Author's Note: Another surprise! I'm on a roll, woot! Hahahaha. Actually this chapter has been written around the time I wrote about Airi getting ill. So yes, it has been a long time ago. The idea itself went as far back as Chapter 2 or 3 so, yeah, I have been waiting a long time to write this chapter. All I had to was add another 4000 words to an already 4000 words excerpt and voila! This was done in around one day? Hahahaha
Lets take it as a way to commemorate my pseudo-holiday.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kantai Collection or any of the song I used in this fic. I did translate Japanese lyrics I used at the beginning of the chapter by myself
Even though I love you so much
that even I felt exhausted
Why
can't I say anything?
Why
is it only you that is special to me?
Arisu Tachibana (IdolMaster Cinderella Girls) – In fact
One, two, three...
Counting the steps in her head unconsciously, Asashio walked up the steps to the main office. In her hand was a report slip of the latest expedition. Expeditions were mostly really lax and easy mission, but can be exhausting. Exhausting especially if they had to take large number of drums. Tenryuu had always took on more drums than the destroyers and just now she said, "my back has been aching lately." Perhaps Asashio should report that to the Admiral. Knowing her, the Admiral would definitely switch Tenryuu with someone else for a vacation. Tenryuu might not exactly say that she wanted to switch, but the Admiral had always told Asashio to report to her for things like these. The Admiral figured that perhaps there were things her ships would not tell her to not disturb her so she said she need extra ears and eyes to see the needs of her ships.
Ah, twenty seven steps. She never realized that there were that many steps before.
Lately all Asashio had done were expeditions. After her remodel, Asashio knew the burden of expedition would be even greater on her since she could now carry the Daihatsus. Mutsuki shared the same fate and lately Asashio's chance on meeting Mutsuki got fewer because one of them would have been on separate expedition to collect separate resources. Of course, both of them did not mind that. Asashio, for one, felt satisfied that she actually served a solid role in the base. She knew Mutsuki felt the same way. Being destroyers, both knew their roles were mostly supportive more than being active combatant. Recon, stealth, patrol, expedition, escort... while the bigger and more powerful ship crushed enemies, they were expected to follow them up with their torpedoes or ensure a safe route home. They may not seemed valuable and sounded like they were easily replaceable at one time but lately Asashio heard that other admiral envied Admiral Tendouji for having highly trained destroyers. Destroyers might be hard to train and had low armor but once high leveled, they could be an extremely valuable asset. Being small, their power was at night where their deadly torpedos could stealthily kill unsuspecting enemies. On top of it, they were also economical.
Like successful expedition. The stronger the destroyers, the more drums they could take, the more resources they could drag, the less they would be hurt by Abyssals during their return.
Admiral Tendouji had been doing more rigorous expedition to stock on resources. It seemed a big operation would soon come and she would need all resources she could get her hands on. Even with her constant rolling on ships, there were certain ships that could not be replaced on account of utility. Mutsuki and Asashio were the two she could not replaced. Both destroyers understood their role completely and they would not ever question their Admiral. Some said, "did Admiral Tendouji change?" at times, when they saw Asashio came back from her expdition. Asashio understood where that came from. Admiral Tendouji never worked any of her ships to the bone, or pushed them to exhaustion. For this part however, she seemed to double the amount of expedition. From outside, it would seem as if it was sudden "heartless, materialistic" conduct coming from "supposedly soft hearted" admiral. The fact that Asashio was not exempted from such treatment—since sometimes the Admiral rejected other admiral's offer for post transfer when it comes to Asashio or even refused to deploy her in some mission—made people questioned if something was up.
Deep down, Asashio knew her Admiral did not change. Perhaps one day Admiral Tendouji would disclose those reasons to them.
Patting invisible dust away from her white overcoat, the new clothes—or rather armor—she got after her new remodel, Asashio prepared herself before knocking on the huge double door.
~A Myth~
When she came in, a rather peculiar scene greeted her. Kaga, Akagi, Nagato, Haruna, Takao, Choukai, and Shouhou were present in the room, standing in front of the Admiral's desk. Their eyes automatically fell on her as she opened the door, and the whole attention made her froze there on the spot. Also the silence. The solemn silence.
Who would not hesitate when you had three carriers, two battleships, and two heavy cruisers looked at you, a mere destroyer, right at the same time.
"Right in time. Asashio, come."
Admiral Tendouji's familiar friendly voice erased Asashio's confusion for once and the destroyer hastily answered with a "yes, Commander!" and half ran closer. Nagato and Haruna stepped aside to give Asashio room right in front of the Admiral, somehow making Asashio felt strangely... honored. Two battleships made way for a mere destroyer. Surely not many destroyer had such moments.
It was unusual to see the big guns in one room other than command room. Perhaps there would be some kind of important operation to come. With how Admiral Tendouji stocked the resources, it was not surprising. The only one missing would be Kongou, who was away on a mission to the north with the rest of the heavy cruisers.
"Commander, I come to deliver the report for Expedition 38 by the Third Fleet, it was a great success!"
