Here is the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. I am nervous as these next few chapters when I was writing I poured my heart into them, and they are very emotional. Therefore, I am anxious to hear everyone's opinion after reading this chapter. Thank you to everyone who continues to read and comment on this story, it means so much to me. I don't own Divergent and any military-related mistakes are mine. Happy Reading!

Chapter 29 Strays

The drive back to the base is awkward. Tobias is silent, knocking his fingers against the steering wheel in a rhythm that can't be heard. He is absorbed in his own world, his mind not focused on reality, but on somewhere far away in the past. I struggle to maintain my calmness as I fight off the tears, I bite my bottom lip to squelch the wetness burning my eyes painfully. As the truck stops at the base gate, his eyes catch mine, for the first time since we started driving, and I can see the sorrow behind them. I try to convey to him a message through my eyes, the message of; if he is feeling so sorry or sad, then why is he separating us? Why did he send mixed signals to me today by taking me on a date? Why is he acting this way?

He takes a deep, steady breath, his sad eyes glance at me, as I whisper on the verge of tears, "Are you sending me away because you are breaking up with me?" He stays silent as we pull away from the gate. Then suddenly, his voice breaks the quiet as we approach the driveway, "No, we aren't breaking up. I would never break up with you. I lo-" He stops short as he shakes his head as he continues, "I just need time to process everything that I have been through. I need to make sure you are in a safe place, somewhere out of trouble, somewhere Drew can't get to you while I do that."

"Tobias, we can figure everything that happened out together. We can call a counselor or something, someone, to help you with processing everything you have been through. I'm worried about you, you aren't acting like yourself, let me help you."

He sighs, "Fine, I can't let Peter almost killing me control me, it is all I keep thinking about, I have been close to death several times in my life, but somehow, this time, it was different. Maybe it was because it wasn't only my life that was on the line, either way, I need to figure out a way to overcome this."

"Let me help," I whisper as his eyes meet mine, as he shakes his head, "I'm sorry, but I can't. I need to figure this out for myself. If not only for myself then for you too."

"How are you going to figure it out for yourself, Tobias? You are struggling to cope with everything that happened."

Tobias shrugs his shoulders as he says, "As soon as we make it into the house, I promise, I will call someone, and make an appointment to talk with someone about how I am feeling."

"What about everything you said, about it making you look weak?"

"Screw what anyone thinks." He murmurs as he stares at the house.

My eyes catch the innocent looking house, the one with the porch swing, the one where my life was turned upside down. My belly fills with a million butterflies. Butterflies that drop like lead into my stomach as the realization hits me: this is the first time I'm stepping foot back inside the house again. I hope I'm strong enough. I take a shallow breath and take a step as my mind struggles with different notions. The last time I was in here: all hell broke loose. A shiver goes down my spine as my mind copes with the idea: I could have lost two very important people in my life. I take another small step, my eyes burn as my mind grapples with the concept; I ended a human life instead of saving it. The rational side of my brain quarrels: Peter was a horrible person. I was trying to save Tobias and myself when I pulled the trigger. The irrational side of my brain argues: Maybe there was another way? Maybe a judge won't see it as self-defense? Chills creep down my spine at the thought of prison. I would never survive.

A car pulls up to the front of the house before my mind can sink any further into the dark hole that exists or my body go any further. Two women exit the car, the two women that questioned Tobias and I. My heart begins to beat rapidly in my chest as I grab a hold of Tobias's hand for comfort. He squeezes my fingers as he stands next to me as he whispers, "Are you okay? You are shaking." I don't answer him.

He wraps an arm around me securely. The contact is like a soothing balm to my soul. We stay standing where we are, only a few feet from the truck, waiting for the two women. They approach us, smiles on their lips. "Tris and Captain Eaton, how nice to see you again." One of the women says as I stare past them towards the house, my heart beating out of my chest, wondering if this is the end of me. Wondering if they are coming to drag me to jail.

