It was still early in the morning but the air already felt warm and thick. It was going to be a hot day. The sun hung huge and bright in the sky without a single cloud. Amy took a long look around. There was a cloud of bloatflies lazily floating around the old granary, otherwise everything was still. Even the wind died down to a barely noticeable breeze.
Amy climbed up the hill to get a better view. When she got to the top she felt a little tired. The new hunting rifle she bought from Moira recently was so heavy. Expensive too, she spent pretty much all of the caps she saved up so far. It was worth it though, it was so much easier to shoot from distance. With her old 10 mm she would sometimes have to sneak up on the animal to get closer for a better shot, so she wouldn't need to waste ammo. She was really good at sneaking but sometimes a molerat or a dog would still spot her and charge at her, fangs bared. Not that she ever ended up in any danger, the combat instinct or whatever it was would kick in and in the end she would end up looking at a dead animal or several of them.
She wasn't sure what to call it, that thing where in life threatening situations the time would slow down to a crawl and her head would fill with clear precise thoughts and she would know exactly what to do and where to shoot. She thought about it a little but then decided that whatever it was, that thing saved her life on more than one occasion, so it was best not to question it too much. In the situation she found herself in, it was good to at least have something going for her.
Amy stopped to rest, sitting down next to what used to be a wall of some kind of farm building. She could clearly see the bloatflies buzzing around the old granary but they didn't seem inclined to attack her. For her part Amy didn't want to waste ammo shooting them so the current truce between her and the bloatflies suited her just fine. She leaned against the ruined wall, the warmth of the concrete heated up by the sun spreading through her back.
- "I almost feel like taking a nap" she said
- "That would be an unwise idea. We must not let our guard down" answered Silver Shroud.
- "Yes of course. You never know what could wander here searching for food." She remembered locals telling her they've seen mirelurks as far away from the river as Springvale outskirts, and there was always a chance of running into a hungry Yao Guai.
- "Many dangers lurk around! We must also be careful of the communist infiltrators and ..."
- "Wait, wait. Communist infiltrators? As in, the ones before the war?"
- "Um, yes"
- "But ... Shroud, that was 200 years ago. All the communist infiltrators are dead. The people they were infiltrating are dead too. If they had any children they're all dead as well, a really long time."
- "Well, that is undoutably true" Silver Shroud sounded uncertain. "We should still be vigilant however"
"Right, sure. Vigilant" Amy looked around, then suddenly straightened up and said in a loud dramatic whisper
- "Look there is a communist infiltrator! Right there!" then a moment later "Oh no, that's just a large rock" She then stretched her arm in an abrupt gesture that seemed to scare a couple of the bloatflies pointing her finger at the roof. "Look, there is an communist infiltrator right there on the roof! Oh no that's just a bloatfly"
- "Yes yes, the hilarity is overwhelming. If I had sides they would certainly be splitting right now"
- "Oh Shroud. How did I end up with an imaginary friend who is so completely crazy?"
- "Since I'm in your head that question should perhaps be directed at you?"
- "Yeah you've got me there" conceded Amy.
Amy gave a slight shake of the head, then resumed her old position of leaning back against the wall. An old memory slowly wound its way to the surface of her thoughts. Back when she was maybe nine or ten, Amata showed her a section from an old textbook about spotting communist infiltrators and told Amy that she looked like the Chinese spies in the pictures. It was really funny because Amy did look a lot like them. For a while after that they had a game where Amy would sneak up on Amata, then jump out in front of her and yell
- "Give up your secrets, capitalist pig!" Amy had no idea what a 'pig' was, but that was what the spies said in the book.
- "No, I'll never betray America!" Amata would answer, and then she would run away and Amy would chase after her.
She missed Amata. It's only been several weeks but Amy felt like she hasn't seen her childhood friend for a lifetime. She really wished Amata was here.
Amy sighed, then looked around. All around, the Wasteland was as still as ever. In the east the old Super Duper Mart building dominated the landscape.
