Author's Note: Finally over. 37 pages in my GDoc for this chapter. This will be the last for Haguro's Arc.
A Japanese folk song, titled Yuuyake Koyake, 夕焼け小焼け will be featured in this chapter. I think it will be nice if you can go to Youtube and hear it. While you are at it, please have a listen to Akatonbo 赤とんぼ as well, both of these songs' nuance helped the progression of the story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kantai Collection or any of the songs I used in this fanfic. For songs in Japanese, however, I do translate them myself unless I stated otherwise.
While I didn't realized it,
Just how many times have you been crying?
If, perchance, the world turned into an enemy and despised me,
I don't mind
I will continue on
...
Tomorrow too,
I want to love you
I want to love you
Goosehouse - Beautiful Life
"Kudou-kun will need your fleet by the Ri Lanka sea, Tendouji-kun. Make sure they arrive on time."
"In accordance to your previous instruction, my best surface fleet is already on their way. They will arrive by Kudou-Senpai's place by tomorrow. I will send my transmission to his base tonight."
"Perfect. This will unofficially be your first large operation. Do it well."
"Yes, Grand Marshal."
"Very well."
He seemed satisfied with the answer. After a while he continued.
"Has Kongou been a problem?"
She had more or less expected the question that she felt like sighing. With all the talk and all the time she had spent with Kongou, it was clear that the main office had never really tried understanding these ships.
"No, Sir. She has been serving the base splendidly."
He made a rather doubtful grunt. She did not blame him. He had every logical reason to doubt Kongou.
"What of your Myoukou-class? Have you scrapped Haguro? She was rather useless last time we inspected her. Her sister also seemed very broken."
Ah.
"Ashigara-Neesan styled my hair that day, with the hairpin Myoukou-Neesan sent to us… It was my fault, that I go to fit my rigging with that hairstyle."
"... No, Sir. They have been serving the base well upon my arrival. I see no need to scrap them as per this moment."
"I see."
"He said, I seduced him. That the desire of making my hair like that, is to seduce him. He said that I was useless on the sea… but maybe my other use will be better… like the ones we are designed to do on the bed."
There was a considerable long pause.
"When he began touching me, he said that everything we were, was designed to please him. Our body included. We were designed to follow order. My body was designed to provide various options of utility. Pleasing him was an utility, and that was his order."
"... I just want to remind you, Tendouji-kun, that we must eliminate any possible threat to the nation. That is our job as the protector of the nation."
"When I refused, he said that I was broken. He said that I am useless as a ship girl, that I cannot follow a simple order. I told him that what he was asking was not right, but he told me it was right because he was the admiral and I were to follow his direction. A ship follows the admiral. That was the rule. I said it was not right, this was not a battle. He got angry, saying that… That I am not doing what I was made for. After that he started to hit me."
She gripped the phone tighter.
"Yes, Grand Marshal."
"That includes your own ship."
"He punched and slapped me… and eventually used his belt. He said, the fact that I have this body… is a proof that I am created also to please him. He said t-that I… that I want him too. Because that is what I am naturally made for."
"We have to take responsibility of our kind, Tendouji-kun," He did not stop there. "That is, including our previous comrade's deeds. Even if we have to dirty our hand."
"I told him that was not true. He said, that even if my mouth says no, my body was honest… That I reacted to him. I don't understand, everything was painful, and blurry… My chest hurt, my body hurt, and I… I feel... awful. B-but there was this fire. Which I c-can't control. I don't want... but… but is that true that my body… is created for that? If I reject, is that against… what I am created for? But if that is so, I… I am broken. Yet if I am, I... Admiral, I… my heart, I wholly believe… I don't want to used this way."
"Understood."
"I am sickening... My body is disgusting, Admiral. I am disgusting."
"... Though I must say you have been doing really well in managing the base and its available resources. I hope Makigumo is serving you well on your expeditions?"
"Yes, sir. She has been a great help."
Makigumo was given to her from other small naval base that was about to scrap her, to cut expenses of constructing another ship.
"Splendid. I look forward to your accomplishment."
"Thank you, Grand Marshal, I shall not let you down."
A laugh came. His next words did not sound as bright as his laughter, however.
"You better not, Tendouji-kun. That base is difficult, but it's strategic and precious. Please do not waste this… incredibly fortunate occasion in your part."
The line was cut off.
She stayed listening to the monotonous beeping sound for several second, before finally placed the telephone on its pedestal. A really strong urge to sigh made her closed her eyes.
"Admiral, a filthy ship like me do not deserve your kindness."
If the adultery had not happened, I would never have gotten this position… right?
I am "lucky" indeed.
"Um… Admiral?"
Shouhou's voice sounded worried. Taking a deep breath, Tendouji Airi turned around, giving a wide smile to her secretary ship. The light carrier's eyes remained unconvinced, but she did not voice anything else.
Airi smiled wider, getting up and patted her secretary's shoulder as she walked to the door.
"Calls from the superior always makes you feel energized, don't they? Let's go to the command room, Shouhou. We got work to do."
~ Dusk ~
"...gara!"
It's dark. It's… night time?
"... Ashigara!"
… Ah… the… stars look… strange..
"Ashigara! Oi! Ashigara!"
Nachi-neesan would know about this… or Myoukou-neesan…
"ASHIGARA!"
Pain assaulted Ashigara's senses when her consciousness just snapped back, making her jolted in reaction. Her movement made the water splashed and she almost plunged her whole head inside the water. Thankfully, her own buoyancy kept her on the water. She was laying on her back on the water surface, covered in her own blood from numerous injury. Her clothes was burnt and torn, showing places where shells and shattered torpedo head had scratched and pierced her. The rest of her fleet was circling her, with Nagato kneeling on the water surface beside her.
Ah.. darn it.
She fucked up. That was the only thing she did not need anyone to explain to her about. This was absolutely pathetic. The rest of the fleet seemed okay, she was the only one hurt. It seemed they had an absolute victory though, the only consolation that came into her mind.
Against the barrage of pain, she tried to sit. A pair of hand gently helped support her back from behind. Ashigara glanced wearily behind her.
It was Choukai, looking really worried.
"Ashigara-san, are you alright?"
Am not. In more ways than one.
Thankfully, she did not need to voice it since Kongou put her hands on her hips and said, "You gotta be kidding for asking, Choukai! Of course it doesn't feel good. She got hit by three shells and two torpedoes, you know!"
"I thought you'd sink," Nagato sighed, facepalming. "I almost gave the Admiral a wrong message."
"Wait! We break the radio silence?" Now that made her felt even worse. Ashigara grimaced, since the move of catching Nagato's arm hurt a lot. "Wait, Nagato-san, the enemy ship will…"
"We already broke it the moment we saw you got hit that bad, anyway," Maya also kneeled. She shrugged. "Breaking it now ain't gonna make a difference. We killed the lots of 'em tho. Maaaaaaybe there aint any ship to eavesdrop us for a while now."
This has gone from worse to worst. Ashigara covered her face. This was totally pathetic. Listening to Nagato made the transmission would make her feel a lot worse, especially with the fact that she was the only one with critical damage. She just made them break a radio silence, risking their whereabouts. This was really not nice.
Nagato eventually finished her report to the Admiral. She moved her eyes over her fleet, stopping on Kagerou.
"Kagerou, escort Ashigara back to the base. The rest of us will proceed."
"Understood." The destroyer gave a salute, while Ashigara looked away, gritting her teeth. Nagato finally stood up, throwing one last look at Ashigara, who begrudgingly glanced at her.
"You better safely get home, Ashigara."
Only a grunt answered the battleship. After beckoning Choukai to move, Nagato and the rest of the fleet turned towards their destination. Within minutes, they were gone, nothing more than faint light in the distance. Kagerou stood frozen beside Ashigara, saying nothing as the minutes pass by. Even in the darkness, it was easy to see that Ashigara was in an extremely awful mood. Being a sensible destroyer as she was, Kagerou took the right decision of being silent.
