Let's take a feel train for a while. I was imagining an angsty Kongou and this happen.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kantai Collection or any of its characters. The songs I used in this also belongs to their respective owners as written.
I'm not calling you a liar
So don't lie to me
And I love you so much
I'm gonna let you kill me
Florence + The Machine - I'm Not Calling You A Liar
"AAAAADDDDMIIIIIIIIIRRAAAAAAAAAAAALLL!"
Shouhou couldn't suppress her giggle when she saw that familiar jolt Admiral Tendouji Airi made whenever that voice came echoing from the corridor. The admiral was looking through the window towards the pier that time, and from where the light carrier ship girl stood, she could see how the admiral's back brace for impact. Sure enough, a few seconds later the door swung open with a bang and Kongou stood as firm as she always did, with a smile so wide it was blinding.
And the LOVE. Oh, the LOVE. Flaring in her eyes.
"BUUUUUUUUUUUUURNING..." a leap, with a cry of joy. "... LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!"
And the window made a creak when the admiral was sandwiched by the window and the battleship... and not releasing her super tight, suffocating hug, there began the routine shower of kisses from Kongou.
"I LOVE YOU DESU! CHU! CHU! CHU!"
Shouhou wondered how that seemed like from the pier below if anyone were to look up. Must have looked like some NTR hentai scene.
"... ah... yes, Kongou. Good morning..."
It must have been pretty interesting to see from a new angle.
- The Battleship's Family -
Although it seemed like the level of love craze Kongou had for the admiral was something magical, the admiral's relationship with Kongou didn't happen magically. The battleship didn't get instantly smitten by the admiral in one day. Shouhou was the one who understood that the most as she watched everything happened in close proximity, being the admiral's secretary from the day she came. It was also among the reason why Shouhou complied to be the admiral's secretary and remained among her most faithful adjutants.
When the new admiral arrived in the naval base, the condition of the base was still filled with bitter negativity. There were not many ship girls but the trust between the ship girls and their commander were dangerously low. The last admiral was the real definition of an a**hole admiral. He put ships into impossible battles, pushing them all to their limit and treating them like easily replaceable weapons. To cut supply, he used destroyers like expendables and whenever possible, he rarely resupply his fleets. Lost was imminent. There was never a day where the dock was empty. When word finally got out, the admiral was stripped from his job without honor. The superiors came themselves apologizing to all ship girls on the behalf of the navy and promised that the same thing wouldn't happen anymore.
The trust to the new admiral however, was dangerously low. Everyone did have hope that the new one would be a good one but they never expected much as it was ingrained in their mind how the last admiral had treated them: they are weapons and no more. And that was what they shall be no matter who came.
It was a realistic view of the life they were in. There was nothing good about it though.
"Nice to meet you, Shouhou. I'm Admiral Tendouji Airi."
The first time Shouhou met the admiral, it was by the office. The Grand Marshal himself came and introduced the new admiral. The new admiral was around the same height as Shouhou, with long black hair that almost akin to her own, only that the admiral's was flowing down freely to the small of her back. Shouhou, for a few second, was confused and stood there dumbfounded. A ship girl?
The first thing the new admiral did upon seeing her reaction, was laughed.
"No, no, I am not a ship girl. I'm a woman though. I hope that isn't a problem?" She said as she stifled her laughter with an amused expression. The grand marshal gave a booming laughter. "I hope we will work well from now on."
The only females they have met were themselves. All the other staff, everyone that had come to the naval base, other than ship girls they were all male. They couldn't exactly pinpoint where the admiral stood.
Seeing a female admiral was a big question mark and each one of the ship girls established their understanding and adjusted to the new admiral in slow, careful steps.
Kongou was not an exception.
Originally a sanguine and confident personality, during the time of the previous commander her cheerful demeanor was altered. The previous commander was surely among her most favorite imaginary AP shell targets. She was also among the strongest causes of why the admiral got his job taken away from him pretty harshly. It was not without reason, and rightfully so. Even someone who seemed as carefree as Kongou had time when she took things into her own hand the hard way.
There was a story of why there were only two Kongou class battleships in the naval base when the new admiral came, despite all advantages the class could give to a small base: they had lost the other two in a battle. Kongou obviously didn't take that very well.
Shouhou remembered the dark cloud looming over the base that day. It was the day when they came home after a big operation with failure and loss, a huge loss.
Kongou and Haruna were in another battle when the news of the sinking of her first sister Hiei, and the next day was of her last, Kirishima, got to her. No words could describe the apparent change of personality in the battleship girl when she and her fleet arrived at the base shortly after. There were only dead silence and bitter understanding—the understanding that everything was wrong. Horribly wrong. What emanated from the eldest of the Kongou class battleship were molten fury and hatred—almost a stark contrast to Haruna's silent yet excruciating grief. Cold, cold fire burned in the eldest's eyes as she walked in long steps towards the admiral room, completely ignoring her burnt miko clothes and battleworn body. No one actually had the courage to raise their voice to greet or stop her, no one except Nagato, who hissed, "whatever you're going to do, Kongou, DON'T do it."
