I cannot thank you all enough for your kind reviews and all of the follows and favorites! You are really making it so enjoyable to update this story, as I say every time I post. Heads up, the ending of this chapter did not go as I had originally planned, but it came to me as I was writing. I hope you like it and think it works! Enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen (Mareke)

Besides Imrahil's family and Elladan and Elrohir, not many people had come to Minas Tirith for the New Age celebration. Most other rulers had decided to celebrate with their own people.

Imrahil and the Elrondian twins stayed for another week after the celebration and I grew more and more comfortable around them all.

When the twins had appeared out of nowhere on the day of the New Age celebration, I had nearly fainted when I realized who they were, but they were kind to me and I felt as though in their time in Minas Tirith that they sought my company out more than Aragorn's.

"Your Majesty," Elladan said, only discernable by the scar on his temple, coming upon me with his brother as I returned to my rooms from dropping Adnan off with Gimli. I had become sidetracked in the library for over an hour and had a stack of books tucked under my arm.

"Elladan, Elrohir," I greeted them in turn. They were clad in gray, which I had learned was their usual attire. "I was just going to warm myself by my fire. These halls are so drafty. Could I interest you in some tea or other refreshment?" I asked them. They were not affected by the cold as we mortals were, but they nodded their agreement nonetheless.

I ushered them into my stone sitting room and they took two chairs that flanked the fireplace and Lady Ioreth brought in a tray with tea and crackers for myself and my guests.

"We are to be leaving soon," Elrohir said, taking a teacup from my hands.

I gave a sad smile. "I will hate to see you go." His brother took another cup from me. "I must admit that I did not imagine we would foster such a friendship."

"Surely you do not believe that you are not worthy of being anyone's friend," Elladan said directly.

Shrugging, I sat down on the sofa that faced the fireplace and let it warm my chilled body.

"Perhaps not many have taken the time to know you, Mareke, but those who have are quite taken by you and full of respect for you," Elladan continued on. "And the ones who have become your friends are worth more than a hundred Minas Tirith courtesans apiece," he said sincerely.

"I am glad you think so," I said gratefully.

"I hope we have not caused trouble for you," Elrohir said.

I raised an eyebrow, confused. "Of course you have not. I have more than enjoyed your time here with us."

"We do not generally pry so much, but did Estel speak with you after the New Age celebration?" Elrohir asked.

I thought back to when he had frightened me in my own chambers that night and given the apology that was not his. It had been the last time we had been together alone.

"He did," I said slowly.

"But it does not appear as if it went well," Elladan said. They had dined with Aragorn and I and the rest of our guests every night, but they could tell that we were not any closer than we had been that evening.

"Elladan, Elrohir," I said gently. "I appreciate your concern and I am truly grateful that you think highly enough of me to speak up for me, but I would hate for your relationship with Aragorn to be marred because of his marriage to me."

"Let me assure you, Mareke, that the only way our relationship will be marred is if he does not act like the man we used to know. We have never seen him like this and it is frustrating," Elladan replied.

"He is very unhappy," I said quietly.

"He should not be," Elladan said in his outspoken manner.

Elrohir looked at his more rash brother. "Perhaps he should be unhappy, but that does not excuse his actions, or lack thereof, towards you. He does not treat his friends in such a manner no matter unhappy he is. You have nothing to do with his unhappiness. You did not cause it. And from what I have come to know of you I do not think you can be working against him."

"I believe he has a right to be unhappy." I was truly uncomfortable discussing Aragorn with his brothers. He was so miserable because the woman he had loved with his entire self had deserted him. Said woman was Elladan and Elrohir's younger sister.

"Perhaps you are right, but that does not give him the right to treat you as though it is your fault somehow," Elrohir said. "You should at least feel comfortable and protected here."

"The King took my son and I in much earlier than he was supposed to. He has protected us from the beginning," I assured them.

They nodded.

