It took longer than she would have liked, but finally, Isabela was able to finagle herself and Fenris on either side of Hawke as they walked.

"So, Hawke…" she began and she could see his defenses rise like a wall around him, so she changed tactics. "Did Kitty bring back my favorite tunic and belt?" she asked. "And those boots, I had just broken them in, and have missed them terribly."

Hawke turned to glance at her, a smirk on his face. "I haven't a clue," he replied. "Though with how…interesting you looked in her dress, I am suddenly intrigued with the idea."

Isabela noted his relief, and she wondered what was going on with him. Hawke always struck her as straightforward, even to the point of blunt- something she appreciated about him. But now, he was avoiding talking about Cat- which to her, meant something was wrong.

She gave him a pointed look, and saw that he was flustered, though he was fighting to not show it.

Her lips curved upwards, knowing he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.

On the other hand, Fenris, while able to perceive that Hawke didn't want to speak about Cat, didn't care. "What has happened, Hawke?" he asked, albeit quietly. "Were you still angry with Cat, or is she the one that has said something regretful?"

Hawke sighed. "Nothing has happened," he replied. "No one said anything regretful, I am just simply trying to decide what I want to do."

"Like, whether to be romantic, or simply just pin her to the wall and have your way with her?" Isabela asked with a smile, enjoying the twin scowls she received from the men. "I would have bet that you two wouldn't surface for weeks once you found her, but it seems I don't know you as well as I thought I did."

"Oh, has nothing happened between the love birds then?" Zevran asked from further behind them, causing Hawke to spin around and give a disparaging look. "What?" the elf asked innocently. "I was not eavesdropping, you were all speaking too loudly."

"It isn't too loud when only elves can hear it," Hawke grumbled.

"We will all eventually find out, so it might be wise to simply share," Sebastian said with a small smile. "Cat isn't the only person we care for and want to see happy."

"And we'll understand if you can't be happy together, though we think you really could be," Merrill added happily.

"We are here for you, whatever you want to do," Aveline spoke up.

Hawke sighed again, so very tired of it all. He rubbed his forehead, and came to a stop, turning to face the group. "This is all I will say, and then I will ask that you all leave me and Cat to figure this out on our own."

The others were quiet, waiting for his explanation with anticipation.

"I'm trying to decide whether Cat would be better off without me," he announced. Then turning around again, he started walking again, ignoring the protests he heard. He called back over his shoulder, "let's go get her back."

Fenris trailed after him, his focus returning to the task at hand. The others managed a glance around at each other, before they too began following. Determination had their strides quickening, and before long, they were marching purposefully towards the coast.

Little did Hawke know, all those following him had already made up their minds about his difficult decision- and were determined to help him see it, though they knew it wouldn't be easy.

As Hawke neared the ruins, he kept his eyes and ears open. This situation was less than ideal, since he didn't know their numbers and they had a hostage. The only information he had was that the group consisted of templars and mages, and that Ser Thrask seemed to be leading them.

Hawke stopped suddenly, as a man turned the corner, coming towards him. He held his hand out, but the man stopped as soon as he saw the group in front of him. He looked at each of them suspiciously, but didn't draw his sword or shield.

"Champion…" he spoke in greeting, the caution evident in his voice. "Are you here to join them?" he asked.

"Who are you?" Hawke asked, crossing his arms to show that he wasn't readying his magic as a weapon.

"The name's Samson," the man replied. "I was once a templar, before the Knight Commander caught me smuggling letters in to a mageling from his family. Decided I was too soft on the robes, and kicked me out."

"That seems harsh," Sebastian commented.

"That is only the beginning," Anders grumbled.

"Thought these folks had the right idea, but…" Samson said, looking back to the ruins. "Doesn't feel right."

"Why not?" Hawke asked.

Samson shrugged, unwilling or unable to explain. "I'm going to let the Knight Captain figure this out, so you may want to clear out if you don't want to get caught up in it."

"Thanks for the warning, but we are here to stop this, not join it," Hawke answered. "Getting the Knight Captain would be wise however. Hopefully they will surrender peacefully."

"When does that ever happen?" Varric muttered to Aveline, who glanced down at him and shrugged.

Samson gave Hawke a speculative nod, and moved past the group without another word. Hawke said nothing, watching him leave until he was out of sight. He then turned to his friends.

