***Trigger warning for sexual assault. There is not a lot, but I didn't want to catch anyone off guard! Thnx!

Alistair looked down at Cat's face, glad that the healer was able to right what his shield bash had skewed. Then he noticed how her eyelids fluttered, and how her movements in her sleep were odd and jerky.

"Is she all right?" he asked, and Leliana stopped speaking to look over as well.

"It looks like she's having a bad dream perhaps?" she said, stepping over to run her hand over Cat's hair to try to calm her.

"No… no…" Cat mumbled, and Leliana and the wardens exchanged glances.

"C'mon Cat, wake up now," Nathaniel said softly, giving her a little shake.

None of them expected it, when her eyes popped open and she screamed, twisting right out of Nathaniel's grip and falling on the floor at his feet. She scuttled away, practically sobbing, and none of them moved as they watched her in shock.

Cat looked around, hardly able to see, her mind still reliving her nightmare. She spotted what looked like a refuge can, and moved towards it, just in time to empty her stomach contents into it.

"Darling?" Leliana asked quietly, moving closer as her friend made retching noises. "What's happened?" she asked, her eyes narrowing as her mind whirled with possibilities.

Cat said nothing as she transitioned into dry heaving, her arm resting on the edge of the can, with her forehead on her arm. Her tears fell into the can, as she tried to calm her breathing.

She could hear Leliana speaking to her, and at the gentle touch on her back, she raised her head slightly. Leliana was there, a damp cloth in her hand, and she handed it over so Cat could wipe her face. Cat was simply too worn out to be embarrassed.

"Here, come sit down," Leliana said, offering to help Cat stand.

Cat followed, feeling suddenly hollow. She sat on the little sofa that she had crawled away from, noting that Nathaniel and Alistair were both keeping a slight distance from her, and she felt guilty.

Duran came closer, standing next to her, and grabbing her hand. "Cat?" he asked. "I don't want to sound insensitive, but… are you pregnant?" he asked.

Alistair and Nathaniel's mouths dropped open slightly, as they looked from Duran to Cat.

"No," she replied, and to her amusement, all three of the wardens seemed to sigh in relief.

"Not that that would be a problem of course," Duran added. "But I wanted to know what to tell the healers."

"Of course," she answered, smiling slightly. "No, it was just a bad dream, and it, uh… turned my stomach."

His eyebrow rose at her hesitation, and he merely looked at her, even as her eyes went anywhere but his face.

"Cat…" he said, his tone suggesting that she not try to lie to him.

"What?" she asked, finally meeting his gaze. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Alistair asked, coming closer, and reaching out to touch her shoulder. She automatically shied back, and he looked surprised as he pulled his hand back.

"Sorry," she said, rubbing her arm in distraction. "Yes, I'm fine."

"I think it is obvious that you are not," Leliana added, as she moved to sit next to Cat. She frowned as she sat on the lumpy sofa. "Duran, when will you get rid of this horrid piece of furniture?"

"Well I like it fine," he answered with a smirk. "Besides, if it was very comfortable, I wouldn't get anyone to leave, would I?"

Leliana shook her head, and grabbed Cat's free hand. "Come dearest, it may be hard at first, but telling us will get it out, and let the wound start to heal."

"What wound? I said I'm fine," Cat replied, even as she started shaking.

"Yes, we can see that," Nathaniel said, bringing over another chair as Alistair righted the one that Leliana had previously been in. The two men took a seat, behind Duran, so as not to crowd her, but wanting to give her support as well.

"I think I can guess," Leliana said with a frown. "Would you like me to?"

Cat looked at her helplessly, before closing her eyes. She most definitely did not want to talk about it, most especially with her friends, but she supposed she couldn't let it fester inside her either, and she knew they wouldn't let it go. And they would understand without all the awful details.

"So coming to this wyvern hunt, your crew's objective was to get into the Keep," Leliana said.

"Yes," Cat replied, looking up at Duran. "The Duke was making some sort of deal with a Tal Vashoth, trying to gain a weapon to use against the Qunari people. We were trying to find it, but we needed to get in. The… uh…" she stopped and swallowed a couple of times before she could continue.

