Vanitas loved cooking at the Bistrot. He really did.
He really wished his boss didn't know where he lived, though.
He'd been lying on the couch, the wobbling coffeetable pushed close enough for him to reach the Uno deck, when they'd heard the knock at the apartment door. Aqua got up (leaving her cards lying face-down, unfortunately) to talk to the duck in the doorway.
Vanitas rolled over, burying his face in the couch pillow. Pretending he wasn't there. Scrooge's accent grated on his ears despite every attempt to vanish into the upholstery. Didn't Scrooge know that Vanitas had endured too much screaming already? He'd had a Drizzle tack a note to the Bistrot door to tell Scrooge that he wouldn't be coming in, but apparently that wasn't enough to keep his boss from nagging him.
"Taking a vacation?" Scrooge squawked too loudly for Vanitas to ignore. "Who told ye that was approved?
"I did." Aqua's voice was stern. "If you want him to come back at all, you'll let him rest."
"But—me business! Little chef cannae cook everythin' by hiself!"
"Then hire someone else. Or go to work yourself."
Vanitas wondered if Remy could pilot Scrooge, since he had feathers instead of hair. It would be entertaining to watch, assuming Scrooge didn't give Remy too hard a time. Hopefully it wouldn't cause too many problems for Remy that Vanitas couldn't be there tonight.
"Me?" Scrooge's beak flapped audibly, as if the thought of him cooking was completely incomprehensible.
"Yes, you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm busy taking care of my injured boyfriend."
"B-but—ye hafta give me forty-eight hour notice—!"
Aqua slammed the door in his face.
"Don't expect any vacation pay!" Scrooge's voice still echoed from in the hall.
Aqua turned the deadbolt.
"Is it my turn?" she asked, plopping back down on the cushion across the table from Vanitas.
"I love you," he rolled back over and said.
Her face softened a shade pink, despite the fact that Vanitas told her those three words every day.
"You didn't look at my cards, did you?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Nope. Too busy listening to the sweet sound of you telling off my boss." He grinned, folding his hands beneath his chin.
Her lips pursed. "He should know better than to expect you back at work the same week you were tortured."
Vanitas shrugged. He didn't know how jobs normally worked. He was just glad that being tortured was now something that happened outside of work, rather than literally being an occupational hazard.
"It's your turn. I played the six." He took a sip of the water bottle she'd left out for him.
She nodded, laying down a yellow six on top of the green one.
"I love you, too," she responded belatedly.
"Tell me that again after this."
He wiped the water dripping from his mouth, grinned, and slapped down a draw four.
"Nope. Love rescinded," she huffed as she drew the cards, but she couldn't fight off a smile.
"Noooooo," he gave an exaggerated groan. "Our love can withstand kidnapping and maiming, but not the worst evil of all. Uno."
He put down his next-to-last card as he said it—a blue three. His last card was a red three, so hopefully Aqua would try to change the color.
Instead she made him draw two. She kissed one of the two cards and flicked it into his hair.
"That's cheating," he said with a fake pout as he plucked it free. It was a green reverse.
"No it's not. I didn't look at them."
"Yes it is. You kissed it, so now I have to keep it forever. Evil."
While she laughed, Isa stuck his head out of the kitchen.
"Was that Mr. McDuck I heard earlier?" he asked with a frown.
Darn. Vanitas was hoping that he'd say dinner was ready. The simmering potato soup smelled amazing enough to make his mouth water. He'd bet it would feel even more amazing on his raw throat.
"He's gone now," Aqua said without looking up from her cards. "Did you need to talk to him?"
"I am not sure that talk is the right word," he muttered. "I received the bill for our rent this month. He has added a 'pet fee,' which I can only assume is for your occasional Drizzles."
"What?" Aqua gaped.
"Figures." Vanitas snorted. There weren't any Drizzles around right now—he was too weak to divide out any more of his energy long-term, especially with so many of his Unversed still missing in action. "How much is it?"
"It doesn't matter. We're not paying it," Aqua insisted. "Your Inversed practically work for him, and you don't get any additional wages on their behalf. What he's demanding is just ridiculous."
Isa nodded. "I will handle the matter. I have dealt with worse management than a pompous duck."
So had Vanitas, but that didn't make it any less annoying.