"... I am broken huh."
"Eh?"
But Ashigara did not wait for Kagerou to ask her again and instead extended her hand and said with a grunt, "Help me up. The enemy will be here anytime soon… I don't want to sink just yet."
XXXX
"An update, Admiral."
Airi looked up from the tactical map, finding Shouhou beside her, giving her a sheet of paper. With a thank you, she wearily received it.
"Haruna-san's repair will be done tomorrow morning. However, Akagi-san will take even longer."
That is not good.
With almost all of her surface fleet gone, all that were left are damaged ships, destroyers, and the only heavy cruiser was Haguro. The only big ship would be Haruna and Akagi, with Shouhou as the only light cruiser. If anything were to happen, they only have one fleet power to defend themselves. Even if Abyssals rarely attack ground base, especially around her waters, the chances are not 0. If she could avoid it, she did not want to risk it.
"Also, Kagerou has sent a transmission. With the speed they are travelling in, they will approximately arrive at noon, the day after tomorrow."
And Ashigara was injured. Kagerou would be extremely fatigued as well with the long run of towing the injured heavy cruiser. Airi massaged her temple. Being a newcomer in this field is always harsh. If any mission was halted, she would sure still be reproached by the Grand Marshall for being unable to manage the base. However, sending all of her best ships to other base to fulfill a command risk her own base, she almost could not balance the firepower. She was glad she had a lot of heavy cruisers to make up for firepower. There was also the advantage of speed.
"You have to rest, Admiral."
The secretary ship looked really worried.
"I am okay, Shouhou. I can go home by-"
"Admiral, this is 0135."
What? Airi swiveled in her chair, looking at the many big clock on the wall, showing different time zone. Sure enough, it was 0135 for their base.
Shouhou watched as she facepalmed wearily. It would be too late to bike home. She would have to spend the night here. Hand off her face, Airi gave a weak smile.
"I can rest at the clinic. It's okay."
"But…"
"You rest too," Airi cut her off, only now noticing that Shouhou had been the sentinel all day, receiving, transmitting, reporting. With Ooyodo gone, and the destroyers still freshly constructed, she had to be in place. The secretary ship gave a doubtful expression. "It's okay, I will finish everything soon and rest."
"Shall I prepare an appropriate room, Admiral? I will ask the destroyers-"
"It's okay, Shouhou. I am fine."
Sadness perhaps was not a good way to call Shouhou's expression. Instead she looked-
"Just as much as you would love to help your sister, your sister wants to help you too. For a family, helping is never a burden, but pleasure."
Ah.
Airi couldn't hold her chuckle…. and it soon turned into a small laugh. Shouhou was totally perplexed, unsure on how to react. Especially when Airi smiled at her kindly.
Easier said than done. I do the same mistake as you are, Haguro.
"I will sleep in the clinic for tonight since it's way too late already, but maybe I will need that room for future use. Can I ask for your help on that, Shouhou?"
The lights that came into the light carrier's eyes were so bright, they were almost palpable.
"Sure, Admiral!"
"Splendid!" Airi beamed, tapping her hand on the desk. "Now let's tidy this up together. Can I have you call Inazuma to be the sentinel for tonight? Awesome. I will count on you on that!"
It was funny in a way, how saying no could actually be hurtful, and how asking for help could actually make someone happy. Distance, when measured not in metrics or imperials, can be very confusing. Measuring it needed sensitivity more than precision, and the velocity of it changes relatively differs with every individuals.
It would take some more time for Airi to get used to this base… though it seemed like everything had started to move. Hopefully to the better.
XXX
"... Ashigara-san."
Kagerou's voice woke Ashigara up from her waking dream. She first looked at her escort's face, who had been supporting her body faithfully since the night when she got taiha. She looked extremely tired, but she smiled nevertheless. Right now, her smile was brighter than the day before. Inside those smile, a huge relief.
"We have arrived, Ashigara-san. We're almost there."
They were several hours ahead of schedule.
They stopped only to rebandage her wound or eat their ration. Other than that, they had been sailing nonstop; Ashigara half-relying on Kagerou not only because of her injury, but also because of her damaged equipment. Kagerou did not complain, even if signs of fatigue slowly formed on her face. She merely continued her sail, one kilometer at a time. Obviously, the endeavour worn her out like none other. It was logical for destroyers who escort their critically damaged partner to feel extremely exhausted upon arrival, and also why despite their often petite body and low day battle firepower, they hold a respected place in the eyes of every other ship, including carriers and battleships. No other ship escort better than destroyers, no other ship willfully sacrifice themselves than destroyers, and no other ship support the naval base as a whole as good as destroyers.
Ashigara felt a feeling of gratitude towards this brunette that had been towing her for two days without complaint. Even more so since she knew Kagerou had been extremely understanding with her grudge about her misery.
Now the giant tower of the naval base was within sight. They were already within the base's vicinity. They were safe. Bath. Finally.
"Eh?"
Kagerou turned her head towards the beach, near the pier. She squinted her eyes.
"Isn't that… Commander and Haguro-san by the beach?"
What?
There was no way Haguro would be outside. Haguro is afraid of the outside. There would be no way that she would-
She really was there. There was no mistaking her sister's figure, even from afar. The one standing beside her, recognizable with the signature pure white uniform, was definitely the Admiral. Haguro was not supposed to be able to go out. She was so afraid of the outside world and…
Ashigara realized one thing.
The day when she saw Haguro crying, her clothes was damp. It was raining outside. Outside.
Haguro would do anything if there was an order, even if that means having to crawl in fear and pain.
Familiar gut churning burn lit up in her heart, suffocating her in a sensation all too familiar.
All these times.
"Did anything-"
"I am fine, Neesan."
ALL THESE TIME.
Her body started to shake, with anger rushing to her vein. Everything now came into place. The tears Haguro shed every morning, her reluctance to talk, all became extremely clear. Haguro is kind and dutiful. She would never say anything simply because… it was the request of her superior.
THIS ADMIRAL.
And as they got closer she saw it. Haguro was crouching by the beach, covering her face. Yet the Admiral just stood there watching. Watching. The white uniform made flashes of the past came into Ashigara's mind and she could not control the fire that blasted every single thought other than one, extremely strong emotion.
Always. Always. Always. Always. You. You and your kind. HUMAN. ARE ALWAYS.
"Bring me there, Kagerou."
ALWAYS. THE CAUSE.
"A-Ashigara-san?"
The destroyer seemed to be quite perplexed by the grittiness in her voice. However, Ashigara did not careless. All that filled her mind was the two figures by the beach sand… and it was enough for her to not feel a single pain for all her wound.
She felt empowered.
Anger was a fuel like no other.
XXXX
"Wait! Ashigara-san!"
The moment they reached the pier, Kagerou realized that it was a bad idea. The way Ashigara threw her broken main machine and trotted to where the two figures… did not look well.
No. No. No. Bad. Bad. Bad. BAD.
Kagerou did not have enough energy left to stop her. She could not comprehend how, with such a battered body covered by bloodied bandages and ripped clothes, Ashigara could muster enough power to actually shrug the destroyer's attempt to hold her. Kagerou knew she was exhausted but Ashigara as well, perhaps even more. Although she was the one that support most of the propelling power, she knew Ashigara tried not to burden her much by burdening most of her own weight to her only healthy main machine. That made Kagerou felt extremely pathetic that her grip did not halt the cruiser a single bit. Now she had to push herself to run after Ashigara, grimacing when her body ached.
With all the wounds, merely standing must have been painful for the heavy cruiser, and yet…
The power that held the cruiser together was almost unnatural.
The cruiser's steps as she got close turned faster, though visibly limping. And suddenly Kagerou realized what she was about to do.
"Ashigara-san! DON'T!"
Too late. It happened way too fast.
