Hey readers! Here is the next chapter. Sorry, it was behind schedule for being posted. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read, review, and to those who left comments on the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter since it is on the longer side. I don't own Divergent. I only own the plot, any military-related mistakes are mine. Just a reminder I have taken some liberties in regards to the military. Happy Reading!
Chapter 23: Dial Tones
I exit the airfield area. The ugly, fat, real tears begin to fall, and I can't stop them no matter how hard I try to hold them back. My cellphone vibrates against the seat, signaling a text message. I pick up my phone while I wait for the light to turn green. My heart leaps out of my chest when I read Tobias's name on my lock screen. The message reads: Remember, I will always love you, and, if I don't ever get the chance to tell you that ever again, then know I didn't get the opportunity to, but those will be the last words I think every night before I shut my eyes. I'll call you when I can. I love you with all my heart and soul. I will come home to you.
My eyes search the sky for any sign of a plane. While my eyes examine the sky, the jet fighter Tobias usually flies zooms high above the truck. At that moment, my heart hurts in my chest. Tobias is really gone. He is on his way to a foreign country to risk his life, and that hard truth finally hits me. What if he doesn't come back alive? How would I survive life alone without him? I attempt to shake the awful thoughts from my mind.
When I return home, I lock myself inside and cry for the rest of the day. My phone vibrates with a message from an unknown number, which reads: I wish you could see the potential of what could have been. I click the message closed and delete it. It must have been a wrong number. I forget about the text, and I allow myself to wallow in the sadness of feeling like I have lost the only person who understands me and allow myself to be swallowed whole by the pain I feel. For days, I refuse to go outside, even on the nice ones. I refuse to go for a run, and the thought sends crippling pain shooting through my chest as the memories of the times Tobias and I would run together on the base flood my mind. Slowly, I attempt to establish normalcy without Tobias in the house, but it feels empty without him. The days and weeks pass by slowly without him.
One morning, while I am walking down the stairs, sitting at the bottom are Tobias's boots, which I trip over, yelling, "Tobias, you need to put your damn work boots away! How many times have I asked you?" My protests are met by silent air. Tobias isn't here to pick up his boots. I'm the one who left his boots in the middle of the floor last night. He never leaves his boots lying around the house. I sigh, walking to the kitchen to mark off another day, another night, I survived without him. It has been two long weeks since he left. The only communication I received from him was from his cellphone before he left the base. I'm going crazy wondering if he's safe or dead.
A sharp knock against the front door startles me. My heart beats rapidly in my chest. Another knock sounds through the house, followed by the doorbell. My heart hammers against my chest. Terrible thoughts fill my mind. It's some soldiers who are here to tell me Tobias is dead, to inform me I'm a widow. My biggest nightmare is coming true, a world without Tobias, one I have to live in. Every night I dream of airmen coming to the door as they did at Travis, informing me that he was missing. Each night, I fear going to sleep. Every day, I run myself into exhaustion on the treadmill, and I never answer the phone or the door for fear of bad news. The knock on the door brings my mind back to the present. A female voice yells, "Tris! Answer the damn door!" I peek out the curtains. My eyes land on Shauna's long wavy blonde hair. I snap the curtains closed, refusing to answer my the door. "Please, let me in," she pleads.
Rolling my eyes, not in the mood for company, I yell through the door, "I don't want company, go away!" I hear her huff with movement outside the door. I slide down the front of the door, the tears fill my eyes, hearing her strong voice, whispering, "Yes, you do. No one has seen you for weeks. You need to come out to socialize. What are you going to do? Are you going to hide the entire time Four is deployed? I know this is hard. Believe me, I do. I remember the first time Zeke deployed, and we were married. I was angry. He missed all the holidays, our birthdays, and our first wedding anniversary. I became a hermit for the whole year he was gone, and you know what I learned during that time? I learned the world doesn't care about you. You need to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get your ass out there."
Swinging the door open with no makeup on, hair disheveled, wearing Tobias's blue Air Force sweater and a pair of yoga pants, I ask, "What do you want?" She smiles, grabs my hand, attempting to pull me out the door, "Come with me." Standing firmly in the doorway, I reply, "No," not wanting to leave the house. She quips an eyebrow, "Tris, come with me, please, you won't regret it." I grumble, "Fine," crossing my arms over my chest, "But, give me five minutes to change and fix my hair." She smirks, "Your time starts now," tapping her foot. I run up the stairs to change. In no time, I'm back downstairs. Her eyes fall onto me; tapping her foot, she smiles, "It took you long enough. Let's go!" She pulls me out the door toward Zeke's gray truck. I eye her as she says, "We are going bowling with a group of military wives. You are coming along whether you want to or not."