There was no reply from the battleship or even any sign of her listening to Nagato's words. Knowing that something bad could happen, Nagato tailed behind her—hands clenched into fists, eyes locked on Kongou's back.
Without a knock or a greeting, Kongou slammed open the door of the admiral's room.
There was a deadly silence for a while... before suddenly loud swearing was heard, along with the sound of furnitures crashing. When Shouhou and the other ship girls, who were waiting in a safe distance before the commotion, arrived at the room, they found Nagato barely holding a furious Kongou, who had one foot on the admiral's desk, ready to jump on the admiral who had fallen to the floor—blood colored his face from his broken nose.
"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" One, very powerful tug and Kongou broke free from Nagato's grip, ripping her Miko clothes' sleeve. In a move too fast for others to follow, she leaped on top of the admiral—grabbing his collar and slamming his back the floor with a sickening dull sound. "FUCK YOUR ORDERS! WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE?! SAY THAT AGAIN AND I WILL F—"
"Stop it, Kongou!" Nagato grabbed her arm at the right time, right when her fist was up for another punch at the admiral's face. There was blood on Kongou's right fist. The admiral's. Rushing in, Tenryuu grabbed Kongou's other shoulder, trying to tug her off the admiral. But her grip on his collar was strong, and her strength overpowered the light cruiser. Takao came a second later to help pry her off. "Kongou, don't be stupid! Stop this!"
"YOU SENT MY SISTERS TO DIE!"
"STOP, Kongou!"
"YOU FUCKING SINK THEM! You—"
"Control yourself!" Nagato, helped by Tenryuu and Takao, finally tugged the battleship off the admiral up to a half stand—making her released her grip on the admiral's collar at that the same time. Kongou was still struggling though and it took all of Nagato, Tenryuu, and Takao, to hold her. "Stop this! KONGOU!"
"SCRAP HER!" screamed the admiral as he slowly stood up, covering his bleeding nose. Defiant eyes met him as he pointed at Kongou, who was ready to jump at him again if not for three girls holding her. "SCRAP HER AT THIS INSTANCE!"
"No!" Haruna broke out of the crowd of Kanmusu by the door. At the sound of her voice, Kongou froze. Especially when Haruna put herself between her sister and the admiral. "No! Please! Please, Admiral! I'm begging you, don't scrap Oneesama!"
"I don't need a ship that defy my orders!" said the admiral. He moved his eyes to look Nagato, Tenryuu, and Takao, who were still holding Kongou in restrain but making no other move. "Get her to the factory! NOW!"
"NO! Please, Admiral—"
"I disagree with your judgment, Admiral."
Kaga's cold, calm voice was the least that anyone would expect in that kind of time. Every eye turned to look at the aircraft carrier who walked closer in slow steps, seemingly unperturbed with all the commotion. In an instance, everything stood still. Although it was true that she was the current secretary ship, which made her words weighted more than the others, strength was pushed inside her words. The admiral narrowed his eyes and hissed, "YOU as well, Kaga? You wish to—"
"Kongou-san is invaluable for this base," said Kaga, her voice emotionless as it always been. "She is your second strongest firepower after Nagato-san. With Kirishima-san and Hiei-san gone, you have only three battleships. Without her, our firepower will greatly decrease and the Abyssal will be too much for us. With the current reserve of resources, Kongou-san's resource consumption and performance ratio is critical for our advance and defense. To scrap her now for your emotional satisfaction will be no different from giving the flag of the naval base to the enemy."
"I do NOT need a ship that disobey me," The admiral's voice was a hiss: slow and dangerous. "I can make another. I don't necessarily need HER."
Not this Kongou.
A taboo that should not have been said.
A brief silence hung between them—a heavy, emotional silence. Tenryuu visibly clashed her teeth together to contain her emotions, her restrain on Kongou faltered into a mere touch on the shoulder because she would sooner punch the admiral herself. Seemingly ignoring the heavy atmosphere, Kaga continued. Her voice, for once, filled with distinct intimidation.
"No, you do need her," The aircraft carrier took a step forward. "You need her experiences, level, equipment, capabilities, judgment, and self. You will lose it all in a new ship, if, perchance, you do get a new battleship. With the current rate of construction success this naval base is having, it is quite unlikely that you will be able to construct a new good ship. In addition to that, you have several other ships need to be docked. If by any chance either me or Akagi-san were to be damaged, you will not have enough resources to repair us, even if you have enough instant bucket. With the rate you are using the destroyers, you will not achieve success in expeditions, not in the near future. They are fatigued and that affects their performance. To waste a valuable, experienced, and high level battleship for petty things such as pride will earn you nothing."
Shaking with anger, the admiral talked between clenched teeth, "Petty? Are you insulting me, Kaga?"
"I did not," there was no change in her voice. She dropped it lower. Her eyes brimmed with unshakeable confidence only she could pull. "Only because it is the truth."
Another silence hung between them. It was a silent conflict, so clear it was almost palpable, but the winner was already decided. The shaking of the admiral's hands indicated his immense anger towards his defeat. Finally the admiral straightened his stance and after throwing disgusted look towards Kongou, he turned his back.
