9:33 Solace

Hello my dear friend! It has been far too long since I've heard from you! As I am certain you are aware, our mutual friends have been too busy to write, though their leader did manage a quick visit through Val Royeaux not too long ago. It seems he is helping some of his people with an expedition, and I have to admit that I do not envy him, though it was wonderful to see him again!

Your sworn protector still asks of you, as I thought I would pass on since he has not written anything to pass on instead. He is a man of action, not words, no? I am certain he wants to greet you in person, and will do so once he is able to ensure he will not be followed. Until then, I am certain these friends you speak so highly of will keep you entertained.

Your last letter was very enlightening, I must admit. Do these people know just how lucky they are to have you? I certainly would have you come to stay with me if I felt I could tear you away. But from the sounds of it, I would have a fight on my hands, no? I would love to hear more, as I feel I am getting to know them all through your eyes. Perhaps one day we will meet!

Of course, his highness asks of you as well, certain that you are writing to me far more often than to him. I have dissuaded him of this as I could, but he does have a way of knowing the truth, does he not? Please ensure you send him a note, he sounds lonely and busy, which would normally be hard to do… but we all know how difficult it can be to be without your friends.

I see that you neglected to tell me of the men, {or women?} in your life last time. Are you going to make me beg? You know you are only making my curiosity grow! I'm certain with your beauty and, how did you put it? Curvy? Yes, your pleasing curves, that you are enticing plenty of suitors. If I find you are married without an invitation sent to me, I will be most upset, just so you are aware.

Your friend,

L-

Cat rolled her eyes as she reread the letter. Leli was always so concerned with my love life, and never with her own! She had had many a conversation with Leliana about this, only to have the woman turn the tides back on her.

Married! What is she thinking?! Cat thought as she shook her head. There wasn't anything further from her mind at the moment. She glanced up, and folding the letter, put it in her pocket.

She wondered again why she hadn't changed before coming to the Hanged Man, and as she walked out of Varric's room to join her friends, she turned back to go to Isabela's room in the hopes that she could find something that would show her body off a little less.

If anything, there's that blue shirt I gave her, she thought. Issy's got to have one pair of pants, right? While she doubted her own thoughts, she searched anyway and found a pair of pants that she'd say were more like leggings. Hoping that they actually belonged to Isabela and not someone else, she changed from her armor, and headed back out to the main room.

Joining the table where Isabela, Varric and Merrill were sitting, Cat noticed Aveline standing, looking like she was leaving.

"Aveline, where are you going?" she asked in a pleading sort of voice. "Don't leave me!" she cried dramatically, though with a smile.

Aveline rolled her eyes at Cat's theatrics, but sat back down. Varric and Isabela were having a whispered conversation, so Cat pulled Merrill into another with her and Aveline.

"I'm sorry to have taken so long, but I rarely get letters, and I couldn't wait to read it," she said by way of an explanation.

"From your friends in Fereldan?" Aveline asked with a smile.

"One of them, yes. She's quite nosy though, so I usually get some news of the others as well."

"Well that must be nice," Merrill said as she sipped something in front of her, making a face before sipping it again.

"Merrill, if you don't like it, you don't have to drink it," Aveline commented.

"It's not that bad," Merrill insisted. "Varric told me to acquire a taste for it."

"Are you sure he didn't say it was an acquired taste?" Cat asked.

"Yes," Merrill nodded. "Wait, what did I say?"

Aveline and Cat chuckled even as they shook their heads. Aveline reached over and switched her glass with Merrill's. "Oh, thank you Aveline," she said as she tried her new drink and it enjoyed it much more.

Cat ordered some wine and stretched slightly. "Some days seem long, but today felt never ending," she said.

"How is he?" Merrill asked in concern.

"He's doing well, but there are a lot of old wounds that haven't healed," she replied. "I mean, not real wounds," she added quickly at Merrill's horrified expression. "You know, like in his heart."

"Oh…" she said quietly.

"I can only imagine what life was like with that awful woman," Aveline said as she drank.

"Yeah, he has a hard time believing he's worth the trouble," Cat said with a sigh. "It's going to take time."

"Well we have plenty of that," Aveline responded. "But… I stayed because I want to talk about… you know what we were talking about… before."

"Oh?" Cat asked. "How's that, uh, project going?"