Trying to contain the smile at the thought of escaping these walls and my thoughts of something horrible happening to Tobias, I answer, "Okay." Shauna guns the truck down the base road and pulls into a bowling alley parking lot. She mutters, "I have some words of advice for you. I wouldn't tell anyone your husband is deployed. If you do choose to tell anyone Four is deployed, don't tell them where he is currently in the world." My interest peaks. I ask, "Why?"
"Security for everyone-" Shauna is unable to finish her sentence. She is interrupted by a smiling woman who asks, "Shauna, who is your friend?" Motioning to me, Shauna smiles, "This is Tris." The woman sticks her hand out to me, grinning, "Nice to meet you, Tris. My name is Evelyn. So tell me a little bit about yourself while we wait for everyone else to get here. What does your husband do for work? What do you do for work?" Suddenly, I feel uncomfortable, Shauna's words flying to the forefront of my mind. My eyes move over the brunette woman with chocolate eyes in her early thirties. The woman continues, "Oh Tris, don't be shy! We are all friends here! Right, Shauna! After all, everyone will have someone they care about in the military in one aspect or another." Shauna sighs, "I suppose." Shauna rolls her eyes at me when Evelyn wraps her arms around both of us. My eyes stare at my shoes, answering, "I'm a nurse," staying on a neutral subject. She states, "Oh, how fascinating! I haven't been able to find stable work since moving to the area. Where do you work? What hospital?" I glance at Shauna, carefully continuing, " I was a nurse before I married my husband. The plan is, once we get settled at our next base, I'm going to transfer my license. I'm currently looking for some volunteer opportunities to help keep me busy since he works a lot." Evelyn eyes me suspiciously, asking, "Where were you a nurse before you came to Maryland? What's your husband's name? Do I know him?"
My eyes find Shauna's once again. She smirks at me. I cross my arms confidently. "I doubt you know my husband. He tends to keep to himself. He isn't very well known on this base. I was a nurse in California." Biting my tongue, trying to imagine the look on Evelyn's face if she found out I was married to Four, Tobias Eaton. Evelyn's cheeks turn red, grinning like a schoolgirl, as she tugs Shauna and me close to her, giggling, "Shauna, you are so lucky your husband is friends with Four. I saw Four walking around the base in a flight suit. I nearly started drooling. He looked like a delicious snack. Whoever he married is a lucky woman." Shauna giggles, darting away to another person in a car. Evelyn continues dreamily, "Have you seen Four around base lately? I think each time I see him, he gets better and better looking." I look around for Shauna, hoping she will come to save me, but she is gone, talking to someone else in the parking lot. Her eyes snap to mine, meeting them. I mouth, "Help me!" In an instant, she is standing next to me, quipping, "Evelyn, let's not scare off all the newbies! Do you know how difficult it was for me to get this one to come to this event tonight and leave the house?"
"Nope," she smiles, popping the p, glaring at me, walking away. Another woman walks over to Shauna and me, grinning, "Tris, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Evelyn. I'm sorry about her. She can be a bit overbearing and has quite the crush on Four. We aren't all like that, I promise. I heard you were looking for a volunteer experience. You were a nurse before you moved here, correct?" I nod my head. She continues, "I run a nonprofit, free clinic in town. We are always looking for volunteers to help out in the medical department to see the homeless patients in the area. Would you be interested?"
My interest peaks with the prospect of having something to occupy my free time. I ask, "What kind of things do you do at the clinic?" The woman smiles, "Mostly, we take blood pressures, blood sugars, temperatures, and gather histories on the patients who visit the clinic regularly. Sometimes we help find services for these people in need." I sigh, "I would love to help out, and it sounds like the type of thing I have been looking to do since my husband isn't around much since -" I stop mid-sentence, almost slipping saying Four's name without thinking, but I bite my tongue. The woman smiles, "We would love to have you. You don't have to make a commitment. Can you come downtown tomorrow to the soup kitchen?"
"Sure," I reply, feeling a sense of purpose in my life again when the woman smiles, "My name's Marie. I can't wait to work with you, Tris!" The rest of the night, I stay near Marie and Shauna. I have a fun time attempting to bowl with the group of military women, some of whom are too noisy about who my husband is and my personal life.
