Disclaimer: Everything belongs to The Marvel Universe except for my characters Sophie and Jeremy and any other SOs that become introduced – they are my own creations and are not meant to resemble anyone else's OCs in any way.
A/N: Oh boy. This chapter has A LOT. It was another chapter that I had been looking forward to writing so I had a lot of fun with it. I considered breaking it up at several points, but in the end, it just felt like a better flow to wrap up with this flashback in one chapter. There will be more present day in Chapter 7!
Please enjoy and don't forget to leave a REVIEW!
Chapter 6: Mixups and Mistakes
~ 1.5 Years Ago ~
Sophie sank to the floor, her knees crying out in protest as they landed in the scalding puddle of coffee. Putting her face in her hands she began to cry in earnest. Picking up her phone, she dialed Natasha's number. She knew Nat went on a mission with Steve last night but wasn't sure when she would be getting back. Considering they had a breakfast planned for tomorrow, Sophie assumed it would be some time today. But the phone didn't even ring, it just went straight to voicemail. Letting out another sob, she tossed it aside without a care for it getting damaged. At last, she quieted. Looking around, she noted the crumbs of pastry and scrambled eggs scattered across the floor as the now rapidly cooling coffee seeped into her hardwoods.
Standing up on shaky legs, Sophie walked over to her kitchen. She stopped short when she reached the counter. A perfectly made veggie omelet sat cold beside her coffee. Something shattered inside of her and she broke down once more. After several long moments she was able to gather herself at last. Picking up the eggs and the mixings for Bucky's omelet that he hadn't started, she placed everything in the fridge. Then she grabbed some paper towels and started cleaning everything up. Her head ached and she was starting to feel worse by the minute. A violent shiver ran through her body. Slowly, Sophie walked into her bathroom and pulled out her medical kit from under the sink. She took out the thermometer and popped it in her mouth. Sure enough, as the timer went off, it displayed a fever. Sophie groaned.
"100.1 great."
Taking some meds, she dragged herself back to her room and crawled into bed, no longer hungry. As the rest of the morning wore on, she only felt more miserable. She didn't eat and had to force herself to drink water. At last, around two in the afternoon she was roused from her slumber by her phone. The ringer must have been jarred from silent to ON when she threw it earlier. Groaning, she forced herself out of bed and went back to the living room to retrieve it. A rush of relief hit her when she saw Natasha's name and picture flash across the screen.
"Nat!"
*Hey girl. We just landed and I saw I had a missed call from you. What's up?*
"I…I…We…"
And the damn broke again. Sophie began to cry loudly into the phone.
*Sophie, what happened? Are you ok?*
"L-last night…Maggie broke up with Bucky. And I went to the bar to pick him up…"
*Yeah I know. Steve told me.*
"Oh yeah. I forgot he was with you."
She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
*So what happened?*
"Well I wasn't feeling good so we only got as far as my apartment. He was going to drop me off and go on to his place but he'd just been dumbed and I felt guilty leaving him alone so I asked him to stay. And then this morning…he slept on the couch! And nothing happened! But this morning…"
She started gulping air as she choked on her tears.
*Oh no…Jeremy.*
"He came over and saw Bucky shirtless and he just lost it!"
*Oh noooo!*
"It was bad Nat. Like really, really bad. Like they almost came to blows."
*Shit.*
"A lot of really ugly things were said. And Jeremy…he got handsy with me. And he was all up in my face. I've never seen him like this before Nat. It was just awful."
*Holy shit Sophie! What the fuck? I know Bucky didn't take that well.*
"I could see him holding onto his control by a rapidly fraying thread. I literally had to step between them before a brawl broke out."
*Fuck.*
There was silence for a moment as Sophie gathered herself.
"That's not even the end."
*Oh God, there's more?!*
"Jeremy said some pretty awful things to Bucky. And then he dumped me and —"
*Wait. After all that, he dumped you?!*
Sophie ignored Natasha's comment and continued.
"It gets even worse," she moaned.
*I'm having a hard time imagining how.*
"After he left…I was just so upset. And Bucky…I shouted at him and I kicked him out. I've never shouted at Bucky."
*Oh Sophie…*
"And I just feel awful. I know it wasn't his fault. It was mine. It was all mine. I knew Jeremy wouldn't be happy with Bucky staying over, but I asked him to stay anyway."
*He's your friend. And he was hurting. You were trying to do right by him.*
"And now I'm paying the price. I should have just let him go home last night."
*But that wouldn't be you. You care too much.*
"And now to top it all off, I'm sick with a fever."
*Sheesh. You're having a go of it girl. Do you need anything? Want me to bring you some food?*
"No. I have food here. Bucky made me an omelet I never even had a chance to eat," Sophie told her miserably.
Natasha sighed on the other end. The two women were silent for several minutes, each one lost in thought. Finally, Nat broke the quiet.
*Sophie…I have to ask you something.*
"That doesn't sound good."
*Are you sure this isn't a good thing? You and Jeremy being through?*
"Oh my God. Not you too!"
*I just mean…maybe this is a chance for you and Bucky.*
"Nat. Are you insane?!"
*Just hear me out. You guys have crazy chemistry. And this is the first time since…well since you've known each other really, that you're both single.*
"There is nothing going on between me and Bucky! Our chemistry is friendly! We have best friend chemistry!"
*Ok, ok. Well maybe you should call your best friend and apologize for shouting at him.*
"I know. I will. When I feel better. But right now I just want to go lay back down."
*Alright. You go rest. I'll talk to you later.*
Sophie hung up the phone, placed it back on silent, and then flung it on the couch. Dragging herself back into the bedroom, she fell against her pillows and immediately went to sleep.
…
Bucky stood in the shower, the scalding water beating down on his back. He leaned an arm against the cold tile and rested his head on his forearm. As upset as he was about how everything went down that morning, a large part of him was happy they'd broken up. He hated Jeremy. And now, he hoped, so did Sophie. He closed his eyes and tried to will away the image of Jeremy's hands squeezing her arms. Of his face pressed close to hers as he shouted at her. His hand closed into a fist as the urge to hunt him down and strangle him surged through his body.
Turning off the water, he stepped out of the shower and dried off. Walking into his bedroom naked, Bucky sat on the bed, head in his hands. Sophie's heartbroken and wretched expression after Jeremy left filled his vision. He felt so guilty. He knew he shouldn't have agreed to stay over. If she hadn't blamed him for their first breakup, she definitely blamed him for this one. His heart broke at the thought. It shattered even further at the memory of her asking him to leave. Although the breakup with Maggie had been painful, it had nothing on how he was feeling now.
Something soft and fluffy rubbed up against his bicep. Bucky lifted his head and looked over at Alpine. The little kitten was growing like a weed. He sat there staring at the super solider with soulful blue eyes. Leaning forward, he gave his arm another head butt. Bucky smiled slightly and rubbed his head.
