The Life of Female Admiral

by EshtarWind

A story of a female admiral in a Kanmusu naval base and how she deals with the many different personalities around her and also in her unique situation. Each chapter is loosely linked with each other. OC (obviously) is not paired with any Kanmusu as she is a straight female. MAY have pairings in the future.

19. Family

Author's note: I am sorry for the late update. This will be the last of Admiral Tendouji Airi's Family chapters.

---

It was sad, it was frustrating, it was painful

But you were always watching, always listening

This time it's my turn

Mukashi Mukashi no Kyou no Boku – Deco*27 feat Hatsune Miku.

---

Heavy atmosphere weighted the room. The air felt so thick it was almost palpable. Birds chirped outside and leaves whispered with the wind, but those were the only sound that could be heard by everyone sitting in that room. Asashio sat in seiza at one edge of the room, tidy in her uniform. She nervously glanced beside her, to Tendouji Shiori who sat in seiza with closed eyes. Beside Shiori sat a woman in her 60 wearing a soft-colored Kimono with traditional floral pattern. She aged beautifully, if it was a good expression to use. White hair appeared as beautiful streaks by her tidy silky black hair and soft wrinkles were visible by the side of her eyes. Her eyes were strikingly light brown, a trait that seemed only partly inherited to her eldest daughter. Asashio could hardly read any emotion from those eyes and expression. She looked straight, steady, devoid of emotion, having her eyes on her eldest daughter who stood in the middle of the hall, wearing black-colored gi, helmet, protection vest, and handguard, with a bokken in her hand.

~~ Family ~~

Asashio still did not understand how it had come to this. How her Admiral now stood around three meters away from her supposedly soon-to-be fiance, both equipped with bokken. The one who stood as the supposed referee was that man who met Asashio by the stone garden, the man with black robe and shaved hair—Tendouji Hiroshi, the father of Admiral Tendouji. With both parents of "Amakusa Jin", Admiral's supposed boyfriend, siting solemnly on the other side of the Tendouji family, perhaps it would only require a bit of conjecture to explain the situation, though it seemed to be more complicated that just the simple fact of what was happening at that moment.

"We really don't have to do this, Ai."

Amakusa Jin's voice echoed in the silent room. A man in the same age as Admiral Tendouji, he was quite tall. His facial hair clearly shaved, his appearance looked like your ordinary salaryman you can find walking by the streets of Tokyo at night after hard day's work. From her position, it was hard for Asashio to see Admiral Tendouji's expression, but she thought she could hear a smile in her reply. She answered with a melodious dialect.

"It seems we have to though."

An exasperated sigh escaped the man's mouth.

"We can work it out. Relationship is about compromise."

"Well, it seems you are the one who should learn of compromise."

Admiral Tendouji hold her bokken with both hand, settling into a kata.

"Spare me the argumentation. I don't wanna have some meaningless argument in front of my family."

The man sighed. He eased a smile.

"You never won against me in the past, Airi."

There was a brief pause, and when she answered, there was a smile in her voice.

"Then lets see what happens now."

XXX

It all began with a dinner. Shiori came home, they had dinner, everything was well. Then Okaasama came home. She stood by the dining room wearing elaborate kimono as she usually did, calling her name.

"Ai-chan."

How many years had it been since anyone called her that way. Being the eldest and also most revered person in her years thanks to her birth, the only ones who would call her with loving gestures was her mother. Only to her mother, Airi could become a child. Her gentle smile, her hug, everything about her did not change—other than the greying hair and the gentle wisp of wrinkles by the side of her eyes that got deeper. When she cupped Airi's face, though, Airi knew that her mother understood everything right away. It would be their old argument all over again.

Or rather, the old argument between Airi and her father all over again.

She did not say anything and just kissed her daughter's cheek.

"Ara, who is this?"

After a brief moment of looking into each other's eyes, her mother realized the presence of Asashio.

"G-Good evening!" Asashio bowed deeply, obvious nervousness in her movement. It was understandable. If Airi was her mother... "I am Asashio, nameship of Asashio class destroyer. I'm escorting Admiral Tendouji on her visit. I am pleased to-"

"She is my daughter, the one in the letter. I bring her here to meet everyone."

Half-cutting Asashio's greetings, Airi stood beside her daughter. She gently placed her hand by Asashio's shoulder, gently patting her head. Asashio was trembling and her face was red. This must have been a lot scarier to her than facing a Ta class by the horizon. It's okay, I am here. Perhaps the gesture did little to ease the little girl's worry, but at least she wanted to assure her that no matter what she would be there.

Okaasama's reaction, however, made Airi blinked.

Those familiar gentle light brown eyes softened. Without asking anything, Airi saw her mother lowered her body. She smiled gently and said, "So this is Asashio-chan. This is extremely delightful. Come here, let me see you closer, Asashio-chan. Don't be scared. Let Obaachan see you closer."

Perhaps her mother was the only one who actually read her letter. From the start she seemed to have known Asashio and expected her to be there. She had taken the wheel of calling herself the grandmother, sparing Asashio the need to identify and mull over how to call her. After a brief introduction between the two and when they were about to continue to have dinner, Otousama came.

He just stood there by the doorway with his black robe, folding his arms inside his sode. His black eyes seemed to fell on how his wife guided Asashio to the dining table. Shiori was the one calling him, attracting the attention to him. Asashio seemed to recognize him as she gasped, "Aa!" when Shiori called his name.

"Tousan."

His voice, deep yet dangerously soft voice, did not even reply Shiori.

"Yuuka. Airi. Follow me."

XXX

Asashio did not know what happened after Admiral's father called her. The three of them took an extremely long time talking, leaving Asashio only with Shiori-san. All that she knew, was that the Admiral came back looking extremely tired. She came back quite late, hours after dinner. Shiori who was left with Asashio, even asked if Asashio would like to sleep first, saying that when they talked they might forget time and may talk even until morning.

"It's useless waiting for them, maybe you should just sleep?"

Eventually Asashio waited in the Admiral's bedroom, since she felt Shiori must be tired after all her class. Her aunt actually offered to wait with her, kindly saying that she enjoyed talking with Asashio, but there was no mistaking the tired look she had. She looked apologetic when they separated way as she went to her room. Shiori said something like, "Tousan is so insensitive like he always is." and sighed exasperatedly, but she did not say anything else other than "oyasumi". Asashio eventually sat looking at the garden again, facing the dimly lit middle garden. Somebody had lit up the old stone lantern marking the garden path. Usually now inside the stone lantern were lightbulb but in the Tendouji garden somehow they were still small fire inside the moss covered stone lantern. Asashio did not associate fire and night well, since it reminded her of burning ammunition rack during night battle. However, the silent night and the overall ambiance of the house calmed Asashio down.

Her mind wandered to that man, Admiral Tendouji's father. The one she met by the stone garden. Their conversation was nothing like introduction. Asashio remembered how she had not properly introduced herself. She also remembered how that man had not tell her his name. Perhaps she should have known that he was Admiral Tendouji's father right away? Was he mad? Why was he called Admiral Tendouji and her mother away from the dining room?

There were so many question and Asashio could hear her heartbeat loud and clear.

… Was her being there unfavorable? Did Admiral Tendouji's father not like her being there?

Admiral Tendouji's mother welcomed her though. Grandmother, she said... but was it possible that her grandfather did not like her at all...?

"... but I don't think that will be good."

"He will understand eventually, Ai-chan, your father is not at all against it."

"I don't know what to think anymore."

Asashio straightened her sitting, hearing the hushed talk beyond the door. Having acute hearing at times was not favorable. It made her able to hear conversation like these, things that she would not like to hear.

Against what? Was it about her?

Perhaps this concerned her, but Asashio did not want to break the Admiral's privacy. The door slid open and Admiral Tendouji walked in. Behind her was Tendouji Yuuka. Her face looked really serene despite whatever they might have gone through. She smiled at Asashio, a gentle glow in her eyes.

"Oh, you're really here," Admiral Tendouji smiled the moment she saw Asashio, who quickly stood up and walked closer to them—close enough so that the admiral could gently brush her head. "I am sorry, we took a long time, didn't we."

Asashio shook her head, which made Admiral Tendouji smiled.

"Liar."

Her voice had so much love in them, that Asashio felt that warm feeling again. With a gentle push on the shoulder, Asashio found herself within the older woman's embrace again. Still having her arm over Asashio's shoulder, Admiral Tendouji turned to look at her mother, who stood near her. Asashio bowed at her slightly, and Yuuka-san smiled.

She pat Asashio's cheek gently.

