Act 3: Where the Muses Dwell

"Edward?" Ingrid asked. "How did you get in here?"

"The principal doesn't make it a habit to lock her office door." Ed answered. "Right now, that woman is doing her own investigation for the vandal, which is what makes this a good place for us to talk."

"So you were the one who hung that banner at the station." Fillmore said. "What about the spray can?"

Ed answered that question by pulling out a green spray can and putting it on the table. The sight of it surprised the two officers.

"Where did you get that can?" Fillmore asked.

"From my locker. I knew someone has tampered with it, so I checked it out. Turns out, I found this can and hid it away before I was called up for interrogation."

"How did you know your locker was tampered with?" Fillmore asked.

Edward tapped the side of his head before answering wit ha riddle of his own. "I am round, yet I am flat. I can be shiny or I can be matte. If I am used, nothing can ever shift. You will always find me holding together a gift. What am I?"

Realizing this was another riddle, Fillmore and Ingrid thought for a moment. Then, Ingrid's memory flashed to what she realized is the answer.

"Tape. The answer is tape. I remember seeing a broken piece of tape at your locker."

"Good memory." Ed commented. "Yes, I slip a little piece of tape over my locker door as an extra security measure. If it's broken, I know that someone's been inside without my permission. This morning, when I was passing by my locker, I noticed the tape was broken, so I checked inside. That's when I noticed the spray can."

"I see." Fillmore said. "You seem to put some thought into this."

"As always."

"But this still doesn't explain some things. Like how did someone put that spray can in your locker in the first place?"

"I gave you the key to that question, literally."

Fillmore remembered what he found earlier and picked it out of his pocket. "The skeleton key."

"Exactly. Someone made a key that could open any locker. And I think you two know who that is already. After all, my riddle did point to two different people."

Fillmore remembered the riddle. "'To catch the vandal, Fillmore and Third, find the one who said the first word'. Daisy Grant. She was the one who found the writing on the wall first."

"'If you want the mastermind as well, look at the place where the Muses dwell'. In Greek mythology, the Muses lived on Mt. Parnassus."

"You know your stuff, Third. Impressive." Ed said. "Yes, Grant was the one who wrote on the wall, and Parnassus was the one who masterminded the whole thing. That way, he would have a clear alibi."

"How do you know that?" Ingrid asked.

"Well, I knew that whoever framed me would lead the Safety Patrol to my locker room thinking the spray can was still there. I just had to stick around and see who would suggest it. That's when Parnassus spoke up. That plus his confusion upon the lack of can equals his obvious guilt.

"A short while after that, Parnassus confronted me. He was convinced that I had something to do with the spray can not being in my locker. He was right, but I didn't want him to know that. It would be trouble if he had any idea I had any control of this case, so I played dumb. He bought it, but not before I picked his pocket for the skeleton key he had. Once he was gone, I found a blank banner and went to

work on my riddles. All I needed was a clear path to hang this up at your station."

"So you pulled the fire alarm so you could have the chance to hang your riddles up?" Fillmore asked. "That seems excessive."

"It worked, didn't it?" Ed asked.

"So what now?" Fillmore asked. "We can probably clear Edward's name, but Parnassus will make someone else take the fall for his crime. Probably Daisy."

"Not to worry, you two." Edward said. "I have an idea. But I'm going to need your help."

"Brad Parnassus to the principal's office! Brad Parnassus to the principal's office!"

After hearing that announcement on the intercom, Parnassus headed there. He was nervous, but he completely kept his composure. When he entered, he glared with suspicion when he saw Edward Nygma sitting at the desk.

"Mr. Nashton…"

"I keep telling everyone, it's Nygma."

"Whatever. The point is, that's not your seat. That belongs to Principal Folsom."

"You're right." Ed agreed smugly. "This should go to the one who runs the school. But then again, Parnassus, why aren't you sitting in it?"

Parnassus glared harder. "You got something to say?"

"Sure." Ed replied as he pulled out his spray can and placed it in front of his opponent. "I believe you're looking for this."

"So I was right. You did take the can from your locker."

"That's right. I also know that the Caesar Cipher was your work too. You told Daisy Grant to write it on the school wall and hide it away. You then used a skeleton key to plant the spray can in my locker and frame me for the crime."

"So what? It's still your word against mine, and after your rant at the welcoming ceremony, no one's going to listen to you."

"Again, I wouldn't call that ceremony welcoming. Thankfully, Fillmore and Third are able to listen to me." Parnassus clenched his teeth hearing those names. "That's why I made a deal with them. They clear my name, and I'll provide my testimony along with this." Edward pulled out a handheld tape recorder.

"What is that?" Parnassus asked.

"Believe it or not, I overheard you give poor Daisy Grant an earful after failing to find the spray can in my locker. I believe it went 'Why didn't you put the can in his locker?' 'But Brad, I did!' 'Then where is it? You're more useless than the last guy. Give me that key before you screw up again.' Is it something like that?"

Parnassus' silence already gave Edward the answer he needed. Carelessly, Edward placed the tape recorder on the table and turned the chair.

"It's best if you own up to your crimes now. Otherwise, I'll take that recording of you and Grant and show it to Principal Folsom. After that, you…" He spun around and saw that Brad Parnassus already had the recorder in his hand.

"No so smart now, are you?" Parnassus asked confidently. "And to think, I was threatened by you."

"Is that why you framed me?" Edward asked. "Is that why you framed Ingrid Third when she first came to X?"

"Don't pretend you know me. A person of my intellectual importance shouldn't be compared to anyone else. Your name may be cleared, but nothing will link this incident to me. If this goes any way like the stinkbomb, I'll just get my latest lackey to take the fall for me. And Folsom will take it because she's just that gullible."