"Thanks," he said.
They were lucky to have Isa around to help with stuff like this, since neither Vanitas nor Aqua had ever rented before. If he weren't so attached to having an actual bed now, he would've gone back to camping every night and saved himself the headache.
It wasn't just the bed he liked. He had a place to keep clothes now—and he had more than one shirt, which was nice, since the one he'd been wearing when he was kidnapped was irreparable. There were toilets that only got clogged some of the time, and running water for showers. Aqua hadn't been exaggerating about how relaxing those were.
And, of course, the kitchen. He could cook enough at work, but there was nothing like being able to just heat up some leftovers when he got hungry. No scraping or stealing required.
"Do you want in on the next round?" Vanitas asked Isa before he could duck back into the kitchen.
Isa paused.
"I wouldn't want to interrupt your time together," he said.
"There's nothing to interrupt. It's not like we're making out or anything." Vanitas grinned. "Besides, Uno's more fun with more people."
"At least that would keep him from reversing directly back to himself," Aqua grumbled as Vanitas played the card that she'd kissed.
"...I suppose that would be a better use of time than watching the soup boil."
Isa still went back to check the soup before joining Vanitas and Aqua in the living room. That gave Vanitas time to beat Aqua at their current round, and toss over one of the throw pillows he'd been lying on. Aqua placed it down for Isa to sit on.
"Are you sure you don't need this?" Isa asked, looking reluctant to take the seat.
"Nah. Couch is comfy enough."
If anything, Isa deserved the seat more than Vanitas did—the couch, like most of the other furniture, had come from his and Lea's old apartment. The fancier stuff, like the TV and Lea and Isa's bunk bed, they'd picked up from yard sales.
"No it isn't," Isa replied.
"Hey, we can't all have such high standards," Vanitas joked, resting his head sideways on his palm. "You can shuffle, if it'll make you feel better."
Isa took the Uno deck and shuffled it in a perfect bridge. Could he teach Vanitas how to do that? His own shuffling usually sent the cards flying everywhere.
"You seem to be doing remarkably well, all things considered," Isa said quietly as he dealt out three stacks of seven. "Both of you."
Vanitas shared a glance with Aqua. He wasn't sure he'd say either of them were remarkably well. The physical scars were really the least of it—he'd been too out of it to realize at the time, but not all of the Unversed had been released during Aqua's fight with Larxene. For some reason, he couldn't call the creatures back, and Aqua hadn't been able to find the leftover canisters and free them manually, even with Mike and Sully's help. Vanitas didn't know how long it would take for his strength to return without the full power of his emotions, negative or otherwise. And that wasn't even scratching the surface of Aqua's emotional state.
But they were alive, and they were here, and that was really all that he had asked for.
"I don't mean to downplay… nevermind," Isa mumbled, laying down a blue four on top of Aqua's zero.
"No, no, it's fine. I… I'm glad you think so." Aqua didn't meet either of their eyes.
Vanitas knew she was embarrassed about the others seeing her darkness. And the maiming. Even if she didn't regret it, it was hard for her to talk about. She cared a lot more than he did about the way that people saw her.
"I'm sorry. I have a difficult time speaking clearly, about…" Isa sighed. "I actually wanted to ask your advice on something."
"My advice?" Aqua asked.
"Both of yours." He kept his eyes lowered. Apparently Aqua wasn't the only one who was embarrassed. But hey, it was pretty pathetic to need Vanitas's advice, objectively speaking.
"If you find a box of pizza in a dumpster, make sure to take off the pepperoni before eating it."
Isa and Aqua both stared at him. He took a long gulp of water, so it was a second before he could answer their unspoken question.
"Yeah, I was shocked, too. That stuff will make you throw up anything you managed to choke down."
Aqua looked like he'd just suggested decapitating puppies.
"Didn't you tell me you'd never gotten sick before?"
"Not from germs. Food poisoning doesn't count. Red." He set the water bottle aside and laid down a wild. "Anyway, that's my advice. Take it or leave it."
"I—thank you, Vanitas." Isa shook his head. "However, the advice I require is… of a more… emotional variety…?"
"If you get too mad at a customer, let the Unversed out outside where it can't break anything," Vanitas quipped with a grin.