"I am so sorry, I wanted to have more time talking with you too," She said gently. Her voice was so soft, the dialect came up in gentle melodies. "Ai-chan talked a lot about you in much of her letters, I have been wanting to meet you for a long time. I am sorry that it was cut short like that. Jiisan is pretty busy so we can't really say no when he wants to talk, I hope you understand."

Jii-san. Grandfather.

Asashio nodded quietly, but she still had that feeling whenever she remembered that man. Although Yuuka-san clearly accepted her into the family, she did not know what to think of Tendouji Hiroshi's attitude at her. When they met at the stone garden, he did not give any kind of animosity, yet he did not exactly accept her either. He also did not exactly look at her when he called for his wife and eldest daughter. That said, that time he did not regard Shiori as well. Being a priest, is it normal to be so distant to your own family. Asashio did not know what to think. She did not exactly have any kind of memory of father either since she was not made that way, thus everything was quite foreign for her. It seemed however, both her mother and her grandmother did not think that what he did was favorable.

"Tomorrow will be long, you better sleep fast I guess, it's pretty late," Yuuka-san looked into the small alarm clock by the Admiral's low table. She turned at Asashio again and smiled. "Ai-chan said both you will be here for quite long, right? I am sure we can find time... ah no, lets make sure we will have time to leisurely talk. Do you like cooking, Asashio-chan?"

"Yes, I do, very much!" the answer came up really fast, and bright. Yuuka-san's smile turned wider. She pat the destroyer again.

"Then lets cook together, I will teach you some dish."

The idea was extremely exciting. Asashio loved cooking, especially with someone. The last two days she found cooking to be extremely enjoyable and relaxing, and there was this connection with the one she cooked with that she found as really heartwarming. With Asashio still beaming, Yuuka-san finally went out of the room with a gentle, "Oyasumi.". The Admiral watched her mother go then turned to Asashio, smiling upon seeing the beaming look Asashio had.

"Okaasama seems to like you very much."

"She looks and sounds like you, Okaasan."

Admiral Tendouji laughed heartedly.

"She is my mother. Of course she is."

Mother. Asashio just now realized she did not share such "certain" thing with her mother. They did not look alike since they did not exactly share the same DNA. The fact turned solid with her mother's words but Asashio did not have the courage to voice it.

Her mother loved her though and that much was evident. For now that was the only thing Asashio wanted to remember and the only thing that mattered.

Admiral Tendouji sighed. Asashio tilted her head.

"Okaasan?"

Suddenly Asashio was worried if Yuuka-san did not actually like her, with that sigh. Her mother smiled and shook her head.

"Nothing. I just hope you have more time to talk with Otousama."

Asashio did not have words about that. She did not even know what to think of the man. She did not like to think badly of him, and for truth, there was nothing that actually directly bad from him. His smile during their conversation was welcoming, at least she felt that way. He also did not give out animosity, Asashio did not feel any kind of bad feeling from him. Yet, all that he did were way too puzzling.

Admiral suddenly went "ah." like she remembered something.

"You seem to recognize him, though," Admiral Tendouji raised her eyebrows. "Have you met him somewhere?"

Asashio finally told her about what happened at the stone garden, while they sat on facing the garden. Her mother's face looked uncertain. She furrowed her eyebrows, thinking. Asashio sat beside her mother, watching the change on her expression. Perhaps it really was not that common to happen?

"... I really don't understand," Admiral finally said, sighing. She looked sad more than disappointed. "I really don't understand him at all this time."

"Is it bad?"

"I... somehow don't think so," Admiral smiled. Asashio watched her. She might only say that just to make Asashio feel better. She still looked sad. Was it because she suspected her father to not accept Asashio? Perhaps Asashio answered wrong? But Admiral did not say that. She gently put her hand on Asashio's head. "My father may be hard to understand, but he is kinder than most people. I don't think what he did means bad. We just don't understand him yet."

Kinder than most people. Asashio did not know what to take of those words... and for once, she did not exactly trust her Admiral's words.

XXX

The next day, during breakfast, Yuuka-san said that Hiroshi-san called for Admiral again. Hearing the words during breakfast, Shiori-san sighed loudly as she stirred her coffee.

Yuuka-san furrowed her eyebrows.

"Shiichan. That is impolite."

"Tousan should sit here with everyone," Shiori-san said while pouting. Somehow with both the Admiral and her mother present, she looks younger and now Asashio understood that she was the youngest of the three siblings. Somehow with her mother here, her previous rather submissive behavior turned a lot more demanding... and have a rather spoiled egotistical tone of youngest child. "Tousan is being annoying again."

"There are new disciples in, he has to supervise them."

"We have new family member in though, is that less important."

"Of course not," Yuuka-san answered it fast, now her expression really changed into slightly upset. Merely watching the exchange, Admiral Tendouji eventually divert her eyes elsewhere. "Don't say it that way. You're giving wrong messages to Asashio-chan."

"It's not really my fault, though," The youngest of the three sibling stopped stirring her coffee. "He is the one who gives wrong message from the start. Not even introducing himself properly yesterday night, is that proper manner."

"Shiori," now the Admiral was the one with a rather forceful tone. With her older sister also warning her, Shiori-san looked up and turned to straight at her sister. It was clear she had a lot to say.

"Tousan already made a lot of trouble for Niisan and now he is doing that to Oneechan too," Her words came out fast and sharp. "Is the temple more important than this family? He doesn't even show his face lately for meal. That is not a good manner to show to a new family member."

"Things are not going well with the temple and the main family lately," Yuuka-san said gently. "You should understand. Ai-chan hasn't been home for a long time, of course he did not purposely to trouble her."

"Oneechan is simply too kind," Shiori's lips turned into a tight line of disapproval. She turned to look at her coffee again. "I will make sure he hears everything when he comes back."

With that, Shiori did not say anything else and just sipped her coffee. Asashio quietly ate her sunny side up egg, feeling how the bright atmosphere turned somber fast. Shiori-san's rather bold expression of disagreement shocked Asashio to a degree. She did seem upset with how things turned out since dinner, but she had always been bright when Asashio was around. This was the first time for Asashio to hear her openly said that she was upset, it was also in quite a bold stance. Suddenly a hand gently brushed her head. Asashio looked beside her, finding her mother smiled apologetically at her. Ah, that was true. Maybe the one who was most burdened with this situation was her mother. Asashio had no idea what Admiral had to do with her priest father, but it was clear she had a lot to finish.

Before Asashio had the chance to say anything, her mother already moved her eyes to her little sister.

"Shiori, you're free today, right? It's Saturday."

Hearing her sister's question, the younger woman nodded. Her previous sour face was gone like what happened a while ago did not exist. When it was about her sister or brother, it seemed Shiori-san turned really soft and loving, but when it was about her father, she turned irritable. In a way, Asashio understood why.

"Do you need help?"

"Yeah, I want you to take Asashio around Kyoto for today."

"Eh?" Asashio quickly looked up to her mother, who still had one of her hand brushing her head. Shiori-san smiled and nodded.

"Sure, I don't mind at all," She said, smiling. "Where do you want me to take her?"

XXX

"I am really sorry I can't take you around."

"I understand, Okaasan, it's okay."

Admiral Tendouji smiled, straightening the white vest of her daughter's uniform. Her smile seemed sad somehow. She might have wanted to take her around herself. That, or the matter with her father saddened her very much.

"If you need anything, ask Shiori, okay?"

"Yes, Okaasan."

"And I mean everything," She leveled her head with Asashio and put both hands on Asashio's cheeks, smiling. "If you WANT anything, tell her. The matcha ice cream in kinkakuji taste amazing, and you have the daifuku and mochi around the city. The flea market is awesome as well. If you have anything, and I mean it, ANYTHING you want, tell her, okay?"

Her emphasis made Asashio smiled. She nodded and said, "Yes, Okaasan. I will search for trinkets to bring home for the other destroyers as well."

Admiral Tendouji gave a rather relieved smile at her reply. She nodded firmly.

"Yes, find a lot of good stuff around and have fun, okay?"

"Yes."

"Good girl."

The Admiral gave a light peck on her forehead. Her overprotective mother, even for small things like this she felt guilty for the smallest thing beyond her help.

"Ah, wait, I have something for you."

Admiral Tendouji went to one of her shelves, then took out a small silky fabric bag. She opened the knot on top then showed Asashio what seemed to be an old camera. It was black, with a rather protruding lens. Asashio had never seen a camera like that. Some of the privates at times take pictures of them for identification but none are like the one Admiral Tendouji was carrying.

"You can take pictures with this and the film will come out right away."

"Eh?"

"Come, come, let me show you."

Suddenly all chirpy, she set something on the camera then carefully placed it on one of the shelves. After telling Asashio to position herself, she pushed the shutter button then ran to her daughter's side. Circling a hand around her daughter's shoulder, she posed.

