Author's Note: This is the end of my vacation... So I thought I should fool around with this fanfic a bit... This will be another ? chapter. Very pointless. Thank you very much for all your kind reviews. I apologize for not being able to answer you. I am using proxy. I am very sorry for any grammatical error that may hurt your eyes. More often than not, my chapters are unproofread, I deeply apologize.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kantai Collection or any of the songs I used in this fic, they are of their respective owner. Unless otherwise stated, the translation of the Japaese lyrics are made by me.
Hey, look at how the seemingly mundane everyday life
right now is dyed in blue like they want to change
That second it was reflected by puddle
I only want to see it for just one time
GigaReol feat Megurine Luka and Kagamine Rin - drop pop candy
"Good morning, excuse me."
Shouhou opened admiral's office door, muttering her greetings.
Only empty air answered her back. As expected, no one was in the office. Admiral Tendouji still had not arrived. Looking at the cuckoo clock hanging on the wall behind the admiral desk, Shouhou smiled. She must be having breakfast around this time. If only she could be there to see her expression. The Admiral always looked happy when she ate. She said it was a piece of heaven on earth, and that to waste or to not be grateful of any meal on the table would be extremely impolite to those who had prepared the meal, including farmers and fisherman, and the nature that provide them. The look of her clasping her hands before her chest before eating and prayed, each time, somehow invoked a sense of serenity.
"Itadakimasu."
Whenever she said that, Shouhou knew the Admiral meant every word of it. For Shouhou, the Admiral always seemed like one who appreciate the small things in life, including those people usually overlooked.
~ Chicken Soup ~
The curtain blinds were still down and since it was winter, the sun was still relatively low outside. Combination of both factors made the room considerably dark. Not bothering to switch on the light switch, Shouhou stepped into the dim-lit room. She walked to her admiral's desk, looking at its unchanged state since Admiral Tendouji left it yesterday. The "mail in" box still had some documents. She had been working overtime yesterday for the last sortie reports. She spared the afternoon to talk with her ship girls and inspected the whole base. Only after that she did her desk work, saying that time was too short to see everything. Shouhou always thought if she cared about all of her ship like this all the time, it was no surprise how time would never be enough for her. Working overtime had now become her usual working hour. Shouhou had turned quite concerned of it too, but the Admiral only laughed and said it was her job. She definitely did more than what her job required though. Among the reason why Shouhou always made sure she had prepared warm tea for her admiral was so that she did not catch a cold or dehydrate herself.
Copying the Admiral's own words, it seemed as if work never subsided. There would always be new mission whenever transmissions from the central comes. Shouhou was a new addition to the fleet by the time when things got extremely bad around the base with the previous admiral. Thus, although she was programmed to know how to combat and what to do, basic administration differ with each base so she had to learned about administrative work manually. She had no idea how it actually was as a secretary or admiral. During the time when the admiral was away for training, she knew the extent of things admirals supposed to do. She was glad Kaga was there, despite being rather silent and thus quite anxiety inducing. As work piled up by the admiral's desk during her leave, Shouhou remembered roughly counting the amount of things she could help: equipment development report, expedition scheduling and report, following Admiral's direction on base expansion, regular inspection... but then those were everything. She could not help the Admiral on a dozen other things that slowly piled up in mere week.
Providing tea was the least she could do.
After fastening the curtain and let light to finally flood the office, the secretary ship went to check on the small drink table near her desk. They almost run out of tea. The Admiral preferred unground tea leaves, or sencha, instead of powder tea, matcha, for every day drink, saving the better grade matcha for some occasion where she would relax by making it herself in the tatami resting room. The Admiral occasionally invited her ships to come join her in a tea gathering, where she would be the one to serve them. It first began when the Admiral beckoned Shouhou to come sit with her for some tea in the room in one afternoon. It was a casual invitation, just another day sitting with tea, but Shouhou remembered the different aura when she sat there in seiza posture by the tatami room, watching her admiral made some tea for them both.
Sunlight turned the room into a kind of orange hue that day, since the sun had titled to the west. She remembered how the light fell on her Admiral's eyes, turning them golden. Her Admiral might not have most beautiful irises. They were brown, more of dark brown than light, but for Shouhou the way those eyes turned lighter, or golden, under the sun and the gentleness they showed whenever she looked at her, made her thought she had the most elegant, motherly eyes Shouhou had ever seen. Shouhou remember the graceful way her Admiral handled all the tea equipment, the quiet sound of water being pour, the sudden shift of atmosphere. The rush of the day melted as if it took a pause. The tea itself was tender, humble, and also kind and friendly, served in low bowl. It may not be a tea ceremony. It was not even any kind of tea gathering. However it was at that moment when Shouhou thought her Admiral indeed, had so much aspect in her that took the principle of harmony, respect, purity, and tranquility, beyond mere formality.