"Van," Aqua smacked his elbow lightly with her cards, careful not to touch any of the still-tender scars. "I think he's being serious."
"He can't be too serious if he's asking us for advice, can he?"
Isa dropped his head in his hands. His face didn't quite cover the cards he was holding, though—Vanitas peeked at a red reverse and a draw two. Hopefully he used the reverse first; Vanitas's turn was currently after his.
Of course, Isa seemed too distracted to actually take his turn, so maybe it wouldn't matter.
"I'll do my best to help, if I can," Aqua said, laying a hand on the man's arm. "I know Van will, too. You've done so much for both of us."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm just messing with you. Nothing you need help with can be more awkward than me asking you about sex."
Between Isa's fingers, his face reddened.
"Uh. You're not asking us about sex, are you?" Vanitas asked. "Because we, uh, still don't have any personal experience with that, either."
Aqua blushed as badly as Isa. Hopefully he would at least feel comforted by the solidarity.
"I almost wish that were all," Isa groaned. "No, stop being dramatic, Isa. You are only making it worse."
Aqua gave Vanitas a worried look, but he'd heard Isa talk to himself before. Granted, Isa had been pretty stressed and uncomfortable that time, too.
"When you were… taken, Vanitas… I was forced to confront the reality that that could happen to any of us." Isa lowered his hands from his face, revealing a thin frown.
"It won't," Aqua said, more harshly than she probably meant it. "We made rules to prevent that. None of us will go out on our own. Even Roxas agreed."
Aqua had insisted on instituting the buddy system the night that they'd all gotten home from Monstropolis. Vanitas must've looked really bad then, because Ven hadn't argued with her at all. Right now he and Kairi were on their way to pick Lea up from work.
"I am sure that will help," Isa said. "It does not prevent me from worrying, however. And it does not change the fact that… I would like to be more… transparent. Just in case the opportunity is taken from me."
He closed his eyes tightly.
"I want Lea to know how much I care for him. Do you think this is wise?" he finally said in one breath.
Vanitas blinked. "You think he doesn't know?"
"I think I'm going to throw up," Isa dropped his cards, face-up. He had a draw four too, and he wasn't even going to use it? "Excuse me."
"Isa, wait!" Aqua grabbed his arm, pulling him back down before he could fully stand up. "Van didn't mean it like that. And you don't have to be embarrassed; that's sweet."
"Mean it like what? He's been helping you get that other girl back, right? Ven and Lea's other friend?" He snapped his fingers, trying to remember her name. It was getting easier, but the word still vanished at random from time to time.
"Xion," Isa said quietly. "That is… that is a debt I owe him. Roxas, as well. It has nothing to do with my feelings."
"Your… oh. You're in love with him," Vanitas realized.
Isa flinched, glancing toward the door. "Don't say it so loudly."
"Well, you could've just said it instead," he said while thumbing the edges of his cards. He wasn't counting on getting to play them anymore. Isa's love life was going to take forever to sort out if he kept dancing around it like this.
"Oh, like it was so easy for you to tell me?" Aqua teased.
"That's different. Isa's just talking to us; Lea's not even here! Plus, I still barely knew what love was, really…"
"We're not so different, in that regard." Isa sighed. "You already know—and Aqua may as well—that I am asexual."
Vanitas nodded. He was pretty sure that he was, too. Isa had been the one to explain that you didn't have to want sex to be in love, though.
"I am also aromantic. As in, I do not typically experience romantic attraction… and I am not sure I would even consider what I feel now to be traditionally romantic… but I want… to be with him." He cringed, as if just speaking the words hurt him. "I want him to know that. But he is not… like me, in matters of orientation."
"Do you know that?" Vanitas smirked, barely fighting back the urge to laugh. Instead he held up Isa's own reverse card. "You told me not to make assumptions about what Aqua wanted."
"That's why you asked us, specifically, isn't it?" Aqua asked. "Our relationship isn't traditional, either."
She reached out to take Vanitas's hand, and he squeezed hers back. Then he played the red reverse for Isa.
"Your turn, Aqua," he said.
She unhelpfully put down a card that was neither a reverse nor a red.