"Oh, otsukaresama," the Admiral gave a gentle smile, receiving Asashio's written report. Somehow... she seemed a lot more tired than usual. "Thank you very much, Sweetling. Anything else?"
"Regarding the route, there was no Abyssal encounter at all. This is the tenth time in succession after the main fleet's interception battle on the northern seas. I would propose this route as alternative route for civilian cruiser."
A small smile bloomed on the Admiral's weary face. However Asashio felt that smile was not for the good news, but more for something else in the Admiral's own agenda. Over time Asashio had learned how to read the Admiral. Perhaps because she was constantly honest, it was easy to understand her conduct. Admiral Tendouji silently skimmed the report, then looked back at Asashio. A meaningful smile spread on her face.
"And then?"
Just like how the Admiral was easy to read, Asashio was easy to read as well.
"Tenryuu-san said her back hurts. I propose member change in Third Fleet for the next expedition."
The Admiral raised her eyebrows.
"That's bad. Lets have her rest for a week. And you yourself?"
"I am ready to deploy at anytime, Commander! My condition is on its prime. I await your orders."
There was no need to question herself or checking herself. Asashio stood straight and confident in her place. For her Admiral, she would always be ready. Admiral Tendouji's smile softened. She gave the report to Shouhou, who obediently took it. Usually if she were alone with the Admiral, the Admiral would ask more, for example her meal, the condition of the destroyers, overall condition of the base. Asashio took it upon herself to be more proactive to her surrounding when it was about their base, their home. She knew the Admiral had no time to cover every single thing about the base, so she would report if anything was wrong or if anyone was having a problem. After the incident where she finally understood the reason of why the Admiral wanted her daily report, Asashio felt like she could talk about anything, no matter how small it was, to her Admiral. It was a really positive change, since she felt and saw it herself how her Admiral turned a lot more relaxed with her, and trusted her for informal things like the gardening supplies or maybe new year presents. At times she also said some private things such as how she needed more leek in the kitchen, or that her little sister had been accepted in nursing school. She might not have Shouhou's ability to organize and share her Admiral's administrative burden, but Asashio was glad she could help listening or provide some gap of time which her Admiral needs.
With the other big guns around her, it would be quite awkward to begin talking like they used to in private. Besides, other than Tenryuu's back pain there was nothing exactly worth mentioning (maybe that hungry cat loitering around the destroyers' dormitory...
"Are you alright, Commander?" Asashio could not wait until they were alone to finally ask. Her Admiral just looked awful. She seemed to have a lot in her mind, she lacked her usual energy, and she severely needed sleep. She had been going home earlier than she used to for around a month now. Supposedly she went to a general meeting while Asashio was away. Perhaps something happened during the meeting. Even if the Admiral did not answer now, Asashio already had the plan to approach her again later in dusk, if the Admiral was alone.
Admiral Tendouji's smile remained unchanged. She chuckled.
"I am sorry I make you worry," She said with a tint of laughter. "I'm just a bit tired. The reason was nothing to be concerned of though. It has nothing to do with the base or work.. Wait, maybe because it has nothing to do with it..."
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...
The Admiral just let out a very long, deep sigh.
The ships all looked at each other. It seemed the big guns also did not know the reason why their Admiral was this unusually low spirited. The Admiral laughed.
"Ah, it really is not a big deal. You all have been helping me quite a lot in manning the base during my leave. In fact, those are the direct help I need."
"Leave?" Asashio unknowingly raised her voice. Did she mean... "Commander, you're leaving?"
"Temporary leave, Asashio," The Admiral gave reassuring smile. "Around a week. That is why I will need some of you to lead this base while I am away. I am just going home to Kyoto for a while. I need to see my family."
Family business... Asashio nodded in understanding. That was the first time Asashio ever heard of her Admiral going to go home for family visit however. It must be something important. But then why did the Admiral made such a sigh? Did anything bad happen?
Did her family...? No. That can't be... If that is so she would have... said something, wouldn't she?
Asashio could not voice that however, feeling suddenly the solid floor under her feet like the solid feeling of her being the subordinate of her Admiral. She did not even know if asking would be appropriate.
"Ah, it's nothing like tragedy or anything. My family is fine. You don't have to worry."
Thank God.
Perhaps Asashio was not the only one thinking of that possibility, since she could hear soft sighs left and right.
The Admiral's smile somehow meant something else.
"Would you like to accompany me meeting my family, Asashio? I need your assistance."
"Eh?"
Asashio blinked. The others looked at her flustered and confused expression, some were smiling. Meeting the Admiral's FAMILY? Wasn't that some kind of important job? Wouldn't she become a kind of ambassador? What did she mean? The Admiral chuckled at her reaction and continued, "just accompany me home, will you? You can take that as a vacation after all the exped..."
"W-wait, Commander!" the destroyer panicked. With these many big guns around her and SHE was the one appointed? "I-Is that alright? I-I mean, isn't Shouhou-san or Haruna-san will be better—"
"We have our own mission to do during that time, Asashio-chan," Haruna said gently. She smiled. "Shouhou-san needs to stay to command the base as well. I think you are perfect for the job."
