Author's Note: It has been a while. Thank you for reading and your kind review. University can make you really negative at times.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kantai Collection or any of its characters. I translate the Japanese song translation I used in this fic, unless it is credited to someone else and will be written as such.
The footsteps of lost children disappeared
in its place, a song of prayer
It would definitely turned into a flame there
the guiding light of those continuing the path
Bump of Chicken - Zero
"Go..."
Blood splattered on Kagerou's vest. Fire hissed from a 35.6 cm barrel gun, dangerously so. The ammunition could explode at anytime. Cracked glasses dirtied by blood reflected Kagerou's own pale, battered face. She looked... mortified, on those glass. So unlike the usual her.
The eyes beyond those glasses shone, despite the tears flowing down the wearer's face. Blood caked lips parted, with a smile.
"Live for us."
Behind Kirishima, despite losing half of her right arm, Michishio gave a small smile and turned around.
"No... NO!"
Tenryuu grabbed Kagerou's shoulder, half-shaking her.
"Let me—"
"Please, Tenryuu."
That was the last thing the battleship said as she turned around. A while later, Kagerou could feel Tenryuu's motor's roar as the light cruiser tried to tow her away.
"MICHISHIO! KIRISHIMA-SAN!"
"Retreat, Kagerou! Hurry!"
"NO! No! Kirishima-san! Kiri-"
Kagerou...
Tenryuu's main machines were way too strong for Kagerou's broken ones to fight. The two figures drew farther away. Kirishima's damaged 35.6 cm gun moved forward, toward a yellow eyed Ta-class in the distance. Her singed clothes fluttered in sea breeze.
"MICHISHIO!"
Kagerou..!
"KIRISHIMA-SAAAN!"
"Kagerou!"
"KIRISHIMA-SAAAN!"
Blinding white light of neon lamp illuminating 3x3 meters bedroom Kagerou and Shiranui lived in assaulted Kagerou's retina the moment she opened her eyes. Instinctively she quickly closed her eyes again, seeing white spots exploding at the back of her eyelids. Somebody still shook her worriedly, rousing her to open her eyes again.
Shiranui had both of her hands on Kagerou's shoulders. The sensation of Shiranui's strong grip was unusually vivid as Kagerou was drenched in cold sweat, so much that her pajama stick to her body. Shiranui looked extremely worried. She, too, was sweating. Perhaps it was from the small workout of shaking Kagerou's body rather violently.
The latter felt very sore. Maybe Shiranui did excessively shake her to wake her up.
Shiranui still had both hands on Kagerou's shoulder, her eyes seemed as if she was searching for something inside her partner's mind. Although she was usually impassive, this time she looked disturbed.
Tonight must have been quite... bad.
"I'm okay now, Shiranui... You can let me go."
Seemingly only realized now that she gripped Kagerou too hard, Shiranui eventually released her. She also moved to the side, letting Kagerou bend her body to a sitting position. The clock on the wall behind their study desk showed 3 AM. A bit more before day break.
Kagerou let out a sigh, before turning around to see Shiranui, who sat on the bed leaning to the wall. The other destroyer answered her wordless glance.
They both knew what each other had gone through, they were together from the day of their construction. They did have several battles where they were not together but being a destroyer during the late Admiral's time was enough to understand each other.
Slowly, Kagerou settled herself beside Shiranui, close enough that they shoulder touched each other. She cast her eyes on Shiranui's empty bed, then to the ceiling. The neon light. It was too bright.
Breathing slowly down to normal, Kagerou silently waited the world to turn bright with Shiranui by her side.
~ Kurogane ~
Lieutenant Kouseki bend over a 12.7 high angle gun on a desk, checking for loose screws and joints. Kagerou patiently waited, standing near a shelf showing stacks of guns of different sizes, barrels, and components. She had been in the factory numerous times, but Lieutenant Kouseki's workshop had always been the most... stuffed. Especially lately. It seemed the Admiral gave him some job. Today, too, Kagerou came for fitting and to take her gun for a test run after a new apparatus was installed. She was called in after Shiranui, and saw Tenryuu and Kiso at the entrance before she got in. It seemed to be "performance evaluation". Lieutenant Kouseki said he installed performance measuring device in their equipment and would like to test if any liability happened with it installed. Why now? Kagerou felt like asking, but decided not to. She trusted the lieutenant enough to understand that anything he installed would always be harmless. Her eyes observed the shelves, finding familiar parts which were supposed to come from her guns and funnels. It was always interesting seeing these components, since she felt them like they were her limbs whenever she put them on. It felt like looking at your own arm dissected or something.
"How have you been, Kagerou?"
Lieutenant Kouseki's low voice made Kagerou turned her attention back at the mechanic. He was still examining some part and had his back on the destroyer, so Kagerou looked at the shelf back again.