"The duke's son, had the key, and they were getting nowhere with lock picks."

"Ah yes," Leliana said, her eyes narrowing in on the cause of her friend's distress. She had tried multiple times to discover what was wrong out of Cat on their travels, but to no avail, and now she understood. She had been trying to forget.

"The duke's son had been fawning all over her the entire time," Leliana said, to give the wardens' a little context. "And from what I heard, had been saying he was going to have much more."

Cat's twitch and swallowed gagging noise, gave Leliana all the answer she needed. Duran, too, thought he had the right idea, and put his other hand atop the one of Cat's he currently held and asked, "What did the bastard do Cat?"

"The others tried to steal the key without any luck, so it was determined that I should get it. The plan was to go to a room with him, and have one of them come barging in almost immediately after, scaring the man, and causing a commotion in which I could get the key."

"But, that's not what happened?" Leliana asked gently.

"No," Cat replied. "We went into the room, and… no one came."

The silence seemed worse than getting it out, so she continued, looking at her hands which were being held by others and not seeing the tense and angry faces of her friends.

"I tried to get it anyway, and let him kiss me, hoping that would be a distraction enough. I had my hand on it, and was pulling it from his belt…"

She stopped, not wanting to feel it again, but she had no control there. She could still feel his fingers, still shuddered in shock as she had the first time. She pulled back, wanting not to feel, even in memory.

"I don't know how he moved so fast, but my dress was up around my waist, and he was grabbing at me, touching me. His fingers were in… inside…" she stopped there, as she started crying. The refuge can was suddenly there by her side, and she grabbed at it, her hands suddenly freed, and wishing she could rid herself of these memories as her stomach roiled and heaved, though nothing came out.

Leliana continued to run her hand down Cat's head, over and over. Her angry expression met with the thunderous expressions of the others.

"So you killed him then?" she asked sweetly, when the gagging stopped, and hearing Cat give a watery chuckle.

"No, though I wanted to," Cat replied, wiping her mouth with her sleeve, and giving a large sigh. "I didn't want to get into anything with Orlesians, and I was so afraid of Garrett finding out. I was shocked, and couldn't seem to move at first, to my ultimate shame."

"No-" the others' started, but she ruthlessly interrupted them.

"Yes! It is something I will forever question and regret! I got my wits about me, and I pushed him away, and I hit him several times, knocking him out."

Cat could tell they wanted to argue with her still, but she just wanted to get it all out. Somehow, Leliana had been right, and it almost felt therapeutic to tell someone. "I fixed my clothes and reached over him, to get the key. I was so worried that someone would come in and see me… I just wanted to get out! And then I was sick," she said, shrugging.

She looked up then, her stomach feeling stronger. "I got away, and emptied my stomach in the corner of the room. As I was finishing, Fenris came in. He helped me get up, and I found a cloak to put on, to hide in. Looking at him, I could see he knew something had happened, and he was so angry. I yelled at him, that I could take care of myself… that I knew what I was doing."

She gave a depreciating laugh, and shook her head. "So I pretended everything was fine, and went back to the party. I knew Cyril would come looking for me, so I hid as soon as I could."

"And that's why I found you in the bushes," Leliana added, and Cat nodded.

"Cat," Alistair said, as he moved from his chair to kneel at her feet. He held out his arms, wanting to comfort her, in a way he knew she needed, but he didn't want to force her, if she wasn't ready.

He saw the momentary fear, but smiled as she pushed it away, and moved into his arms. He held her tightly in a hug, the other three moving to put a hand on her back or shoulders. He rocked slightly as he felt her shudder.

"Why were you so adamant about Hawke not finding out?" he asked, confused. "He would have helped you."

Cat gave another watery laugh, though she didn't try to move away. "No, Al… he would have gone ballistic, and killed Cyril, and who knows what else. Fenris and Anders and Issy… hell. Everyone would have wanted a piece of him."

Leliana actually smiled at that. "They would have torn him to shreds," she said.

"At the very least, Leli."

"Something is bothering me," Nathaniel spoke up. "You said Fenris came for you after some time, though you had asked that they interrupt immediately. What happened that there was such a time gap?"

