Disclaimer: Everything belongs to The Marvel Universe except for my characters Sophie and Jeremy and any other SOs that become introduced – they are my own creations and are not meant to resemble anyone else's OCs in any way.
A/N: Omg you all. Those of you that left a review on the last chapter left just the most wonderful comments! I was SO happy reading them! Thank you!
This is a really long chapter and I didn't have much time to do a lot of read throughs so please excuse any error or typos you find.
Chapter 5: Parting Ways
~ 1.5 Years Ago ~
The next time that Sophie and Bucky spent the night together it ended in disaster.
It was the middle of July and the New York summer day was oppressively hot. Sophie and Bucky sat together on her balcony, legs propped up on the railing and hands sticky with popsicles as they melted down their fingers.
"So…can I be honest without you getting upset with me?" Sophie asked cautiously.
Bucky pulled the cherry flavored popsicle out of his mouth and stared at her in surprise.
"Yeah, of course."
"I don't think Maggie likes me very much."
She was referring to Bucky's girlfriend — a sweet girl from Brooklyn who Steve had set him up with. She taught first grade at a local private school, had a soft and quiet beauty about her, and she was nice. Sophie really couldn't say anything bad about her and everyone seemed to like Maggie. But Maggie, it would seem, was not fond of Sophie. Bucky made a face and averted his eyes.
"She doesn't like me!" Sophie exclaimed.
He sighed and gazed out at the building across the street. Mouth going dry, Sophie watched as his tongue darted out and lapped up some of the sticky treat before it dripped down his arm. Something suddenly struck Sophie as incredibly erotic about the sight and she found her eyes glued to his mouth. A strangled noise came out of his throat as Bucky tried to find the right words. The sound snapped her out of whatever trance she'd been in. Sophie swallowed hard as she stuck her own dessert into her mouth and turned her head forward.
Breathe Sophie! What the actual fuck was that?!
Running his fingers through his hair he turned to face her again.
"I guess you can say she's not your biggest fan," he frowned.
"But why? What did I do?"
"I don't know Soph. Maybe it's just the fact that you're a female and you're one of my closest friends. I feel like I suddenly really understand what it's been like between you and Jeremy."
"But she hasn't even given me a chance! You guys have been dating for, what? A month and a half now?"
"Something like that."
"And every time I ask her to hang out she says no. How is she supposed to get to know me if she won't hang out with me?"
He looked at her sidelong, "I'm not sure she wants to hang out with you."
"Bucky!"
"I can't force her!"
"Yeah but you could try to smooth things over or encourage her to try."
"I know. And I have been. I just don't know what else to do. I don't know how to convince her that we're just friends. You know exactly how that goes."
Sophie sighed and set down her popsicle stick. Grabbing her water bottle she poured some over her hand and then wiped it on her jean shorts. She tried to hand the bottle to Bucky but he shook his head at her, indicating his unfinished treat.
"How long is it going to take you to eat that thing?"
"I'm savoring it."
Shoving the popsicle in his mouth he set his feet on the ground and leaned forward. Sophie watched his fingers grab the hem of his shirt and yank it over his head. Throwing it down to the floor, he slipped the now clean stick out of his mouth and proceeded to clean his hands.
"Good grief it's hot today," he commented while propping his feet back up.
"Mmmhmmm," Sophie hummed her agreement as she averted her eyes.
They sat together in silence while Bucky fanned them both with a magazine she'd brought outside. She suddenly sat up straight, bare feet slapping down hard on the balcony floor. He turned to face her in alarm, Sophie's excited expression confusing him.
"What? What is it?"
"I have a great idea!"
"Oh boy…"
"Don't 'oh boy' me! You're going to be thanking me when you hear this!"
"Ok then. Let's have it."
"A double date."
"Huh?"
The horrified expression on Bucky's face made her giggle.
"Just hear me out. You, me, Maggie and Jeremy. Something casual like pizza or whatever. It'll give Jeremy a chance to see that you're with someone now and definitely not a threat. It'll give Maggie a chance to do the same and we can all get to know each other a little better!"
"Jeremy and I have tried to get to know each other. I know you love him, but no thanks."
"Bucky…" Sophie whined as she gave him her best puppy dog face.
"Don't do that. Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" She asked innocently.
"With your eyes all big and round and brown —"
"My eyes are always brown."
"And your lip all pouty. You know what I mean."
"Please? Plleeaasseee?"
Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and looked away, studiously ignoring her.
"For me?"
He glanced at Sophie sidelong.
"Oh come on. It's the best I can come up with. I just want us all to get along," she finished sadly.
Uncrossing his arms, Bucky turned his head lazily towards Sophie and let out a long sigh.
"I know. Me too."
"Sooo…?"
"Yeah, ok. I'll talk to Maggie. But don't hold your breath."
"Yay! I'll talk to Jeremy! Thank you!"
She leaned towards him and planted a kiss on his cheek.
"Yeah yeah," he waved her off. "Anything for you, Sophie."
…
The two couples sat in the red vinyl booth at the pizza parlor near Sophie's house. It was a small, hole in the wall, family owned place that wasn't anything fancy. But Bucky and Sophie loved it and they'd been there so often that the owner knew them by name. He and his wife had immigrated from Italy 30 years prior and started the little pizza joint with the small amount of money that they had. 'The American Dream!' Sophie liked to sigh to Bucky as they'd dig into the lovingly handmade pizza while the wife smiled at them from behind the counter. Sometimes, when her husband wasn't looking, she'd sneak them free cannolis.