"There is beauty in simplicity and quiet," the Admiral once said. "Simplicity let us appreciates things in its natural state, things in their imperfection. The world can be deafening in all its adornment."
Shouhou learned that it was her Admiral's idea of rest. A moment of silence away from worldly issues and pressure. Thus, she eventually understood why the Admiral always prefer her resting room to be bland, or to put it into word, unspecial.
That said, Suzuya often mistook "tranquility" as "drowsy". She said the room was best for afternoon nap—which unsurprisingly, the heavy cruiser often did. The Admiral seemed to find that amusing and let her did as she please. Although to put it fairly, she let anyone did as they please in the room as long as it caused no harm.
Shouhou opened the said room, looking at its tidy and empty state. She could not hold her smile. The room the Kanmusu made together for their Admiral. Soon as it went to noon, there would definitely be some Kanmusu coming to lounge around there, especially the destroyers. It was their room, in more meaning than one.
After finishing opening windows to let air circulates into both room, organizing some files and mails for today's work, Shouhou brewed then served a cup of steaming hot green tea to cool by the Admiral's desk. By schedule she would be here in several more minutes and by then the tea would have been sufficiently cooled. These routines were almost muscle memory for her. Today, too, they would work hard as always.
Finishing everything, Shouhou sat by her chair and waited with her own cup of tea. The clock ticked closer to 8 AM.
Today would be another day...
The telephone line on Admiral's desk suddenly rang. That was unusual. It was still really early and it was not official work hour yet. If the central phoned the admiral, it would always be working hour. It must be an emergency.
Being second in command, Shouhou quickly answered the phone.
"Good morning. This is Admiral Tendouji Airi's secretary, Light Carrier Shouhou. Is there anything I can help you?"
At first there was silence. A while later a voice so weak it was almost a whisper, answered.
"... ah. Shouhou?"
It sound familiar, yet not at the same time...
"Shouhou, this is me, Tendouji... I am sorry but I don't think I can go to the office today..."
XXX
People said, being an adult is a very lonely thing. Usually Airi never really thought of it that way but times like this she finally understood that yeah, it can be extremely lonely. First off, usually for most person you have your classmates, yearmates, mates in any meaning, around you doing the same phase, same journey. You go to the same class, aiming at the same thing, even when you want to go somewhere you usually turn to your friend and ask, "hey, wanna hang out somewhere together?" or around that line. Even when you are alone, at the very least you can look around and see people doing the same phase of life just like you. Then suddenly upon stepping on adulthood, you went your own way. Your choices would be your own, you pay your own bill, and you don't have that feeling of having someone in the same situation as you. Things got worse if you live on your own. And now Airi felt more than awful.
Being ill as a single adult living on your own totally felt lonely. Unless you have a spouse, no one would ask you how you are doing every 10 minutes, cook you some soup, and be there to change the cooling cloth. All that were around you were your room, your futon, your fever, and your neglected responsibilities. All of a sudden Airi felt like she had been taking her family for granted.
Yesterday she went home a bit later than usual for doing the reports. After that, when she went home she bumped into some of the staff and eventually went drinking together with them. She did not drink that much in fear of bad hangover and the fact that she ride a bike, but then she woke up with a really bad fever and pain all over her joints.
Well, catching a bad case of flu may not have anything to do with sake but overworking perhaps took its turn in the worst way. At least from her talk last night she knew that some admiral in eastern seas caught cheating with his ship by his wife.
Shivering, Airi drew her sheet closer to her body. The futon suddenly felt like it did not warm a single bit. Curse everything as well, suddenly she wondered if she had refilled the kerosene in the heater. If she hadn't, then woe to her, her life, her job, the world, and everything in it.
At least she had taken her day off by phone. For now... perhaps... a bit of sleep...
XXX
Airi did not exactly know how long she passed out. Her fever was so bad she could barely recall time and even hallucinated about her brother just a bit. Ah, that said Shouhei did say he would open a bakery... He always loved cooking. Like that one time when... oh Shouhei, Father will be extremely mad and... Fathe- ah, I am not at home. Perhaps she needed to be prescribed a stronger medicine, this much trouble for just some random flu was unheard of. Her throat felt like being rubbed with a barbed stick. It hurt so bad she had to force herself gulp down her medicine and water and after that gave herself a minute of lamenting the darn pain.
Then opened another pack of medicine.
Kami-sama, thank you for giving me health, I have been extremely ungrateful. I am an ingrate, I am sorry.
Fuck. She was supposed to dilute the powder drug she already had in her mouth. Water. Gargled. Wrong choice. It was stupid.