Saying something inaudible, Ashigara grabbed the Admiral's collar in one harsh, swift movement right when the Admiral turned, noticing her presence thanks to Kagerou's shout. Haguro reacted, gasping upon finding her sister had both of her hands now by the Admiral's collar, tugging her superior harshly with shaking, furious movement.
"It's YOU! YOU make my sister cry every time!"
"Oneesan!"
Haguro grabbed Ashigara's right hand from behind right when it rose in a fist, almost swinging towards the Admiral's face. The Admiral, however, remained silent, not even reacting when Ashigara shook her collar.
"Oneesan, please!"
"You and your kind! You human admirals! ALWAYS! ALWAYS YOU MAKE MY-"
"No, please, Oneesan! You got this all wr-"
"You human are the same! The LOTS of you! Just the FUCK did you-"
"Oneesan!" Using the small gap for flex when Ashigara withdrew for another attempt to punch, Haguro put herself between Ashigara and the admiral, pushing her body weight to her sister and brought her down to the ground. The sudden force and right timing released the Admiral's collar off Ashigara's grip, making the Admiral stepped back and almost lost her balance. Ashigara wrestled, but Haguro was faster, grabbing her sister's wrists and pushing them to the ground.
"Please! Please, Oneesan!"
Their struggle ripped open the bandages; blood colored the sand again as the little sister gripped her sister's hand stronger.
"ONEESAN!"
Putting all her weight to immobilize her sister, Haguro broke into tears. She pinned her sister's hands to the side, flat on the sand. Her hands shook, but her strength remained firm in holding her sister.
The tears fell onto Ashigara's face and right away Kagerou could see how she immediately faltered. It seemed she had just realized who had restrained her down. The look in her eyes however, was more than surprise. Something had shattered.
Her expression made Kagerou stopped running.
"Please…just.. just stop…"
Haguro began shaking, and her next words were nothing more than broken whispers between her tears.
"I…I will tell you everything, Oneesan. I am sorry… I am sorry..."
The heavy cruiser opened her eyes and looked straight into her sister's dark golden breath hitched. "
I will tell you everything… I will tell you everything so please… please… I am begging you… please…"
Her grip loosened, and she rested her head on her sister's chest, letting her tears soaked into the navy blue clothes.
"... Commander-san… is not the one you should be directing all your anger to…"
XXX
Airi sipped her green tea. The calming fragrance soothed her tense nerves and muscles. It released her stress. A taste of familiarity and home. Feeling the drinks warmed her stomach, she sighed.
She thought Ashigara would not arrive until noon. She took Haguro out again today, partly also because of Haguro's request. The ship made amazing progress once she had her mind set on healing her fear. To help her, Haguro no longer called her Admiral, but Commander-san, just like many destroyers. Just a simple change of nickname could change so much perspective and she began to moved away from the image she feared. It seemed to have helped her eased up, and they began their daily attempt to go out more frequently. The progress was outstanding. At least when she was not alone, she managed to control herself and to follow her admiral's walking pace. They made it one step of a time, but each progress turned into a leap as it doubled its positivity. Upon seeing the sea again, and touching the waves, the cruiser just broke down crying. Home, she said. The sea was her home. Those tears were of happiness. Anyone could mistake it otherwise from afar tho.
She could still feel Ashigara's unmistakably strong killing intent that she felt at the beach. Or perhaps rather than killing, it was a clear intention to hurt. To inflict pain.
The theory that some Abyssals are ship girls, and that some ship girls can turn Abyssals upon sinking or breaking conditioning, had long since being acknowledged, although the chances were deemed to be small. The fact that no case are actually clearly recorded, added doubts to the theory. So small was the chances and the examples, people started to consider that a myth.
"You human are the same! The LOTS of you!"
Airi knew one particular type of creature with intense hatred to human. The usually bright golden eyes were murky that time. Her voice as well, in certain parts there was this foreign undulation.
"... I just want to remind you, Tendouji-kun, that we must eliminate any possible threat to the nation. That is our job as the protector of the nation. That includes your own ship."
I wonder if that was a close call... Airi watched the reflection of the cloud outside the window from her green tea. That would have been really… unpleasant.
Thinking how close perhaps her ships were on the edge of transformation, made Airi felt this sense of anger.
The last admiral before her, just how much had he abused these girls? Did any of the girls have turned Abyssal under his command but went unnoticed?
The idea was extremely depressing and disturbing.
Airi was just about to take another sip when the door to her room was knocked. Shouhou quickly rose, seemingly worried of Airi's condition. She knew what happened and it seemed an idea of having a guest at the time when her Admiral had just being assaulted displeased the carrier. Airi came into the room with visible blood track by the collar. She didn't tell Shouhou directly but shortly after, Kagerou came in to give her escorting report. The destroyer naturally asked about her Admiral's condition, which prompted Shouhou to ask the chronology of the event. Shouhou clearly did not take the news happily.
In a way, Shouhou's protectiveness over her touched Airi's heart.
"I shall send the guest ba-"
"No, Shouhou, it's fine," Airi smiled at her, putting down her cup of tea. "I accept guests."
Airi increased her volume.
"Come in, please."
Shouhou seemed uncertain but she did not voice anything else. The door swung opened, and there came Ashigara. She was still in her previous wounded condition, with her bandages dangling and everything else. Moving seemed to hurt her, but she did not voice it nor grimace. She merely did the obligatory bow by the doorstep, saying, "Please excuse me." then stepped in silently. Shouhou looked hesitant, moving her eyes to Airi and to Ashigara back again. The air changed at that very moment and Airi took a deep breath.
One might think Airi would be at least wary but she knew she should not be. The aura of this Ashigara turned much… calmer... She was still upset, but it was of remorse it seemed, more than fury. There was no bubbling anger like what she had when she walked by the beach just now. More importantly, there was no previous ominous intent. Airi eased a smile at the heavy cruiser, joining her fingers together.
"I see you haven't gone to the dock yet. Doesn't that hurt? Is the dock occupied?"
"No, Admiral, the dock has been properly emptied and prepared for my repair," Ashigara answered it swift and firm. The golden eyes shone, a contrast to the rather greyish murky hue they once held at the beach. She took a deep breath. "I think this is more important right now, than my dock."
And by that, the prideful heavy cruiser, despite obvious pain, went to her knees, then bowed with her head on the floor to prostration.
Shouhou's jaws dropped open, frozen in place. Airi took a deep breath, lowering her expression with merely raising her eyebrows. However, she could not help but having to bite the inside of her lower lips-enough pain to hold her ground. She must be in pain. The heavy cruiser must be in great pain.
"I apologize for my insolence, violence, and disrespect. I have shamed my class's name and attacked someone whom I am supposed to serve with all my loyalty. I am deeply sorry for what I have done and I am thankful for your generosity of taking care of my sister."
Silence greeted them and Ashigara still had her head on the ground. Airi closed her eyes, scaling the weight of her words. But before she could say anything, Ashigara continued with her head still on the ground.
"I have heard everything from Haguro. You have given so much time and attention to help my sister. I have mistaken your generous gesture and I have done something unforgivable. I beg for your forgiveness and I thank you for all your help to my family. I will accept any kind of decision you have regarding my conduct."
It was hard to make out her expression, but Airi could feel frustration lodged in her words. Ashigara had that pride in her and that fighter spirit. To bow her head without a single bit of provocation, made Airi smiled sadly. It saddened her, how everything had come to a place where one of them had to bend their pride with a situation none of them desired. Yet, perhaps it was for the best.
The admiral let out her breath.
"I do not blame you for what happened, but I accept your apology, Ashigara. What I did is still within what I should do, or anyone in my position should have done, for your sister. Lift your head."
Ashigara remained in her position. Airi closed her eyes.
"Ashigara."
The heavy cruiser finally lift her head, grimacing when she tried to stand up. Shouhou quickly supported her, helping her to get up. The heavy cruiser looked considerably paler than normal, to no surprise with all her wounds and exertion. The golden eyes, however, looked straight into Airi's without hesitation, and Airi could not help but to smile. At least those eyes still showed that burning strength. This determination was admirable, and Airi knew as an admiral, it would be extremely beneficial to have such ship in her hand.