But tonight was different. Tonight she sat near the register, looking through receipts and sending confused surreptitious glances at the foursome. The awkward silence stretched on between them as they all thoroughly studied their menus. Finally, Sophie couldn't take it anymore. She cleared her throat and set her menu down.
"Sooo, Maggie. How long have you lived in New York?"
Setting her own menu down, she gave Sophie a demure smile.
"All my life. Born and raised in Brooklyn. Just like my Bucky."
She looked up at him coyly and nudged her shoulder against his. He glanced back at her, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
'My Bucky' talk about staking a claim. Good grief.
Sophie tried not to scowl at the display.
"Brooklyn is a pretty great area," Jeremy chimed in. "Especially for families. I've actually just expanded my portfolio out there recently."
"Oh? What is it that you do?" Maggie asked him curiously.
"I'm a Realtor," he said proudly.
"Ohhhh fascinating! I love watching all those reality shows on tv! Is it anything like that?"
Sophie and Bucky exchanged an amused glance as Jeremy launched into his day to day job life. Their waiter arrived and took their orders, then disappeared, leaving them once more in awkward silence.
"So how did you two meet?" Jeremy asked them, directing the question at Maggie.
"We were set up by a mutual friend actually."
"No kidding! So were we."
"How long have you been together?"
Jeremy looked over at Sophie with a big grin before responding, "Just over two years now."
"Oh gosh! Think we'll get there Bucky?"
Looking up at him through her lashes, Maggie scooted in close until he was forced to raise his arm and drape it around her.
"Guess we'll see," he replied jokingly.
"That's not very nice," she said with mock hurt, her body turning into his slightly.
Despite the table between them, Sophie could tell that she'd put her hand on his leg and dragged it up his thigh. The way Bucky looked down at her made her stomach squirm and she had to look away from them. Jeremy was lost on his phone in an email, as per usual, and missed the entire exchange. Looking out the window, she wanted to turn back and scream at them to get a room already. Their food blessedly arrived right at that moment, distracting everyone. Digging in, Sophie hummed in delight as the fresh ingredients hit her tongue.
"Not bad," Jeremy commented.
"Meh," Maggie lifted a dainty shoulder in a shrug. "I've had much better. This kind of tastes like it came out of the freezer."
Sophie nearly choked on her food. She decided right then and there that she hated Maggie.
"Oh come on, I think it's pretty good," Bucky chimed in.
"Good? It's the best. Handmade, with fresh ingredients, and lots of love."
"Maybe they forgot the love this time," Maggie deadpanned.
Sophie set her slice down and glared at the woman across the table. Bucky could smell the trouble coming on and knew he had to act quick. Setting his own pizza on the plate, he wiped his hands on his napkin and looked over at Jeremy.
"So Jeremy, did you ever get that horse farm Upstate sold?"
Jeremy looked over at him in surprise, clearly not expecting to be addressed directly by Bucky.
"Yeah. Last month actually. Took a bit longer than expected but I got the job done."
He continued a long-winded explanation of his selling strategy and how it differed from the apartments he sold in the city. Bucky tuned him out.
Get Jeremy to talk about himself. Works every time.
But as he ventured a glance at Sophie, he found her sitting very still and staring at him with an inscrutable expression. Cold and angry vibes rolled off of her.
Ok…maybe didn't work as well as I thought it would.
His eyes shifted back down to the table. They continued to eat, Bucky and Sophie largely sitting in complete silence as Maggie and Jeremy carried most of the conversation. Occasionally Maggie would pull Bucky into the discussion, flirting outrageously and touching him constantly. Sophie continued to be a mute as she observed their interactions. She had never seen Bucky out on a date before but this is not what she had expected. He wasn't at all uncomfortable with the massive amount of PDA. In fact, he seemed to welcome it. He sat there, completely relaxed, smiling, flirting, touching back. The looks he was sending Maggie's way were sizzling and she briefly wondered if she and Jeremy were ever like that. Something about their interaction irritated Sophie, making her feel angry and indignant. It felt like Maggie's blatant come ons were all a show put on for her sake. She was trying to assert herself as Bucky's number one and to make it clear to Sophie that he was hers. And only hers.
How does he not see her game? How does her behavior not upset him?
But then a thought struck her. Maggie was Bucky's number one now. And Bucky was first and foremost hers. A sinking feeling filled her, making Sophie feel sick. The chattering between their significant others droned on in the background as she attempted to compose herself. Eyes glued to the table in front of her, she took a deep breath. Then she felt it. Someone was watching her. She lifted her gaze and met Bucky's scrutinizing stare. She could practically see him asking if she was ok. And that was it. Something snapped inside Sophie and she turned suddenly to Jeremy, tugging his arm.
"I need to go. I'm not feeling good."
Everyone turned to look at her then. She swallowed and hazarded a glance at Bucky. He hadn't moved but his expression changed minutely. Brows furrowed, eyes worried. The change was so subtle she doubted anyone else would have noticed. But she knew.
"Take me home," she begged Jeremy.
"Yeah. Ok. Here," he began to take out his wallet.
"No, it's fine. I'll cover you guys," Bucky insisted.
A dark scowl marred Jeremy's face, "I'm perfectly capable of paying for our meals."
Sophie nearly broke.
"Enough of your pissing match! I need to go!"