I begin my work in the clinic and find it rewarding, unlike my busy, soul-sucking ER job in California. I enjoy talking to the homeless people, hearing their stories, and attempting to find patient services that they can utilize, which might make their situation better. Many times I hear, I'm the only medical care the person ever sees. The thought is saddening and sobering. Our medical system has failed these people! At home, I attempt to brainstorm ways to be more useful to reach more people. On days I'm not volunteering, I call Christina to keep myself occupied, but most days she is busy designing her spring collection for next year.
Weeks turn into more weeks. I still don't hear a word from Tobias. The holidays are quickly approaching, and I begin to recognize the depression I felt as a teenager return when the realization dawns on me: my husband isn't going to be home for our first set of married holidays. I attempt to outwork the depression. I volunteer almost every day and run after my long days. Still, I find myself growing bored, restless, needing a change in my life. I don't know what to do with myself around the base. Ryan left with the same groups of men Tobias did. I can't keep bothering Shauna.
Panic shoots through my core at the knock on my door. I swing the door open, revealing an excited Shauna with a piece of paper clenched in her fingers. She jumps at me, yelling, "It's official! We are out of this awful base!" She flings a copy of Zeke's official orders into my hand. The orders state his transfer from Andrews Air Force Base to Langley Air Force Base has been approved. I ask, "I suppose you would like some help packing?" She nods her head, "Of course!"
Shauna and I pick out a night to pack their house. Unlocking the front door of the house after a night of packing Shauna and Zeke's house, my phone vibrates with an unknown number for a FaceTime call. Nervously, I answer the phone. My palms sweat, my heart pounds rapidly against my chest. The screen turns black momentarily. Suddenly a grainy face wearing a tan shirt appears on the screen. The screen adjusts after a moment to reveal a tired-looking man wearing funny military issued glasses with bags under his dark blue eyes. His eyes stare at me. My heart quickens, my mouth feels sticky. Instantly, I wish I could touch him or go to him. He smiles, but before he can say a word, his phone is yanked away from him, revealing a head of dark hair, "Trissy!" The man yells, waving frantically! I smile, waving, "Zekey Bear!"
He smirks, "I hope you are taking care of my wife for me! It's boring as all hell over here! I don't see why I'm needed over here! I could come up with flight plans and do the paperwork from the comfort of my home. I'll let you talk to Captain Crabass. I need to call the wife, see how packing is going, and my unborn baby." A giggle escapes my lips at Tobias's nickname. I giggle, "Yeah, but clearly, the Air Force needed some eye candy for flight planning. That's why Four and you were needed there." Zeke laughs, "I hope you are doing well. I need you to snap your husband out of his sour mood." I giggle, "I'll try!" The screen wiggles while Zeke hands the phone back to Tobias. Before I can say anything. Tobias rolls his eyes, rubs his hands over his face, mutters at Zeke, "I'm not in a mood! If he thinks I'm in a mood, he should look in the mirror. I'm glad at least one of us is getting paid to be on vacation over here."
Zeke grumbles, "It serves you right to get more work since you get paid more. You are higher up on the food chain. Go complain at Asshat back stateside for restoring your captain rank before you deployed." Tobias rolls his eyes, "I'll be sure to thank him if I ever see him again. Go call your wife! Leave me alone with mine!" His hard eyes turn back to the screen. As soon as his eyes connect with mine, his eyes soften. I sigh, "Tobias," running my fingers over the cool glass of my phone, wishing I could feel his warm skin instead of glass.
Slightly Tobias smiles like he is going to say something, but another voice interrupts him. He looks pissed about the interruption, "Yes, sir," he replies. Tobias opens his mouth again to speak, but another voice interrupts him. He sighs, "I'm sorry, Tris, give me one minute." He looks away from the screen. His eyes move away from the screen. Tobias snaps, "What the hell do you want, Sergeant McNeal? What couldn't wait until later?" The man mutters something. Tobias crosses his arms, replying, "Too bad. I'll deal with it later when I'm back on shift." His eyes connect with mine once again, rolling his eyes at me, smiling while he places his earbuds in. His voice fills my speaker. He asks, his voice unsure, "Hi, can you hear me?" Tears fill my eyes. I nod my head. He whispers, "Oh, my love, please don't cry. I love you. I'm okay." His fingers move out of view of the camera. Knowing he's okay means the world to me. He whispers, "It kills me to see you crying and knowing I'm the cause of it. I got my orders to Virginia. You can start packing the house whenever you want." I attempt to smile but fail to while he asks about daily life at home since he left. I try to tell him about all the boring things he is missing. I speak about volunteering at the clinic, but he seems off while we talk. In the background, I hear what sounds like bombs crashing. Nervously, I ask, "What was that?"