- "Hey Shroud, remember how Moira said people used to buy all kinds of things there before the war? Including food and medicine?"
- "Yes but I suspect anything of value has been pilfered by the local looters. Even if there is anything they've overlooked, after 200 years it will be of little use to us."
- "Food yes of course. But medicine doesn't expire quite so quickly. Maybe the power didn't fail straight away. Some of those pre-war fission batteries could keep going for a crazy long time. Maybe there are refrigerators somewhere in there that still have power"
- "That seems like an extremely unlikely scenario"
- "Well yes, very unlikely but .. It's worth a try, right? My headache meds will be gone in a few months no matter how much I ration them. And who knows what other medicines they could have in there? Even some simple antibiotics could make so much difference."
- "Doctor Church has made it abundantly clear that he wanted to terminate out association. An obstinately obtuse man like him will certainly refuse to reconsider that decision."
- "I'm not going back to working with him again but if I could just tell him what the meds treat. I've got to try anyway."
- "I suspect all we will find is an empty old building. There are many incredibly interesting places we could visit but this is probably not one of them."
Up close the Super Duper Mart building looked gigantic. It was more intact than most buildings in Springvale but there were still some holes and cracks in the walls. High up there were huge letters spelling out the name. You could still see hints of colors in the letters but now they were almost totally washed out. 'S' and 'p' in Super were missing, 'r' in 'duper' was tilted at a precarious angle and looked in danger of falling down.
Strange name for a shop, Amy thought. It sounded something like Moira would say. Was there a pre-war version of Moira that used to run that huge store, Amy mused. That would make a crazy sort of sense.
Amy stepped through a huge hole in the fencing around the front of the store and headed for the entrance. In front, there were a few oddly shaped large metal objects. Amy knew they used to be 'cars'. Pre-war people would get inside them and the car would get them to places much faster than on foot. Reading about that back in the Vault it seemed like yet another one of the crazy things pre-war people did but now that Amy has seen the incredible amount of space outside of the Vault she could see how it could be useful.
Now these things were not getting anyone anywhere. They were rusted through completely. Amy knew that there used to be glass in front and on the sides but by now there was nothing but gaping holes. Over the years scavengers took anything that had any value - fission batteries, what was left of the seats, even pieces of the body. What was left of the rusty husks Amy was looking at was not even worth looting.
One of the old cars caught her eye - it looked strangely familiar. She searched her memory but couldn't remember where she saw it - it was one of those small but irritating things.
Just as she moved to open the door to the store, she remembered. It was a Corvega. She saw a picture of it in one of the pre-war books she read in the Vault. She could see it clearly now - in the picture there was a young man and a girl sitting in one of these cars. The young man had gelled hair and a smugly satisfied look on his face. He had his arm around the girl, who was thin, busty and had long blonde hair. The girl had a huge smile that showed all of her extremely white teeth. The car was red and very shiny but the shape was definitely the same. Underneath the picture it said - 'Corvega - for the all-American ...'. There were more words below, but the bottom of the page was torn off. Amy looked at the remains of the car sceptically, opened the door and stepped inside the store.
It was really dark inside, so she had to wait a couple of minutes for her eyes to adjust. There were no windows, so the only light was coming from the holes and cracks in the wall and the ceiling. She could see specs of dust drifting slowly in the beams of light.
"It does not look like there is power here" said Shroud.
"No, looks like it went out a long time ago" Amy sounded disappointed. "I'm going to look around, maybe there is still something here".
She went looking through the store, stepping slowly in the barely lit space. She couldn't hear a single sound, there was complete silence inside. There were display shelves everywhere but they were all empty. The only thing she could see were odd cages made of metal wire with wheels on them lying on the ground. She stumbled into one of them and sent it rolling and then crashing into a shelf loudly. The sound startled her, she pulled out her gun quickly and stepped behind a shelf as cover, looking in different directions. She waited for a few minutes but it was all in vain. It was totally quiet again.