"Take her away from here! I don't want to see her, or any of you, for now," the admiral didn't even look back as he said it. Kongou shrugged off Nagato, Takao, and Tenryuu's hold. Nagato had her hand firmly on the other battleship's shoulder though, giving the pressure that hold her friend's temper in place. The admiral glanced at Kaga, who was about to walk away like everyone else. "You, however, stay. I need a word with you, Kaga."
The dark eyes of the aircraft carrier remained unreadable as they always were and she gave a slight nod to the admiral.
"Understood."
Kongou threw a brief look at Kaga—who returned her gaze silently—before she finally turned around and walked away. There was not a word exchanged or anything more but that was enough. Haruna bowed deeply in front of Kaga, then the admiral, before she hurried outside to catch up to her sister.
The door to the admiral room swung close.
No one other than Kaga herself knew what conversation took place behind that closed door after that.
It was among the major trigger where everyone realized that the admiral was out of the line. When the harassment happened, that was the end of any minuscule tolerance left. From then on Nagato lead them all to report the admiral to the higher echelon. Everything else that the admiral had done was disclosed and in less than a week the admiral was stripped off his job. The damage, however, had been done.
What was lost cannot be brought back and what was done could not be undone. What Kongou did will forever be written in her resume.
When the new admiral was eventually appointed, it was logical that she requested the archives of every ship girl in the base. It was the first day of work for the admiral, and the first thing the new admiral did was calling every ship one by one to the room—reading their archives and asking them questions. As a secretary ship—chosen by the navy before the admiral even came, Shouhou had to be there the whole time, writing down everything necessary and providing anything the admiral needed.
Haruna was called in. She was not the first one in, but somehow when Shouhou saw the battleship, she remembered Kongou and her feelings sank. So far the admiral had been really friendly and nice to every one of the ship girls, asking general questions and things like what they would like to be improved from the naval base. However, it was pretty different with Kongou-class. Attacking an admiral, no matter the cause, was an act to be noted. There was an obvious reason why Kongou had been used almost non stop since the incident—A punishment, and a way to prevent her from spending time in the base. It was clearly expressed. However, if the new admiral noticed it, it was admirable that she didn't show it when she read the archives earlier. On top of it all, Kongou was out on a campaign. For the sixth time of the week.
Holding the other ship girls' archives, Shouhou stood in front of the admiral's desk rather uneasily. Everything would have been written in the report. Every conduct that all ship girls did. There was no telling of what the admiral might think about any of them and that made her uneasy.
There was no change of expression as the admiral finished the report though, to Shouhou's surprise. The admiral merely put down the archive then looked at the battleship in front of her, entwining her fingers together.
Her brown eyes were calm and there was a faint smile on her face when she looked at Haruna. The battleship answered the gaze with a rather shy, uncertain eyes.
"What are the things you like the most, Haruna?"
The question clearly wasn't something that the ship girls expected. Haruna blinked, hesitating, but it was clear that tension dissipated from her shoulder. She asked slowly, "What things, Admiral?"
Admiral Tendouji laughed and said, "Anything! What do you like the most?"
"Anything? That Haruna likes the most?" The admiral gave a nod. Haruna gave her smile and a straight, confident answer. "Of course it's Oneesama!"
Shouhou took a sharp intake of breath while the admiral raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"Oneesama?"
Haruna nodded firmly, a fond smile touched her lips.
"Kongou-oneesama always leads us and looks after us, Kongou-class," Haruna's golden eyes turned gentler. She joined her fingers together. "Whenever Oneesama is around, everything seems to always be fine, that things will go well somehow. Oneesama always protects us and cares about us more than anyone else. She is so bright, so kind, so strong.. Oneesama is someone I look up to, a family I really love. There isn't anything else I like more than her."
There was silence after Haruna's words. The admiral merely watched the battleship girl before her, her eyes unreadable. Shouhou couldn't put a finger on her superior's expression but somehow there was no worry. There was nothing ominous in the admiral's disposition. After a while, a smile curved up the new admiral's lips.
"I see," she chuckled. The admiral rested her chin on her palm, smiling fondly when she eyed Haruna. "I was just asking about what you like, so that I can have an idea on how to improve the base. I didn't expect that answer."
Blush formed on Haruna's face and the girl quickly bowed down.
"I-I'm sorry, Admiral! I did not manage to answer your question! Haruna is very sorry!"
"No, no! Don't apologize! It's my fault that I didn't make that clearer for you anyway," she laughed. Her eyes softened. "On the contrary, Haruna, that was a very good answer."
"Admiral.."
A kind smile adorned the admiral's face once again.
"Family will always be a very good answer for that kind of question."
The session ended smoothly, with Haruna bowing several times before she went out of the door. The door closed with a click and somehow it was a cue for air to return breathable for Shouhou once again. The light carrier quickly turned to look at her admiral, who was flipping through another archive. It did not seem like anything was unusual from her admiral's expression or movement.
After a minute of silence, the admiral said her first statement.
"I like that girl."
"Y-Yes, Admiral?"
The admiral chuckled.
"Reminds me of my own little sister," She said lightly. "Call the next please, Shouhou. We still have a few more girls to hear."