"I would accept any kind of punishment that you deem fit, Admiral." The heavy cruiser bowed her head slightly. "What I have done to you at the beach was disgraceful of me."
"Perhaps the reason why I will punish you, is for you to think that I will give you a punishment," Airi chuckled. The look in the heavy cruiser's eyes hardened. "I have told you, that I do not blame you."
Ashigara grit her teeth.
"But I cannot-"
"Also for not obeying my command of going to the dock," Airi tapped her pen to the table. "I thought I have said ASAP."
The heavy cruiser's lips formed a tight line of disapproval. Her next words sound dejected.
"I cannot accept that, Admiral."
She clenched her fists.
"I almost hit you and I shouted profanity at your face. Most of all, I was being disloyal to you. I cannot accept the fact that I go through all of that unpunished. I cannot accept that, not as a soldier."
Silence hung between them. That was true. If she had followed the code of conduct, she should have pushed on a harder penalty. She should have brought her on a more formal court, suing her with a long list of disloyalty. However considering everything, despite the fact that it was unwise of Ashigara to jump to the wrong conclusion, Airi could not get over her own judgement over situation. It was true she was being way too lenient. It's funny how the one she should have punished actually be the one who remind her that.
"Please, shape us however you want us to be."
Sighing, Airi rested her back on her chair and joined her fingers together.
"To a certain degree, I do agree with what you say." Ashigara kept her mouth in a tight line, and that made Airi smile. "In my own judgement, however, this spans further than merely me being stationed in this place. Thus, I believe I will need more time to assess your conduct. I will put you on probation. For now, your unofficial punishment is to stay with your sister and help her in her recovery. I don't accept a no for that. Do you copy?"
The heavy cruiser had her head down and her fists shaking. Putting force in her words, the admiral repeated.
"Do you copy, Ashigara?"
Ashigara lifted her head. The answer was swift, holding a familiar firmness.
"Yes, Admiral."
"Splendid," Airi smiled, tapping her hand once and resting her back on the chair satisfactorily. She looked into her heavy cruiser's eyes. "Is there anything else you would like to tell me?"
There was silence. Negativity seemed to have dissipated quite a lot from the room and she could see that everything had pretty much cleared up. Perhaps now she could breathe a little easier…
"When I heard… how Haguro had told you everything and asked for your help… I feel… frustrated."
Something cold hit Airi's heart. Those golden eyes. They weren't murky anymore, instead it was back to the stark bright golden eyes. However, those colors were painted by defeat. Defeat and frustration.
That was right. It wasn't just Haguro affected by the adultery.
"She told you things she would not tell me, open up to you more than she would ever do to me. Even if I asked her, she would not say anything to me. I have failed her as a sister."
That is not true.
But Airi could not say that. She had no right to say that. She knew, nothing she said would move anythig. This was not the area she could prod into, nor could she say things as Haguro's mouth. This was not something she could repair.
And she understood Ashigara's feelings so much that it hurt. As a small smile curved up Ashigara's lips, Airi could feel her body turned cold.
To think that everything could heal so simply was naive of her.
"There is only one request that she has ever asked of me and I made the mistake of hurting her even more by slapping her for it. Now that I think of it, it was the only request she had ever asked. The only one she had ever said since her construction. I thought I knew what is best for her. I was way too self-centered. My sister would have known best on what will ever make her feel happy."
Slowly, she looked into her admiral again and unconsciously Airi held her breath.
No. Please no.
Ashigara bowed her head down. She spoke clearly, slowly, but without hesitation.
"Admiral, if Haguro ever asks to be scrapped again, I give my full consent on her decision."
Her bow turned deeper.
"I know this is extremely egotistical of me and that I have no place, in any kind of situation, to request you anything more with all the kindness you have given to both me and my sister. However, please, with all my heart I beg of you, to scrap me along with her. Please scrap me with my sister."
So that has come down to that.
Silence spanned for several second, extended on to what seemed like minutes. Airi closed her eyes, trying to suppress her own emotion, more than tactfully thinking of the situation. As far as military tactics goes… there was nothing wrong with the request. It was even for the best.
However, she knew very well that human hate to let go. Always so. She was only human herself. Her own desire welled up strongly inside her and for a bit she knew, she had the power to realize it. It was wholly possible to simply say a word of negation. Yet, in the end, she had to keep her promise. Although she had the feelings that she could influence them, in the end their decision was theirs alone. It was something she could not step into; especially not when she wanted to shape them like what she wanted to.
"Very well."
The shocked eyes that stared at Airi now belonged to Shouhou's. Airi rested her hands on her table, joining her fingers.
"I understand. I will honor your request."
"... Thank you very much, Admiral."
Airi nodded when Ashigara finally lifted her head. There was calm in those eyes, although she knew it did not mean the pain had mend itself. It hurt how Airi knew, she had not the medicine for this pain. Unlike Haguro's, Ashigara's pain was not something she could do something about. Not directly, at least.
Pushing heavy breath out of her lungs, Airi gave a small smile and said, "Is there anything you would like to talk about?"
Finally a smile, albeit courteous and didn't exactly reach the heavy cruiser's eyes.
"No, Admiral, that is all."
"Ah, very well then. Do inform me if you would like to inquire anything."
She bowed slightly again.
"Thank you very much for your understanding and time. Just like your order, I will mobilize to the dock. If you would excuse me."
Ashigara went out without anything else, other than a slight courteous nod to Shouhou. When the door closed, all that was left in the room were silence and gloom. Airi let out her breath, resting her chin on her right palm. Shouhou stared at the door for quite a long time, then looked at her admiral. Her Admiral raised her eyebrows and smiled at her.
"What's wrong, Shouhou?"
The light carrier seemed hesitant. Her fingers played with the hem of her kimono.
"... Is that… for the best, Admiral? I mean, Ashigara-san-"
"Who knows?"
Airi's answer made Shouhou looked at her in shock. The Admiral smiled,slowly glancing at the window.
"That is not for us to answer, Shouhou. That is what they have to answer."
The light carrier bit her lower lips. Her eyes moved to own to her own hands, still meddling with her own kimono. For a while contemplative silence bridged the gap between them, until Shouhou broke it before Airi did.
"You can… reject Ashigara-san's request. Ashigara-san is a strong ship and you have shown interest in her. Then why…"
"I can get a vessel, Shouhou. I can pour my steel and fuel and make myself a vessel. I can get them all if I want to. I can replace everything."
After a burst of statements, Airi stopped, now staring straight at her secretary's eyes. She smiled, joining her fingers into a steeple.
"Yet, I can't replace an individual."
Shouhou blinked.
"I can't replace a conscience. I can't replace experience. I can't replace memories. I can't replace a soul."
I don't want only ships.
"… Shouhou, human are extremely greedy creature, I am included. I don't want to lose a thing. I dont want to lose a soul. Gamble, if I have to, but I cannot let myself to lose souls that I fight for."
"Please, shape us however you want us to be."
"I don't want ship, I want a Kanmusu."
XXX
The sky turned from black to blue. Birds chirped, jumping between tree branches as they talked between each other. The sun slowly peeked from beyond the mountain, casting shadow of the peaks onto the base. Haguro closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
She was out out the dorm, by the doorstep, holding a watering can.
Her hand still shook slightly and the familiar prickly sensation ran through her skin. Her breathing started to turn faster. The familiar uneasiness, discomfort, and anxiety resurfaced again like an old friend.
The dormitory door felt like it beckoned her to come back inside to safety, the pavement looked like they glared at her in animosity.
"You are born with thoughts, memories, and feelings. Your essence. It is there to tell you who you are. Your feelings is not wrong. If you feel that it's not right, then it's not right, at all. Believe in your heart."