She was clearly alone here. Not even radroaches to keep her company - there was nothing for them here. Amy started thinking that she should go back, the only thing that kept her going forward was stubbornness. Then, she saw a speck of green led light somewhere ahead. The light disappeared and she thought she was seeing things, but a little later she could see it again. It was as though the light was winking at her, inviting her to get find it. Then stepping in between the shelves she saw it clearly. There was a door at the far end of the store, with what looked like a terminal, and it had a blinking led light on it.
She ran towards it, knocking over some of those wire cages but no longer caring. She could now see the terminal and the keypad underneath.
- "See, I told you there was something here. All ye of little faith"
- "Strange that there is power here yet the rest of the store is unpowered".
- "It must be a separate circuit."
- "I wonder what lies behind this door"
- "Yeah let's try and find out"
Amy was worried that the terminal above the door was broken but when she tapped her finger lightly on the 'on' switch, the monitor lit up with a familiar greenish light. Amy could see now that the door had many scratches, dents and other signs of abuse. It looked like somebody repeatedly hit it with something heavy like a sledgehammer, some of the indentations looked like bullet marks. There was similar damage on the nearby wall.
Looking around, Amy noticed a mattress lying on the floor. From its condition and placement it was clear it wasn't originally a part of the store.
- Someone slept here, and then tried to get through the door" Amy said.
- "Scavengers I wager"
- "Hopefully they don't return. Now, let's get that door opened"
Amy took out her lockpicks and turned on her pipboy light, then shone it on the door handle.
- "Damn, looks like there is no keyhole at all. Can only be opened through the terminal. OK let's have a look."
Amy called up the menu on the terminal and entered the command to open the door. 'Enter password' flashed up on the terminal.
- "Shit" Amy punched in '12345', terminal responded with 'Password incorrect, four attempts remaining'. Amy tapped her index finger against her chin thoughtfully. "I may be able to connect my pipboy to this. If this thing is there ... " she run her fingers across the back of the terminal. "Yes! OK let's see .. "
She used one of her lockpicks as a makeshift screwdriver, unscrewing a small panel at the back of the terminal. Underneath the panel there was a small opening, just like she expected. She pulled out a cable from her pipboy and plugged it into the hole at the back of the terminal. The pipboy screen started flickering, when it stopped there was a long list of numbers on it.
- "OK this is probably a totally different system but I can try and figure this out ... "
The system on the terminal was indeed very different from anything Amy worked with in the Vault, but all her guessed proved totally correct. Finally, after some time of typing on her pipboy, the door terminal beeped happily, words 'password accepted' flashed on the display and Amy heard the click of the door unlocking. She carefully disconnected her pipboy, then lifted her hands in the air.
- "Yes! Who's the best? I'm the best! At least all these years working in pipboy maintenance were good for something." She repeated the password, pronouncing it carefully "'Redskinsftw'. I wonder what that means?"
- "They must have deliberately chosen something meaningless and obscure, to thwart insidious intruders"
- "Yes, well, I was too insidious for them. Now, let's see what they have in there"
Amy highlighted the 'Open Door' option on the screen, then waited for a few seconds, savoring the moment, before finally tapping her finger on the 'Enter' button. The door slid open with a loud metallic creak.
Darkness.
Behind the door it was just as dark as in the rest of the store. The room behind the door was about the size of a large utility closet back in the Vault. It was filled with shelves covered in a thick layer of dust. Amy could see bulky shapes at the far end of the room, probably refrigerators. The shelves were filled with crates and boxes of all sizes. In the darkness of the room Amy could make out what looked like an entire shelf of closely stacked bottles of Nuka Cola. There was all kinds of food and probably medicine here, all now hopelessly spoiled after lying there for decades.
- "No" Amy groaned. "Why would they have a separate circuit just for the door lock? That so stupid. Fuck" she kicked one of the shelves and heard something fall from it. "Maybe there is some medicine here which is still usable? I could try it" - she sounded almost like she was pleading.
