-000-
Elliot approached Colton cautiously. The boy's gaze was so far off he didn't even see Elliot approach. "Hey Colton." He kept his voice low, but Colton startled all the same.
"Hey Elliot," Colton said softly, eyes still watching the sharks drift past the glassed in enclosure.
Elliot slowly sat next to him. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees, and clasping his hands. He followed Colton's gaze to the marine life swimming around them. Elliot kept quiet, silently supporting the child who sat mesmerized by the serene scene before them.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone I was leaving," Colton said without any prompting.
Elliot glanced away from the tank and back to Colton. "You scared the crap out of everyone." Everyone. His parents. His brothers. Noah. Olivia. Himself.
"I know." He didn't provide any other explanation so Elliot didn't press. Colton's fingers wrapped around the small gift bag in his lap. "I just," his voice caught, "I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. I just needed to…get away."
Elliot understood the feeling more than most people might. At least Colton only ran to the aquarium…Elliot made it to entirely different continent. Too bad running never seemed to work. Everything always caught up to him.
"I know the feeling," Elliot admitted honestly.
Colton bit his lip and breathed deeply, trying to keep himself from bursting into tears. "It's all my fault." His hands curled around the bag in his lap as tears dropped from his eyes.
Elliot's heart felt like someone had ripped it from his chest. There was nothing Colton could have done. It wasn't his fault.
Elliot wrapped a comforting arm round the boy's shoulder and Colton's face pressed into his chest. "Oh buddy it's not your fault." He tightened his grip a little. "There was nothing you could have done."
"I ran! I could have stayed. I should have stayed! Maybe if I hadn't run off…" the thought tapered off.
"Colton, there isn't any way to know what might have happened if you stayed. They could have hurt you too."
"Good. Then they would have left Clem alone." Elliot felt the tears beginning to wet his shirt. Elliot knew the feeling of responsibility was hard to shake.
"No matter what you think, it's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault," Elliot swallowed the lump in his throat. "If it's anyone's fault it's mine. I should have done better. I should have protected you better. And Clem."
Colton pulled back and his wide dark eyes looked up towards him. "Why would it be your fault? You didn't even know what happened until it was over."
Elliot sighed and rubbed Colton's arm. "I felt weird about letting you stay in a different tent. I should have talked to your teacher and made you squeeze into our tent. I shouldn't have left you there with Lucas."
"You didn't know anything bad would happen," Colton tried to reassure him.
"No, but neither did you." Elliot tried to explain.
"It's different," Colton sighed.
"Okay. Explain why you think it's different." Elliot wanted to talk it out, and he hoped Colton realized that he couldn't have stopped this tragedy. He felt a little like a hypocrite, knowing he was still struggling with his own culpability in the matter, but he had to get Colton to realize he wasn't responsible for what happened to Clem.
"It's different because I saw what was happening. I saw them hurt her. I didn't stop them." His voice cracked. "She was hurt and I just…I just ran away like a scaredy cat. If I could have been braver…if I didn't run away when Lucas came after me, then maybe Clem would still be alive." Colton's chest rose and fell with shaky breaths.
The self-blame felt painfully familiar. Elliot squeezed his own hands together as he spoke, "I feel responsible too, and everyone tells me I'm not, but it doesn't change how I feel about the whole thing."
"Me too." Colton admitted and his gaze fell to the floor.
Elliot knew the guilt wouldn't magically fade away with one conversation, as much as he wanted it to. He changed the subject to why Colton came here. "What's in the bag?" Elliot asked gently.
Colton's fingers toyed with the tissue paper peeking from the top of the bag. "A necklace," Colton said softly.
"Can I see?"
Colton's eyes were almost glued to the bag, but he slowly handed it to Elliot. "Okay."
Elliot tenderly pulled the box from the bag. The top of the box had a window cut into it allowing a customer to see the delicate necklace with in. "It's beautiful Colton." His eyes misted at the thoughtful gift for his friend. It was simple, a small gold dolphin strung on a dainty gold chain.
"I saw it when we came here for a field trip. I knew Clem would like it so I was saving my money to get it for her for her…birthday." Colton's eyes begin to water again.
Elliot tenderly placed the box back into the bag. He set it down next to Colton and pulled him in for another hug. "I'm sure she would have loved it," Elliot assured. "It's a beautiful gift."
Colton sniffled and cried, continuing to rest his head against Elliot's shoulder. "I..I…want to take it to her mom you know..for her to wear.." Colton's voice was swallowed by his emotion no he couldn't finish the thought.
"That's a really kind and beautiful thing to do," Elliot soothed.
Colton nodded, but didn't say anything else. They sat in silence, their attention returning to the marine life in front of them. After a couple minutes Elliot asked, "Do you want me to take you to Clem's apartment so you can give it to her mom?" Emotion lined Elliot's voice.
Colton looked up to him, eyes dewy and dark, "Yeah," he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I think.. yeah I want to do that." His head dropped back against Elliot and he asked, "Do you think we can go now? I think..I'm ready to go I think."
"Okay buddy." He gave Colton a light squeeze. "Let's get out of here."
-000-
Stabler Kids Chat
K: Do any of you have vanilla extract? I also need cinnamon.
K: Opportunity to see baby Benson… ?
M: Oh my God Katie, he's not a zoo animal.
D: ME ? ﾟﾏﾼ ️
L: Aren't you working?