Snap.

With a blinding light of the blitz, the camera took their picture. Right away, a small, rectangular film came out of its lower opening. Her mother took it, wave it a bit, then showed it to Asashio as it slowly developed while being exposed to the air.

Standing by the middle of the room together, with their bodies pushed to each other, there was her and Admiral Tendouji. She looked nervous, looking at the camera with uncertain expression, but the Admiral was smiling brightly, having one hand over Asashio's shoulder. With her not wearing the uniform, feeling of familiarity just wafted through the photo. The first ever photo she had ever received. She had never had in her hand her own photo made by the privates so this was her very first... and it was with her beloved Admiral, mother, family. Somehow Asashio felt like a part of her was transferred over, etched in the developing photo. Both a part of her and a part of her Admiral. Her Admiral, her mother, had her usual smile in that photo, the smile she gave whenever they met.

She looked up at her mother.

"Is this..."

"For you," Her mother said gently. She pushed the camera to Asashio's chest. "The photo and the camera. There are some films left and I think I have several more rolls in the shelf. Let me..."

"No, wait, Okaasan, you give me a camera?"

It must have costed a lot, not to mention it was an instant developing camera. Wealthy as she was, it still must have been a really important item. Seeing her daughter's hesitation, the Admiral smiled and pushed it closer to her daughter's chest.

"I won't use it much, you will have more use of it than me."

She pat Asashio's head.

"But..."

"Take a lot of memories, okay?" Somehow her voice dropped into her slightly authoritative tone. She put her hand on Asashio's camera holding fingers. Her smile turned gentler. "Show me and tell me about it later. I want to hear your story."

Your mission is to report to me the result of your observation.

Whilst differing her choice of words, the voice still sound the same and it rang close in Asashio's habitual conscience. Yet, it did not lose its warmth. Perhaps being (or having, for Asashio's case) a mother and a kanmusu base admiral were not that different after all.

XXX

"Admiraaaaaaal~~~ Admiraaaaaaal~~"

I-9 ran after Admiral Kudou. Unlike usual she was well dressed with a dress and shorts, not just in her swimwear. Wearing full clothes like this was quite foreign for her. Anything for her Admiral, though, who is currently walking in rather fast pace towards stairs that leads to a platform over a railroad to another side. Admiral Kudou stopped his steps and looked behind, finding his submarine running in light steps to his side hurriedly. He smiled, taking Iku's hand when she was close enough.

"Sorry, was I too fast?"

"You were!" Iku tugged her Admiral's hand rather forcefully, pouting. The man laughed at her reaction, then patted her head fondly. "Iku is not used to trains~~ Iku will tell Imuya that Admiral is being neglectful today!"

"Oh, please no," Admiral Kudou continued walking, slower this time, and he properly took Iku's hand. "Imuya will definitely lecture me."

Walking up the stairs, Admiral Kudou gently guided his submarine. Having a submarine like Iku and Goya felt like having two little girls that will constantly call you. Iku especially seemed to find it really fun to keep calling his name. Admiral Kudou did not mind. Imuya once said how he was the kind that loved to take care of people. Thus was among the reason why he got along well with all of the submarines. Even the rather sensible, calm Shioi would definitely open up when it was Admiral Kudou in question. He took things with bright personality as well. Even in really grave situation he always had a solution to mitigate damage or solve it, or at least reassured them that everything would be alright.

Iku peered at her admiral. Even if she was asked if she would like to accompany him, he did not exactly tell her what they would be doing.

"Where are we going, Admiral? You don't wear your uniform today."

"Ah, we're going for a walk."

"A walk?" Iku tilted her head. Admiral Kudou smiled and patted her head. "We're gonna have a vacation?"

"You don't walk around the mainland often, don't you? I've taken Imuya and the others around once in a while but I remember I haven't taken you anywhere."

"So a day with just you?"

"Yes," Admiral Kudou laughed. Iku let out a really bright "Iku is happy!". "Although... we might visit a partner along the way."

"Partner?" Iku blinked. "From the navy?"

"From the navy," He smiled. Looking out through the platform window, he watched the mountain they would be passing on the way. "I heard she's having a rough time. I think we should give her some kind of support."

XXX

"I won't go for omiai," Airi said exasperatedly. Okaasama who walked beside her gave a rather sad look. "How many times should I tell Otousama about it."

This was drawing longer than what she expected. Last night she had been having argument with her father, about an arrangement to meet with Amakusa family then about her job. Her father had always been against her in the navy but it has never been this frontal. It worried her, since it also coincides with Airi bringing Asashio home to introduce her to her family. She had been saying in her letter how Asashio was like a daughter for her, and she loved her and her other ships dearly, and she wished for her parents' understanding about her current position and how she would like to continue with both her life and career. Her mother respected her decision, it was apparent from her reaction towards Asashio. However her father... his disagreement just got even louder instead.

Another hour of sitting in front of her father in seiza, talking about this issue that should not have become so complicated.

Yet, the conversation he did with Asashio, as told by the ship, did not appear at all that negative... In fact Airi now did not know what to think about her father's conduct.

Her father had always been hard to understand and he was bad with words, but this time Airi really was approaching her breaking point. She had always, always, took on her father's good side, always understanding his meaning, but now she could not see at all other that her father being extremely forceful.

Taking a deep breath, Airi grabbed the handle of the door leading to the dojo of her temple. Dojo had always been a place of hardship for Airi during her childhood and thus, somehow having a conversation there made her body felt even more anxious than ever. Was it her father's doing, purposely choosing a place where he knew Airi would be in her weakest emotional state? She did not know. She had been extremely courteous with her father along the way but now she was afraid she would eventually blow up like her little brother did... which she did not want to happen. She had never done it before and she did not want to.

The distance she took, away from her family at the time she chose to get out of the house years ago, she did not wish to make it grow even further.

Until she was 7 years old, she was an only child and was raised as one. Being the "only child" of the second in line of Tendouji house, she was expected to be many things. When she was 4 she was already being taken to the dojo. At 5 she was already accustomed to the whole interior of the temple and memorized every history by its nook and cranny. At that age she was already taught the different arts of the temple, from meditation to kenjutsu. She remembered a small foam sword, the one you can buy at matsuri. She remembered swinging it numerous time, and getting hit by it numerous times. She remembered hard hit by the shoulder, when she did not manage to meditate properly even when she was a child. She remembered the long-winding scripture she had to read, the sermons she sat through.

However that time, although it was harsh, she never thought of it as a burden. It was just how it was, how it was supposed to be. In that age, she did not exactly understand what a Tendouji means, but everyone acted like it was the most important thing in the world when it came to her. But for her, it wasn't. Lately she realized it.

Her family was important, but not the Tendouji.

XXX

Rrrrrrrrr...

Humming sound of tiny machine came out of the camera as a small rectangular photo came out. The sound was somewhat akin to the hum of when Asashio used her equipment. Somehow it made her felt at home. Perhaps all machine made the same kind of sound. Shiori-san peered from her shoulder. The film developed, showing Kinkakuji, along with the momiji and the lake where it stood.

"That's really good, Asashio-chan, you're talented in this!"

"T-thank you very much."

Face reddening, Asashio bashfully looked down at her produced photo. One roll only had 11 film so she had to carefully took each shot. Her mother gave her 4 new rolls however, which was a lot, but Asashio wanted to make sure she took every single place. Shiori-san was incredibly patient, seemingly enjoying watching Asashio trying to take her shots. The destroyer thought her shots was okay but Shiori-san praised her very much, saying it was really good. Shiori-san said that the first time she tried to take pictures, she missed all of her family's faces. Perhaps Asashio was just naturally good at taking angle, just like looking into her monocular for enemies and aiming for her bullets. At least, that was the only explanation of what she felt when she peeked through the viewfinder.

"Over this path, we will get to the charm stands, then the ice cream stand. Lets have the ice cream over there shall we?"

"Yes!"

Walking the path around the golden pavillion, then passing several shrine and "power spots"-which were really interesting that Asashio could not have but take a snap at one of them, they arrived at the merchandise stalls. It was Saturday so there were a lot of people. Shiori-san waited behind as Asashio lined up, a really serene look in her face. It seemed as if she was so used to the whole situation, it was like everyday occurrence for her. For Asashio however, having this many civillians around her made her nervous.

"My friends from other cities will definitely visit this kind of place as well, I have been here many times," She said, when she saw Asashio bought several trinkets for the destroyers. Shigure would definitely love the Kinkakuji banner. "If you live around here, you kinda get used to these kind of things."