Jeremy threw down some cash on the table with a 'this should cover us' and ushered Sophie out the door. They stepped outside into the warm air and she gulped it deeply, on the verge of hysterical tears.
…
11:03pm Bucky: Are you ok? What happened?
11:28pm Bucky: Sophie?
11:59pm Bucky: I'm getting worried. Please text me back.
10:00am Sophie: Sorry. I'm fine. Must have eaten something that didn't sit well with me. Hope Maggie wasn't mad.
10:05am Bucky: She was fine. You ate what you always have there. What's going on?
10:47am Sophie: Then maybe I'm coming down with something.
11:00am Bucky: Well on the bright side, maybe your plan worked? Jeremy and I are a total loss but I think Maggie liked him.
11:02am Sophie: Of course she did.
11:07am Bucky: What's that supposed to mean?
11:30am Sophie: Nothing. She still hate me?
11:34am Bucky: Maybe a little less?
11:40am Sophie: Fantastic.
11:41am Bucky: There's something going on with you. Talk to me.
11:42am Sophie: I said I'm fine. Let it go.
11:59am Bucky: I'm leaving on a mission in 2hrs. Maybe you'll feel like being honest when I get back.
12:00pm Sophie: Or maybe you'll remember how to keep your nose out of my business sometimes. You're not my boyfriend.
…
Sophie groaned as she re-read the texts between her and Bucky and then set the phone down. It had been a week and he'd never responded. He was due back from his mission some time today. Being friendly with Michael, Bucky's usual Eye, came particularly in handy when she needed to know his departure and arrival times. She guzzled her iced coffee at an alarming rate, preparing for the brain freeze if she didn't slow down.
Omg. You're such an idiot. What were you thinking? What the hell came over you? Maybe you are coming down with something. Something in the brain…
Staring out the coffee shop window, Sophie watched all the people as they walked by. It was Friday evening and there was a mixture of people getting off work and going out already. She took another gulp of her coffee as she continued to people watch. Her phone pinged and she glanced at the screen.
Michael: Just landed. No incidents. Debrief probably quick. Guessing he'll be home within an hour.
Sophie: Thanks Michael.
She felt antsy now, unsure of what to do with herself for an entire hour. Her book lay long abandoned on the table and she'd finally finished off the drink. So now she had nothing to do but sit and wait. Her fingers tapped on the table and her foot jiggled. Every once in a while she checked her phone. At last it was time to leave. But as she stood, Sophie hesitated.
What if he doesn't want to see me? What if Maggie is coming over? What if Maggie opens the door?!
That thought filled her with enough horror that she sat back down. Slowly slipping her phone back out of her purse she texted Bucky instead.
Sophie: Heard through the grapevine you're back. Can I come over so we can talk?
She waited five minutes before a response came. It was one word.
Bucky: Sure.
Taking a deep and bracing breath, she stood back up and stepped outside. The walk to Bucky's place was short and she found herself standing in front of his apartment within minutes. She knocked gently, knowing he'd hear it. The door opened and there he stood, still dressed in his tactical gear. Sophie had to force herself not to stare. She rarely saw him like this and when she did, she couldn't deny just how irresistibly sexy he looked.
It's just the uniform, she told herself.
"Hey," she greeted him softly.
"Hi."
Bucky stepped aside and she walked into the apartment. His face was passive and she could tell he was still angry with her. Walking past her, he began to undo the complicated buckles and zippers of his jacket as Sophie started to talk.
"Bucky…I just wanted to apologize for the texts. I don't know what came over me. I'm really sorry."
He peeled the jacket off and tossed it to the floor, turning to face her.
"Wasn't your best moment," he mumbled.
The feeling of shame and guilt slowly began to wind inside of her, unbidden tears stinging her eyes. Bucky kept his gaze on her as he reached for the hem of his black tee and yanked it over his head, letting it land beside the jacket. His fingers went to his pants, pushing open the button. But when he reached for the zipper, a funny expression crossed his face. He hesitated, then dropped his hands back to his sides. Sophie had seen him in his swimming trunks or boxers countless times. In fact, she was always surprised by how comfortable he was walking around in his underwear around her. The fact that he hesitated spoke volumes. Something had changed between them. Sophie felt her heart break slightly and she couldn't help the tear that rolled down her cheek as she took in a shaky breath.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered.
Bucky sighed and shook his head.
"Oh Soph, don't cry."
He stepped up to her and cupped her cheeks in his hands, wiping the tear away with his thumb.
"We were bound to have a fight at some point, huh?"
She attempted to nod but her face was still firmly in his grasp.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled again.
"It's alright. We're fine."
She sniffled loudly as a few more tears spilled over.
"Shh, don't cry Sophie. Everything's fine. We're ok," he murmured before leaning down and kissing her forehead gently.
"I need to go take a shower. Will you still be here when I get out?"
He dropped his hands down but did not step away from her.
Sophie nodded, "Yeah, if you want me to."
"I want you to."
"Ok then."
Letting out a long sigh as Bucky closed the door to the bathroom, she could feel the tension begin to melt away. Making her way over to the couch she sat down and pulled out her phone. But just as she'd started reading an email, a movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. Sophie slowly lowered the phone down to her lap, thoroughly perplexed now. Nothing seemed out of order. The apartment was quiet save for the sounds of the shower. She turned back to her phone but continued to keep a watch out. A moment later, something scampered out from behind the couch and ducked under the coffee table. Sophie nearly let out a scream of terror as she dropped her phone on the floor and darted completely onto the couch, feet and all. Heart beating fiercely, she swallowed hard and gathered up the courage to look under the table. Very slowly, she crept off the couch, then got down on her hands and knees and peered into the shadows. A tiny meow escaped the small creature. Sophie straightened up, her face screwed up in confusion.
