He was restless.

Nathaniel couldn't deny that staying in Kirkwall with Cat was showing him sides of her that he had never known. It was almost as if she was a different person around the Champion and his crew, than the person he had spend almost every day of the past year with.

Though the way she laughed or teased them reminded him of her days with Alistair on the training field.

As each day passed, and he spent time with Cat, he began to realize just how different she was when she wasn't with the wardens. There, she had relied on him and Alistair for the day to day, whether it was training, or simply wanting to learn more of Ferelden, or just to feel safe.

But in Kirkwall… she was not reliant on him at all, in fact it was the opposite as he relied on her. He observed as she would spend each day with someone new, helping with seeming mundane tasks, though she would smile and happily chatter through the experience. One day would be paperwork for Hawke, the next a visit to the whore house, followed by herb gathering and poultice making, then shopping. Whatever she did, he discovered that she seemed to thrive.

However, each day brought a new strain to him, as he tried to feel useful or productive. Hawke was glad to have his help with minor jobs, but as a warden, he knew he couldn't get involved in the politics of the city.

And though they were making him feel a part of things- the dwarf had even given him a nickname, though he wasn't sure if that was good or bad- yet he still felt, and most likely would continue to feel, as though he were just slightly on the outside, not quite a part of the group. He had thought that it would be the same for Cat, especially being gone so long, but he had been wrong about that.

He continued to muse over these thoughts, even as he entered the tavern, and looked for Hawke. He found him seated with Varric, and moved over to join them.

"Shade," Varric greeted him, and Nathaniel gave a nod. "Haven't seen you with the Little Dove for a few days," he added.

"Cat had told me of her plans, and I admit, they did not sound appealing," Nathaniel answered, feeling slightly guilty as Varric and Hawke chuckled.

"Let me guess," Hawke said. "Making poultices with Anders?" he asked.

"That," Nathaniel nodded, "and going to buy more clothes, and then having some new armor made. She thought it would be bad if she continued to wear her warden armor when on jobs with you."

"Oh?" Hawke asked with a grin. "I wouldn't mind. I could tell everyone that I had the grey wardens on my side."

"That would get a few interesting reactions, Hawke," Varric said with a smirk.

"Undoubtedly," Nathaniel commented dryly. "But it sounds as if that is what she is trying to avoid." "Cat never lets me have fun," Hawke complained in jest.

There was silence as Nathaniel looked at Hawke, trying to gauge the man, and Hawke glanced back in amusement.

"Find what you're looking for?" he finally asked.

"I am not certain," Nathaniel admitted.

"Well, ask away," Hawke replied. "Though fair warning, you may find yourself immortalized in one of Varric's books."

"Don't worry, Shade, I'll make you look good," Varric said with a grin.

"It's not anything like that," Nathaniel said, getting embarrassed. "I just… you are very different from the man I met in the Deep Roads who was trying to save his brother."

Hawke smiled wryly. "If it helps, I was a different man then. I have been through many things that have changed me since then."

"Fighting the Arishok," Nathaniel said in understanding.

"Among other things," Hawke agreed. He looked at the warden, and in a moment of clarity understood what the man was thinking. "Cat is different too, isn't she?" he asked.

Nathaniel looked up, surprised that the man could read him so well, when not many could. Then he nodded. "Yes, so similar, and yet…" he let that thought go, as he looked around the room. "This place, Kirkwall…uh, no offense…"

"I'm sure we've heard worse," Hawke smirked at Varric.

"Or said worse ourselves," Varric shot back.

"Yes, well…" Nathaniel continued. "But she is so happy here, and I couldn't understand it. Even seeing it, day to day… I didn't really understand. But I think the picture is becoming clearer."

"Oh?" Hawke asked again, curious.

"It's you," Nathaniel said, losing the fluster he had a moment ago. "All of you. You are a part of her, and she wasn't really different when she was with us, just… not whole, if you understand what I mean."

"Actually, I do," Hawke replied with a smile. "Though you should know that it is the same the other way as well. You all are a part of her, that we didn't understand. That piece is missing when she is here."

"I see," Nathaniel said, a smile on his face for a moment before he became stoic again. He looked up at Hawke, his expression serious. "I could make her happy," he declared, as if it were a fact that the other could not deny. "But now, I wonder just how happy she could be without this piece. Either way, that isn't for me to decide."

Hawke felt for the man, and was sure it showed on his face.

"I know that you are aware of my intentions, and I wanted to let you know that I will always be there to catch her, if you are foolish enough to let her go." Nathaniel smirked at Hawke, seeing the surprise and insult cross his face. Better than the pity I just saw there… he thought.

The noise of the room increased just then, and the three of them looked over to the door to see the object of their conversation walking in with the rest of the crew.

"You've never struck me as a fool, Hawke," Nathaniel added quietly, before turning to greet them.

"Nate, I'm glad you're here!" Cat exclaimed as she sat next to him, and giving him a push over so that she was across from Hawke. She noted he had a strange expression on his face, but didn't mention it. "We went by the house, but didn't find you."