The ice cream stall actually had other stuff like oden. It was still too hot for oden so they settle for ice cream, sitting and enjoying the matcha ice cream special like what Admiral Tendouji suggested to them.

There were so many people... but Shiori-san's presence was calming. Asashio found it quite surprising, at how calm she could feel even when Admiral Tendouji was not around. Or perhaps the feeling that the Admiral was within her reach, in the same city, calmed her down in a way. Or perhaps because Shiori-san's aura felt a lot like her sister. Shiori-san also sound a lot like her sister, at times Asashio found it quite strange hearing that almost same voice talking in melodious dialect to her. Perhaps if Admiral Tendouji were to talk to her in dialect it would sound the same. Both women were gentle, kind soul, with Shiori being slightly brighter and vibrant while her sister was calmer and more of a teaser.

Licking her ice cream and feeling quite light with all the rather bright and chirpy atmosphere around her, Asashio asked.

"Are you not in a good term with your father?"

It would be later when Asashio would realize that the question was extremely personal and may even be rude. Shiori-san, however, that time answered it extremely lightly that Asashio did not feel it at all.

"Not exactly. It's the usual. Tousan is always strange and I am always like this."

"But you seem.. to want to have a fight with him if you meet him."

Shiori-san laughed. She gently patted Asashio's head, grinning.

"If you're talking about what I said during breakfast, no, that isn't fighting, really," she said lightly. "I mean, that just how family is. You kinda say whatever you want, don't you think? Like, no matter what you say, it won't destroy your bonds. So you just feel comfortable to just spout everything. Oneechan told me that once, and I guess that is extremely true. I will say anything to Oneechan or Okaasan or Tousan... things that I wouldn't say to friends in fear they will hate me. With them, I think I have no such fear. They will still be my family no matter how I criticize them."

Asashio blinked. She tilted her head.

"Because you are doing good with each other, that is why you complain?"

"Yeah, like that," Shiori licked her ice cream, facing the ice cream stall again. "Tousan is annoying, can be hard-headed, and all of those troublesome thing, but Tousan will never get mad. Somehow, Tousan is very much like Oneechan. They do things they think are the best without explaining and they rarely ever get mad if they get protest and complaints. They think too much that they don't have time to get mad. Seriously."

Admiral Tendouji was never mad, that was true. She would always ask for everyone's opinion and always listened intently. Several times she did things without telling everyone, like during the time she put performance recording device in all of their equipment. She was rarely upset with anyone, and rarely, if ever, be mad to anyone. Asashio tried to remember the look of Admiral's father—his sharp analytical black eyes, his impenetrable expression, his smile, and rather thin presence. Somehow she could see the link between them now.

"That said..."

Shiori stopped for a while, then she puckered her mouth.

"This time it's kinda strange," She said slowly. "Between the three of us siblings, Oneechan is someone closest with Tousan actually. They click so well that even when Oniichan and I were annoyed at Tousan, she was always the one who reads what he did. She was always the one on his side. Her and Kaasan. This kind of thing have never happened before."

Asashio bit her lips. That was why her Admiral was so upset and troubled. Perhaps that was also why she looked extremely sad last night.

"... I really don't understand. I really don't understand him at all this time."

Shiori turned to look at Asashio. She gave the destroyer a pat, which made Asashio blushed. A pat from someone else other than her Admiral and Lieutenant Kouseki. A familiar, gentle one at that as well.

"Tousan, even if he is hard-headed and can be really strange, usually really means like what Oneechan said, though. Like, he always means well even if at times we don't favor his ways."

The women stopped for a while, then chuckled. She looked back at the sky, a distant look in her eyes.

"Now that we talk about it like this... I don't know if I should have just trusted him and waited for things instead of complaining to him right away. Huuuuuuuhh... strange, eh."

There seemed to be a lot of things about a family. Because you are so close to each other, you say everything. But that is also the reason you clash a lot with each other. However even so, you still feel comfortable to say everything because you know that won't change your relationship with each other, being a family. Perhaps it was that sense of closeness and familiarity that she saw between Admiral and Shiori-san. Admiral teased her to the point of her little sister pouting, her little sister said everything she wanted to say, and they shared personal space without a second thought if the other person will get mad at it. They were comfortable with proximity, familiar with proximity, and just accepted each other's presence. Asashio looked down at the remaining ice cream in her hand.

"Tell me everything. If you're uncomfortable, if anything makes you sad or upset..."

Asashio realized those were her ways of trying to get closer to be a real family. Asashio just realized she had been the one drawing away from her Admiral, the one pushing her away from "family". Even if she loved her very much, so very much to the point of crying, she did not trust her love enough to believe that no matter what she did or say, her Admiral would still love her like a mother would.

Asashio unconsciously gripped her ice cream cone tighter.

"Asashio-chan too, if you have anything you want to say, just say it, okay?"

Shiori-san's voice broke her from her thoughts. Her eyes shone with a gentle glow, and it seemed as if she read everything Asashio was thinking. Her smile looked very much like her sister, and it suddenly felt like the Admiral was there, placing her words on top of her sister's.

"Don't keep things alone, okay? We're family after all."

Shiori-san placed a hand on her head and gently brushed her hair.

XXX

"Your swing lack will."

Airi had not a single idea what the hell was the point of all of this.

"You lack focus."

The katana in her hand swung in two smooth slices. But they didn't sing and she knew it. She knew how bad her movement was, but she could not help but be confused.

"Airi."

Airi closed her eyes, taking deep breath. She did the movement she knew by heart and body: flicking her katana to swish blood off the blade, then sheathed the sword smoothly into the scabbard again. Her father sat by one side of the room, watching her closely as she performed several iaido kata. With his call, he forcefully ended her rituals. Settling to a seating position, katana placed horizontally in front of her with a movement she knew very well, Airi took a deep breath and faced her father.

All she could see in him was disapproval. He was judging her for something yet she did not understand what for. She thought that today he would talk her to accept the engagement with Amakusa family again like last night but she was utterly wrong. He did not ask any of those and he also asked his wife to leave both of them alone and told her to change into her gi.

Like they used to, when Airi was small. A private lesson with her father.

Iaido and kenjutsu were part of arts Tendouji family passed down to their generation. With spiritual and mental conscience being closely linked with the art, in a way both arts were meditation, in motion. There were meaning in every iaido kata, meaning in every swing. There were both intensity and calm in its movements and practiced, calculated stances. Airi understood that what she just did was awful, very much. In the past she was much calmer, much precise, much more focused. Now, she knew exactly that her exasperation and frustration came out in her swings.

How could it not, when she was still filled with confusion with what her father did and asked her to do. How could it not when she had two dozens problems to finish and her father instead turned everything murkier with whatever he did. She did not understand.

"Follow me."

Bowing with a movement she knew by heart, Airi complied to his father's request. She knew where he would be taking her next. This used to be engraved in her body and mind.

The stone garden.

Why, Otousama?

He would told her to meditate.

What do you want to say to me?

In the past, when she was still little, all of these were etched in her daily lives. She did not exactly share the religious belief of her family, which her parents saw through, but she let its value seeped into her. The art of tea ceremony both parents taught her, the martial arts her father directly passed to her, the ikebana her mother taught her in between her hectic schedule, the calm of meditation, the philosophy, she found them to be something that calm her often turbulent heart. She enjoyed the calm everything gave her. She enjoyed the simplicity, the serenity, and the beauty of kindness.

Yet, now, facing the same schedule like she did in her childhood, something that she left behind years ago, made her uneasy instead. There were many things she understood as she got older—Things which made her disliked what she previously thought as "normal" as she began to see the irony of her birth.

Drilled by numerous arts and rituals, she was expected to embodied them perfectly to continue the line of Tendouji. At the very least her children would learn the same philosophy and spiritual belief even if their surname would have been contended by her spouse's surname. There was a very big chance that her husband would be taken into the household and be the one to inherit the temple and thus continue the line of priests. When she was small, those words sound like a far-off fairytale but since she knew it would ease her mother and father that she loved dearly, she took it willingly.

However, Shouhei was born when Airi was 7. Being male, Shouhei would be the first in line to inherit the temple. At that very moment, the spotlight moved to Shouhei... even if Airi was still subject to every single draining rituals. However, no matter if she did good or bad or perfect or practically nothing, no one expected anything from her anymore. She did not want her previous spotlight, she even hated it, however, she learned that for Tendouji big family, she was now practically non-existent. For her, that was fine. She did not expect that spotlight anyway, she found her place to be more breathable. However, having that sense of responsibility she got from her father, she understood that now it fell to her as well to educate her little brother. At least, she took it upon herself. She learned however, that Shouhei had no interest in it as they got older. At first she would still push him to lesson, but she eventually learned that something as natural as interest was not something to push onto someone. Loving her brother more than any kind of "responsibility" from the family that did not even think she existed, Airi started to side with her brother. The main family's push on Shouhei began to irk her. It was during that time, when her view started to differ with her father. As she got older, she also understood why people either want to use her or stab her behind her back. It was the very same surname, the one which also discard her existence and push responsibility on her brother who did not ask for it. She realized that since her birth, she was never seen as herself, but as the image of her family by everyone around her. She understood now why only Kanon stayed by her side. Only Kanon did not expect anything out of her. Only Kanon did not push on the image of her family onto her.