"All right, are we all clear?" he asked. "Ranged fighters, stay behind the warriors, don't let any of them come close or leave the area, we need to keep the group contained. Since we don't know their numbers, and anyone can be hiding in the ruins, save your most destructive spells for those areas. Hopefully they will surrender, but we won't hold our breath on that."

He looked around, seeing them nod except for Zevran, and he eyed the elf, trying to understand his plan. He'll probably go straight for Cat… he thought. "Anders, you're on Cat," he decided on the spot. "Locate and get to her as quickly as you can. Zevran, you're his cover if he needs to heal her."

Hawke raised his eyebrow at the look of contemplation he received, but finally the elf nodded, though he didn't look pleased.

"Everyone, remember, these are people that are trying to depose the Knight Commander instead of just killing her, which means they probably aren't wanting to fight," Hawke concluded, then turned. Wishing he had Hafter, since the dog always gave him a sense of invincibility, he strode forward, into the ruins.

The first thing he saw, was a group of people standing in a circle, having what looked like a heated discussion. A shout of, "The Champion!" rang out, and everyone turned to watch as he moved forward. He could see dismay on most faces, and a wicked sort of glee on a few, which had him thinking Meredith must have had spies within their ranks.

Then he saw Cat, lying in an unnatural position, her body looking lifeless. He thought his heart froze in that beat, and without thought he pulled out his staff, and pointed it at the men and women in front of him.

"If she is hurt in any way, you're all dead."

Alain could see the disappointment on Ser Thrask's face, but since the templar had told them not too long before that it was likely the Champion would come for his woman, he knew that Thrask wasn't really surprised.

Alain couldn't blame the Champion however. All mages, whether apostate or in the circle knew that love was a fleeting thing. He saw it as a curse, and never wanted to be one to catch it. All those he knew that had had love, were either dead, mourning their love, or made tranquil. If there was one certain thing, it was that mages did not have happy endings.

He saw the rage bloom on the Champion's face as he spotted his mate, and he glanced to Grace, seeing her smile blossom into a grin. Ser Thrask moved forward quickly as the Champion threatened them all, hoping to ward off his attack.

"Champion, she is alive!" he yelled, hoping to get through to the man, even as he flung a fireball in warning behind the group. Templar shields were raised, and a mage moved to counter with a freeze spell, putting out the flames, though a few were singed.

"She isn't hurt, I swear it!" Thrask shouted, though he stepped back at the angry group moving forward. He could tell that they were waiting for the Champion's signal, and he turned to Grace. "Awaken her!" he ordered.

Grace looked from Thrask to Hawke, and back again. "Why?" she asked happily. "Things are exactly as they should be!"

Thrask looked shocked, and Alain felt guilty. He had felt he should have warned the man about Grace, but she had threatened him, and so he didn't. Now it looked as if the groups were going to kill each other, and on the whim of one person.

"What are you saying?!" Thrask demanded, but Grace ignored him. She strode closer to the Champion, who had stopped attacking, but looked ready to start again at any moment.

"You claimed Decimus needed to die, because of what he had done," she said, Hawke looking at her in confusion. "But here you are, killing for no reason at all."

"Who?" the Champion asked, and Alain wondered why Grace would think he would remember. He had been a job to the Champion, though to Grace he had been much more.

Her face contorted in pain, "The man I LOVED!" she screamed at him. "And you KILLED HIM!" She took a deep breath, seeming to calm herself. "And now, you will know my pain for yourself."

"Hawke!"

Everyone turned, and Alain was surprised to see an elf with daggers guarding a mage that was cradling an unconscious Cat. "I can't wake her, I think she's under a spell!"

Alain could see the relief and anger on the Champion's face, and watched as Thrask stepped forward again.

"Stand down Grace," Thrask ordered. "The Champion is not the enemy. We are here to stop Meredith."

"What do I care for Meredith?!" Grace sneered as she whirled to the templar. "I am here for one reason. To make the Champion suffer!"

"I will not allow it!" Thrask said, stepping up and grabbing her arm, and Alain knew he could not be silent this time.

"No, Ser Thrask, you are too close!" he warned quickly. The templar looked to him in question, and Grace struck. Thrask's eyes widened in surprise, before he crumpled to the ground.