"Good as always!" answered the destroyer cheerfully. "How're you, Lieutenant?"
"I am very fine," the Lieutenant let out a chuckle. "The boys are back after being ill last week, so I am feeling pretty good."
"Sweet. I heard the flu was bad."
"Yes. Admiral Tendouji also issued general checkup for the soldiers and inspection on the overall living condition around the barrack. It was quite an outbreak."
Kagerou tilted her head. The new Admiral did seem like she was the kind that would take utmost care on her subordinates. Kagerou's first impression on the new Admiral was that she did not have any special trait, but now as time went by Kagerou found a trait of the new Admiral. She governed like a concerned mother. A stark difference with the last lieutenant, who governed like a slave master.
"Glad you're okay, Lieutenant."
"Ahahahah, likewise. There. Come here, Kagerou, I am done."
"Sweet! Thanks, Lieutenant!"
Virtually nothing seemed to change from her usual funnel and gun. Lieutenant Kouseki continued his talk while mounting the funnel on Kagerou, hearing the clicks and hiss of gears as it turned on, recognizing its wielder. Kagerou tilted her head. Once she put them on, she immediately felt that "thing" inside them, feeling them like some kind of foreign object in her own body. It was not painful or anything like it, it was just... alien. And a bit uncomfortable.
"I added the recorder inside so you can't see it. It is small enough that it won't hinder any function but just in case any gears- can you move that? Oh good. Now all I need is to download data from you and set the configuration by normalizing the value, then we are done."
Kagerou only nodded, not exactly understanding the terms. Kanmusu were born knowing how to combat but they were not born to repair themselves—except the legendary repair ship Akashi. Lieutenant Kouseki meddled with a computer at the side of the room, inputting necessary data. Finally Kagerou could not hold her curiosity, since she could feel the "foreign object" analyzing her somewhat.
"What is this data gathering for, Lieutenant? For weapon improvement?"
The lieutenant did not answer for a while. He stopped typing.
"Hmmm... kind of like that."
"Kind of?"
"Hmmm..."
"Is this classified information?"
"Well, I cannot say it is."
"What do you mean?"
The typing continued.
"I don't know if Admiral Tendouji will appreciate me disclosing it."
"... I see."
Kagerou tilted her had but said nothing more. That Admiral did not look like someone that would do something bad enough it needed to be kept as a secret. And this is Lieutenant Kouseki speaking. It would not be something bad... wouldn't it? Finally Lieutenant Kouseki finishing inputting data and turned to face Kagerou again, smiling.
"Everything is done. You can take it off again now. This afternoon, if you have time, please have a test run."
"Kay, sure." Kagerou nodded, letting the Lieutenant helped her taking off the equipment. Usually they have automated machine helping them during launch. Several fairies jumped off the equipment or came up the table seemingly ready to begin check up. Kagerou smiled at them, especially when they gestured at the Lieutenant to see some part.
During the late Admiral's time, Lieutenant Kouseki, the fairies, and some of the staffs, were the only place Kanmusu can confide in. Lieutenant Kouseki had been especially helpful. He had helped them from behind, giving moments of reprieve by faking equipment failures so that the destroyers could have some rest. He housed overworked and tired Kanmusu in his room, letting them catch some sleep while he worked overtime and lend them his coat, even his rundown sofa. If there were anyone in the base they believed in the most it would be the Lieutenant.
"I don't know if Admiral Tendouji will appreciate me disclosing it."
Kagerou wondered what could have made this Lieutenant said that. She definitely saw how the Admiral and the Lieutenant had really good relationship with each other. They worked really well together and unlike with the previous Admiral, Lieutenant had always been supportive of Admiral Tendouji's decisions. This must also be among them. But what?
"Shiranui said that you have been having nightmares lately."
The lieutenant suddenly said, breaking Kagerou's daydream. Shiranui, you... Kagerou sighed.
"Ah, well. It's just usual nightmare. Shiranui was exaggerating."
"It isn't in her nature to exaggerate, though."
Kagerou did not have any good reply to that. The Lieutenant smiled gently. He took a napkin and cleaned his hand.
"Kagerou, if there is anything bothering you, perhaps it would be better to talk about it."
Kagerou raised her shoulders and smiled.
"I don't particularly have any problem, Lieutenant. After Admiral Tendouji came, I don't think I have any issue whatsoever."
It was the truth. Admiral Tendouji never pushed them, never ordered them to have suicidal sacrifice, never sent them on excessive expedition. There was nothing Kagerou would like to inquire.
The Lieutenant seemed to think a bit longer. He finally gave a defeated smile.
"If you say so, then. I will appreciate it though if you go talk to the Admiral when anything bothers you."
