He seemed a little confused, which was kind of annoying. She pulled on him, making him take a step closer. She didn't want to engage in a super loud discussion like they had frequently done in the past. "You can't just take off," she couldn't contain her anger. "You can't take off and then ignore my calls or texts. That's not going to work for me Elliot. Not at all."

His face whitened and he took a step back and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. "Shit." He muttered. The screen was black. His panicked eyes lifted to hers, "I'm sorry," the words rushed out. "My therapist had an opening and I decided to take it," he explained. "I turned my phone off." He rubbed his forehead. "I never do that. God, I'm sorry Liv. I figured since work wasn't going to be calling me I should shut it off so I wouldn't be distracted. I didn't even think." He groaned. "I'm so stupid. I didn't turn it back on because it's never off and I forgot."

His eyes were pleading with her, but the clenching of her stomach hadn't released, and she was so damn pissed. How could he neglect to think about how much that would freak her out. She breathed, and tried to focus on the fact that he was trying to work through stuff, and the whole thing was an accident. She clenched her jaw and released it. "I know people make mistakes, and it was an accident, but do you have any idea what feelings your silence stirs up?" She felt herself getting emotional and she tried to take a step back, putting space between them, but he didn't allow it. He grasped her arm and pulled her back against his chest.

"Don't pull away from me. Please," his voice came out deep, breathy, and sincere. "I'm sorry. I didn't think. I know…" he pinched his eyes shut. "I know that brought up a lot for you."

His validation tempered back her frustration some, and she felt herself beginning to calm. Her heart rate began to lower from the feeling of his arms right around her. When she finally felt in control, she reached a hand for his face, "so therapy?"

He placed his hand over hers, "Uh yeah. I've been meaning to get back in, but things were crazy, and I couldn't find time, and then she had an unexpected opening so I took it," he rambled.

"That's good," she reassured him, still knocking back the anger and anxiety she had over the situation. "I'm glad you went. I'm glad you recognized that you needed it." She brushed her thumb over his cheekbone. "Did it help?"

He hesitated for a moment, but nodded, "Yeah. Some. I scheduled another appointment for next week."

She couldn't contain her smile. He had come so far from the days where he'd avoid therapy at all costs. "Anything you want to talk about?"

She felt nervous when he shifted his weight uncomfortably, "Yeah, not now though." He dropped a light kiss on her mouth, "later. I need some things to settle, and we should feed Noah."

She nodded in agreement, and he kissed her again. "I'm really sorry, Liv. I really didn't mean to make you…"

She shook her head, "It's just going to take some time. I trust you. I do, but some things…some things just take time."

"I get that," he affirmed. He gave her a lopsided goofy smile, "We good?"

She grinned and shook her head before pressing her lips on his. When she withdrew she kept her mouth close and whispered, "yeah we're good."

-000-

Stabler kids + Elliot

K: God Dad, you've been together for like what? A week?

L: I honestly thought you could keep your shit together longer than that… ?

D: What did the old man do?

L: Took off for the afternoon without telling Liv….

D: Rookie move ….

El: How the hell do any of you know anything about any of this?

L: Why would we reveal our sources…

El: Sources or source?

K: Don't make assumptions

El: Noah…

K: Oh go easy on him. He's never had siblings before. Plus your idiotic move scared the shit out of him.

L: Like seriously. Kid's never had a man in his life or his mothers life. Can't freak him out like that.

El: Like what? I have no idea what's going on. Liv and I are good.

D: I'm still waiting for details on what exactly happened…

K: Dad bailed after the funeral and went MIA for the afternoon.

M: Dad. Come on. I want to be on your side.

D: I mean, Liv doesn't seem like the high maintenance type that needs to know his every location.

M: He disappeared for ten years without telling her. She has the right to know EVERY. SINGLE. PLACE. He goes.

D: It's getting cold on the chat. Good luck dad. ?ￂﾠ

El: ?ￂﾠ

K: Dad. The kid has only had one parent. He has no idea that arguing is a normal thing.