"Hey buddy. You must be hungry. Let me get some clothes on and I'll feed you."
After dressing and feeding the hungry feline, Bucky went to sit outside on his balcony. He watched the world move below him as evening turned to dusk. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and navigated to his never ending text chain with Sophie. He stared at it for several minutes. Then at last, his fingers moved over the keyboard.
7:02pm Bucky: I'm sorry Sophie. I'm so sorry. Can we please talk?
He sat down on one of his patio chairs and waited, but no response came.
…
The next morning, Bucky sat at his breakfast bar drinking coffee and staring at his phone. He'd tried Sophie a few more times last night without success.
8:00pm Bucky: Please Sophie, talk to me.
8:30pm Outgoing call to Sophie 3 seconds.
10:00pm Bucky: Ok…I get the picture. But when you're ready, you know where to find me.
He rubbed his face in frustration. Setting the mug down, he pulled on some sweats and set out for his run with Steve.
…
"So Nat told me what happened with Sophie."
"What? How does she know about that?"
"She talked to her yesterday."
"Oh yeah? What did Sophie say?"
"I don't know. She didn't give me any details. Just said you ended up spending the night over there and then Jeremy found out and broke up with her. Then you guys got into a fight."
"We didn't get into a fight. She's pissed at me for the breakup and kicked me out."
"And that's different how?"
"I don't know. It just is."
"Mhm. So what are you going to do about it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean…think of some romantic gesture to earn her forgiveness."
"Romantic?"
"Yeah…you guys are both finally single. Now's your chance Buck."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
The fact that they were both single for the first time since they'd met hadn't even crossed Bucky's mind. But now that it was there, a funny feeling was expanding in his chest.
"Oh come on. Don't tell me you don't have any feelings for her…"
"We're just friends Steve."
"Uh huh."
"Just like you and Nat, right?"
Steve blushed and averted his eyes.
"When did you have time to talk anyway? It's only six am."
"She told me last night."
"So let me get this straight. You spent like 16 hours with her one on one during your mission. Then came home and debriefed together. Then hung out again later?"
"So?"
"When are you finally going to make a move man?" Bucky smirked at his childhood friend.
"We're just friends."
"So you've said."
"So you've said."
"Touché."
…
It was 12:30pm and Bucky sat across from Nat and watched her devour her bolognese.
"Aren't you going to eat?" She asked him. "Your lasagna is getting cold."
"What'd she tell you?"
"Huh?"
"Sophie. Steve said you talked to her yesterday."
Natasha looked at him quizzically.
"She hasn't called you yet?"
"What? No. I tried texting her several times last night but she never responded. Tried calling too but went to voicemail."
"She said she was going to call you."
"She did? So she's not pissed?"
"Pissed? No. Guilty as hell and upset? Definitely."
"Then why is she ignoring me."
"I don't think she's ignoring you Bucky. She said she'd come down with something when we talked. She's probably just not feeling good. I texted her this morning to check in but haven't heard back yet."
"What?! Why the hell didn't you say anything?"
She gave a nonchalant shrug, "Because I offered to come over and she said she didn't need anything. I figured if she did she'd call or text. I didn't want to be a nag. I'm not her mother."
Bucky rolled his eyes at her and sat back, lips pulling down in a frown.
"Great. Just great."
Natasha smirked lightly as she chewed her pasta.
"Why don't you just wave the server over and get a to go box. I'll take care of the check."
"What?"
"I know you're itching to run over there. You have a savior complex. You and Steve both."
"I do not."
She couldn't control the full blown smirk that covered her face now.
"Mhm, whatever you say."
He sat there silently for a beat.
"You sure?"
"Go."
…
Bucky reached up and felt around until he found the spare key hidden atop the door frame. Jamming it into the lock he let himself in to Sophie's apartment, then replaced the key. He closed the door softly behind him and quietly toed off his shoes. Creeping through to the bedroom, he spied the abandoned phone on the couch.
And there it is…
Peeking into the room, he found Sophie curled up under the blankets, face towards the door. Using his assassin skills, Bucky managed to inch towards the bed soundlessly. He gently felt her forehead and cursed silently. She was burning up. He glanced at her bed and noted the bowl beside her pillow, indicating she'd either thrown up or had been nauseous enough to warrant it. Walking back to her bathroom, he grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cold water. Wringing it out, he came back to Sophie and placed it on her forehead. She began to stir at his touch. Bucky knelt down before her, crossing his arms on the bed and resting his chin atop them. Blearily, her eyes fluttered open.
"Am I dreaming?"
He smiled at her.
"Nope."
"What are you doing here?"
"Nat told me you were sick. I came to be your knight in shining armor."
"Ugh, go away," she playfully shoved his head to the side.
He let her do it and released another tiny smile. But the humor ebbed away from Sophie's face quickly.
"Wait. Don't go away. I don't mean that…"
Bucky tucked his chin behind his arms and looked up at her with wary eyes.
"Bucky, I'm sorry about earlier. Honestly I'm surprised you're here."
"Why?"
"Aren't you made at me?"
"Why would I be mad at you?" He asked her softly.
"I yelled at you."
"I caused your breakup."
"That wasn't your fault. I should have let you go home instead of asking you to come up with me."
He mulled over her words for a moment.
"I'm glad you didn't."
"Really?"
"Yeah…I needed that talk."
He put his cheek down on his forearms as his eyes locked with hers.
"I needed that reminder that someone out there will love me despite all of this."
Sophie frowned slightly, "No, not despite, Bucky. Because everything you've gone through, everything you've survived, the scars you're left with…like your arm…they've shaped you into who you are. You're going to find someone who loves every bit of you and your arm will be such a non-issue you'll forget it's a prosthetic."
Bucky smiled at her.
"You'll find someone too you know. Someone better than Jeremy."
She felt her bottom lip wobble slightly and had to take a deep breath before she spoke.
"I don't want to find someone else."
"Sophie…"
"Let's not talk about it right now."
"Ok. Here, let me check your temp."
She opened her mouth and he placed the thermometer in there. A few seconds later it beeped.
"Well damn."
"How high is it?"
"Reading at 102. When's the last time you took meds?"
She glanced at the clock, "Tylenol about four hours ago."
Bucky stood up, placing the thermometer back on her nightstand, "Alright, well let me get you some ibuprofen."
He helped her sit up and turned to leave. But before he could step away she grabbed his arm.
"Bucky…I don't feel so good."
He spun back around.
"Uh oh. You gonna throw up?"
She clenched her jaw shut and nodded. Bucky dived for the bowl and shoved it in front of Sophie just in time. Holding her hair back with one hand, he braced her with the other as she clutched the bowl and vomited. She stopped and spit a few times.
"Is this payback for before?" He asked her jokingly.
"Don't," she moaned.
"You done?"