Another minute of lamenting the lingering, gag inducing bitterness.
Apparently having a fever made your IQ harshly dropped as well.
Crawling into her futon again, Airi just realized that she had not opened her curtain at all. She lazily reached out out of the futon to the curtain that draped over her glass sliding door leading to the veranda. Perhaps she would need sunshine. The sun was setting. Never mind then.
Making herself into a sushi roll with the blanket, Airi heaved a deep sigh. Her fever had gone up again. So much... for the medicine.
Just when she was about to spend another long hour drifting between unconsciousness and delirious wake, the bell rang.
... Strange. She believed her parents did not send her anything needing delivery. And her body ached. Ah well... Sighing, Airi forced her aching body to rise up from her comfortable futon, crossing the tatami room over to the entrance. Even with this much jacket she shivered.
Next time those staff inviting her to a drinking party, she would learn to say a kind no...
XXXX
"Is this okay, Lieutenant? I..."
"It's perfectly fine, Shouhou-san. I want to go as well, so don't worry about it."
Griping her paper bag, Shouhou bit her lips. She tidied up her winter kimono, feeling how the temperature dropped even lower as the sun set. Lieutenant Kouseki towered beside her, wearing a black navy jacket that made him looked like a giant. He was normally big and tall, but the clothing made him looked even more burly. Glancing at his navy watch, he pressed the bell of a room in an old apartment by the town.
They met each other at one of the small garden connecting the main office, the factory, and the dormitory. The lieutenant was going home that time when he saw Shouhou sitting by the bench alone. He asked her what happened and if there was anything he could help. Shouhou's problem was quite simple, the Admiral was ill.
Perhaps the Lieutenant saw her distress, or that she looked uneasy and troubled. He offered to escort her to the Admiral's home.
Ship girl was not allowed out of the base unless there was a human personnel of Lieuatenant and higher rank to accompany them. Ship girls that are officially married to Admirals were given special privileges, yet even then the Admiral would be fully responsible of everything. Most ship girl had no problem with the law, because most of them did not exactly have time or interest to go out of the base since it basically has everything.
The Lieutenant's offer caught the light carrier off guard but she could not say no against herself. She was worried. She had never heard the Admiral sound as weak as she was in the phone. For as long as Shouhou remembered, the Admiral lived alone. There would be no one to serve her tea, or to cook for her. Perhaps there would be a thing or two that she could do to help her Admiral. Or anything. Anything, somehow.
… She just wanted to meet her. And made herself sure her superior was alright.
In the end, she accepted Lieutenant Kouseki's offer.
The human world, the town, if Shouhou were to say her impression, was unexpectedly barren. Shouhou was constructed at the end of the late admiral's time so she had never been to training practices to at least see human world from inside the transportation like the other ship. She did not know what to expect, but she was still quite surprised. She thought human world would be much more exuberant and lively. She thought that there would be more human. However what greeted her outside the base was a small humble town.
The road they walked were mostly empty, except for occasional people on bikes or pedestrian. They were mostly elderly as well. The road was small, with both sides being either home or small private shops. The taller ones were usually tavern, or an inn, or just a small shop with storage. Several small shrines scattered around the town, some of them at the second story of some of the houses, looking out towards the road. Most of them had offerings, and these are almost the only evident proof that there were actually more people living around the place. Some kept dogs, which barked at them as they passed by. Perhaps other than the cawing of the crows, the dog barks were the only living voice around them.
The Lieutenant did not talk much, being a rather quiet man as he always was. He only said that they could walk to the Admiral's place, as it was quite close. The Admiral herself usually use her bicycle, and at times left it at the base if she felt like walking. The lieutenant took Shouhou to a small shop, accompanying her as she made a quick grocery stop. The elderly woman who attended the shop was friendly and kind, commenting on how Shouhou looked extremely lovely with her kimono. The lieutenant paid for the groceries, smiling and saying kindly that she should keep her wage for something to indulge her instead if she had time.
"This is part of indulging myself, Lieutenant."
"The same as I," replied the man. His smiled turned gentler. "Please allow me to pay for you in your first purchase outside the base, Shouhou-san. For my indulgence."
In a way, the Lieutenant has the same way of replying like her Admiral.
After that they crossed over a river, to another side of the town which was mostly rice field and farm field. There were vegetables even in the small spaces between houses. Sakura trees lined the river bank, looking lifeless without their exuberant leaves. A group of wild ducks swam away from them, making ripples on the river water that reflected the setting sun. The houses came back, denser this time. Just about the time for Shouhou to ask with it would be a little further away, they arrived at the house, a room in the second floor of a two story apartment building.