"I… don't know," Cat answered, trying to move back, but being held firmly by Alistair, which she didn't really mind.

"Would they have decided to give you more time?" he asked, and Cat frowned in thought.

"No, Fenris is extremely reliable. If he was told immediately, he came immediately."

"Then something, or someone delayed him," Leliana spoke up. "Who passed this message on for you?" she asked, though she already knew. "Tallis?"

Cat nodded. "Yeah…"

"Who is Tallis?" Nathaniel asked Leliana.

"An elf, who is part of the Qunari. She was the one who brought this job to Hawke's crew in the first place."

"I see," he answered, though he didn't… not really. However he could see that Cat did, and that was what mattered.

"Well!" Duran exclaimed, seeing Cat had had about enough, and causing the others to turn to him. "This has been quite the surprising and eventful morning, wouldn't you say?" he asked. He turned to look at Cat, and gave her a wink. "We are here, anytime you need an ear, or a hug, okay doll face?"

Cat smiled widely, remembering how he had called her that when they first met, and how her life had changed right after. She could almost feel like it was happening again. "Okay," she replied with a nod.

"So then, how long can you stay?" he asked with a grin.

Varric brooded into his drink. It wasn't like him, he knew, but it seemed that the more the time passed, the worse things got in Kirkwall.

He thought back several months, when he had first met the former crow named Zevran, and both Broody and Rivaini left to help him hunt down his former guildmates.

Since then, things had been both better, and worse.

Hawke, for all that had been happening, was much more aware of his friends and strove to keep them involved in his dealings with the city. However, for all they tried to help, issues among the mages and templars continued to worsen, with Hawke in the middle of it all.

Hawke had even tried to visit the templars- make some sort of alliance, or find some common ground, only to be rebuffed by Meredith. Hawke and Aveline had then backed a noble trying to take the office of viscount, and after a month of attempts, the man had finally given up. Somehow, Meredith was able to stop anyone she didn't approve of from taking power.

Since then, there had been a strain between the guard and the templars, to the point that each were insistent that they were the foremost defenders of the city, and had no need for the other. Added to that, were those that thought the Guard Captain was no longer making good decisions for her guard.

Varric looked through the papers in front of him. He had received a short note from the Little Dove back then, not explaining where she was, or who she was with, but with Zevran's words from the night they met, it was obvious to him that she was with the Hero of Ferelden.

She spoke a line of regret to Hawke, and an apology to Fenris for not letting him help her. She ended by saying she had gotten help from a few good friends now, and was on the road to recovery, so he shouldn't worry. Which of course, made Hawke nearly insane wondering and worrying what that was all about- and he couldn't even question Fenris about it.

Varric sighed, and took another drink. Then there was Blondie and his new crusade to get his friend Adrius out of Kirkwall, though seeing the state that Anders was in, had the recently escaped mage wanting to stay and help his rescuer. So now they had two reckless mages living in the clinic in Darktown. Varric could only be grateful they still had a way of making money through the whores at the Rose, so they didn't starve.

To top it off, Merrill was a constant conundrum. At times helping Hawke and the elves in the alienage, having made friends with a few there- and other times spending days on end in front of her creepy mirror that gave no reflection, trying to figure out how to get it to work.

Varric flipped to the next page, his own letter that he was trying to write to the Little Dove, but he knew even as he scanned his own words that he wouldn't be able to send it. There was no news that he could give, without giving her great worry. He couldn't tell her about Hawke's struggles, nor about the mission Rivaini and Broody were undertaking, or even what her friends were up to, without worrying that she would scan the page and decide to come back prematurely.

Even if he admitted to himself that that was exactly what he wanted.

For all the good that Hawke was doing, Varric could see the fatigue, and the depression. He had very little to be happy about these days, and Varric couldn't help but want her here to help. If it was just about sex, he would have already sent Hawke to the Rose- and in fact had done so on multiple occasions in the hopes that it would help. But that wasn't it.

Varric was absolutely certain Hawke was in love with a capital L. And he was simply trying to survive it. And really, what good was a friend with contacts, if he couldn't even contact the one Hawke wanted? Do I even really want to put her into this situation now? He wondered for the umpteenth time.