"That, and I do not exactly have many other options," Isa mumbled. "I am fairly certain that Roxas hates me, even if I had wanted his and Kairi's opinion. Which is one of the issues with bringing this up to Lea, actually…"
Aqua had left her cards face-down, but she was too engrossed in Isa's drama to notice Vanitas flipping them over and replacing her green six with a red eight. Much better.
"Roxas adjusted to me dating Van. I'm sure he would understand."
Isa frowned. "No offense, but considering… everything, your interactions with Roxas are hardly a comforting standard."
Dang it. Things always got messy when Roxas came up. Vanitas put down a blue eight and then tried to pay more attention. His head was getting foggy again after so much talking.
"It's not Van that he still has a problem with, if that's any more comforting," Aqua muttered.
"Hey. It's getting better, right?" He took her hand again, tapping his thumb between her knuckles. "You guys gave him your notes on Xion, and you've had like, at least two civil conversations."
She dropped her forehead on the table, making it wobble unsteadily.
"Ugh. Isa's right. This isn't comforting."
Vanitas reached as far as he could across the table to give her shoulder a soft pat.
"...Thanks," she mumbled.
"I was being serious, though," he said, taking another sip of water. So much talking. "I think that meant a lot to him. He doesn't hate you. He cares that you're trying. And, uh, that you're not trying too hard."
"How can you even know that?"
"Overheard him talking to Kairi. They thought I was asleep." He shrugged.
He'd passed out on the couch for the last few nights, mostly because he'd been too sore and exhausted to move, and it was kind of nice to be within shambling distance of both the kitchen and the bathroom. His and Aqua's bedroom was the furthest one at the end of the hall, which made getting to the fridge for water difficult if he slept there.
"...Okay." Aqua sighed. "We're not here to talk about me, anyway. We're here to help Isa."
"I thought we were here to play Uno," Vanitas said.
Isa scooped up his cards and put down a blue seven. At least he knew how to match a color.
"I appreciate your attempt," he said quietly. "If nothing else, I am glad that the idea of me having a permanent place in your lives does not offend you."
"In our lives?" Aqua frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Yeah, you already live with us."
It hadn't really occurred to Vanitas that Isa's presence might not be permanent. Not that Isa couldn't move out, but—it was surprisingly nice, having everyone in one place.
Having friends was nice.
It didn't hurt that Isa made a pretty good potato soup, too.
"I apologize. I likely wasn't as clear as I should be." Isa tapped his fingers against the table anxiously. "I would like to be with Lea—legally, as well as physically. It would be beneficial to our financial situation, and the presence of a spouse would strengthen Lea's appeal to adopt Roxas. Since he is your brother, in spirit if not blood, that would make me—"
"Lea's doing what?" Aqua stood so quickly, the wind blew the cards off the top of the deck.
Maybe it wasn't the wind made by Aqua standing. Maybe it was the front door flying open, revealing Ven's horrified and Lea's entirely blank expressions.
"Isa's doing what?" Ven gaped.
If Ven looked horrified, then Isa looked like he'd been stabbed. That mix of disbelief, shock, and slowly dawning pain was too vivid.
"Void," Vanitas swore under his breath as everyone started talking at once. They were never going to finish the game of Uno now.
And he'd been hanging onto a draw four this entire time, too.
XXX
Lea dragged Isa into their bedroom and slammed the door.
Isa took stock of his few meager possessions. There wouldn't be much to move, if Lea kicked him out. He had never collected many personal items, and with no disposable income at the moment, most of what he "owned" had been bought by Lea. It wouldn't be fair to take such belongings with him.
You're catastrophizing again, he told himself. Planning for the worst case scenario was how he had survived this long. It was a difficult habit to break.
Lea let go of Isa's wrist, but whirled on him with such frustration that Isa felt he may not have catastrophized enough.
"You mind telling me why the hell you thought telling Aqua about the adoption stuff was a good idea?" Flames flickered around his bare shoulders—only Lea could wear a tank top to work in the middle of November. Twilight Town was more temperate than Radiant Garden, but late fall still carried a chill.
Was this truly what Lea was upset about, though? Not… what else Isa had said?
"I was unaware that she was… unaware," Isa answered, his face schooled to remain impassive. Another difficult habit to break, even with a full-fledged heart. "How long did you intend to hide this from her? Surely you knew that she would find out."
And that she would take it poorly, he didn't add out loud.
