Title: insatiable
Pairing(s): Bonnie/Damon, Rebekah/Stefan, Matt/Katherine, Caroline/Tyler, Jeremy/Anna, Elena/Loneliness, mentions of Bonnie/Jeremy, Damon/Bree, Bonnie/Klaus (One-sided), ect.
Summary: While recruiting Bonnie to join their road trip to Chicago to retrieve Stefan, Damon is lured into a trap set by a former lover and cursed to desire the one thing he believes that he cannot have, while Bonnie is caught in the crossfire.
Warnings: Non-Canon, Language, Slightly Dub-Con, Sexual Content, Explicit Sexual Content, etc.
Author's Note: Firstly thanks for all of the love in the reviews. I wrote this with one of my cats in my lap and he kept pawing my laptop and so I am blaming him for errors. I did some minor edits but I apologize if anything slipped past me. Alright so hopefully you all enjoy this part!
part two || spellbound
"If you ever looked at me once with what I know is in you, I would be your slave."
― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
Atlanta, Georgia
Bonnie Bennett finished packing the last of her belongings as she prepared to check out of her hotel room. She had showered and changed, the clothing that she'd worn when she'd been held captive tossed out. Though, Bree had cleaned them and her, they were still tainted by the experience and so Bonnie exchanged them in for a blue summer dress with a wraparound skirt and a slit up the side.
Bonnie zipped the up her final suitcase and did a quick sweep of the room to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. She had just decided that she was clear for checkout when the shower stopped running in the bathroom. Bree hadn't taken the time or gave enough of a damn to attend to Damon's state before she'd fled and cleanup had been necessary for him as well. The blood and vervain laced tequila had destroyed his clothes. Elena had reluctantly gone out to get Damon some replacements, which left Damon and Bonnie alone to prepare for their departure to Chicago.
Damon had decided that they would abandon the rental that Bonnie had gotten for the road trip that summer in favor of his Camaro and so Bonnie had to cram all her belongings into the trunk and backseat.
Bonnie looked down as the black Bombay cat she'd gotten in Salem rubbed itself against her legs as she dragged her suitcase to sit by the door. Bonnie set the suitcase down and bent over to pick the cat up. "Hi girl," she grinned, "You could tell I could use some cheering up can't you, Nyx? Ever intuitive." As her familiar, the cat could sense her emotions and Bonnie was sure it could read her inner conflict as she rubbed her hand along its back.
They had survived their encounter with Bree but whether Bonnie wanted to dwell on it or not the situation was still very much outside of their control. Bree was who knew where and without her their hands were tied as far as the curse went. Bree's feelings and hatred toward Damon were valid but Bonnie was still irritated, angry and betrayed at how she had handled the situation and that she had taken no issue with taking Bonnie down with Damon. It wasn't the first time Bonnie had indirectly suffered thanks to someone else's bad decisions or because someone else's life was in danger but this time was considerably different.
She still couldn't really wrap her mind around the fact that Damon had come for her in the first place. She remembered a time when he would sooner let her die and cut his losses and then take advantage of Elena's grief after they got rid of her body. The Damon that saved her wasn't that Damon, however. He had been so concerned for her wellbeing and so adamant that she not pay for his mistakes and she realized for the first time that he actually did care about her beyond their mutual agreement to tolerate one another. She'd gotten an inkling of it when he'd helped her fake her death the night when she had taken on Klaus the first time but even that she was convinced he had done for Elena's sake and not due to any care for Bonnie outright.
To find out that not only did he give a damn but he had enough repressed and unresolved feelings towards Bonnie for Bree to be able to turn them against him was something Bonnie still found hard to comprehend.
She knew that those back home would have plenty to say about the situation and so she wasn't sure how much to reveal and to who. If they knew the full extent of it they would judge her actions either way but they would judge her even more were she to let Damon die so she supposed it didn't matter. She was damned if she did and damned if she didn't. She would do what needed to be done either way. Even if what needed to be done was Damon.
Bonnie kissed Nyx on the top of the head and then placed the cat in her carrier before shutting the cage door. As she stood upright Bonnie heard the door to the bathroom open.
There was a thrill that went through her at the sound that Bonnie hated to even think that Damon was responsible for. However, it made sense in a way. When she and Jeremy had started he had been what she needed. Something sweet and uncomplicated. It hadn't been passionate but she had loved him and it had been something safe. It had been something that kept her connected to those around her, if she were with Elena's little brother she would still be in the orbit, and even when she was left out she wouldn't be on the outside alone. He'd helped her gain confidence in herself and her magic, he'd even been protective of her for a time, but she was at a stage where she didn't need someone to do that for her anymore.
She didn't need outside reinforcement in terms of her powers because she had been taught by some of the best all summer and proven time and time again even before the summer that she was a powerhouse in her own right.
She didn't need a love that was soft and sweet anymore either. It had been a good thing when she had been suffering and lost. When she was still grieving her Grams and feeling isolated and separated from her friends. When she was still trying to figure out what and who she was. When she had needed someone to help her feel worth a damn and all she had gotten before was manipulation and rejection and not just from Luka and Ben. However, she had grown out of that space where she was naïve and looking for any kind of positive reinforcement to stave off her loneliness and her abandonment issues. The head space where she was grateful for someone to finally see her hidden in Elena and Caroline's shadows.
Her Grams had always told her that she was a beacon and until she owned that others would do everything they could to outshine her because they saw her as a threat. Bonnie hadn't believed her. "People treat you how you let them," Sheila had said, "You keep letting them dim your light eventually it'll go out. When you learn to stop trying to keep everyone else's fire lit and to stoke your own flames, yours will be bright enough that even those who feel threatened will know better than to try you."
Bonnie had been dismissive of it then, young and lacking in understanding. She had been dismissive of a lot of things her Grams had said while she was alive but now that she was gone she was able to look back, take stock and see value in the words.