- "I believe that would be extremely unwise"
- "I know. Dammit"
Looking around dejectedly Amy spotted soft glow behind one of the shelves. She stepped closer. At the far end of the room there was a desk with a large computer terminal. Next to the desk there was something that looked like a large pod, behind the thick plastic she could just about see a metallic shape. A robot.
Amy wiped away some of the dust and looked closer. The robot had a crudely humanoid shape, except its 'head' which was shaped like an elongated upside down bucket with rounded corners. At the front of the head there was a window that was partially transparent. "I know what that is, I've seen robots like that in a book. It's a Protectron. It was probably there as security for the store. Defending it from people stealing the merchandise maybe. Except there's nothing to steal here." Amy said bitterly. "It's on the same circuit as the door terminal. Amy looked at the terminal pensively. "Maybe I could hack that too"
- "As fascinating a challenge as that would be the rewards of this endeavor could prove disappointing"
- "I can't just leave here empty-handed. Maybe I could reprogram the Protectron to follow my commands. Maybe I could get it to defend Megaton. It could stand at the gates and greet all new arrivals and shoot at any intruders."
- "That robot would blend well with the architectural design of the town"
This time Amy didn't need to connect her pipboy to the terminal. She typed several commands and a list of numbers appeared.
The Protectron terminal proved a lot more difficult than the one on the door. Amy was almost locked out of it a couple of times. It seemed like she was starting to zero in on the password before she got distracted by a noise. Or rather noises. She turned around in alarm.
There weren't supposed to be any noises here. She was the only living thing inside the store. Or was she?
Perhaps an animal got inside and was now running around in the darkness, knocking over the strange pre-war metal cages. Amy took a slow and deep breath and tried to focus her senses on the noises she was hearing.
She heard voices.
- "So fucking dark in here."
- "OK, Baz, you're working on the wall while Teeth tries the door."
- "Couldn't we just get some dynamite and blow up that wall?"
- "Do you want to blow up all the ammo inside too, you fucking moron?"
- "Boss, I'm telling you, there's no ammo inside. No gear, no nothing."
- "Then why is there still power there? When I was running with Gristle, he found lots of gear and ammo in a place just like this."
- "But ..."
There was more conversation Amy couldn't make out, except she could hear irritability in one of the voices. It sounded like there were four or five people, maybe more.
- "Oh no it's so dark I can't see anything. Ooh what's that?"
- "Get your fucking hands away from there!" - a female voice, followed by the sound of laughter.
Amy felt a chill. Somehow they sounded ... could these be raiders? Oh no no no no no. Why did she have to spend so much time trying to hack that stupid robot. She froze in place trying to make her breathing deep yet very quiet. Then she quietly tiptoed towards the door and closed it. She tensed up expecting the door to creak but it closed quietly. Maybe the raiders don't notice that the door is open, she thought, then maybe if she stays totally still the raiders would spend some time trying to break down the wall and then leave. She would wait them out.
For a while it seemed like that plan would work, but then she heard one of the raiders say loudly
- "Look, boss, the light is a different color now."
- "What the fuck are you ... wait, you're right. Well shit, would you look at that. That door is open"
Amy was nearly overwhelmed with panic but fought to keep it under control. Now that they've seen that the door has been opened they were going to come inside. Could she still hide in this small room? Probably not, they were going to turn it upside down looking through all the stuff in here. Could she slip by them unnoticed and make a run for the exit? That didn't sound like a good plan. Her eyes darting around the room, she looked at the pod with the deactivated Protectron. The robot! She almost got the password for it, she could reactivate it and use it as a distraction. It was a crazy plan but she had nothing better.
Amy's small fingers flew feverishly over the terminal's keyboard. - "Hey there's someone there" she heard. Dammit, come on, come on. Yes, finally! She selected the 'Activate Protectron' option and jabbed the return key.