He was surprised at the lack of shouts from the other side of the door. No explosions, either. Only muffled voices that his poor auditory processing kept him from making out. All things considered, that was a miracle.
"...Isa? Are you even listening?" Lea snapped.
He jolted to attention, shaking his head.
"My apologies. You were saying…"
"Roxas didn't want to bring it up until we were sure it was even possible," Lea huffed. "He didn't want to have a fight like this over nothing."
"That's rather hypocritical, don't you think?" Isa's head tilted. "Considering how he reacted to Aqua and I researching Xion in secret."
"That's different."
Isa didn't see how, but it wasn't exactly his place to argue. No matter what he wished, he didn't have a claim to Lea's life. He had no right to shoulder the burdens weighing on Lea's chosen family.
He couldn't help. All he could do, it appeared, was create more messes for Lea to clean up.
"I mean… okay, maybe it's not that different." Lea sighed, to Isa's surprise. "Roxas's got this whole complex about people keeping secrets from him, so this stuff is worse on him than Aqua. But it'd probably be easier if we were all transparent about it."
He sat down on the edge of Isa's bunk, rubbing his forehead with the heels of his palms. His stained ice cream shop apron hung loosely around his neck. He already looked the picture of an exhausted single father.
Light, but he didn't deserve to carry this alone.
"Transparent," Isa murmured guiltily. "Right."
"Heh." Lea let out a little snort. "Trans parent. I gotta use that one some time. Y'know, if I don't fail miserably and get Roxas taken away forever."
Isa rolled his eyes. And he thought he was bad about catastrophizing.
"I would like to see anyone attempt to take Roxas somewhere he doesn't desire to go."
Lea flinched. "Don't joke about that, man."
Oh. Isa closed his eyes, feeling foolish. Any of them could be taken. Not just Vanitas, not just Isa, not just Lea. Technically, of all of them, Roxas was the only one besides Vanitas to have been kidnapped before. Isa should have realized that Lea would share that fear.
"I'm sorry." He sat down on his bed, a respectable distance from Lea. "For what it's worth, you clearly have a mastery of dad jokes. What other qualifications do they look for in a legal guardian?"
Lea shrugged.
"Probably having an in-world birth certificate, for one," he muttered. "Tax records, proof of income, stuff I don't get being paid under the table."
Isa took a pad of sticky notes and a pen from atop his dresser and jotted that down. He should've been helping with this earlier, rather than slamming repeatedly against the brick wall of Xion's nonexistence. He could handle paperwork. He'd learned to forge birth records in order to apply to Twilight Town's university during his Organization days.
"Is that all?" he asked Lea.
"Is that—is that all. Geez, Isa, do you think that's easy? Margie's been helping out, but I don't know the first thing about… well, being an adult at all, really." He flopped back on the bed, staring up at the wooden beams supporting the top bunk. "Maybe I'm not cut out to do this for Roxas after all. I know I'm not gonna be his actual dad, but I just… he's been through even more crap than we have. He's never been to school. He can kill Heartless in his sleep, but he doesn't even know how the water cycle works."
Lea's arms were spread wide at his sides. It would have been easy to take his hand, if Isa knew that his friend would find comfort in it.
"He knows about light waves," Isa said instead. "That red is the least easily impeded. Who taught him that, I wonder?"
"I dunno. Some loser who thought it'd make him sound cool."
"Lea." Isa reached for his palm. It hardly seemed like he could make things worse at the moment. "Roxas does not think that you're a 'loser.' Isn't his opinion what matters most?"
Lea bit his lip. His face had turned a warm pink.
"He, uh. He probably would. If he knew that—uh."
"What?" Isa frowned. "I suppose your actions in Castle Oblivion might throw a shadow over your friendship, but I am as much to blame for that, and Even and the others are perfectly—"
"I'm not talking about—I mean, yeah, I murdered people, that was bad. Don't tell the government about that. Pretty sure parents aren't supposed to kill their coworkers."
Isa snorted. "My lips are sealed."
"But. Yeah. I'm more worried about… Geez, I'm gonna throw up." He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Are you ill? I have some antiemetics in the bathroom—"
"That's exactly what I'm talking about," Lea groaned. His grip was still tight on Isa's hand, preventing him from getting up to search for any helpful medication. "How can you talk like that and expect me not to fall head over heels for you?"