Bonnie was done living in the shadows. She had stepped out of them that summer and she had done things she'd never thought she'd be able to do on her own. Going from state to state. Learning about all kinds of magic. Gracing Gloria's stage. Getting attention and recognition even if in Bree's case the outcome had been bad. She didn't want to go backwards.
Bonnie's flame had been ignited and if she were to try with Jeremy, it would burn him or he'd unintentionally try to stifle it so that things would go back to the way they were. Perhaps even intentionally. Bonnie expected the same from Elena as well. That she would intentionally or unintentionally try to snuff it out.
Bonnie didn't have the time to have those kind of people around her. She needed people that would stoke the flame. People that would ignite and inspire her. If she were even in the market for a romance, it needed to fit that mold especially. She didn't want to go back to something docile and sweet when she had yet to experience something passionate and heated. Something that would keep the flames lit. Not that she considered what she was about to embark on with Damon a romance of any kind, but it was something to move her forward instead of backwards.
Bonnie turned to look at Damon and as she saw him standing in the doorway of the bathroom in nothing but a towel she swallowed. She watched the trail of water drops that fell from his hair down his chest and then lower until they met the towel around his waist. When Bonnie's gaze went back up to meet his eyes the look that Bonnie saw told her that Damon was more than willing to stoke the fire. As much as she hated to admit it, he was also definitely able to do just that if the heat pooling the pit of her stomach was any indication. Damon wouldn't be afraid of whatever it was that Bonnie was becoming and she knew that spell or no spell he was self-destructive enough to walk right into the flames and let them consume him. Let her consume him. The spell had just given him the means and excuse in which to do it and her the means to justify letting it happen.
Damon smirked as if he knew what she was thinking and Bonnie shook her head as she broke eye contact. Her eyes traveled down his chest again and she frowned as she noted that he still had red patches on his skin from the vervain burns.
"Are you still in pain?" Bonnie asked.
Damon shrugged as he walked over to sit on the end of the hotel bed. "Nothing that won't heal eventually," he said, "She lace the vervain with something? It usually runs its course by now."
Bonnie was surprised that he hadn't teased her for staring or whined about the pain in some childish attempt to get her attention but she saw the look in his eyes again and she felt like she knew why. Underneath all of that longing and passion at the surface of it was fear. He was still waiting to be rejected. This was too new. Her rejection hadn't meant something to him before but it would now and Bonnie wasn't sure what to do with that.
"She used Rennet, also known as winter cherry it's in the nightshade family," Bonnie said as she walked across the room and began to rifle through one of her bags, "Helps with longevity when combined with certain herbs. Vervain is one of them. Not exactly ideal for vampires. But if you combine it with herbs like Aloe Vera, Comfrey, Echinacea and chamomile it makes this nifty little paste that accelerates healing and it smells pretty good too." Bonnie lifted up a jar of the healing paste triumphantly as she pulled it out of her bag.
"Look at you sounding like a page out of Witchipedia," Damon grinned as Bonnie walked over to him, "I guess you did learn a lot this summer."
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You'd be surprised," Bonnie said, smiling back. Her smile as a bit on the nervous side. In spite of everything that had happened, it was just surreal to be standing in front of Damon sitting on the edge of a bed wearing nothing but a towel.
Bonnie raised an eyebrow as Damon's hands shot out and gripped her hips. He spread his legs and positioned Bonnie to stand in between them. "What are you doing?" Bonnie murmured.
"Thought you might need a better view to expect my wounds," Damon responded his tone nonchalant but his eyes once again preparing for rejection.
Bonnie opened the jar and then set the jar and the lid on the bed next to Damon. He watched her closely as she scooped some of the paste up with her fingers and smeared it across her palms. She stepped in closer as she began to rub the paste over the red marks on his chest. She supposed he could have done it on his own as the paste was already enchanted and would have had the desired effect either way but neither of them pointed that out as Bonnie continued to rub her hands over his skin.
"It does smell good," Damon whispered. He closed his eyes and sighed as Bonnie worked the healing ointment into his skin and she watched as the burns began to mend. He pulled Bonnie further into his body until she fell against his chest. Instead of pulling away like he expected, Bonnie simply leaned into him, wrapping one arm around his neck and using the other hand to rub ointment on the burns on his face. "You're different," he pronounced, "The old you wouldn't have touched me with a ten foot pole, even if my life did depend on it. In fact being the bane of your existence you would've watched me desiccate while eating popcorn and laughing."
Bonnie shrugged that time, she wouldn't deny it. "Well the old you wouldn't have come for me and you'd definitely wouldn't have owned up to any responsibility you had with all the bullshit you pulled with Bree," she replied, "And I being the bane of your existence would have been the last person you'd offer to sacrifice yourself for. People change."
Damon frowned as Bonnie rubbed ointment along his jaw and she stilled at the expression. "You were never the bane of my existence," he said, "Were you annoying? Yes. Judgmental? All the time. Ridiculously moral? To the point where I had a running bet with Stefan that you'd eventually leave and join a convent. I've been frustrated with you. Angry at you. Felt threatened by you. But I've never hated you. You've hated me and it was easier to respond in kind than seek approval from someone so good they'd never give it to me. That and I resented you, because no matter how much you threatened and judged and hated me, I couldn't help but covet you. I wanted you, so much so that I had to cram every desirous thought I ever had about you into the darkest recesses of my mind and lock it up tight just to keep from acting on it."
Bonnie shifted nervously and she was brought even closer to him unintentionally. "That's the spell talking not you," she breathed.