Sophie shook her head a few times before leaning forward and throwing up again. At last, she grabbed the bottle of water beside her and swished her mouth, before spitting it out into the bowl.
"Done."
He took the bowl and cleaned it out, then retrieved her meds. After swallowing it down, she laid back on the bed, wrapped securely in her blanket. Bucky lay atop the covers and pulled Sophie into him.
"You're so freaking warm," she murmured into his chest.
He felt her shiver against him and held her tighter.
…
It took Sophie a few more days to recover and she ended up having to call in sick. But even once she was back at work, the rest of the week she still felt off. Fatigue and an uneasy stomach plagued her constantly. The days dragged on until at last, it was Saturday morning. She sighed from her barstool in her kitchen. Bucky was busy slicing them up some fruit as the coffee brewed. It had become a regular this past week for them to spend the night together. After having done it twice previously, sharing a bed just felt natural. There was nothing sexual about it, but they both craved the companionship. And so they vacillated between her place and his and though they both knew this wasn't sustainable in the long term, they were happy to enjoy it for the time being.
"How you doing over there?" Bucky spared her a quick glance before pulling a waffle off the iron.
"Ughhhh. I don't know what I was sick with but this thing has kicked my butt. Is it ever going to end? Am I ever going to feel better again?!"
He laughed lightly, "You will. Just give your body some time. You can spend all day laying in bed and watching tv today if you want. You have nothing else you have to do."
She groaned and put her head in her hands.
"Here. Coffee."
"Mmmm thank you. You're a saint."
"Hardly."
She swiped her phone open and navigated to her calendar, checking to make sure that she didn't actually have commitments this weekend. Sophie's blood suddenly ran cold as her stomach bottomed out. Feeling her mouth go dry she slowly set her coffee down. Her heart was racing and she was suddenly feeling faint.
Oh my God no. No no…no no no no no!
"Oh my God! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!"
She leapt off the chair and began pacing, hands covering her mouth in horror. Bucky dropped the waffle he was transferring as he rounded the counter to get to her.
"What? What is it? What happened?!" He ask her in a panic.
She turned her wide and hysterical eyes towards him.
"Bucky I…"
But she couldn't get the words out. The fear was rising like a tide, choking her until she couldn't breathe. She started gasping for air.
"Breathe Sophie!" Bucky nearly shouted at her.
He tried to place his hands on her shoulders to calm her but she wouldn't be still enough for him to grab her.
"What's going on?"
"I'M LATE!" Sophie finally screamed at him. "I'm three days late and I'm never late!"
Bucky paused, arms dropping down to his sides as his brows lifted in bewilderment.
"Huh? Late? Late for what?"
She stared at him in horrified disbelief, her mouth dropping open slightly.
"Bucky," she said slowly. "I'm late."
He continued to blink at her.
"I'm missing something here…"
"My period Bucky! Oh my God! I think I'm pregnant!" She wailed.
Bucky felt a cold dread wash through him and punch him straight in the gut with a force he hadn't felt since he'd fought Steve. His mouth was dry and it took him a moment to find his voice.
"But…You might not be, right? Three days…that's not that late, right? And aren't you on the pill? You can't be pregnant…"
She looked at him like he'd been dropped on his head.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT ALL MEANS SOPHIE! I'M A GUY!"
"I'M NEVER LATE! And I've been tired and feeling sick to my stomach. Plus the pill isn't 100%! Oh my God!"
(Even If It Hurts - Sam Tinnesz)
Bucky looked as if he might be sick. He was just as flustered as she was. Sophie was crying now as she continued to walk back and forth, panic breathing. He finally caught hold of her and stilled her before him, one hand on each of her shoulders. Bucky took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his nose. He let his soldier training kick in and he worked on calming himself down enough to think rationally.
"Take a deep breath before you pass out. Watch me. Slowly in…and out…good. Again. Keep doing that."
Sophie followed his directions until her breathing eased.
"Now, spell it out for me. Are you for sure pregnant?"
"N-no. But probably," she whispered in terror.
"Ok. Ok. Do you have a pregnancy test?"
She shook her head quickly.
"Alright. I'll go get one. You sit and eat something. I'll be right back."
"Sit and eat?! Are you insane?!"
"I don't fucking know!" He growled back at her as he pulled a shirt over his head and shoved his feet into his shoes. "Just…I'll be right back!"
Sophie renewed her pacing, her entire body feeling jittery with anxiety. She watched the clock move at a miserably slow pace while she waited for him to return. She needed to nervous pee but held it, knowing what was to come. At last, he reentered the apartment, carrying a small plastic bag.
"What took you so long?!" Sophie howled.
"There was a line!" Bucky replied defensively.
He kicked his shoes off and walked over to her.
"Here. I got two different ones just in case."
She took the boxes from him with shaking hands. Tearing them both open, she read the instructions. Bucky hovered over her shoulder, reading as well.
"Ok…um…I need a cup," she looked up at him, momentarily forgetting they were in her apartment and not his.
"A cup?"
"Yes a cup! I'm doing two tests and I don't know how much pee I have!"
"Ok, calm down."
Walking over to her kitchen he reached up into one of her upper cabinets and pulled out a plastic souvenir cup he'd seen in there before.
"Here."
She grabbed it from him and rushed into the bathroom. Following the instructions, she finally finished up and capped both tests, laying them on the counter. Flushing and washing her hands, Sophie opened the door to let Bucky in.
"Ok. Set a timer for three minutes."
"Gotcha."
She grabbed the tests from the counter and sank down onto the bathroom floor, placing the tests face down to her left. Bucky stepped inside and sat beside her, the tests directly between them. Sophie brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Bucky," she whispered without looking at him. "What am I going to do?"
He reached over and grabbed one of her hands, pulling it off her knee.
"You'll be fine. Everything will be fine."
"But what if I'm really pregnant? We just broke up…and I don't think he actually even wants kids!"
"You guys never talked about it?"
"Not exactly. But he's always making annoyed comments about other people's kids. Like how they smell and they're loud and sticky."
Bucky laughed, "Yeah but that's part of their charm."
"He doesn't see it that way. Bucky…what if I'm pregnant? I want kids…but not now. Not like this. I can't do it on my own…"
"You won't be on your own. I'll help you. Every step of the way."
"But the baby wouldn't even be yours. And you hate Jeremy."
"But the baby would be yours. And I love you."
Sophie sniffled while more tears leaked out.
"Plus you have Steve and Nat and Sam. I'm sure they'd help you too."
"It's not their responsibility. Or yours."
"But I'd still be there for you. And for the baby. Always."
Sophie tore her hand away from him and hugged her knees again. She buried her face in her arms and sobbed. Bucky swallowed hard, the anxiety eating away at his heart. Glancing at the clock, the timer displayed one more minute in the countdown. He felt sick even at the thought of the words, but they needed to be said. Sophie needed to hear them.