"B-but I..."
"But of course if you would like to decline, then I have no choice but to search someone else," the Admiral made a saddened expression. Asashio flustered. "I really hope you would accept the offer, though. I would have been very hap—"
"I-I, I am honored, Commander! I will try my best!"
She was such a pushover when it was about her Admiral. The woman gave a wide, big, bright grin upon hearing her answer. Suddenly a memo was already offered to Shouhou, who also seemed to have already expected it.
"Ten days permit for Asashio, Shouhou. It will be quite a long trip."
XXX
The next day, they departed early in the morning... on foot to a nearby train station. Asashio thought that they would be using one of the vans, but the Admiral said that using the facility for personal affair did not sit well with her. As she said that she jokingly winked at Asashio and said that she had cheated by bringing her along—she gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder. The Admiral, however, still used her white uniform. Shouhou bade them goodbye, telling Asashio to enjoy, and had a look of longing when the Admiral turned around with her suitcase in her hand. Asashio knew, if she could, Shouhou would have loved to be the one going with the Admiral.
"I am sorry..."
The light carrier laughed, when Asashio mumbled that under her breath before leaving. She bend herself, tidying Asashio's white overcoat. Her eyes turned gentler.
"Asashio-chan. We all have our own roles. My presence will only remind her of work. Your presence will remind her of home. Admiral Tendouji needs her break... please help her relax. Take care and have fun."
Role? Home? Asashio did not understand what Shouhou meant but she decided not to voice it.
This was not the first time for Asashio to go out of the base. She had gone to Admiral Tendouji's home several times before so she was well acquainted with the small, rather quiet village around the naval base. The baker near Admiral's house perhaps already remembered Asashio well. Despite knowing that the town was quiet, the small train station still seemed so barren with almost no one but an elderly station master who came out of the office the moment he saw both the Admiral and Asashio. The Admiral went to small green machine, inputting some money and pressing on an option. A while later two small card popped out. She gave one to Asashio.
It was only two centimeters wide and around five centimeters long. Small but thick. The front side had "380 yen" and "Aoya" written on it. Asashio had never seen such a thing.
"The numbers are the fare."
Admiral Tendouji finally said her first statement. They had been walking in silence until the train station, lost in each other's thoughts. Her voice somehow sounded gentler than they usually sound like. Asashio looked at her Admiral then back at her card. The woman bend down, her index finger traced the part she mentioned.
"This here is Aoya, our station. You see the panel on top over there? The box show the fare that we must pay to reach other station. The red one is Aoya... and we are going to Tottori. It shows 380 yen."
Asashio nodded slowly. So that is how it works.
This information was rather useless for her though, since she would never travel alone. She doubt she would EVER need to travel using train ever other than this time, to be honest. However, it was very interesting to know how the human world works. Perhaps that in itself is enough for a reason.
"Do you want to keep it?" asked the Admiral, smiling. Asashio looked up in confusion.
"We are not going to keep the ticket?"
"In our destination, we will insert this to a machine to get out so... oh yes."
Admiral Tendouji turned to look at the station master. She gave the man her ticket, which he punched a hole on before he gave it back. She talked to him for several minute, and somehow the station master laughed and nodded. They exchanged pleasantries several times, and he disappeared into his post. A moment later he came back, talking to the Admiral again while having his eyes at Asashio.
"Asashio, come."
On her Admiral's call, Asashio hastily walked closer. A bit hesitant, she gave her ticket like what the Admiral did.
"Thank you." the station master smiled as he punched a hole in her ticket. "And this is for you to keep."
He gave her a blank ticket along with her first one. Asashio took them, then peered curiously at the new ticket she had. It had Aoya written on it, but without any value on. She looked at her Admiral then the station master, puzzled. She did not see the station master gave the same thing to her Admiral.
"Excuse me, Sir, but what do I do with this?"
"Just keep it as a souvenir," The station master said softly. "That is a gift."
Then the destroyer understood what the whole banter her Admiral did just now. Her face reddened.
"A-A gift? Is that alright? I did not do anything that..."
"Just so you remember this small station," the station master laughed and pushed the ticket closer to Asashio. "Go on. Have a nice trip, Little One."
The Admiral let her bowed and said numerous thanks, before then waited at the platform.
When the train came, the Admiral gently took one of Asashio's hand, leading her to the train. Her hand was so warm, her presence felt like a protective veil all around her and washed away all the unfamiliarity of land and human world that she felt. When she grasped her Admiral's hand back, she thought she saw a smile on her superior's face.
Somehow for now... they were not Admiral and Kanmusu. Asashio did not feel it like that. They were just an adult and a young girl.
XXX
Monotonous sound of train machine. Asashio watched scenery unfolded and brushed past her. Other than that, the train was quiet. It was filled with people wearing suits, people who seemed just as busy as her Admiral. Asashio thought that her Admiral's clothes would stand out, being formal clothes, but turned out in such train, the contrary happened. Everyone here looked like they were out on some kind of business trip. When they arrived at Tottori, Asashio was overwhelmed by the many people, also how common people in suits are when they were about to step into the express train. In fact the one that stood out would be the very lively group of tourists several seats from them, wearing casual clothes and happily taking pictures. They spoke in some other country's languages; their happy chatters were such a contrast with the other passenger's rather solemn and dismissive attitude.