"The spell amplified the feelings I had before, Bonnie," Damon said, reaching up to grab her chin and forcing her to look into his eyes, "It didn't create them. I'm telling you this because that chamber that I had locked away from the time I first saw you has been opened and every thought I have ever had about you has been cycling through my head over and over and over again. Every time I've wanted to kiss you. Touch you. Fuck you. Every time I've wanted to turn your hate into something else. Every time I've wanted to taste you. Make you wet. Make you scream. Make your body shake and writhe underneath me. On top of me. Riding me. Sucking me. Letting me bend you over. Begging me. Everything is playing over and over and over and over. It won't stop. No matter what I do. No matter how much you give in and I take from you, it'll only get worse until we find Bree."
As he spoke he ran his hands up and down Bonnie's back. Bonnie could feel his hardness pressing up against her stomach through the towel. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips and she watched as his eyes watched the movement.
Bonnie felt her pulse quicken and she squirmed under his touch as his words washed over her. No one had ever spoken to her like that before or about her that way that she knew of. This was something new for Bonnie but not entirely unwelcomed and not something that she could say that she wasn't affected by either.
"It's weird," Bonnie breathed, "hearing all that. Especially coming from you." Weird wasn't the right word. Exhilarating possibly. Tantalizing maybe. Arousing most definitely. But this was Damon and she knew that she was already going being drawn in faster than she thought possible.
Damon shook his head. "You're just not used to hearing it from anyone and that should tell you something about Baby Gilbert," he frowned, "But toddlers aside I would have told you sooner had I thought you'd welcome it coming from me. Honestly, I don't see why you're that surprised. You're beautiful, powerful and sexy. If you weren't also intimidating and moral you'd probably hear this kind of stuff all the time. Though, if someone were to say it to you now other than me there'd be problems. Problems of the bloody and lethal kind." Damon was sure the talk of violence would scare her off but she stayed put. Not as moral as she once was then, he thought.
Bonnie eyed him seriously. His tone was soft and sure. Even in his threats, there was none of that crazed edge or even the sarcasm that she had grown used to hearing where he was concerned. "You're so calm," she sighed, "For you I mean. No tantrums. No outbursts. No yelling. Being with me. This spell. It doesn't bother you?"
"It would if you'd rejected me like Bree planned," he admitted, "But you didn't and now I get to act on some of those thoughts I mentioned so why would it?"
Bonnie should have known better. No matter how much he had professed to love Katherine or Elena, he'd never been one to keep it in his pants. "I guess it wouldn't be a problem for a guy to think about sex all the time," Bonnie said, "Especially you."
"It's not just those thoughts though," Damon revealed, "If it were I might have been able to shut them out by now. Wanting to fuck someone isn't something that will torment you if you let it. Sex is sex and if it were that simple I could get over it. I would have gotten over it, long before Bree turned into some psycho zombie bitch that was hell-bent on using it against me," Bonnie raised a brow at his assessment of Bree and he sighed. "Don't look at me like that. I know I treated her like shit but after what she did to you she'll be lucky if she escapes our next encounter alive. Anyway, Bree's plan would have failed before it started if all I'd thought about was having sex with you a few times. Since we're being honest and managing to do so without trying to kill each other. Which for us is a miracle. I can admit, there's other things I want. Other thoughts that have crossed my mind."
He was right. For some reason they were transitioning into whatever this was so smoothly. They'd been at odds for so long Bonnie had expected them to be combative even in this sense but they weren't. Things just seemed to fit and she wondered if it was because the underlining tension was finally getting some kind of resolution or because of the changes she had gone through over the summer or the spell or some combination of all of it.
"Other thoughts like what?" Bonnie asked, keeping her own thoughts to herself.
Damon hesitated. If it was something that he wanted to hold back even in this state, Bonnie wasn't sure that she wanted to hear it. Still she listened intently as he spoke. "I've thought about making you laugh. Not at me but with me. I've thought about having real conversations and not just sparring matches. I've thought about waking up with you in my bed. I've thought about being the brother you chose to have your little bond of friendship with instead of Stefan. I've thought about tasting your blood again. Thought about hurting you. Thought about making you feel so good that you become obsessed with me. I've thought about things that would make you roll your eyes but also things that would terrify you. I've been holding back so much when it comes to you Bonnie, I don't know what will happen if I let it out."
Bonnie wasn't sure what to say and all that came out when she opened her mouth was, "You said you'd only thought about me in passing." It was a dumb thing to say in the face of all that he had revealed. Bonnie didn't know how she felt about all of it but she knew that her body was responding at the very least.
"Do you really think I would have gone into all of this shit with Elena in the room? Nothing between us has anything to do with her and it's none of her business what I'm feeling or for whom. We're not together and this spell had an unexpected perk of putting whatever I was starting to feel for her on the backburner and even if it didn't I wouldn't want her involved. This is between you and me. Spell or no spell," Damon replied his hands moving down her bare legs and then up again, just beneath the hem of her dress to touch the back of her knees. "So I did what needed to be done. I lied."
Clearly, Bonnie thought. When Bree had said that his feelings for Bonnie were dark, repressed and complicated she obviously hadn't been lying.
"So I'll ask you again," he said holding her gaze, "Do you want me to fight this? I've done it before and I'd try to do it again if that's what you wanted. It's worse now. So much worse that it's taking everything in me to stay this composed but I would fight it if you asked me to."
Bonnie bit her lip, debating on her answer, knowing what she now knew. "I didn't know you were capable of that much restraint." The statement was more to buy her time than anything else.
He was saying without outright saying that he would let himself die if it came down to it, if this wasn't what she wanted. Bonnie couldn't believe that this was Damon that she was talking to. She wasn't sure how much of it was the spell and how much of it was really him. It was unnerving either way.
"With the right motivation I can do and be a lot of things," he answered.
His words might've frightened someone else. They might've even scared her at one point but Bonnie wasn't afraid. A part of her was wound up. A part of her was flattered. A part of her was nervous. A lot of was eager. A bigger part of her was aroused. His words had stimulated something within her that she couldn't quite name.