After a few more destroyers, the session was over. Shouhou thanked Shigure as the last one to go, then turned back to find the admiral already on her feet, stretching. The light carrier gave a nervous smile and said, "Otsukaresama deshita, Admiral."
"Otsukaresama," The admiral gracefully answered her back, dropping her arms with a huff. She tidied some archives on her desk, flipping through several more. Shouhou watched her admiral's conduct nervously from the side. She then saw one archive filled with note clipped on them. The admiral took it and went through the documents a little longer while still standing. After a while she finally glanced at her secretary ship, a smile on her face.
"Do you want to go drinking after this, Shouhou? I will pay for you."
"P-Pardon?"
Shouhou gripped the clipboard in her arms tighter, her face blazed. The admiral laughed at her reaction.
"It has been a long day for you too. Come accompany me, will you? Make it girls' night out! I am tired of drinking with old men. They say nothing but dirty jokes, how disgusting. I wonder if they forget that I am female."
"I.. Is that… okay, Admiral? I mean, I am but a kanmusu…"
"You're my secretary," said the admiral gently, smiling. "My colleague. Let's drink for the work to come, shall we? Oh, I will leave the place to you. I am new around here. You can see this as a job, guiding me around."
Colleague…
Such a concept was so foreign that Shouhou didn't know how to react. It felt surreal. Were they not mere weapons? The admiral was human. They, on the other hand, were ship girls. However, this admiral felt so similar with them too. She acted like them, talked like them, looked exactly like them without armaments, and she regarded them almost as equal. Having her as a superior was too strange….
Yet Shouhou could not help but to feel… happy. And hopeful, for once.
"Ma… Mamiya-san has really good menu, Admiral."
"Oh my, really? Of what kind?"
"Many different assortment of desserts… and I believe at night she provides some liquor as well."
"Desserts! Sweet! You know, after a hard day's work, I think…"
Shouhou didn't realize it that time because of the mixture of happiness and relief, but the admiral only put one document inside her briefcase to bring home: the one with the many clipped notes.
It would be a while later until Shouhou knew that the documents were Kongou's.
A few more days passed. The girls that had been on expedition on the first day of the admiral's admittance were called out for interview. All, but Kongou. It was because after her arrival, she would definitely be ordered for another voyage right away. At first Shouhou thought there must have been a mistake but then she understood it was deliberate. This admiral, too, would not let Kongou rest at the naval base.
The campaign were also getting progressively farther and farther away. The admiral was a kind woman but Shouhou started to think if all the smile and gentle expression were fake. After all, she could not claim that she knew many things about human. What she knew about the male species however, was unpleasant to say the least. Would this admiral, who looked a lot like them, also be the same?
Finally Haruna expressed her concern to Shouhou when they met by the courtyard, the battleship was waiting for Shouhou to pass by on her way to the office. Upon seeing the light carrier, the battleship stood up from her sitting place by the bench in the middle garden of the naval base compound. After a usual greetings and bow, she went directly to her point.
"I have not seen Oneesama for the longest time," Haruna gave a sad smile. "I know Oneesama is strong but… but I am sure that even Oneesama has her limit, Shouhou-san… Can you please inform the Admiral?"
Shouhou immediately recalled the admiral's expression and comment when Haruna was interviewed.
"I like that girl. Reminds me of my own little sister."
The light carrier smiled gently and said, "Have you talked to Admiral yourself, Haruna-san? I am sure the Admiral will listen."
"I actually just did…" Haruna trailed her words. She glanced worriedly at the window of Admiral's room. "I just did but she only said I have nothing to worry about, and that I should trust Oneesama. Ah, I know I should and I do trust Oneesama but…"
The battleship pursed her lips. She looked troubled and reasonably so. Kongou's missions were unusual. Shouhou herself had not met Kongou for a long time. As someone who lived in the same naval base, that was totally not a normal thing to happen. Haruna eventually said that she was fine, although politely adding, "if it would not be much of a problem for you, would you please kindly ask the admiral?" at the end of the conversation.
Haruna's words lingered in the back of Shouhou's mind. When she arrived at the main office and saw the admiral sitting behind her desk and flipping through documents just like usual, suddenly she felt like everything was quite surreal.
Since the new admiral's arrival, Shouhou must admit that the whole atmosphere of the naval base changed. The new admiral fixed the previously ignored problems around the naval base. The damages by the ship girls dorms, broken equipments, uneven resources distribution, low rations, or even the gardens were meticulously fixed and readjusted. Most importantly, the girls all eased up. They were given appropriate breaks between their training and sorties. They were also being addressed gently and politely. They were treated not as assets, but as co-workers, partners.
However, things like what happened to Kongou made Shouhou wondered if all of these bliss were merely facade.
It made her so uneasy, especially since she knew she was fond of the new admiral. To feel that she had to be wary of someone she actually wanted to be close to…
When she finally confronted the admiral about Kongou's situation, the admiral's eyes turned unreadable.
"I will take care of Kongou personally after I gain my foothold, for now she is beyond my jurisdiction. Sending her far away is the best that I can do."
Shouhou was about to ask more but the admiral read her moves and continued with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. She is strong. She will be alright. Please tell Haruna that her sister is fine."