A smile tugs at his lips, "For your sanity and mine, I'm not going to tell you." Another crash sounds in the background. He smirks, "Instead, let's talk about all the ways we are going to try to get pregnant once I get home from this stupid deployment." I laugh, "Tobias! I'm not going to talk about that! There are people around you!" He grins, "Why do you think I put my earbuds in?" I tease, "I don't know? Maybe you don't want the rest of your men hearing our conversations." He replies, "Fair point, well made as always Mrs. Eaton. Tell me once, you get to Virginia, are you going to look for a nursing job?"
"That's the plan. I'm worried, though. How long will you actually be stationed there? I don't want to look like a job hopper. If you aren't going to be in Virginia for a long time, I could always volunteer at a hospital or something like I'm doing here." I answer, honestly. He replies, "I don't know the answer to your question. I could be stationed in Virginia anywhere for two years to four years or longer." A slight smile pulls at his lips. Seeing his smile makes me miss him even more. I ask, "Zeke said it's boring there. What have you been doing, if it's so boring?"
Tobias runs his fingers through his hair, rolling his eyes, smirking, "Zeke might be bored, but I have lots of assignments which I can't speak of." I blow out a loud breath, realizing I have to accept there are some things he can't tell me over the phone about being over there. Changing the subject, I ask, "You look thin. Are you eating?" He grimaces, "The food sucks." I giggle, "Do you want me to send you something?" He nods his head enthusiastically, grinning, "Yes, you in a box. I miss grocery shopping with you."
A laugh escapes my lips. I ask, "You miss grocery shopping with me?" Attempting to conjure an image of Tobias in the grocery store, shopping with me. When have we ever gone grocery shopping together? Suddenly, my mind drifts to the last night we spent together in the bed of his truck, watching the fireworks explode overhead. He spoke of wanting to come up with talking about grocery shopping as a code when he had ears around, and he was uncomfortable expressing his feelings for me like he missed cuddling at night and holding me tight.
He smiles, "I miss grocery shopping so much. I can't wait until I can come home to grocery shop again." I giggle, "I miss grocery shopping with you too. You better stop talking about grocery shopping, or else your guys are going to think you are a softy in real life and love grocery shopping." Lightly he laughs, "Can you send me a box of Oreos? The ones here aren't real. They taste funny." I smile, "You got it. I'll send you a huge box of them." He asks, his eyes narrowing, "Are you sleeping at night? You look exhausted." The concern evident in his voice. I reply, "Yes, I miss you terribly. It's been hard getting used to you not being here. When things go bump in the night, I freak out, thinking it's Peter or Drew coming to get me. I check all the doors, make sure everything is locked." He smiles, "I miss having you around all the time too."
"What time is it there?" I ask, watching him yawn. He rubs his eyes, answering, "I'm seven hours ahead of you." Quickly, I begin to do mental math, attempting to figure out what time it is where he is. I gasp, "Holy crap! It is wicked early there!" Tobias grimaces, "I know. I haven't slept yet. I wanted to call you first since we haven't spoken since I left. I just got back from a job. I missed you too much to go to sleep without hearing your voice first. This place has been keeping me too busy to call you. I have been trying to for days, but it has been one interruption after another. I wrote a few letters to you. You should be receiving those eventually whenever mail moves." I sigh, stumble up the stairs into bed, and pull up the covers. The exhaustion creeps in. I whisper, "I forgive you, Tobias. When can we talk again?" I don't want the call to end yet, but I know he is going to end soon. He needs to rest. He answers, "Hopefully, in a week or so. We will make it a coffee date."
I lament, "Sounds like a plan. We can always fall asleep together." My eyelids feel like they weigh a million pounds. Tobias whispers, "That sounds lovely, but you first." My eyes flutter back open at his voice, a smile tugs at his lips, his blue eyes sparkle with mischief when his eyes meet mine. My eyes shut when neither of us whispers a word for several moments. Noise makes my eyes flutter back open to stare at my phone screen. Tobias's cheeks are resting on his knuckles, his eye barely open. I attempt to take in his features, scrutinize him, to see if he has changed or not, to see if he is still the same man I sent overseas to Syria all those weeks ago, but I see no difference. My eyelids flutter close for the last time. He whispers, "Good night. I love you, princess." I whisper, "I love you, Tobias," as sleep takes over for the night.
Thoughts and opinions on this chapter. I can't wait to hear them! The next chapter will be up next weekend sometime, November 21, 2020