From the outside looked unexpectedly generic. The whole apartment building itself seemed kind of old, even if strong. The whole town were indeed filled with old simple buildings, with most of everyone there worked as fishermen or farmers. Other than the base, there were no large building in the town. There were few apartment,and thus this building towered over smaller homes around it. In her nervousness Shouhou glanced over roofs of nearby house, to the direction of the naval base that was easily distinguishable with its tall buildings, towers, turrets, sentinel posts. Gauging the distance roughly by sight alone, it was clear that indeed, they were not that far away from the base. Two crows passed by, cawing to the now orange sky.
"If she did not answer... what should we do...?" Shouhou looked up to the Lieutenant after he pressed the bell. The man seemed to think. He smiled.
"I will assume she is sleeping... we can go back in another hour I guess. I can take you around to see the town during that time."
Shouhou bit her lips. She did not want to think that somehow the Admiral passed out without anyone to help her. She did not exactly fond of the idea of walking around town with the knowledge that her Admiral was ill, no matter how interested she was of the human world. She understood, however, that she was fully under the Lieutenant's command. She was in no place to bargain anything. Looking at the view of the small town, over to the mountain, something strange hit her heart. There were more human over the mountain, over the town. The town was foreign, the whole surrounding was foreign, by law there were so many things she could not do.
Her world, and her Admiral's world, were vastly different.
The door suddenly made clanking noise as the key was turned from the inside. Shouhou quickly turned to look at the steel door, feeling this anticipation welled up inside her, putting her on edge.
Would it really be her Admiral?
The door opened with barely a creak to the inside, and even if Shouhou could not see the one who opened the door thanks to where she was standing and that the person who opened the door did not step outside, there was no mistaking that familiar voice, even if it was more coarse and weaker than usual.
"K-Kouseki-san?"
Feelings of relief, happiness, longing, everything all burst in Shouhou's heart that she felt like jumping into the voice right away. However instead, she found herself locked in her place as Lieutenant Kouseki bowed and answered the Admiral's surprised remark politely.
"Good day, Admiral. I heard that you are unwell from Shouhou-san and so both of us thought of giving you a visit."
"T-That is... w-wait, both? Shouhou?"
The light carrier's grip on her luggage strengthened.
"She is really worried about you so I took her here. If that is alright with you."
The Lieutenant gestured Shouhou to present herself. Shyly, Shouhou walked closer to the door.
Indeed, it was the admiral behind the door. Her figure broke Shouhou's heart. She was extremely pale and evidently ill. Her hair tousled and untidy, and she wore numerous jackets on top of a visible pajama. Her brown eyes widened in surprise when she saw her secretary right there in front of her door. Her lips, cracked and dry, parted to voice something but nothing came out.
"Good afternoon, Admiral. I...bring some supply...perhaps some soup or porridge will be good for your body?"
Admiral Tendouji was evidently too surprised to say anything, or even do anything, or perhaps it was because of her fever. Lieutenant Kouseki slowly put his hand on the door and broke the silence by saying, "It would be extremely bad to stand here too long for your body, Admiral. If our visit is against your liking and disturb your rest then..."
"No, no, Kouseki-san, not at all," The Admiral gave a smile, weak as it may. The lieutenant's voice seemed to break her out of her trance. She opened the door wider and took a step back to let them in. "Come in, please. I really appreciate this. I'm just so sorry that my room is really untidy... I haven't tidied the room since yester— ah.."
If it were not for Lieutenant Kouseki's swift reaction of grabbing the Admiral's waist and pulling her against his body as she fell, she would have hit the kitchen table that was right after the entrance of the door. The lieutenant kept his balance by keeping his grip on the door handle, gently shifting the admiral's point of balance to him to steady her.
"Please forgive my intrusion," The lieutenant said quietly. The Admiral steadied herself by having her hand on the wall. She seemed to reply the Lieutenant's words, however Shouhou could not hear it clearly. It's quite frustrating how she could only watched as she was stuck between the door, the wall, and Lieutenant Kouseki's body. If the Admiral was so weak that she could not even hold several minutes by the door before actually collapsing, a tidy room should definitely be the last of her concern.
The lieutenant suddenly had his hand on Shouhou's paper bag, while his other hand still half-supporting the admiral. Quietly, he gestured for Shouhou to change position with him. The light carrier quickly moved, supporting her admiral by taking one of her arm over the shoulder. The admiral made a gasp.
"S-Shouhou!" Even her struggle was weak. "I am fine, I was just feeling a bit lightheaded..."
"Please, Admiral, let me help you," The Admiral's body was burning, even with all the jackets. "Don't push yourself. I will help you get to your futon."