Admiral Tendouji spent so long holding her hands and spelling her everything, then spent another long period of patiently staying by her side as she tried to overcome her fear to walk out of the door. The next day she patiently guided her again.
"Just because you have this body does not mean that you are here to be used by men. I am born a woman as well. We have the same body. However, having this body does not automatically mean my existence is to satisfy anyone's sexual needs. I have my own decision, my own life, my values. Haguro, you have yours as well. That is why you are created having these feelings and judgment. You can take my word as an Admiral now, there is not a single verse in the list of your utility that say Kanmusu are there to satisfy sexual needs. That is not your job. He lied. He is wrong. He is at fault. You're innocent."
Haguro could no longer count how many times Admiral Tendouji said the same words, over and over. It sticks to her head now… and she started to say it to the mirror.
"You're not disgusting. Your feelings are not wrong. You're innocent."
Whenever she broke down shivering, the admiral would stay there beside her and hug her. Haguro now had grown familiar of that warmth… and also of the gentle pat on her arm or back her admiral gave rhythmically as she hummed or sang the same song. She remembered looking up, staring right into a pair of warm brown eyes. There would always be a smile there.
"Just because you progress slower than what you hope you do, that doesn't mean you're not progressing."
When she looked at the front yard, gripping her own arm to contain her shaking, she remembered the words that kept repeating and slowly eroding her guilt to herself, her sisters, and her admiral.
"You get this far now. You have done it. That means you can do it again, and even further."
She remembered when she saw the sea again, when she touched the waves, the sand, taking scoop of them inside her palm.
"You made it here. You're alright. You can go further, Haguro. You are alright."
Closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, for the first time in so long, alone she stepped out of the dormitory into the yard. The fear gripped her heart and body again but now she was not without shield. One step out, followed slowly by another. And another. They may be slow, but they are steady.
The flowers needed tending. This spring, she would love it if she could have flowers bloom in their yard again after a long time.
XXX
"Commander-san came every morning, she patiently sat with me, listening to me, she… she has been extremely kind, Onee-san, please do not be mad at her. All that she had been doing is trying to help me overcome my fright. L-Look, Oneesan, I-I can finally get out of the dormitory again. It's because of Commander-san."
The golden eyes watched as steam rose to the top of the roof of the bath. Each molecules seemed to dissipate, disappearing into thin air.
"I… I asked her for help. She accompanied me to get here. O-Onee-san, please… don't… be mad of Commander-san. She is very kind. She helped me. Commander-san has never done us any wrong..."
Those were the only things Haguro said before Ashigara bolted to the admiral's room. Everything went on well in the end. Haguro was feeling much better. It seemed time has moved for her again.
Everything was alright.
However, Ashigara could not erase an empty, gaping hole that replaced the whole anger that burn inside her heart. It was like a charcoal left after a burn: dark dan black, with a bit of amber deep within that harmed the charcoal more than its surrounding.
The Admiral was clearly not the one at fault for this feelings she had. Nor was Haguro. The feelings was her own responsibility.
The heavy cruiser closed her eyes as she washed her face with the chemical water of the bath. Brushing her face, she realized the one fact which made her feel so empty.
Haguro did not need her. She was not needed by the only reason for her living. Those anger she felt, it was all to herself instead of anyone else.
Perhaps now inside her request, it was not Haguro that needed scraping the most, but her.
The world worth nothing for her now.
XXX
Peace did not last long. It did not even last a day. Siren wreaked the serenity of the base as the sun climbed to noon. Airi rushed to the command room, walking in fast paced as Shouhou beside her, relaying the information she got from her Saiun.
"One Ta class flagship, accompanied by one Wo Class flagship, two Nu Class elite, one Tsu-class and a Ne-class, Admiral. They are approaching fast from north."
That is a rather heavy fleet. Airi bit her bottom lips, briskly opening the door to the command room and went straight to the mission board. And one specialized to counter back air attack while delivering good air raid. Is this a base attack?
Her brown eyes trailed the track of the enemy on the map, following Shouhou's fingers silently. They are heading to the base, indeed, and fast. It seemed to be a base raid.
Airi closed her eyes, tapping her fingers. Too rare to happen, yet it happened. At the right timing as well. What luck she had now.
The campaign we did… was it intercepted? Was that actually just a decoy? Do they intentionally want to attack the land base? Or perhaps they realized that this base is unoccupied? How far do they know the condition of this base….
But was not the problem right now. Defense. Her ships. Most of them were away.
"Available ships are Akagi-san, Haruna-san, Makigumo-chan, Shigure-chan, Inazuma-chan, and Ikazuchi-chan. Kagerou is still recuperating. Ashigara-san is still in the dock and needed more time to heal. The fourth fleet is fetching supply."
"How many instant buckets do we have currently?"
Ashigara. She still had Ashigara.
"None, Admiral. It will take some more time, perhaps until night fall, for the fourth fleet to arrive with the supply."
Shit. Airi closed her eyes again. The toll of trying to keep Kongou in full health whenever she sent her out on the compulsory sortie organized by the central command now took its stand. She had been using the buckets for Kongou, giving her a moment of reprieve and also to keep her from sinking. She knew that was unwise of her to do so, but she just could not let the central command sink Kongou in such manner. She would not deny however, that actually doing that put her in a risky standing. Times such as this, was totally one of her biggest fear.
Stalling time against such a force with her remaining fleet will be near impossible. Perhaps not. Perhaps not. She should believe in her girls. Sortieing Shouhou with Akagi seemed like an idea… but then she would not have any recon if anything were to happen. Without strong enough escort, they were extremely vulnerable. The two Akatsuki class were newly constructed, compensating firepower by deploying any one of them seemed very risky and may not be a viable option.
"The fleet has gathered, Admiral. We await your direction."
Haruna's voice made Airi straightened her previously crouching position that leaned onto the command board. Making up the calmest expression she could muster, she turned to look at her ships. An admiral should be the last to panic. Anyway it wasn't as if she had no plan-
She couldn't mask her surprise however, when she saw Haguro standing there right beside Haruna. The cruiser stood straight, with determined face, even if Airi noticed the trembling of her fists. When their eyes met, wordless understanding flowed between them. Airi reverted her eyes on the rest of her ships.
"Haruna, you will be the flagship. Akagi, bring one torpedo and focus the rest of your squadron for fighters. Shouhou, keep us informed with your saiun and bring your best fighters. Makigumo, Shigure, bring your best anti air gun and escort them as best you can, shoot down as many bombers as you are able to. Haguro, I will count on you to sink them. Hit them hard. The rest, please be on standby."
"Understood."
If surprise were present, the girls did not show it. They gave a firm salute and turned around to go to their station right at that instance. Shouhou put her documents on the table, nodded at the admiral, then followed the others, leaving Airi alone in the command room.
After the door slammed closed, the only sound was the beeping of the command machine.
Unconsciously, Airi curled her hands into fists. She closed her eyes. Somehow she had the feeling that she should say something more to Haguro... but it would not be wise in front of the others. She could only wish everything went well.
XXX
Her breathing picked up. The familiar hallway felt as if it would crushed her in between at any second, even as they are they suffocated her, making her hard to breathe. She would soon… take her equipment. Equipment.
That room.
Her vision turned blurry and she felt a strange sense of vertigo. Her stomach churned. She wanted to throw up.
Vivid memory of a belt whipping her body echoed in her head. One whip.
And two.
The flaring pain by her back… then a kick..
"Haguro-san."
A gentle hand took her arm, and for a while she felt like like tripping, but another pair of hands stopped her body from falling. The darkness that almost consumed her suddenly disappear when she opened her teary eyes. She almost passed out... But Haruna took her hands at the right moment, noticing what happened to her even as they ran to their station.
The one who hold her body from falling was Akagi, gently steadying her shoulder while looking at her warmly.
"A-Ah, I-I'm so-"
"The sea awaits us, Haguro-san."