"If I may be so bold, you have come here alone the two of you. Perhaps, and I do not mean this unkindly, but perhaps you do not understand how exactly he feels. I am not trying to sound ungrateful, for I greatly appreciate your goodwill toward me, but to love someone and to lose them is incomprehensible. There can be a week straight of happy days, there can be a month or six months of feeling better and then it steals over you. It is a fog, a heavy blanket of grief that will probably never leave completely."

"Your husband died, Mareke," Elladan said bluntly. "Arwen left of her own accord."

His words, in their frankness, took me aback, but fortunately I did not have to come up with a response.

Adnan came bounding into the room, Gimli trailing behind him.

"Are these lordlings giving you trouble, Your Majesty?" Gimli asked, chest puffed out.

I shook my head and could not help but smile at his bravado.

"Master Dwarf," the elves replied.

I knew that Gimli no longer carried his grudge against the fairer race, but he liked to pretend he did.

Elladan and Elrohir stood and made their way to the door. Elladan gripped my shoulder as he passed, whispering so that I could just barely hear him, "You do not have to protect him."

"Did you have a good lesson?" I asked, pulling Adnan onto my lap and gesturing for Gimli to join us around the fire. My head was spinning from what they had said and I could not focus on my son's answer.

Perhaps they were right and I did not have to submit so easily to Aragorn. He would forever forward be my king and I would have to act a certain way, but I was, quite honestly, tired of putting myself in his way, hoping for a different outcome every time we were together.

ooooOoooo

"Gimli said we might find you here!" Lothiriel said, bounding into Adnan's nursery, her brothers in tow.

On occasion, Adnan and I had snuck Duma into the nursery to escape the cold and he was pacing around the room, circling Adnan and I where we sat playing a game of cards on the floor.

"You have caught me at a rather unqueenly moment," I said, making no move to stand or compose myself.

"All the better," Amrothos laughed.

Adnan had taken the Dol Amrothian siblings out into the garden as he had our other guests and shown them his pet.

"That thing still terrifies me," Amrothos muttered as Duma plopped himself on my lap as though he were a domestic kitten. I groaned at his weight, but scratched behind his ear, causing him to purr.

"A Swan Knight terrified of a cat?" I jested.

"I told you he will not hurt you," Adnan said, exasperated that anyone would be afraid of his companion.

"I am not as brave as you, Adnan," Amrothos admitted.

Erchirion smirked. "He is quite the coward actually."

"I am not afraid of you," Amrothos sneered at his brother.

"Apparently being in a nursery has brought out the children in my brothers," Lothiriel rolled her eyes. "They used to fight terribly. The nurses would be beside themselves and Ada would be sent for. Quite the debacle nearly every day."

"Ah and I remember one quite unruly princess gleefully jumping into the fray on most of those occasions."

Lothiriel's cheeks colored. I had to laugh at their antics.

"Do you have siblings?" She asked me, trying to change the subject.

The corners of my mouth immediately turned down. "I do," I replied. "An older brother."

"Then you know," Lothiriel said, even though I knew she could sense that Na'man and I did not share the same relationship she did with her brothers.

The last time I had seen Na'man, I had left his rooms with blood running down my chin and into my mouth and it had been no childish bout of wrestling.

"Now, back to the subject at hand," I said, quickly changing the subject. "Why were you three looking for me?"

"Well Lothiriel had an idea," Amrothos said, looking pointedly at his younger sister.

I looked at her as well.

"We are travelling to Emyn Arnen to visit Faramir and Eowyn before we head back to Dol Amroth," she said. "I thought you might like to accompany us."

"That sounds lovely. I have missed Eowyn desperately," I admitted.

"Faramir was the one who told me that I might find a friend in you," Lothiriel said sheepishly.

"I am glad he did. Your cousin is one of the most gentle men I have ever had the pleasure of meeting," I replied. "I would very much like to go with you. Of course I will have to ask the King."