The admiral said nothing anymore and Shouhou could feel she slowly shift her weight to her secretary a bit. They slowly stepped on the elevated wooden floor towards the kitchen area. It was a modestly sized apartment. Right by the entrance was the kitchen table with stove and sink by the wall in the right, and bathroom by the left wall. The first room was separated by a wall and a sliding door towards an 8 tatami room, with a glass sliding door to the veranda covered by a curtain, an alcove and closet by one side, a kotatsu, and a futon. A shelf rested on opposite side of the alcove. Other than that, the room was empty.
A futon laid out near the glass sliding door, evidently still newly occupied. Shouhou supported the admiral to her futon against her protest. Her superior wanted to just sit, but the light carrier practically pushed her admiral to lie down and covered her with the sheet.
"I am okay, Shouhou. I need to serve the drinks and-"
"Your body is burning and you are shivering," It was beyond Shouhou how her superior always wanted to serve others. "Please don't mind us, Admiral, we are here to help you if there is anything you need and.."
"You are my guest, Shouhou, how come I do not.."
"You are ill, Admiral, and we are not here to be served by you. Please, just rest."
The Admiral opened her mouth to say something again but Shouhou cut her off by saying, "Please, Admiral, I am begging you, please let me serve you."
The admiral finally did not say anything else. She eventually rested herself on the futon, drawing the sheet closer to her body. She was practically shivering. If she was in a better condition, Shouhou knew her admiral would begin to argue but now she was visibly too weak for anything. Knowing that made her extremely sad. Easy enough for one to see she had overworked herself.
It would be good if the Admiral had more time to sleep and rest.
"Is this your first time out, Shouhou?"
The admiral's voice was weak. Hearing her talk instead of sleeping, Shouhou sighed.
"Yes, Admiral," quickly she continued. "But please, just rest."
"I am," the Admiral chuckled. She let one hand out of her futon and tapped Shouhou's thigh. "I am... Your voice calms me. Please, now tell me everything. How was it outside the base, dear? What has Kouseki-san showed you?"
Shouhou looked behind, to the Lieutenant who was standing by the paper sliding door that separated the tatami room and the kitchen. He gave a smile. His presence somehow normalized the situation, even if Shouhou did not understand why.
The light carrier took the Admiral's burning hand in hers, and she began to tell her story.
XXX
"Shouhou-san. I will leave the katsudon here."
"Yes, thank you very much."
Even if she replied, there was not a single sign that she would move from her current place. Knowing it would not make anything better to coerce, Heishi did not say anything else. He merely placed a bowl of katsudon on the table, and took his own. It was way past dinner now. When he arrived after going out to find dinner, Shouhou had not moved from the Admiral's side. The only time she left was when she made her chicken porridge, and that too only after the Admiral drifted to sleep. The light carrier had not eaten anything, nor did she drink the tea she had prepared herself for the three of them. It was just sitting there on the table, long since lost its warmth.
For what Heishi remembered, Kanmusu also got sick from time to time. They called it organic illness, illness that happened to their organic, rather than machine, self. Since their body composition differ, there were not that many illness from human that could contract them. In the case of overworking, Kanmusu can get rid of their fatigue moderately by taking their medicated bath. That was why unless within the selected number agent of the disease which actualy could contract Kanmusu are especially strong, Kanmusu were unlikely to get sick. Perhaps it was that understanding that caused Shouhou to become so worried about the admiral. That, or maybe the stark difference of Admiral Tendouji's usual strong, energetic self, compared to this fragile ill patient. That said, Heishi knew the woman was away from the definition of "fragile ill" person.
It was still quite surprising for him how light the Admiral's body was. Those eyes with burning bravery that always talked of constitution reform and all those things anyone dozens of kilograms heavier than her barely wanted to touch were owned by someone so light. Heishi knew if he wanted he could lift her effortlessly right there and then. His huge respect over her, and also his knowledge of her personality, was the things that forbid him. Admiral Tendouji would never have wanted to look weak, especially in front of her own Kanmusu. She perhaps would have prefer for her Kanmusu to never see her in this condition, but there were things a male simply could not do. Besides, if there were anyone who could and would take care of the Admiral better than anyone else, it would be Shouhou. If only she would take care of herself better though. That applied to her Admiral also. The two of them were really meant for each other in that sense.
Also, perhaps he really should persuade the secretary ship further. She had not budge even a bit.
"Shouhou-san, the Admiral will be angry at you if you do not take care of yourself."
This time, this seemed to take effect.
"You haven't eaten or drank anything."
Indeed it worked. Shouhou finally turned towards Heishi, although glanced at the admiral several more times, then settled herself on the opposite side of the koutatsu. Meeting Heishi's eyes, the light carrier suddenly bowed.
"I deeply apologized for seemingly ignoring your call, Lieutenant."