The destroyer returned her gaze at the window. The admiral let her sit by the window side. Not only it made her able to enjoy the outside view, her presence that blocked the middle walkway kind of assured her. It was quite ashamed to say that she was the one reassured by her Admiral's presence and not the other way around. In land, she almost had nothing to boast about. Land was not her place. Asashio could even admit how she felt both powerless and uncertain. She knew she would protect her Admiral if anything shall arise with all combat knowledge and reflexes she was programmed to know but... for now she had to admit the entire foreign environment made her nervous. It was just unfamiliar...
Asashio could feel her Admiral shifted her body. A hand gently rested on her shoulder.
"I am sorry that I talked you into this trip."
She began, obviously refering to her "I can just find someone else" words that she said yesterday.
Asashio quickly turned around to look at her, shaking her head. Trying to make her face looked as convincing as ever, she talked with usual steadfast tone.
"No, you didn't, Commander. I enjoy this trip."
The woman raised her eyebrows.
"You do?"
"I do, Commander. Thank you very much."
She smiled, giving her destroyer's head a pat. She seemed to see the uncertainty and nervousness that inflicted her destroyer and perhaps even assumed that her destroyer was lying, but she did not voice them and accepted Asashio's words as is. The admiral's hand felt consoling, giving her the calm that she needed.
"That's good."
She still brushed Asashio's hair for a few moment. Her eyes looked somewhat distant, but there were affection there, even more than she usually showed when they were at the base. Asashio looked down, she could not muster enough courage to look up. Even now, after a very long while of being with her, it was still quite hard to let herself be... spoiled. She felt like she did not deserve it. But the Admiral always gave her all these loving gestures which she could not help but to love. It made her happy but it also made her feel guilty. She did not feel like she deserved them.
"If you want drinks or anything, just tell me, okay?"
"Yes, Commander."
"Or if you're feeling sleepy, or tired, or want to go to the restroom..."
Asashio could not hold her smile. She finally looked up, suddenly feeling all the nervousness and burden that she felt gone. This was her usual worrywart admiral. Perhaps surrounding her were no longer sea or beach or sand. Perhaps they were now heading deeper inland, to a place where she had no power at all. It made her nervous. It made her felt powerless. However, her usual worrywart and kind admiral was here. Here. Solid and real. Everything was going to be okay.
She answered her Admiral's gentle eyes and said firmly, with an amused smile.
"Yes, Commander."
With her reply, even her Admiral now began to smile.
XXX
The bus stop they got off was located by what seemed to be the suburban part of the city, away from high buildings of Kyoto Station or the rather tourist-filled network of houses and stores. Houses were build neatly by the hill, some are shops selling green tea ice cream and mochi. At the other side of the road where they got off, a big gate was present, and the surrounding of whatever the gate was opening into, was guarded by stone roofed wall. Two young females had just walked outside of the gate, chatting, bringing some kind of bag with them. They opened a map, which they seemed to have gotten from the train station.
Tourist?
Placing her Admiral cap back on, the Admiral did not pay attention to them and instead of going through the gate, she walked to a small road that ran beside the wall fence. Asashio quickly ran following her, taking last glance towards the gate they passed.
She could briefly took a glimpse of the huge wooden sign on the gate.
Ten... Tendou... Tendouji?
Wasn't that Commander's name? Then why...?
The Admiral continue walking, following the small road. Other house lined up on the other side of the small road, small old Japanese style houses. Because there were considerable folliages beyond the wall fence, the road was shaded. Green moss colored much of the old stone wall fence and the small road, it almost felt like the whole place was deserted—so unlike the road where the tourists past. No one passed the road other than them. On that road, there were only the two of them and the sound of their shoes tapping the stone road. The Admiral's fingers brushed the wall, like touching a fleeting a memory.
And slowly, she hum.
It was but a faint voice, but with the quiet of the road, her voice was clear.
Listening to her humming, somehow it felt... nostalgic. With a pang of sadness, but filled with affection.
Watching the back of her Admiral, Asashio started to wonder why it felt that way.
She stopped humming when they arrived at another gate at the stone wall. However unlike the previous grand gate, it was just a modest small wooden gate. It was opened, showing small dirt path covered by small stones that cut through a beautiful moss garden with momoji trees beautifully awning the road. A small pond was visible some meters away from the path, pooling from a small river than ran through the path coming from the mountain. A young man in deep blue monk clothing was sweeping the path not so far away from the gate. He raised his head when the Admiral went in, and an unmistakable surprised expression came to his face.
"Ah, Airi-san!"
Airi...san... Asashio blinked. She had never heard of her Admiral being called by front name other than by Hakurei-sensei or Admiral Kudou.
"G'day, Ken-san. It's been a long time. You're doing good lately?"
Dialect.