The tone in the admiral's statement marked that the conversation was over. Shouhou knew she had to tread carefully so she didn't ask further. It was rather strange for the admiral to avoid it. To pry for it would not be good as well and Shouhou was not the type to do so.
In the end, Shouhou let it drop and informed Haruna what the admiral told her. The kind battleship thanked her, but it was apparent in her smile and eyes that she was worried and saddened.
They both knew it was all because of the incident with the old admiral. It has reached the fourth week now after that incident. For four whole week Kongou had been away. Actually she came back from time to time, but it was usually only for less than 24 hours. So far, other than her own expedition or sortie team, only the new admiral and Haruna, who shared room with her, had met her.
"It doesn't seem like this new admiral is the type to actually do underhanded method," Nagato said during one of their lunch when Shouhou expressed it. The dreadnaught battleship gave a reassuring smile. "Kongou is a good ship. She will be fine."
Shouhou sighed, suddenly feeling like lying down. She couldn't even ask to her own admiral. What kind of secretary ship is she? She hung her head low and said, "Why don't Nagato-san become the secretary ship? Nagato-san is way more suited than me…"
If she were Nagato, she would surely be able to confront the admiral right away.
"Shouhou, you have been doing a good job and the admiral seem to work well along with you," said Nagato with a laughter in her voice. "I am flattered but I am better in things other than paperwork. Hang in there."
Paperworks. Paperworks were the least of Shouhou's concern at that moment.
Thankfully, the answer to the predicament would soon come. Kongou would soon arrive after her long journey.
They didn't expect it would be THAT soon, however.
A sudden distress call came from Kongou's fleet, alerting the whole base. It was practically in the dead of the night, with the seemingly perpetual rain of tsuyu season showering the whole naval base. Despite the hour, the admiral was by the command room the next second. With her hair tousled and her white admiral uniform unbuttoned, it was clear she rushed from her quarter. It was quite a sight to see to see her in her casual clothes yet still looked so alert at the same time.
Haruna was among the first to arrive by the command room. Even if she looked worried, she didn't say a thing. Ooyodo, the one in charge of the shift that night, listened intently to the admiral's direction. Meanwhile more girls arrived. By the time the admiral turned around, her ship girls were already lining up by the space behind the planning table, neatly according to their class.
She gave a nod of approval.
"Choukai, you will go as the flagship. Your team will be Ayanami, Mutsuki, Kiso, Sendai, and Ashigara. Equip the searchlight. Sendai, bring your night scout. Ayanami, load the starshell. Avoid enemy encounter as best you can. You priority is to bring the northern fleet back safely. Dismi-"
"Admiral, please wait!"
Haruna's voice cut off the admiral's last word. All eyes quickly turned to look at the battleship, who stepped forward at the same time. Her hands were clenched by her side. Shouhou felt a strange sensation when the brown eyes of the admiral seemed to know Haruna would say something.
"I request your permission to join the rescue team," said Haruna. Her voice was firm. "I am a fast battleship. I can join without slowing down the speed of the rescue team and I can contribute to fleet firepower. Besides-"
"Rejected," The admiral didn't even wait for Haruna to finish. The atmosphere changed right away as uneasiness settled firmly on them. It was unusual for the admiral to actually not listening to her ships. Haruna was about to continue but the next one to say something was, surprisingly, Choukai.
"As the flagship of the fleet, I request for Haruna-san's presence as well, Admiral," She seemed calm, but Shouhou could see her tensed muscles. "A battleship's presence will increase our chance of survival."
There was something in the several seconds of silence that told Shouhou that these survival calculation was not what the admiral was thinking. The admiral's next words were delivered in an authoritative tone, so unlike her usual way of talking.
"The rescue fleet remained the same. You will depart now, Choukai. The longer we wait, the more dangerous it will be for them."
"Understood."
Despite everything, Choukai knew not to push. She and her fleet bowed, then went out of the room. Haruna's clenched fists trembled but she said nothing else. The admiral turned to look at her and her tone suddenly dropped softer.
"I will need you and Nagato here. Your battle power is indispensable for the defense of this base. The Abyssal's movement is unusual and I will not risk the base. I hope you understand."
"Yes, Admiral."
Haruna bowed to the admiral before stepping back to her place behind Nagato. It was hard to read her expression, even if Shouhou stood by the right side of the admiral. The admiral returned her stare at the other ship and continued, "I need all of you to be alert and on stand by. The route where the distress call was coming is usually a safe route to return to the base. It seems there is unprecedented change in the movement of the Abyssal. We need all power we have to be ready for combat at any given time. Reserve your powers until future orders. Dismiss."
"Yes, Admiral!"
The girls gave the admiral a firm salute, then bowed and broke their formations. The admiral suddenly called, "Haruna."
Haruna, who was about to go out of the room with the others, stopped her movement and returned before the admiral, just like how she was ordered to. Strangely, the admiral didn't say anything, not until the last ship girl went out of the room and the door closed-leaving only Haruna, the admiral, Shouhou, and Ooyodo in the command room.
With the click of the door, the admiral dropped her stance. A smile came to her face again and she said, gently, "At ease, Haruna."