"What the hell?"
Out crawled the smallest, fluffiest, whitest kitten she'd ever seen.
"Oh. My. God. You are sooooo cute!" She squealed.
Scooping up the tiny thing, she sat back down on the couch and placed him in her lap. The tiny razor sharp claws bit into her legs but she didn't care. His coat was soft as silk and white as pure snow. Looking up at her, he squeaked out another meow. She heard the shower stop and a few moments later, the door opened. Bucky emerged, towel wrapped around his waist and rivulets of water dripping down from his still wet hair. Sophie turned to him immediately.
"You, mister. Have a lot of explaining to do."
Bucky froze, looking both equally confused and scared. The expression on his face was so comical she couldn't help but laugh. Standing up with the kitten in her grasp, she walked towards the super soldier.
"Who is this?! And where did she come from?! Did you know you had the world's cutest kitten in your apartment?"
A slow grin spread on Bucky's face.
"I was wondering how long it would take you to find him."
"What?! Explain yourself."
Bucky laughed, "Let me put some clothes on."
"And how do you know it's a boy?" She called after him, "Looks more like a girl to me. You should get her a pretty pink bow."
"I took him to the vet already. Wanted to make sure he was ok and he wasn't microchipped," he called from his bedroom.
"Definitely a boy, they double checked," Bucky told her as he strode back into the living room.
"Oh."
Sophie's lip came out in a pout as she stared at the kitten.
"So are you going to tell me now?"
He sat down on the couch and she ambled after him, petting the tiny creature as she went.
"Well, I actually found him the morning we went on our double date. It was pouring outside when I was walking home from the gym and I was standing on the curb, waiting to cross the street when something caught my eye. I looked down and this little guy was just sitting there, between my legs!"
"What? No way! You're making that up!"
"I swear I'm not. I guess he was just trying to get somewhere dry. So I picked him up and I looked all around but couldn't find any signs of a mama or any other kittens. So I took him with me. Next day I took him to the vet. He's not microchipped and they guessed he was just a stray. They said looks like he's around eight or ten weeks old."
"Why didn't you tell me about him sooner?!"
"I was going to at dinner but then you ran off before I had chance to. And then we had our fight…"
Sophie made an apologetic face.
"But then you left for a week! Who took care of him?"
"Maggie did," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "She's crazy about him."
"Oh, right. Of course she did. So…does this mean you're keeping him?"
"I guess so."
"Awww yay! I get to play with you all the time! Are you going to be a crazy cat man now?" She squealed as she nuzzled the kitten while Bucky watched on in amusement.
"You know you can get your own cat, right?"
"Oh hush. That makes way too much sense. Does he have a name yet?"
Bringing his leg up, Bucky rested his elbow upon his knee, then propped his head up.
"I was thinking…Alpine?"
Sophie stared at him for a moment, then looked back at the kitten.
"I mean…it doesn't have to be that. I just wanted something to do with snow. You know, because of his coat. But I didn't want it to be so literal. So then I thought…snow…mountains…Alps…I don't know, maybe it's stupid."
"I love it."
"You do?" He looked at her skeptically.
"Do you think…maybe, there was a little bit of a subconscious choice there?"
"What do you mean?" He looked at her blankly.
"I mean, you have a lot of history that happened in the Alps."
Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, I guess. I didn't really think about that. Maybe I shouldn't name him that then."
"Why not? You did a lot of good in the Alps too. And…as horrible as everything was that happened to you…you wouldn't be here today, now, if it hadn't. And then where would this little guy be? Truthfully, sometimes I don't know where I would be without you," she finished quietly.
He stared at Sophie, an inscrutable expression on his face. She could feel her own face start to burn under his probing gaze and she averted her eyes back to the kitten.
"Alpine it is then," he said softly.
Her eyes lifted back up to his. An unusual tension crackled between them. Bucky could feel his heart rate speed up just as Sophie felt her stomach flip flop. Both of them confused as to where this was coming from. Then his phone buzzed, breaking the spell. Blinking a few times, he cleared his throat and picked up the phone.
"Hey Maggie," his eyes met Sophie's again.
She couldn't hear the other end of the conversation but she looked away from him anyway to give them some privacy.
"Yeah sure, that sounds good. Ok. I'll see you in a bit."
"Maggie's coming over now?"
"Yeah."
"I guess I should go…"
She watched a torn and tortured expression cross Bucky's features.
"You don't have to," he said slowly.
"I should. I don't want to cause any problems. I know how these things go, remember?"
"Yeah, I guess."
She handed him back the kitten and stood up, walking over to the door where she slipped her shoes back on. Glancing over her shoulder, she reached for the doorknob.
"I'm sorry," he told her as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
She gave him a sad smile.
"Me too," and then added, "I'll see you later."
"Yeah."