"Sophie?" He ventured quietly.
She pulled her head up and looked at him through watery eyes.
"You know you have options, right?"
His voice was low and quiet. Her eyes widened slightly, lips parting.
"No one would fault you if you decided to give the baby up. But…if you chose not to keep it at all…I'd be the only one who knew. I'd go with you, if that's what you wanted to do."
Her mouth was so dry she had to swallow several times before she could reply. Heart thudding painfully hard in her chest, she looked down at the floor as she considered his words. But deep down, despite being prochoice, she knew full well she couldn't personally go through with either of those options. Besides, she and Jeremy had been happy together, once.
"I couldn't," she whispered. "If I'm pregnant, I'm going to keep the baby."
She felt him gently pick up her hand again and squeeze lightly.
"Then I'll help you," he told her softly.
Her heart compressed so painfully she gasped as her head snapped towards him. Their eyes locked. She squeezed back tightly. They were still looking at each other, holding hands, when the timer went off. Bucky let go first. Sophie continued to sit there, immobile.
"Soph…you have to see what it says."
"I can't," she choked out. "I'm scared."
"I know…but you have to look."
She shook her head and suddenly shoved the tests towards him.
"I can't. You do it."
"What?"
"You look first. Please Bucky. You do it."
His eyes roved over her terrified face momentarily before he slowly reached down and picked up the tests. He looked at them with a passive face.
"Well?! What do they say? Am I pregnant?!"
Face still devoid of emotion, he flipped them around so she could see.
"You're not pregnant," he breathed out.
She stared at the pink and blue tests in his hand: one pink bar and one blue minus sign. Sophie let out a massive shuddering breath.
"I'm not pregnant," she whispered, eyes wide.
"You're not pregnant," he repeated.
Sophie crumbled. Face in her hands she began to sob as relief flooded through her body. Bucky tossed the tests into the trash and pulled her to him. He placed her between his bent knees and wrapped his arms around her. Turning into him, she pressed her face into his chest and cried hard. Burying his own face in her hair, he closed his eyes and held her quietly.
Thank God she's not pregnant. Thank you, thank you, thank you God.
Since his Winter Soldier days, Bucky wasn't even sure he believe in God anymore. But in this moment, he had faith. He heard Sophie sniffle loudly before she pulled away from him a bit. Glancing down at her, he watched as she wiped her eyes and peered up at him through her lashes.
"James Buchanan Barnes, I hope you know just how good you are. You are…" she took in a deep breath before continuing. "You are the best man that I know."
He looked back at her puzzled. Cocking her head slightly, a small knowing smile slipped onto her face.
"You were willing to help me raise another man's child. A child that would have been fathered by someone you despise. If that doesn't show how amazing you are, I don't know what does."
Bucky looked back at her seriously before reaching up and moving her hair out of her face. He tucked the thick locks behind one ear.
"Anything for you, Sophie. You know that."
She nodded slightly.
"I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I don't know what I'd do without you Bucky."
Sophie reached up and placed her left palm against his face. Then leaning forward, she touched her lips feather light to his.
"Thank you," she breathed out as she pulled away from him.
Bucky was stunned. In that moment, he didn't know what came over him. But it felt like his stomach was in a tailspin. The sudden urge to reach out and pull her back to him was overwhelming. Without realizing what he was doing, he'd leaned in towards her. Sophie reached over and grabbed some toilet paper to blow her nose. The action reoriented him and he immediately jerked back. He breathed in deeply to calm himself.
You're just coming down from the emotional high from earlier. That's it. Don't look into it too much. This was nothing.
"You know," she said as she turned back towards him. "One of these days, you're going to find someone who sees just how incredible you are. And then none of the other stuff will matter."
She twisted around again to grab some more toilet paper and dabbed her face, back still to him. Bucky watched her with an intense, soul searching gaze.
"Yeah," he breathed, eyes never leaving Sophie. "Maybe."
…
(Don't Be So Shy - T3nzu)
Something was pulling Bucky out of a deep slumber. There was a noise, something not entirely unpleasant. Then something soft and warm pressing up against him. His eyes stayed shut as his hands began to rove. Confusion clouded his mind and at last his lids cracked open. In the dim light drifting in through the crack of his curtains he could just make out Sophie's face. She was pressed flush against him, lips parted slightly as a light blush graced her cheeks. She was asleep, but breathing heavily. And then it happened again, her brows furrowed just slightly and a small noise leaked from her mouth.
That wasn't…was it?
He'd never heard Sophie moan before but he was pretty sure there was no other word for the noise that just escaped her lips. Bucky felt her press her hips tightly against his and his body reacted immediately. He didn't know what to do. Should he wake her? Let her continue? The longer he lay there watching her, the harder he was getting. Without conscious volition, his hand moved to her leg and skimmed up her thigh. She let out a breathy sound that made his cock twitch. She was dressed in his white t-shirt and he knew for a fact she had no bra on — he could feel her nipples against his chest through the thin fabric. But now, now he had to know if she had any panties on or not. His fingers moved higher and landed on her hip. He felt lace and had to swallow hard. His large hand covered her hip bone as she whimpered under his touch. Thumb tracing circles, he decided he had to wake her, it was the right thing to do.
"Sophie…wake up Sophie…"
Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed at him through her lashes. He wasn't sure if the look in her eye was glazed over from sleep or arousal but either way it was incredibly erotic. He felt his cock pulse again, now reaching a painful stiffness. His member was trapped between their two bodies and he knew there was no way Sophie couldn't feel it. But she didn't seem to mind. She wasn't upset or disgusted. She continued to lay there and stare at him.
"Bucky…"
"Yeah Sophie?"
"I want you."
That was all he needed to hear. He reached over and grabbed the back of her head. Bringing her face to his, he kissed her deeply. She immediately responded, kissing him back as she hooked her left leg over his right hip. He rolled them over quickly, pressing her into the mattress with his weight. Sophie moaned loudly and the sound was more beautiful than anything he'd ever heard. Bucky's teeth tugged lightly on her bottom lip as he ground himself against her. Hips lifting to meet his, she whimpered into his mouth.
Bucky reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt, lifting it slowly over her body. His mouth kissed each inch of skin he exposed as she writhed beneath him. He tossed it on the floor, then removed his boxers, letting them join the shirt. Looking down at Sophie, he drank in the sight of her body beneath him. She wore only a pair of dark green, lace panties and she was beautiful.
"Bucky," she rasped out as his eyes flew to her face. "Please. Enough teasing. I need you."
Bucky didn't need to be told twice. He yanked her panties down and covered her with his body. She parted her legs gladly, wrapping them around his waist. Grabbing her hands, he entwined their fingers together and brought them up above her head. Nudging her folds apart with the head of his cock he inched inside of her.
"Unngg," she moaned breathily.