"My partner and I came to inform, you both, the judge today ruled on the incident here, and it has been ruled as self-defense in the case of you shooting Peter, Tris. Your brother's girlfriend, Cara, turned over her cellphone recording from that night to us. That evidence alone helped determine the fate of this case. Tris, you did what was necessary to survive. We also gathered the reports from the hospital, from the doctors that operated on you each time, Captain Eaton. We wanted to let you know that the case has been resolved on our end. We hope that you can find peace after everything that you have had to endure. We are working closely with the local police to find Drew. If he attempts to contact you, let someone here know."

"Thanks," Tobias says, staring impatiently at the two women. The two women leave us without another word. As I look at the house once again, I know that I should feel a sigh of relief, but I don't. All I feel is pain, guilt, and panic. The feelings only get worse; the closer I step to the house. There is still yellow caution tape, blocking the entrance to the house, designating it as a crime scene. Tobias rips the tape down as he steps inside in front of me.

I'm shaking, and I can't breath when I step through the threshold of the house. All I see is blood on the beige carpets still. The blood belonged to Tobias as the paramedics pulled him out the door, trying to save his life as I ran after him frantically. The bedroom doors still have the bullet holes from where Peter tried to shoot me and missed. Bloody handprints mangle the wall from Drew, from where he made his escape from the scene of the crime. The entrance is smeared with blood like a heavy object was dragged away from the scene. I hold little hope that Drew will ever be caught by the local police, Peter's grandfather is the commissioner of the local Police Department. Against my will, I find myself standing in the garage. My eyes are drawn to the distinctly darkened areas on the concrete. The area where Peter collapsed, where I bashed his head against the cement before I killed him. My eyes are drawn to another spot on the concrete, the place where Caleb was almost murdered, thanks to Peter's hand, and where Tobias almost died. The holes in the wall, the colors on the carpeting bring the memories fresh into the forefront of my mind, and the tears that I had been holding in, begin to fall from my eyes. Hands wrap around my waist as Tobias pulls me from the garage, whispering, "Come with me. Don't look in there or anywhere in this place for that matter. Go outside or into the kitchen where there is no blood or any bullet holes."

"I can't Tobias, I can't. Everywhere, I look; I see Peter and hear Peter's voice in this place. He has taken away my safety, once again." I cry as he holds me. He kisses my head as he whispers into my hair, "This is part of the reason why I am pushing you so hard to leave, Tris. I can't watch you fall apart in this house over memories of what happened here. It is bad enough when memories of that night come back crystal clear to me, but you had to watch everything unfold first hand. The worst thing for me about that night; there wasn't a thing I could do about it to protect you from that monster. I was helpless. I have never felt so helpless in my life." I shake my head, knowing Tobias is right, knowing I need to leave here, knowing if I don't leave, this place will destroy me mentally as I ask, "If I leave to go live with Chris and Will for a bit, will you still get help as you promised?"

"I'll think about it." He whispers, "But, only because you keep asking."

"What about you? Where will you stay?"

"I'll stay with Zeke until the walls are repainted, the carpets are replaced, and maybe before that, I will get another base assignment." He answers automatically as my lip quivers and I whisper, "Fine, I will go to visit Chris and Will, but you need to promise me, that you will get the help, that you will do the work." He doesn't respond as he says sadly, squeezing my hand, "Let's go, I'll help you pack your bag, and I'll bring you to the airport. Then, I will call a counselor to make an appointment with this week."

"My suitcase is already packed." He quips an eyebrow at me as I continue, "I thought you were dead, remember. I'd planned on leaving, going to New York to spend time with Christina and Will, but then everything with Peter happened and finding out you were alive. You know, I never left your side while you were in the hospital for fear that a ghost would come back to haunt me. Not to mention, the house was on lockdown as a crime scene."

"Yeah, I guess. Let's get you to the airport then." He says, the agony written across his face, clear as day.