"Looking for me?" Nathaniel asked, raising an eyebrow at Hawke, and taking a drink from his mug at the glare he received in return. It seems that got to him, he thought. Why does that please me so much?

"Of course," Cat replied. "We couldn't all go for dinner without you, now could we?"

"Including me in the crew now?" Nathaniel responded with a smirk.

"And why not?" Cat huffed at him.

"Actually, I was just about to tell Hawke that I was heading back to Ferelden tomorrow," Nathaniel said, gaining surprised looks from the table, including from Hawke.

"We have to go back already?" Cat said in dismay, causing the others to bristle.

"Not we," he answered. "It feels as if the danger to you has passed, and if not, at least those that would come after you are finding something akin to a mama bear in their way."

Cat smiled, "I doubt they would like being described that way, but Issy and Fenris are definitely good at getting in the way of me and trouble."

"And I'm sure the commander is wondering what has become of us," Nathaniel continued. "Not to mention the other wardens."

"I wish I thought to give a more proper farewell," Cat said with a pout.

"I will relay your words," Nathaniel said, giving her a shoulder a squeeze. "Besides, do not forget that you owe both the commander and Alistair a wish."

Cat scrunched her nose, even as the others looked at her in speculation or confusion.

"Shade?" Varric asked gleefully. "I know I am not the only one curious about that comment. Care to explain?" he asked.

"Ah…" Nathaniel said, seeing the look on Cat's face he decided it was only fair, since there weren't many opportunities to share stories of the warden's exploits. "Very well, but I'll have to ask that this doesn't get spread around, since it involves wardens."

Hearing the agreements from the others, Nathaniel looked to Cat, who was smiling happily. "Do you want to tell it?" he asked.

She turned back to her friends with a grin. "Well, we were on a mission to find a party that had been lost in the deep roads. Dwarves are constantly trying to take back cities and sites from the darkspawn you see, and parties such as this are not unusual. However, we were asked to help find the survivors by one of the family members…"

Without giving any specifics, Cat shared the story of Amgarrak and the harvester, and their subsequent fight with it, leading to Nathaniel, Alistair and Duran giving the final blow, and therefore her debt.

Nathaniel observed as he always did, wondering again why he felt better now that he decided he was leaving, than he had in the past few weeks. Determined not to dwell on it, he listened to the story, committing the feel and look of the group around him to memory so that he could share it later. Duran and Alistair would be delighted to know that they had been right after all.

Cat wandered slowly towards home, having seen Nathaniel off early that morning. She wasn't depressed exactly, just feeling a little sorry for herself. Now she was all alone in that great big mansion. She could easily get Anders or Merrill to stay with her, but she hated to seem so needy.

Besides, she hadn't been alone in years, so this could be a good thing, being able to focus solely on herself for a bit.

She grimaced a little to herself at that thought, but decided it probably couldn't hurt. Of course if things had worked out better with Hawke, she would be pretty excited to have her place to herself…

She shook her head from the thoughts, telling herself not to get carried away.

"Catarina."

Cat looked over slowly, knowing only one person who called her by her entire name and always with such disdain.

"Meredith," she replied, equally disgusted.

"I heard that you were back in Kirkwall," the knight commander said as she moved towards the other woman, a few templars following in her wake. Cat noticed quickly that Cullen wasn't among them.

"Yes," Cat answered, her anger making her words clipped and icy. "I realized that when I was banned from entering the Gallows for some reason."

"A necessary precaution," Meredith said with sly smirk. "It is unseemly for a unattached woman to be seen visiting the templars so frequently. And your influence over the Captain was… concerning."

"Concerning?!" Cat said in surprise. "For whom? It was no different that a woman visiting her brother."

Meredith gave her a disbelieving look. "Tell yourself what you will, but I am no fool. I do not know why you want the Captain when you already have the Champion wrapped around your finger, but I will not allow it again. He is free of you, and you will not see him again."

Cat shook her head, not understanding how she and Meredith got into such a position. "What happened Meredith? Why do you hate me so?" she asked.

"Hate?" Meredith laughed coldly. "You give yourself too much credit. I think nothing of you, because that is what you are. Nothing."

Cat's eyes narrowed. "Oh really? If you really thought so little of me, than I wouldn't worry you so much." She gave the commander a large smile. "What's the real reason Meredith? The fact that I don't gush over you as your cronies do? Or the fact that Cullen was beginning to question-"

"Silence!" Meredith hissed, interrupting her, and stepping close in order to intimidate her, growing more angry when the woman just stared back at her, not looking unnerved in the slightest.

They stood there for a few moments in silence, just glaring at the other, until Meredith seemed to calm, and her creepy smile returned.

"Enjoy it while you can, Catarina," she said quietly. "Soon enough, your mage friends will be back in the Gallows where they belong, and you will come begging for even a glimpse of them."

Her voice became so quiet, it was almost a hiss in her ear, but Cat stayed stoic. "And after you beg enough, I'll give them to you- brands and all."

Cat was seething, but she held her ground, even as she wanted desperately to punch the other woman in the face. Though, for as satisfying as that would be, it would just make things worse for her friends.

"Knight Commander! We found him! He's in the courtyard square speaking to the people!"