Navy was her escape.

A wooden stick hit her hard on her right shoulder, making her winced in pain.

"Focus."

Was he mad at her? After years, was he finally had it and mad at her and openly show it?

"Airi."

"Yes," She replied, swallowing back her pain. "I am sorry, Otousama."

She used to call him "Tou-chan"... They used to be very close.

It was her who took all the decision that drift them apart.

XXX

Kasha!

Asashio distanced her eyes from the viewfinder then peered to look at a developing photo slowly going out of the opening on the lower front side of the camera. Shiori-san stood beside her, a ghost of a smile on her face as she looked at the famous long row of red torii of Fushimi Inari. Asashio rummaged into the small pocket her mother gave as she gave her the camera, feeling only one more roll of film left. She used up the film way too fast... But she could not help it. Everything was so new to her and the place was so grand. It seemed the whole city had an air of its own. It was also very much different from Aoya. At some places it was so vibrant and colorful, another place so calm and tranquil. The contrast had an appeal of its own, like inside the cacophony you can always find silence. Somehow, she found that a lot alike with her mother...

"Just like Neechan, you really do take good pictures."

"Thank you!" Asashio looked up, to Shiori-san's face who peered at her picture just now. What made her happy the most was not exactly the compliment, but her "just like Neechan" comment. Being told to have similarity with her mother made her extremely elated. Shiori-san smiled, putting on hand on Asashio's shoulder.

"Lets get you more film so you can take more picture, shall we?"

"Eh?"

"You only have one more roll, right?"

"How... b-but..."

Shiori-san winked, patting Asashio's shoulder. After that she continued walking. Feeling both puzzled and touched, Asashio half-ran after Shiori-san. This family, somehow Asashio felt like they all had the ability to read minds. They also seemed to enjoy seeing people trying to figure out their way of thinking instead of explaining themselves, although they would if they were asked—at least in case of Admiral Tendouji. Perhaps this trait is inherited or something.

Asashio took a deep breath at the base of the stairs leading to the honden, finding a really good curve for a picture. Half-loathing herself how she could just NOT raise the viewfinder to her eye, she tried to get the right angle.

It was at that moment where she felt like she saw a familiar face, passing her by. Someone dragged by a girl in dress.

Asashio stopped her movement then looked behind her.

"... Admiral... Kudou?"

The man who passed her stopped his steps despite the tugging of his company, as if hearing her voice. He looked beyond his shoulder, still tugged by the little one, and Asashio's jaw dropped.

Familiar grey eyes shone upon seeing the destroyer. A smile clearly visible under his tidy, short black moustache and goatee. Before he even said anything, the girl with him stopped tugging at his sleeve and looked beyond the man's body.

Asashio immediately recognized the girl, just like she recognized her.

"Asashio!"

"Iku?"

Was it coincidence... or intentional incident, Asashio could not think since Iku suddenly jumped towards her and gave her a cheerful, tight hug.

XXX

Airi drank a cup of water in one gulp then gave a long sigh. The air felt hot around her now, when it was quite chilly this morning. It must be because of her previous rigorous movement. Her arm felt sore and heavy after all the swinging under her father's watchful eyes. Real Katana is heavy. Its length also contributed to it, as balancing it to remain straight and steady was already a task of its own. Swinging it in the right way and angle, was another mountain. Again, her sword did not sing satisfactorily. Katana made whistling sound as they were swung. Too stiff, or too reckless, then that familiar swish of the sword wouldn't come out. Her swing was sloppy, even Airi knew it. Her father was sitting while closing his eyes, perhaps meditating. His feature, as always, looked as if there was no ripple in his heart. Or perhaps he was just really good at hiding it. Just like his daughter.

Airi slowly took another cup then filled it with water. She took both cup to her father's place.

"Otousama, here."

Offering the water directly to him made him opened his eyes. His black eyes swept Airi's face for a second, which somehow felt like she was being scanned. His voice was soft, a contrast to his earlier stone-hard words.

"Thank you."

Perhaps this would be the only normal conversation they would have with each other for the day. Sitting a bit apart from her father, Airi sipped her water slowly. By the window, the leaves whispered. The bird chirps had considerably lessened and Airi noticed how the shadow had shifted to the other side. It must be over midday. In a room with no clock and practically devoid of any activities except theirs, it felt as if time flowed differently. With her katana beside her, Airi closed her eyes. Steadying her breathing.

"... Your movement turned worse than ever."

Airi opened her eyes again, turning to look at her father. He was talking with his eyes closed, perhaps reimagining his daughter's previous movement.

"Even worse than when you were ten."

"I apologize, Otousama," Facing her father properly, Airi bowed deeply in her seated position. "I admit I haven't been practicing recently."

"It is not your practice."

He finally opened his eyes, which moved to his daughter. The black eyes were, as always, impenetrable.

"Your heart is shaking. You have too many worldly problem in your heart."

"... I am sorry, Otousama."

Still bowing, Airi closed her eyes. She had no excuse for that.

"... Being in military will only make the turbulent worse."

"Like you do at the moment."

She could not hold her tongue. She could feel her father's eyes digging on her back, cold, stinging. Slowly, Airi straightened up and face those eyes properly.

"You are uneasy and disturbed. Your steps lack certainty and your vision is clouded. You still want to say that worldly desire that you wish for is good?"

Worldly desire? Airi balled her hands into fists.

"Otousama, I have reasons. It isn't simply career..."

"Military is problematic. It would only create ripple in your life."

He had said that before, years ago when she decided to take navy. That time, those were the only things he said and after that he went out of the room, not listening to the explanation which she said to her mother.

"You are losing control of your emotion," The black eyes searched Airi's face. Airi bit her bottom lips. "Your letters were clouded with worries and uncertainties. You are spiraling out of control, you are driven by your emotion and that cloud your judgment. Trouble, is all you sought after in your navy career. Taking that ship as your daughter is an even worse decision you had taken."

At that moment, Airi felt something in her snapped. Her fist curled tighter, so much it was painful. She looked down, to the hardwood flooring she knew so well.

"Her presence will only create even more pain. It already happens even now."

Airi closed her eyes, biting her lower lips to hold herself.

"She is not human, Airi."

That's it.

"Even so, I..."

The sound shoji door opening made both Airi and her father turned. Someone was standing by the door.

Airi blinked.

"... Shiori?"

Her little sister's face were red and she looked straight at her father with clear anger.

Shiori was supposed to be with Asashio. Why is she... here?

With Asashio.

No.

"You're awful, Tousan. You're the worst."

Asashio.

With that, not waiting for her father's permission Airi darted off the room.

XXX

She did not run. Surprisingly she did not. Perhaps she was too unprepared to hear what she had thought he would say. Perhaps it was the conscience that she should escort Shiori-san still. Or perhaps she simply was too emotional to do anything.

"Asashio."

Gentle hands cupped her face, trying to lift her face to look up, to meet the eyes of her Admiral. Somehow even with their proximity, she felt so far away. With her hands clenched tightly by her sides, Asashio looked up with her steady look.

Her vision, her Admiral, looked as if it were streamed off a screen. Like she was not even there. Even the sensation of her fingertips by her face felt artificial.

"Commander. Good afternoon, I have returned."

Pain visibly flashed by Admiral Tendouji's face upon hearing her greetings. It was her usual greetings, however. The one they exchanged at the base every time she returned.

Like they supposed to.

"I apologize to have disturbed your..."

"No, Sweetling, no."

Admiral Tendouji's thumb gently brushed her cheeks repeatedly... and it was the first time she realized that her face was wet.

"That is not... what I want to hear from you."

She felt a kiss on her forehead, but Asashio only let her eyes fell on the hardwood floor. Along with her gaze, her tears.

"Asashio, come, look at me, Sweetheart. Please."

She knew it was an order, but somehow she couldn't not at that time. She could feel her Admiral pulled her to a hug. She resisted. Her body did.

She was, and had always been, a ship. A ship did not deserve such thing.

Her Admiral finally just stayed in front of her, one hand on the destroyer's shoulder and the other on the cheek—gently brushing away the flowing tears without saying anything. Waiting. Asashio did not even know what she waited.