"Blood mage!" a templar called from behind them, and weapons were readied on all sides of Grace.

"You were always a blood mage?!" Anders asked in surprised dismay. "We defended you!"

"Defended me?!" Grace sneered. "I watched you cut down my love for simply trying to fight back, so I did what I needed to survive! You set us loose, knowing we would be caught and imprisoned!"

"You did this out of some misguided sense of revenge?" Hawke asked, his voice icy calm, which had his friends looking to him in wariness. Usually he would blow up in anger, which meant he was far beyond angry.

"Misguided?!" Grace spat back at him. "You've enjoyed freedom while the mages around you suffer! You kill those that want the same freedom, and do the templars dirty work for them!"

"And you are the reason mages are feared and hated," Hawke snapped. "Thinking that you are entitled to your freedoms without giving anything in return!"

"You don't know anything!" Grace screamed, moving closer, the blood still flowing from her arm where she sliced herself to kill Thrask. "You are no better than me!"

"I know you let your emotions control you," Hawke said, "while I use my mind." He paused as Merrill used her paralyzing spell on the woman. Hawke then moved closer, seeing her eyes wheel as she tried and failed to move her body. "And we use our gifts to lessen the suffering of others, while you cause suffering simply because you can."

Hawke's eyebrow rose as the mage broke free of the spell, and he glanced back to Merrill, who gave him an embarrassed smile for not putting much mana behind the spell. He smiled back, grateful that the fight was all his. The others all waited for his move.

He adjusted his staff in his hands, moving forward, the woman's eyes widening, as she scuttled back to give herself room. She moved to slice herself again but a dark young man who looked vaguely familiar grabbed her arm.

"No Grace, this isn't right!" he said, though he was trembling with nerves.

"Let me go Alain, or you're next," Grace replied softly.

"You shouldn't do this!" he insisted.

Grace twirled her staff in her other hand, bringing the staff blade into the stomach of the young man. Hawke gave a shout as he noticed, but it happened so quickly that he was unable to stop it.

"I wanted to simply kill your friends and let you suffer," Grace said as she twirled her staff again, blood from the wound she inflicted on the man rising up with the moves of her staff. "But I find it would be more enjoyable to just kill you all."

Hawke cast quickly, putting his spell on the ground at Grace's feet. Before she finished, it detonated, hurtling her away where she crashed into a broken pillar and laid still.

Hawke moved over, using his foot to push her over onto her back, noting that she was breathing raggedly. He glanced down at her, and raised his own staff, the sharpened blade at the bottom positioned above her chest.

"You won't hurt anyone, ever again," he said to her, and she closed her eyes in defeat. Hawke slammed his staff down, then pulled it back. He didn't look at the mage again, simply turned back to his friends.

He could see Anders kneeling next to the young man, and he hurried to join them. "How is he?" he asked Anders.

"He doesn't want me to try to heal him," Anders said in a worried tone.

"There's no time," Alain said to the pair above him. "I can feel my life slipping away," he wheezed. "I need to wake her," he added, and they looked at him in confusion.

"It's a spell then?" Anders asked, sitting back on his legs, no longer trying to heal the young man.

"Yes," he replied, his pain visible on his features. "With blood magic, and only blood magic will waken her. I can do it," he said, his determination coming through the pain.

Hawke nodded, and watched as the man put his hand to his own wound, giving a few short words. It was a strange feeling- sensing the man's last breath, even as Cat's eyes began to flutter open. He was profoundly grateful, feeling as if this young man had sacrificed himself for her, and at the same time, so tired of all the waste and death that surrounded him.

Cat was having trouble getting her eyes to open all the way. She felt sluggish, though not in tired sort of way, more like she did when ever she drank too much. Finally, finally, her eyelids obeyed her brain, and she focused on the blur in front of her.

Seeing Sebastian looking down at her in concern had her relaxing. Grace had obviously struck her with some sort of sleeping spell, and her friends were here. She began to sit up, and Sebastian moved quickly to help her. Her eyes searched for Hawke, and she saw him immediately, and began moving. He and Anders were looking down at someone, and her heart lurched as she wondered who was hurt.

"Anders…?" she said as she looked down over Hawke's shoulder. "Alain?!" she cried, seeing the young man, whose eyes were staring without seeing. "Oh no! What happened?" she mumbled, even as she fell to her own knees, her hands stretching out in the hopes that she was mistaken.