She hadn't thought about him as much as he had her, unmistakably, but everything he'd said brought a different thought to life. Thoughts that she might've shied away from under any other circumstances. She had her own motives but at the end of the day she wouldn't let him die and if they acted out some of his thoughts in the meantime it would just be an itch that got scratched until they found Bree. Once Bree lifted the spell it would be over and Bonnie would've done something reckless without much consequence for once and instead of endangering someone's life, like everyone else seemed to do when they went off the rails, she would have saved it. She could save him, and they could get whatever this was between them out of their system in the meantime.
"If there's something that you think I might not want to happen," Bonnie said, "Tell me first. As for the rest, I've never been shy about telling you if you do something I don't like. I'm not going to start holding back now. Other than that, I want you to act on how you feel. You said you responded based on how I treated you before. When I hated you." At his nod, Bonnie continued, "You've been touching me this whole time, talking about fucking me." Bonnie watched as Damon's eyes closed again and she traced her fingertips along his jaw. "Have I pushed you away? Have I looked even a little disgusted? Have I made some kind of sarcastic remark? Have I rejected you yet?"
Damon shook his head. "No you haven't," he answered and his tone showed that he was still marveling at the fact.
Having him acting only on what she wanted would give her some sense of control. For the moment he was agreeable to it and though she wasn't sure how much longer he would continue to be, she was hoping they'd find Bree before she would have to figure out what would happen when he wasn't.
"If acting according to how I responded to you before worked then, when I hated you," Bonnie uttered, Damon's eyes were still shut as Bonnie leaned forward,"then that's what we'll do now. Open your eyes. Look at me. Act on what you see. If you're right you'll get the response you want and if you're wrong you'll have worse things to worry about than a few vervain burns."
"Playing games, huh?" Damon smiled as his eyes opened, "I guess we may as well have fun with this spell if we have to deal with the consequences. Not that I'm complaining. At all. I like this new Bonnie. Or maybe not new. Maybe there was just more to the old you than met the eye."
Bonnie nodded. "More than I was ever willing to show you especially."
"Well this spell has more perks than downsides so far, if this you is coming out. Bree's revenge plot sucked ass," Damon laughed.
"Debatable," Bonnie responded, "I could still leave you to desiccate. Especially if you're not that good in bed."
Damon raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said when it came to more than kissing you wanted to find Bree before we had to deal with it."
Bonnie leaned forward and used his words against him. "I lied," she said, "Figured I'd save us both the headache. You're not the only one who knows how to code talk in front of Elena. I've known her a lot longer than you have and I knew how she'd react. And like you said it wasn't exactly something I wanted to discuss in front of her."
"I no longer care about that so you don't need to either," Damon said. "Say what you want in front of whoever you want. I don't give damn about what anyone says. This is between me and you. Remember that."
Bonnie's eyes narrowed. If Elena was taking a back seat in Damon's book the spell was definitely stronger than she thought. "Going along with this is a terrible idea," Bonnie said talking more to herself than him.
"Extraordinarily awful," Damon nodded. Damon was smiling in a way that showed her he felt the opposite and it was an almost endearing sight.
"Ready to guess what I want?" Bonnie queried. If he were wrong they would have to come up with another rule of thumb for their interactions. However, Bonnie didn't think that he'd be wrong. At that point her pulse was thundering, her breath was stuttered and she was fighting her own urge to get closer. There wasn't really any mistaking what she wanted, especially with someone with vampire senses involved.
"Not a guess if I already know the answer." Damon's smile morphed into a smirk and some of the doubt he had been carrying seemed to clear. Bonnie's eyes widened as Damon's grip on the back of her knees tightened and he abruptly lifted her up. Bonnie allowed it as he positioned her on his lap, her legs on either side of his as she straddled his waist.
Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck as Damon leaned up to kiss her. This time when the kiss came she was prepared. This time she allowed herself to give into the sensation as their lips met. She opened her mouth in invitation, and as his tongue slid into her mouth and he gripped her thighs beneath her dress she could feel all of the torment that he spoke of. He kissed her hard and frenzied not bothering to hide all of the pent up frustration he had been feeling. Bonnie kissed back with just as much fervor smiling into the kiss as he moaned into her mouth when her fingers combed through his hair.
She felt powerful in that moment as she began to grind her hips down against him. This was someone that she had once feared. Someone that had once made her feel weak and now she was the one in control. She had caused him torment of a different sort and now he was like putty in her hands. Her thoughts scared her in that moment. She wasn't one to take advantage of other people but this didn't feel like that. It felt like taking control and as she pulled his hair to tip his head back to change the angle of the kiss, Damon relented to that control. This was definitely a bad idea.
Bonnie rocked her hips against him as Damon broke the kiss to trail hot wet open mouthed kisses down her neck. "Bonnie," he murmured into her ear as his hands moved up her thighs and around to grip her ass. "Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie," he repeated in case she had any doubts as to who his mind and body were centered on. His mouth found her lips again and this kiss was slow and heated.
Bonnie rewarded the attention by nibbling at Damon's bottom lip and kissing along his jaw. Damon used his grip on her ass to adjust the pace of the movement of her hips as he began to grind up against her. The straps on Bonnie's dress began to slip down her shoulders and she felt the telling wetness pooling between her legs.
Damon pulled back abruptly and Bonnie whimpered at the loss. She looked at him in question and saw that his face had begun to distort, his fangs dropping and the veins pulsing beneath his blue eyes. He moved to pull back further as he expected to be pushed away at any moment, but Bonnie took his face in her hands. "Don't hide from me," she said, "Don't pull away unless I tell you to."
Bonnie punctuated her point by sliding her tongue into his mouth and then over the tip of his fang until she drew her own blood. The move surprised even her. "Fuck," Damon groaned before sucking Bonnie's tongue into further into his mouth and bucking up against her.