There was nothing Akagi said other than that, but that was more than enough. The carrier turned and ran, followed by Haguro and the others. The presence of her comrades felt so solid, with Haruna and Shouhou beside her, Akagi's back in front of her, and the two destroyer watching her calmly from behind. She knew when she looked back she would find Shigure's gentle blue eyes and Makigumo's innocent stares.
She was not alone. The sea called them all together.
She was going home with everyone.
XXXX
The sliding door made a dull sound as someone slid it open. Ashigara turned her head, wondering who had come in. She heard the alarm resounding just a while ago. However, she noticed how the instant bucket did not come out from the slot above her, so that means it was not any kind of report about the admiral wanting her to get out fast. She still had long hours of wasting time in the bath to heal her wounds. Perhaps it was Shouhou or may even be Haguro.
None of her guess was right.
Kagerou stepped on the wooden floor of the communal bath, bowing slightly before continuing to approach the heavy cruiser alone by the healing bath.
"Kagerou?"
"Haguro-san is deploying with Haruna-san, Akagi-san, Shouhou-san, Makigumo, and Shigure to intercept enemy task force coming from the north."
Eh?
Cold sensation trailed upon her skin despite the temperature of her bath water. Haguro?
She still remembered Haguro's trembling figure she often found by the doorstep of their dormitory. To think that her sister could now once again sortie... Ashigara did not know how to feel. Relieved, happiness, worry, and frustration all molded into one as her mind processed what Kagerou had just said. Half of her body were filled with power that wanted to just burst out of the bath and be right beside her sister, right there on the waters, while half of her are struggling to keep her inside, telling her over and over to trust her. Trust her, or to discard herself off her sister's affairs completely.
She knew nothing. That much was evident. Perhapas discarding herself from her sister's life would be the better choice lets she made yet another wrong decision.
"... Did the Admiral ask you to specifically inform me?"
The Admiral seemed to always have her own agenda, though Ashigara now felt like even if she hated it, the Admiral knew full well what she was doing. Kagerou's answer took her aback.
"No, Ashigara-san. I just thought that you ought to know."
XXXX
"Haruna, reporting. Enemy fleet has come into vision."
Airi opened her eyes, finding herself sitting in front of the beeping command room apparatus with her fingers joined together, pressing to her mouth. It has begun.
"Flank them. Shoot down as many planes as you can."
"Affirmative."
Airi watched as her own fleet formed anti air formation on the radar. The clock on the wall ticked. Still several more hours until the expedition fleet come back. Several more long hours.
XXX
"Main battery, FIRE!"
Haruna's 35.6 cm guns blasted with a force that sent shockwaves to her surrounding. Planes flew overhead, sounds of machines ringing to their ear drums. Akagi and Shouhou had been releasing their whole squadron of planes, ambushing their enemies is a shower of bombs. Unfortunately the Wo-class returned fire with a swarm of its abyssal tomcats, filling the horizon with dark colors of planes.
Haguro maneuvered past shells and torpedoes, her main battery locked ìn a Tsu Class that prepared its anti air guns.
Even without getting shot down, Akagi showed signs that the best they could get was Air parity. A battle waited for no one.
Haguro released her shots, a force of 20.3 double barreled guns shot through the left side of the Tsu class. Some of her bullets bounced over the armor, scratching it while others shot through. Unlucky. She turned 80 degrees to starboard, barely missing torpedos from the Ne-class, while at the same time continued her fire with her secondary battery.
A shell grazed her cheek, plunging into the sea behind her.
A second later the sound of passing planes, planes she did not recognize. Amping her rudder, Haguro turned to port, barely missing a falling bomb from passing dive bomber. Waterspouts rose all around her, the force of bomb detonating rippled the waters below her feet.
"Attack the Wo class!" Haruna brushed past Haguro, the hem of her miko singes by enemy HE shells. "I will take care of the Ta Class and draw it away! Shigure-san and Makigumo-san, protect the carriers!"
After that Haruna sped up, trailing wakes around her as she zigzagged away under showers of shells—exchanging fires with flagship Ta class. Their enemies were extremely strong. One miss from any of them, and that would be paid by hefty price.
Planes fell left and right, both theirs and the enemies. Haguro pushed on while being grazed Tsu Class shell, aiming for a critical hit at the Wo Class. She shot.
Nu-class jumped into the trajectory of the shell, with explosions following right after. The blue eyes of the Wo Class flagship lit up then the mouth of its plane-releasing head opened. Haguro did half a circle, releasing as many shots as she could while her main battery reloaded.
She was too late.
A swarm of torpedo bombers and dive bombers filled up the sky, as if trying to crush their remaining hope. Following the cue, one remaining Nu-class also opened its mouth and released its own swarm of fighters. Myriads of black Abyssal planes spread out over the horizon.
"This shall not get to the base."
Akagi's voice was unusually determined and calm. Haguro looked back, finding her fleet. Akagi was looking at the sky, it was hard to make out her expression. Behind her, Makigumo was grimacing with burnt clothes and bleeding open wound. Moderate damage, although it was clear she was bridging heavily towards critical condition.
Akagi reached to her back and took her last arrow, pointing at the cloud of Abyssal bomber. Shouhou, lightly damaged, did the same. The planes that came back to them were damaged, showing up as rather deformed arrow in their quiver.
They were still arrows however. There were still planes left.
"Be strong."
XXX
The sun has begun to set. Beautiful gradation of gold, red, and blue colored the sky. The vast sea however, littered by blood and fire. Planes wreckage sunk slowly, burning before disappearing into the deep. Haguro tried to open her one healthy eye, since her other one was caked with blood. A gash extended from her brow to her cheek, the reason why her other one was unusable. A shell from Tsu-class grazed her when she was pushing an already critically damaged Haruna off the trajectory of the salvo. She managed to grab her flagship right after, towing her away from showers of shell.
Beside her, Haruna slipped between reality and unconsciousness. Even breathing seemed like a labour for her. It was unknown how many shells and bombs actually hit her during her attack on the flagship. She managed to maneuver away from so many of them but eventually her relentless attack was stopped after a critical hit from the Ta-class knocked her off and thus gave room for the planes to finally shower bombs on her. Haguro remembered vividly Haruna's battered body speeding away from walls of waterspouts.
They sped away quickly, regrouping and assessing their formation.
On the other side of the sea, a moderately damaged Ta-class observed their movement. Waiting, calculating. Both of the fleet measured each other's power.
It was obvious who was losing.
Akagi was heavily damaged, almost drowning when swarms of torpedo bombers and dive bombers aimed at her, trying to disable her persistent Reppuu. Shigure managed to shield her at the right time, pushing the carrier out of the worse of the brunt that could have sunk her and shooting down more incoming planes. She maneuvered under rain of bombs while towing Akagi away, then torped a heavily damaged Ne class to sink. She took a torpedo on the carrier's stead however and now breathing heavily in exertion with Akagi on her shoulder. She had used the main battery to stop a shell, rendering it useless.
Shouhou was in moderate damage, however she broke her arm when a shell shot at her right just a split second after she released the last batch of her Reppuu. Makigumo was just like almost the rest of them, bending her body with her hands on her knees, heaving deep, painful breathing in her moderately damaged state.
The enemy still had the Wo class and Tsu Class in light damage, and flagship Ta-class and one Nu class in moderate damage. All their effort only managed to sunk one Nu class and a Ne class. All their effort only gained them air parity and this much damage.
"Haruna-san…"
The battleship was silent, only looking at the horizon. The look in her weary eyes made Haguro bit her lips. It was a look of apology. In this kind of time, it only had one meaning. She watched as the battleship eventually reached out to her antenna, closing her eyes in defeat.
"... Admiral. We can stall them here until help comes. Your permission, Admiral?"
A fight till the last. There was several second of heavy pause. A while later, the Admiral answered.
"... Retreat."
"B-but Admiral!"