"It's alright," They were programmed to follow orders. In a way Heishi felt it was really sad how perhaps she came because her conditioning moved her. "Please, do eat. Lets not have you fallen ill as well. The base needs you as well, Shouhou-san. Especially now when the Admiral is absent."
The light carrier looked into his eyes upon hearing that, realization drew itself in her eyes. Perhaps she had even forgotten how she actually was the secretary ship with work to do tomorrow. She bowed down again.
"I am sorry..."
The lieutenant smiled at her reply.
"It's okay. Let's just eat for now, shall we?"
She merely nodded.
They ate in silence, each drown in own thoughts. Heishi could hear the clock on the wall ticked, slowly. It was quite late already. Soon enough, it would be better for Shouhou to spend the night in this house... but then it would mean leaving his responsibility over her. Although of course, he could also spend the night in this place. That sound quite wrong and he knew the Admiral would be bothered with the need for extra futon and those other thing. Perhaps he could just go home leaving Shouhou with the Admiral and come back the next morning. Those were several options. However, whichever he took, he would definitely get the brunt of rumor anyway tomorrow, with Shouhou not returning for the night. The rule was reporting every 24 hour, not exactly "not spending a night outside" so he did not break any rule. However, it was also the way for higher ranking officer who has affair with the Kanmusu to spend the night together somewhere. It was almost a public secret, an unspoken knowledge. Heishi did not mind rumors over him. He would sure mind if it would hurt Shouhou's image.
Thanks to the previous admiral, there were barely any Kanmusu out of the base for prolonged period of time. This would be the first for this base for a long time. It would definitely cause a stir...
"Do you often come to this house, Lieutenant?"
Having Shouhou being the first to actually strike a conversation surprised Heishi rather delightfully. The question, however, was quite tricky to be answered.
"I... cannot exactly call it "often" but I have been here several times, yes."
It was the safest answer. Perhaps for others, their friendship would seem to be out of nowhere. Although around this time others could see them having frequent conversation about anything surrounding the factory, Heishi understood that perhaps it was not enough to explain why Admiral Tendouji was friendly towards him, a mere lieutenant. They did work on something else more than about the factory. However, saying that they worked on something other than formal work would rise suspicion and that was unfavorable. Of course, telling people about their frequent conversation at the metal graveyard would give even more unnecessary suspicion. That, and also Heishi would rather that be a secret that only both of them knew. He was not sure if Admiral Tendouji also did not tell anyone about it, but looking at how things were, it seemed to be so.
In a way, Heishi took some pride in that part. He could not help her in administrative work or something that was not involving engineering, but he could help listening to her. It did not matter if the Admiral did not think of their time as special, as long as it made her felt better then that was all that Heishi wished for.
Shouhou looked unconvinced with his rather grey answer. She politely backed away.
"I am sorry if I sound intrusive... I just thought that you seem to be very familiar with the house."
"Ah, I did help around a bit when she had guests."
For example Admiral Kudou, or Admiral Fukumoto and his wife, or her researcher friend Hakurei.
With Admiral Tendouji being the mastermind of their plan, also the one with the closest house to the base, this particular place had been used as their base for quite a while. The fact that Admiral Tendouji always kept the place simple and easy to navigate around made the house the most favorable place to congregate. "Discussion" seemed to not be a perfect word for their meetings. It was more like "bonding"-with their beer and meal and chatters. They did, however, talked about the concept of what they would want the constitution to be.
Shouhou seemed to take the answer at face value and kept more to herself. Perhaps there were a dozen other questions in her mind that she did not say for the sake of courtesy. Heishi did not mind. Knowing her devotion to Admiral Tendouji, the secretary ship would not say anything that might hurt her superior's name. Whatever it was in her mind, it must be nothing harmful to the Admiral. Heishi knew their interest were the same in that case.
"... There are so many things... that I don't know about the Admiral."
Her voice sounded distant.
"This house, the neighborhood... Even now I don't know what I can do for her when she needs help. If anything were to happen, I don't know how to function, or what kind of conduct I should take. I do not know how human world works... Our worlds is way too different. Everything is so foreign. I don't know how to be of help being who I am at a time like this."
Perhaps that was what she had been thinking of as she sat there for a long time. Kanmusu were not designed to be able to blend with the community. It was not within their pre-installed memory. They had to learn about society while being bound to their status as a Kanmusu. They were not made... to choose.
"You have been helping her a lot, Shouhou-san," said Heishi slowly. "You cooked her dinner, you stayed by her. That is a part of helping, I suppose?"
"Those are the only thing that I could give."
