Chapter 6 The Truth Hurts

The week leading up to their trip had been a bit hectic with getting everything ready before their trip to Portland, but by Friday morning Regina had decided to make a quick stop to drop off her finished canvas of the sea turtle to Ursula. She had been determined to get it finished before their trip this weekend and was pleased with how it turned out even if she had rushed it a bit. She had worked so hard on it, the range of different colors and intricate detailing of the turtle and reef challenged her. It was one of her best works. She loaded it into the Benz and drove out to the pier. She parked in front of the rescue center and pulled the canvas from the trunk before approaching the door. She knocked but received no answer.

She had texted Ursula last night that she was stopping by. She wondered if she had forgotten. She was just about to call her when the door finally opened and to her complete shock, it wasn't Ursula standing at the threshold. Her eyes widened and she nearly dropped the wrapped canvas.

"Regina?" Mal whispered, her voice shaking as she stood before her, frozen in her shock as well. They both just looked at each other, unsure of what to even say. After a moment, Regina finally regained control. She cleared her throat in an effort to find her voice and felt so awkward.

"Mal? What are you doing here?"

"I… This isn't…" Mal stumbled on her words, unable to answer her. Her cheeks flushed red as if she were embarrassed of being caught. Regina frowned in concern at the strange reaction. The usually confident woman who was her friend and therapist seemed absolutely mortified and at a loss for an explanation.

"Mal?" Ursula's voice sounded from somewhere behind her. "Is that our breakfast order?"

Ursula's voice seemed to have shaken Mal from her shocked daze, because she moved aside and beckoned for Regina to come in, and then shut the door behind her. She looked around at the messy front office. There was a desk covered with paperwork and a filing cabinet that looked as if it were bursting with folders and paperwork. The room was dark, the shades closed. Regina looked towards the hall that led to the rescue enclosures.

"Not exactly, dear. You have a visitor."

"Oh… shoot! I forgot…" They both heard the other woman grumbling as she came down the hall to meet them.

"Ursula, I just wanted to drop off the surprise I was telling you about," Regina stated, handing over the wrapped canvas.

"Aww hun, you really shouldn't have," Ursula smiled, looking touched at the gesture as she took it and started unwrapping it. She gasped in surprise as the painting came into view. She held up the canvas to take a look at the beautiful artwork Regina had created.

"It's beautiful, Regina! Come see this, Mal," Ursula insisted, turning the canvas around for her to see. Mal came forward from where she had been standing silently by the door. In fact, Regina could feel a stiff discomfort coming off her in waves. She watched her as Mal seemed to shake herself from her frozen state, taking a breath and cautiously approaching Ursula. Regina frowned in concern when she didn't seem to meet anyone's gaze. She had never seen her like this before and it scared her to see no trace of the confidence Mal usually held herself in.

Although, as Mal gazed at the painting, she seemed to shake herself from whatever it was that had overcome her. She blinked away the detached haze in her blue eyes, and instead they shined in fascination. She reached out to touch the painting, ghosting her fingers over the sea turtle's face in awe.

"Wow, it looks even more exquisite than the sketch you had shown me. The details are astounding," Mal commented, her voice genuine. She still wouldn't look at anyone and Regina wondered if this strange behavior was due to her catching her here at the rescue with Ursula. She wondered just how close the two women have become since the night they met.

"I've been practicing," she shrugged. "I have the feeling I've interrupted something. I better go."

"You weren't interrupting anything," Mal denied quickly, almost nervously. She remained rigid, still unable to meet anyone's gaze in the room. Ursula regarded her with a look of the same concern Regina felt.

"Malory, are you ok?" she asked, setting the canvas down so that it leaned against the desk, before approaching her. She took Mal's hands and Regina's heart melted as Ursula reached up and gently tucked her hair behind her ear. It was done in such a caring manner that it brought Mal to finally look at the woman in front of her. The gesture seemed to have snapped her out of whatever had made her shut down. She took a deep breath and smiled at Ursula, squeezing her hands in return.