"Grace," Anders answered. "He tried to stop her from hurting you, he protected you," he said quietly, gently. "He woke you from her spell, when I couldn't."

Cat couldn't stop the tears. She hardly knew the younger mage, but he had been kind to her. Why would people she hardly knew protect her at the cost of their own lives? she thought miserably.

Feeling arms come around her, holding her, and hearing Hawke say, "Let it out, Cat," broke the dam that she didn't even know she was trying to hold. She gave a loud cry and sobbed against him. She could hear the sounds of others moving around, of people walking away from them, but she paid them no heed. She simply let her heart empty, crying into Hawke's chest until her tears were spent.

Even once she was done, she could feel his hand stroking her hair, hear his soft words of comfort. The love she felt soothed the cracks in her heart- though they still remained- and she felt the sharp pain ease into sorrow.

"Thank you," she murmured, not wanting to move, but knowing she should. She pulled back, and his arms released her. She looked up into his face, and gave a smile, though it was small. She looked down at Alain, noting that his eyes had been closed, and he looked almost peaceful now. "He spoke to me, he was kind," she said quietly. "I don't know that I deserved what he did for me," she added.

"It was his choice, whether or not you did," Hawke answered softly, and she looked back to him. "He knew he was dying, and he used the last of his energy to wake you… with blood magic."

She nodded, expecting as much, though she didn't understand why he was dead. He wasn't supposed to die! she yelled to herself. Is my presence going to continue to kill innocent bystanders? How can I possibly live with that?!

Feeling helpless and miserable, she looked up again to Hawke. Her eyes moved upward, as she noticed the others around them, and her thoughts scattered as she saw someone she thought she may not ever see again.

"ZEV?!"

Hawke was conflicted, truly. He wanted to reprimand Cat for her actions, he wanted to praise and thank her for protecting his mother, and he wanted to shake her for being taken and held so easily.

Then she looked up at him with tears still clinging to her lashes, and he felt nothing but the desire to have the ability to make all her pain go away.

An unexpected feeling arose then, as she cried the elf's name, and pushed away from him at a run. He turned, seeing her fly into his arms, holding on as if she would never let go… and the sly smile the elf sent his way.

He turned away from the scene, gathering himself, and rising, looking toward the men and women still huddled in the ruins, looking uneasy at him. He needed to deal with this first, not whatever may be happening behind him.

Hearing Cat squealing Fenris and Isabela's names made him feel a bit better, and he reminded himself that it was probably for the best after all. What could he offer, but more death, more pain? Such was his life after all, dealing with those that reveled in such things.

She didn't need him, not really. She had friends, here and in Ferelden. She had family, Maker only knew where. She would be all right, and they could still be friends, still work together, like any of his crew. And if she so chose, she could go anywhere, and be happy.

The though made sense, but instead of making him feel better, it churned in his gut. He tried to push it away, but images of those friends- Alistair, Nathaniel… Zevran. Yes, they would make her happy. She could have a real life with one of them, right?

He could practically see it. She would be tended to in anything she needed. Alistair and Nathaniel would get her anything her heart desired. Zevran would kill anything that tried to harm her, hell, anything that looked at her wrong. And any of them would probably sing praises to Andraste if she were to let them into her bed.

Now that that thought had reared its ugly head, he glared around at his companions, knowing that those three weren't the only ones. I know all too well how inexperienced she is, but once she knew the pleasure of sex? I'm sure they all would gladly show her, Fenris or even Anders, no matter what he had said. They loved her, they would do anything to make her happy.

Hawke had no idea how the growing pain and anger on his face was affecting his prisoners. He faced them, and they expected to hear terms of their surrender, yet now they could only wonder what horrors he was devising to unleash upon them. Most were glad to hear the sound of a group coming, even if it meant being brought back to the Knight Commander.

Hawke turned, seeing the Knight Captain leading templars towards him. He was almost glad for the reprieve from his thoughts, until he heard Cat say his name and move toward the templar. He snarled, and moved towards them, signaling his people to follow.

"Champion," Cullen said as he watched the man stomp towards him. "Are you involved in this?" he asked.

"Yes Captain," Hawke answered, his words dripping with sarcasm. "I thought, any group that kidnaps one of my people assuredly has a worthy cause!"