The two women turned to the shout, and Meredith stepped back. "You must excuse me, I need to deal with a mage."

"I think I'd be interested to hear what he has to say," Cat said even as she walked off, determined to get there before the templars, even if all she could do was warn him. Meredith was in the mood to do some damage, and she would hate for the Grand Enchanter to suffer for it.

"Champion! You must come quickly!"

"What is it?" Hawke asked the citizen that had run up to him, just as he was headed home.

"The Grand Enchanter is speaking in the square… speaking out against the templars!" he said in shock.

Hawke sighed, wondering what had gotten into the man, but he knew he should help. Once the Knight Commander found out, there would be hell to pay. Changing direction, he followed the man into the center of the city.

They got there quickly, and Hawke pushed himself through the crowd, hearing Orsino speaking loudly.

"I know that you fear us!" he said. "Knight Commander Meredith uses that fear to take control of your city! She opposes every effort to replace Viscount Dumar! Have you not seen the chaos of her reign?! Will you continue to allow it?!"

Hawke gave a low whistle, even as he made it to the front of the crowd. The Enchanter isn't pulling his punches… he thought. Meredith will be furious.

He could hear the murmurs of the crowd, and it sounded as if the group were agreeing with what the enchanter was saying, which was pleasantly surprising to Hawke.

The crowd shifted and opened, and Hawke frowned as the templars pushed people aside in order to let Meredith through.

"Return to your business!" she called. "This farce is over!"

Hawke locked eyes with Orsino, seeing on his face that he was desperate to not let this one chance go by.

"Wait!" he shouted. "Perhaps there are some that would disagree with you, Knight Commander!" he gestured towards Hawke, who sighed again, even as he stepped forward.

"Do not hide behind the Champion," she sneered. "He has no role in this."

Hawke stepped forward, knowing that the people were now looking to him. "It seems that the two of you have quite the argument going," he said, trying to lessen the tension, but Meredith just bristled.

"This is not an argument. This is treason," she declared.

"I think the Champion's views would be appreciated," Orsino said, standing his ground. "Or do you fear what he has to say?"

"I fear nothing," Meredith countered.

Hawke looked to Orsino. "What are you trying to accomplish here?" he asked. "Starting a rebellion?"

"No," Orsino said. "I merely feel that the people of the city deserve to know what is really happening!"

"And then what?" Meredith snapped. "They tear down the Gallows with pitchforks and torches? That would be better?"

"It couldn't be worse," Orsino muttered. "Your refusal to listen to reason leaves me no choice!"

"What I refuse to listen to are excuses. Perhaps you are ill fit to your position if you cannot understand this."

"Threatening each other isn't going to help matters," Hawke said to the pair of them.

"And what should I do instead?" Meredith snipped at him. "Allow this to continue?

"Your measures have become more extreme over the last few years," Hawke said diplomatically.

"And you could do better?" she countered.

"That is not what I am saying," Hawke backpedaled.

"Did not one of your own fall to a blood mage? How well did you protect her?" Meredith asked with malice. "Did you not almost lose your own life that night?"

"That has nothing to do with this!" Cat yelled from behind them, and Hawke turned in surprise. "Don't you dare use Olivia to try to justify your own wrongdoings!"

The crowd was all staring at her openly now, and Meredith was glaring daggers. Cat watched as her face changed in front of the people, and her voice became soft. "Cold corpses speak louder than abstract freedoms, do they not?" she asked. "As long as that is true, Kirkwall needs its templars more than it needs a new ruler."

"Until when?" Orsino asked. "When will you stop seeing evil in every corner?"

"When it is no longer there," Meredith responded.

"Evil is not only to be found in mages!" Cat shouted. "Evil can be anywhere! Man, or woman, elf and dwarf, mage and templar!"

"Everyone knows that temptation preys on every mage, no matter how noble their intentions," Meredith continued, speaking over Cat. "And you would have me do nothing?"

"I would have you not paint us all with the same brush!" Orsino snapped back. "You press us into desperate acts and then use that as justification to press even further!"

"This argument is going nowhere," Hawke said gently, seeing the crowd getting anxious.

"Agreed," Meredith said, smiling as she sensed victory. "Stand aside if you cannot see what is right here."

Hawke looked to Orsino, feeling bad, but unsure of what to do. It was a circular argument, and Meredith was unwilling to compromise.

"What of Meredith trying to take control of the city?"

Hawke recognized Cat's voice, and by the look on Meredith's face, so did she, however, when they turned, she was no longer visible. He turned back to the Knight Commander.

"It's a good question," he said with a smirk.

"The city," Meredith spat out. "I am trying to keep order until there is a ruler capable of succeeding where Dumar failed."

"And if not?" Orsino asked. "Will the templars rule the city forever?"

"We will not stand idly by while the city burns around us!"

"The templar order exists to guard the Chantry and the Circle. I am merely suggesting that you let the nobility rule the city."

"I do not need you or anyone to tell me my duty, mage."

"I'm sure the nobility can meet, and come up with a candidate to rule," Hawke said thoughtfully. "It certainly cannot be worse."

"That is not going to happen!" Meredith declared.