"Eh~ I can just talk to you," Kagerou laughed. She folded her hands. "I mean the Admiral is busy and all."
"Well, she rather enjoys talking to her Kanmusu and loves to know more about all of you. I think she once expressed to me how you and Shiranui rarely interact with her."
There was just no need for that usually. They were rarely flagship, only occasionally during expeditions. Also those times when they escort back someone. Those seems to the only times they would be talking to her at the office. Kagerou did not particularly have any kind of resentment or dislike on the new Admiral. She even mildly liked her. She just did not see it as particularly a necessity.
"Did she ask for an audience? I mean, should I report on anything?"
Lieutenant Kouseki laughed.
"Not really... but I think... if you would, it will be good to tell her about your nightmares."
"I have told you it is nothing to worry about, Lieutenant. It's nothing bad~ People all have nightmares anyway."
"Shiranui thinks it is important enough to be informed."
"She is exaggerating."
"Perhaps, if you so vehemently push," the Lieutenant gave out a little laugh. Kagerou felt like scowling. She knew it was futile to say that same argument, which could easily be countered by merely remember how Shiranui was. "... but I guess it still be good if you talk about it. She might have a way out of it."
Kagerou sighed.
"How could I talk to her anything that I won't even talk to you about?"
On that statement, Lieutenant Kouseki raised his eyebrows. Kagerou felt like clicking her tongue. She slipped.
"So it is indeed something that you don't want to talk about?"
Kagerou gave a laugh. She did not know why but she could feel nervousness came to her heart. Would anyone even feel comfortable to talk about sinking.
"Haha, don't trip me, Lieutenant. Really, it isn't important enough anyway. There is no need to be way too worried."
Lieutenant Kouseki now sounded like a worried father. Kagerou tapped his strong, bulky arm.
"Chill, Lieutenant. I am fine, see?"
"Well..." Lieutenant Kouseki looked at her equipment and the fairies. He looked back at the destroyer. "That device, you want to know?"
That was a pretty fast change of stance. He said he did not want to clarify what that was a while ago. Kagerou raised her shoulder.
"Sure."
"It's for welfare improvement."
Welfare?
Kagerou tilted her head. She had her fist touched her lips, thinking.
"I have never heard of that...?"
"Kanmusu welfare, your welfare," Lieutenant Kouseki's smile widened. His eyes turned softer. "Admiral Tendouji would like to ensure that even after retirement and even beyond the border of her base, all Kanmusu are treated humanely. So she had this idea of Kanmusu welfare."
"Hoooooooo~" Kagerou nodded. Now that is pretty interesting. Perhaps her rather meek appearance hide some kind of political potential? "That's interesting. Great, I think. I support it."
"Yes, so... I just want to say that, the Admiral genuinely cares about you. Don't hesitate to talk to her about anything. She will listen to you. Or rather, she wants to listen to you. It might also help her in making this welfare act come true."
The Admiral... Kagerou's most vivid memory about her was only when Ashigara almost punched her. That time, she stood unfazed even under such condition. It seemed as if, she would even gladly receive that punch if Haguro did not hold her sister back. Which was quite surprising, since she was rather small compared to Ashigara. She seemed to look quite calm as well when Kagerou met her not long after that. Haguro also told everyone how the Admiral helped her to go out of the dormitory and helped her. Kongou loved her so much as well. Kongou, who was so driven by rage she practically broke the last Admiral's nose and whose trust to the navy was so broken, it altered her personally for a while.
That said... Kagerou was sure she had no problem as big as that of the Myoukou Class. Perhaps the Admiral was indeed just a sincere person but it was not as if anything was wrong with Kagerou anyway.
It was just some nightmares. People have nightmares from time to time don't they?
"Well, I will think about it, Lieutenant." She gave a reassuring smile and nodded. The Lieutenant did not seem to find that satisfying enough. "Don't worry, I trust the Admiral."
Her last words seemed to ease the Lieutenant the most. She gave him their usual fist bump.
"I will talk to her if I find any problem. Really."
XXX
Kagerou watched the cloud moved slowly up above her. The wind blew so hard down here, but up there it seemed as if all those moisture just crawled slowly, leisurely, taking their time as they glide over their base. It's both calming and annoying. The sky always had a schedule of its own, regardless of what happened on the surface of the earth below it. Like now, it felt like the sky was taking a slow, relaxing stroll.
It's not fair, you know.
"Kagerou, can you move that barrel a little to the right?"
Asashio's voice broke Kagerou's thoughts. They were just arriving at the dock with a dozen barrels filled with various resources after their expedition. After arrival, all the barrels and Daihatsu must be loaded to a conveyor where the machine and human staff would then allocate them to the right storage. Kagerou smiled broadly and answer, "Yup!"