"I'm fine," she nodded, much more calmly now. She looked over at Regina, no sign of her earlier distress. Instead, a familiar calm reflected in her blue eyes. "I'm sorry, dear. I don't know what came over me."

Regina had experienced enough trauma to know something had triggered her. Something pushed Mal into a dark headspace that only she was able to decipher because of their similar traumas. Suddenly, it didn't matter that she was due to leave for Portland tomorrow. She couldn't just leave without checking in on her friend first. She didn't want to leave off on such awkward terms and decided maybe dinner tonight might be best if she was up for it.

"No need to apologize," she nodded. "Are you leaving town tonight?"

"No, actually. I was going to tell you at our next session. I'm taking a break from work and I'm in the process of renting a loft here on the pier for a while. I hired someone to care for the horses while I'm gone."

"I managed to convince her she needed a vacation," Ursula chuckled as she went to pick up the canvas and make room for it on her messy desk.

"You didn't convince me of anything," Mal rolled her eyes, sounding more like herself. "I was already planning one."

"You deserve one," Regina stated. Despite the weird behavior she had just witnessed, it wasn't lost on her how exhausted Mal seemed to be lately in the past weeks. Since she's known her, she never knew her to take a break. "Do you want to meet up for dinner tonight? My treat?"

"I'd love to," Mal nodded, her eyes brimming with something like relief. Regina wasn't sure what was going on with her friend, and she hoped that maybe dinner and a drink would help her to open up. She wished them goodbye and proceeded to head out. What she didn't count on was Mal calling out for her just before she could get into the Benz.

"Regina! Wait!" She turned to see Mal rushing towards her. "I'm sorry if I was a bit rude back there. You just caught me by surprise, that's all."

"You weren't," Regina shook her head. "You just seemed to have frozen. Are you ok?"

"Can we talk tonight, as friends and not as your therapist?" she asked nervously. "There's something I really need to confide in with you, if it's ok?"

Regina nodded, suddenly more than just concerned. Mal seemed shaken and not just at the fact that Regina walked in on her and Ursula. There was a look in her eyes that Regina recognized all too well. Fear.

What was she afraid of?

"You can talk to me about anything," Regina reassured her. "You started out as my therapist, but now, you're my friend first. Whatever it is that made you shut down back there, you can talk to me about it."

"Thank you," she whispered, sounding relieved.

"Have you moved into your new loft yet?" She was actually kind of excited that Mal would be staying here in Storybrooke for a while. She always missed her when she would stay away too long.

"I'm moving in by next weekend. I'm at Granny's Inn for the time being."

"I'll pick you up at seven?" she asked with a smile. "I know a great Italian place."

"Sounds like a plan," Mal replied, her smile finally reaching her eyes and looking more like herself. Regina felt a bit of relief as she pulled her into a hug before wishing her goodbye. As she headed home, she thought about what she had just witnessed. Mal had fallen into her fears, into a trigger that Regina suspected had to do with her ex-girlfriend. She wondered if that vile cruel woman was the reason she seemed to be hiding her new relationship with Ursula.

When Regina made it home, Emma was already packing and doing laundry, thanks to her insistence this morning about getting ready for their trip now instead of waiting till the last minute like Emma had planned to. She was in the laundry room, loading the dryer when she came in.

"Hey, babe? How did it go?" Emma asked, looking so adorable in the bandana she tied her hair up in and the oversized shirt and yoga pants she was wearing. She looked so comfy, Regina kind of felt bad for making her do chores so early after breakfast.

"She loved it," she said, unsure if she should share what she had discovered. Little did she know that Emma had a similar run in with Mal a few weeks back.

"What's the face?"

"What face?"

"You seem a bit disturbed."

Regina let out a sigh because she knew she needed to tell Emma, otherwise it would just eat away at her. It wasn't the fact that she had caught Mal with Ursula. She was actually very happy that they were seeing each other. It was the look in Mal's eyes. She had been terrified that she had been caught with Ursula.