Isa's mind ground to a halt. All he could hear was a ringing in his ears.
Lea let go, rolling onto his side. Facing away from Isa.
"I know that's not what you meant. When you told Aqua… you wanted to be with me," Lea said quietly. Guardedly, as if his arms wrapped around his chest could protect his heart. "You just want to pay back what you think you owe me. Which is stupid, anyway, but even if it wasn't, I'm not gonna take advantage of you like that. I wouldn't—marry you or whatever, just to help Roxas, or get a tax break on taxes we don't even pay. I—so—shut up."
Isa couldn't tell if Lea was talking to himself, or to Isa. He chose to interpret it as the former, if only because he would burst if he didn't voice his question.
"You're… in love with me?"
Lea curled further into himself.
"Yeah. Sorry," he murmured.
Maybe Isa should go find those antiemetics. This whole situation still made him feel vaguely nauseous, but… was it because he didn't want Lea's affections, or because he did? The nature of his own romantic orientation had always been elusive. Living for so long as an empty husk certainly hadn't made matters any clearer.
"You know that I am… unlikely, to experience that emotion in the same way that you do," Isa finally replied.
Trapping Lea in an unfulfilling relationship was the last thing that he wanted to do. If Lea really wanted to be with him, he needed to understand what he was getting into.
"Yeah. What do you think I was apologizing for?" Lea huffed.
"I didn't—you don't need to apologize for how you feel."
"Sorry, I don't exactly know the rules for telling my ace best friend I have a stupid crush on him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to stop existing for the next hundred years."
Despite everything, Isa almost laughed at how dramatic Lea was being.
"You're still on my bunk," he pointed out, expecting Lea to grumble back that he'd paid for the whole bed, so he could angst wherever he wanted, thank you very much.
Instead, Lea just rolled off, curling up on the stained carpet instead.
"Lea—don't lie there. You'll catch a disease." Isa slid off the bed, kneeling next to his friend.
His friend who loved him. When Isa wasn't so busy catastrophizing, the thought made him feel… strangely warm.
He trusted Lea. Their differences may have seemed impassable, but that didn't make them impossible. …Perhaps he would tell Lea that. The horrendously sentimental pun might make him laugh, at least.
"Cool," Lea mumbled. "How fast can a disease kill me."
"Not as quickly as I would take you to a hospital. Or have Aqua cast a series of Esunas." He wasn't entirely sure how well the healing spells worked on physical illnesses.
"Stupid stupid housewife material," Lea muttered under his breath.
Isa remembered the last time Lea had said something like that. It had been strangely validating. Had Lea felt this way about him, even back then?
"You love me," Isa said, half teasing, half wondering if saying it again would make it feel more real.
"You don't have to rub it in."
"I care for you too, you know." Tentatively, he rested a hand on Lea's shoulder.
His friend trembled, and Isa couldn't see his face, but he could see the fresh stain on the carpet near his cheek.
"You don't have to try to make me feel better, either. Really." Lea's breath hitched. "You know me. I just have to get all the stupid out of my system, and then I'll be fine. I'll get out of your hair. I can switch beds with—well, uh, Vanitas? Maybe? He probably can't climb up to the top bunk, but I don't think anyone else would bunk with you—no offense—"
"You're not making me uncomfortable, if that's what you're worried about. And I am not just trying to make you feel better." Isa took a deep breath, gathering as much resolve as he could. "It wasn't just about finances, or about politics. I… want to be with you. Perhaps not in the same way that you want, but—surely if I haven't put you off yet, then you understand my… eccentricities."
Lea snorted wetly, then finally turned to look at him.
"…You're really not mad?"
"Lea, I practically stated my intent to propose. Why would you assume I would be upset?"
"When we were eighteen I thought your butt was hot," Lea blurted suddenly.
Isa blinked. Then he burst out laughing.
It felt like a release of everything he'd held in—all his worries that Lea would hate him, all the warm words he'd been too afraid to say.
"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked when he got ahold of himself.
"Sometimes I'm attracted to you! Like, physically, and stuff! Not the butt thing anymore—um, usually—but, y'know—you should know! In case that grosses you out!"
"I've seen you shoot soda out your nose and then drink it. I would be surprised if you could 'gross me out' more than you already have."