I glanced up at Amrothos and saw something pass over his face that unsettled me.

"Very well," he said. "I cannot see why he would object."

There was some hidden meaning there, but perhaps not so hidden. I was sure that at the New Age celebration it had been quite obvious that the King had not wanted anything to do with me. Why would he care if I left for a couple of weeks to visit a friend?

"Our father is not going," Lothiriel said. "Perhaps the King will say no when he learns that you will be under the protection of these two." Amrothos and Erchirion grumbled at her.

"Can I go?" Adnan asked, drawing me from my thoughts.

"Oh I suppose," Erchirion said, teasing my son with his slow response.

"We will have to ask Strider tonight," I told my son.

"Hopefully you will be able to join us," Erchirion said kindly. "We are leaving the day after next."

ooooOoooo

Later that night we were all mingling in my sitting room. Legolas and Gimli were present, as well as the Elrondian twins, and family from Dol Amroth. Aragorn was across the room from where I stood with Elladan, Elrohir, Legolas and Gimli.

"Ask him, Mama," Adnan said nudging against my leg rather forcefully. "Ask him."

"Not right this instant," I replied.

"What are you so impatient about, little prince?" Legolas asked, looking down at my son.

"We are going on a trip," Adnan said importantly.

"Hush, Adnan," I said rather sternly. "We will discuss it later."

He crossed his arms over his chest and went to find better company.

"Lothiriel invited us to visit Faramir and Eowyn with them on their way home," I said as way of explanation to Gimli's curious face.

"It might do you some good to visit Ithilien," the Dwarf replied.

It was my turn to look at him curiously.

"You and Lady Eowyn seemed quite compatible," he said with a shrug.

Eventually everyone left my rooms but Aragorn. As the adults had stood around talking, Adnan had found himself a place on a sofa and had fallen soundly asleep, despite the noise. I took a step towards him, but Aragorn laid a hand on my arm. "Allow me."

He gingerly scooped my son into his arms and took him into the nursery. I watched from the doorway as he mimicked what I did when I tucked Adnan in. The King pulled his small boots from his feet and then brought the heavy blankets to his chin, brushing the hair away from his face before ushering me back into the sitting room..

"Did I do it correctly?" He asked with a small smile.
"You did," I conceded.

"Should we retire?" Aragorn asked and I knew what that meant and nothing seemed less appealing than taking him into my bedchamber. The visits had been less frequent with all of guests for the New Age celebration.

"I have something to ask you first, if you do not mind," I said quickly.

"Of course not," he said. Instead of going into my bedroom, he took a seat on the sofa, leaving enough room for me to join him, but instead I sat across from him on the other one.

"I was hoping that you might permit Adnan and I to travel to Ithilien with Imrahil's children," I said. "They have invited us to accompany them before they go back to their home."

Aragorn looked at me for a long moment. "Oh," was all he said for a long moment. "And you would enjoy that?" He asked finally.

"Very much so. I took quite a liking to Eowyn and Faramir is so kind. I want to meet their child desperately."

He had a look on his face that I never seen before. It seemed to be a mix of disappointment and something I could not place.

"Do you think it wise to travel to Ithilien when we are to leave for Harad eminently?" He asked.

"I had not intended on a very long visit in Ithilien, but I am asking your permission so if you think I should not go all you have to do is say so," I looked at him evenly, practically daring him to say no with my gaze alone.

"Of course I cannot say no," he sighed. "I had just been thinking that it would be nice to have the palace back to just the two of us after such a long season of celebrating and hosting friends and family."

I could have fainted at that very moment.

"I was hoping that we might spend more time together," he continued, looking down at his boots.

"What?" I asked blankly. Surely I had not understood him correctly.

He took my question as cruel rather than a misunderstanding, but perhaps he was not wrong. "That is probably the last thing you would like to do after how I have behaved, but I thought it might be good for us," he offered quietly.