He tried to control himself, but the noises she was making were tearing his will power to shreds. His hips bucked forward and he sank into her to the hilt. Sophie gasped, her own hips thrusting to meet him.
"Yessss…" she hissed, "Oh God yes…"
She was so hot and wet around him, he had to take a moment to compose himself. Setting a moderate pace to start with, Bucky began to push into her hard and deep. But she was already so aroused, it wasn't enough.
"Aaahhh…Bucky. I need more. Fuck me, please fuck me. Hard."
"God damn it Sophie…I…."
But he couldn't finish the sentence. His mind was a jumbled mess of pleasure. He squeezed her hands harder as he pressed them down. Head resting on the pillow beside her, Sophie could feel his hot breath panting against her neck. It made her nipples harden against his chest. Bucky felt her tighten her legs around him as his pace increased.
"Let go," she breathed into his ear. "Let go of your self-control. I want all of you Bucky. Give me all of you."
The last thread snapped. He began to buck wildly, letting his cock forcefully stroke her sensitive spots over and over. Sophie was writhing frantically and moaned loudly as she moved her hips in time with his. Flesh slapped against flesh, their slick bodies quickly moving over each other.
"Fuck Sophie! I need you to come for me!"
She shut her eyes tight and tipped her head back as she worked herself along his thick cock.
"Oooohh my G-God…B-Bucky…"
Sophie could feel the beginnings of her orgasm coil low and deep. Bucky nipped her at the junction of her neck and shoulder just as he thrust into her hard. It sent her over the edge at last. She came with a scream, her walls clamping down on his throbbing cock.
"YES! FUCK BUCKY! YESSS!"
All thought and reason had left Bucky at this point. The sound of his name tumbling from her lips mid-orgasm released something within him. The bed knocked against the wall behind it with an impressive force as he continue to fuck her. He could feel Sophie's walls still fluttering rhythmically around him as her release continued. And suddenly he was joining her.
"FUCK YES! Oh my God Sophie, Sophie! Unngggg!"
Bucky's aching cock pulsed as it shot out ropes of cum over and over. He bent his head low and kissed Sophie deeply, still nestled inside of her.
…
Bucky shot up in bed, coming awake with a start.
"What the fuck?!"
He sat there panting in the dark, waiting for his heart rate to come down. At last he pulled back the sheets and grimaced at the mess he'd made. He hadn't had a wet dream since he'd been a teenager. Granted, at this point, it had been months since he'd bedded anyone.
"But still…Sophie?! What the hell is wrong with me?"
Running a hand over his face, he slipped out of bed and made his way to the bathroom to clean up.
…
It had been a month now, and Bucky still couldn't get that dream out of his head. He tried to act as normal around Sophie as he could, but try as he might, he couldn't stop picturing her screaming his name every time he closed his eyes. Steve's words haunted him, telling him to seize the opportunity now that they were both free and available. But never before had Bucky every allowed himself to entertain that idea. Not since the first day that they'd met and he found out she was on a date with someone else. He shut that down immediately and had not revisited the notion since. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he took in a deep breath and rolled his shoulders.
"Now's not the time, Buck. You've got shit to do," he muttered to himself as he picked up his phone.
…
Sophie's phone rang as she sat on her balcony reading a book. She immediately picked up, not bothering to check the caller ID.
*Hey Sophie. You busy?*
"Hey Bucky! No, I'm just reading. What's up?"
*Can you um…*
There was some shuffling and other noises as he seemed to get distracted and lose his train of thought.
"Can I…?"
*Sorry. Can you come over right now?*
"You sound really distracted."
*I am distracted.*
"What's going on? Everything ok?"
*Yeah. Fine. Can you just come over? I'll explain then.*
"Ummm, ok then."
*Ok great. See you in a few.*
And he hung up before she could respond.
…
Sophie knocked on Bucky's door and stood waiting.
"It's open!" She heard him call from inside.
Turning the knob, she let herself into his apartment and was immediately greeted by Alpine. The feline wove between her feet purring and begging for attention.
"Hey there fluff ball!" She laughed as she picked him up.
The cat nuzzled her chin and allowed himself to be carried.
"He's getting so big!"
"Yeah, he is," Bucky responded from his bedroom.
"What are you doing in there? What's going on?"
But just as the question left her lips, Bucky came flying into the living room. He wore his tactical gear and carried a large black duffle bag. Setting the bag down on the couch he paused and looked around for a moment. Then retreated back into the bedroom, only to emerge a moment later carrying a few pairs of boxers. Sophie watched him stuff them into the duffle and then zip it up.
"Hey," he finally addressed her as he came up and kissed her on the cheek.
"Hey yourself. You've got a mission?"
"Yeah. That's why I needed you to come over. I've got a huge ask."
"Ok."
Bucky suddenly turned away from her, distracted again. He patted himself down, then wandered back into the bedroom. A few minutes later he came out carrying a back holster. Sophie watched as he tugged it on and secured the straps.
"Bucky?"
He looked up at her questioningly.
"You wanted to ask me something…?"
"Oh, right."
"What in the world is going on with you?"
"Sorry. Sorry. This mission was super last minute and I have to be out of here I like ten minutes. I'm trying to run through my mental checklist. Anyway, the ask…I need you to take care of Alpine while I'm gone. Apparently this is going to be a pretty big thing. We're basically all going and it looks like the mission is going to take around a week to complete. That's what they're guessing anyway. So…I don't have anyone else to ask. I know it's a lot but —"
"Bucky, stop. Of course I'll come take care of him."
"Really?"
"Did you actually have any doubts?"
He shrugged, then reached over and grabbed a handgun from his breakfast bar that she hadn't noticed was there. Sophie watched him silently as he slipped it into the holster on his thigh. Then he grabbed the two knives that had been resting beside it. Flipping them a few times, he peered at the blades before sliding them into pockets, one on each leg.
"Do you keep those at home?"
"Yeah," he breathed out warily. "I do."
"Where in the world do you hide those things? I've never seen them before."
"Somewhere safe," he eyed Sophie with a frown.
"Somewhere safe?" She parroted him. "What? Are you afraid I'm going to steal them and hold you hostage or something?"
She was teasing him but Bucky was dead serious as he watched her.
"It's not about my safety, Sophie. It's about yours. I keep them at the house because with my history and my occupation I would be an idiot not to. But I also don't want to risk anyone innocent getting hurt. So they're here, they're kept safe. And that's all you need to know."
Sophie sobered at his grave tone. This was clearly something he took very seriously and did not consider a laughing matter.
"Ok," she replied softly.
They stood there awkwardly for a moment before she finally broke the silence.
"So does this mean we have shared custody now?"
Bucky finally cracked a smile.
"Sure. I'll need you to come by every day to feed him and change out his water. Make sure you clean the litter box too. This asshole will shit in my bathtub if it's not cleaned."
"He's not an asshole! He just wants a clean place to do his business!"