Varric raised his glass in a mocking toast to love, before swallowing the rest of the whiskey in one go.

Cat opened her eyes, smiling at the sunshine that made its way into her bedroom. Waking up had been almost a joy at Soldier's Peak, since she knew there were two wardens waiting down at the training yard for her, ready and willing to help her improve her skills.

They were constantly fighting over who got to spend time with her, and who would be helping Duran for the day, and worked endlessly to make her smile. Knowing that, how could she do anything but grin at them?

At the beginning, Duran had taken the pilfered warden armor away, though he found some clothes for her so she didn't have to put Isabela's gear back on. However, after nearly five months of spending every day training with them, he had gotten the armorers to make her a new set in warden colors, making her squeal in happiness.

Though she didn't wear it very often, just having it made her so very happy. And of course she couldn't wait to show Hawke…

Thinking of Garrett had her sitting down, and placing a hand to her heart. She missed him. She hadn't known just how much until he wasn't there. Everyday, she would see or think of something she wanted to share with him, only to remember that she couldn't.

Al was a true friend in every sense of the word, and reminded her of Fenris with how strong and yet humble he could be.

Nathaniel reminded her of Isabela, and while she knew he may not appreciate the comparison- they were both sinfully gorgeous, outrageously flirtatious, and made her feel so at ease that it was hard to not simply fall for either of them outright. Isabela had been relatively easy to turn down since she wasn't into women like that, but Nathaniel was proving more difficult- and more stubborn.

But all in all, even as she felt herself softening towards the handsome archer, even as she felt her heart beat faster when he would put his arms around her to show her the correct stance- - she only had to think of Garrett, and would be unable to see Nathaniel as anything other than a friend. There was simply no comparison.

Smiling to herself as she stood back up and got her holsters on, Cat couldn't help but wonder what her friends in Kirkwall were doing. She hadn't heard from anyone, including Leliana, the entire time she had been here. Yes, she knew she was supposed to be hiding- and remembering who she was protecting was the thing that kept her there.

Grabbing her daggers and pushing them into their sheaths, Cat strode to the door and out it quickly. Today should be a day of sparring with Alistair, and I'm more than ready to take him down, she thought with a grin, heading to the training pitch.

"What's this all about?" Cat asked as Nathaniel led her towards Duran's office.

"I'm not sure," he replied, giving her a glance from her right. "But I am certain that there is a good reason, since it is only the three of us that were summoned."

"Hmm, good point," she replied. "So Al is meeting us there?" she asked.

"Yes, or so I assume," he said.

She glanced back at him, giving a smirk. "Oh really? You mean you don't know Al's whereabouts at all times?" she teased.

"I keep my eyes on someone else these days," he said with a smile.

"Nate…" she said, the teasing gone as her expression changed to concern.

"I know, I know," he said, giving her a smile. "But it is my time and my feelings to do with as I please."

Cat continued to walk, turning up the stairs with Nathaniel beside her, his hand coming up to her back as they ascended.

At the top of the stairs, she stopped, and turned, Nathaniel mirroring her movements. She looked up into his face, and noted that while he looked serious, she could see the gentleness underneath.

"I don't want you to get hurt," she said softly. "I especially don't want to be the one to hurt you."

"Like I said," he answered, bringing a hand up to her face, and she leaned back to avoid it. He smiled sadly and lowered it, before straightening up. "You never know, I may change your mind."

"I don't think so," she answered, giving him a look. "It isn't like I'm not tempted," she said with a smile, chuckling at the pleased grin he suddenly sported. "But, to be honest, that's true of almost all my friends." She laughed a little louder at his wry look.

"Don't give me that look, you should know it's true." She held up her hand, and started counting with her fingers as she listed them. "Hawke, Fenris, Anders," she stopped as Nathaniel snorted at the mention of the mage. "And though I am not into women- Issy, Aveline, Merrill, Leli, Morrigan, and even Wynne all have their charms."

"Oh really?" he asked, pulling her along towards the commander's office.

"Indeed," she replied. "And then there is you, and of course Al."

"Of course," he snipped.