Her Admiral dropped her formal speech and actually went to her dialect. Asashio rarely heard her Admiral used the Kyoto dialect, only when she was talking with Hakurei-Sensei. It was still kind of strange to hear it, since it added this homely touch to her voice for some reason. It added this sense of familiarity and humbleness, also the different notes made it sound almost like a melody. Admiral Tendouji took off her formal cap and bowed, replying the monk's deeper bow. The monk placed his broom carefully beside a tree and quickly came to Airi, beaming. His eyes briefly went to Asashio, who bowed to him. He did not exactly give much reaction other than a nod however, because it was clear who the real star was that this man really wanted to see again.
"It really IS a long time! How have you been? You rarely come home, Airi-san! My goodness, look at you! Why don't you use that last time you came? That uniform, you really ARE an Admiral now!"
"Excuse me?" Admiral Tendouji laughed. "What does that exactly mean?"
"Ahahahaha I still can't believe that our kind, gentle, generous Airi-san is actually serving the navy, protecting the seas and..."
"You surely are being fed by too much media embellishment. Shall I tell Father (Otousama) of that?"
"Your father might have known that more than you do," The young monk laughed, rubbing his shoulder. He grinned. "He always hit me good during meditation."
"It's because you didn't exactly meditate."
"Well true," The person called Ken-san laughed. His eyes moved to Asashio. "Oh, and who is this young lady over here?"
"Oh, yes," Admiral Tendouji smiled, circling her arm around Asashio. "This is Asashio. One of my Kanmusu. She is my es-"
"YOUR WHAT?"
The next thing that Asashio knew, was that her pre-configured imagery of a monk had just shattered into pieces.
XXX
After that, everything went almost too fast. The monk hurried back it to inform "the others" of Admiral Tendouji's arrival, leaving them both to walk to the house alone. To be exact, that was the only time Asashio was left alone with the Admiral. Right after they arrived in front of a Japanese styled house and greeted by a pack of shiba inu dogs—which were ECSTATIC at Admiral's arrival—people just start coming out of the house, the garden, the small door by a wooden fence that seemed to lead somewhere else... and Asashio lost track of everything.
There were too many human. Some are monks, some are...some are... people? Normal people? Friends? Or are they monk too? Asashio did not know or understand. They all surrounded the Admiral, greeting her, talking, asking, hugging, high-five-ing, whatever you name them. They almost did not realize Asashio was there, until Ken-san the previous monk came back and went, "Oh, yes, this is her Kanmusu, can you believe that?!"
And now everyone went "Ooooooohhh!" and had their eyes on her. Asashio took a sharp breath, seeing those eyes lit up and understood right then it would not stop at a mere "Ooooh...". Not when all of them had never seen a Kanmusu before...
However, before anyone even had the time to finish their question on Asashio, Admiral Tendouji stood in front of her destroyer, blocking them.
"Heeeeeeey everyone, wait up, wait up, wait up a second," She practically blocked them, it was not even a feint. "It seems my destroyer needs some rest. She is not accustomed to land transportation so..."
"Eh? So they like, live at the sea?"
"They look like ordinary girl!"
"Do they—"
"Ah, Kei-kun. Kei-kun, come here, can you help Asashio find her room?"
Ignoring the others, Admiral Tendouji called a meek and silent young teenager standing a bit apart from the crowd. The teenager, named Kei, blinked, a bit surprised at the call, but a while later he nodded. His eyes darted to Asashio, then looked away as fast as it came, but overall he did not say anything. With the crowd growing silent and instead chattering between themselves, Admiral Tendouji turned around, lowering her height to level her face with Asashio.
Her brown eyes were filled with apology. Even deeper than the look she gave to her destroyer by the train.
Her hand cupped Asashio's face, brushing the destroyer's flushed cheek with her thumb. Finding solace in that touch, Asashio instinctively grasped those warm hand. Half of her did not want to let that hand go. Among these strangers, these hands were the only ones she knew.
"Sweetheart, I am so sorry, but you can follow Kei and take a rest inside."
Without her?
"Commander..."
"I have to meet with many more people and it will get even busier than this. I will see you later after I finish greeting the others, okay? I know you're tired. I am so sorry, Sweetheart."
I am not tired.
But that was not it. Even now, she could feel numerous eyes trained on her, making her well trained sense prickled with uneasy sensation. It was not a feeling of being wanted dead, no, she was well accustomed to Abyssal's murderous intent. It felt as if... she was being appraised, like an object in an art exhibit. Admiral Tendouji gave a small smile right after, but her eyes showed something else. Apology. And a small message. Asashio nodded. She swiftly took her Admiral's briefcase.
"I will take your luggage as well, Commander."
"Ah yes, please, thank you, Asashio," She smiled. She gestured Kei closer. "I am sorry, Kei-kun. Please take her to my room. If you could, please pour her some tea as well."
"Yes, Airi-neesan."
The teenager only nodded. He stood waiting until Asashio, who tried really hard to shrug off the feeling of being looked at by so many people, came to his side, before saying, "Please, this way."