"Mal was there."

"At this point, I think it's safe to say they're dating," Emma chuckled, not at all surprised.

"It's not that," Regina said. "It's the fact that she was terrified of me finding her there. I mean, at the festival she disappeared with Ursula without saying hi to anyone. I think she's hiding her relationship. I think she's afraid of people knowing."

Emma threw the last of the clothes into the dryer, tossed in a fabric softener sheet and closed the lid. She started the machine and then wordlessly took Regina's hand and led her out into the living room where she already had a pile of clean clothes on the couch ready to be folded and put away. Regina sat with her and started helping her fold and placing them in neat stacks back into the hamper. They were mostly Henry's clothes. They had sent him to school so he could gather any early assignments he'll need to complete while they were in Portland.

"Regina, she has a past," Emma reminded her. "I don't know anything about it, but I know you do. Maybe she's afraid because of it. Maybe this new relationship with Ursula brings up bad memories."

"I was thinking the same thing," Regina responded, thinking of the night in the cabin when Mal had shared her dark past with her. She thought of Cruella, the woman who had abused Mal and murdered her dog. "I invited her out to dinner tonight, so that we can talk before we leave tomorrow. And I also thought it would be a good idea for you to spend some quality time with Henry. He's waiting for you to have that talk with him."

"I know, I guess it's better to do it now then wait until we're on the road. Regina, I don't want him to look at me differently or even think for a second that he was a mistake."

"He knows why you had to give him up. I thought you talked to him about it."

"I did," she nodded, looking guilty and Regina tilted her head in confusion. What wasn't she saying? "I told him the truth, but I may have lied as well." She immediately averted her gaze as if she were afraid of seeing her reaction. Her heart dropped in her chest because she had a feeling, this couldn't be good. She would never be angry at Emma for not sharing parts of her past, because she understood how hard it can be. There were still some very dark parts of her past that she still hasn't been able to share either.

"About what?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper in fearful anticipation.

"About his father," she mumbled as if she were afraid of her reaction.

"You said he didn't know, that we have nothing to worry about."

"And that's true," Emma nodded, finally looking at her again. Shame reflected in her green eyes and Regina couldn't understand why. "But I told Henry he died as a hero."

"What?!" she hissed, furious at this revelation. It was one thing not to share parts of her past, but to lie about it to their son. Her protectiveness for their son flared and Emma immediately knew she fucked up because she winced back. "Emma Swan, how could you!" she exclaimed, throwing the shirt she had been folding at her.

"Hey! I know! I know! I regretted it the moment I told him, but he was asking about him and he had this hope of him being some kind of hero. So that's what I told him. It was around the time of the fire at city hall when Leopold was running the election for deputy. Henry was depressed and I just wanted him to know there were still heroes out there. How could I tell him that his father was the one to put me in prison?"

"Why didn't you come to me?" she snarled, desperately trying to reign in her temper. She wasn't in the mood for a fight right now, especially for something that Emma had done a few years ago.

"Well, we weren't exactly talking at the time, and then things just escalated, and Henry never asked about him again."

"Well, now it's time, Emma. He's old enough to understand. You can't keep protecting him from the truth."

"You're right, I'm sorry," she sighed, sounding guilty for not being honest to either her or Henry. Emma seemed to be pouting as they spent the next few moments silently folding clothes. She was clearly beating herself up over it. Despite learning the truth, it did invoke a curiosity about the man who was Henry's father. She had never asked Emma about it because she knew it was something her girlfriend was unable to talk about.

"Emma?" she asked, much more softly this time, coaxing Emma to look at her apprehensively. "Who is he?" she asked, her voice gentle and far from the anger that had laced her words earlier.

"Do you really want to know?" she asked.