"... because that is not right!"

Shiroi-san's voice came out of the dojo, high and annoyed.

"Be there Asashio-chan or not at that door, to say that to Oneechan is not right! While never trying to understand Oneechan, you just spout things like that as you like, just like with Oniichan! You don't even spend time more than 10 minutes with us everyday, and you think you know what is best for all of us?"

There was no reply from Hiroshi-san.

"No matter how intelligent you are, Tousan, you can't just decide that off handedly like that! Especially when it is about our family!"

"Shiori."

Tendouji Hiroshi's voice came out deeper than usual, but Shiori ignored it completely.

"We're not children anymore, Tousan!"

"You clearly behave like one."

"Because you do right now!"

Deep sigh came from Admiral Tendouji. Deep, tired sigh. Asashio remembered the face she had behind the desk that day, when she asked Asashio to accompany her. She also remembered that time when they talked of her parents, or when she came back after that long while talking with her father.

Between the three of us siblings, Oneechan is someone closest with Tousan actually.

They click so well that even when Oniichan and I were annoyed at Tousan, she was always the one who reads what he did. She was always the one on his side.

... I don't understand. I really don't understand him at all this time.

"Shiori, I never teach you to raise your voice to your parents."

"You never teach me anything!"

Her Admiral's grip on her shoulder got stronger.

"You're never there! It was always Oneechan. You have never been much of a father, so don't pull these move like you're the only important person in this family!"

"Shiori, enough!"

Admiral Tendouji went inside the dojo, leaving Asashio alone. She must have been trying to stop Shiori-san. However for once, her sister's voice did not stop Shiori-san.

"I don't see what your problem is, seriously, because at the moment Oneechan and Asashio-chan are more of a family than you are to her! Saying that Asashio-chan is a mistake, is the worst thing that you could have ever said! Have you ever think that you are the real mistake, Tousan?"

"Shiori!"

Everything came to her like a far off projection, echoing in her head over and over. Her head felt so full, just as her heart felt like it would burst. She did not understand. Be it her brain, her heart, everything just felt like it made a standstill. What was right and what was wrong, she did not know anymore.

This family. Her, an outsider... Had she helped created this problem?

"Her presence will only create even more pain. It already happens even now."

She did... create more pain.

"She isn't human? So what? She is more human and display more love than you have ever been to any of us three in all these years!"

Shiori-san...

A hand gently pressed on Asashio's shoulder. A sensation. Again. Something that brought her back to reality.

Her brain still had not fully work, but it was enough that she could look up, at the person who gently put her hand on her shoulder. Light brown eyes answered her gaze, calm and serene, like an undisturbed lake. Perhaps she already suspected everything would happen. Despite all the harsh words of Shiori-san, all the sadness and pain Admiral Tendouji showed... Tendouji Yuuka remained calm and composed.

It felt as if that same serenity channeled to the destroyer by that hand on her shoulder. Asashio then understood why it was.

Trust.

I mean, that just how family is. You kinda say whatever you want, don't you think? Like, no matter what you say, it won't destroy your bonds. So you just feel comfortable to just spout everything.

Tousan, even if he is hard-headed and can be really strange, usually really means like what Oneechan said. Like, he always means well even if at times we don't favor his ways.

My father may be hard to understand, but he is kinder than most people. I don't think what he did means bad. We just don't understand him yet.

"Asashio-chan."

Her voice, so much akin like Admiral Tendouji, but mature and kind, with a gentleness that surpass even that off the Admiral. The certainty of years of living, years of experience, etched in her notes. The woman smiled, deepening the soft wrinkles by the side of her eyes.

"No child is ever a mistake."

She gave a press on Asashio's shoulder.

"No one is ever born a mistake."

"Admiral Tendouji Airi. Aoya base, Tottori. Nice to meet you too."

A long black haired woman smiled at her. She had kind brown eyes and gentle smile. Her ambience were soft... like a mother. At that very moment, Asashio knew she was connected to that person, she was the one who called her.

The Admiral extended her hand, for her to take before she jumped off the bed where she opened her eyes the first time.

"Come, Sweetling. Let's go home."

XXX

"... Excuse me."

It was but a small, trembling voice. However, Airi would recognize it right away no matter how soft. She grabbed Shiori's shoulder rather violently and shook her for a sec, trying to make her look back at the door and stop saying things to their father.

Asashio stood by the door way, hands clenched tightly by her sides, feet trembled, and lips curled and bitten in order to steady her own emotion. Looking at how she look broke Airi's heart into a million pieces, but she knew at that moment that destroyer was trying to overcome something. By her own.

It was not the time for Airi to "help" her.

Behind Asashio, was Okaasama, watching everything with calm, kind eyes.

"... I... I am Asashio... nameship of Asashio-class destroyer..."

The destroyer bowed deeply, deeper than she would to superior. Her voice trembled, but by saying the phrase she had repeat so many times, she seemed to be able to say it in a more steady voice. Her eyes, even if glassy, looked into Otousama straight and courageously.

Otousama's face, however, did not change.

"... I am the oldest of ten ships. I don't know where the rest of my sisters are at the moment, . If I see them, though, I will know they are my sisters. It has been in my pre-configured memories. Their faces, their personalities, their stories. I have them recorded. They are my family."

Her eyes moved to Admiral Tendouji.

"But... I have no memory of father or mother. At the moment I opened my eyes, the first person I saw was Commander Tendouji. I immediately know that she is the one who called me forth, who gave me life. Without her calling, I would not exist. I wonder if that is... equivalent to a mother will be."

Asashio dropped her eyes to the hardwood floor, unable to keep her steady gaze on Airi anymore. Airi recognized this gesture. Her shyness, uncertainty, yet at that same time she tried to break through.

"About how I am not human, I know that very well. I know that I am different. I know that I might only be a nuisance to everyone. I know that I might make things more complicated, that taking me might have been a mistake. I know that I will never be human. I know nothing of human world and I don't know... I don't... have the knowledge of how a family supposed to be, how to react, how to act... I know that I might not be accepted, or that my presence might have been unfavorable. I know, and I understand that very well..."

Taking deep breath, the destroyer continued.

"But, I... The moment... the m-moment Commander... No, Okaasan tell me that for her I am her daughter, was the happiest in my life. Cooking with Shiori-san and Yuuka-san, having dinner together, those are... for me those are new experiences, those are something I only heard of. For me they are a new warmth I never knew. I have no one but Okaasan... So I...I will try my best! I might not be much, I may be trouble, I don't understand many things, but I will try to learn how one become a family. I would like to believe that at least, loving Okaasan, is not a mistake..."

"Asashio-chan..." Shiori said under her breath. She must have been feeling extremely saddened by how things turned out as well, looking at the small destroyer that lowered her head for something that was not even her fault. She took a deep breath and turned towards her father, wanting to say something more, but Airi quickly caught her shoulder.

It was not a problem made by Shiori, nor by Asashio.

Airi smiled at her sister, then turned at her father.

They had been communicating well even without saying anything, but now Airi realized that rather than communicating, all they had done was compromising. They compromised yet never tried to understand each other. That was not how things... supposed to be.

"Otousama."

His black eyes moved to her eldest now, still impenetrable as they always were. Ah no, in the past they were much gentler. She remembered now. She remembered very well why for the young her, him and Okaasan were the most precious presence in her life.

"Otousama... I know your kindness, perhaps much more than Shouhei and Shiori," Airi closed her eyes, remembering vividly now, the days of her childhood. "Even if Okaasan is the one who taught me how to cook, the reason why I keep on cooking has always been because there is you who would always finish my cooking no matter how bad it tasted. You would stay up all night just to wait for us home, you would make sure every night that we slept well, you would even went out in mid-storm just to bring in the pot of flower I planted, even if you knew it might be too late. You have always, always been the one who cares and looks after us, who thinks of us more than anyone else."

"That happened?" Shiori's eyes widened in surprise. Airi smiled and nodded. They did not know. So many things happened when they were not yet born, or when they were too young to remember. Their silent, distant father rarely played with them after they were a bit older because of temple business, but Airi was old enough to know how he stayed up all night trying to find anti-mosquito to keep Shouhei asleep, or silently repair Shiori's favorite cuckoo clock. He never told anyone, especially not his children. Airi remembered now, her strongest memory of him: his back as he silently repaired the cuckoo clock, his back as he ran inside the storm, his back as he sat there watching a feverish Shouhei asleep, his back as he remade Airi's teruterubozu one night before her school trip. Even with fatigue leaden that broad back, Airi remembered how he always silently make sure all his children lived well.

