"Hopefully, this won't take long," Noah spoke through a cell phone as he walked into the studio. "I love you, too, Emma." He turned off his phone before sitting down. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

"Joyous, aren't you?" Josh teased. "Let's start out with Ezekiel, shall we?"

"I didn't pay much attention to him during Island or Action, except when he made those comments about girls, but I definitely had to in World Tour. The guy didn't change one bit, unless you count his breath. I didn't pity him during that feral phase, either."

"Figures. Now, onto Eva. You, her and Izzy all teamed up during Island's special."

"Well, I'm probably one of the few guys that aren't scared of Eva. And while she does have an anger issue, at least she admits it's an issue, unlike some people. She even tried to protest my elimination in World Tour due to the fact that Owen and I completed the challenge."

"She mentioned during her interview that you wanted to pick her to go on Ridonculous Race," Josh pointed out.

"Yeah," Noah answered. "She would be the brawn while I was the brains. But she was busy competing in some athletic thing, so I had to choose somebody else, which ended up being Owen. After the show ended, Eva congratulated me on my run and she even took a liking to Emma and Kitty. We still hang out to this day."

"Now, in the Island special, you considered Justin the 'anti-you'. Any reasons for that?"

"I considered him my polar opposite in every aspect. While I'm not exactly all nice and friends with everybody, I don't try to hide it. Justin, on the other hand, appears all friendly and no one thinks he can do no wrong but he can be quite dishonest, like in the Island special. However, I soon saw that the guy has some standards when it comes to the game. Like, when Lindsay was starting to swoon over him, he didn't try to flirt back because she has a girlfriend, unlike a certain eel. And in Action, he really didn't do anything too villainous, unless you count falling for Courtney villainous."

"Interesting. Now, apart from the Playa de Losers episode, you didn't interact with Katie or Sadie much."

"Actually, that isn't entirely true," Noah corrected. "I did manage to speak with Katie a bit in the resort before Sadie came, like how she sews both her and Sadie's outfits and how she was captain of the dodgeball team back home. She later admitted to being bi and that her and Sadie's friendship might be something more. Once Sadie came and practically clung to Katie's side, it was pretty much confirmed. I think both girls are great to chat with when they're apart, but you need a lot of patience to take them together."

"I'll make note of that," Josh commented before sliding the next picture up. "Now, you and Tyler didn't interact much during Island, but you were on the same team in World Tour."

"Yeah, and the guy wasn't half bad. Most of the jocks back home are usually boastful bullies, but Tyler was neither of them. In fact, by the time season three rolled around, he was more forgettable than Zeke was. I'll admit I teased him a bit about it from time to time, but I stopped after New York. He confided a little in me about his relationship troubles with Lindsay since he wasn't aware of the...problem she had at the time. I didn't have any experience with love before the spin-off, so the only thing I told him was to just keep trying, along with keeping his ears open. The only bad thing I can say about him is his lack of brains, so I wasn't too shocked when Alejandro tricked him into voting me off."

"So, you once described Izzy as, quote, 'nutty as a ten-ton bag pecans smothered in peanut butter encased in a cashew the size of China'."

"Yes, and I still hold by those words. The girl can be quite the handful."

"And you even tried to convince Owen to dump her in World Tour."

"Whoa, whoa! I only brought up that idea because his relationship was starting to hurt him in more ways than one. After World Tour ended, I convinced Owen and Izzy to talk things out, and I was a little surprised that Izzy felt a little remorseful about hurting him like she did. The two later decided to start fresh after a bit of time. I still think Izzy's good underneath all those layers of crazy."

"Now, you once had quite a steamy moment with the next camper." Noah groaned at Cody's picture. "People are STILL going about that?" he complained. "I don't know about Cody, but I like girls. Setting that record straight. We didn't talk much during Island, but we had a few chats in Action's Aftermath studio and during World Tour. I felt bad about what he was going through with Sierra, and I tried to give him a bit of space in loser class in case he needed a breather. I wouldn't say we're good friends, but he's still a nice guy."

"What about Beth?" Josh asked. "Any thoughts on her?"

"No, not really. We don't talk."

"Now we're getting to the good stuff. What are your thoughts on Courtney?"

"Ugh. I'm not gonna be subtle: the girl's a grade-A bitch. Add to the fact that she got worse over time and you've got the formula for an awful person. But other than the Playa episode, we hardly interacted, which I'm grateful for."

"Let's move onto the next person, shall we?" Noah rolled his eyes at Harold's picture. "I personally found him a bit annoying," he commented. "I know I'm smart, but I don't go bragging off useless facts like he did. Why do you think I tried to avoid him in the Island special? Overall, we don't speak."

"Interesting," Josh noted. "Now, what about Trent?"

"Meh, I found him pretty bland compared to everyone else. I didn't pity him regarding what happened between him and Gwen in Island or Action. He brought it upon himself."

"What about Bridgette? You were pretty happy when you hugged her in the Yukon."

"Yeah, because I was FREEZING! But her fawning over El Eel and getting eliminated in that episode was when I started to get suspicious of that eel. Bridgette's an okay person, but she can be so naive at times."

"Now, you mentioned Lindsay a tiny bit before and even mentioned a problem with her. Details?"

"Nice try, Josh, but I'm not telling anything about that. You can wait for Lindsay or Tyler for that. She's not entirely bad, but seeing her follow Heather like a lost puppy was just so pathetic. I have mixed thoughts on her Action and All Stars run, but I was a little relieved that she didn't end up manipulated by Alejandro. That's about it on her."

"Mixed thoughts? What exactly did you mean by that?"

"Well, before Action, I didn't expect Lindsay to have a brain, so seeing her coming up with ACTUALLY good ideas was pretty shocking to see. As for the crappy excuse that is All Stars, seeing her go first over COURTNEY was just so disappointing."