With a grunt, she moved a huge barrel a bit to the inside of a conveyor, which runs into the huge storage building. Asashio, Shiranui, Ayanami, Mutsuki, dan Inazuma were lining up alongside the conveyor, just finished dragging huge barrels onto it, away from the waters. Expedition was not much of a mission and it was rarely dangerous, but it's exhausting.. and boring. Asashio seemed to be the only one always on fire on every expedition. Especially after her Kai Ni. Watching her being so energized every time she was out on a mission can have two different effect depending on Kagerou's mood. It can be energizing, it can be annoying. This time it kinda fall into "Annoying".
Kagerou felt like lazying around by the veranda of the dorm. And close her eyes for some time.
When it's summer... she always had difficulty sleeping, which made her almost all time exhausted. At least the expedition was over now. Knowing the Admiral, she would definitely grant them some off days...
"Good work everyone."
A voice came from the path leading towards the pier. Everyone turned, finding the Admiral standing there with Shouhou slightly behind her. She was wearing a white shirt, whose sleeves folded up to her elbow. She raised her cap with a smile.
"Working hard, I see."
"Good afternoon, Commander!" Asashio was the first one to greet her properly, standing straight up and saluting her. Ayanami, Shiranui, Mutsuki, Inazuma, and Kagerou followed a bit after her. Asashio approached the Admiral almost right away as well, which earned her a rather bright smile. Yes, among all of the destroyer, Asashio sure was among the ones the Admiral loved the most. Perhaps it was not right,but none of the others felt it was a bad thing. Asashio was, after all, the Admiral's first construction. Plus... being loved by the Admiral seemed like a burden more than a break. The reports. Man, the reports the Admiral would ask.
Asashio began to deliver her report, with the Admiral tentatively listened to her.
Kagerou absentmindedly watched them. Asashio has grown taller with her Kai Ni and now the Admiral only bend her body. She used to kneel in front of the destroyer. A faint smile curved up the Admiral's lips as she listened. She looked happy with just the sheer concept of listening. This woman really did love Asashio.
Perhaps it really was true, what they said about her mission. Perhaps it really was true that she ordered Asashio for the report actually just to listen to her.
Looking closely at the Admiral's feature, Kagerou just realized it has been quite a while since the last time she met the Admiral personally. Of course, she did not go to meet the Admiral after his talk with Lieutenant Kouseki around a week and a half ago, and even before then she did not really have any chance to meet her.
She looked... changed. Perhaps in general nothing seemed to largely change, but as a starter her hair seemed to have grown quite a bit... and her face looked a bit more tired. Perhaps she had a lot of work... as if everyday was not "a lot of work". Her eyes looked less guarded as well. Kagerou remembered, in the past her eyes would be more impenetrable. There were thoughts in there, like her gears constantly moved to calculate whatever it was in her mind. Although those eyes were always kind since the time she came, in the past she was more careful with them and now she dropped those completely. Now they were a lot more expressive. Or perhaps because it was Asashio she was talking to... Those were not the gaze of an "admiral".
Overprotective mother figure indeed.
"Kagerou? Will you come to the main middle garden after this?"
Suddenly the Admiral shifted her attention. Kagerou, having her small mind detour redirected, nodded awkwardly and said,'Yes, sure, Admiral."
"Great, I will be waiting for you there."
Her smile, Kagerou always wondered what magic she used to keep that on all the time. She had never seen the Admiral angry. The closest to anger she had seen from the Admiral was silence. Perhaps she just was not the type to show her anger in front of her shipgirl. Admiral Tendouji's silence was eerie though, like you did not know what kind of actual burning, seething, awful anger inside. Somehow Kagerou felt the "lashing" type would be more convenient.
Well, she would meet her later anyway. Hopefully it wont be that bad.
XXXXX
The middle garden was located between the dormitory, the pier, and the main office buildings. It was the largest of all garden around the base, even though to call it "large" will be an exaggeration. At least it had a small fountain in the middle with benches surrounding it, shaded by Sakura trees. In the past, the small patches of flowers were nothing more than patches of mud and grasses. Now they were neatly organized flower and small bushes. There were also additional small little pond or pot ponds, with colourful fishes swimming around. It looked a tad bit too pretty for Kagerou, especially since the place was essentially a military base, not a woman dormitory. She did not voice that aloud though.
Sitting at one of the benches, Kagerou watched a distant plain white winged butterfly flew by. It was white, and had no other color. Flying seemed to look difficult for butterflies. How could they even manage to survive evolution, that was beyond Kagerou's understanding.
"Sorry I'm late."
Kagerou sprang to her feet the moment she heard the Admiral's voice from beside her. Half-expecting Shouhou to be there, Kagerou was quite surprised to see the Admiral alone. She was even more surprised that the Admiral was carrying an open cardbox all alone, which seems a bit big.