The only change was Haruna's expression. She also brought her hands together and pursed her lips. She threw a look at Shouhou, who didn't know what to reply, then back to the admiral, who had her attention shifted to Ooyodo.
"The situation, Ooyodo?"
"They are holding off, Admiral. Two taiha, Makigumo and Suzuya-san. The rest are chuuha. The rescue team will be ready to depart in ten seconds, Admiral."
"Send them off."
"Understood."
The admiral turned back to look at Haruna, who still stood by her former place. The battleship seemed uncertain, but it was clear from the way she regained her composure every time the admiral looked at her, that her professionalism kicked in.
If there was reason for the admiral to make her stay behind…
The battleship bowed.
"... Haruna apologize for interrupting your command, Admiral. I did not mean to doubt your judgement. That was insolent of me."
The admiral didn't answer right away. She watched the battleship for a while with a rather saddened look, before she finally said, "I am not angry, Haruna. Lift your head. I do not ask you to stay to punish you."
After that reply, Haruna straightened herself. She had her hands joined together once again, quite uncertain. Her eyes were filled with questions when they looked up to meet her admiral's.
"Please, like I said, be at ease," The admiral smiled reassuringly. She then said gently, "Would you like to stay here with us? I will permit you."
Haruna looked at the admiral, then Shouhou who nodded at her.
She finally understood.
"... If I am allowed to, Admiral…"
The admiral smiled and nodded.
"Shouhou, I'm sorry but could you make us some tea? It seems like it will be a long night."
Waiting was never a comfortable thing, especially when they knew every second that went by might mean a certain death. Haruna sat straight, gripping her cup of tea by her lap. Although her line of sight seemed to be fixated on the numerous blinking lights of the big radio apparatus Ooyodo was operating, her consciousness seemed to roam somewhere else. The admiral sat beside the battleship. Her slender right index finger traced invisible pattern on the cup by her hand. She herself, seemed to think of something.
The atmosphere was heavy. Only the beeping of the machine, the rain, and occasional creaked of chairs filled the air.
Shouhou waited beside Ooyodo. In such a heavy air, she felt like her senses were heightened. She could definitely feel every jolt Ooyodo made whenever static seemed to be delivered to her headphone.
"I have two siblings."
The admiral's voice broke the silence. Everyone else slowly turned to look at her, who was sipping her tea. She rested her back on the chair. Her warm brown eyes shifted over her ships, eventually resting on Haruna's golden ones.
"I'm the oldest."
"... I see."
Haruna's gentle voice complimented the solemn mood.
Smiling, the admiral continued.
"We siblings fight a lot. My little brother can be pretty selfish, and my little sister is a cry baby. We had a time we actually quarrelled over ice cream and ramune… or who would get the grilled squid during the town festival. I'm always told to take care of them. They ask a lot, fight a lot, ignore me a lot when I talk. They can be quite a handful."
A fond smile.
"Yet, I love them."
A pause.
"... I understand how it feels to have siblings. However, I will never understand how it feels to be a fleet girl. I am sorry if I seemed to have taken lightly on your feelings. I am sorry if I seemed like I dismiss your worry over your older sister."
There was no reply from Haruna. She looked at her commander's eyes for a long while, before shifting her stare on to her tea once more.
Silence enveloped them once again.
Right when it seemed like she would never reply, however, the battleship talked.
"... We were born knowing that we're warships. We were born knowing everything needed. What we are, what we are supposed to be and everything we are supposed to do."
Shouhou and Ooyodo quickly turned to look at her in surprise. It was a strange sensation, a feeling that they were being peeled naked. This information was not usually talked about so lightly. It was a taboo, an unspoken rule. It was about them, something personal and almost sacred for them to talk about. It was a talk about the essence of their existence, a thing that reminds them of their inhumanity. Shouhou watched how Haruna slowly began to talk, raising her look from the tea on her lap to the rain battered window.
"I was born… knowing who my sisters are. I was born loving them. I was born loyal to them and to the country."
The battleship paused.
"We are born with this default personality and ship memories. Sometimes I wonder if it was alright to just sink and be reborn again, nothing will matter as I will be reborn with this default set of personality again. I will come back as "Haruna" of the Kongou Class. It was very… convenient. For the country."
Her breath shuddered. Cold? Or something else?
"However I do wonder… if I will be the way I am right now… or if I will love my sisters the way I do to them right now. I wonder… if I will be me."
There were emotions lodging in her sentences, with the end of her words dropped so low it was almost inaudible.
"The ship memories maybe reborn, but what of the memories after I was born? The one… that makes myself me?"
The pause after were bitter. It was a pause for contemplation, more for the one who talked than those who listened.
The battleship threw a smile at the admiral. It was strangely a reassuring smile.
"I know the answer, but I do not want to acknowledge it, Admiral. It will hinder my function as a weapon. I am sorry for saying such worrying thing."
Shouhou found herself clenching her hands. A very strong urge came to her, an urge to stop Haruna from saying everything. However, she could not bring herself to.
The admiral put a hand on top of Haruna's arm, giving a gentle press. She didn't say anything, merely touching her ship gently. The battleship smiled at the loving, silent gesture. She looked into her superior's warm brown eyes and continued slowly.