"So that's a no, then," Cullen muttered, with a roll of his eyes. I doubt I will ever understand this man, he thought.

"They came to get me," Cat said quietly, and Hawke saw Cullen's features soften as he looked to her in question. "They wanted leverage on Hawke in order to keep him from stopping them."

"They kidnapped you?" Cullen asked, glaring around behind the Hawke's crew in order to find the culprit, though most of them looked around guiltily.

"No, they tried to take his mother, so I went instead," Cat said quickly, hoping to stave off his anger, though it did exactly the opposite.

"So, what, you… volunteered?!" he snapped as he narrowed his eyes at her, and she hunched her shoulders.

"Sort of…" she said quietly.

"There was a blood mage that infiltrated the group, and used Cat to try to hurt Hawke," Aveline spoke up, and stepped forward. Cullen gave her a nod of respect, and she returned it, causing Hawke to narrow his own eyes at the exchange. He had never gotten such a gesture from the Knight Captain.

"This only proves Meredith right," he said quietly, but Cat heard him, and became heated.

"She couldn't have convinced them that she was on their side, if Meredith wasn't out of control," Cat argued. "Most of these people simply want the Knight Commander's focus back on the templar order and the well being of the mages, instead of the city."

"Regardless, that is no excuse for this," Cullen answered, looking to Hawke. "It seems the Order owes you again, Champion."

"Perhaps this will help ease the Knight Commanders' mistrust of me," Hawke snarked.

"Don't count on it," Cullen said with a slight smile, he turned back to Cat. "I am glad that you are unhurt."

Zevran chose that moment to step up to Cat's side, and grabbed ahold of her hand. "Perhaps this time, you should sing to her?" he suggested with a grin, causing Cullen to look at him in shock.

Hawke wasn't sure what was going on, but seeing both Cat and Cullen red-faced and flustered had his eyes narrowing again.

"Zev…" Cat groaned. "We talked about timing, remember?" she asked. "Can we go?" she asked as she turned to Hawke.

"Uh," Cullen cleared his throat. "Where is the blood mage?" he asked brusquely.

"Dead," Hawke answered, taking charge once again, telling himself firmly to sweep all the other emotional nonsense away. "But not before she killed two others. The rest are unharmed, and are now your responsibility."

With that, Hawke strode past the templar, wanting to leave the entire mess behind him. His head was pounding, his temper was up, and he knew he needed to get away and think before he blew.

Cat gave Cullen a helpless shrug and followed after Hawke, as the rest of his crew did the same. Several of them gave her shoulder a pat or a hand on her back, letting her know that they were glad she was with them once again.

"May I add that there is usually a good reason for mutiny," Isabela said as she passed the Knight Captain. "Perhaps the Knight Commander should think about why her people are unhappy enough to try to replace her."

Cullen sighed, watching as the group followed after their leader. Then turning, he looked at the scared and depressed faces before him. He knew exactly why these people were unhappy. But as his men moved to gather the dead, he shook his head slightly. Meredith's methods may not inspire happiness, but happiness didn't mean safety, and it didn't keep a blood mage from taking lives. Templars should know their duty.

Hawke sat on a rock, his head in his hands. He didn't know which was worse, seeing the way Zevran kept intimately touching Cat, or hearing the way she would laugh about it, and playfully swat his hands away.

The group had stopped at Fenris' insistence that they see for themselves if Cat was truly unharmed. He seemed to almost need to touch her- her arm, her shoulder- to prove that she was there. Hawke wondered how much he truly felt for her, and what would happen to Fenris if something serious were to befall her.

Anders cleared her, though he mentioned that she was still fragile, which put Cat's defenses up. Varric mentioned again the severity of her injuries after her brief squabble with the ogre, and how she wasn't supposed to even be involved in this job due to needing to recuperate.

Though the group moved on, Fenris and Zevran would often ask Cat if they could carry her, to which she vehemently refused. Isabela simply laughed, and announced that she would be happy to get Cat home and in bed.

Hawke had started to smile- since they all knew that such statements were made to make Cat smile more than anything, but then Zevran spoke up.

He took Cat's hand, which he had been holding, and raised it to his mouth to kiss it smoothly. "I would gladly help in that endeavor, though I fear she will not receive any rest were I to do so."