"Carver is a no, he looks like and is related to Hawke, so there is absolutely no chance there. And though I don't think they feel anything towards me, both Varric and Duran would be hard to say no to."

"Interesting to know where I stand."

Cat turned to see Duran behind her, giving her one of the biggest smirks she had seen him wear.

She returned his grin, though she blushed a little. "Sorry Duran, just trying to get through this one's thick skull," she said pointing to Nathaniel.

Duran glanced over to his third in command. "Good luck with that," he said, keeping his smirk in place. "Though his tenacity is one of the things I like most about him."

"Don't you side with him on this," Cat threatened in jest, and both men raised their hands in surrender.

"Am I late?" Alistair asked as he topped the staircase.

"Only if you wanted to hear Cat say that she could be tempted to have an affair with you," Nathaniel said grumpily.

Alistair flushed, looking between the three of them, and wondering if they were teasing him.

"Oh… uh… that's… uh, nice," he stuttered.

"Don't let him get to you, Al," Cat responded, giving his shoulder a swat along with a wink. "He's just jealous that he's not the only one that I consider quite a catch."

"Ohhhh?" Alistair said, catching on, and giving her a questioning look. "Does that mean that you think I'm a catch?"

"Not after that," she muttered. Duran chuckled, and waved them into his office. "Yes, Al, you're all ridiculously well suited to being caught," she said, her voice dripping snark.

"Well…" he replied, moving into the office and shutting the door behind him. "So commander, maybe we should change the subject?" he asked pointedly.

Duran laughed, offering them all seats. "I would be delighted to," he said. "There was a reason or two that I had you all come meet with me."

"We're all ears, commander," Alistair said happily, ignoring the looks Nathaniel and Cat were giving him.

Duran took a few moments, giving Cat a look that she was able to interpret, causing her to steel herself.

"Cat mentioned something a few days ago, that she wanted to speak to us… about what may come."

Alistair and Nathaniel were both quiet, as they looked at Cat curiously.

"I've told her before and I'll say it again in front of both of you," Duran continued. "I have told Cat that we do not need any information from her, nothing that she isn't willing to give."

Nathaniel was quick to nod along, and though Alistair was slower he also nodded.

Cat swallowed, still unsure if she should say anything, but knowing it was the right thing to do.

"So there is something that is worrying me," she said, thinking her words carefully. "Something that stems from the Wardens."

That grabbed them, and all three males gave her their undivided attention.

"I'm certain you three are aware of something called the Architect?" she asked.

"Considering I heard about it from you, I think you know the answer," Duran responded curiously. "Nathaniel helped to kill it, and we have told Alistair about it as well."

"That makes things easier," she murmured. She looked back up to them, and drew in a breath. "He wasn't the only one," she said resolutely.

"The only one what?" Alistair asked, horrified. "The only Architect?! There are more?!"

Cat shook her head, and gave a grimace. "Sort of. Not the only sentient darkspawn."

"You're serious, aren't you?" Nathaniel asked.

"Very," she replied. "The wardens are holding him in slumber through spells, that have to be reinforced every so often. Through blood magic."

"News to be certain, though not wholly unsurprising," Duran commented, while the other two wardens looked at him in shock.

"Not surprising?!" Alistair exclaimed. "We knew there were secrets, yes, but this?"

"What possible gain could the wardens have for keeping something like this?" Nathaniel asked.

"Perhaps they simply couldn't kill it," Cat answered, and Nathaniel looked to her, pondering the implications.

"I suppose if that were not possible, then the solution would be containment…" he replied.

"Cat, do you know why they couldn't kill it?" Duran asked.

"Something to do with the fact that he is one of the original darkspawn," she answered. "It gives him power over the blight, and any tainted creatures."

They were silent once more as they took this in.

"Similarly to an archdemon, this darkspawn is able to move to another tainted creature. The difference however, from what I can remember, is that having the warden deal the final blow will not kill it."

Eyes wide, the three of them took in this information. "That… is not good news," Duran stated.

"No wonder the wardens can't kill it," Nathaniel murmured.

"And when it is freed?" Duran asked, smirking at Cat's shocked expression. "I can read between the lines well enough," he said. "What happens?"