…
Two weeks later found Sophie slowly pulling on her comfiest pair of pjs. It was nearly 11:00pm on Friday night and she couldn't wait to get into bed. The day had been long and her muscles were sore, screaming at her in pain. She'd made the mistake of allowing Bucky to join her at the gym the previous day and was now regretting her choices. Working out with Bucky was not like working out with Jeremy. When she and Jeremy were there together, he did his own thing and she did hers. He liked to get in the zone and didn't particularly want to be bothered by Sophie. It came as a bit of a shock to her the first time they'd gone together. She'd expected him to want to help her with her form and be her spotter. She thought they'd be working in together. But when she'd mentioned that, he seemed to get irritated. The gym was Jeremy's happy place that he went to to blow off steam and disconnect. Going at the same time was fine, but he was not planning on being her personal trainer. In contrast, Bucky wouldn't leave her alone — always encouraging her and pushing her to do 'just one more.' He playfully flirted and teased her until her annoyance and anger boiled over and she found herself lifting and accomplishing things she never thought she was capable of. Although the glimmer of pride in his eyes left her feeling immensely pleased, she was also left excruciatingly sore the next day. And so most of the time, she worked out on her own, accepting Bucky's offer to come with only on days when she needed some extra motivation or just decided to be a glutton for punishment.
"Why?" She moaned aloud. "Why did I do this to myself?"
Jeremy had called right when she'd got off work and asked if she wanted to get dressed up and go out for dinner. Usually Sophie was excited to do just that, but tonight was not the night. She had to apologize and beg him not to be upset. It had been a while since they'd got all fancy and gone out but she just couldn't find the energy tonight. 'Tomorrow,' she'd promised him. At last Jeremy had relented, telling her he'd go out with his boys instead. That was just fine with her. So now she stood in front of her bathroom mirror, face washed, hair brushed, and attempted to brush her teeth. Her arm muscles screamed at her as she finished up. Trudging over to her bed, she fell in with a pleased sigh and yanked the covers over her body. Closing her eyes, a hum of satisfaction escaped Sophie's lips. Not a moment later, her phone began to buzz.
"Nooooooo…" she moaned into her pillow.
Ignoring the call, she turned her back to the nightstand and snuggled further into the blankets. A few minutes went by, then it started up again. Sophie let out another groan and pulled the blanket up over her head. At last, it was blessedly silent. She could feel the first tugs of sleep coming over her when the phone went off for a third time.
"FUCK."
She threw the blanket off and whirled around, snatching the phone up. Glancing at the screen she saw it was Steve.
"What?!" She snarled into the device.
"Woah. Not a great time?"
"Not the best," Sophie bit out.
Steve sighed, "I'm sorry. You're probably out and having a great time, but…you need to get down to Murray's. Please."
Her face scrunched up in confusion. She knew Steve was referring to the Scottish pub that was about two blocks from her house. It was a favorite haunt of theirs. With it's dark wood, cozy booths, and plethora of Scotch options, it gave off a distinctly European feel that was both welcoming and intimate at the same time.
"Why? What's wrong?"
There were a few moments where Steve didn't say anything. She could hear the noise in the background dim and assumed he had stepped away to give himself some privacy.
"Maggie broke up with Bucky," he said quietly.
"Shit."
Sophie was out of bed in an instant. Rummaging in her closet, she found a pair of cut offs and a tank. She put Steve on speaker as she began to change.
"What happened?"
"I don't know. He won't talk. But I think he's determined to drink the entire bar. I haven't seen him like this in a long time. And I think I'm just making things worse. Everything I say is making him more agitated."
"Ok. Ok. I'm coming. Walking out the door now."
"Thanks."
…
The pub was buzzing with activity when Sophie stepped inside. She pushed her way through until she came up to the bar, finding the two super soldiers seated side by side. Slipping onto the bar stool on the right of Bucky she looked over at Steve. He greeted her with a wary nod.
"Hey Bucky," she said gently.
He looked at her sidelong and grunted.
"He didn't need to call you. I'm fine."
"I know."
"Buck. I've told you. I have to leave for a mission soon. I can't sit here with you all night and I want to make sure you get home ok."
"Now remind me again, are you leaving for a mission? Or for a mission? It is with Nat, right?"
Steve rolled his eyes, "You know it's not like that."
"Whatever you say buddy."
He took a large swig of his scotch, finishing it off in one gulp, then signaled to the bartender for another. The guy gave Bucky a circumspect look, then glanced between Sophie and Steve. Steve gave him a yielding nod and the man placed another drink on the counter.
"You should just leave the bottle," Bucky growled at him.
"At this rate, I might as well," the bartender shot back.
Steve sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Sorry," he apologized for his friend.
The man huffed and walked to the other side of the bar.
"What happened?" Sophie asked him.
"Nothing."
"Well clearly not nothing. What are you doing, anyway? I thought you couldn't get drunk?"
"I never said that."
Sophie looked at Steve as he ran a hand down his face in exasperation.
"I'm confused," she said as her gaze jumped between the two super soldiers.
"We didn't get the same serum. It takes a lot. But if he tries really hard, he can get tipsy. I've only seen it happen once and the amount of alcohol he consumed probably would have landed anyone else in the hospital," Steve clarified.
She rolled her eyes, "That's ridiculous. Bucky, come on. You're being childish. You don't have to tell me what happened, but let me take you home."
"I didn't ask you to come here. If you think I'm being childish, you're welcome to leave."
Sophie's face darkened.
"James Barnes, I literally dragged my ass out of bed to come help you. You will not talk to me like that!"
"Annnddd on that note, I have to go."
Steve stood up and clapped a large hand on each of their shoulders. Bucky shrugged him off immediately as Sophie glared daggers at him. He mouthed her an 'I'm sorry' before turning towards the door. The bartender came back over and threw Bucky a dirty look before redirecting his gaze at Sophie.