Edward gave a small grin confusing Parnassus. "Oh, I wouldn't have said that if I were you."

The front door behind Parnassus creaked open. He widened his eyes as he turned and saw Fillmore and Ingrid standing there with Principal Folsom behind them.

"Principal Folsom." Parnassus gasped. "It's Nygma, he…"

"Save it, kid. I overheard everything." Folsom said. "Fillmore and Ingrid came to me saying they could bring me to the real culprit. Now, you're in a lot of trouble."

"Oh, by the way," Edward said, "That tape recorder doesn't have your conversation with Daisy. That was a bluff."

"What?" Parnassus asked in surprise. He nervously then pressed 'play' on the tape recorder and listened to Edward's voice coming from it.

"Riddle me this. How is Brad Parnassus like a blank dictionary? Answer: they are both at a loss for words."

"Mr. Parnassus," Principal Folsom said, "You will be answering for your crimes and you will be expelled for them."

Parnassus widened his eyes. He gritted his teeth while clutching the recorder. "No! You can't! I won't go down like that!" With a hard throw, he thrusted the recorder straight at the three at the door. They dodged, which gave Parnassus the chance he needed to get through and run down the hallway.

"After him!" Fillmore shouted to his partner. Together, he and Ingrid gave chase to their suspect.

Parnassus didn't have a plan. All he could think about was trying to escape. That's usually how it goes for these final chases. When he noticed Fillmore and Ingrid on his trail, he panicked and picked up his pace.

At the same time, down the hallway, Renee Montoya presented Vallejo with a box full of donuts.

"Jelly-filled. I hope you like them, sir."

"Oh, don't mind if I do." Vallejo said excitedly. "What's the occasion, Montoya?"

"Just wanted to say thanks for giving me a chance here."

"Well, you're quite welcome." Vallejo was about to take a donut, when suddenly, they were interrupted when Brad Parnassus ran right by. Fillmore called out from the back.

"STOP HIM! HE'S A SUSPECT!"

As if on instinct, Montoya took action. She took back her donut box and threw them across the floor.

"My donuts!" Vallejo cried out.

The donut box slid until it stopped right in front of Parnassus. He accidentally stepped on the box and slipped on the jelly like a banana peel. He yelled as his back his the floor and he groaned in defeat. The Safety Patrol officers surrounded him.

"Fillmore, I'm glad you caught Parnassus finally," Vallejo said, "But you owe me a box of jelly-filled donuts."

The Safety Patrol celebrated when Parnassus finally got what he deserved. The criminal mastermind was expelled from X Middle School at long last. But there was still one thing left to handle.

Fillmore and Ingrid traversed the hallway until they found the guy they were looking for. Edward Nygma was getting books from his locker when he noticed the two approaching him.

"What do you two want?"

"We just wanted to say thank you." Fillmore said. "And to offer you a job?"

Edward was taken aback. "I'm sorry? A job?"

"Yeah. As a Safety Patrol officer." Ingrid said. "We've been trying for months to get Parnassus. But you did it on your first day here. That proves how capable you are."

"Sorry, but I don't do orange sashes." Edward said. "Besides, I only did it because I couldn't let that upstart out-riddle me. I'm still the superior riddler."

"I know this school doesn't look like it at first…" Ingrid started to say.

"Doesn't look like it? Third, this place is just like my old school. I'm trying my best to keep from pulling off my riddle tricks just to teach them a lesson."

"Teach them a lesson?" Fillmore asked. "What do you mean by that?"

Edward sighed. "Fine. At my old school, nobody took the educational system seriously. The students don't want to learn; they just want to know what they have to so they can pass their tests and graduate. After all that, they move on and forget all they learn. And the teachers were no better. They'd rather make the school look good than work on helping the students improve. Somebody had to make sure their knowledge is imprinted in their heads."

"So you keep making riddle-based pranks just to help students learn?" Fillmore asked.

"Exactly. If they don't bother to think, they deserve what they get."

Fillmore and Ingrid looked at each other before the latter spoke up. "Ed, don't you think your methods are a bit excessive?"

"What else can I do?" Edward asked.

"Lots actually." Fillmore said. "Ed, you clearly have a gift. But if you continue to use those gifts to hurt others, it's always going to hurt you back. And it's going to hit hard, real hard. The same thing happened with me and Ingrid back in our days before the Safety Patrol."

"It's true." Ingrid said. "Thankfully, we got a chance to use our skills for good. And it always worked out. If today is any indication, the bill will always come due. Just try to drop the attitude at least."

"How's this for a riddle?" Fillmore started to ask. "The less of these you have, the more one is worth. What is it?"

Edward frowned and paused for a moment. The thought to himself during that time before sighing. "A friend. Fine. I'll help. But I won't join your Safety Patrol. So how's about… a consulting position?"

"I guess I can work with that." Fillmore said shaking his new ally's hand. "Welcome to the team, Edward Nygma."

In another part of the school, there was a singular teenager sitting in an office-like room. He wore a blue coat and a blue hat while looking through a stack of sheets. When he was done, he raised his head up revealing his seemingly-faceless expression. Truthfully, he wore a skin-colored mask that hid away his eyes, nose, and mouth.

"So Brad Parnassus is expelled. With him gone, there's a power vacuum in the X Middle School criminal underworld. Someone is going to take his place. Once that happens, will this school get better or worse? Now that is… the question."

Author's Note: And that's the end of the first case of Riddle Me This, Fillmore. I always felt the show did a bit of injustice with not giving a satisfying end to Brad Parnassus, so I thought I'd make one of my own.

In case you haven't inferred, the guy in the end is the Question. More on him in later chapters.

Any and all comments are welcome.