"Admiral, Haruna… had gone through a time… when she was left all alone. When all my sisters departed before me."
The ship memories.
"As a warship, Haruna had never been separated from Kongou-oneesama… I feel extremely uneasy when we're not together. The only time when she went away… Oneesama didn't come back. Haruna was the last to survive."
Another gentle press on the arm. Smiling, Haruna touched the admiral's hand by her arm.
"I have talked too much. Haruna is fine, Admiral. I understand your decisions are for the best."
The admiral shook her head. She gave Haruna a firm stare.
"Do tell me everything. That is my duty and, above all, my will. I want to listen."
She squeezed Haruna's arm lightly.
"I thank you for telling me."
The heavy atmosphere was somehow lifted after that conversation. The silence was replaced with talks under small voices. Haruna reverted back in her warm dutiful self, answering the admiral's light questions with polite smile, gentle reply, and occasional giggle. When transmission finally came, they almost jumped from their seat.
"This is Choukai. We have located Kongou-san's fleet and the Abyssal fleet. They have not found us. Your orders, Admiral?"
The answer was definite.
"Engage combat. Northern fleet safety is a priority."
"Understood. Commencing battle! All ships, prepare for attack!"
After that, informations about battle flooded in. Kongou held her ground against many abyssals, taking the brunt of the night battle damage by drawing fire to her with her searchlight. Choukai managed to give a blow to the Ta-Class flagship hard enough that the Abyssal fleet routed-of course they did not get away without many sunken destroyers and heavy cruisers. The most important thing was, no ship girl was sunk. Although they were really close to it. Makigumo's state was nowhere near alright.
The sun was barely peeking on the horizon when the fleets came, with the rain still falling in drizzle. The admiral stood by the pier to greet them, with Shouhou and Haruna. The umbrellas they used were a homogenous shade of grey, pretty dull considering their colorful outfit. Ooyodo had been ordered to empty the dock for the injured. They only had two slots for critical damage, however, which obviously meant it was not enough.
When the figure of the fleets appeared by the horizon, Shouhou could definitely hear Haruna's relieved sigh.
Kongou sailed strong as always, despite the numerous wound. She waved at those at the dock cheerfully. The others were clearly not as energetic, although relief seemed to flood their faces upon seeing the pier. Choukai carrier Makigumo on her back while Ashigara supported Suzuya. Ooi looked especially annoyed, more than usual for obvious reasons. She let Kiso supported her. The rest were pairs of rescue teams supported the other injured destroyers: Shiranui and Kagerou.
Choukai was the first to get out of the water, going to straight to admiral's place.
"Reporting in, Admiral. The rescue mission is a success."
"Gokurousan," replied the admiral, almost nonchalantly since she turned to look at Makigumo who, upon seeing the admiral, began to cry. The destroyer had all her armaments stripped off, showing her burnt clothes and numerous wounds. Her blood stained Choukai's blue sailor uniform. However the reason of her crying was not of her wound.
"Makigumo tried her best b-but… but the torpedoes..." The little girl sobbed, brushing off big fat tears from her eyes. "Suzuya-san and Kongou-san covered for Makigumo… Makigumo burden Kongou-san and Suzuya-san and… and Choukai-san… a-and..."
"What are you talking about? You did great, sweetling," said the admiral, gently patting Makigumo's pink hair. Instead of stop crying, Makigumo cried harder, which made Choukai smiled. "Hush, now, Dear. It's okay. You come back home. That is enough. Bring her to the dock, Choukai. Those wounds must have hurt a lot."
"Yes, Admiral."
With Makigumo's wail echoed further away, the other members of the fleet came in order. Suzuya made a "sheesh! It hurts a lot! That was close!" or the like, Ooi made unintelligible disgruntled noises, Shiranui remained silent, while Kagerou gave the "ahahaha… I guess we got done back there. Sorry for that, Commander!". Kongou, with Haruna by her side, said with an apologetic smile, "That was unexpected ne~! But everybody was amazing, Admiral!"
Seeing her sister's seemingly unchanged energy, Haruna's eyes brimmed with something strange.
Thanks to the many, many injured ship, the admiral eventually asked Shouhou and Haruna to go help mobilizing instant repair bucket. She interrogated Kongou for the mission report, however, so the light carrier and the battleship went to the dock with everyone, leaving the admiral alone with Kongou.
Shouhou reported to the logistic division for the instant bucket, signing the request form as the secretary ship, then waited while the logistic division guy confirmed the needs to the storehouse. It was still early daylight. Although some men were stationed, it was considerably shorthanded. The admiral was right to ask Haruna to come along since it seemed like they would need to bring the buckets to the dock themselves.
Haruna was staring off space when Shouhou returned to her side after talking with the logistic division. Some of the other men were busy mobilizing steel and fuel for the sudden flood of ships in the dock, they would indeed need a hand to carry some of the buckets.
"Let me handle the buckets, Shouhou-san," said Haruna with a kind smile. "The admiral must have needed your help for something else."
"You're exhausted yourself, it's okay."