"You see?" Orsino asked Hawke. "She is incapable of seeing reason!"

"You are naive Champion," Meredith said in dismissal. "This discussion is over!"

"You will find that not all will bend to your will, Knight Commander," Orsino said, even as he stood his ground.

Cat watched it all from within the crowd, seeing as the Grand Cleric came and sent both of them on their way. Orsino reluctantly, and Meredith shaking in fury. She turned to Hawke, no doubt to thank him for stepping in, and she couldn't help but wonder what she thought she had accomplished that day.

"I didn't do much," Hawke told Elthina. "In fact, I think they need to be sat down, most likely with you, and come to some sort of compromise."

"Oh my," Elthina said gently. "The power that you think I have over them. I'm afraid I have no such ability."

"Then this will only continue to fester," Hawke said in disgust.

"I fear you are right," she said, as she walked away.

Hawke looked around as the crowd dispersed, seeing Cat now that she wasn't hiding, and moved over to her. "Did you have to antagonize her?" he asked.

She turned to glare at him, softening slightly as she saw how tired he was. "She deserved it," Cat replied, but didn't go into detail. She didn't want to tell Hawke what the dragon lady had threatened her with. "I'm sorry you were dragged into that though," she added.

"What happened?" Hawke asked, seeing the look on her face.

"Hmm?" she asked, turning back to him, and he just raised an eyebrow. "Nothing much, I ran into Meredith before she was called here, and I asked why she banned me from the Gallows. Apparently it's improper to visit Cullen, and she'll do everything to keep me away from him."

Hawke may have agreed with her, but he wasn't going to tell Cat that. Besides, he hated seeing the sadness on her face.

"I told her, it was like visiting my brother," she continued. "But she didn't believe me."

Hawke did the only thing he could think of, and put his arm over her shoulder. He couldn't speak his mind, for while he thought that that was exactly how Cat felt, he did not believe that about the Knight Captain.

"I'm sorry," he finally said.

"I'll get over it," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist and giving him a squeeze, then letting go. "I'm going to go see Anders. I'll see you later?" she asked.

"Hanged Man for dinner?" he suggested, and she gave a nod. "Sundown then. And don't stew about it much. Cullen isn't so great after all."

"What?" she asked, confused why he would say that.

"Well he was obviously the one who told Meredith about Olivia, isn't he? Perhaps he's been using you to feed her information this whole time."

Cat frowned at him, and he looked surprised. "What? I'm just trying to help you feel better."

"Do me a favor Hawke," she replied, even as she turned. "And don't." She started walking away, but he heard her grumble, "Maker, how did I come to love someone so dense?!"

Hawke stood there, watching her leave. His hand moved to rub his chest, the unusual feeling appearing every time he heard her say that she loved him. And at times like that, a part of him wanted to answer in kind.

And yet, after she left, the doubts would creep in. How could he feel like he loved her when she was near, and practically nothing when she wasn't? He didn't understand himself, let alone his feelings for her.

He turned back towards home, determined. There was only one person who he knew that he could talk to.

"Garrett darling, what's the matter?" Leandra asked, as her son pulled her into the kitchen. "I've got several things to handle before the end of the day."

"I'm sorry Mother, but I need to speak with you," he answered. "Orana?" he called, the timid elf girl making her presence known behind him. "Can we have tea please?" he asked.

"Of course Master," she replied, moving to do as he asked.

Hawke winced at her words. "Orana, what have I said about calling me that?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, Master Hawke," she replied, feeling much more comfortable than she had when he had first asked her that question. "But it is just an address, sir. I know that I am free, and I do not belong to you."

"Well, there's that at least," he muttered. "You do realize Fenris will kill me if he heard you call me that?" he grumbled to her.

Orana gave a trilling giggle, and moved to pour the heated water into cups. "Fear not Master Hawke, I will not let anyone hurt you."

"Thank you Orana," Leandra said as the drinks were placed in front of them.

"Call if you need anything," she replied as she left the room.

"Well?" Leandra asked. "What is this sudden need to speak about?"

"Love," Hawke answered, and Leandra's eyebrows rose.

"Oh?" she asked.

"How… I mean, when…" Hawke kept trying to start, and yet failing to actually ask a question.

"Let me see what I can guess," Leandra said. "This is about Catarina?" she asked and he nodded. "And you aren't certain how she feels?"

He shook his head, which had her brightening. "Then that must mean you are uncertain of yourself," she decided, and he gave her a miserable nod.

"If I had asked you if you loved her before she left… I feel that you would have answered in agreement," Leandra said. "So what has changed?"

Hawke moved his hand across his chest again, rubbing as if his heart were giving him pain. "She… she left without even saying a word. I didn't get to say goodbye, I didn't get to try to talk her out of it. She was just gone."

"You've told me what was happening, in general terms at least," Leandra replied. "And the feeling I had was that while you didn't like it, you understand why she did."

"That's true," he agreed. "But it still hurt."

"Ah…"

Hawke looked up. "Ah, what?" he asked.

"She hurt you son," she answered.

"Yeah, that's what I just said," he said in confusion. "So what?"