"Those are exactly what she needed." Despite what he said, Shouhou seemed dissatisfied. "You did the best you could, Shouhou-san. The most important thing is that you did them. Many people can do something yet they don't. The fact that you did, means a lot. I am sure Admiral Tendouji would also feel the same way."
Shouhou looked down to her now half empty bowl but said nothing else. Heishi understood her feelings, that desire to be able to do more than what we currently could for the one you love. It was human to feel that, as it was also human to not be able to fulfill that because of one's own limitation. One should accept one's self, even if it cannot be perfect with all its limitation.
To love something with all its imperfection.
That sure remind him of a particular someone.
"Can I join in the conversation?"
Admiral Tendouji's voice came up rather suddenly. Shouhou quickly turned around, finding the Admiral propped herself up to one side by leaning on her arm. She was still pale, but colors had considerably returned to her face. Her voice sounded hoarse and low in volume but other than that the energy came back.
"Admiral! Admiral, please be rested!"
Admiral Tendouji chuckled when Shouhou panicked. She gestured that she was fine, then talked that she wanted to sit. Shouhou finally settled down sitting in seiza beside her admiral, who was now sitting while covered in a bundle of sheet. Her hair seemed to go all over the place and she was, of course, without a single bit of makeup on, however a slight tint of color back to her face and just a slight bit of that energy back to her eyes, were all she needed to look as energizing as she always did.
"Are you feeling better, Admiral?" Heishi asked, more of formalities. The admiral smiled back at him, nodding.
"A lot better, Kouseki-san. Thank you." She turned towards her secretary ship, placing a hand on Shouhou's lap. "Thanks to both of you. Don't tell me that you can't do anything. I do not accept apology from you for being yourself. I am extremely thankful that you are you."
Shouhou only bit her lower lip, lowering her gaze. The Admiral's words weighted more than anything Heishi could say, and even then the light carrier still had a hard time coping. They could do nothing now but let herself solve her puzzle.
Admiral Tendouji only tapped her secretary's thigh again, then looked at the clock on the wall. She cringed. Heishi knew exactly why. Her eyes flew towards Heishi in a knowing look, which he answered with a simple smile.
You're screwed.
I am.
Thankfully Shouhou did not catch that.
"I guess it is time for dinner for me too," The Admiral chuckled, throwing a look at their bowl. Shouhou seemed to be awoken from her trance. "Is there any left for me?"
"I have prepared some chicken porridge for you, Admiral," The light carrier blushed. "Shall I.. um, would you like to have some? I heard it is good for you."
"Oh, that will be splendid. Thank you, Shouhou."
The light carrier actually beamed in happiness. She nodded and rose, and quickly disappeared to the kitchen. After watching her went away fondly, the Admiral shifted her attention back at Heishi. Her rather playful demeanor shifted.
Her voice dropped lower, in its already low volume.
"I'm in a much better condition now. I can go to work tomorrow, Kouseki-san. She can go with me."
"No, that will not be necessary. I believe you will need more rest."
Having her go to work tomorrow would beat the whole purpose of bringing Shouhou here.
The Admiral seemed to understand that there was no choice. She glanced at the sliding door separating the kitchen and the tatami room. Her eyes turned distant.
"... I have... two more futons. It was my siblings'. If that is more convenient for you."
He took a sharp breath involuntarily. Privates had their mess and dormitory, but officers that had been stationed longer, most had their own house around the base. As he had been stationed for over four years in the same base, with his promotion, he bought a house of his own. His house was two train station away, on the outskirt of the town near the mountain. At this late hour, there would not be anymore transportation to that place.
He could not get back to the base either, not without Shouhou. However taking Shouhou to walk back to the base at this hour was not viable either. It would be even more wrong than bringing Shouhou back tomorrow to the base.
If he were to spend the night at the Admiral's house, he knew too well that perhaps he would not get even a blink of sleep. For various reasons.
"I... Can I borrow your bicycle instead, Admiral?"
The Admiral looked almost angry at the idea.
"Kouseki-san, this is winter and—"
"It will not be a problem. It is not that far away."
"I cannot allow that. You may catch a cold."
"My jacket is especially strong against the night wind, you don't have to worry."
"Not the night winter wind while riding on a bicycle."
"I believe yes."
"Show me the tag saying that."
"I am still well now. That is enough of a tag."
"Not on bicycle. You usually use train. I won't let you make the same mistake that I did."
"You... You catch a cold because you biked at night?"
Her face reddened.
"... No. At least, I don't think so. But don't change the topic, Kouseki-san. I still will not give you my key."
She could be pretty stubborn. He should have known that by now.
"Then I can walk home."
The way she bit her lower lips frustratingly... made Heishi clenched his fists way too tightly while holding his breath.
This was exactly the reason why he shall not spend the night in her house.
