Chapter Four

7.36pm

Adrien lit the first candle, then strolled along, lighting the next candle, the next…there were twenty candles in all. He cast a look up to the sky…it was still light, but he could see the beginning of evening. His heart beat fast and he checked his watch. He let himself wonder.

Am I doing the right thing?

Once done, this could not be undone.

He tried to imagine her reaction.

Remembering all the times that he as Cat Noir had spent time with her, visited her…when she had practiced her declaration of love, not knowing that it was for him, the other side of him… I was so oblivious, he thought.

She might be so embarrassed, he thought, wanting to protect her.

But one day…one day she would have to know. The longer he waited…maybe the worst it would be. Maybe…maybe she wouldn't be able to trust him for keeping it secret for this long…

She is forgiving. She is compassionate.

If I wait any longer, then she could be less forgiving. All the trust she's placed in me…how hard she's worked to trust me…that would be wasted…

His throat moved as he swallowed his fear. He lit the last candle and cast a look over the rooftop. He'd brought pillows and blankets here, and roses. A long time ago, he'd planned to woo Ladybug…and instead he'd spent the evening with Marinette. This was no copycat of that date…it was larger than that, a way to hint to her who he was…to tell her who his heart belonged to.

It was time.

He looked down at the ground, and saw Marinette walking up the street, glancing down at her phone, then at the house numbers. He saw the puzzlement on her face.

He'd chosen this house carefully…he knew it was empty. He went downstairs, his steps echoing along the floors. A year ago he'd hidden in this house to transform into Cat Noir while one of his fans pretended to be him, so that Ladybug wouldn't be distracted trying to protect him, wouldn't suspect him.

He ran down the stairs, and opened the front door as Marinette walked up the path, the puzzlement plain on her face, though it lit up at the sight of him, sending a bolt of warmth through him. He opened the door wider, sweeping his arm out to welcome her, a smile tickling at his mouth, feeling like an edge of his other self was finally able to escape.

She leaned close and tilted her face up, kissed him lightly, then withdrew, her blue eyes flickering over their surroundings. "This is…different," she murmured.

He smiled and closed the door behind her. "It's safe, Marinette. I promise."

He felt like he could hear her heart beating as she followed him up the stairs, feel a frisson of nervousness through her with every creak of the stairs.

Her fear was fading as she glanced at the walls around them, intrigued. "How did you find this kind of place?" she asked.

"I was exploring one day," he said, as he opened the door onto the rooftop, and stepped in front of her. "Marinette…do you trust me?"

"Yes," she whispered. He saw the pulse in her throat as he gently covered her eyes with his hands and steered her onto the rooftop.

"Keep your eyes closed," he whispered, seeing that two of the candles had blown out. The sun was dipping over the rooftops, casting a scarlet glow over them. She obeyed, standing still with her eyes closed. He went and relit the candles with one of the still burning candles, hardly noticing the drops of wax on his fingertips, and came back to her. He drew in a deep breath. "Open your eyes," he whispered.

She opened her eyes to the candles all around them, the pillows strewn cozily, the roses and petals.

Her breath caught in her throat, and her hand moved to it as though she couldn't breathe. "Adrien…this is beautiful…"

He took a deep breath and kissed her softly. "Here," he encouraged, walking over to the little ledge under which he'd stowed a picnic basket.

She giggled softly, her eyes darting around. "I doubt there's videogames in there this time…"

"Just food," he agreed, opening it and taking out a folded cloth, laying it out between the pillows, and glass bottles of soda, a bag of sandwiches and fruit, pastries and salad.

In quiet, comfortable silence they shared the food between them.

The sunset darkened to a crimson shot through with inky black. Marinette lay back on the pillows, her hands behind her head. She tilted her head to study Adrien.

There was something…about him. At moments he seemed blissful. At other moments, he looked thoughtful. His green eyes met hers. His throat moved, his lips parted like he wanted to say something.

"What is it, Adrien?" she whispered, fear suddenly going through her. The last time he'd been trying to tell her something…the night of the end of year dance, when he'd told her that he was being sent to London…was something wrong?

Her instincts warred with her fears.

He took a deep breath, his green eyes uncertain for a moment. "There's…something I need to tell you," his voice was soft. "I…I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I didn't, because I wanted to keep you safe."

She sat up slightly, listening intently, watching him closely. "What is it, Adrien?" she said again, softly.

He was silent for a moment as though trying to decide on what to say. Finally, he got up. "I…don't know what's better to do. To tell you. Or show you."

"Tell me? Show me?"

"Marinette, kiss me," he said softly, reaching forward, and kissed her deeply. There was an edge to it. Something danced along the edges of her memories…as Adrien's kiss became harder, and the pressure of his hands along her back…

"Marinette, kiss me!" his lips met hers hard, fast, his green eyes lost in fear and emotion…green, green eyes with yellow like summer leaves succumbing to autumn, with a slitted pupil…a rock in her sea of rage and anguish…

She pulled away in panic. "No!" she couldn't help it. Her shoulder banged against the wall.

Adrien pulled her away from the wall, his green eyes alight with anxiety. "Are you okay, Marinette?"

Panic was flaring through her. "What's going on, Adrien?" She saw fear in his eyes. She saw something else though…maybe she felt like she saw her own fear reflected in his eyes. Fear and suspicion… This can't be…he can't…

She took a deep breath. "I forgot something," her voice came out a blurt. "I forgot my parents to tell them…" she couldn't even make sense of her lies, she scrambled to her feet. "I left my machine sewing on…the stove…the…!" she wanted to scream in exasperation.

Adrien was staring at her like she was mad. She didn't blame him. "Marinette!" he pleaded, reaching for her.

"Please, please don't," she said finally. Her eyes were large, afraid. She reached for the door, and grabbed the handle, letting herself into the stairwell, slamming the door shut behind her, as Adrien reached for it, trying to pull it open.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she slid down to the floor, her back against the closed door. Tikki zoomed out of her purse. "Marinette!"

"Please, Tikki, tell me it's not him," Marinette pleaded. She knew Tikki had to know. Cat Noir and Ladybug had used each other's kwamis before…they just never talked about it, never asked their kwamis…until now.

Tikki said nothing. Her bright blue eyes were solemn.

"Oh…oh…" Marinette crumpled, tucking her head between her knees. She pressed her lips shut as a cry of anguish tried to erupt. Tikki pressed her face close to Marinette's cheeks. "Dearest, what's wrong?" she pleaded.

"Is it safe for me to know who he is?" Marinette whispered through tears. "Tikki, I can't risk him becoming Cat Blanc."

"That was when his father was Hawkmoth," Tikki whispered. "Maybe…maybe it's safe now—" her small voice cut off in a gasp though.

And that was when someone appeared on the steps, all in black, but for his wild mop of golden hair, staring at Marinette in horror out of deep green-yellow eyes.

Cat Noir.