Haruna shook her head. Something seemed to be lurking in her eyes, one that Shouhou did not understand.
"The admiral has been extremely kind to me and Oneesama. There must be a lot of report to file after this, she would definitely need your help. I have the logistic personnels and the fairies to help me, the admiral only has you."
For some reason, Haruna's words made Shouhou blushed and emotionally confused at the same time. However, she was right, so Shouhou went back to the pier. Perhaps the admiral was still there.
She was just arriving by the pier when she saw a pretty unusual sight.
The admiral was holding her umbrella for Kongou, who looked down to the floor, not meeting the admiral's eyes at all. The atmosphere seemed to be heavy so Shouhou approached slowly, a bit feeling dirty for the chance of eavesdropping yet she had the feeling that she needed this. For Haruna, and for everyone else.
It was silent other than sound of drizzle tapping the umbrella. Thus, in a still considerably far distance, Shouhou could hear the admiral's voice.
"... Let me say this again, Kongou. I am not Haruna."
She talked in normal volume, yet slower. As if spelling the words.
"There are still two more missions you need to go to until you're finally under my jurisdiction. I may not have the ability to help you there but I can listen to you. When you're in pain, tell me that you are. When you're exhausted, tell me that you're exhausted. When you want to cry, cry. There is no need for you act tough in front of me. I am not your sister. Nor will I tell her."
Her voice dropped.
"I have siblings just like you. I understand your intentions. That is why, don't hold it alone. You can tell me everything. The rain, it hurts your wounds, doesn't it? You have no need to pretend anything in front of me. I will protect your sister with you."
Silence came once again. The rain soaked the admiral's uniform now, but she remained in her position.
"If you want to cry, cry, Kongou."
Then it happened. At first it was only something akin to a cough, but then it turned into a stream of tears and sobs. The admiral caught the battleship when she finally lost her strength. Shouhou saw, for the first time ever since her construction, the eldest of the Kongou-class crying hard in the shoulder of someone else.
"It hurts…!" her voice cracked and trembled, and Shouhou knew this was also foreign for the battleship. She had never really shown weakness to anyone. Not even when her sisters sunk. "It hurts..!"
"... I know."
Like an opened tap, everything spilled. Her exhaustion, her pain, her longing over her lost sisters. Things she never said anyone. Especially not Haruna.
Shouhou finally understood the admiral's responses. There were things you would not say to someone because they were precious to you. There were things only older sister would understand and do, things they would not let their little sisters know. The admiral looked into that aspect of Kongou and understood her need. She needed someone to shoulder her burden together, something that she would not let Haruna know at all. It was an intimate place, a place that perhaps the admiral may not ever get, considering Kongou's previous experience with the last admiral.
Shouhou had no idea how long the admiral had approached Kongou before that day, nor would she ever ask. She knew though, and it was not easy for both Kongou and the admiral. Knowing the exact number of attempt was not important. This knowledge alone was enough.
After that day, all doubts for the new admiral in Shouhou's heart was erased. Shouhou knew it was the same for many of them as well, especially Kongou. If anything, the battleship was back to her former self… with an additional upgrade that the admiral, clearly, did not expect to happen.
A routine… that she would have to suffer every time Kongou came around.
"I LOVE YOU! CHU! CHU!"
The admiral had been complaining of back ache. Shouhou had little question on how it could happen, especially now that Kongou was practically ON the admiral, who had to support herself by grabbing the windowsill while resisting the countless shower from the battleship clinging on her back.
"O-Oneesama, it doesn't seem like a good idea…" Haruna came in, smiling apologetically. She gently touched her older sister's shoulder, to stop her from kissing the admiral. "Maybe you should-"
"Oneesama! That's not fair!"
Battleship Hiei came running inside the room. Jealousy was all over her face. And soon enough she was already tugging the hem of her sister's Miko sleeve.
"Hiei too! Hiei too!"
"Oneesama, it seems the admiral is having quite some trouble keeping her balance, it might have been a good measure to get off her back, in case you inflict some kind of spinal damage on her."
Kirishima straightened her glasses, calculating the possibilities, yet did actually nothing other than being interested in the situation. Her words though, seemed to wake Kongou up. She finally looked at her admiral.
A pair of protesting brown eyes answered her golden ones.
"Oh! You're right, Desu!" Kongou jumped off the admiral, her eyes burning with her usual spirit. With that, the admiral fell to the windowsill in a "humph"-trembling while holding her aching back.
Shouhou held her laughter in, supporting the admiral to stand up again. The admiral totally would complain of back ache again after this.
Admiral Tendouji Airi finally regained her balance with the help of her faithful secretary ship then turned around to face a set of fast battleships in front of her. Kongou had a wide, shining smile on her face. And then she said, with full blown spirit:
"Kongou sisters have arrived! What are your orders, Hey, Admiral? We're ready for anything!"
Despite everything that just happened that may have angered her, the admiral showed a kind smile.
The smile of the battleship was one she earned after all.
The light was back.
- end of chapter 3-
Author's note: that was long and a bit angsty, I hope you don't mind? ahahaha I have a lot of fun writing it though. Hopefully it gives you a gist of the admiral's past with the fleet.