"Yeah, yeah."
Bucky gave the cat an affectionate smile and pulled him from Sophie's arms. He continued to hold him as the cat purred contentedly in his arms.
"Here, I've just written out some notes on how much to feed him and what not. The vet's info is on the bottom of the page. Hopefully you won't need it."
"Aww, you wrote out a care plan for him! That's so cute!"
Sophie received a glower in response and she sniggered. At last, Bucky set the cat down and leaned the right side of his body on the breakfast bar. He held something up in his right hand, elbow resting on the counter. His face had a cautious expression as he looked at Sophie.
"You'll need this."
Stretching his hand out, she met him half way and allowed him to drop the object into her palm. She stared at it for a moment, then looked back up at Bucky.
"You made me a key?"
He frowned, cocking his head away from her slightly.
"I made Maggie a key. But I never had a chance to give it to her."
"Well shit. I knew you were really into her, but I didn't realize it had been that serious."
"Yeah…well…it's over now. So it doesn't matter."
She rolled the metal object around in her hand, her heart and stomach clenching uncomfortably.
"Anyway, you can keep it. It's probably a good idea for someone to have a spare and let's be honest, this is likely not the last time I'll need you to do this."
"Ok, sure," she said softly.
Suddenly pushing away from the counter, Bucky bent down and gave Alpine a loving scratch behind the ears. Then he snatched up his duffle bag and walked over to Sophie, standing directly in front of her.
"Thanks again," he told her gently.
Then he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"I've gotta go. I'm already late."
"Ok."
Sophie turned and watched him walk swiftly to the door.
"Hey Bucky?"
He turned around, brows raised in question.
"Hm?"
"Be careful."
He gave her an excruciatingly charming smirk.
"Sure thing doll."
She sighed as the door closed behind him. Alpine curled around her feet, meowing softly. She bent down and picked up the feline.
"Well handsome, guess it's just you and me now. What a wild Friday night!"
…
Wednesday evening Sophie decided to get soup and a sandwich from the corner deli by Bucky's place and have dinner with Alpine. She sat on the couch with the cat curled in her lap as she watched TV and polished off the last of her food. Her fingers ran rhythmically through the soft fur as he purred gently. When her phone rang, she picked it up without looking at the caller ID, something that she seemed to have a bad habit of doing.
"Hello?"
There was a moment's silence on the other end.
"Hey baby."
Sophie nearly choked on the last bite of her sandwich.
"Jeremy?"
"Yeah…how are you? You been ok?"
"Jeremy…it's been over a month. Why are you calling me?"
Her heart pounded furiously in her chest as it went to war with her brain.
"I…" he sighed deeply into the phone. "I miss you Sophie. Do you think we could meet up to talk? Please."
"I don't know…"
"I know I messed up. I messed up so bad. Please. Just give me an hour of your time. Please, Sophie."
She swallowed hard, her heart winning the battle, "Yeah ok."
She heard him let out a sigh of relief.
"Great. Are you free for lunch tomorrow? I have a client meeting near your building at 1pm. I can pick you up at 11:45 maybe?"
"Yeah, sure. That'll work."
"Ok. I'm looking forward to seeing you. Goodnight Sophie."
"Goodnight."
She hung up the phone, wondering what she'd just agreed to.
…
Sophie was already standing outside of Avengers Tower by the time Jeremy showed up. He made to kiss her in greeting but she turned her face and his lips landed on her cheek.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "Old habits."
"It's ok."
They set off down the street together in silence. They walked only a block before choosing a sushi place that she liked to frequent during her lunch breaks. Throughout the whole process of being seated, looking at the menu, and ordering, there hung an awkward quiet between them. It was punctuated only occasionally by random remarks coming from either party. At last, their waiter walked away with their orders and they were left with nothing to do but actually talk.
"Ok, umm…" Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I'm just going to be completely up front here. I miss you. A lot. I was a fucking idiot and I completely lost my cool and I am so, so sorry for the things I said to you and how I treated you. Walking in that morning…seeing you there with him…half naked…it…I…" he took a deep breath, his jaw ticking. "I snapped and I lost control of myself in a way that I swear will never happen again."
"I appreciate that. It was…I know how it must have looked to you. And for that I'm sorry. But what about Bucky?"
"What about him?" He asked sharply.
"You accused him of a lot of false and nasty things. You said some pretty messed up stuff Jeremy."
"Maybe, but if you're looking for an apology to him, you're not going to find one here."
Sophie scowled at him.
"I love you Sophie. God help me, after everything, I still love you. But it's no secret that I don't like Bucky or your relationship with him. I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about me."
"Then I don't know how you expect to make anything between us work. He's my best friend, Jeremy. Please don't ask me to pick between you two. Don't make me do that," she whispered tensely.
Their food arrived and they paused, the strain of their conversation hanging heavy between them.
"I know. I'm not asking you to."
Sophie eyed him cautiously as she ate her sushi.
"So does this mean you're considering forgiving me?" Jeremy asked hopefully.
She had spent most of last night thinking rather than sleeping. She couldn't deny that she had missed Jeremy too. They'd been together for so long now that in a lot of ways he'd become a part of her, just as Bucky had. When they'd broken up, despite how it'd ended, it felt like a piece of her was missing. But she battled inside, knowing all the facts of his personality and his clash with her best friend made it difficult to decide what was best. There were times when she wasn't certain that they fit together. Times where her edges didn't seem to piece together with his grooves. But in the end, she wondered if it was a fool's dream to find someone who fit her perfectly. Everyone fought, every couple had their own issues, there was no such thing as a flawless relationship. Even she and Bucky had their share of squabbles.
"Maybe," she conceded.
Sophie couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her lips as Jeremy beamed at her.
"That still doesn't solve the issue that you have with Bucky though."
"No. But maybe setting down some ground rules would help?"
"Ground rules? Like what?"
"Like…I know you're going to be hanging out with him, but maybe don't talk about him with me, ok? And…no more sleepovers. Not at his place, not at yours, not on the couch, just no more. That's a hard line for me."
"Yeah…ok. I can do that," she said quietly.
"And…"
"And?"
"And I need to be your priority. Not him. I need to know that I'm your number one."
That should have been easy enough for Sophie to agree to. But something about it made her stomach twist in an unpleasant way. She swallowed hard.
This is it. You have to decide now. Do you want to give this another shot? Because if you do, you have to commit fully. All the way. Jeremy is right, he has to be your number one. That's the way these things work.
Her mind drifted back to how Bucky was with Maggie. There had been no doubt in her mind that at that time, Maggie had been his number one, not her. She looked Jeremy in the eye.
"Ok."