"There will be no good if I lost you here. Retreat."
Akagi, Haruna, and Shouhou… they were the capital ships. Among the best ships the base had. The base would be in a deep trouble if they were lost. However retreating also an extremely dangerous situation. The base would be in danger. All that were left are several destroyer… and also the shore cannon. They had no one else to protect the base.
The base.
The answer was simple.
"Let me stall them here, Haruna-san. The rest can go back."
XXX
She somehow had a premonition that this would happen. She knew, and it was totally in Haguro's character, to say something like that. It would be a lie to say that she did not think of that option as well, and that made her feel extremely guilty. Guilty… and dirty.
Tactically, this was the best option.
With that statement, the radio suddenly loud with other ships' protest.
"Haguro-san, what do you—"
"Haruna-san, Shouhou-san, and Akagi-san are important capital ships. The expedition fleet will go back soon, there is a chance that bucket will be available. It will be better for the base."
"You're just as important, Haguro-san!"
"Makigumo stay too! Makigumo will be useful!"
"You need to tow Haruna-san. There is no one else—"
"That is too dangerous, Haguro-san! That—"
"There is no other way. I promise I will stall them here."
"That is not the point! Haguro-san—"
"You may sink! I shall not let that ha—"
"The enemy will attack soon. We should move."
Akagi's voice sound calm, but emotionless. It seemed her statement managed to stop the whole chaos, however. Shouhou's voice sounded disturbed.
"Akagi-sa—"
"Admiral? Please, your order."
Akagi's assertive and realistic side took the wheel in cold manner. Being among the oldest ship, it was clear she, too, see the situation. Of all the things that Airi had never wanted to do...
"I don't want to lose a thing. I don't want to lose a soul. Gamble, if I have to, but I cannot let myself to lose souls that I fight for."
Gamble. If she had to.
Myoukou class heavy cruiser were known as good ships. Really good ships. As she took her breath, Airi understood exactly that meaning spanned more than merely their ship specification.
"Everyone, please retreat as fast as you can. They will surely move the moment they see you leave. At that time, Haguro, we are counting on you to stall them until our forces healed."
"Commander-san, even if it's against 5 enemies, I will support you."
Please live.
Even if I have no rights to tell you how to live.
XXX
With the twilight, the sun goes down
The bell of the temple in the mountain rang
In towns in countryside, there would always be speakers every few meters. They would give announcement, warnings, and also chime in certain time of the day. In their base, their loudspeaker would be the morning march chime every morning, however when it was 5 PM it would have the same chime as the one by the town. The very same song. Haguro had never asked anyone what song that was, even if they refer it every now and then.
Let's hold hand and go home together with the crows
They knew the song as the "dusk song". It felt like saying, it would soon be dinner, let's go home.
After the children came home,
The big round moon shines
Haguro never knew what it meant until the first time the Admiral sang to her. The woman hugged her and tapped her gently, then rocked, slowly. At times she sang, at times she hummed. She would stay until the cruiser stopped crying and trembling. Every single time.
At the times when the small birds dreams, on the sky are golden shining stars.
Haguro remember looking up, straight into a pair of warm brown eyes. The Admiral would brush her tears and smile.
Why do you sing that song?
Hmm? I don't know myself. I just like it, I guess.
Shells brushed past her again, burning her sides. Her clothes ripped and her bleeding skin exposed to the night air. It felt painful… yet familiar.
It calms me down. Thank you very much.
Really? I am glad. It does to me too. Feels like going back to my childhood.
Her tired eye caught some movement in the darkness. Tsu class.
"Of course, when you can, aim at the head!" Ashigara pat her shoulder. "Nothing will work without a head!"
"That sounds cruel, Neesan."
"Well, it's a fast death. That ain't as cruel."
Her main battery reloaded with a click and she shot, bullets drilled into the skull of the Tsu-class. The force knocked it back several meters, disappearing into the darkness of the night.
Blue eyes of the Wo class turned into a dim ghost of mirage in the distance.
Did it send an attack?
The sound of the waves felt eerie on her ears.
"You know, when they come with a whoooosh! You just gotta WHOOOP! them!"
"Seriously, Maya, I don't get what the freak did you say."
"Suzuya, that stiiiiiiings! You lack passion!"
Something came. Overhead, a half mechanical hum approached.
She amped her rudder rotation and made a half circle evasion movement.
The water rippled under her feet and showers her with splashes. Maya was right about planes. She was always right about them.
A boom from afar… and suddenly something hit her square in the stomach. Pain shocked her body and she stumbled to the water, splashing, but she could hear something rushing. Blinded in pain, Haguro kicked the water and rolled to the side.
Something detonated under the water.
It hurts.
With the twilight, the sun goes down
The bell of the temple in the mountain rang
Let's hold hand and go home together with the crows
"Haguro."
Blood gushed between her fingers as she pressed the wound in her stomach. AP shell. Only AP shell could penetrate this deep into her body.
Her mouth taste like iron now.
After the children came home,
The big round moon shines
She spit blood to the sea below her and moved again. Something hit her sides now, blasting off her left secondary battery. Another missed a few inches from her head. She opened her eye, the only one that could see. All she could make out were blurred lights of yellow and blue. The hue of Ta-class and Wo-class.
She could not see anything else.
At the times when the small birds dreams, on the sky are golden shining stars.
The stars.
She could not see them anymore.
"Can you hear me, Haguro? Please hang in there a little more."
It hurts...
Commander-san.
A boom from afar, then she could feel something burning grazed her shoulder. HE shell.
She did not know why… but the pain was not from her wound. Something else, something else hurt her so much, so much that her throat constricted. Her breathing turned painful… and tears leaked.
Commander-san's voice worsened that dull ache.
"Hang in there, my Dear."
Commander-san, it hurts…
Commander-san's voice. Commander-san's request.
"Do you want to talk about it, Sweetheart?"
She had… a lot of things she wanted to say. A lot of things she wanted to remember. The warmth, the patting, the hug, the hum and singing… the days of going back from sortie and laughing at the cafetaria. Her sister's pat on her head. The cup noodle Maya gave. Suzuya's chocolate. Takao-san' rather unfunny jokes. Choukai's kindness.
Something hit her shoulder. Then her right thigh.
All physical pain turned dull.
Is this it?
"Admiral, what is there for me to live?"
"Haguro, dear, listen."
She couldn't see anything.
"I do not have the rights to tell you what to live for."
"Haguro, Ashigara's coming."
Her breath stopped. For a while it seemed as if she could open her eyes again.
Nee-san?
"If you want to be scrapped, if you really need it out of your own will, then inform Ashigara.
"Ashigara is on her way. Ashigara is here."
A sound of a plane. A… dive bomber?
If she got hit right now...
"The Haguro that I know won't back down on anything! The Haguro that I know won't choose the easy way out of something! The Haguro that I know is not a coward! THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU!"
"Please, Dear, hang in there a little bit more."
"Tell her everything. Why you're sad, why you're scared, what your sister could do for you."
My story.
She could not see but she could hear.
I haven't told her everything…
The planes came.
"Ashigara-neesan.."
I am sorry.
You have no idea how happy your sister will feel just by listening to your story.
Now she understand why her chest was in pain.
She did not want to die.
She did not want to sink.
She wanted to go home.
She could hear the bombs were released.
"... Oneesan, please save me."
She wanted to see her again.
I'm sorry.
XXX
"YOU LEAVE HER?!" Ashigara almost jumped out of the bath if it were not for both Kagerou and Inazuma holding her. "YOU FUCKING LEAVE MY SISTER TO DIE?!"
Haruna did not say any reply. Not that she had any excuse either. The whole fleet were directly transported to the dock, all evidently exhausted and critically damaged. The absence of Haguro just made Ashigara snapped right at that very instance.
"YOU OF ALL PEOPLE!"
"Ashigara-san, please!" Kagerou was now all wet from all the splashing. The next words. Should not be spoken.