El: It wasn't even a real argument! She told me I was an idiot, and I agreed.

E: Good call

D: How would you even know? You're a baby.

E: I'm eighteen and I've had more than one girlfriend. Not sure you can claim the same.

K: Solid burn ? ﾟﾤﾣ?

L: Anyone could see how attached that kid is to you. He doesn't have any frame of reference for this. He was nervous that you were just going to bail on him and his mom.

El: Damn.

K: That's what I'm saying. Now go make sure my baby brother is okay, and try not to be an idiot.

El: ?

D: Inside joke…kinda. Just roll with it.

El: Okay

L: Don't be mad that he told us about it. I think he wanted to talk to people who knew both of you and would know what was normal for you two.

El: I'm just going to talk to him. Unlike you knuckleheads he's not scared of talking to me.

D: Did you just call us knuckleheads? ? God you're old. Why don't you just call us young whippersnappers.

M: Dying ?ￂﾠ

K: Probably because you don't have RBF as much as you used to. I could never decide if you were pissed at me or all the pedos you dealt with in the day.

El: I'm sorry you guys. Did you all feel like that?

K: Sometimes, but we're good. Go talk to Noah.

L: We're fine now Dad. We loved you and trusted you. We really don't need to hash it out right now.

E: Go talk to your sixth kid.

D: ? ﾟﾤﾣ?ￂﾠ

D: I'm so proud right now.

El: I have literally no idea what that's about. I don't think I want to know. I'm muting you WHIPPERSNAPPERS.

D: Yesssssss own it old man.

El: Has anyone told you you're kind of an ass?

E: Every damn day.

-000-

Elliot knocked on the doorframe even though the door was open. Noah sat at his desk with legos strewn all over and a detailed diagram laid out in front of him. His head jerked to Elliot as if he startled him.

Elliot stepped into the room slowly and peaked over Noah's shoulder. "What are you working on?" He tried to get a better look at the instruction packet.

"Hogwarts castle," he clicked another block into place. "I got it for my birthday, and I haven't had time to really work on it."

"Can I help? Dickie loves legos." He hoped he didn't seem over eager. He really wanted to maintain a good relationship with Noah. He wanted to know him, and that couldn't happen if Noah shut him out.

"Loves? He's like thirty or something right?"

Elliot chuckled and pulled up a chair. "Some things you never outgrow." He picked up the instructions. He was going to need his glasses. "How bout you tell me where the pieces go so I don't mess up what you've already finished."

"Okay," Noah agreed, and took the instructions from his hands. He laid them flat on the desk and smoothed the pages down. He pointed to a diagram. I'm working on this part. I'm still pulling the pieces." He fished a piece from a pile separated from the box. "I need eight of this one."

"Okay." He started to rummage through the master pile for the needed pieces. "Hey. I'm sorry about this afternoon," he started. "There's been so much going on." He picked up a piece and dropped it into his pile. "It was stupid, but I didn't think about telling you guys where I was. I haven't had to do that for a long time."

Noah's eyes narrowed. Elliot almost laughed. He'd seen that face so many times. "You scared the crap out of my mom." Elliot was fairly certain crap was on Olivia's "bad word list" but he was definitely not going to call him out on it. Kid was pissed and he had the right to be. Noah clicked another Lego into place. "She tried to pretend everything was fine, but she does that when she's freaking out." He shook his head. "I swear asking me to get ice cream is some kind of code. She always takes me when she's flipping out and wants to distract me."

Elliot bit his tongue to keep from smiling. The kid was pretty damn perceptive, and he definitely knew his mom. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak her out…or you"

He shrugged. "I'm okay."

"I'm sure you heard your mom and I talking…"

"Angry talking," Noah muttered.

"Yeah. You know that everything's okay right? Adults disagree about things, or hurt each other's feelings, and sometimes we need to talk it out." He reached for Noah's arm to make sure he had his attention. "It doesn't mean you don't love the other person."