Bonnie's arms tightened around his shoulders and she moved closer until they were pressed together chest to chest, the strap on her right side sliding down so low that her breast was a close to exposure. Bonnie didn't care as she moaned into Damon's mouth. She had never been kissed this way before. She had never felt the freedom to kiss someone with such abandon but in that moment she didn't see how she could kiss Damon in any other way.
A monsters touch was never gentle and in ancient times witches were known to be wild fierce women that lived by their own rules and with sexual abandon. Maybe this, all of this was somewhere in their nature. Or maybe Bonnie had somehow been spelled as well. In any case Bonnie felt as ill-advised as this was, she couldn't stop and didn't want to.
Distantly Bonnie heard the telling beep of the door to the hotel room unlocking as the key card was slid into the slot. Bonnie growled in frustration even as Damon moved his mouth down her neck again, licking and sucking, his fangs scrapping against skin too softly to break it but just enough to make Bonnie tremble. The things that had once been the instrument of her suffering and almost ended her life were now giving her pleasure and Bonnie didn't know how to feel about that.
Reluctantly Bonnie pushed at Damon's chest in warning. His grip on her tightened still as he kissed his way back up to Bonnie's lips. "Don't back out on me now, witchy," he said, brushing his lips against hers.
Bonnie allowed herself to be kissed again before pulling back. Damon seemed to be glowing. Where his skin had been pale and wain he now looked more alive and vital that Bonnie had ever seen him. She had done that, she thought with a smile. "That's not what I'm doing," she replied as he licked up the side of her neck and she fidgeted, "its Elena," she frowned.
Damon's face cleared, returning back to normal, no veins or fangs in sight as he leaned away from her slightly. He snarled, annoyed as he spoke, "I thought we went over that headache already."
Bonnie shook her head, kissing him again and running her hand through his hair in a placating gesture. "No, it's not like that," she sighed, "She's he-" Before Bonnie could finish, the door opened and Elena came in carrying a small selection of shopping bags.
Damon looked genuinely surprised to see her and with his senses and the fact that he had always been so aware of Elena, Bonnie had to wonder at that. Even with that spell it would take some getting used to.
"There's like no shops in this area," Elena was saying.
Elena wasn't looking at them as she shuffled the bags and shut the door. Damon made no attempt to move in spite of Bonnie shifting in his lap. The hardness she could still feel pressing against her didn't help matters. Damon looked at Bonnie unbothered. He kissed Bonnie's shoulder as he returned one of the straps of her dress to its rightful place and Bonnie sighed, drawing Elena's attention.
Elena made a disgusted noise and huffed. "Wow," she scowled, the shopping bags falling from her hands. "That didn't take long. What happened to fighting it?"
Bonnie rolled her eyes. Damon took his time replacing the other strap on Bonnie's dress. Bonnie stood slowly from Damon's lap. His grip loosened on her only after she gave him a look. She smoothed out her dress as she stood. Bonnie didn't realize until after she was standing that the towel had shifted and Damon's erection was on display. Elena's mouth pinched into a thin line and she turned away from them both. "Tell me when you're descent please."
Damon stood and adjusted his towel. He reached out and helped Bonnie pull down the skirt of her dress where it had ridden up, his hands lingering on her ass as he winked at her. Bonnie bit back a smile and couldn't help but lean into him. Damon smiled outright as his hands moved around to settle on her hips. "We're descent," he said, his eyes never leaving Bonnie's gaze.
Elena turned back around and held out the bags in Damon's direction. Bonnie watched as Elena stared at Damon expectantly, waiting for him to approach her. Damon didn't notice, his eyes never left Bonnie. Bonnie couldn't help but be a bit satisfied at Elena being ignored. "Here," Elena sneered, finally drawing Damon's attention.
Damon glanced in Elena's direction, his hands slowly dropping to his sides. Bonnie half expected him to offer Elena words of comfort and reassurance and she could tell from the look on Elena's face that she expected it as well.
He did give her words but it wasn't in the way that either girl thought he would. Damon gave Bonnie a look before he walked over and took the bags from Elena's hands. "It was out of necessity I swear," Damon said, his tone somewhere in between deadpan, amused and sarcastic, "You should have seen me when I came out of the shower earlier. I was at death's door." His expression was anything but reassuring until he turned back to Bonnie and his face softened.
As Damon passed Bonnie on the way to the bathroom he surprised her by placing a gentle lingering kiss on her lips. "I won't be long."
Bonnie nodded, still somewhat shocked that Elena had been snubbed in favor of her even after their conversation prior to her friend's return. It was one thing to say something and another thing to put it into practice, even while under the influence of magic. Damon could fight it even if Bonnie told him it was alright not to but he was making the choice not to and felt fine in doing so with Bonnie in agreement. He had been willing to fight for Bonnie's sake if she hadn't wanted him but his love for Elena wasn't enough for him to fight the spell in order to spare the girl's feelings. Bonnie could tell as Elena eyed her, that the girl had realized as much as well.
Damon walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Elena rounded on her as soon as the door was shut. Elena moved closer spoke in a low tone that Bonnie was sure she was hoping that Damon wouldn't hear. "You said it would be a kiss here and there and I walk in on you and Damon basically dry humping with him practically naked."
Bonnie blinked at her. She'd known that the blow up would come, no matter how hypocritical that it would be on Elena's part. Bonnie was in too good of a mood and had been left too unsatisfied after the interruption, to feed into Elena's dramatics. It was insane enough that Damon had was responsible for her good mood in the first place.