"I THOUGHT YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO LOSE A SISTER!"
"Ashigara-san!"
That was too far, way too far. Haruna did not say anything to reply that nor did she move her eyes away Ashigara's gaze. Her reaction angered the heavy cruiser even more.
"LET ME GO!" The heavy cruiser struggled against the restrain of the two destroyers, trying to lift herself off the bath. "LET ME—"
The sound of bucket slot opening made everyone turned their head. Green buckets came right on Ashigara, Haruna, Akagi, and Shouhou.
Loudspeaker switched on at that instance.
"Ashigara. Haruna. Kagerou. Join Kiso, Sendai, and Ayanami."
The fourth expedition fleet has returned.
"We're going to save Haguro."
XXX
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE SINK MY SISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!"
Blast of light illuminated the night. All her guns burst fire as shells showered unsuspecting Ta-Class and Wo-class. And she sped, cutting through waves right to the spot where she saw the last explosion.
Her sister was sinking.
"HAGURO!"
She reached into the water, catching her sister's hand, and with all power she could muster, tugged her up above the water again and into her arms. She didn't move. Her sister didn't move.
"Haguro," Ashigara whispered her sister's name, calling her. Her hand traced her gash, her blood, the wound on her stomach…. Fear clutched her heart. She felt so lifeless, so powerless. "Haguro. Haguro. Please, Haguro…"
The heavy cruiser caressed her sister's face, feeling how cold the skin was under her fingertips. In a wordless anguish she hugged her again, rocking as she whispered her name. Haguro. Haguro. Haguro. However the reply she wanted didn't come. Her sister didn't react.
And there she cried, hugging her sister deeper, wishing she had come just a few second sooner to let herself be the one hit by the bombs. The sound of battle echoed in afar as the rest of the fleet spread themselves over and fought the enemy, however it was none of Ashigara's concern.
It didn't matter.
Nothing mattered anymore.
"You called me…"
She had waited for it, for a request. She had been waiting all these times. All these times.
"Haguro, Haguro, you finally called me… I am here."
But she failed, yet again. She failed. Always.
She indeed, never had been the one who could ever save her little sister.
"My sister, please, please, I am begging you. Please don't leave me. Please, Haguro. Haguro."
Her voice turned to whispers, chokes, between her tears. The urge to scream, to wail and just to shot herself with her gun felt so strong she almost could not contain it. Her sister. Her only little sister. Her only reason to live.
Please don't take her away.
"... Oneesan…"
Ashigara opened her eyes. Warmth spread all over her body upon hearing the small, almost inaudible voice.
A weak hand touched her arm, and when she looked down to the face of her sister, she saw gentle eyes staring back at her, just as teary as hers had been.
And just as thankful.
"Oneesan… I wanted to see you…"
She lived.
The tears now were not of pain anymore.
"I want to talk to you.."
She lived.
"Thank you..."
Happiness had never felt so pure.
Haguro.
Ashigara gently hugged her sister again. Not a single word coming out of her mouth, and not a single one was actually needed. The flood of emotion in her heart overflow in her hug. Her sister had not the power to hug her back but that was alright. She could hear her breathe. She could feel her warmth. She was alive. She lived.
No, I thank you.
She had not missed the only one request her little sister asked her.
You saved me.
Haguro lived.
You saved me.
"Admiral, Haruna reporting in. We have saved Haguro-san and eliminated the enemy forces. All objective achieved with no casualties. Requesting to go back to homeport."
You saved me.
Perhaps now she could learn to forgive herself.
Thank you.
XXX
"We are now beginning to renovate the heavy cruiser dormitory. Work is progressing smoothly as of now and is estimated to finish around early summer."
The Grand Marshal, a big burly man with white moustache, nodded at her explanation. Third month's progress's inspection came rather sudden but from the look of it, the Grand Marshal seemed pleased with her works. The destroyer and light cruiser dormitory fixed, the docks enlarged, the factory running, the garden fixed. The only thing that made herself sweating would be her current available budget. Even her buckets preserve had started to grow with Kongou's penalty period ended.
With spring sun shining on them vigorously, Airi stood beside the Grand Marshall by the entrance of the heavy cruiser dormitory, looking on the activities around as renovation going on. Shouhou stood behind her, holding several documents. A few meters behind them, the Grand Marshal's adjutant looked on. None of them were Kanmusu.
Seeing how interested Grand Marshal was on the renovation, Airi glanced at the flower patch Choukai and Haguro tended. Too bad it was trampled. She could have boasted about it.
"I have read your budget proposal for this summer," the Grand Marshal had one hand smoothing his moustache. "That is quite some demand you asked, Tendouji-kun."
"Ah, yes, Grand Marshal. I have talked with the mechanics, some of the equipment need to be replaced and maintenance goods be restocked. I can arrange a meeting with the head of the engineer if you would love for one, Sir."
"Yes, yes, please. Ah."
The Grand Marshal suddenly took notice of something. He turned towards the pier.
"Is that your Myoukou class I see, Tendouji-kun?"
Airi followed his line of sight and saw what he meant. She could not suppress a wide proud smile from forming on her face.
"Indeed, Grand Marshal."
He stayed silent.
"Have you scrapped Haguro? She was rather useless last time we inspected her."
Perhaps it was hard for him to comprehend, how in three months, he now witnessed Ashigara laughing heartedly, one arm over Haguro's shoulder. Along with them walked Suzuya and Maya, joining in the laughter. Even from afar it was easy to see the bright atmosphere the four of them show as they walked by the pier towards the factory. It seemed they were going to have a practice.
"Her sister also seemed very broken."
The Grand Marshal smoothed his moustache.
"... Did you scrap then construct them recently?"
"... I just want to remind you, Tendouji-kun, that we must eliminate any possible threat to the nation."
"No, Grand Marshall."
"They were the same ship as that Jiro used?"
"Yes, Grand Marshall."
The old man went silent again. He smoothed his moustache, watching them intently until they disappeared inside the factory.
"Would you like to talk to them, Sir?"
"Ah, no, I don't need," he finally looked back to Airi again, giving a small smile. The gears on his brain though moved. "I see that they are well."
"Indeed, they have been serving me splendidly."
His grey eyes watched Airi's for quite a while. After a while he gave the young Admiral a smile, even if Airi could visibly see it didn't reach his eyes.
"You did well, Tendouji-kun. I see that I was right to have quite an expectation out of you."
She almost scoffed.
You didn't though.
"Thank you very much, Grand Marshal. I shall not fail you."
Or this nation.
When she straightened from her short bow, her smile was just as sweet as her superior's.
Or these girls.
If there was anything that she learned from her three months of being stationed in this base, it would be that sometimes human perhaps may not be as human as they seemed to be.
~~~~ End of Myoukou Class Arc ~~~~
Author's note: This took so long. I went on writer's block, so I guess some of the part may not be satisfactory but I am just glad it is over.
About the loudspeaker and the chime: in Japan, you will have them around on almost every town. It is a part of disaster prevention program. The reason why they play the song is also part of daily check in case any of the speakers malfunctioned. The chime can be heard usually at 12 PM then at 4-6 PM. The songs differ between hours, and also between town. Yuuyake Koyake is one of the songs usually played on 4-6 PM, which also function as a reminder for children to go home after playing. This gives the song a nostalgic feeling for many people, of dusk when they came home during their childhood.
夕焼け小焼けで日が暮れて
山のお寺の鐘がなる
お手々繋いで皆帰ろう
カラスと一緒に帰りましょう
子供が帰った後からは
丸い大きなお月様
小鳥が夢を見るころは
空にはキラキラ金の星
Yuuyake koyake de hi ga kurete
Yama no otera no kane ga naru
otete tsunaide mina kaerou
karasu to isshoni kaerimashou
kodomo ga kaetta ato kara wa
marui ookina otsukisama
kotori ga yume wo miru koro wa
sora ni wa kirakira kin no hoshi