"... It's the white one." Her voice sounded defeated. "The one nearest to the stairs. You can find the key dangling by the calendar in the kitchen."
Smiling politely, Heishi lowered his head.
"Thank you for your understanding, Admiral."'
He would deal with her getting upset later.
XXX
A bell on the door, a new morning. And suddenly it was time to part.
"Thank you very much for your hospitality, Admiral."
Shouhou bowed to her Admiral at the front door, already nice and proper for work.
"What are you talking about now, you took care of me all night," Airi laughed heartedly. Lieutenant Kouseki had come to pick her up early in the morning. The sun was still newly up at the horizon, shining on them with its kind ray. It seemed it would be a rather warm day today. She still had a jacket draped over her pajama-clad figure though. She was still in recovery. "I am the one who should say thank you to you. Look at me now, much much better thanks to that soup of yours."
The blush in Shouhou's face and the way she bowed down several time to thank her of her good words, made Airi smile. Shouhou really should not be that humble. She was always ready to wake up whenever Airi was in need of something. Airi tried to not feel bad at that, knowing that would not help Shouhou... She found her secretary looking extremely happy when she asked her something.
Anyone would feel happy if they knew they are needed by someone else.
"Also..."
Lieutenant Kouseki raised his eyebrows when Airi turned to look at him. He seemed fine at least, not down with cold, which was a great relief. He returned her bike intact as well. Not that Airi actually had forgiven him for besting her in a game of wit last night.
She reached out inside to her kitchen table, taking out two bentou box wrapped neatly in Japanese patterned cloths... then nonchalantly shoved them one to Lieutenant Kouseki and one to Shouhou.
The light carrier flustered and quickly tried to shove it back to her.
"A-Admiral! Admiral, I can't! This is too much! When did you—"
"You were sleeping so soundly this morning that I did not dare to wake you up," Airi laughed, gently patting Shouhou's reddening face. "I know you have been up all night looking after me. Thank you."
"But you're still ill! You should not—"
"I had plenty of rest yesterday and I will have more today," said Airi, pushing the bentou back. "I was bored, so don't worry about it. Instead I should say sorry if those may not be of to your liking. It's just some simple omurice. I could make better ones next time, but I guess for this time this will do."
Shouhou still tried to say something, but Lieutenant Kouseki only bowed down.
"Thank very much, Admiral. I really appreciate this."
If it were any other time and Shouhou was not there, Airi knew it would not be the end of his words.
"You both can return the box later when you come back to my home later today."
Shouhou quickly looked up. Her eyes showed that she seemed to not believe her superior's words. Airi smiled, pushing the box to Shouhou's arms. She took out a letter from her pajama's pocket then handed it over to Lieutenant Kouseki.
"I am sorry that I would have to trouble you even further, Lieutenant, but I need your assistance," Airi smiled at the look the Lieutenant threw at her. Even wider when those looks showed silent understanding. "Please hand this over to the Human Resources office. Tell them I need official assistance from my secretary ship today as well after work hour is over."
She gave a wink at her light carrier.
"... Especially for the case of chicken soup. That is extremely urgent and vital for the well being of the base."
"Indeed it is," Lieutenant Kouseki nod firmly, shoving the letter into his jacket. "I will make sure that the mission is flawlessly conducted, Admiral."
"Very admirable. Thank you, Lieutenant."
The look that Shouhou showed was enough for everything.
"Ah, also, please take your time when you go back," said Airi, almost forgetting one of the most important things. "It seemed to be a nice day today. Enough of a reason to enjoy a good walk in the morning."
Although Lieutenant Kouseki actually bowed to show affirmation, Shouhou only stood there puzzled listening to her. Wasting time was never an agenda in military.
"Shouhou, knowing what you protect is as important as protecting itself. Please, enjoy the town as you walk back. See what you had missed yesterday. Remember it well. Then when I meet you again tonight, tell me about it. Tell me of this town you help protecting."
The morning chime was heard from the speakers spread around town, a song different with the one in the base. The townspeople would definitely be up and about in a short time. It would be lively again with the kind people she met everyday. The kind people she wanted Shouhou to know.
The kind people she wanted Shouhou to feel a part of... or felt belong to.
"Please tell me everything," Airi said, smiling. "I want to listen."
Perhaps fallen ill was not all that bad. Other than earning that cheating gossip, she now realized the big hole she needed to teach to her Kanmusu, and also the big mistake she felt when she was down with fever yesterday.
She was definitely not alone. Being single was not the reason to feel miserable. After all, all she had to do was ask.
"Please come back again tonight."
~ To be continued ~
Author's Note: I had writer's block when I want to enjoy writing, whaaaaaat. hahahaha. With this, my vacation is over...