As we drive to the airport, I want to scream at him, and to tell him not to put me on a plane. I want to scream at him that we shouldn't be separated. I want to tell him to come with me; to get away from Travis Air Force Base or let me stay with him at Zeke's, to not rip my heart out of my chest by telling me goodbye. The drive to the airport is quicker than I want. Tears pool in my eyes as I think about being apart from him. The anguished expression hasn't left his face since we got back into the truck. As Tobias and I enter the airport, everything becomes real. He is letting me leave. I am leaving him, and I haven't told him; I'm in love with him, that I would do anything for him, that I love him more than I have ever loved anyone in this life. The fear that he doesn't love me enough to fight for me is near the forefront of my mind. I know he is scared to have his heart broken again, but he should want to fight for me. He should want to fight for our relationship. "One ticket to LaGuardia or JFK. It doesn't matter, whichever leaves sooner." He says as we step up to the ticket counter of United Airlines.

"We have a flight to JFK that leaves in one hour, and a flight to LaGuardia that leaves in thirty minutes, both have seats still available."

"We'll take one ticket to LaGuardia," Tobias says placing his credit card on the counter. "Actually, JFK," I say, interrupting both Tobias and the lady behind the counter.

"Okay, JFK it is then." He says eyeing me with interest.

As Tobias and I stand in the massive line for security, I'm ready to burst into tears. "Goodbye, Tris." He says sadly.

"Why, does it feel like you are saying goodbye to me?" I ask, tears starting to crest over my waterline.

"Because, you are getting ready to go through security, to board a plane, one that I'm not going on. Of course, I'm saying goodbye to you."

"Tobias, please don't do this. Don't make me leave you." I plead with him.

"You need to, Tris. We have been over this already at the house. I can't watch you break down every time that you go into that house. It will kill me mentally."

I take a deep breath and drop the bomb that I have been holding onto for weeks. "But, I love you. Don't you want me? Aren't I worth fighting for? Why are you so scared to love me, Tobias? Why are you scared to tell me that you love me? All your actions tell me that you are in love with me. Don't you love me?" I ask, frustration lacing my voice.

Pain is written all over his features as my words hit his ears. "I care about you, Tris." Tobias leans forward, his arm resting against the wall, staring intently into my eyes, he touches my chin with the tips of his fingers drawing me closer to him. Our lips almost touching. "No one understands. . ." He murmurs, his breath fanning over my lips. "They don't understand how big of an effect you have on me."

"What? Then if you feel that way, don't make me leave. I beg you."

He places his fingers over my lips as he stares into my eyes, as he says "But, there is nothing for you here. Now go. Don't make this harder than it needs to be. Because I care for you. I always will, but I need to let you go. It's what is best for you. I'm not good for you. You are free of Peter now. You are free to do whatever it is you want in your life." He kisses me gently then wipes the tears from my cheeks that won't stop flowing from my eyes with his fingers.

"Do you really believe that I am free, and letting me go is what is best for me? Do you really believe that there is nothing for me here? Do you really believe that you are not good for me?"

He remains silent, staring at the ground, seconds later, he says, "It doesn't matter what I believe!"

"Yes, it does, Tobias. If you really believe that there is nothing for me here, that you are no good for me, then maybe we have been wasting each other's time with whatever this is. If you can look me in the eye, and tell me that I'm better off without you, that you don't love me, that you can never love me, then I will get on that plane, and I will leave. I will never look back just like you want. And just for the record, you are one of the very best things that ever happened to me, ever in my life." He stays quiet, saying nothing, not looking at me. When it is my turn to go through security, I say, "Goodbye Tobias. I hope you find whatever it is that you are looking for in this life because it clearly isn't me. I hope you get the help you need." As I walk away from him, I feel my heart shatter for the one man that I have truly ever loved in my life.

Thoughts? Opinions? Please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter. Did anyone realize that they hadn't said those three special words to each other yet before reading this chapter? Did you expect Tris to do what she did at the end of the chapter? Also now that she has said all of this to Tobias, what do you think he is going to do? Do you believe he is really going to let her walk away, or do you think he is going to run after her? Next chapter will be up the weekend of June 22.