"Not well," Aveline said as she rubbed her temple. "It seems every time I try something, it backfires."

"Like what?" Cat asked.

"Well I tried giving him something that would share my feelings without, you know, sharing my feelings," Aveline said as she thought back.

"And?" Cat asked.

"He thought it was trash."

"Ooh…" Cat winced. "Uh, it couldn't have been that bad," she said, trying to look at the bright side.

"It was, believe me," Aveline replied despondently.

"Anything else?"

"I tried assigning him to the Hightown patrol, you know, as a reward?"

"Okay, and how did that go?"

"He came barging in my office, demanding to know what he did that I would punish him like that."

"Okay, so not great," Cat muttered. "But at least he came to your office right? Did you tell him why you really did it?"

Aveline looked at her like she was crazy. "Of course not! I was so flustered, I told him it was an accident and changed it right then."

"Oh."

"So?" she asked. "Any ideas? I'm in desperate need of help here."

"This is absolutely too delicious," a voice said softly, and Cat and Aveline looked up to find Isabela standing at the end of the table over them.

She stood up and put her hand on her forehead. "Let me see if I have this straight," she said with a laugh. "You," she said, pointing to Aveline, "are coming to her" pointing to Cat, "for advice about men?!" and with that, she started laughing loudly.

"I swear, I will gut you if you don't keep quiet!" Aveline hissed.

Isabela continued to chuckle, though she did lower her voice. Cat looked around, finally noticing that while Merrill was listening intently, Varric was now talking to several people at a nearby table. Cat felt herself being pushed, so she scooted over to make room for Isabela to sit.

"You do realize, that Kitty is even more clueless about signals than the unfortunate man you're talking about, don't you?"

"Hey!" Cat said in offense. "I'm not clueless, I have been married you know."

"Oh yes, my mistake," Isabela said sarcastically. "Mostly clueless except for once," she corrected.

Cat crossed her arms and shot her a dirty look. "I am not clueless."

Isabela smirked and looked at her in interest. "Shall I start naming names of those that have given you signals that you've missed?" she asked sweetly.

"No," Cat said even as Isabela began.

"There's "your friend" the Starkhaven prince, and "your friend" the Knight Captain, and "your friend" Anders, "your friend" Fenris, oh, and the man that works at that food stall we like, and don't forget about Norah here, oh, and the woman at the…"

"STOP!" Cat hissed at her. "It's not funny anymore," she said angrily. "You see signals everywhere you look, no matter if they are there or not!"

"Silly me, how could I forget," Isabela said snarkily. "And Hawke."

Cat's face went blank. "Now you're being ridiculous," she said as she downed her wine and held her hand up for another glass.

"Is that what I am?" Isabela asked, her smirk back in place. "Like I said, clueless."

"Isabela…" Aveline said in warning. "Perhaps this conversation is better suited for somewhere less… uh public?" Aveline offered.

"Of course," Isabela answered, her usual smirk on her face. "Merrill, come help me get some drinks," she said as Merrill got up and followed her to the bar.

Cat put her head in her hand. "I'm not going to like this, am I?" she asked.

"Probably not," Aveline answered, looking at her in sympathy.

"Never… ending… day," Cat muttered and she stood, gathering her glass and then following Aveline to Isabela's room.

"Which of these surfaces have you not had sex on?" Cat asked as Isabela led them inside. She smirked and offered Cat a shrug.

"Someone's feeling feisty," she replied.

"Look, I'm not looking forward to this," Cat retorted. "I should probably just go."

Isabela seemed to look disappointed, and Cat was taken aback. "Look Kitty," she began as she flopped on the bed and offered the wine bottle to Merrill. "I'm not going to just point out all the missed signals," she said somewhat contritely. "I know you, and I know that you miss some of them on purpose, to let the other person keep their dignity."

"What?" Merrill asked. "How does she do that?" Cat reached over and grabbed the bottle from Merrill who seemed all too glad to give it up.

"Oh there was this one time, back when we first met," Isabela began with a smile. "Kitty here had just joined my crew, and decided that she needed to improve her swimming skills."

"Oh Maker…" Cat groaned.

"What… happened?" Aveline asked tentatively, and looked at Cat in apology.

"Well Kitty didn't have extra clothes for swimming, not at first. She just stripped down to her unders, tied a rope around herself, and jumped into the water!"