Regina nodded, hoping she could trust her with this. She wanted her to feel like she could come to her with her past, even when she had been angry earlier for lying to Henry. She wished Emma could just break down her walls and let both of them in, and now years later after they had become a family, Regina was starting to realize just how high they were. Emma hardly talked about her past, but she could see the way it haunted her in small moments.

"I was 17," she started, her hands busy as she continued folding. Her green eyes were focused on her task. Regina frowned in concern, her hands absentmindedly folding clothes as if on autopilot. "I had run away from my last group home in Boston and was trying to make it on the streets on my own. I was just a kid at the time with no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was only after one thing, finding a home."

She took a deep shaky breath as if she were trying to hold back tears. Regina stopped what she was doing and placed a warm comforting hand on her thigh, squeezing her in an effort to soothe her. Emma finally looked at her with teary green eyes full of despair. She could see a deep loneliness that came with growing up alone.

"The first guy that came along offered me that, but I couldn't see my heart was just being played. I was so naive and vulnerable, and I believed every word that came out of his mouth. I met him while trying to steal a car."

"The bug?" she asked, surprised and Emma nodded with a wistful smile. She continued folding the clothes as if she simply needed to keep her hands busy.

"I was in Portland at the time stealing a stolen car. He was asleep in the back seat after I drove off with it. His name was Bae." She was quiet for a moment as if lost in the memory. As if she was starting to remember the love she had held for the man who had broken her heart and betrayed her. "He offered me everything I ever wanted, a home, a family who loved me even if it was just the two of us living on the street. We got by stealing and hopping motel rooms before room service got to them. It wasn't much but it was the most I've ever had. Eventually, I fell in love, and we planned to run to Tallahassee together and settle down, but then that was when he finally told me the truth. Months ago, he had assisted in stealing watches that were being transported between banks and they were hidden in a storage locker at a train station. I had a bad feeling and insisted he'd stay, and we could get out of Maine without the watches. He convinced me it was a solid plan, and it was our only option."

Emma took a deep breath, her hands had ceased in folding clothes, and she was merely fidgeting with the shirt she had in her lap. Regina gently stilled them, taking a hand and turning her palm up to clasp her fingers into hers in a show of comfort. She could see how hard it was for Emma to share this time in her life. When she had thought she met her true love and had instead been blindsided in the worst way. Emma took another deep breath as if she were desperately trying to keep her emotions from breaking through the carefully structured wall she kept up.

"I'm here," Regina whispered, her soft words coaxing Emma to finally meet her eyes with a small smile. She reached up, pulling her hand from Regina's grasp so that she could cup her chin. Regina leaned into the warm touch of Emma's fingers, and she looked into her gaze with warm loving green eyes.

"I would do it all again if it meant it got me here with you and Henry. Talking about it hurts, but I've made peace with it. I'm just sorry I didn't tell you sooner. And that I lied to Henry."

Regina smiled into the kiss Emma gently pressed against her lips. They spent a few silent moments, getting lost in the passion and emotions of the moment until Emma was finally pulling away and moving closer so she was leaning against her with her head on her shoulder. The clothes laid around them scattered and forgotten as she seemed to mentally prepare herself for the next part of her story. Regina held her against her, rubbing her hand up and down her arm.

"He convinced me we were safe. He was going to get the watches and meet me under the bridge. I should have known something was wrong when he took too long. The next thing I knew a cop approached me and told me Bae had tipped them off. He told them that I stole the watches, and as proof, I had one on my wrist that he had left me with." She took a hold of her wrist as if she could still feel the cool metal of the watch. Regina couldn't imagine what that must have felt like. Standing there, getting arrested because the man you thought loved you had set you up to take the fall. Regina kissed the top of her head, feeling her snuggle deeper into her. She was quiet, and she had a feeling she was done talking about the past. It was too painful and she more than understood that.

"How does August play into this?" she asked, deviating from Bae.

"He refused to post my bail. He told me I was better off in jail and then he disappeared. I never saw him again, until now. He left me even after I found out I was pregnant."