"Can I get you anything?"
"No," she said firmly. "I'm not staying."
She watched Bucky roll his eyes at the ceiling, tip his head up and throw back his drink. He made a move to ask for another but she cut him off.
"And he's not either."
The bartender nodded, "I'll close out his tab."
Bucky turned on her, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
She stared at him and he stared back. The anger was etched into his features, but she could see the hurt he was trying to hide. She'd seen him like this before. Back when they'd just met and she went to her first Tony Stark party. Her face softened and she reached out for his vibranium hand. He flinched violently when her fingers made contact. Casting his eyes downward, he shifted his arm out of reach. Sophie's heart twisted with concern. It had been years since he was like this with her. They'd been good friends long enough now that he no longer showed any concern or embarrassment about his arm around her and for the first time that night, she really wondered what had happened between him and Maggie.
"Sorry," he mumbled so quietly she barely heard him.
"It's ok. Just go ahead and settle up. I'm exhausted and I want to go home."
Bucky raised his eyes up to her and took a moment to really look at her face. She really did seem worn out. The fatigue was evident in her eyes and he suddenly felt incredibly stupid and guilty. Quickly paying the tab, the two friends made their way onto the street. They paused just outside the door and Bucky took in a deep breath of the warm, stale air. Sophie suddenly noticed the long sleeved shirt that he wore despite the lingering summer heat. A question for a later time, she decided. Grabbing onto his right arm, she tugged gently.
"Think you can make it on foot?"
He nodded as they set off, stumbling slightly just a moment later. Sophie looked up at him questioningly.
"I guess I'm a bit buzzed after all. It's been so long I'd forgotten what it feels like."
They continued to walk slowly, arms linked in silence. Bucky could feel the alcohol wearing off with each step he took and in it's place settled a bone deep wariness. He glanced down at Sophie as he felt himself nearly dragging her along. She looked so tired, leaning her head against his shoulder. They were closing in on her apartment and he could see the look of longing cross her features.
"Soph. I don't think you're going to make it to my apartment."
"I don't think I am either. I want to just lay down on my stoop and go to sleep."
"I can't let you do that," Bucky replied gently. "Why don't you go on up to your place. I'll be fine."
She shook her head against his arm.
"No, I'm not leaving you alone tonight. You don't have to tell me what happened, but I don't want you to be alone."
He paused at the bottom of her stairs and turned Sophie into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her cheek against his chest. Bucky kissed the top of her head softly.
"Then I guess I'm coming up with you."
She nodded against him.
…
As soon as they were inside, Sophie drifted into her bedroom to change back into her PJs. Meanwhile, Bucky stripped down to his black boxer briefs and retrieved the spare blanket and pillow from her minuscule linen closet. He was making a bed on her couch when she stepped out of her room. Leaning on the doorjamb, she crossed her arms over her chest as she watched him.
"What are you doing?"
He looked up at her in surprise, "Going to sleep?"
"You do remember we've shared a bed before, right?"
Bucky knew that she was referring to six months prior when he'd suffered from one of his debilitating migraines and she'd spent the night to take care of him.
"You can stay in here with me. It's not a big deal."
Making an apologetic face, he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"I know but…I wasn't feeling well then. This is different. You're with Jeremy and it just doesn't feel right."
She straightened, her arms tightening around her chest.
"Yeah," she answered quietly. "I guess you're right. Is that why you and Maggie broke up? Because of our relationship?"
"No," he said simply.
Making her way over to him, she sat on the couch. He joined her and they stayed like that for several minutes, shoulders touching, neither one talking.
"Bucky?"
"Hm?"
"What happened at the bar?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why wouldn't you let me touch your arm?"
He clasped his hands together, looking down at where flesh intertwined with vibranium. Turning his head slightly towards Sophie, he replied at last.
"She broke up with me because of my arm."
"Wait, what?"
He looked back down at his hands.
"I don't understand. You guys have been together nearly three months now, right?"
"Yeah."
"And she's never seen your arm?"
Bucky shook his head. Her entire face scrunched in confusion as she attempted to make sense of this. Suddenly she understood his long sleeved shirt.
"Wait. Have you been wearing those long shirts all summer?!"
"Just around her," he admitted sheepishly.
"But…she's seen your hand! I know she has! You don't wear gloves around her. I don't get it."
Bucky sighed, rubbing his palms quickly against his thighs.
"She thought it was just a prosthetic hand. I told her I'd had an accident when I was in the military and we'd just left it at that. She never asked and I never said anything else."
"But…hadn't she seen it when you two…" the words died on Sophie's lips at the pained expression on his face.
"Ooohhhh…"
The lightbulb went off as the pieces began to fall into place.
"You mean you guys haven't…ever?"
"No," he replied, face strained.
"But, why not? She's all over you all the time. And you look at her like you're going devour her at any second. And, and, I know you have with other women you've dated. Was it her? Was she the delay? I'm so confused."
Bucky laughed mirthlessly as he stood up and began to pace. Her living room was so small and his gait so long that it took him only several steps to get from one side to the next. Sophie was sure she was watching a wild animal in its cage.
"No. It was me. It was all me. It was different with them, ok? Those women…I knew there was no potential there. So it didn't matter. I didn't care what they thought of my arm or if they ended up rejecting me and nothing happened. But with Maggie…I liked her. A lot. And I was scared and nervous and embarrassed. And I didn't want to ruin things before they even got started. So we just…did other stuff."