Merrill and Aveline looked at her in surprise. "You didn't!" Merrill said in glee.

"She did. Of course, all the men were enjoying the show-"

"And their captain," Cat cut in. She gave up on her glass and started drinking straight from the bottle, hoping she'd just fall asleep soon.

"Her too," Isabela consented. "When one of the lads decided he would ask Cat for a private encore."

Aveline and Merrill gasped, and Cat just shook her head at the dramatics.

"So what happened?"

"Oh he spent a good amount of time trying to convince Cat to let him dry her off, if you know what I mean…"

"We always know what you mean," Aveline grumbled even as Merrill asked, "what do you mean?"

"After trying fifteen or so different ways of suggesting it, with Kitty just sitting there saying, 'what?'", Isabela said in a high pitch while fluttering her lashes. "He finally figured out that she wasn't interested, and let it go."

"But what did he mean?" Merrill asked, even as she was ignored.

"You could of shot him down right away, but you let him think you were some innocent child instead, which not only insured that it wouldn't happen again, but that he'd protect you from anyone else that would try something."

Cat rolled her eyes. "I really didn't know what most of what he was saying meant," she muttered.

"But you caught the idea," Isabela said with a wink.

"So who was this man?" Aveline asked.

"My first mate," Isabela answered with a sad smile. "Biggest and most lovable guy there ever was."

"To Big Tom," Cat said quietly, holding up the bottle in salute, and taking a long drink.

"Aye," Isabela answered. "To Big Tom."

After a moment, Isabela turned to Aveline with a grin. "So… lady man hands has a man dangling on the hook does she?"

"I swear whore-" Aveline began.

"Hey!" Cat said with a glare to Aveline. "Don't say that like that."

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like… like it's a bad thing."

"Oh… uh, my apologies to whores everywhere," she replied, and Cat nodded, looking satisfied.

"Anyway," Isabela gave Cat an odd look. "What's the problem?"

Aveline almost blurted it out, after all, the woman obviously got plenty of men, and might actually have good advice. But then she remembered it was Isabela, and stayed quiet.

"So there's this guy," Cat said, thinking that if she asked for herself, maybe Aveline could save some face, but still get the idea she needed. "He's a friend, and I'm thinking, maybe it would be great if we could be more than friends…"

Isabela's eyebrow went high, as she looked between Cat and Aveline. She was no fool, but she was always one to grab an opportunity when it presented itself. "Do tell," she replied.

"But, let's say I tell him, and he doesn't feel the same… well then, our friendship could be ruined."

Isabela settled back against the wall. "That's true," she said.

"So…" Cat glanced at Aveline, wanting to be sure that she didn't step over a line. "How do I let him know, while being able to maintain my friendship if it doesn't go as I want?"

"You should just tell him," Merrill said with a sigh. "It will make you feel better, and no one could not love you, Cat."

"Uh, thanks Merrill," she replied, handing her bottle off to Aveline, as her tongue felt tingly.

"That is good advice," Isabela said. "It can be freeing to just admit it."

"And if I'm not willing to do that?"

"Obviously the answer is to wrangle yourself into an plainly romantic situation, and see if he… takes the bait."

Cat snickered at the analogy, but her smile wiped away at Isabela's next words. "Though since you and Hawke have already done that, I'd say you should just admit it."

Cat sat up before rounding on Isabela. "I don't appreciate this, you know."

"It can be hard to face the truth," Isabela replied nonchalantly.

"Face the… what?!" Cat spluttered.

"You heard me Kitty," Isabela said with a sigh. "Why you are insisting on this dance between you two, I'll never understand."

"STOP IT!" Cat yelled loudly, her breathing erratic as she tried to clam herself. The other three stared at her in surprise. "I don't understand why you are doing this! I am not that type of friend, and why are you so insistent on having me admit feelings for a man, is… is… that one word! Appalling! Yeah, that's it!" Cat grinned in triumph at remembering the word.

"Merrill, time for you and I to go," Aveline said quietly.

"No, I'm sorry," Cat turned, instantly contrite. "I didn't mean to chase you out."

"Honestly?" Aveline said, "I think you two are overdue," she stood and gave Cat's shoulder a pat. "We'll see you tomorrow for lunch."