Hawke's smile stopped, and the sound of Cat's laugh seemed to grate on his nerves. Why wasn't she shutting him down, as she did to all others? he asked himself, even as he turned purposefully to face forward.

Cat turned, wanting to share a smile or a look with Hawke, only to see him fuming. Is he angry? she wondered.

The walk back to the city was the most fun Cat had had in quite some time. She could hardly believe that not only were Isabela and Fenris back, but Zevran had come along too.

She had a fleeting thought that if only the wardens and Leliana were there, all of the people she loved would be together again. Of course, then, she thought of Wynne, of Sten, of Oghren… even Morrigan, and she knew that that would never actually happen. She had to simply be grateful for what she had.

It was nearing early evening by the time they returned, and Aveline voiced how Leandra would worry until she saw Cat again, so the group moved towards the Hawke home.

Isabela however, pulled Zevran back motioning Fenris to continue once he glanced at them. She continued walking, though more slowly, and turned to glare at the elf.

"Why are you antagonizing Hawke?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at the innocent look on Zevran's face.

"Whatever do you mean my buxom beauty?" he asked.

"You know exactly what I mean, don't play coy," she answered, even as he gave her a nonchalant shrug.

"I am doing nothing to the Champion," Zevran answered. "I am merely flirting with a gorgeous and available woman. What is the crime in that?"

Isabela looked forward, ensuring that they weren't being overheard. "You know very well that Kitty is in love with Hawke," she replied. "Even if I hadn't told you myself, you have very keen eyes."

Zevran glanced back to her with a smirk, then looked ahead to the woman he would always consider his, though not in the way that others might. "My keen eyes tell me that my dove has gained no lover even after all this time," he said quietly. "Until then, she is available, is she not?"

Isabela found she couldn't exactly argue that, so she simply pinned him with a look. "Don't mess this up," she warned.

"My dear Isabela," he said even as he picked up his pace. "Your faith in me is astounding."

They didn't speak again, simply caught up as the group entered Hawke's house. They remained quiet and unobtrusive as Leandra and Hafter fussed over Cat. She was a little embarrassed, but mainly pleased to have others love her enough to fuss over her.

Not too long after, Varric suggested that they celebrate at the Hanged Man, now that they were all back together. Hawke agreed, needing not only a drink , or several drinks actually, but not wanting to speak about Cat with his mother again. Not until he set his mind straight anyway.

"Let's give it a couple hours," Hawke suggested. "Time to clean up and eat first."

The others agreed, and giving farewells, headed out. Hawke stood at the doorstep, watching them go, thanking them for their work. He frowned as Isabela went with Merrill and Varric, leaving Cat with only Fenris and Zevran.

"You have absolutely no idea how happy I am to see you both!" Cat exclaimed. "I had no idea that you would be coming to Kirkwall," she said to Zevran.

"It seemed the thing to do," he commented with a smile. "Besides, it is not everyday that I can travel in such handsome company."

Cat smirked at Fenris as he coughed. "Zev been giving you lots of attention, has he?" she teased him.

"Apparently," he replied drolly.

"Can you blame me?" Zevran asked them, throwing his arms wide.

"Not even a little bit," Cat said with a chuckle. "Sorry Fenris, but you are very handsome. Getting hit on is the price you have to bear."

"Hit on?" both of them questioned.

"Oh, sorry, it means what you would think. Flirting with the intention for more," she explained. "I'm not exactly sure how that even became the way to say it."

The elves looked at each other before shaking their heads at her. "So she did this a lot before as well?" Fenris asked.

"All the time, especially at first," Zevran replied. "But she has gotten better as time goes on." He turned to Cat. "I see you have told others of your past."

She nodded. "Fenris was most persistent," she explained with a smile, "but believed me right away. Isabela suspects, but pretends she knows nothing."

He laughed aloud at that. "Sounds exactly like her," he commented.

"And Anders knows as well, though it took time for him to believe it," she added, and Fenris snorted.

"Why is that?" Zevran asked curious at both the news, and the other man's reaction.

"Well, I approached it differently," she explained. "Coming from a magical perspective… I wanted to know if it were possible for someone to use magic to bring me here."

Both of them seemed surprised at that. "You are trying to find out how you got here?" Zevran asked.