"Do you think perhaps that you are protecting yourself from being hurt like that again?" she asked gently. "If you let people get that close, that means they can hurt you."

"I … I don't know," he answered. "I'm more concerned that I can't seem to decide my own feelings. It seems that they change throughout the day."

"Oh… I see."

"You do?" he asked hopefully.

"And you think because your feelings aren't certain, you cannot move forward," she continued.

"Exactly!" he said feeling relieved. "I'm so glad someone understands."

"Oh Garrett," Leandra sighed.

"What?" he asked. "What did I do?"

"Nothing darling," she answered with a smile. "And you won't be able to figure out the problem on your own." She stood then, moving over to look her first born son in the eyes, smoothing back his hair, her own love for him swamping her.

"I won't?" he asked, looking pained.

"Do you want to know what I think?" she asked, and he nodded. "I think you love her, very much. And I think that you are afraid of that, which is completely natural. Giving yourself to another - being vulnerable- is frightening."

She stepped back, her hand on his shoulder. "However, if that fear is stopping you, then there is something else that is there. Something that you need to resolve. Whether it is fear of trusting, or fear of being hurt, or even the fear of not being enough."

She smiled at him and stood straight again. "I think you know what it is. And only you, and perhaps Cat, can resolve it. Thinking it to death won't help. You need to face it head on."

Garrett looked into the face of the woman who had never let him down, the one person that was in his life that he loved without question or doubt. And he decided that she was right.

"Thank you Mother. I love you."

"And I you," she answered. "Now, be sure and tell me once you figure it out, all right?"

"All right."

"I thought you were going to get Curly to the Hanged Man?" Varric asked Aveline.

"That was the plan, however his missive said to meet at the Keep," she answered.

"Sounds fishy," Varric grumbled. "Is that why I am here?" he asked.

"No," she replied. "You're here to help get him to the Hanged Man. You excel at getting people to do things that they don't want to do."

"I suppose I should take that as a compliment," he replied.

"As you will," she answered, even as he gave her a beady glare.

They continued into the Viscount's Keep, glancing around and seeing the Knight Captain looking unnerved, moved over to him.

"Ah, Guard Captain," Cullen greeted Aveline.

"Knight Captain," Aveline replied.

"So Curly, why meet here at the Keep? It seems so formal," Varric asked.

"C…C… Curly?" Cullen stammered in shock.

"Eh, it seemed to fit," Varric replied with a shrug.

Cullen looked at the dwarf again, blinking a few times, then ignoring him turned back to Aveline. "Guard Captain, I have continued to gain complaints," he said, and Aveline stepped back in surprise.

"What?" she asked. "But I thought we agreed they were baseless?" she asked.

"Yes," Cullen agreed. "However there are some that believe the way to handle the current crisis of leadership is to … uh… consolidate authority. As long as these complaints continue, baseless or not, they will serve as justification of eliminating the position of guard captain."

"Whoa, what?" Varric interrupted. "What's going on here Aveline?" he asked.

"Nothing I can't handle," she replied.

"That's not how friendship works Aveline," he said, glaring up at her. "Hawke won't be happy to hear that you aren't sharing."

She glared down at him stubbornly. "Baseless, anonymous accusations are nothing to worry about," she said.

Varric looked from her to the concerned face of the Knight Captain. "Curly just said they were looking at taking AWAY your position, Aveline."

He watched as she stubbornly stood there, refusing to answer him. "Very well then. Curly? I need you to come with me."

"I'm sorry?" Cullen asked.

"We've got to tell Hawke, and he's going to have questions for you."

"Varric, no!" Aveline said.

"Aveline, either you tell him, or I am going to," Varric threatened. "And Curly, if you don't come now, then Hawke is going to come to you at the Gallows. Which would you prefer?"

Cullen and Aveline stood there, deciding between each of their two options before both sighed. "Fine," Aveline said, as Cullen answered, "Very well."

"Glad you can both see reason," Varric said. "Then let's get going." He started out of the Keep with the two of them, wondering how their plans had gone so far south.

"Anders!" Cat called as she walked into the clinic. "Are you home?"

"Cat," he answered, standing up from his makeshift desk. "I didn't know you were coming."

She smiled, as she had been thinking for some time now how to get to be a part of Anders' plans, mostly so that she could limit the death toll- somehow freeing her friend from the guilt of that act in the future. But, she also knew that the mage rebellion needed to start, and that Anders wouldn't be able to move on in his life until he did something.

So knowing, she thought she had a good plan. At least, she hoped she did.

"You won't believe what happened in Hightown just a while ago," she started. He gave her a look of curiosity, and she smiled again. "We should probably sit, it will take awhile."

He offered her a seat, and started to get her a drink when she heard a voice.

"Anders! Is someone here?" she asked in surprise, turning to look behind her.

"Ah… yes, I meant to introduce you, but… I wasn't certain it was my place."

"Huh?" she asked, looking at him, then back as a familiar looking man stepped out from one of the smaller rooms. Her head tilted to the side as she took in his smiling face, her memory searching for why he looked familiar.