After talking to Elladan and Elrohir, I felt even more the injustice of what he was doing. How much of his actions were his own or just a product of being scolded.

"I am not saying that I am not to blame for this," I waved my hand in between us. "But I have rather settled into what it has become."

Aragorn sat still not meeting my gaze. I had let him behave however he wanted and he could continue to do so, but my contentment would not hinge on how he acted towards me.

"Now if you would still like to retire that is fine with me," I said.

He looked at me incredulously before answering. "No, you go ahead."

Aragorn made no move to stand as I did and after a moment of looking down at him, I made my way to bedroom.

"Mareke," he called after me. I stopped and turned but he was still staring straight ahead of him. "You and Adnan may go to Ithilien."

ooooOoooo

"I want to ride my own horse," Adnan said stubbornly, jerking away from Amrothos who was going to lift him onto my saddle where I already sat. The child had been wearing on my nerves of late and I thought of leaving him behind with Lady Belethiel in that instant.

Before I could say something harsh, Aragorn stepped forward and gently moved Amrothos out of the way.

"I know you do," he said soothingly, crouching in front of the boy. "But Fahall is not up for such a long distance yet. When we return from Harad you and I will start taking him on longer and longer rides until he is ready to bear you to Ithilien and beyond. How does that sound?"

"Fine, I suppose," Adnan replied, scuffing the hay and dust on the stable floor with his boot.

"Very good." Aragorn held him under the arms and lifted him up to me. "Be safe the two of you."

"They are in good hands," Amrothos promised the King, but Aragorn was still looking up at me. He gave Adnan's knees a squeeze, before finally turning to the young Prince of Dol Amroth and nodding, taking a step back so we might depart.

It took less than a day to reach Emyn Arnen riding at a steady trot. There was a layer of snow on the ground and the wind was biting. Adnan was wrapped in his own cloak and I had also wrapped mine around him so he was warm and snug against me, peeking out from a part he had made. For the most part, it was a quiet ride. Everyone wanted to get to our destination and out of the cold. The Dol Amrothians were used to their seaside home and Adnan and I had come from the dry heat of a desert.

We had decided to surprise Eowyn with my presence. She had been expecting Faramir's cousins, but it had been a very last minute decision for me to join them.

We rode through the series of hills that surrounded Faramir and Eowyn's home and when we mounted one we could see the modest stone building nestled in a small valley. We eagerly rode down and left our mounts with the stable hands before heading for the building and the warmth it offered.

The three siblings walked shoulder to shoulder in front of Adnan and I so that we would be hidden from view. There were no high regal steps to mount. The place was humble like it's creators, as it had had to be built from the ground up after the War. Osgiliath had been the capital of Ithilien, but Emyn Arnen was the ancestral home of the Stewards of Gondor, though no one had lived there for centuries, and Aragorn had gifted it to Faramir after his coronation.

Faramir and Eowyn warmly greeted their guests, hugging them all and only when Eowyn looked up from hugging Lothiriel did she see me standing behind the young woman.

She yelped in surprise and I held my arms out to her. Though we had only met the one time at my wedding, we had kept up a constant correspondence and I felt as though she had been a friend for years.

Eowyn hugged me tightly. "What are you doing here?" She asked, holding me at arm's length.

"Adnan and I could not pass up the opportunity to visit when these three so graciously extended an invitation."

As I studied her, I could see the exhaustion of new motherhood plain on her face.

"Come in, come in," Faramir said, ushering us all into his hall. There were fires blazing in every grate and we were more than happy to position ourselves in front of them. Adnan wrapped himself back in my cloak and peered into the fire and around him at his surroundings.

The decorations were eclectic. The hall, though made of stone, was not cold like Minas Tirith. There were paintings of Faramir's family and ancestors hanging about and tapestries from Rohan adorning the walls.

"Well where is he?" I finally asked.