D: Lunch break
L: And you happen to keep vanilla and cinnamon in your briefcase?
D: Shut up Liz. You're just mad I claimed the opportunity first!
D: And there's this thing called a grocery store.
L: Fine. I'm mad I didn't get to my phone fast enough.
D: Sucka!
L: You are a perpetual 13 year old, you know that right?
D: I take great pride in that.
L: ? ﾟﾙﾄ?..
K: Uh thanks for that random detour, but I'm in Olivia's kitchen with a slightly surly preteen and I need those ingredients or I might fail as the favorite Stabler.
D: On my way
L: Pretty sure DAD is his favorite Stabler.
K: Fine. SECOND favorite. Feel better?
L: Yep. Gotta keep your expectations in check.
K: God you're a sore loser.
D: Agreed.
L: You all suck!
E: Leave me out of this! I'm the one hijacked by this thread in the middle of my bio class.
L: Fine- everyone EXCEPT Eli sucks.
E: Thank you
K: SOMEONE JUST BRING ME THE VANILLA AND CINNAMON ALREADY
-000-
"Okay dude. My brother is coming over for a minute to bring the stuff we need so we can make both types of cookies." Kathleen hoped a visitor wouldn't make Noah's stress worse. At the very least, she hoped Dickie would provide another distraction from this terrible day: "That okay?"
Noah had loosened up a little after eating. He'd become a little more chatty. "That's cool." He snagged a piece of paper and began doodling along the edges. "Do you only have one brother?"
Kathleen smiled at his interest. "No, I have a baby brother too. Well, I guess He's not much of a baby anymore."
"How old is he?" Noah's bright blue eyes glanced up from the paper he had been drawing on.
"Eighteen. He's living in Colorado and going to school." Kathleen leaned back against the counter.
"That's kinda cool," Noah smiled as he dropped his attention down to his drawing. "When I was little I thought it would be cool to have a brother or sister."
"Oh yeah?" Kathleen smiled to herself. He was carrying the conversation now.
"Yeah." He shrugged. "But my mom said that I was her miracle and she couldn't ask for a miracle twice.."
"That's sweet. You must be a pretty special kid then huh?" She kept her voice light with a hint of teasing.
A lopsided smile snuck across Noah's face. "I guess. Want to hear something crazy?"
Kathleen couldn't contain her grin, "yeah of course."
"My mom found me in a drawer when she was working a case. She told me that the minute she picked me up she knew I was hers."
Damn kid was going to make her cry. If anyone deserved a miracle, it was Olivia. She couldn't find her voice, but she was saved when there was a knock at the door.
She blinked the tears away, and smiled at Noah, "That must be Dickie, let's go let him in."
-000-
Fin reached for the phone, and put churlish on speaker, "Whatcha got for us?" He asked expectantly.
"We have a scrunchie that matches Abby, not Clem, and we have a match for Marcus on the chewing gum."
"Thank God?" Velasco muttered, and Fin resisted the urge to add an amen.
"Great. Send me those reports cc Cap. I haven't heard anything from the search for the kid, but she'll want to have the information readily available." Fin directed. "Good work."
"Thanks," she replied. "I'm forwarding the reports now, I'll be back to the precinct in a few minutes."
"K. We will coordinate from there. Looks like we need to bring our friend Marcus back here. He's got some explainin to do."
-000-
Fin—-texting Olivia
F: DNA hit on Marcus gum and Abby's scrunchie.
O: Great Bring them in.
F: Find Colton?
O: Yeah, Elliots talking to him now.
F: Going okay?
O: I think so. I'm giving them some space.
F: So..Stabler at your place this morning…
O: Seriously? Get back to work.
F: Yeah yeah. You know I just like to give you shit right?
O: I do, but seriously. Get your ass back to work.
-000-
Olivia shook her head and smiled before dropping her phone in her pocket. She knew Fin was desperate to collect on his winnings on bets he placed twenty years go.
She returned her attention to Elliot and Colton. She already called Colton's parents and the officer in charge of the search. She thanked God they found him safe. It could have been so much worse.
She stood too far away to hear the conversation taking place, but both Elliot and Colton looked emotional. She hoped this conversation could be good for both of them. They both needed to find a way to let go of the guilt, and maybe they could find a way by talking to each other.
She watched Elliot pick up the box with the dolphin necklace and her fingers unconsciously drifted to the necklace permanently settled against her chest. Her guide to happiness. Her guide to Elliot.
She tried not to think of all the wasted years and focus on the now. They were together now, and she loved him. Watching him with Colton continued to solidify that longstanding feeling. She would tell him. Soon. He deserved to know. He deserved to hear the words, and she knew there could be some freedom in finally saying the words she held so close to her heart.
Her fingers still held her necklace when Elliot stood and Colton did the same. Colton handed Elliot the orca stuffed animal, but maintained his grip on the dolphin stuffed animal and the giftbacmg containing the necklace.
Both sets of eyes were read and swollen as they approached her. She reached out to give him a gentle side hug. "Ready?" She asked softly.
Colton nodded, but looked to Elliot for reassurance. Elliot dropped a hand to the boy's shoulder. "Colton wants to make a stop on the way home if that's okay?" Elliot's blue eyes held hers and she knew the request was important.
"I'm sure we can make a quick stop. Where are we going?"
Her eyes teared at his response. "I want to visit Clem's mom."