As he looked nervously at her, it clicked in her mind. "I'm… trying to remember your name, because I didn't think I would ever forget it. No, no, don't tell me," she said quickly, before he could tell her. "I'll remember, just give me a minute."

She looked at him, moving closer as she remembered how he had saved her life, healing her in the middle of the Gallows courtyard, knowing the risk to his own life.

Remembering, hopefully, she got close enough to throw her arms around the older mage. "Adrius!" she exclaimed happily. "I've thought for so long that you were dead, or worse because you helped me."

"I'm surprised that you do remember," he said as she released him and stepped back. "I certainly didn't expect that reaction."

"Why ever not?" she asked with a smile. "You literally saved my life. I'm so absurdly happy to know that you didn't lose your own."

"Well, that was thanks to your friends here," he said gesturing to Anders.

"Actually, it was Hawke," Anders said with a smile. "I was just the one to get him into the Gallows."

"Really?!" Cat exclaimed, her hand moving to her chest as her heart pounded. "He did that?"

"Yes," Anders said, gesturing both of them to the table to sit. "Hawke went to the Gallows to gain information as to where Adrius was. He used the reason of trying to vouch for him, because he saved your life. Apparently the Knight Captain agreed, but the Knight Commander was adamant about the consequences necessary. The Captain gave Hawke the information we needed, though he wasn't aware of it."

"Oh, poor Cullen. I hope Meredith didn't punish him."

"She suspected Hawke had something to do with his escape, but couldn't prove anything. It's been a pretty big thorn in her side," Anders said with a grin. "Not to mention that Hawke and some of his friends are all mages in the city, not under her control."

"It makes more sense now," Cat mused, and the two men looked at her.

"What does?" Anders asked.

"Well, I told you that Meredith had me banned from the Gallows," she said, and Anders nodded. "But I ran into her today, and asked her why. She said something about my influence on Cullen, but it seemed flimsy. Perhaps this is what she meant, getting information from him."

"Perhaps," Anders agreed, though he didn't look convinced. "Though knowing her, she could just be doing it to get back at Hawke. She really wants to get him out of her way. I think he is the only thing keeping her from taking over the whole city."

Cat nodded, telling them of what happened in the square earlier, and how Orsino had tried to get Hawke on his side. Then, she told them of Meredith's threat on her mage friends.

Anders was incensed, and Adrius shook his head sadly. "Meredith is becoming almost unrecognizable," he said. "I don't understand what could have possibly happened to get her to this point."

"She was different?" Cat asked, wondering how much the red lyrium was actually affecting her.

"Yes, and no," Adrius said sadly. "Always stern, always giving harsh punishments for every small infraction. But this threatening? Not her style. Making others tranquil without even a sham of a trial? She has become even more paranoid it seems."

"One way or another, she is bringing a war," Cat said, seeing the speculative look Anders was giving her. "The mages will not lie down and die, and Hawke will not let her take the city. I am not certain what will happen, but I won't stand back and let her hurt my friends."

"Fighting isn't always the solution," Adrius warned, looking in concern at Anders, and back at Cat.

"No, but sometimes you must stand up for what is right," Cat replied. "I will not bring the fight, but I will stand up, no matter the cost to myself."

"I fear what will happen," Adruis commented quietly.

"I'm sorry to cause you worry Adrius," Cat said genuinely, and he looked up at her with concern.

"These times it seems it is all I do," he replied with a smile to let her know it wasn't on her.

"I'd better get going," Cat said as she stood. "I told Hawke I would go to the Hanged Man for dinner, and I will probably already be late."

"Anders, you should go too," Adrius said.

"I should?" Anders asked with a smile. "And why is that?"

"Beautiful women should always have a handsome man around, lest others try their luck," Adrius said with a wink. "But also to spend time with your friends. Go on now," he shooed them out. "Have a good time."

"I guess that means I'll accompany you, that is if you don't mind?" Anders asked Cat, as he went to fetch his coat.

"I suppose I could allow it this once," she teased. She moved over to Adrius, giving him another small hug. "It was so good to see you, and I hope to speak with you again sometime."

"You know where I am," he said with a smile. "I try not to show myself outside much, since I am supposed to be dead or escaped."

She grinned at him, and headed out the door, followed by Anders. He looked determined, and she wondered if he would want to talk about plans for the future on the way.

"This is very disconcerting," Hawke said after he had heard the whole story. "And no one knows who is accusing Aveline of these things?" he asked. The crew was in Varric's room for privacy, and listening to the Knight Captain.

"No, though we have found that they are originating in Darktown, but that's all we could find. We have even gone there, but found nothing," Cullen replied, looking at the drink in front of him in uncertainty. He had no idea what they had ordered for him.

"And all this nonsense about her being Ferelden," Hawke groused. "Aveline is the best thing to happen to the guard!"

Cullen looked uncomfortable, but he did agree. Being from Ferelden himself, he knew first hand that some Marchers looked down on his ability to lead for that fact alone. But he also knew it meant nothing, it just had to be ignored.

"I am simply giving the guard captain the information I have," Cullen said, putting the cup back down in front of him without drinking. "I wish I could do more, because I happen to agree- her leadership has been above reproach. But it is not up to me."