"Listen," Bonnie said, her tone annoyed if a little placating. "This isn't just about the spell, no matter how strong it is. Damon and I talked and not only are we willing to do what it takes to keep him alive until we find Bree but we want to explore whatever this is between us. Not that it's any of your business but we thought about each other before the spell and if we're not objecting to the outcome I don't see why you should be either. This isn't something you need to concern yourself with. We have it handled and we've decided how we're going to handle it. This is between me and Damon. You should focus your efforts on bringing Stefan home."
Elena glared. "You of all people being alright with how this is being handled makes no sense," she whispered, "If you go along with this it's basically cheating. You don't like Damon and you said that you loved Jeremy. Was that a lie?"
Bonnie was tired of Elena holding Jeremy over her head. "I may not be Damon's biggest fan but that doesn't mean I would just sit around and watch him die and honestly it doesn't mean that I don't find him attractive either," Bonnie shrugged, "As for Jeremy…we haven't really spoken all summer. I love him but I honestly feel like in this case what he says or does won't make much of a difference. We haven't been the same since before the summer started and I obviously have some unresolved whatever the hell this is where Damon is concerned. I'm not going to act like it's not happening and I'm not going to pretend that with Jeremy and I, things can just go back to how they were. I'm also not going to sit here and continue to discuss the status of my relationship with your brother with you when I haven't even talked to him about it."
Elena looked flabbergasted. "So you loved him enough to bring him back from the dead but now all of a sudden you don't love him enough to consider his feelings or find another way out of this thing with Damon?"
Bonnie pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay for arguments sake," she sighed, "Let's say Jeremy told me to stay away from Damon and let him desiccate. Would you be okay with that?"
Elena looked irritated. "No. Not if it meant Damon would die. But at the very least you could keep the physical stuff to a minimum out of respect."
"So basically you don't want me to get physical with Damon but you don't want him to die either. Why is me getting physical with Damon such an issue for you Elena? I mean he's been with other women in the past. You weren't this up in arms about that. Was it that they weren't a threat to whatever unresolved bullshit that you have with Damon? You want to talk to me about respect for Jeremy but what about Stefan?" Bonnie raised an eyebrow, "Was that what you were thinking about when you kissed Damon while Stefan was sacrificing his freedom and selling his soul to Klaus?"
"I thought Damon was going to die," Elena defended.
Bonnie's eyes narrowed. "And Damon will die if I don't get physical with him so you should understand right?" Bonnie crossed her arms over her chest. "Besides like I said, Damon and I have other feelings and it wouldn't be fair to Jeremy if I had some kind of feelings towards someone else and lied about it or stayed determinedly in denial and strung them both along and used their feelings for me when it was convenient to get what I want from them. You know what? You've inspired me Elena. I think that Jeremy and I need a clean break. It's only fair. I'll tell him as soon as we get back to Mystic Falls."
Bonnie knew that she was being a bit petty but she honestly didn't care. She was tired of pretending and hiding her feelings. The more she thought about it the more sure she became. She was looking for a way to end things with Jeremy either way to avoid the cycle she had left behind. She loved him but not in the same way and not enough to spare his feelings any more than Damon's supposed love for Elena made him want to spare hers.
Bonnie knew from Elena's expression she had lost her last means of justification for commenting on Damon and Bonnie's choice to go along with that spell. It was one thing if Bonnie was still tied to Jeremy but if Damon and Bonnie were both single Elena couldn't do anything without admitting that she was doing exactly what Bonnie described in terms of Stefan and Damon. She wouldn't and so they were at a stalemate.
The door to the bathroom opened and Damon stepped out wearing a navy blue t-shirt and a pair of black jeans and black boots. He looked Bonnie over and seemed to ask with his gaze if she was alright, clearly having overheard the conversation. His commentary was less concerned but Bonnie caught on to what was left unsaid due to Elena's presence. "You're breaking up with Baby Gilbert?" he grinned, "bring on the Hallelujah chorus. It'll save me from having to kill him when we get back at least."
Bonnie stared and Elena looked somewhere between upset, fearful and annoyed. "Damon," Bonnie said her tone warning. She was reminded that with the spell she still wasn't sure what he was capable of.
"Relax," Damon said, "I'm kidding. Mostly." Bonnie sighed in momentary relief as Damon sidled up next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. He looked down at her. "You ready to go?"
Bonnie nodded. "I'm all packed," she said, walking over to the bed to grab the healing ointment she had left there and replace the lid on the jar, "Let's get out of here."
Bonnie moved to pick up one of her suitcases when Damon held out a hand to stop her. "I've got them," he said, "Don't worry about anything. Go ahead and wait in the car."
He tossed the keys in Bonnie's direction and she caught them. She hesitated at the door as she knew that since Elena couldn't get through to her, she would likely try with Damon. Bonnie frowned, she didn't want to care but she did.
Damon noted the stiffness in her frame. He walked up to her and kissed her cheek. "It'll be fine."
Bonnie glanced between the two one more time before grabbing her cat carrier and heading out to Damon's Camaro. She placed the cat in the back seat and sat down in the passenger's seat. She stared at the hotel room door as she waited.
Bonnie didn't have to wait long before Elena stormed out and slammed the door behind her. Elena scowled as she walked to the car and sat down in the back seat next to Bonnie's cat in her carrier. She looked on the verge of tears and that was the only reason Bonnie asked, "Are you alright?"
Elena met Bonnie's gaze in the rearview mirror. "I was told not to upset you so I better not say," Elena replied.
Bonnie stared in shock. She wondered about the exchange and exactly what kind of warning Elena had been given. It was the spell, it had to be. Nyx hissed in Elena's direction seeming to punctuate whatever point that Damon had made. Damon for his part, came out of the room and loaded up the trunk as if nothing had happened.
Elena ended up sharing the back seat with not just Bonnie's cat but a few of her belongings and it was cramped and uncomfortable Bonnie was sure, but Elena said nothing. It would definitely be a long trip.