Sophie watched the flush spread on Bucky's face. His blush surprised her, it was the first time she'd ever seen him like that. And she suddenly realized that despite the fact that they basically talked about everything with each other, sex seemed to have been an unspoken topic they just didn't broach. He finally stopped pacing and sat down beside her again.
"So what happened tonight?"
"Well, things got hot and heavy and I just decided to go for it. So when she tugged at my shirt, I let her take it off. And she was…I guess shocked would be an understatement. She was upset I hadn't told her it was my entire arm. Which I get, and I did manage to smooth over at first. But…"
He paused, gaze firmly set on the coffee table, his mouth working, trying to find the words.
"But…?" Sophie prompted him.
"But as we carried on, she just kept looking at my arm. At my scars. She…wouldn't touch it. And it made me feel so self-conscious. I asked her if it bothered her and she said no, but she hesitated. And I could see it in her face, she was disgusted. After that…I just couldn't…I couldn't…"
His face was bright red now.
"Keep it up?" She supplied.
"Permform."
He couldn't look at her, his humiliation burning his face.
"That's totally understandable."
"Yeah well she didn't think so."
Sophie looked at him puzzled.
"She kept trying to turn me on again but it just wasn't happening. Finally I had to tell her I was sorry but I just couldn't…"
He struggled, gesticulating as he looked for the words.
"Get hard?"
Bucky threw her a dirty look sidelong.
Sophie turned her entire body towards him, tucking her feet underneath her.
"Bucky, it's ok. You don't have to be embarrassed…It's just me."
She tucked his hair behind his ear so she could see his face properly. His eyes darted to her. Her hand drifted down, but instead of returning to her lap, she rested her palm against the seam of his shoulder, gently running her fingers along the scar. He closed his eyes briefly and nodded.
"I know. But it's just weird. We've never talked about stuff like this before. Maybe it's the way I was raised. Talking about sex with Steve and Sam is one thing, but with a female…"
Sophie laughed.
"Then close your eyes and pretend I'm Sam, if that'll help."
Bucky couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips.
"So what happened when you turned her down?"
"She got angry. And she said…"
He swallowed hard, averting his gaze from Sophie.
"She said that if she could still be turned on after seeing that," he gestured towards his shoulder. "Then she didn't understand what my problem was."
"Shit."
"Yeah. As you can imagine, that didn't go over well with me. So we started to argue. It wasn't pretty. But eventually Maggie just said she didn't think this was going to work out and she left."
"I'm so sorry Bucky. But you must know, if she couldn't love you the way you are, love all of you, then she wasn't the right person for you."
"I know. Of course I know that. But it still hurts."
He turned his face fully towards Sophie and she was struck by just how sad he looked. He suddenly reached out and cupped her cheek with his vibranium hand. Sophie leaned into the touch, closing her eyes briefly.
"You should go sleep. It's late and you look exhausted."
She nodded against his palm and stood up.
"It's your fault you know. You overworked me yesterday and now I'm paying the price."
"Yeah, but your ass looked great in those jeans earlier," he grinned devilishly at her.
"James Barnes! You must still be drunk!"
He laughed as she turned off the lights and retreated into her bedroom. Laying back on the couch, Bucky put his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, thinking. Back in her bedroom, Sophie lay still on her back, eyes gazing unseeing into the darkness.
…
Bucky awoke at 8:00am and given his usual rising between 5:30-6:00am it was a testament to just how out of it he'd been. He pulled on his jeans and walked over to the small kitchen, starting the coffee pot. Taking out some ingredients, he set to work on an omelet. Back in the bedroom, Sophie woke up to the sound of chopping and the delicious smell of coffee wafting to her nose. She groaned and dragged herself out of bed. Stepping into the living room, she looked over at Bucky blearily. He paused and stared at her, eyebrows raised.
"Wow. You still look totally out of it. Sorry if I woke you up."
She groaned in response.
"Coffee."
He glanced behind him at the pot.
"It's almost done. Why don't you sit as I make breakfast."
She let out a wary sigh but didn't move. Bucky smiled indulgently and set everything down. He made his way around the counter and walked up to Sophie. Her hair was sticking up on one side in the most endearing manner. Stopping directly in front of her, he smoothed it down gently.
"Are you ok? You don't seem any less tired than last night."
Sophie shrugged, "I guess I just didn't get enough sleep. I'm still so worn out."
He guided her over to a chair, "Sit."
She did as she was told and Bucky returned to the task before him. When the coffee was ready he passed her a steaming up. Cradling the hot mug in her hands she took a small sip. Her phone pinged and she picked it up off the counter to read the message.
Jeremy: You up yet?
Sophie: Just got up.
Jeremy: Great. Come open the door. I've got breakfast.
Sophie sucked in a breath as her stomach bottomed out. Her eyes snapped up to Bucky.
"Shit," she cursed as she lurched off the stool.
Bucky set down his own coffee mug and looked at her in surprise.
"What? What's wrong?"
She walked quickly to her front door without answering him. Pulling it open, Jeremy stood there with a grin on his face, two coffee cups in one hand and a bag in the other. She stepped aside to let him in, holding her breath. He held up his hands, displaying his offerings.
"Coffee, pastries, and a scramble cup for you. Am I the best or what? I figured since you were too tired for a dinner date last night, I'd bring a breakfast date to your door instead."