That may have been an exaggeration—Lea could surely be more disgusting if he wanted to, but again: Isa trusted him. The fact that he was trying so hard to make sure that Isa wasn't uncomfortable was proof enough of his intentions.
"How you feel is less relevant to me than how you act," Isa clarified. "As long as you do not attempt to… touch my butt, I do not see a problem."
Sacred moon, his face felt like it was on fire just saying that. How had Vanitas worked through his boundaries with Aqua? Maybe it would become easier to navigate once all the cards were on the table, so to speak, but in the meantime, he shared Lea's desire to sink into the floor.
"No butt touching. Got it," Lea said seriously.
"And, ah… as long as you do not feel neglected by my failure to share the same sentiments. About… butts. Or anything else."
"You don't have to think my butt is hot. I'm a big boy. I can know my butt is hot without anyone telling me."
Isa dropped his face into his hands, muffling a slightly hysteric laugh.
"...Doesn't change the fact that Roxas is going to kill me if-slash-when he ever finds out I said all that." Lea winced.
"About your butt?"
"No, about your butt. And—everything else." Lea sighed, sprawling out like a starfish.
Ah. Of course. This had been Isa's primary worry from the very beginning. Lea had proven that he would choose Roxas over Isa before, regardless of how 'hot' Isa's butt was or wasn't.
"I know you do not want to keep secrets from him," Isa said. "But, there needn't be a secret to keep. I can keep out of your way."
"Isa—no. That's stupid. Everyone—everyone's just gonna have to get along. Somehow." He grimaced.
That sounded overly optimistic to Isa. There were things he couldn't atone for, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't deserve to come between Lea and Roxas again.
But he was just selfish enough to hope that Lea was right. That everyone would get along.
Somehow.
XXX
Lea's slamming door shook the whole apartment. Aqua felt it in her bones, like the aftershocks of an earthquake. A shift in the land that could never be restored to its original state.
It's happening again, she thought with a shiver. She was losing Roxas, before she'd even gotten him back.
Only… she wasn't. Roxas was still standing here, in the living room, holding tight to Kairi's hand as he glared daggers in the direction Isa and Lea had disappeared.
Aqua didn't feel as satisfied by his anger as she once had. She didn't want Roxas and Lea and Isa to fall apart. She knew how badly Isa had worked to gain Roxas's trust, in the same way that Aqua had. Pitting them against each other just because she was afraid of losing him to Lea would be more than cruel.
"Was Isa… um, did he really mean that?" Kairi asked, since Roxas looked too furious to say anything.
"I… don't think that's my place to say," Aqua answered carefully.
She'd half expected Van to say something that would incriminate Isa first, but he was face-down in the couch again. He probably didn't have enough capacity for negative emotions left in him to endure this conversation.
Kairi nodded. "Roxas, you're crushing my fingers."
He blinked before dropping her hand.
"Sorry." He looked away. At the ground, at the tiny television, at anything that wasn't Kairi or Aqua. He finally settled on Van's fake-sleeping form. "How's Vanitas doing?"
"Good?" Aqua couldn't keep the confusion out of her voice. She'd expected Roxas to run to his room, if not burst in on Lea and Isa's argument.
Poor Isa. It had been difficult enough for him to open up about his feelings, without having them accidentally aired in front of the whole household.
"Good." Roxas nodded. He seemed to be waiting for something.
Did he… expect her to start shouting, too?
"How was your walk?" she asked, trying to feel out what he wanted from her.
"Good," he echoed. "Nothing suspicious."
Kairi rocked from side to side, as if itching to flee from the awkward non-conversation. Either she was trying to support Roxas, or she was too curious to see if their words would dissolve into arguing.
Me too, Kairi. Me too.
Light, but Aqua was tired. Tired of trying to navigate relationships where she no longer fit in. Tired of grasping for a past that no one else wanted.
If she was honest, she'd let go of that past the moment she'd brought Van back from Monstropolis. No past was as important as the future that they wanted to build together. Roxas got to choose the future he wanted to build, too—whether that future involved Aqua or not. She wouldn't keep trying to hold him back.
"Do you want Lea to adopt you?" she asked directly. Roxas flinched, ready to snap, but she kept going. "I just want to know. I'm not mad."