"Oh, let me help you, Admiral!" Kagerou quickly got up on her feet, holding out both of her hands to get the cardbox. The Admiral very, very carefully handed the cardbox to Kagerou, which made Kagerou unable to resist the temptation to look inside.
She instantly gasped.
A dark coated Shiba Inu puppy looked straight back at her with big round eyes.
"How cuuuuuuuute!"
Kagerou brightened up right away. She put the cardbox in the middle of the bench then took the puppy out, finding it wagging its tails right away as she lifted it up. It was so small, barely four weeks old, that wagging its tail shook its whole belly. The small yelps and barks were heartmelting and Kagerou could not help hugging the small creature into her arms. It was actually he.
The Admiral sat on the other side of the bench with a warm smile on her face. Her smile merely widened when Kagerou finally approached her but she said nothing.
"What's his name, Admiral? Oh my, where does he come from? Is he yours? He's so cute!"
He was SO. VERY. CUTE. The dog wagged his tail and gave a bark. The wagging was endearing and every word Kagerou said seemed to made him even more excited. Hugging the dog earned Kagerou a loving licking on the face and such a small ball of fur gave Kagerou a burst of feelings right after.
The onslaught of question and statements made Admiral Tendouji smiled brighter. She patted the puppy on Kagerou's arm gently.
"A friend of mine had her dogs gave birth recently and unfortunately she could not take another so she has been looking for people to adopt the litter."
"How lucky! Oh, so this is yours? He's so small, what's his name?"
"Well..." The Admiral smiled, raising her shoulder. "Why don't you decide? It's not mine, it's yours."
Kagerou's movement paused.
"Excuse me?"
The Admiral's face looked so matter-of-factly it was absurd.
"Yeah, it's yours. I am giving him to you. Just name him whatever you want him to be."
A pause.
A bark.
The birds chirped and in the distance, sound of gunfires echoed. The heavy cruisers were having their training...
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
Kagerou's shout could have beaten those though.
The Admiral smiled gently and nodded.
"Yes. Go on, named him. He is yours."
XXXX
"... In our room?"
Shiranui stood like a statue on one side of the bedroom. Her dark eyes followed "Kurogane", the dog, as he ran around the room wagging his tail in glee and sniffing every corner. Kagerou went back home with this dog, saying that the Admiral gave him, and that it was now their noble duty to take care of it.
Why a dog?
Why Kagerou?
And why their room?
Kurogane turned to Shiranui and sniffed her, looking up then wagged his tail.
This is a problem. Shiranui... could not exactly say no. Not under... those... rather... unfairly... CUTE eyes.
"The Admiral said that someone has to take care of him since she is too busy,"
Well, she was busy. But what a convenient answer.
"But why you?"
Kagerou tilted her head. Kurogane ran to her again, which prompt the destroyer to kneel, letting the small dog put both of his front paws on her knees and straightened up to be closer to her face.
"I don't know... she only said I seemed like someone good in taking care of things."
Shiranui did not voice her thoughts again, watching Kagerou embraced the dog gently. Again, it was such a convenient answer...
"Are you not happy with Kurogane here, Shiranui?"
Kagerou's voice suddenly changed. Shiranui shifted her eyes to her sister's face. Lead suddenly weighted her whole heart and body upon seeing Kagerou's expression.
"N-no. Of course I don't mind."
The broken, shattered expression quickly turned into a bright, illuminating beam beating that of a battleship searchlight. As if feeling his owner's mood, Kurogane gave out a yelp and an energetic wag of his tail.
"Shiranui, you're THE BEST!"
XXXX
"It is quite rare for you to ask for a walk to town, Kagerou," Lieutenant Kouseki brushed sweat beads from his forehead with his small towel. His white short sleeved army uniform was damp with sweat. He towered beside Kagerou, walking with rather sluggish steps beside the rather chirpy destroyer. Kagerou went to the Lieutenant office suddenly, saying how she "urgently" needed to go out to the town. Since the destroyer rarely ask for something and since she already had the Admiral's Permit slip memo—which the Lieutenant seemed to look quite curious about—they went out at that instant.
The sun was still high though and right after going out of the comfort of factory's air conditioner, Lieutenant Kouseki had his sweat glands gushing liquid out of his body. Kagerou felt quite a bit of remorse for that, but that couldn't be helped. Her destination closed at sundown, if what one of the privates said to her was right.
"And at this hour? Is there somewhere you specifically want to go?"
Kagerou nodded firmly. She took out a small piece of paper with a map drawn on it.
"The small bookstore near the canal, Lieutenant. I think it is close, according to the map."
Lieutenant Kouseki raised his eyebrows, glancing at the map himself. He smiled.
"Oh, I think I know where it is."