With that, Kei took her to the front door of Tendouji house—a big Japanese style house. From the front door, they arrived at the hall, a porch that leads to elevated wooden floor. Putting on slippers for guest that was left on a wooden rack, Asashio followed Kei. The flooring were dark wood, making soft sound when stepped on. Right in front of the front door was living room, a large tatami room separated by paper door from the hallway, while the hallway itself extended to the left and right. Kei took her to the left, passing circular window that showed the front garden. Asashio could see the Admiral was still talking with the crowd. She could hear their excited voices from the house.
Kei took her deeper into the house, turning right once and and left, passing rooms with paper doors and a small inner garden, before he finally stopped in front of one room at the end of a hallway. In that side of the house all the sound from the front garden were already drowned away, it was unusually quiet. Only the sound of the leaves moving in the wind and the chirps of birds was heard. The previous loud voices of chatters were completely gone. He slid open an unlocked paper door, then moved out to give Asashio a way.
"Airi-neesan's room. Please."
Asashio found herself griping both Admiral's briefcase and her own case tighter. Admiral Tendouji's personal bedroom. In her house. The place she grew up in. She find it quite odd to be unlocked, but perhaps since she had not returned to the house for so long, she left it that way? Either way, Kei definitely knew it was unlocked like it was a matter of fact, and his face remained placid as he let Asashio stepped in.
Standing by the sliding door, Asashio froze. Light shone into the room from an open window and an open sliding that leads toward a terrace, heading to an inner garden bathed with light filtered by the leaves of the momoji trees there. The room was around six tatami wide, rectangular in shape and was, Asashio felt, almost similar to the one room they made in the base. A low book shelf was the first thing one would see upon entering. Books lined up neatly inside and at the top there were an assortment of music box and accessory box. Beside the bookshelf, under the window, was a low study table, looking tidy and pristine. Several photo frames were on display there, and there were stationery left in tidy baskets. On the other side of the room was an alcove and the closet door, while at the wall side stood a standing mirror, right beside a wardrobe. Other than that, the room was barren.
Asashio stepped in slowly inside, finding herself breathing harder than normal.
The room... faintly had her Admiral's familiar scent. With the light shining gently on the tatami, she could almost imagine her admiral sitting there facing the garden. It was serene. Almost magically so.
"Would you like some tea, Asashio-san?"
Kei's voice almost made her jumped. Asashio quickly looked back, finding the teenager still stood by the door. He seemed to be someone bad at looking into someone else's eyes, as he kept on looking somewhere else. However, now that the anxiety left Asashio, she understood that the teenager was merely shy. He did not seem to be intentionally appearing rude, he seemed like he just had difficulty to look into the eyes of stranger.
"Thank you very much... um... Kei-san?"
That was the only name she knew of him, if she knew her last name she would have called him by his last name. She wondered if he was a Tendouji as well, with him calling the Admiral big sister, but it did not seem so. From what she observed, the Admiral seemed close with many people, it was not surprising that anyone would call her with that nickname even if they had no blood relation.
Hearing her calling him by name, made him lifted his eyes a bit to look at Asashio, but it was but a few second. He nodded and quietly said, "... Please wait a moment."
He disappeared from the door.
Left alone, Asashio stood in the middle of the room.
Everything around her were her Admiral's personal belongings. The wardrobe, the table, the shelves... somehow it felt like she was staring at them if she had just let her eyes fell on them even a little. She could not help it.
She wanted to know.
How had her Admiral grown up? Did she usually sit in front of that table? Maybe by the terrace, watching the garden? Or maybe standing by that mirror looking at her self before she went to school? A lot of things went into Asashio's head as she put the luggage at one side of the wall, beside the mirror, and finally, thinking that the middle of the room facing the garden as the most... ideal place to be, sat at the tatami floor facing the garden. This way, she would not have to look at the other things in the room... and the garden looked beautiful under the sunlight, it could take her mind off the stuff around her. She just felt like it would not be appropriate to start looking here and there in her Admiral's room.
A while later Kei came back with a cup of tea. If Asashio was not as trained as she was, perhaps she wouldn't even hear his faint, "excuse me." as he slipped in and put the tea on the table. He only bowed at Asashio's thank you, and did not wait to right away slipped out through the door again.
Human... are so strange...
Asashio wondered as she looked at the now closed door, then the cup of tea. The Tendouji household... seemed to be a lot more colorful than she thought.
X
By the time the Admiral came into the room, the sun already tilted to the west. She came in with an exasperated expression, sighing as she slid open the door. Asashio quickly sprang to her feet, bowing to her with a, "welcome back, Commander!" and went to receive her cap if she wanted to place them somewhere. The destroyer's voice seemed to wake her up from whatever she was previously thinking, and a smile quickly came to her face. Instead of placing her cap on Asashio's awaiting hand, she put them onto the destroyer's head.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," She said kindly. Asashio shook her head, one of her hands still on the cap by her head. "Did Kei offer you drinks?"
"Oh, he gave me some tea earlier... Ah, I apologized, Commander, I had drank them all and..."