Deciding it was time that he took his leave, Cullen stood. "I will pass along any information that I receive," he said, giving the group a nod. Somehow he had found himself, not only with Hawke, but with his entire crew sitting in a room in the Hanged Man. It was a little disconcerting to say the least.

He turned, glad that no one was stopping him, and he stopped short at hearing the door open and his name. Looking over he saw the pair entering the dwarf's room.

"Cat?!" he said quietly, dumbstruck.

Cat stopped in front of him, the look on his face concerning her. "Cullen?" she asked, surprised as he lunged forward and grabbed her in a fierce hug that melted her heart. "I'm so happy to see you!" she said. "I've been to the Gallows, but seems that I keep missing you," she said tactfully, not wanting to get into why she hadn't been let in.

"I had no idea what happened, you were just suddenly gone," he said quietly in her ear, still not letting her go. "I thought perhaps those assassins had succeeded and I would never see you again."

"Wait, what?!" Cat said, looking over at her friends with a glare. "No one told you?" she asked, noting that they all looked sheepish, except for Hawke who looked like he was angry.

"It's not like he asked," Hawke argued.

Cat pushed out of the embrace, smiling at Cullen. "You can stay for dinner, right?" she asked, and he nodded without thinking about it. "Good," she said looking at the table, seeing where he had been sitting. "Looks like you were already here?" she asked in surprise.

"Yes, we were discussing some complaints about the guard captain," he answered, and she waved it away.

"I won't make you all repeat everything for me, I'll get the story from Hawke later," she said, motioning for him to sit, even as she pushed Sebastian over to make room for her to sit next to him.

Hawke noted the difference in the Knight Captain, how he easily sat down again, looking almost like a different man, relaxed and confident when he was around Cat. He told himself to just eat, and observe, that was all. But he felt the tightening in his chest as he watched how the man reacted to her.

How she could be so oblivious was beyond him, but if nothing else, he would get the ammunition he needed to finally convince her that the Knight Captain did not see their relationship the same way that she did.

Cullen asked about her hair, and Cat laughed and flushed slightly. "Not my finest moment," she answered. "But after the Crows followed us to the mountains of Chateu Haine, I knew the only way to protect my friends was to disappear. Leliana was there, and offered to sneak me out. I thought cutting my hair would help with the disguise, though Fenris cut it much shorter than I planned."

"Ah, so a spur of the moment decision," Cullen answered.

"Yes, exactly. I had a good cry over it much later. I had been growing it out for so many years…" she lamented.

Hawke glanced around, noting that the two of them were conversing as if they were the only ones there, the rest of the crew simply listening in.

"So where have you been then?" Cullen asked, even as the door opened, and bowls of stew were brought to the table. He looked down at it, and shrugging to himself dug in. It was no worse than the food at the Gallows.

"In Ferelden," she answered. "With the Grey Wardens."

"I should have guessed," he answered, surprising those around him. "How is the Commander?" he asked.

"Duran?" Cat asked, and Cullen nodded. "He's very good. I can't say much about the other wardens, but he is looking for a way to cure the taint."

"What?!" Anders said, dropping his spoon. "Are you serious?"

"Looking, Anders… not finding," Cat replied. "He seems to think that if there was a cure, there would be many more people who would join the wardens, like being a soldier in an army, and then moving on after the blight."

"That… would likely change the course of the blights if he were to find such a thing," Cullen answered. "I wish him luck."

The conversation continued on the topic for a few minutes, but Hawke was silent. He couldn't understand how Cat… the woman who kept secrets, the woman who was a constant mystery… was suddenly so open, and to…him.

He thought perhaps it was simple after all, and he needed only to ask as Cullen had. Or perhaps, she was only this way to Cullen.

One way to find out.

"So, Cat…" he started, the conversation stopping as they all turned to him. "It seems that you and the Knight Captain go back some years. How did you two meet?" he asked.

She glanced at Hawke, wondering what his angle was, but all she saw was genuine curiosity, so she looked at Cullen for permission. He looked concerned, but eventually nodded.

"Long story short?" she asked. "Cullen was a part of the circle in Ferelden, and I was traveling with Duran, uh, the Hero of Ferelden and his group at the time. They were heading to the circle to ask for help, because the Arl of Redcliff's son was possessed, and they wanted the mages' help to get rid of the demon."

"Didn't you say something about the circle falling?" Varric asked shrewdly, and Cat could see Cullen's hands ball into fists.

"Yes, that's true," she agreed. "Duran and his group went into the tower, destroying all the demons and blood mages. Cullen was one of the survivors," she said simply.

"Hmph!" Cullen burst out under his breath. "I had been imprisoned and tortured by the mages," he continued more quietly. "For how long, I had no idea. Then I heard singing."

"Singing?" someone asked.

"It was like the Maker's light descending on my mind, and it was the only solace I had. Eventually the cage holding me was lifted, and I looked up to see Cat."

Hawke felt that perhaps he was finally understanding. The look that the Knight Captain was giving Cat could be thought of as love, but with this new information, a new word came to his mind. Adoration… he thought. The man absolutely adored her.