"Is this why he's trying to help find your mother?" Regina asked, her tone a bit fiery out of protectiveness for her love. Emma nodded against her shoulder and Regina could see her discreetly reaching up to wipe away what seemed like an escaped tear.

"I don't know if I can forgive him. I expect for him to disappear again. That's what he does. Throughout my whole childhood I had someone and then I'd be alone again. He is a selfish man with a good heart."

Regina took her hand in hers and brought it to her lips for a sweet kiss.

"You're not alone anymore," she said softly.

Emma felt a warm affection ignite her. How could she love this woman any more than she already did? How had she convinced herself that Regina might leave her for her insecurities, but then that's just it. Insecurities that played with her mind and blinded her to what was right in front of her. She had a family that would never give up on her and she needed to stop being afraid to let them in. She needed to tell Henry the truth even if he might hate her for a while.

That night, once they were all packed and ready to leave the next morning, Emma ordered some pizza and planned to have a game night with Henry, hoping it might soften the inevitable blow. Regina was worried. She nearly canceled her plans with Mal, but Emma convinced her to go. She had it under control. She dug herself into the lie and she was the one who needed to tell him the truth. After all, if she had thought her parents were dead, she would want to know the truth. She spent her whole life wishing for her parents. It made her sick that she hadn't been truthful to their son.

Henry came home from school, excited about having a game night, but once Regina left, he looked at Emma with a look that meant he was on to her.

"What?" she asked, sitting beside him on the couch with two plates of pizza. He had been getting their game ready. She handed him the plate and he took it without taking his eyes off of her.

"Pizza and game night the night before we're waking up early to drive to Portland?" he asked. "How did you convince mom?"

"I didn't have to," she shrugged, taking a bite, her heart racing because it was time for the talk. Harry narrowed his eyes at her and to her relief he turned towards the tv and started the game. She had bought herself time.

After getting her ass kicked and a full box of pizza later, Henry shut off the game. He looked at Emma with those imploring eyes again. It killed her sometimes on how insightful he was for a teenager.

"Mom, I know you want to talk about something. Does it have to do with that man coming over?"

Emma sighed, knowing this was it. She put the controller down and shifted so she was facing him.

"Henry, that man is my foster brother, August. We went through the system together. He was the one who found me as a baby…"

She told him everything she had shared with Regina, and just like his adoptive mother, he was devastated to hear about her past and then the tough decision she had to make when she found out she was pregnant with him. As curious as he was, she could see him perking up as she talked about Bae. He was longing to know more about him, because in his mind, his father was a hero.

But then as she told him about the watches, and how he had betrayed her, that curiosity was quickly turning to confusion. He frowned as if having trouble deciphering her words. It didn't make sense to him.

"Mom, this doesn't… I thought he was a firefighter! You never told me he was a thief that let you go to jail."

"Henry, listen…"

"Wait… he was never a firefighter," he came to the hard realization on his own. His face was devastated, and Emma felt like her heart broke in two. She felt like the worst mother especially when she knew exactly how it felt to not know the truth about her own parents.

"I… I… wasn't exactly telling you the truth, and I'm so sorry. At the time, I just… I wanted you to have hope that there are good people in this world. I didn't know how to tell you your father was… He broke my heart, Henry."

"You lied," his tone was cold, and he stood from his seat.

"I was trying to protect you," she said, standing to face him. He shook his head in anger and disbelief.

"You lied to me!" he snapped. "You're just like her!"

Her? Who was he referring to too? Emma frowned in confusion, not exactly understanding and Henry must have seen it in her face.

"Like Regina!" The fiery accusation was like a knife in her heart. She thought they had overcome those days. Apparently he still had some anger towards her. "She used to lie to me all the time! And now you're lying!"

He sneered in disgust and ran for the stairs.

"Henry!"

He ignored her and she was met with the sound of his bedroom door slamming so loud it shook the house.