"It is able to control the wardens, well… any tainted creature really. It uses the wardens to start a war across all of Thedas."

"Is there nothing we can do to prevent that?" Alistair asked in concern.

"That, my friend, is exactly what I have been wrestling with. Obviously, since my knowledge is almost gone, not to mention the changes that have occurred, I can't be sure of anything. However, if the story is as I know it…"

There was a pause, and Duran looked at her seriously. "Yes?" he asked.

"Then Garrett and Carver Hawke's father was the last mage to reinforce those spells that are holding it. Which means their blood is the only thing that could set it free."

"What exactly are you suggesting here, Cat?" Nathaniel asked, sounding almost angry. "That we kill off the Hawkes so this darkspawn can't awaken?"

"What?! NO! Of course not!"

"Then what?"

She looked at each of them. "I'm suggesting that when others under its spell come to take Garrett and Carver there, to free it- that we do not let any wardens in, or out. I'm fairly sure it can't control nor possess those that are untainted. So we give it no opportunity to escape."

"This is not something I have even heard of," Duran spoke up. "I'll have to gather more information, demand answers from the Wardens in Orlais."

"It is crucial that there not be any wardens there," Cat warned. "No matter how much you may want to assist."

"Can you tell us what this creature will do?" Nathaniel asked.

"Many things," Cat replied. "One thing he can do, is manipulate the taint, potentially giving a false calling to every warden at once."

Eyes widened again, as they understood the significance.

"I can't imagine what the wardens would do if they thought they were all dying at once," Duran said grimly.

"There are many wardens who see great injustices as necessary when speaking of stopping a blight," Cat replied. "This would be no different, and the wardens would undoubtedly come up with a desperate act."

"I am fairly certain I don't want to know what that act is," Nathaniel commented. "So the idea is to stop this darkspawn, before it can wreck havoc?"

"That is my hope," she replied. "Though I am actually telling you three this, to get your opinions. There is no telling what would happen, even if we were to stop this creature."

"What other options are there?" Alistair asked.

"Doing nothing," Duran spoke up, looking to Cat, his eyebrow raised. He noted the stress that she carried, and wished he could take it from her.

"Nothing?" Alistair repeated. "How could you even think such a thing?!" he demanded of Duran, then looked at Cat as well.

"Think about it Alistair," Duran said calmly. "If we let things happen as they are meant to, then we can minimize injury, death, and the overall effect on the world as a whole. If we change even a single outcome, we would be in the dark as to what was to come. Cat's knowledge would be useless."

"Exactly," Cat replied. "True, I have changed some things, saving those that should have died for example. And such things were not without their consequences. Others have died, and I could not prevent it."

"I see," he mumbled.

"Not to mention that strife and suffering makes us stronger," she added, feeling embarrassed when they looked at her in confusion. "Just think about it," she added. "You would not be the men you are today if you did not have to overcome obstacles and suffering."

Duran smirked. "No, we would most likely all be in the royal courts, wouldn't we?" he asked.

Cat smiled in reply. "What I am asking, is that you think this over. I don't know exactly when this will happen, and you can be involved to a certain point. People will try to take the Hawkes, both Garrett and Carver, and will most likely be Carta dwarves, though they are not the masterminds."

"When that happens… we'll know that it will be time to face this," Nathaniel said. "I'm not certain how you two feel about all this, but I would like some time to think it over."

"A wise idea," Duran said, and turned back to Cat. "Thank you for including us, for trusting us with this."

"Of course," she replied, surprised. "I completely trust all of you, and I know you are striving to make this a better world."

"Well then," Duran continued, giving her a pleased nod. "There was something I wanted your opinion on as well."

"Mine?" Cat asked, surprised.

Duran opened a drawer, and handed Cat a note. She opened it and read:

Haring 9:35 Dragon

Warden Commander,

We recently received a message from one Jerrik Dace of Orzammar. He requires your aid in locating an expedition lost in a place called "Amgarrak," somewhere in the Deep Roads. I have enclosed the letter.

Your faithful servant,

Seneschal Garevel

Cat looked up after reading it, and asked, "What would you like to know?"