Lights came on inside the pod and it opened with what seemed to Amy like a deafening noise. If after all this the robot didn't work, she was dead, Amy thought. To her relief, the the protectron slowly stepped out of the pod. Amy could see lights faintly flickering somewhere inside its partially transparent 'face'.
- "You heard that?" a voice outside.
- "Of course I fucking heard it!" then louder and clearer "Hey, good job opening the door there, buddy. Now come out here, let's have a chat"
- "We've got a present for ya" - a different voice
- "Free hugs right here" - the female voice
- "She gives really good hugs"
- "Not to you, noodledick"
- "Shut the fuck up, all of you" then louder "OK friend, whatever you've got there, we can help you with that."
The protectron turned its head in different directions (God, why is it so slow, thought Amy) before finally facing her.
- "Greetings, Mrs / Miss Unknown Forename Unknown Surname. Thank you for activating RobCo Protectron model XB5638. Unlawful activity inside the premises detected. Contacting local police department... Estimated arrival time of the local law enforcement - 9,223,372,036,854,775,807
minutes. Moving to apprehend the criminals - please stand back."
- "What the fuck was that?"
- "Sounds like a robot"
- "They're just trying to mess with us." then much louder "which is a really bad idea, whoever the fuck you are".
The robot walked towards the door, slowly and awkwardly, loud metallic clang with every step. It opened the door.
- "Unlawful entry detected. Unlawful possession of firearms detected. Please lay down any weapons on the floor in front of you and wait here for arrest by the local law enforcement."
- "Oh shit"
- "It is a robot"
- "Spread out, get in cover, then shoot the fucking thing."
- "Unlawful use of firearms detected. Lethal force authorized."
Then there was a cacophony of noise. Gunfire, a zapping sound, yells of pain and anger, sound of falling metal cages and display shelves. The protectron distracted the raiders all right, but it sounded like they were holding their own against it. Amy had to make her escape right now. Except she was shaking all over, her legs turned to mash and her heart was pounding so loud it felt like it was going to break her ribcage. This was just like the escape from the Vault. Amy took a long deep breath, then run out the door.
She run headlong into one of the raiders, almost bumping into her. It was a girl, not much older than Amy by the look of it. She was wearing something that looked like it used to be leather armor. Her hair was strange, shaved crudely on both sides of her head except a strip in the middle. Those were the details Amy noticed in the moments before the raider started to raise her gun.
- "The fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."
Time slowed to a crawl as Amy's thoughts took on a familiar cold clarity.
'Five hostiles and one ally detected, threat level - medium. Nearest hostile using ranged attack, optimal strategy aiming for the head, time to raise gun 0.86 seconds, to hit probability 99.98%'
Amy shot the raider between the eyes. While the raider's body was still falling Amy took a long step in between the shelves.
'Hostile moving into range, remaining hostiles obscured by cover, estimated time to contact 7.6 seconds, optimal targeting hostile's head, estimated to hit probability 96.4%.'
Raider's silhouette appeared between the shelves in front of Amy. In the dark she couldn't see anything except that it was a man holding a rifle. She killed him with a single shot to the head. There was a loud scream of pain somewhere to her left.
'Hostiles killed - two, hostiles killed by ally - one, remaining hostiles - two. Optimal strategy is moving forward 2.34 meters and using cover, estimated hostile position - 17 - 20 meters bearing 87.6 degrees.'
Amy moved to the end of the shelf, then peeked her head from the cover. She saw the crouching shape of the raider briefly illuminated by the muzzle flash of his gun.
'Hostile position 18.5 meters bearing 87.6 degrees, hostile not armored, optimal targeting hostile's body, to hit probability affected by lighting conditions, estimated at 65.4%.'
Amy fired five shots into the raider's back and saw his body slump to the ground.
There was more sound of gunfire to her right, then a loud bang followed by several smaller ones. Then the shooting stopped briefly.
'Last remaining ally killed, remaining hostiles - one. Hostile position obscured by cover, estimated at 25 - 29 meters ahead, bearing 60 - 63 degrees.'