"You are my role model," Airi continued. Those black eyes still remained unchanged. Otousan. "I have always, always wanted to be of use for you. Before Shouhei was born, I wanted to be someone you can be proud of. I want to be someone who can make you smile. However, no matter how I tried my hardest, I realized that I will never be able to inherit the temple. I will never be able to help the temple you most cherished. When Shouhei was born, in my heart I honestly felt that it's alright now. I was happy."

Yet.

"But I knew, after a while, that I have lost my place. The family did not need me anymore. No matter what I do now, I am of no use for the family. I then thought that, someone like me, won't be of use for you at all. I don't have any means to ease your burden. With everyone pushing the family's image on me while shooting down my meaning of birth, I turn to despise the main family... I then looked for a place far away from Tendouji house's influence. A place for me to be."

The tears had stopped flowing from Asashio's eyes now. Watching her struggling broke her heart, but seeing her able to get over such wall made her proud. Airi smiled at her daughter then back at her father.

Perhaps now, she finally understood what her father meant. With this feelings she had for her own daughter, perhaps now, she understood what her father meant.

"I think I understand, what you wish for me. For Asashio, I want the safest, most pain-free future that I can ever give her. That is all that I want to do, what I aim for. For me, you search for the best possible spouse you can think of, someone you trust the most. You arranged my marriage and you are worried with me being in military I will lead a life of uncertainty and insecurity. You are worried that I will face a lot of pain and ordeals, and thus you are against it."

Otousama closed his eyes. Airi could now see the deep wrinkles he had and how tired he looked. He had grown older. She was way too absorbed by her own troubles that she did not try to understand her own father's fatigue, or his trouble. They were only listening to respond, not to understand.

"However, Otousama, I am an adult now."

"Touchan! Touchan! Look!"

Six years old Airi showed her teruterubozu. The sun shone through the gap between the wooden panels of the small window of the main library. Familiar broad strong back of her father that she always watched from the door, crouching over scrolls and books, moved at her calling.

"I have people I want to protect, things I have to do. I might seem clumsy and at times uncertain on what I should do, but I have people that support me and help me. I have people that I trust with my life. I have a goal and I want to believe that I can make it. And I want you, too, to believe that I can."

"I made this for Touchan's trip tomorrow!"

Shone by the sun, his eyes turned dark brown. A rare small smile came to his face and he gently put his big hand on Airi's head. With that, the little girl beamed brighter.

"I hope tomorrow is sunny as well!"

"As long as I have people I want to protect, I will not drop this career," Airi said strongly. "To make sure that Asashio, and each of my ship, will lead a better future I will not drop this career. I wish for you to trust me in this... and I am sorry that once again, I am unable to fulfill your wish."

Airi closed her eyes. Yes, when she decided to go to the navy that time... she picked herself, not her family. Her brother and sister might still need her, with all the discord especially with their father. Yet she went, ignoring her father's reluctance for her own bitterness.

"I am sorry that I have never ever be useful for you or make you proud. Right now I have the chance to help you, yet I shot that down for a family that I singlehandedly decided to make my own. I am sorry that I always, always until now, failed in answering your needs. But I can't. I just can't. Please, I beg of you to understand... Touchan. I am sorry. I am sorry that I never answer your request."

She knew the movement by heart. The way to kneel properly, the way to place your hand properly, how far you bend yourself when you prostate. He taught her since she was little. His private lesson. The time for them to be together.

Young Airi did not hate the training. For her it was her private time with her father. His presence had never been so strong, and their silence as the swords swings was calming. It was calming because he was there, watching her. For young Airi, the rituals, training, the hardships, were her time with her father. That was why she never hated it. That was why she was so devoted in it. That was why she loved its value.

Because she loved her father.

Perhaps the reason why he took her to private training today was exactly that. To remind her of their time together many years ago, when he still had time with her and when she was not taken by the hectic schedule of life—of school and club and trainers who isn't her father. For them, it was their important moments. Perhaps it was as important to her father, as it was for her. Instead, she remembered all the harsh words the others said to her during the time in the dojo, all the hit, all the comparison with Shouhei and the main family or the ancestors. She forgot just how warm, how calming it was when she was a child.

In this silence, Airi could hear her father took a deep breath. His voice then came out soft and slow.

"You are... too kind."

Straightening herself, she looked at her father. She held her breath.

It had been years since she saw that expression. Black eyes softening, with a small warm smile on his face. However even if they looked into her eyes, Airi felt like it was not the present that he was looking at.

"You are always too kind," He started slowly. "You are too forgiving, too innocent, too gentle. You are emotional and sensitive, every turbulence that happens around you will affect you and you can never leave other's pain alone. You take other's burden and pain and make it your own. You help others, yet rarely help yourself. The military... is not a kind place for a soul like yours. I told you so, and you still departed."

His eyes flew to Asashio, who was still standing by the door way. For now, however, the black eyes glow gently.

"Attaching yourself will only make you be in more pain... yet knowing so both of you choose."

He paused, quite long this time. For a while it seemed like time was in a standstill. When he continued, a sad smile curved up his lips.

"I am sorry for not trusting you, Airi."

Trust.

Airi shook her head.

"And I, you, Touchan."

He smiled at her words.

"Airi, Sweetheart, your name is from your father. Ai, because you are loved and born out of love. They said names are prayers, and so we pray that you will one day be someone who can love other beings. Ri, of jasmine, because we wish that just like jasmine you will grow beautifully and bloom to tell people of the coming of spring, when ice will melt and warmth will come. For us, you are our love and our spring."

The black eyes were of those she remembered in her childhood. The looks now were not for her, but for the small girl standing by the door in her uniform.

"I see that you, too, answer to your name like your mother does."

Asashio.

"You come in the coming of a new day, Little One."

They said, names are prayers.

XXX

Tendouji Hiroshi eased himself from his meditating stance by the stone garden. He turned to the side, finding a man with intelligent grey eyes and moustache and goatee standing by the door. The man bowed to him, which he answered with the same deep bow in his sitting position. Slowly he rose.

"Kudou, of Kudou family in Ise?"

He smiled. A confident, sure smile.

"Yes. That is my distant family line, Tendouji-sama."

His voice was as handsome as his face was.

Distant. He had the grey eyes the Kudou family all had, he must have been inside the main family, even if not first in kine. Kudou are keeper of shrines. If Tendouji were born as keeper as temples, Kudou inherited hundred of years of ancient rituals. Hiroshi smiled, bowing lightly.

"Thank you for taking care of my daughter."

"Ah no, Tendouji-sama. It was her who has been helping me in these recent years."

The man had no hesitation. From his sure steady answer and also his straight bright eyes, Hiroshi knew he was there for a reason.

"Have you met Airi? I figured you are here to meet her?"

"We had some conversation just now, indeed," he gestured at the door. "We will be having a really big operation soon and she will have a really important role. She might rise in rank if she succeeds. There are some preparations to be had from her base, and mine. This will be her first to participate in full under the Grand Marshal, so I figured she must be quite nervous. She seems to have prepared everything extremely well. What a reliable and brilliant admiral."

There was no mistaking the real adoration in his voice when he talked about Airi. More often than not, people said praises as a matter of courtesy especially when talking to that person's parents. However, since the time he was by that door it was clear that Kudou had something in mind with a specific intention. His fondness of Hiroshi's daughter was quite visible. He also seemed to have no intention to beat around the bush.

"Tendouji-sama, the reason why she wants to reach that high rank was not simply career," The man began. He smiled. "Although I am sure you have figured out that much."

Airi was never a girl absorbed entirely in worldly wealth and fame. Having not meeting her for over a year, Hiroshi had a small inclination to believe that she might be different now, that military had changed her. With all her hesitation and troubled state of mind he thought that might be the case, although deep down he doubt that his daughter would ever turn that way just by undergoing navy education. However, upon seeing Asashio he had his fear over his daughter contended, as it was not like what he thought. What happened today also turned all his doubt all around. His little girl remained the kind girl she was, the girl who would silently pick up trash without being told and helped a cat caught on wire. Airi did not say anything else about her really strong decision to remain in navy other than what she said today. She only said she wanted to protect her ship. Of what, she did not say, although Hiroshi had some conjecture on what they were.

Men can be extremely vile when they are in the place of power, especially when they are used to that power position. It was the same with every human.

Why, most of the people who turned to him to "repent" or "runaway" or "cleanse" themselves are these men.

"At first my only interest was to watch over her progression, as it is unusual to have a female admiral especially from her upbringing," Kudou's voice turned nostalgic. "I figured she and I would have some similarities in how we are brought up, or our struggle to fit in navy. Turned out she was a lot more than what I thought. Kinder, tougher, smarter, and more. Tendouji-sama, I would like to support her dreams."

His grey eyes shone with strong resolve.