"Let's move onto the next person on the list." Noah just let out a breath at DJ's picture. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen," he commented. "He was kinda average in Island. In his short run on Action, however, I was a bit impressed that he had the guts to stand up to Chef. Sadly, that's where he peaked. After he broke that mummy statue, he started to get all worried due to that whole 'curse' junk. And once I saw Senor Eel trying to sweet-talk him, I figured it was a matter of time before he would leave."

"Now, did you talk to Geoff at any time?" Josh asked.

"Not really, though I was unfortunate enough to be on Action's Aftermath during his 'Captain Hollywood' phase."

"You complimented Leshawna on her performance in Island. Anything else you wanna add?"

"Well, I thought she was pretty nice...maybe even too nice. So I wasn't surprised with the whole spa thing in Action. And really, could you blame her for wanting some away? Between Duncan, Harold and Heather, anyone would've gone mad if they hung around them for an extended period of time. Plus, I was glad she gave Geoff his just desserts and made him snap back to himself. But World Tour is definitely her lowest point. How she didn't see through that eel is beyond me."

"Let's move onto the next person." Noah groaned as he saw Duncan's picture. "I seriously don't get the hype around him," he began. "I might understand Cody since he's nice and an 'underdog', but Duncan's nothing more than a bully. That's especially true in Action, where he constantly harassed Harold. I'm not saying the dweeb is innocent in that feud, but Duncan's grudge was completely blown out of proportion. He only got worse with time. I mean, he THREATENED Tyler into silence. That's pretty scummy."

"You didn't last long enough in Island to see Heather's worst deeds," Josh continued, "But you two did last fairly long together in World Tour."

"I still think our friendly host at the time favored the queen bee, so he did everything he could to keep her in, such as bending the rules to the challenges. Still, I will admit one thing about Heather: she usually didn't try to make things personal with her opponents. She was simply playing the game, though I will admit her so-called 'strategy' in Island was massively flawed. World Tour, on the other hand, was definitely her best run and she definitely worked for that win, hence why I decided to support her lawsuit against Chris. Plus, she sort of helped me catch onto Alejandro's schemes."

"Really? Do tell!"

"Well, it was after Germany and Leshawna's elimination that she decided to talk to me and the fellow members of Team Chris about the eel. While the others shrugged it off, I actually took interest in it. I asked her more, like why Alejandro would take a dive for her and why Team Victory kept conveniently losing. I also teased at Heather possibly liking him, which she tried to blatantly deny, but it was obvious she was crushing on him, so I wasn't shocked at her confession in the finale. We can get along in public, but it's a stretch to call her a friend."

"Now, what about Gwen? Do you have any thoughts on her?"

"Um...hard to say. She was okay in Island and I kinda felt bad about her diary being read aloud. But in Action and World Tour, she took a dip since she was so focused on her crushes than the game. And in All Stars, she seemed like a completely different person entirely. We don't really talk."

"Now we get to the good stuff. Many people found your friendship with Owen to be quite unexpected." Noah just chuckled in response. "The big goofball is just as kind as he is on TV," he admitted with a smile. "And I felt bad about his family getting into debt since he did win season one and should've kept his money. In World Tour, he tried to help me be more open to people so I wouldn't get cut early, and I tried to be honest regarding his relationship with Izzy. The guy deserved to hear the truth. I even tried to warn him about the eel in London, but you see how well that turned out due to Chris SCREWING with the rules! But it was thanks to Owen that I found my love of travel. When I heard about Ridonculous Race being a world voyage, I immediately signed up, and like I said, I tried to pick Eva first, but I eventually went with Owen, who was happy as hell to join my side again. And he...he is definitely the best wingman a guy could ask for. I even asked him to be my best man at me and Emma's wedding. We're still great friends to this day."

"Okay, that was pretty touching," Josh admitted as he wiped a tear away. "But what about Sierra now?"

"She's a stalker, plain and simple. But she also has a hard time with certain social ques, which I think gets overlooked a bit. I wouldn't say she's inherently bad, but I wouldn't be surprised if people ordered a restraining order on her."

"Oh, this one ought to be juicy! You've clearly expressed disdain for Alejandro."

"Yes, and with good reason. Remember when I said that Justin may be bad but he has some standards? Well, Alejandro is scummier than Justin and Heather combined. He tried to flirt with Bridgette, Lindsay AND Leshawna, even though they clearly had boyfriends. Well, Leshawna I wasn't sure of at the time, but the other two were more definite. He also took advantage of others while they needed genuine support, like DJ or even Courtney. Not even she deserves that. And when I tried to warn Owen about him, Alejandro somehow was watching the scene from the plane and even made ME out to be the bad guy!" Noah took a breath before continuing. "I don't have anything to do with him."

"Makes sense," Josh shrugged. "Now, did you have any interactions with the other two main gens?"

"Well, I spoke with Dave quite a bit and helped him after what happened with...that metal monstrosity. I don't really speak with the second cast, though."

"And finally, what are your thoughts on the new cast?"

"Well, the only one I really heard about was Millie, and I'll admit I relate to her a little. I was kinda glad she got as far as she did and made a genuine friend." Noah yawned before getting up. "Okay, I'm finished," he said with a bored expression. "Can I go now?"

"You know where the door is," Josh replied as Noah walked off, "And thank you for that dirt."

So, the snarker himself. Hopefully I did his interview justice. I mainly touched on his friendships with Eva, Izzy and Owen, added a bit of info on Katie, and expanded his thoughts on Justin and Alejandro. And there seems to be a bit of info about Lindsay that remains hidden. Hmm...

Next up will be the charming...handsome...hunk of a...agh! Snap out of it! Anyway, until next time, this is Dunsparce519 saying enjoy and have a good day!