Noah nodded and dropped his eyes back down to his project. "So you're not going anywhere?" He kept his eyes down, and Elliot could tell that it was a hard question for him to ask.

"Hey buddy," he shifted his weight so he could face Noah. "Listen," he waited for Noah to look him in the eyes. Once he had his full attention he continued. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for good."

Noah's eyes teared a little and Elliot pulled him in for a hug. "I might make stupid mistakes, and your mom and I might fight about stuff, but I love her, and you, and I promise I'm not going anywhere."

-000-

Later that evening, Olivia finished a glass of wine before curling up next to Elliot on the couch. She looked up, and he wrapped his arms around her when she asked, "Wanna talk now?"

He sighed. He really didn't want to talk. His thoughts were still spinning around, and he couldn't make sense of them all. "Not really. I'm still trying to sort stuff out."

"Okay." The disappointment in her voice got to him.

He sighed and reluctantly dove in. "I went in obviously to talk about everything going on right now. I'm working through everything, but I can't shake the guilt really."

"El," she started, and he knew she was going to try to make him feel better about the whole thing. Problem was, telling him it wasn't his fault didn't automatically make it so.

He wanted to steer the conversation somewhere else. "It's really not the case that's bothering me, not really." His eyes drifted to hers and he immediately noted the concern there. He didn't want to rock the boat. He didn't want her to close herself off again, not when they had come so far. But his therapist's words echoed through his mind. He didn't want this to fail.

He tightened his arm around her. "At the funeral," he started, "I watched you with Noah, and I guess, I don't know, I guess I realized how much I missed…you created this whole life for yourself," he kissed her temple, "and I'm so proud of you."

"But?" She asked softly.

"I need you, God knows I need you," he placed another kiss on her temple. "But you proved you can get along fine without me. You don't need me. Not like I need you."

She shifted so she could see him better. Her warm eyes holding him captive. "How can you even think that?" He voice wasn't angry, but concerned.

"I don't know. It's just hard to find where I fit in your life. I'm just waiting for you to turn around one day and realize that I don't deserve you." He dropped his eyes to the couch upholstery.

He wasn't even a little prepared when she moved out of his arms. At first he panicked, but she moved over him, dropping her knees to either side of his hips, kissing him deeply while she straddled him. She pulled back, the kiss leaving both of them breathless. She rested his forehead on his. "I know what I deserve, Elliot. I know myself and what I want. I want you." She sighed and her warm breath warmed his lips. "I built a life without you because I had to. You didn't exactly give me a choice. Suddenly you were gone and I had to find a way to live my life without you by my side." She pulled back and held a hand to his cheek. "I walked through my life with a piece of me missing. I may have figured it all out without you, but it doesn't mean I don't need you." She brushed her lips over his, a whisper of a touch, "I can survive without you, but I know I need you for my life to be happy. You are my happiness El. I need you more than you could ever begin to understand."

He lifted his hand to brush a stray lock of hair away from her face. She was incredibly beautiful, like this, hair framing her face and big brown eyes studying him. "I love you."

She smiled broadly before pressing her lips to his, "I love you too."

She kissed him again slowly, deep with meaning. His hand moved to the back of her neck, threading through her hair as his tongue teased the bottom of her lip. He felt her smile into the kiss before allowing his tongue to brush hers. For a while it was just that, mouths and lips, but then her hands started to move, effectively making his heart pound furiously.

He leaned back into the arm of the couch as she tugged up the bottom of his shirt. He moved his lips down her jawline, stopping to tease the spot just below her ear. Her fingers dropped below the edge of his jeans. A light groan escaped his lips as he pulled away from her neck. His breathy voice sent goosebumps down her body and lit a fire in her core. "I think we better move to the bedroom," he breathed. He nipped at her earlobe, "because any more of this," he ran his tongue down the length of her neck, "and we will be doing this out here on the couch."

Her hands lifted from his pants line and pressed into his stomach. "Let's go then," she breathed.