"Good night," Merrill said with a large smile. "I had such a good time!" Cat sat back down in her chair, feeling dizzy, as the two of them left.

Cat looked up finally as she heard Isabela clear her throat.

"I guess Aveline has a point, even if I'd never let her hear me say that," she began. "I… I'm not trying to upset you," she said. "I just thought if you finally said it out loud, you'd realize how you felt. Not really sure why that's appalling."

"If you knew me at all," Cat said icily, no longer concerned about keeping her anger in check. "Then you would know that I would never pursue a man that had been with a friend of mine. Regardless of how bad of a friend that friend was being."

Cat could see that Isabela was thinking through that one, and the look of confusion threw her off. "What don't you get?" she said snidely.

"You, obviously," Isabela replied. "You shouldn't spend time with Fenris anymore if you're going to start acting like him." Cat's eyes narrowed. "I'm trying to figure out what you meant by that," Isabela continued. "I thought you were talking about me, but obviously you're not, so who is it then?"

"What?" Cat asked. "It IS you."

"That's just not possible," Isabela replied.

"And how do you figure?" Cat demanded.

"Easy," she said seriously, which had Cat pausing. "I've never been with Hawke."

Cat was at a loss. She knew that Isabela was hardly ever serious, but when she was, it was worth taking notice. She also knew when Isabela was lying, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand how she could be saying those words truthfully.

There was also the fact that her heart had picked up speed, and she had no idea why.

"You're lying," Cat said quietly.

"We both know that I'm not," Isabela replied. "But I'd like to know what has you so certain."

"The morning after that night," Cat said slowly. "I came home, and Hawke was there… with you… and you were talking about having sex."

"That sounds like me," Isabela said with a smirk.

"Maker Issy," Cat grumbled, as she rubbed her forehead. "Is everything a joke to you?"

"You know I can't stand all the seriousness Kitty. I've reached my limit for the day."

"Try week," Cat groused.

"See?" Isabela beamed. "You do know me."

"So you're telling me, that you and Hawke… aren't… together?" Cat asked. "With all the foreplay, and angry sex? Are you sure? I mean, it's epic."

"Really," Isabela questioned. "I'm pretty sure there was no foreplay or sex, angry or otherwise." She then waved it off like she was shooing a fly. "Doesn't matter. He wants you, not me."

"Wait, wait, wait a minute…" Cat said as she stood to pace, and fell back in her seat. "I mean, back then, sure I could see it, but now?" She faced Isabela and shook her head. "We're friends Issy, that's it."

"And why is it that I'm doubting that?" Isabela asked with a grin. "Let's say you're not the sharpest when it comes to that sort of thing."

"Rude," Cat grumbled. "But I still stand by it. Regardless of anything else, he's my friend, end of story."

"Ah… the plot thickens," Isabela muttered. "So you're not willing to let it be anything else," she clarified. Cat thought for a minute and nodded.

"That's right."

"I see."

"So I don't want to hear any more about admitting feelings or anything like that, got it?" Cat asked, simultaneously feeling relieved and pained, though she couldn't- or wouldn't- look deeper to understand why.

Isabela looked at her for a moment, and then nodded. Clearing her throat again, she reached over for her bottle, and took a long pull. "I think it's time I told you what's been going on," she said.

"High past time," Cat replied with a yawn, moving over to the bed to lie down.

"But there's a catch."

Cat looked at her suspiciously. "And that is?"

Isabela looked in her eyes, once again serious, and Cat felt goosebumps on her arms. "You cannot be involved, at all."

"What?" Cat demanded. "Why not?"

"Castillon," Isabela answered.

"What about him?" Cat asked, confused.

"I know I haven't shared much about him, and for good reason," Isabela said, without a smirk in sight, and Cat began to feel the dread and worry piling in her stomach as she sat up. "I've never met a more cold and calculating man in my life."

"Okay…" Cat replied.

"He doesn't see people as you or I do, he sees tools. Ways to get what he wants."

"Yeah, a lot of mercenaries are like that," Cat said.

"No," Isabela said with a sigh. "I don't know how to explain Kitty, so you can understand. If he knew about you," she explained. "If he knew there was someone that I cared even remotely about? He would take you, and use you to keep me in line."

