BOY! HE KISSED ME!"

They both fell silent. Katsuki panted, swallowing against the burn in his throat he knew meant he was on the verge of crying.

"I didn't kiss him, I swear! And… And I was going to push him away or… or punch him, but you were calling for me, Grandmother!" He clung to her shirt. "I'm not a freak! I didn't kiss him! And I didn't want him to kiss me! I promise! I'm not… I don't like boys!"

His grandmother stared at him for a long time. After a moment, she sagged in relief.

"Good. I'm sorry, Katsuki. I should have asked you before assuming." She tried placing a hand on Katsuki's head, but his mother smacked it away.

"Get out." She demanded.

"Mitsuki, you heard him. It was just a misunder-"

"I don't care." His mother pushed her. "You hit my son. You need to leave. And you'll be lucky if I ever let you near him again."

His grandmother tried to argue some more, but it was clear his mother would not change her mind. So she straightened her clothes the best she could and walked away. The groceries she'd been carrying lay abandoned in the entryway.

Once she was gone, his mother wrapped Katsuki up in a hug, and buried her face in his shoulder. He could feel the warmth of her tears against his neck.

"I'm so sorry, Katsuki! If I knew she would hurt you, I never would've let you near her. And she's wrong! You're not a freak! Just because you like bo-"

"I don't!" Katsuki shoved his mother away, a feeling like a bird trying to escape a cage rising in his chest.

"Katuski, it's okay. You don't need to lie-"

"I'm not lying! I don't like boys! I'm not… I'm not…" He started crying.

"Shh, it's alright." His mother pulled him back in a hug.

"I'm not a freak."

"Of course not, Honey. I'm sorry. I believe you, okay?"

"Promise?"

"I promise."

When his dad came home, he simply sat on the edge of Katsuki's bed, and placed a hand on his head.

"I love you, KitKat," he said, using Katsuki's old nickname. "No matter what, you will always be my son, and I am so proud of you."

His dad didn't say anything about Katsuki liking boys or not liking boys, and it was such a relief all he could do was sob into his pillow. His dad didn't say anything about that either, but he stayed until Katsuki fell asleep.

He didn't go to the library the next day, or the next, or the next.

And then it was time to go back to school.

School was easy, and a relief. He knew how to act there, how to keep anyone from ever suspecting there was anything… different or… wrong about him.

Deku, with his big, bright green eyes and dumb, tiny freckles sprinkled across his face, became an easy target, because it was clear Deku was a freak, since he was Quirkless. Because Katsuki wasn't a freak, because he was exceptional and strong, it was his duty to put Deku in his place.

In comparison, home was hard; his parents treated him like he was one wrong step from breaking. So Katsuki did what he could to prove just how unbreakable he was. He argued. He yelled. He called his mom a hag and his dad weak. He brushed off their attempts at comfort.

Eventually, they backed off.

For months, Katsuki didn't see his grandmother, and his parents likely wouldn't have ever let her see him again if he didn't ask for her. Katsuki still loved his grandmother, and he missed her; she was the only person who understood his insatiable need to be Number One.

It was years before his parents let him visit her without supervision.

And his mother never forgave her. Their relationship was broken in a way Katsuki didn't know how to fix, and he saw how it ate at them both. He couldn't help feeling responsible.

Sometimes, he dreamed of pretty boys with gray eyes, and woke up feeling sick to his stomach.

Things would have been better if he never met Toru.

Katsuki was determined never to see him again, but he decided if he did, the first thing he would do was punch him square in the jaw.

(Maybe then the dreams would stop.)