- "Where the fuck are you?!" Amy heard, followed by a shotgun blast.
'Optimal strategy is moving forward at maximum speed for 20 meters, turning left 90 degrees, moving 5 meters at maximum speed. Optimal targeting hostile's head, hostile to hit probability estimated at 1.93%, own to hit probability estimated at 92.7%.'
Amy sprinted forward, leaping over the metal cages. Turning around the corner at full speed, she saw the last raider. She was close enough to see the leather armor, a shotgun in his hands, a large scar on the left side of the jaw and a look of shock on his face. He shot at her and missed, moments before she put two bullets in his head.
'No remaining hostiles.'
Time resumed its normal flow. Amy stood in a spot staring at the face of the raider. He was older than the others, about Simms' age. His face still had a surprised expression, as though the raider couldn't quite work out why there were now two bullet holes in his forehead or why his brains were leaking out into a puddle underneath his head. Amy walked over to other raiders bodies, moving as stiffly as the robot who fought the raiders with her. She passed it's destroyed remains, the transparent window at the front of the head section smashed to pieces and a smell of something burning coming from the hole it used to cover.
Amy walked over to the other dead bodies. She didn't know why, she didn't seem to be capable of thinking at all. The raider killed by the robot was lying on his back. His armor proved no match for the protectron's laser, his chest a mess of blood and charred skin. He was perhaps about thirty. The others, that Amy killed, were all younger. The second raider she shot was the youngest, barely in his twenties. It looked like he was trying to grow a mustache, but it wasn't working too well.
- "Truly a grotesquely gruesome business, but these ruffians left us little choice." said Shroud. "They would've killed you."
Amy didn't answer. She was shaking violently.
She hardly remembered walking back to Megaton, she was in a kind of trance the whole time. She headed straight for Moira's store.
- "Oh hey Amy" Moira called as she came in. "What've you got for me? Oh you maybe want to lower your gun. Unless you're planning to rob my store. In which case" she added cheerfully "you should probably wait a couple of days, Lucky Harith should be coming in then with a really big caravan."
Amy looked at her right arm. She was holding her gun in front of her. She became aware that she was gripping it so tight her fingers were starting to hurt.
- "By the way..." started Moira before noticing the expression on Amy's face. "Hey are you OK? Is that blood?"
- "They're dead" answered Amy. "They're all dead. I've killed them all."
- "Right, just stay right there for me, OK? Let me just get the store closed". Moving quickly Moira locked the door then briefly disappeared in the storage area to emerge with a chair. It was, of course, made of metal and very rusty. She sat Amy down on the chair carefully, then lightly took her right wrist. - "Maybe you want to put your gun down, you're totally safe here, I promise"
Amy slowly released her grip on the gun - it took some effort - and let it drop to the floor.
- "Careful with that, some of the older ones can ... you know, never mind, don't worry about that. Let's get you a warm glass of brahmin milk. Might taste a teensy bit bitter but it's great for all kinds of things. Works really good it you're carrying any rads too ... "
Talking non stop, Moira continued fussing around Amy. She brought out the promised brahmin milk. It was in a very large mug and tasted more than a bit bitter but Amy drank it in almost one gulp. Moira asked some questions but Amy didn't talk at all. Moira then brought out a mattress and a blanket and put Amy to bed, while Moira sat on the chair nearby reading some kind or journal and taking notes.
Eventually Amy fell asleep. She went out like a light.
She woke up in a dim light of Craterside Supply. Moira was behind the counter fiddling with what looked like a pile of scrap metal. Amy groaned and rubbed her face.
- "Hey there sleepyhead, you're finally up. I hope the mattress was comfortable enough. You're lucky I still had one, they usually sell so quickly, the pre-war ones anyway, and it's very hard to find one nowadays. I think it was Lou who sold me this one last Tuesday, or was it Wednesday? Anyway, how are you feeling? You got me a bit worried yesterday."
- "Much better, thanks Moira. How long was I asleep?"