"Oh, Jeremy…that's so sweet of you. But, um…"
He stepped further inside the apartment and paused. Arms lowering, his face grew cold, twisting in fury. Bucky had turned off the stove and stood near the barstools now, leisurely pulling his shirt on over his head.
"Sophie…What. The. Fuck."
"It's not what you think," Bucky spoke up, his voice calm and even.
"You can shut the fuck up man. I wasn't talking to you."
Sophie could hardly breathe as her lungs seemed to have stopped working. She watched Bucky's eyes narrow and his jaw tick. But he didn't take the bait.
"It's not what it looks like," she said timidly.
"So let me get this straight. Last night, when I wanted to take you out on a nice date, you were too damn tired. But you weren't too tired to fuck him, huh?"
"Hey now," Bucky interjected sharply. "I slept on the couch. Look for yourself."
Jeremy's eyes flickered over and took in the pillow and blanket.
"That doesn't mean anything."
"Nothing happened!" Sophie cried. "Maggie broke up with him last night, he got wasted, I picked him up from the bar and he crashed here. End of story!"
"Oh yeah right. This guy could drink an entire bar and not get wasted! I haven't even seen him buzzed before!"
"You're not totally wrong there," Bucky mumbled.
Sophie turned an angry glare on him.
"You're not helping," she seethed.
"You're telling me that no one else could come get him? That he couldn't walk a few more blocks on his own to his own apartment?"
"Everyone else is out of town right now. He was just dumped. I didn't want him to be alone."
"Of course not. You were more than happy to keep him company, weren't you?" He hissed quietly.
"Jeremy! Nothing happened! You have to believe me!"
"NO!" He bellowed as he advanced on Sophie. "I don't! I'm so tired of playing second fiddle to this guy! I come here to find him half naked in your apartment after you turned me down last night?! WHAT THE FUCK SOPHIE?!"
Jeremy dropped the food where he stood, coffee spattering everywhere. His hands came around her upper arms as he squeezed tightly causing her to whimper. His nose was inches away from her face and Sophie began to cry openly. Bucky jumped in in an instant. Placing a hand against Jeremy's chest, he shoved him away from her. Ever in control of himself, Jeremy merely stumbled despite Bucky's desire to put him through the wall.
"Get the hell out of her face. Over my dead body will you ever touch her like that again."
A wicked gleam appeared in Jeremy's eye.
"And who the fuck do you think you are? Hm? I'm the boyfriend. Not you. You're just the side piece."
Bucky clenched his teeth and took a menacing step forward. Sophie's eyes widened in panic as she jumped between the two men. She placed her hands on Bucky's chest, pushing him back gently.
"No. Bucky, please. Don't."
He tore his eyes away from Jeremy's face and looked down at her. Panic and fear was etched into her features as tears streamed down her face. Taking a deep breath, Bucky regained control over himself and took a half step back.
"And there it is," Jeremy muttered. "All the proof I need. I hope you and fuckboy are happy together."
"Jeremy, please don't do this!" Sophie sobbed.
"I'm done."
He turned around and walked out, the door slamming loudly behind him. Sophie took in a shuddering breath as she stood staring after him. They both remained immobile and silent for several long minutes before either one of them spoke.
"Sophie…I'm so sorry."
"D-don't…"
She slowly turned to face him, her mournful eyes looking straight into his. Sniffling, she didn't bother to wipe the tears off her face.
"I think you should go," she whispered.
"Sophie…"
Her eyes dropped down to the floor and she hugged herself.
"Leave. Please leave," she begged him softly.
For another moment Bucky just stood there watching her, not knowing what to say or do. She took in another shaky breath and more tears began to fall.
"Sophie, please…" he took a step towards her, reaching out.
Her head shot up.
"LEAVE!" She sobbed out.
His arm fell limp at his side. Casting his eyes downward, Bucky gave a small nod and walked past her, the door closing softly behind him.
A/N: Well. There you have it. I was going to add more to this chapter and jump back to present day, but this felt like a good place to stop. Please don't hate me. Anyway, I have SO much stuff planned for next chapter!
PLEASE REVIEW to keep me motivated!
We authors put a tremendous amount of our free time into writing for your enjoyment. It takes mental effort and energy to write, edit, re-edit. We do not get paid. Your favorites, follows, and especially REVIEWS are what keep us going and the only way you all can show your appreciation. So please take a moment to comment :)
Thank you to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter! Your reviews were SO amazing! Alices Rabbit, Guest, MidnightStar, Thorunnironside, NotLoggedIn, Alpinelover, and acquamarina.
Alices Rabbit: Thank you! So in short, yes. Migraines can vary significantly in their symptoms but what I described in the chapter is what a severe migraine looks like.
Guest: Omg thank you so much for your wonderful and long review! I am SO glad I described that accurately! I've only ever had a very mild migraine, but my husband suffers from them (though not quite as bad as what I wrote). Glad to know I wrote it right! And I'm sorry you have to go through that :(
MidnightStar: Gaaahhh! THANK YOU! And you know what? I did too! Hahaha. What can I say? When it comes down to it, I guess I just can't help myself lol! But lets not kid ourselves, the tension is always so delicious.
Thorunnironside: I really appreciate your review! Thank you so much! My husband gets migraines and he's the same way if he doesn't get meds quick enough.
NotLoggedIn: Yay! So happy to see a new reviewers! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and hope you keep reading and reviewing!
Alpinelover: Thanks! Hope you loved the little intro to Alpine :)