Kagerou quickly looked up at the Lieutenant, eyes gleaming with delight.
"Really, Lieutenant?! Come, lets hurry then! I also want to get out of this hell quick!"
They walked in fast paced after that, walking across old houses towards the bookstore. Kagerou walked in rather light steps, almost tiptoeing. She was quite nervous if her salary could actually buy the book she wanted, but walking outside was also quite refreshing after quite a while. The last time she walked outside was with Admiral Tendouji in late autumn last year, to help her carry some kind of box from her apartment. That time they walked leisurely and Kagerou had all time in the world to look around. The air was also a lot more comfortable and the sun was kind. Now, under the blazing hot sun, Kagerou had little interest for sightseeing, even if it was still quite interesting to peer into human world once in a while.
They arrived at the bookstore in just a few minutes. The bookstore was small and old, set up in a small two storied wooden Japanese house. Outside, a small advertisement was set up, displaying how "Dazai Osamu" and "Akutagawa Ryunosuke" (if she read the kanji right) books were on sale. Several magazine was set up on a rack in front, along with newspapers. Beyond the glass door Kagerou could see stacks of books neatly organized beside tall wooden shelves. It was air conditioned. God bless the owner.
A bell rang when Kagerou slid open the glass door, along with a brush of cold air. From the back, a deep sound of an old man greeted, "Welcome."
There were to many shelves to make out the figure of said voice's owner, however. Kagerou half wanted to actually look for him, as a matter of courtesy, but the smell of paper and the shelves took her attention. It really might be faster to see the owner and ask for the book herself, but she could not help looking at the shelves.
She might not be as fond of books like Haguro, Choukai, or Ooyodo, but there was something alluring about browsing shelves of books, even if she would not actually read them.
"You don't strike me as someone fond of reading, Kagerou. I am kind of surprised."
Lieutenant Kouseki smiled beside her. He looked like he was very much relieved to have been free of the sun. Kagerou felt really sorry now to have asked him to accompany her. She knew several other Lieutenant, like the one manning the warehouse and the command room, but she was not as acquainted to them as much as she was with Lieutenant Kouseki so she had no other choice. Kind of.
"Ah, no, no, Lieutenant, you aren't wrong about that," Kagerou quickly said. The lieutenant chuckled at her reply. "I am looking for a book. A manual."
Lieutenant tilted his head a bit. His sympathetic eyes gleamed.
"Shall I help?"
That would definitely make things go faster.
"Sure. It's... dog keeping manual."
A rather amused smile bloomed on Lieutenant Kouseki's face. Kagerou felt her face reddened.
"D-Don't tease me!"
He gave a short laugh. His eyes turned gentler.
"I'm not teasing you, I am just relieved."
He put a big hand on Kagerou's head, patting her gently.
"Let me help you. You go browse around, I will ask the owner."
"Whoa, thanks a lot, Lieutenant!"
The man only smiled.
The bookstore surprisingly housed a LOT of book despite its rather small exterior. Kagerou was soon lost into one of the corner, finding herself opening books about types of hand guns when Lieutenant Kouseki approached her again. In his hands were a stack of books, ranging from "How to Take Care of a Shiba" up to "Hachiko, A Dog Story". Kagerou quickly put down the book in her hands, almost jumping towards the books when Lieutenant Kouseki put the down on the floor for her to see.
"Lieutenant! This is... This is so many!"
"Well, you don't specifically said the title so..."
But Kagerou was not exactly listening to him after that. She was busy looking into the books with obvious interest, eyes sparkling as she moved from one book to another. Sometimes she commented on a book, raising it for Lieutenant to see while saying things like, "look Lieutenant! This one look EXACTLY like Kuro-chan!" "Lieutenant, look at this one!"
There were so many good books on dogs, Kagerou never knew. At the time she was done browsing through all the titles Lieutenant Kouseki brought for her, she just realized she sorted almost all of them into her "want to buy book", ridiculously so. Kagerou flipped one of the books to see the price at the back cover.
3000 yen.
The others must have been not so far from that, if not higher...
"You want those?"
Lieutenant's voice made Kagerou quickly turned around. He eyed the stack of books and Kagerou's face, and she realized what might be in his mind.
"O-Oh, ah, no, Lieutenant! I was just sorting which might be relevant! I-it seems most aren't so. Where shall I return the books, Lieutenant?"
"The owner said to just return it back to him. Let me—"
He offered a hand to take the stacks of book back but Kagerou gallantly took them all in a huff. She grinned.
"Ah, no, can't do, Lieutenant! It is a soldier's job to take the muscle work!"
Lieutenant only laughed. He let the destroyer carried the whole book, watching her warmly from behind.
"Oh my, Ojou-chan, surely you can just ask your father to take them back here?"