"He is asleep right now," Eowyn said and I could hear the relief in her voice. She had written that Elboron was particularly fussy and cried often.

"Ah, then let him sleep. We will have plenty of time to meet him later."

Eowyn nodded and led us to our rooms. "I apologize, Mareke. They will not be nearly as grand as what you are used to."

"And I could not be more grateful for that," I said, resting my hand on her arm. "Do not fret over us. We were glad to escape after the crowded New Age celebrations."

Eowyn nodded. "I am not sure where to put you and Adnan," she said. She had already shown the Dol Amrothian siblings to their rooms. "The only room with an attaching chamber is mine and Faramir's."

"Not to worry. Adnan can sleep with me." I ran my fingers through his unruly curls. "Truly Eowyn. We will be just fine here."

"Very well," she replied. "Take some time and get settled. Elboron should be awake in an hour or so."

I nodded and led Adnan into the room she had given us. It was quaint and warm and the bed looked inviting.

"How exciting," I said to Adnan as I crouched and removed his cloak. "Another new place." I lifted him up and tossed him onto the bed, leaping to join him. He giggled wildly and squirmed away from my tickling fingers until he was out of breath. He laid still and stared into my eyes with his dark ones.

"Why did Strider not come?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"He is very busy. You know this," I replied.

"But we are not very far from Minas Tirith and we are not staying long," he continued.

"He just could not make this trip," I said with a shrug, wondering at the shrewdness of my son. "Especially since we are going to Harad so soon."

Adnan looked at me for a long moment before rolling onto his side, showing me his back. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him against my chest and under the covers for a quick nap after the long, cold travels.

It felt like only moments later when Adnan was nudging me awake. "I can hear the baby," he said, rather alarmed.

As I woke, I could hear him too. I had not heard the desperate wailing of an infant in so long, but it came back to me quickly. I stood from the bed and quickly changed into a clean dress. Adnan and I went into the hallway and found Lothiriel doing the same.

"He sounds very unhappy," she said, uncertainly.

I laughed. "Indeed. Perhaps we can offer some help."

We found the door to Eowyn and Faramir's rooms and knocked gently.

Faramir answered looking quite beside himself. "Perhaps you would like to meet him when he has calmed down a bit."

I could sense that Lothiriel was ready to agree and leave, but I shook my head. "Nonsense. Let me see him."

Faramir stood aside and I released Adnan's hand and left him standing with Lothiriel as I went to Eowyn who was standing with the babe cradled in her arms, her hips swaying back in forth. She looked close to tears herself.

"I am so embarrassed," she said as I approached.

"Embarrassed?" I asked. "Whatever for?"

"I do not know what to do with him!" She exclaimed. "I feel as though I were not meant for this!"

"Eowyn," Faramir said gently, from near the doorway.

I took the loosely wrapped bundle from her arms. "Let me show you a trick that always worked with Adnan," I said. "Hopefully it will help."

The babe's face was scarlet from all of the wailing he had done. I took the blanket away from him and spread it on their bed so that the corners were pointing up and down and out to the sides.

"Sshh, sshh, little one. I hear you," I murmured to him as I laid him down in the center of the blanket.

Faramir and Eowyn had crowded close around me to see what magic I was about to work.

"When you carried him, Eowyn, he was not used to having so much space. Imagine you are him and now you have all of this space around you. It would be a little bit overwhelming. If you swaddle him tighter it will bring him a familiar comfort." I brought the bottom corner up so his feet were covered and then I pulled one of the side corners very tightly across Elboron and tucked it snugly behind his back before pulling the other one around him in the same manner. Lifting him back into my arms, his wailing subsided to soft hiccupping.

"You are a natural, Your Majesty," Faramir said in awe.

"Not a natural, I assure you." I nodded toward Adnan. "That one gave me just as much trouble. No, not a natural, a war tried soldier."

I stroked the babe's soft cheeks with the back of my fingers. "There is his beautiful face," I said with a gentle smile.