…
Bucky drove his bike through the thick traffic at a leisurely pace. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than a hot shower and his bed. It was Saturday night and the streets were alive with both tourists and locals alike. As he idled at a red light, he watched people stream by in a blur of colors, lights and movements. He felt on edge. The mission had been a success but had taken a toll on him. He was bruised, both physically and emotionally. A large part of him hoped Sophie would be there when he walked into his apartment. He closed his eyes briefly and imagined holding her as he drifted off to sleep — her body warm and soft against his, reminding him that he was ok.
At last he pulled into the underground garage for his apartment building. Parking the bike, he slowly trudged to the elevator. Once he got to his door, he placed the key into the lock and turned. Stepping inside, he knew at once that Sophie was there. Her shoes lay neatly placed near the door and the gentle scent of her ever present perfume wafted into his nose. He stepped inside and she nearly leapt off the couch at the sight of him, a guilty expression crossing her face.
"Hey there!" She greeted a little too loudly.
"Hey Soph."
…
After receiving the text that he'd landed, Sophie decided to make her way over to Bucky's apartment. Despite what he'd told her, she knew she needed to return the key — and to break the news to him. Her insides twisted and churned painfully as she thought about his reaction to her reunion with Jeremy. She knew Bucky wasn't going to take it well and didn't relish the idea of telling him. But it had to be done, sooner rather than later. So she'd decided to bite the bullet and just spit it all out then and there. So she sat now, impatiently waiting for him on his couch. Alpine lay curled up beside her, fast asleep. The second the lock clicked, she felt her heart jump into her throat. Sophie heard the door open and then his slow pace into the apartment. She shot up from the couch, feeling nervous as hell.
But when he greeted her, all courage seemed to fail. He looked exhausted and worn down. As she took in his face, she noted the spectacular black eye that was starting to bloom in various shades of blue and purple. Slowly yanking off his boots, he nearly limped past her to the bedroom. Alpine was up now, following dutifully behind him.
"How'd it go?" He called back to her.
"Fine. Alpine was great. No problems at all."
"Ok good," he replied softly as he reemerged, sans weapons.
A pained grimace crossed over his face as he began to undo the back holster and then slowly all the straps and zips of his jacket.
"Are you ok?" Sophie asked him gently.
"Yeah. I'm fine. It was…" he grit his teeth as he attempted to pull off the clothing.
Sophie swiftly walked over to him and assisted in tugging the jacket down his arms.
"Thanks," he muttered. "It was an eventful mission, to say the least."
"You look like hell."
"Gee, thanks."
He took the jacket from her and started making his way back into the bedroom. Throwing it down on the floor, his hands began to gingerly ease his t-shirt up over his head. Sophie followed him. Standing directly behind him, she grasped the hem of the shirt and helped him pull it up over his head. She gasped sharply at the sight of the enormous bruise that traveled from his left shoulder, across his back and down to the opposite hip. There was a large bandage taped over a good portion of it, blood clearly seeping through.
"Bucky!"
"I'm fine," he ground out.
"You're not fine. You're bleeding through your bandages!"
"It'll last until tomorrow."
"What?"
"I'll go into Stark's clinic tomorrow."
She eyed him skeptically. If there was one thing Sophie had learned about Bucky over all these years, it was that he would avoid going into any medical clinic or seeing a doctor at all costs.
"I promise," he said, as if reading her thoughts.
"And what about tonight?"
He sat down heavily on the bed.
"I have some bandages here. I need to take a shower but then maybe you can help me change them? And honestly, if you're ok with it, I'd really like to just crash after that."
The implication was clear. Bucky was expecting Sophie to spend the night. She swallowed as a stone settled deep within her chest.
Now or never.
"Um…I can't stay Bucky."
He looked up at her warily.
"Oh, ok."
"I um…I need to return this to you. You can give it back to me the next time you need me to watch Alpine. But until then, you should keep it."
Bucky looked up at her in confusion as his fingers closed around his key.
"Sophie, what's going on?"
She took a step away from him.
"I have to tell you something," she started quietly.
"Ok…that doesn't sound good."
"Jeremy and I…"
She watched every muscle in his body tense at Jeremy's name. Bucky sat up straight, his jaw clenching, fist closing tight around the key.
"Jeremy and I are back together. And we've decided to set some ground rules for our relationship so we have the best chance of making things work this time. And one of those rules is no more sleepovers. And I think he's right. I'm with Jeremy. I shouldn't be spending the night with another man. Even if it's on the couch."
She was drawing a line in the sand and making the rules of their friendship very clear. Bucky shot up, his body protesting the sudden movement.
"Sophie, why?"
Looking at the hurt and confused ocean depths of his eyes was too much. Sophie turned away from him.
"After everything that happened, all the things he said…Sophie, he laid hands on you! Why in the world would you want to get back together with him?!"
She whirled back around.
"Because! Because I've given that relationship over two years of my life! It can't all have been for nothing! I'm not…I'm not ready to give up on us. He lost his temper and it was my fault. He's never behaved like that and I know he won't ever do it again."
"You don't know that," he breathed. "You can do so much better than Jeremy. Don't you see that? He's not right for you! He doesn't care about you as your own person. You're just an accessory to him in his fancy life! Your opinions, your needs and wants…they don't matter to him. Jeremy will always put himself first! Why are you doing this to yourself? How are you so willing to change or squash down who you are for him? You are worth so much more than this!"
Sophie stared at Bucky, heart pounding furiously, mouth dry. She didn't want to listen to him, to hear what he was saying. She'd made up her mind and if she listened too hard she might regret her decision. She might want to backtrack.
"I'm not asking for your permission, Bucky."
Her voice was low and cold, stopping him in his tracks. His mouth clamped shut and he straighten up. Arms dropping to his sides he looked at her a with forlorn gaze.
"He asked me to move in."
Bucky felt his stomach drop and a cold dread crept up his spine.
"What did you say?" he asked quietly.
"I told him I need to think about it."
They stared each other down in silence.
"Don't do this," he said at last, his voice low and pleading.
"It's already done. I was just letting you know."
Eyes dropping to the ground, he shook his head slowly in disappointment.
"Do you want me to help you with your bandages before I go?"
"No."
"Bucky…"
He kept his eyes fixed on a spot on the floor somewhere in front of her feet.
"I've done it myself before. I can do it by myself now. I don't need you," he replied evenly.
The words were like a knife twisting in her chest. She swallowed hard, willing the tears stinging her eyes to disappear, lest she let them fall on her cheeks. Sophie nodded once even though he still refused to look at her. Then turning on her heel, she left. Bucky shifted his feet backwards until his legs hit the bed. He sat down heavily, face in his hands. Taking a moment to compose himself, he slowly limped into the bathroom. After peeling off his bandages he climbed into the hot shower and stood under the spray, watching the water turn red beneath his feet. Even though the wound was treated in the field it was clearly going to need stitches. As loath as he was to do it, Bucky knew he'd have to go into the clinic tomorrow. Heaving out a huge sigh he stepped out and dried off as best he could. Leaning against the bathroom counter he watched himself in the mirror as he bandaged his back as best he could while Alpine weaved between his legs. At last, he dragged himself back to bed, flipping onto his stomach to avoid aggravating his injury any further. He grabbed his pillow and closed his eyes, drifting immediately into a fitful sleep as Alpine settled in somewhere near his feet.