Damon got into the car on the driver's side and Bonnie handed him the keys so that he could start the car up. "Whatever you said to her wasn't necessary," Bonnie said as she handed him the keys and their hands touched, "I can fight my own battles and her reaction isn't something that wasn't entirely unexpected."
Bonnie glanced back at Elena and wasn't surprised that the girl was frowning as they talked about her as if she wasn't there. "Just because you can fight your own battles doesn't mean that you should have to," Damon replied, "Also even if her reaction wasn't unexpected it doesn't mean she has the right to talk to you any way she wants or pass judgement on anything you do."
Bonnie couldn't argue with the point but something in his eyes gave her pause. "All of that is valid but-" Bonnie was cut off as Damon leaned across the space that separated them and kissed her lips.
His hands framed her face as he pulled back only just far enough to make eye contact. "If you want me to back off I will because there's isn't anything I wouldn't do for you right now," he whispered, "But nobody is going to get you upset and get away with it while I'm here. Nobody. Not even her. Do you understand?"
Bonnie swallowed and nodded. "Just don't go overboard. I don't need you taking people on, on my behalf."
Something flared in his eyes again. His thumb stroked her cheek. "What if I need to protect you? What if I can't help it?"
Bonnie thought about the spell. He was farther gone than she'd thought he'd be so soon. But he'd said the more she gave in the more he would want her and she had given in easier than either of them had thought she would. She would have to create some distance, she knew. It would be for the best. But she wasn't sure it would be as easy for her to do so as she thought in that moment as she placed her hands over his and permitted him to kiss her again. "Damon..." They would be encountering Klaus and whoever as harboring Bree eventually. She didn't need him constantly going off the rails for her behalf.
"I know," he said seeming to read the worry in her expression. "I'll try to keep it together. For you."
"Thank you." Bonnie closed her eyes a moment and breathed in deep. She wasn't as prepared for all of this as she wanted to make it seem.
Damon kissed her again and then pulled away slowly, reluctantly. Bonnie's eyes met Elena's in the rearview mirror again and she saw something in them that she'd never thought Elena would truly direct at her as long as they'd been friends, something that reminded Bonnie of Katherine.
Damon took a worn book off the dash and tossed it in Elena's direction. "Stefan's journal," Damon explained looking back towards Bonnie, "If she's catching up on some light reading, it'll be just like we're alone in the car."
Elena took the book and opened it but her eyes never left them. Bonnie doubted she would be able to forget her friend was there even if a part of her wanted to. Another part was glad to have some sort of a buffer. So much had happened in so short a time and she wanted to keep her head about her in any way that she could.
Damon pulled out of the parking lot one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand reaching out to grab one of Bonnie's. Damon threaded their fingers together and brought their joined hands up to his lips before placing a kiss on the back of Bonnie's. Bonnie became a bit uneasy as they left the parking lot and made it to the road. This Damon was definitely different, and in spite of her growing interest in him, she wasn't sure just yet if it was a good or bad thing.
:::
Lexington, Kentucky
Damon found it hard to focus on the road. His gaze kept straying towards Bonnie where she'd fall asleep in the passenger's seat. They'd been on the road for five hours and there were five to go. Damon felt that his behavior was abnormal and normal all at once. He was distracted by Bonnie's scent, sweet and floral, lavender and wisteria. He was distracted by her beauty. Her skin seemed to glow. Her hair shone a deep black reflected off the street lights as they passed, colors bouncing off of and dancing in the strands.
One hand was on the steering wheel and the other gripped one of Bonnie's hands still unable to let go. Unwilling to let go. He could hear the low thrum of her heartbeat and he left the radio off because he would rather listen to the sound. It was insane but his mind was consumed by her. He wanted to hate it, to hate her, but he couldn't and it had nothing to do with the spell and everything to do with the thoughts that had once been trapped and locked away in his mind. The thoughts he wouldn't let himself embrace until Bree had forced them to the surface. Thoughts that Damon felt were drowning him and yet as he looked at Bonnie he felt like he were dying and coming up for air all at once.
Damon had wanted her before and he could separate what he was feeling at the moment from the thoughts that came and went in the days past. Having all of those thoughts bombard him at once made the times they'd popped in and out before feel like child's play. He knew that it would only get worse and he wondered how long Bonnie would tolerate him once it happened. He was fighting the urge to pull over and take her even now, right there with Elena scowling in the back seat. He tried to focus on other things, on his brother mostly but his mind kept coming back to Bonnie even in the most mundane ways.
"Once this is over," Elena said from the back seat, "You'll both regret all of this. You'll realize it isn't real. You'll regret touching her and she'll won't want you to touch her ever again."
Damon's feelings for her had dissipated or been buried under this feelings for Bonnie and right then he felt the urge to snap her neck. He gripped the steering wheel harder with his hand and glared at her in the rearview mirror. "Who are trying to convince?" he asked, "Me or yourself?"
He knew the lethal thoughts towards her were mostly spell related, an after effect of his growing obsession with Bonnie and his waning feelings for her. It didn't make him want to act on them any less.
"Who are you trying to convince?" Elena shot back, "I know you Damon. You're trying to make this seem like its real because if its real that means whatever was beginning to happen between us wasn't. Maybe you're feeling guilty because of Stefan. Maybe you know that I'll reject you again and this is a way to keep you from getting hurt. You can't have me but at least you'll have someone." Of course it would take him being involved with someone else for her to acknowledge that they had something between them at all, no matter the way in which it happened.
Damon let out a dry laugh. "You sound like Katherine," he said, and she looked at him as if she had been slapped, "Everything isn't about you. I told you I wanted her before. I meant that. I was able to lock the thoughts away but now they're out, all of them. The thing of it is, you know me so you know how I am. If I hadn't bothered to stop myself from thinking about her, this would have been the outcome. Why do you think Bree chose this form of revenge? She knows me just like you do. She's knows how I get. How I love. She was right. I go to dark places and fixate on whoever it is that's on my radar. It was the worse with Katherine. It never got that bad with you. With Bonnie…I don't know how it will get but I blocked the thoughts in the first place for a reason."