And she wasn't. For once… she wasn't.
"I… it's easier to do stuff that way." He slumped. "Go to school. Play Struggle on an actual team. Normal stuff."
She tried to imagine Roxas going to school. Sitting in a classroom, at a little wooden desk, like Kairi had described to her before. Aqua had never been to a public school, herself. She'd only seen them in movies. She wondered if there was as much singing and dancing in them as television made it appear. If so, Roxas would likely be popular there, assuming he wasn't too shy to breakdance in public.
"That makes sense." She nodded.
While she and Van had aged after exiting the Realm of Darkness, Roxas hadn't, even after being reunited with his body. He still appeared the same sixteen years old that he'd been when… when she'd last seen him. It would make sense that he'd want to make use of what few teenage years he had left. That he would want the rest of the childhood Xehanort had nearly taken from him.
It almost made Aqua jealous. There was no going back for her. But that opportunity was what Roxas deserved, even if she couldn't join him.
"It does?" Roxas looked surprised.
"Sure. Education is important." She doubted he would continue learning what Master Eraqus had taught—of magic and keyblade wielder history. But it wasn't like there was anyone left who was qualified to teach those subjects.
No one but Aqua. And Roxas wouldn't study under her. She wasn't sure she'd even want him to.
"It wouldn't be until after Xehanort is gone for good," Roxas said quickly. "I don't even know—if I'd be good at it. At… being normal. I guess I just want to know the option's there."
"You don't have to put your life on hold for Xehanort," Aqua reassured him. "He's taken enough from you. If you want to go to school—"
"I want to fight Xehanort." Roxas's face hardened. "I'm going to."
"Okay." Aqua nodded.
Roxas still seemed to be holding his breath. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the explosion that wasn't going to come.
It wasn't. He'd told her what she'd wanted. For once, she swore, she was going to listen.
"...Okay." Roxas finally released his breath. Kairi smiled a little, visibly relaxing beside him.
"So," Vanitas rolled over on the couch, "you guys wanna play Uno?"
Roxas laughed.
"Sure. Why not?"
They were halfway through their second hand of Uno when Isa burst out of the bedroom, rushing to check on the soup. Everyone's eyes followed him curiously, even Van's—though he was probably more intrigued by dinner being ready than by how Isa and Lea's conversation had gone.
The soup was fine, thankfully. The rolls that Isa had left in the oven, unfortunately, were not.
"Sorry." Aqua winced. "I should have thought to check them."
"It's alright." Isa sighed at the charred bricks on his baking sheet. "I was in charge of dinner tonight, not you."
"Hey, lighten up. I happen to like 'em like this." Lea reached across Isa to grab one of the blackened rolls.
He crunched into it with a shower of crumbs and a scrunch of his nose.
"Yep. Perfect." He forced a grin, and Aqua was almost surprised that his teeth were still intact.
"Please do not injure yourself." Isa held the rest of the rolls out of reach.
Aqua ladled out two bowls of soup, one for herself, and one for Van. Surprisingly, the rest of their housemates joined them around the living room table. There was barely enough room for the six of them to fit.
"Huh. Didn't know I was so popular," Van joked, sitting up to make room for Aqua to squeeze in beside him.
"Hey, it's not every day we're all here together for dinner," Lea said.
"Plus the kitchen still smells like burnt rolls," Roxas added.
Aqua smiled. The soup was warm, and so was the conversation, for the most part. Roxas still avoided speaking to Isa where he could, and the sentiment appeared mutual. But Lea cracked jokes about his time at work, and Van bragged about his Uno wins, and Roxas filled them in on what was going on in the greater worlds. Kairi had finally gotten ahold of Sora to ask about Xion, so he and Riku would be visiting soon. The good news was enough to lift everyone's spirits.
Aqua wrapped her arm around Van's waist, and he rested his head on her shoulder. No one spared them a second glance. Their little family had come a long way since Lea had first worried that Van might be a double agent.
We… we are a family, aren't we? Whether or not Roxas ever became as close to her as he'd once been. Whether or not Kairi ever took up a position as Aqua's apprentice. Whether or not Isa and Lea made things official.
They weren't a lin. Maybe they never would be. But they were a family, and Aqua would do her best to be here for them.