"I have heard what happened, from Airi, from your wife, from Shiori-chan," His voice dropped lower, stronger. Airi. They called each other with front names. "I am wondering you had the difficulty to tell Airi of the repercussion in repelling the engagement. I have been through the same thing and I figure you might have had some other worries about it."

Hiroshi tilted his head slight. He did not say anything. This man had every power and ability to turn things to his favor. He is extremely intelligent, it was true, and he could read between the lines extremely quickly.

"I apologize that I am being so intrusive, or stepping out of my boundaries of an outsiders, and I know that you will be reluctant to disclose such important family affair to a stranger such as I," he smiled. "I won't ask as well, as it is a sensitive matter to entrust. I have an idea or two, in how to repel the engagement safely, especially when it concerns an old family such as the Amakusa."

Cunning, this man was. His grey eyes shone with intelligence.

"Contend them in the old way is what I will suggest you, Tendouji-sama. Nothing speaks louder than power to men who are used to it. Airi had that aplenty but she would never use or display it, unless it is her family at stake. It is easy to see her as a submissive person, but you and I know that she is a lot more than what she shows. Nothing would push down overconfident men like losses."

Kudou smiled, a charming confident smile.

"My only motivation to confront you about this is Airi and no one or nothing else."

His eyes were sure and straight. The eyes of a man who knows what he wants.

"And just like you, too, Tendouji-sama, I wish for her happiness."

They were eyes of a man in love.

"And just like you, I trust her. She is someone who will fight for her family. I suggest you to let her do just that."

XXX

Asashio did not know the full story but the day after all the outburst in Tendouji family, Amakusa family came. Negotiations seemed to take place, more between the parents than between Admiral Tendouji and her supposed fiance. And suddenly, as Asashio was cleaning up the front yard along with Shiori-san, they were called in to the dojo.

With both combatants facing each other in their ready position, Hiroshi-san's deep yet soft voice suddenly broke the silence.

"Begin."

Everything happened so, very fast. Admiral's hands moved in a blur even for Asashio. In a fast flick of her wrist she deflect an incoming hit and landed a hard, strong hit on the side of Jin's helmet. The sound of wooden sword hitting echoed. It must be quite a hard hit, as he swayed, in shock. He planted his right foot hard on the floor, almost losing his balance.

There was no other voice or sound other than the shuffling of their gi. Admiral Tendouji moved back in two fast strides, settling back into her kata. Recovering from his earlier shock, Jin shook his head and also straightened up.

She might be imagining it, but she saw a ghost of a smile on Hiroshi-san's face. Black eyes shone in gentle yet proud glow, he watched his daughter closely.

The eyes of a parent.

XXX

Haaa... haaa...

Her head felt like it was ringing. Her concentration was on full flare... and now that she let that go, feeling the adrenaline rush slowly dissipate, her head was burning. She looked down, at Jin's face which contorted in pain. He was down on the hardwood floor, Airi's bokken close by his neck, half touching his skin. She had got him down by getting into his defenses and pushed his torso with her shoulder with the right hit and force, making him losing his balance and fell on his back hard. A hard hit on his bokken sent it flying to another end of the room and it was a child's play stopping her bokken by his neck.

"10-0. Airi's victory."

Otousama's voice washed her over like cold water. She straightened, stepped back, then bowed at her opponent, who now would never be her fiance anymore.

She won.

Behind her back, Shiori let out a "yes!" and Asashio clapped. Okaasama must be smiling. Jin did not say a word, nor the Amakusa. It was a complete win.

"I guess the decision for the engagement will fall to Airi's hand, Jin-kun."

Airi looked beside her, to her father.

He briefly looked at Jin, then his daughter. His black eyes softened.

"Your swings have conviction."

He smiled. A proud smile.

The smile Airi used to see years ago, when the time was still theirs to take.

"Congratulations."

XXX

"Yaaaaaaaaay! A new sweater!" Suzuya spread her newly received present, a soft Sakura-colored knit-sweater from Kyoto. Asashio smiled at the heavy cruiser's extremely delighted expression. "Asashio-chan, you're the best!"

"Eh, let me see, let me see! Heeeeee, Suzuya, you should be more refined with that on, kay?"

"How could you be so bold to a maiden with frail heart like me, Maya, I am refined enough!"

"What about me? Do you bring anything?"

"Nee, nee, Asashiooo, where is this one photo from?"

"Uwaaaaaa, Admiral's mother looks exactly like her!"

"Heeee, you're right!"

It felt like it had been years since she experienced this kind of exuberant atmosphere. It was such a contrast against Tendouji household's quiet, serene, and refined house. Asashio brought gift for each Kanmusu and so they gathered at the living room of Destroyer Dorm, circling her, waiting for her gift also to listen to Asashio's stories. Everyone wanted to know about their Admiral's family and house. The photos Asashio took were circulating around them, with occasional "waaa!" and "Heeeee!" now and then.

"And? And? And?"

Sendai leaned forward towards Asashio while holding her own present tightly, a big portrait of Kyoto night view. Asashio was in the middle of telling them about what happened during the match between Admiral Tendouji and her (past) fiance. Of course she did not tell them what happened before.

"And? Admiral wins?"

"Of course," Asashio smiled. Some of the Kanmusu did a big "oooohhh!". "She would. For us."

To come back for them, she would do everything. Such was their kind Admiral. For her, family was her most important thing and they were her family. Asashio understood that very much now. Looking at the faces of the other Kanmusu, she felt her heart fluttered. Family. This base may have been different with Tendouji family and they may not have been connected by blood.. but they were family just the same.

The family that you were born into, and the family that you chose to be into. Both were just as precious as the others.

Although the Tendouji house felt like home for her, too, now, she knew her rightful place was here, with her fellow comrade. Both worlds for her felt extremely precious, and she knew perhaps that was what Admiral Tendouji would like her to know when she took her out on their off-base walk.

"Good afternoon. Oh my, what is happening here?"

Everyone's faces turned towards the door. In an instant, the room exploded with unison of voices in mix choir of "Admiral!" "Commander!" "Commander-sama!" then followed by numerous other incorrigible words as squads of girls came and flock around the woman who appeared by the door. Asashio stood from her sitting position but she did not immediately catch up to everyone, who was now trying to get their beloved Admiral's attention first and ask her questions. She merely stood and watched, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the warmth surfacing in her heart.

To fight against the Abyssal was not only her job, now she knew it was her decision, her will, and what she wanted to do.

After all, she had to protect that person who would raise her sword to come back to them.

She had to come back to her too. Each and every time. And bring everyone back.

The warm, beautiful, familiar brown eyes moved to her place now. Her Admiral smiled and Asashio's heart ached. A rather kind, beautiful and fleeting "pain" and "longing". She understood now. The desire to protect, the desire to see that person smile, the height of sacrifice. It was hard to not say that one word again after being so used to it after their time together in Tendouji household.

"Commander, good morning."

A knowing smile and glint in her eyes answered the formal and straight greetings.

"Good morning, Asashio."

XXX

Wind blew hard, waving the flags of their country on poles lining up beside the high sturdy fence of the naval base. Seaside area were always windy. Being unaccostumed to so much wind even if he, too, now live in a big city with port, he buried his hand into his pocket. He passed a small tobacco shop, going into one of the small alley way connecting the station and the base.

Suddenly a strong hand caught his shoulder. Having the instinct of his past martial arts practitioner self, he moved with practiced speed and ease—but his assailant was faster. And much stronger. In a split second, he found himself pinned to the wall of the small alley.

"That is a very impressive move, Amakusa-san. Don't be so rough now, I only want to talk."

Amakusa Jin looked back at his assailant, finding a man with a smile.

"I thought what happened between you and Tendouji house had been settled? Has it not?"

Jin's eyes widened, shocked that this random person suddenly touching the very reason of him there. He gritted his teeth.

"I don't know what you..."

"You do know and I can pretty much see why you are here."

Still having that smile on his face, his assailant drew his face closer to him.

"You know, I dislike it when my underclassman is troubled... just as I dislike men who do not know their place. Too bad that you fit both of those criteria."

With that, his smile vanished.

His voice dropped lower.

"Don't go near her or this base ever again. As long as you have no respect to her and her Kanmusu."

His irises were grey, striking grey, and extremely cold.

Only one family had those grey eyes in this nation. A family even more powerful in both wealth and political standings than the Tendouji.

With his change of expression, his assailant smiled.

"I see we have reached understanding," His vice-like grip loosened, but the light in his eyes remained bright and strong. Piercing. Coercing. His voice was as handsome as his eyes. "It's very nice to know you, Amakusa-san."

To be continued

---

Ah, finally this one part is out. :3