"Ah no, no, it's okay," The Admiral chuckled. She took a seat at the tatami floor, right in front of her study table. A nostalgic smile came on her face while she looked at the state of her table, especially when her eyes fell on the few photo frames displayed near the wall. "I am glad you have your drink. I was half afraid Kei will be too shy to offer you. He has been like that since he was a child. Barely even talked. Glad he improved a lot now."
"I-I see..."
Well that partially explained his rather bizarre behavior. Asashio sat in front of her Admiral not knowing exactly what to do, so she await her orders. The Admiral scanned her table nonchalantly, stopping at several frames displayed on the table. Finally Asashio could not stand her own curiosity.
"Umm... Commander?"
"Yes, Sweetie?"
"W-who are those people... earlier?"
Hearing her question, the Admiral unexpectedly chuckled. She kindly looked at her destroyer, an apologetic look on her face.
"I am sorry that frightened you," She said, patting Asashio's face. The destroyer shook her head frantically. "It's okay, Sweetie, I know. They're the attendants of this house and the temple. They are all my old friends and acquaintances. They are not usually that impolite, but well, they have been waiting for a long time to see a Kanmusu, so they are a bit way too enthusiastic. Ever since I was stationed, they have been asking me about how Kanmusu are like and everything. Well, to them you are but a myth after all."
A myth? Asashio tilted her head a bit. Having your self being called as myth felt strange. Like you don't exactly exist. Is it really that unusual? She had never really talked to anyone outside the people around the base so she would not have known. Since she had been living all her life in the base, she had never met anyone reacted the way those people did before. Perhaps people who lived in the core of the mainland really never had dreamed of meeting a Kanmusu—for an understandable reason. But were they really that strange? Did they really warrant such reaction? She then looked down at her clothes, her vest, her uniform/armor. Was it...
"Ahahaha, no, you don't look strange at all, sweetheart," The Admiral read her. She chuckled, patting her destroyer again. "Instead, that is why they were so surprised. You look normal. For them that is new. Maybe they imagined you being half covered in metal and all that..."
Asashio blinked.
"M-metal?"
"Well, ship girl," Admiral Tendouji chuckled. "Ship. Funnels, rigs.. look, you don't look like ship, you are just a girl."
"Ah..." Asashio slowly understood. Well that makes sense. If anyone said there was a car boy, she would have imagined they would look at least like a car, or more like a car than a boy. Well... what does that make her now?
Am I not that real?
The Admiral smiled apologetically at her expression.
"I will slowly introduce you to them tomorrow. A while ago was way too hectic and it will make you way too uncomfortable. Tomorrow I bet their earlier excitement would have died down much. I hope you will not mind if they ask you questions?"
Asashio shook her head firmly. She did not mind at all.
"No, Commander. I will gladly answer."
She replied her Admiral's gentle stare seriously. Wasn't that was why she was here? As an ambassador of the Kanmusu of the base. She would make sure that she would not embarrassed her Admiral. The Admiral smiled again, saying thank you. She looked quite tired, understandable with the previous crowd—which presumably meant there were more. She could imagine her Admiral went around the temple, greeting and talking to every acquaintance present at that moment.
Asashio could not suppress her smile. Although the people a while ago were quite daunting for her, they undoubtedly extremely delighted to see her Admiral back home. Those knowledge alone made her felt warm.
"They seem to really love you, Commander. They look like they are extremely elated to have you home."
Somehow those words made the Admiral froze. The woman glanced to meet Asashio's eyes. her brown eyes suddenly filled with different kind of emotions. At that second, suddenly Asashio felt that same feeling she had when they were at the train, or when she arrived at the office after her expedition when her Admiral asked her to come along. She could not understand yet what happened, but it was pretty much clear that the reason why she went back home was not simple family affair.
"Yeah. Yeah, they are really close to me. They are good people."
Even her reply sounded empty, an obvious facade.
"... Are you not happy of going home, Commander?"
The brown eyes widened slightly at her remark. Asashio suddenly realized that perhaps she had crossed something personal, and that was beyond her call of duty, and she quickly bowed down to the floor.
"I am sorry, Commander! I did not mean to intrude—"
"No, no, Sweetheart, don't bow like that, it's okay." But the destroyer still had her head planted on the floor. Her Admiral pat her shoulder. "It's okay, really. Asashio, Sweetie, lift your head."
It took a while until Asashio finally lifted her head. When she did, there was a smile on the Admiral's face, a rather sad one. Meeting eyes with her destroyer, she gave a light knock on her destroyer's head. It didn't hurt, but it did surprise the girl. The destroyer fearfully looked at her Admiral.
"How many times should I tell you not to be that formal to me when we are together?"
There was no anger in her voice... but there was a slight sadness. Asashio nodded slowly, but could not help still feeling quite guilty. Seeing her expression, the Admiral sighed. She smiled wider and opened her arms. Her eyes turned gentle.
"Come here, Sweetheart, let me hug you."
The destroyer obediently nodded and went for her Admiral's arms.
As she wrapped her arms around the older woman, instinctively, Asashio closed her eyes.