The old owner—a man with greying hair and spectacles—gasped when Kagerou hefted the whole stack to the counter herself. She laughed and pat her arm proudly. Those weight were nothing for her Kanmusu muscle.
"Can't let my superior take all the load! What kind of soldier am I, then?"
"Oh!"
The owner's eyes twinkled even brighter. He straightened his spectacles, eyes moving from Lieutenant Kouseki and back to Kagerou's bright smile. A smile bloomed on his face right after.
"Kanmusu?"
"Yes, Sir! I am!'
Upon hearing Kagerou's bright and proud answer, the owner's smile turned even brighter.
"I can't believe one came to me again," he said with a chuckle. "It has been years since I last saw one. Thank you very very very much for your everyday hard work, Ojou-chan. I know you work hard keeping the peace around the seas everyday. I can't tell you enough how thankful we are."
"Again?"
So there used to be other Kanmusu coming? Kagerou knew Choukai, Ooyodo, and Haguro loved to read, but what she knew they still relied on naval library and even if they did come, it would not have been "years" since Admiral Tendouji would have let them go out...
"Yes, yes, years ago," He laughed. "She looked much older than you, and wore glasses. Her clothes was rather peculiar so I remember her very well..."
Kagerou tilted her head.
"Peculiar?"
"Yes," He smiled. "She came with Admiral Kumazaki that time. Being so young, you might not know Admiral Kumazaki though. Although Lieutenant-san there might know... Sir?"
"Yes, he... was in station when I was first admitted ten years ago," Lieutenant Kouseki nodded, smiled. He answered Kagerou's questioning eyes. "He was in station before Admiral Jiro."
Kagerou made an "O" with her mouth, nodding in acknowledgement. A part of the owner's statement made her curious though.
"Do you know her name, Sir?"
"I sure does. How could one forget a name of a Kanmusu just like that? Especially with her rather gaudy clothes hahahaha."
gaudy?
"If I remember right, her name was Kirishima."
Ah.
"Is she still working in the base? It has been years, she must have already retired, eh."
She thought she was prepared, but she was not. Kagerou was really not prepared with those statements.
"Yes, she unfortunately retired a few years ago."
Lieutenant Kouseki's voice sounded quite far away. Retired? RETIRED?
"If you can't fucking stop them with your useless bullets thanks to your inept shooting skills, fucking stop them with your useless vessel!"
She was not RETIRED.
"At least be useful by not wasting my buckets."
She was—
"Which of these book would you like to have, Ojou-chan? I believe it isn't all of them?"
"O-Oh, yes!"
The words snapped Kagerou back. She hurriedly separated the books, taking the ones she would like to buy. In the end, she could only take two books, which are dog keeping manuals. Trying hard to take her eyes off the books, Kagerou pushed the two books she wanted towards the owner. He smiled, nodding.
"These, I see? That will be... 9750 yen."
Kagerou understood why the cruisers rather read books available at the library now. Handing her hard-earned money to the bookshop owner, Kagerou received the paper bag with the books inside. Feeling how it was for Kurogane, made it not so painful. Well, a bit, but she had to consider the dog's meal and all that and she COULD have bought more if only she did not waste it for the chocolate cake she bought a week ago but... ah well...
"And those will be 27000 yen, Sir."
"What?"
The statement made Kagerou turned her head quickly to her side. Lieutenant Kouseki was buying the stack of books Kagerou was looking on previously, handing over 30000 yen to the bookshop owner. The destroyer quickly held Lieutenant Kouseki's right hand.
"W-Wait a minute, Lieutenant! Those are—"
"What's wrong, Kagerou?" He smiled, his other hand placed on top of Kagerou's on his right. "I want to buy these."
"B-BUT!"
"Would you like to read them?"
Her face reddening, Kagerou shook the Lieutenant's hand even more vigorously.
"I-I don't!"
"Have Shiranui told you that you're bad in lying yourself?"
He instead chuckled and the destroyer got even more flustered.
"Don't tease me! That isn't a reason to have you pay for them! Are you crazy?"
"I think that is enough reason though."
"I-I won't accept them!"
"Then I will keep them," he smiled, turning back at the owner. "You can borrow them from me when you want to read them."
"Lieutenant!"
She lacked words. She lacked words... power... and resources to stop Lieutenant Kouseki from spending for her. Kagerou could only watched in a mix of emotions when the exchange took place, feeling rather... ashamed and helpless. When the huge paper bag was given to the Lieutenant, he turned to see Kagerou all red with tears welling up in her eyes. Lieutenant Kouseki smiled and squatted to level his eyes with hers. Gently, he pushed the paper bag to Kagerou's chest.
The destroyer did not take it.
He smiled, especially when a tear fell onn Kagerou's face. With the same gentleness he brushed it away. Kagerou briskly brushed her tears away right after.