Bonnie shifted slightly in her sleep and Damon looked at her, ignoring the road a moment to make sure the conversation wasn't waking her. Elena shook her head. "I don't get why you blocked the thoughts out at all which is why I find it hard to believe that you had them at all. It isn't exactly like you to show restraint. You didn't restrain yourself when it came to Katherine and barely did when it came to me, even with Stefan's feelings involved. You would have to use more than a little if Bree found enough thoughts about Bonnie to torment you with."
The only reason Damon bothered responding was because he needed Elena to understand that this wasn't something that she could talk him out of. This wasn't something she could look at him the right way or say the right thing or tempt him away from. He understood why she wanted to, because she was more like Katherine than either he or Stefan had ever wanted to admit. Katherine had been right, Elena had enjoyed them both worshipping at her altar.
"I restrained myself because I didn't think I could have her and even when I didn't like her that much I respected her enough not to condemn her with any part of me. I resented her enough to fight it just so I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing she could affect me at all. This spell doesn't bother me now because I know I affect her too. However this ends, whenever we find Bree, that's something that isn't going to change. When the spell is broken the thoughts won't be cycling over and over but they'll be there, Elena. This time not only will I have those thoughts but new ones because I'll know what it's like to kiss her. To touch her. To hear her say how much she wants me. To make her smile. To have her look at me like I matter. I'll know what it's like to have her and if it's not something that I want to give up now and it's not something that I would've given up before had I known I could've had it at all, then what makes you think I'm going to want to give this up once the spell is broken."
Elena was silent. Damon didn't expect her to respond. She couldn't argue and likely didn't want to face what he was saying in the first place. After a while in the silence she spoke. "What about her? What if Bonnie wants this to end once the spell is broken?"
Damon shrugged. He wanted to seem nonchalant but his whole body stiffened at the mere thought of Bonnie rejecting him or her walking away. He wouldn't allow it. It wasn't an option any longer, spell or no spell. "I'll just have to convince her otherwise."
"You can't force someone to love you Damon," Elena commented, some last ditch effort to end his pursuit. She was wasting her time. He wasn't in the right state of mind to hear her and she wasn't speaking from a place where is best interest was in mind.
"What makes you think it would be by force?" Damon asked. Bonnie was responsive to him. She was affected by him. She was attracted to him. She cared about him more than she had ever let on. Damon was surprised by it all but at the same time he saw it as a blessing to pursue her, to pursue her in every way that he knew how and for as long as she tolerated his presence.
"This spell is changing you and it's like you don't even see it," Elena sighed, "I hope someone else can get through to you because clearly I can't while you're like this."
"Don't tell anyone about the spell," he said, his eyes meeting Elena's in the rearview mirror, "It's not your business to tell. It's something that's between me and Bonnie and Bree. Besides that, if Klaus catches wind of it, who's to say he wouldn't try to use it against either of us as leverage. Hurt her to get to me. We need to play our hand close."
"Fine," Elena muttered, "I won't say anything but the spell demands you guys get physical basically whether you want to admit that's what this is or not. People are going to ask questions and no one's going to believe that you guys just decided to randomly hook up while we were off to save Stefan."
"I don't give a damn what they believe," Damon said, "Besides, the idea won't be as hard of sell as you seem to think. She hasn't talked to your dear brother all summer and maybe I'll just tell people I got sick of trailing behind you while you chased after Stefan. Maybe we both got sick pining after Gilberts and decided our attention should be elsewhere. It might have been a secret to you but my interest in Bonnie wasn't a secret to everyone. Bree sniffed it out clear enough and she hasn't been in my constant company for the last year. We'll see who believes what once we get to Chicago and hunt down my dear brother."
Elena quieted at the mention of Stefan as expected. She leaned against the seat and looked out of the window. Damon didn't care about what anyone believed, not even her. He was tired of the conversation and he welcomed the silence.
Damon refocused on the sound of Bonnie's heartbeat as she stirred. He looked over at her as her eyes opened. He watched as her gaze refocused from sleep and then settled on him. She looked at him in a way that had haunted his dreams longer than he wanted to think about. There was desire there plain and simple. Heat and longing. She tried to mask it but he was able to see it just the same.
Damon felt himself melt. He didn't understand how anyone could be on the receiving end of a look like that from her and not want to lay the world at her feet or burn it down to ashes in her name, whichever she preferred.
Bonnie lifted his hand up to her lips and kissed the back of it and then the inside of his palm. Her lips were soft and teasing. She kept her eyes on him the entire time and Damon couldn't break her gaze. He felt his breath hitch and then Elena's scream and the sound of a car horn brought his eyes back to the road. He was driving in the wrong lane. He swerved just in time to avoid a collision.
Damon pulled the car over to the side of the road. He should've have been concerned that Bonnie had been able to distract him in such a way but instead his mind was on her wellbeing. He ignored Elena's gasping from the backseat.
As soon as they were safely pulled to the side, Damon turned to Bonnie gripping her hands and asking over and over again if she was alright. He felt his own heart hammering at the thought of losing her and he wasn't able to calm until she kissed him long and lingering. "I'm alright," she whispered as she pulled back, "We're alright."
Damon's eyes locked with hers and he saw something else beneath the desire, fear. He felt something akin to dread himself. He was terrified because in that moment he felt like he was a goner, lost in her completely and the longer he stayed under this spell the more likely it would be that he still would be once the spell was lifted.
End Notes: So there it is. Next part Chicago or bust. Don't worry Bonnie's driving the rest of the way. Lol. Keep the feedback coming I love and appreciate you all. Thanks for reading!