They had hugged so many times, Asashio felt her body reacted naturally, burying her face onto her Admiral's shoulder. Her Admiral's body felt so warm and so familiar. Her scent, her warmth, even the gentle pressure she gave in her embrace, it all reminded her of home. Home. The base, the sea. Her Admiral's solid presence calmed her heart. Suddenly what had happened this whole day came to her. The ticket without destination that she got, the trip on the train, the numerous scenery she passed, the people she met... Everything felt so surreal, but they were real. She really did went through them all. She really did went away, far away from the base and the sea. She really was in a place completely new for her now...
Around her, at the moment, were mountains and trees. Temples and buildings and people. Human. She was the only Kanmusu for kilometers around. The only one.
Mother.
Just by that thought, Asashio unconsciously strengthened her hug.. and Admiral returned her embrace, patting her hair, rocking her gently without saying anything.
You're here, Mother.
The people in this house, they were the Admiral's family. Real family. They grew up with her, essentially a part of her life. Compared to the time they had spent with her Admiral, Asashio was nothing but a stranger. Was it even appropriate to feel close to someone, yet feeling so estranged from the people the one you love is closed to? What does family exactly entail? How did all of these work? Asashio did not understand. Other than the ship of her class... she had no one she could actually officially call family. They were not registered in her memory.
Yes, even her Admiral was not technically registered as her family.
When they finally let each other go, Asashio felt her eyes already wet with tears again. She did not understand why it happened and she could not identify the feelings as easily as she could identify anger or plain sadness. This feelings made her felt warm, felt happy, yet sad at the same time. The Admiral was smiling however, and as always she brushed those tears away with her thumb gently without saying anything. Every time this happened—where she just suddenly found herself crying for reason unknown to her—both of them always only silently accepting it. The Admiral never said anything about it and Asashio herself had no words to it. However somehow, Asashio felt that it was alright. Perhaps it was just a process. Of what, she herself could not identify. But for her, the tears and all these feelings in her heart, it felt precious.
If addressing it would change the way it was as of now... Asashio would rather not say a word about it. She just wanted to keep it. This precious feelings to her Admiral.
The room now turned quite dim, as sunlight had gradually disappeared. Admiral Tendouji smiled at her, then finally stood up, reaching to the dangling switch of the neon light by the ceiling. After letting the light flooded the room, she smiled, putting her hand on her hip.
"Well, it's around dinner time now. Since no one is home, I guess we just have to cook for ourselves."
"No one is home?" asked Asashio in disbelief. Still sitting on the floor, she found that almost impossible. She remembered just how many people there was today that greeted her Admiral, no way that they just disappeared. "But what about..."
"Oh, they don't live here, they live around here," Admiral Tendouji waved her hand in front of her face. "This is my home, only my family live here. During the day, they help with the garden and the temple and they go home after 3 usually. Only during festival or other occasion would they stay longer. Well, the disciples do live here... but they lived in another part of the temple, they don't go around my place."
If that is so then...
"Then... where is your family, Admiral?"
The reaction to that question was unusually lacking. Admiral Tendouji raised her shoulder.
"Shouhei attend university in Nagoya, so he doesn't come back here. Shiori must be busy with nursing school, perhaps we will meet her later. Okaasama must be busy with her restaurant chain, she might be back like, I don't know, maybe late at night?... and Otousama usually has his own schedule with the temple. He might not even be back here for dinner or even any meal."
Eh?
Asashio blinked. That sound pretty messed up schedule for a family. Plus, wasn't Admiral's return supposedly something special? Admiral Tendouji gave a small smile.
"You will meet them later. Don't worry."
"You don't tell them you will be back?"
The smile on her Admiral's face looked strange, but for a split second Asashio could feel a deep sadness. It disappeared fast as though it never existed.
"Telling them won't make any difference. Well, unless it's Shouhei and Shiori."
Before Asashio could inquire further, Admiral Tendouji already took her hand and tugged her to her feet. She had her usual bright smile on, along with a grin. Her face turned gentle.
"Okay, now... what would you like for dinner? Lets cook our meal together, shall we? And surprise Shiori when she gets back."
"C-cook?"
The Admiral smiled, nodded. She gently patted Asashio's cheek.
"Yes, cook," She firmly. "You and I. Together. Shall we?"
It was hard to not smile at the mere concept of that offer.
"Yes, Commander!"
Even if the idea of cooking something with the Admiral made Asashio felt that warm feeling all over her again, she still could not shake off that strange emphasis in her Admiral's words.
Within the people she said would look forward for the meal, she only mentioned her sister... but not any of her parents.
~ TO BE CONTINUED ~
Author's Note: Man, that new Deresute character episode for Arisu was pretty good, eh? For once it's developing LOL I swear Deresute writer needs to stop copy paste stuff like "kirakira" and "kagayaku suteeji" in every single freaking episodes, and try to find other way to convey gratitude instead of the template "because Producer-san is here beside me!" or those kind of things. Also stop making it unnaturally all about producer!... eh I ended up ranting. Teheee.