Eowyn was looking at me with her mouth agape. "Did your mother teach you that?" She asked, after Faramir departed to let the women spend some time together. I knew her parents had died when she was very young.

"No, my father actually," I said with a light laugh. "When he could take no more of hearing Adnan cry down the halls."

Lothiriel peered into the bundle and Adnan tugged roughly at my skirts so that he could see. I took a spot in a chair near the fire and hauled him onto my lap with my free hand. He stared at the tiny infant I held. I could not recall him ever seeing one before.

"Would you like to help me hold him?"

Adnan nodded cautiously and I adjusted all three of us, so that Adnan was "holding" Elboron in his lap.

"You look like you would make a very good big brother, Adnan," Lothiriel said.

I could not see my son's face, but I felt him vehemently shake his head no against my chest.

Eowyn laughed.

"He will have to change his opinion on that," I said with a light laugh.

Both of the women across from me looked at me eagerly.

"Are you expecting?" Eowyn demanded.

I waved their anxiousness away. "Not yet," I replied. "But that is why I am here in Gondor, is it not?"

Their faces fell and I realized that neither of them quite understood my situation. Eowyn had married exactly who she had wanted to and Lothiriel, as of yet unmarried, would be able to do the same it seemed. If Imrahil had intended to make an advantageous match for her the time had passed. It had been nearly three years since the end of the War.

There was a long silence.

"I should not have said that so harshly. Forgive me," I finally said.

Lothiriel shook her head. "No. Do not apologize. It must be very difficult for you."

"I do not want your pity," I replied gently.

"We do not pity you," Eowien said.

"Quite the contrary. I admire you for handling everything as you have." She looked at her hands in her lap. "May I speak frankly?"
"Of course you may. You need not ask my permission," I replied.

"My family was rather unsettled after the New Age celebration," she said. "It did not seem that the King treated you very well. Amrothos was distraught. He has come think very highly of you."

I sighed.

"No one treats her well in Minas Tirith," Eowyn said angrily.

"The people will tire themselves. They are stuck with me as their Queen for the foreseeable future and they will have to adjust." I looked down to see that my son had dug out one of Elboron's pale pink hands and it was wrapped around Adnan's dark finger. I rested my chin on his head.

"For a very long time, I did not treat the King very well either," I admitted. "It is a difficult situation for all involved."

"But he could be more polite to you in public at least," Lothiriel said.

I smiled at her naivety. "I hope you never have to understand such a situation, my friend."

"Many of us are worried because he is not the King we knew," Eowyn said.

I nodded. "So I have heard and I hate to think that any of that is my doing."

"It is not," Eowyn said quickly.

"Please, let us talk of something else," I said, quite tired of the subject. "I do not have very much time to spend with you all and would like to spend it happily."

Eowyn and Lothiriel did their best, though the conversation lagged occasionally.

ooooOoooo

We spent a little over a week with Faramir and his family and left before the siblings from Dol Amroth. I had given Eowyn and Faramir all of the help I could think of when it came to handling a newborn. Lothiriel had promised to write frequently and I left with a smile on my face.

When we arrived back in Minas Tirith that smile had disappeared. At the top of the steps to our level of the city, Aragorn stood waiting for us.

Adnan released my hand and went running straight for him. The King caught my son as he leapt for him and then threw him very high in the hair causing Adnan to squeal in delight.

"I cannot wait to hear all about your trip," he said with a huge grin, settling Adnan on his hip.

He took a step towards me and rested his free hand lightly on my waist. Before I knew what was happening he had pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to my lips. "Welcome home."

So there you have it! The baby swaddling thing I actually learned from my dad and it really does work. He does it to every fussy newborn. It might work because it actually comforts them or because they can't breathe. I don't know! Anyway, I hope you liked the update! Let me know what you're thinking! The longer and more rambling the reviews the better!

Happy reading,

Avonmora