"You're evil."
Her statement hissed between clashing teeth. The Lieutenant only smiled at that.
"Why is that?"
"I feel bad."
"Well, you don't have to. I want to do this. I am feeling really good right now, Kagerou."
The destroyer grimaced.
"If you already buy it and I don't take it... I will make your money more of a waste. You put me in a difficult position, Lieutenant."
He laughed at her words. The Lieutenant put his hand on Kagerou's hair again, smiling wider when that prompt more dangerous glare.
"Well, you put me in a rather difficult position too. Admiral Tendouji would have been mad at me if I don't cater your needs."
"Those aren't "needs", Lieutenant. And don't make an excuse. She does not have anything to do with this."
"Oh she does," He chuckled. "She will be very mad at me if she saw you right now. I will get scolded really bad."
"You did it yourself."
"Perhaps," He smiled, brushing more tears away. "I apologize then."
Oh, how Kagerou hated him. With rather emotional tug, Kagerou took the paper bag and hugged it. The books... they were heavy.
"... Thank you very much, Lieutenant Kouseki."
She did not see him, but she could feel a smile in his reply.
"Anytime, Kagerou. Anytime."
XXX
"Are you sure you don't want to talk to her, Admiral?"
"Should I? I would rather not push if she did not feel like talking to me."
Admiral Tendouji sipped her tea, still having looking outside the window. Her hair was like a curtain draping her back. Heishi, standing in front of her desk, watched her in wonder.
"You... were much stubborn when it was Kongou, Asashio, and Haguro. They too, did not actually approach you in the beginning, did they?"
The woman took a deep breath and seemed to think quite a bit. She tilted her head to the side, though still not turning around to see the Lieutenant behind her. Even without seeing her face, Heishi could see what kind of face she was making. She must have pursed her lips... with a bit of a frown on her face, perhaps closing her eyes as she did so.
Watching her straightening up again, Heishi knew she got her answer... and most probably about now, wet her lips before the reply.
From the look of it, Heishi knew he was right.
"They... did not exactly confide to anyone, that's why."
"And Kagerou is different?"
"She has you."
Now it was Heishi who struggled.
"She... does not exactly talk to me, Admiral."
"She is comfortable with you enough to not deny how she has worries."
Admiral Tendouji finally turned around. Her brown eyes replied Heishi's gaze kindly. The Admiral has this thing about her which calms people down, consoling them. She always felt like she could be trusted. Lately Heishi felt how sly of her to have always appeared that way.
She always made him felt like letting his guard down.
"Unlike Haguro and Kongou, she is a lot more open to Shiranui as well. However that also mean that space was not a vacant place for me to take. I think a more indirect approach would have been the better option. Letting her be more open to those she already trust is an easier and less invasive way."
As always, she had her point. Heishi nodded and bowed slightly in understanding. He could feel the Admiral still watching him. Perhaps...now with her usual tantalizing way.
"Are you, perhaps, against it, Kouseki-san?"
She smiled as she said that. Heishi could not help replying with the same mood.
"Do you believe that I will be?"
She chuckled and put her tea cup back to the desk. As always, her smile was beautiful.
"Even if you are, as your superior I would demand your cooperation. I can be pretty mean when I want to."
You already are right now.
"I can see that," Heishi replied. That made her laughed. "I will be careful."
She was still chuckling when she took her seat again. She folded her hands then looked up towards Heishi. She was smiling. An open, kind smile.
Now you're being mean again.
"May I ask you something, Admiral?" Heishi could not exactly hold himself. She seemed quite interested at Heishi's curiosity and answered lightly, "Sure."
"Why a dog, suddenly?"
"Does answering with 'Kanon had her dogs giving birth and I just want to help adopting' not suffice?"
In a way, Heishi was flattered that she mostly be in this playful mood with him almost most of the time.
"I am led to believe that someone claiming capable of being mean, won't have such an innocent answer."
She laughed again. Her eyes turned gentler.
"Dogs are.. a great listener."
She smiled.
"And most importantly, they will never tell your secrets to other humans. What beats something that love you unconditionally, care for you unconditionally, and at the same time will lock away all your fears? They are guardians in a wide array of meaning, even when the one they guarded did not realize that."
XXX
"I won't die."
The sea was dark. They had left the fire way behind them. Along with their two comrades.
"I won't sink."
Blood tasted like iron in her mouth. Pain and anger burned in her heart deeper, heavier, stronger than any other emotions she had ever felt.
"I will prove him wrong."
Tears fell like waterfall on her face, but hatred settled deep in her heart.
"I will fucking live and prove him wrong."
Her defiance.
Her last defiance. Like how dying was Michishio and Kirishima's last.
~To be continued