It reminded him of when he first got Hafter. He had rescued him as a puppy from a salesman that was traveling through the town they had been living in. In fact, his father was adamant that they needed to move on, and soon.

Knowing they were leaving, Hawke had seen no repercussions in sneaking the unhappy puppy a few scraps of food, for he looked malnourished. The puppy followed him home after that, without a backwards glance at his master, and Hawke didn't see it as a problem. He took the puppy home, giving it a bath, and picking the fleas from it's dirty fur.

It had been a horrible time, and painful for Hafter, but afterward? Hafter had looked at him with such adoration that he knew the dog was his from that point on.

He didn't really compare Cullen with a puppy, but he could understand now. Cullen would always be loyal to Cat, no matter what. He would be whatever Cat needed or wanted him to be.

Hawke had no doubt that if Cat were to turn to Cullen and ask him to marry her right then, he would agree without hesitation, and if she told him to stay away from her forever, he would agree all the same, though he wouldn't like it.

Hawke looked to Cat, seeing that she was still flushing at Cullen's teasing about her singing, and he wondered if she was aware. He thought she probably was, she was smart after all, and seemed to see through others. However, she was also so incredibly oblivious when it came to herself.

Then the thought came, that while Cullen would probably always be in love with Cat, he would never push her for more, he would only strive to give her what she wanted. He remembered the banquet, where Cullen had escorted Cat to him… then let her go.

Hawke felt something shift, through he couldn't have pinpointed it if asked. He thought he would always feel slightly jealous of the relationship they had, but he realized that it wasn't like the searing rage and pain as before.

He smiled, leaning back with his drink as he watched their antics.

Varric nudged Anders, gesturing over to Hawke. Anders looked at the happy expression on his face as he watched Cat interact with Cullen, and his mouth dropped open slightly.

"Now what?" Varric whispered.

"I have no idea," Anders answered.

At that moment, Cat declared that she needed to head home, and Cullen asked if he could see her there. She gave a nod, and the pair stood, giving farewells around the table. Hawke stood as well, announcing that they had a job in the morning, and would meet at his house.

Everyone moved to leave as well, the party breaking up. Cat and Cullen were the first out the door, followed by Hawke and Anders. Anders shook his head with a grumble.

"What was that?" Hawke asked.

"I'm staying with her, so why did she agree to let him take her home?" he grumbled.

"Ah… well, then," Hawke said, giving a flourishing bow. "Can I see you home Anders?" he asked.

"Are you making fun of me?" Anders demanded.

"Not at all my good man," Hawke replied. "I simply was thinking it would be smart to follow them."

"Well then, why didn't you just say so?" Anders said with a grin, and they took off.

Arriving at the mansion, Cullen gave Cat another hug. "I am so glad that you are back," he said.

"I am too," she replied patting his back, though she doubted he felt it through his armor. "Though, I have to warn you, it would be best not to mention me to Meredith."

He smiled at her ruefully. "I had come to that conclusion myself. I had heard nothing of you trying to visit me. I assumed she was the reason."

"She thinks I can influence you, or something," Cat said sadly. "I'm sorry to put you in that position."

"It is no trouble. She needs a captain that will not question her, and I suppose I have done that more than most. I will come to see you, though I do not know when I will manage it."

"All right," she agreed. "I'll be sure to let you know of any travel plans in the future," she said in jest.

"And remember, if the mages were to do something…" he cautioned, before she interrupted him.

"Remember the rules Cullen," she said sharply, and he looked chastised.

"Sorry Cat," he said softly. "No generalizations about mages."

"I know it is best to plan for the worst case scenario, and I do, but we still have to hope for the best, right?" she asked. "Each mage could be a malificar, yes, but they could be another mage like our Champion too, couldn't they?"

"Yes, of course you are right," Cullen answered, steeling himself against his negative thoughts. "I'll remember it."

"Goodnight Cullen," Cat said happily. "It was such a pleasure to see you."

"Goodnight Cat," he replied. "I assure you the pleasure was all mine."

She waved him off, and waited, knowing that they had been followed. She wasn't disappointed as Anders and Hawke walked up not long after Cullen was gone.

"The templar finally left?" Anders groused. "I thought he'd try to convince you to run away from us mages. Again."

"Come on now Anders," Hawke said with a smile and slap on his back. "Cat seems to be making quite the difference with him."

Cat smiled as they joined her on the porch. "Actually, I doubt I would make any difference at all, if you weren't the man you are."

"What do you mean?" Hawke asked, confused.

"Well, you're the Champion of the city because of your fight with the Arishok, but if you weren't the man you are, the mage that you are, Meredith would have been able to get rid of you long ago. You might gripe about watching over the city, but because you care so much, the people want it to be in your hands, and you are changing their views of mages."

She moved to the door, and opened it before turning back. "It would be easy to turn your back and say it isn't your problem, but that's not who you are. I'm proud to be a part of your crew, Hawke."

The two men looked at her in surprise, as she smiled. "And thank you, so much, for saving Adrius. It meant more to me than you could know."

With that, she stepped inside, leaving the pair behind her on the steps.