- "About 14 hours. It's 11 in the morning now. You missed the sunrise."
- "Fourteen hours? God."
- "Hey, you know, yesterday you said some things that were a little bit odd."
Amy bit her lip. "Yes. Uhm. Yesterday I went to the Super Duper Mart. I just wanted to explore. And inside I ..." Amy took a deep breath "I found dead bodies. Five people. All shot. They were raiders. Seeing them like that ... I was in shock I think"
- "I see. I'm so sorry, it must have been so horrible for you. But here in the Wasteland things like that happen" Moira shrugged her shoulders in an almost apologetic way. "I wonder what killed them. If it's raiders though they probably shot each other. Raiders are like that, if they can't find other folks to murder they just turn on themselves sometimes."
- "There was a destroyed robot there" said Amy
- "Right, that's what it must have been then. They must have tripped some pre-war security and activated the robot and it killed them all. Strange, I thought everything in that store has been scavenged years and years ago." Moira walked over to Amy and looked at her with concern. - "Please be really careful going into places like that. You know, you were really lucky they were already dead when you got there. Raiders do some awful things to folks who run into them. Especially if you're a young girl."
Amy nodded - "Yes I'll ... I'll be much more careful from now on." At that moment she absolutely meant it.
- "Raiders so close to Megaton" Moira mused "Even if they're dead, that's a little worrying. I should let Simms know. I should also send someone there to take their loot before anyone else gets there."
- "Their loot?"
- "Oh yes, uhm." Moira looked at Amy hesitantly. "It's quite horrible but weapons and ammo and such are all very valuable, so we get them wherever we can find them. Even if it's off dead raiders' bodies"
Amy just nodded . She felt queasy.
- "So, are you sure you're feeling better now? I have more Brahmin milk. I think I might even have honey somewhere."
- "I'm OK now honestly. " Amy paused "Honey? I've read about it in the Vault."
- "They used to make it somewhere out West I think. That area got overrun by raiders but I might still have some stashed away."
- "It's OK, I'm fine." Amy looked at Moira "Thank you. I was just a bit ... you know."
- "Oh, don't worry, that's what friends are for, right?" answered Moira cheerfully. Then, looking a bit hesitant "I should really be opening my store now. If you're sure you're fine?"
- "Sorry, please get the store opened. I'm fine, really." Amy took a few steps towards the door, then turned around, walked over to Moira and hugged her. "Thank you"
- "Don't worry about it. Come back in the evening, tell me if you're feeling better then?"
- "Yes absolutely."
Amy walked out of the store smiling but when she stepped out of the door the smile faded. She felt bad lying to her friend. Surely Moira wouldn't believe her anyway. In truth, Amy could hardly believe it herself. The memory was there but it didn't feel real. It didn't feel like something that happened to her - maybe to some other Amy, someone totally different to who she was. She wanted to be a doctor since she was a kid, wanted to save people, not kill them.
When she told Moira she was feeling fine now, that was another lie. The mental paralysis Amy felt yesterday was gone, she could now do normal things and talk to people and smile but in reality she was very far from OK. She was trying to process the memory but it was a bit like trying to climb Megaton's walls - before she could get anywhere her arms would get tired and she would slip and fall down. What happened was just too big for her to understand. For now at least, Amy hoped.
Over the next few days she did the same things she did before. She hunted some ants and molerats, she came to visit Gob and she watched the sun set over the Potomac river.
These were raiders, she told herself. They were horrible people who did terrible things to innocent wastelanders. They would would have killed her. They would have probably raped her first. She forced her mind to concentrate on the details of what would have happened to her, as much as it tried to recoil from them. They would have raped her and killed her. Just like they had raped and killed many before her, probably. She had to defend herself. She did the only thing she could do. If she thought about it, she really had no choice. 'I didn't have a choice'. She repeated it in her mind over and over again. 'I didn't have a choice'.
Eventually she felt better. Not great, but definitely better.