"Issy, that's-"

"NO Kitty," she stressed, cutting her off. "He's sadistic. I've seen some of the people after he's done with them. He finds out what you fear, what you hate, what you love, and he twists them all around, until you are no longer the person you once were. He tortures, he changes, he molds… just to hurt someone else. Then he sends you back to your loved one as a shell of your former self, begging for death, so that all they can do is grant it."

Cat looked horrified, seeing the fear on Isabela's face, seeing her close in on herself. It was obviously even worse than what she was describing.

Isabela sighed. "I may not be a good friend, but I'd die before I let that happen."

"That… uh, that actually sounds like you're being a good friend…" Cat replied, and Isabela looked up, the haunted look in her eyes diminishing somewhat.

"That day… on the ship…" Isabela said with a far off look of remembrance. "That was almost me, but I was more useful in getting the relic. My death wouldn't have hurt anyone- the only reason I was spared," she said.

"Issy, don't say that," Cat said softly. "Me, the crew… we all would have been hurt."

"Thanks, but crews don't matter much to Castillon." Isabela straightened up, and rubbed her arms. "Enough of that," she said, though Cat felt she was talking to herself. "That's the deal," she told Cat. "I'll tell you what's going on, but that's the only way you're involved. No helping, no acting as look out, nothing. Take it, or leave it."

Cat leaned over, putting her head on Isabela's shoulder. "You know, I've missed you," Cat said taking her hand.

"Back at you," Isabela replied.

"If that's all I get then, Captain, I'll take it."

9:33 Kingsway

My Lord Constable of the Grey-

I have sent a package to raise your spirits my friend, and don't eat it all at once! I have it on good authority, from another lover of cheeses, that this is some of the finest that Kirkwall has to offer, and it will keep well enough to reach you.

I have heard from a lovely bird that your commander is on an expedition, so that puts you in charge, which I know you dislike. However, I am also aware that you are an exceptional leader, so quit feeling sorry for yourself! Besides, just put Nathaniel in charge if you can't do it.

I'm certain that got through! Ha ha! I miss you Al, you big oaf. I am certain that you would fit into this Kirkwall group seamlessly, in fact our leader reminds me somewhat of you, except that he actually seems to like leading.

I see pieces of you and the others in the things that the people here do, from the healer to the warrior, the smirks, the lock picking, the occasional campfire, and the laughter. There is the stoic warrior, the bawdy rogue, the… well you get the idea.

In warning, I should tell you to prepare yourself sir, for when I see you again, I shall challenge you to a duel. My skills are growing while I fear yours are rusting as you sit in your office handing down commands. You should challenge Nathaniel to a spar right this moment, for you have no time to lose, and you need all the practice you can get, old man.

Oh, and any news you can give me of Carver Hawke, for his mother, would be most appreciated.

-Cat

Nathaniel looked up at the strange choking sounds coming from the other side of the room. "What has gotten in to you?" he asked in confusion.

"That little minx!" Alistair muttered, as he continued to read from a paper.

"Are you all right?" Nathaniel asked.

"Yes, yes," Alistair replied, "as you were," as he waved him off.

"You were going to tell me who you wanted to send on tomorrow's scouting expedition," Nathaniel said as he rose from his own chair. "Or would you prefer I decide?"

"What?" Alistair's voice took on an edge as his head snapped up. "Of course, I can do it," he said quickly, and Nathaniel handed the paper with a list of names on it to him.

"I don't recognize any of these names," Alistair finally grumbled as he handed it back to Nathaniel. "Do you… have any suggestions?" he asked.

"Of course," Nathaniel bent over circling several names before handing it back. "These are the wardens with experience in tracking or field work," he said.

Alistair nodded, and looked over to what he had been reading. "Nathaniel, I'm not old," he declared.

"Uh, no," he replied. "I'd say we are fairly close in age actually."

"That's right," Alistair pounced on that as if it were a prize. "And we're some of the best we've got!"

"Undoubtedly," Nathaniel agreed, still unsure of what was happening.

"Then it's decided! I'll meet you on the training field!" Alistair said as he circled a few more names on the paper and rushed to hand it off to his assistant.

Nathaniel looked over, and skimmed the letter Alistair had been reading. He smirked as he realized what had gotten into the man, and decided he could spare an hour or two for some exercise. I'm now eager to meet this woman, he thought as he went to fetch his bow and daggers. She accomplished in one paragraph what I've been trying to do for weeks.