…
Two months hadn't been enough time to mend whatever it was that had broken between Bucky and Sophie. Instead of texting and calling multiple times a day, they'd been reduced to just lunchtime pleasantries through texts and occasional meet ups. Most of their hang outs were in groups now and even then, their conversations were stilted and awkward. Sophie stopped to catch her breath, watching as it puffed out like smoke in the cold November air. It was Saturday morning and her heart was heavy as she thought back to the days when she and Bucky would make this run together. The first few Saturdays he'd made excuses as to why he couldn't join her. But after three weeks in a row, Sophie got the picture. She stopped trying to confirm their run and he didn't bother to show up. She felt worn out. She hadn't slept well since she'd told him about her and Jeremy and their rift weighed down heavily on her each day and night. Jeremy was none the wiser to her misery, but even if he was, he wouldn't exactly be a comfort in this situation. Rubbing a hand over her face, she began a slow pace back towards home. A few steps in, her phone rang. She picked up without looking, as per usual.
*Hey…I'm sorry to bother you. I know you're probably out running right now but —*
"Bucky?"
She stopped in her tracks, her voice hitching high with a mixture of relief and anticipation. He was quiet for a moment but she could hear a horrendous noise in the background.
"What in the world is that sound?"
*Make it stop. Please make it stop!* He begged her.
"Is that…Alpine?"
*Yes!*
"Um…I'm close to your place. I guess I'll just come up."
*Hurry!*
…
Not ten minutes later, Sophie found herself knocking on Bucky's door. He yanked it open nearly immediately, pulling her quickly inside. She almost tripped over Alpine trying to get through. The cat immediately began to rub up against her legs as he continued to produce the God awful noise she'd heard over the phone. They pushed their way through into the apartment, hardly able to walk with Alpine incessantly weaving between them. Bucky looked at her panicked.
"What is happening to my cat?!"
Sophie watched as the feline rubbed against Bucky's legs, demanding his attention. When he didn't give him any, the cat twitched its tail from side to side and leapt into his arms. Now safely in his owner's hold, Alpine began to purr, nuzzling Bucky's chin and attempting to groom the stubble that covered it. Sophie covered her mouth to stifle a laugh.
"What are you laughing at?!" Bucky growled at her. "Alpine has lost his mind!"
He dropped the cat down, who immediately began to rub against his legs again. Then settled against his right foot and started to groom with fervor before quickly resuming the yowling.
"Well, Bucky…I don't think Alpine has lost her mind…I think she's in heat."
He stared at Sophie open mouthed.
"But…but…"
His eyes darted back to his cat who was now stretched out, butt in the air.
"But the vet said Alpine is a boy."
"I think you need to get a new vet."
"No, you're wrong…he can't be."
"What do you think she's asking for right now?"
He looked back at the cat, still in the same position, tail swishing side to side.
"Oh man!"
Bucky clamped a hand over his eyes as he spun away from the sight before him. For the first time he'd had a good look at the underside of his feline friend and he could suddenly see with certainty that Alpine was, in fact, a female.
"Soooo…does this mean I can put a pink bow on her now?"
He glared at her over this shoulder.
"I think this means I need to find a new vet. And no pink bows."
Sophie laughed as she picked Alpine up.
"You should probably get her fixed too."
"Yeah, no kidding."
Bucky stared at the two of them as he ran a hand through his hair. Sophie nuzzled the soft white fur.
"I knew you were a girl," she murmured gently.
He couldn't help the small smile that stretched over this lips. Sophie's eyes drifted to his and they locked, their faces growing serious and apologetic.
"Sophie —
"—I didn't move in with him."
They both spoke simultaneously, each one wanting desperately to make up.
Bucky nodded at her in acknowledgement.
"I told him I thought we needed to be on better footing before we made a big decision like that."
"I bet he wasn't too happy with your answer."
"No, but he understood…what were you going to say?"
"Just that I miss you," he said simply.
She set the cat down and wrapped her arms around herself.
"I've missed you too Bucky."
He stepped over to her and cautiously pulled her into a hug. Unwrapping her arms from around herself, Sophie wound them around Bucky's waist and buried her face against him.
"I'm sorry," he breathed. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. In any capacity."
"I know. And I'm sorry too."
They stood like that for several minutes while Alpine made a racket around them. At last she pulled back, but didn't step away.
"Maybe we should have some ground rules too?"
Bucky looked down at her skeptically. Taking a deep breath, Sophie continued.
"One of our rules is that we don't talk about you. Jeremy knows that you and I still talk and see each other. But when it's me and him, neither one of us brings you up."
"So you pretend I don't exist?"
"No! It's just an off limits topic. That's all."
"But Sophie, how can you be with someone whom you can't share all of yourself with?"
Her brows scrunched and she let out a sharp breath.
"I'm trying my best here Bucky. It's all I can think of to do without losing either one of you."
He frowned.
"Let's just not talk about Jeremy any more, ok?"
His eyes searched her face for a long time before he replied.
"Ok…but if you need to…you can, alright?"
She nodded, then stepped back into his embrace.
A/N: Phew! That was a beast of a chapter! But are slowly inching closer and closer to catching up with present day and Sophie's request! I have a lot planned before we get there. So buckle your emotional seatbelts for the next 1-2 chapters.
PLEASE, PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!
As always, thank you to those who took the time to comment on the last chapter: Alices Rabbit, Alpinelover, MidnightStar, Thorunnironside, Guest, and acquamarina.
Alices Rabbit: Hey Maggie! *waves* that's too funny! Thank you SO much for the in-depth review! I'm glad you can appreciate the depth of their friendship that I'm trying to develop. Sorry about Jeremy…I should probably go duck and hide now…
Alpinelover: Mistakes were made, mistakes were fixed. Though I will saaayyyyy…it is fan fiction…soooo….
MidnightStar: I'm glad! I didn't want Jeremy to be a completely unrelatable and awful character. I wanted him to have some good and valid merits too. Otherwise Sophie would just be a total idiot lol. And on that note, please don't hate me after this chapter! Yikes!
Thorunnironside: Omg, thank you thank you thank you! I love the long review! And me too! I can't help the angst lol. I'm so sorry, but I had to throw Jeremy back in the mix lol. There's actually an important reason behind that decision which will play out in the next chapter or two. But anyway, Alpine is, in fact, a girl lol.
Guest: Yeah, poor Bucky has been hurt a lot :( Definitely not a great situation for Jeremy (or anyone honestly) to walk in on! But we're not quite done with his shit yet lol. Thanks so much for your review!