Cat nodded. "I was trying to see if it were possible. There can't be that many ways to explain it after all, and I can't remember any of it either. And of course, Flemeth seemed to know me when we met."

"Flemeth?!" Zevran said, shocked. "Morrigan's mother?"

"The same," Cat replied. "She actually saved Hawke and his family from the Blight. In turn, he brought a locket here to Kirkwall that turned out to have a piece of her inside it."

"So even if we had gone to kill her…"

"She'd still be alive," Cat finished.

"Definitely a very powerful witch," Fenris commented, taking all their words in, seeming to understand what they were saying.

"Leliana has shared some of the things that you have been mixed up in," Zevran said after a moment. "I am beginning to think that sending you with Isabela did little to keep you safe."

Cat returned his smile, "I hate to think of never meeting Fenris or Hawke or the others," she replied. "Though I am beginning to wonder how many people would be better off if I had not come."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Fenris asked, as he stopped suddenly and pulled her around to face him. His face was angry, and she knew she upset him.

"Alain, for one," she replied quietly. "He wasn't supposed to be killed, yet now he is dead, because I was here."

"That isn't your fault Cat," he replied roughly. "I know you try to shoulder the blame for these things, but it isn't your fault."

"Anders was trying to heal him, he is the one that chose not to let him," Zevran added. "You were unconscious, hardly to blame for the actions of the woman."

"I know that, but I can't help but see that the only difference between what I know and what happened, is me!" she answered them, moving to walk again, not wanting to create a scene, or garner attention.

"And conversely, who would be dead now if you weren't here?" Fenris demanded.

"Saving one person doesn't excuse the death of another," Cat argued mulishly.

"No, no it doesn't. But it is evidence that you are trying to do right with the information you have. You are accountable for your own actions, not those of others," Fenris replied.

"I promise it makes sense in my head, but my heart just can't seem to agree," Cat said.

"Your heart has always tried too hard," Zevran said with a grin. "It does not understand the meaning of giving up, of failure."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked defensively.

"It means, my little dove," he answered, even as he took her hand and held it with his own as they walked. "That you refuse to accept anything but the best outcome. And when tragedy does strike, when something is out of your control, you cannot help but see it as a failure on your part."

"Exactly," Fenris agreed.

"You think so?" she asked.

"Yes dearest," Zevran said, looking out at the buildings around them. "I wouldn't say this is something you need to change, as it makes you who you are- caring for everyone around you. However, you cannot blame yourself when something is beyond your power."

"I… guess I can understand that," Cat replied. "I'll try."

"That is all we can ask," Fenris said, giving her a small smile, proud of her courage to make herself better.

"So," she said, changing the subject. "You just got back yesterday?" she asked.

"Indeed," Fenris replied. "Hawke was told where you would be in the later morning, so we had to wait to go find you. Lying in wait could have meant that you would not have been brought there at all."

"I'm sure that was difficult," she replied with a grin. "I wouldn't say the lot of you are the most patient of people. Hawke especially."

"We spent most of the time catching each other up on our various endeavors," Zevran said with a smirk. "They were most interested to hear of the death of the guild master that devised and ordered your kidnapping."

"I'm just glad that is over with," she replied. "As much as I enjoyed spending time with the Wardens, I missed being here."

"Here? Or Hawke?" Fenris asked, giving Cat a pause, to look at him speculatively.

"Both," she replied easily.

"I see," Zevran said with a nod. "It seems the Champion and I must have a talk?" he asked, and Cat glared at him.

"You need do no such thing," she hissed at him.

"I am your guardian, I have sworn to protect you," he replied with a grin.

"From the Blight," she reminded him.

"From anything that could hurt you," he corrected, even as Fenris watched on in amusement.

"Hawke won't hurt me," she said firmly.

"Oh no?" he asked, causing her to look back at him warily. "I think he is actually one of few that can truly hurt you."

"And if so," she replied evenly, "it is something I am able to take care of."

He raised an eyebrow, but nodded, willing to concede the argument, though he was in no way relinquishing his right to speak to the man. Whether she wanted him to, or not.

"How long are you staying?" she asked him, and Zevran shrugged. "Hawke has a few jobs lined up that seemed interesting," he replied.

"And the real reason you're staying for now?" she asked, seeing right through him.

He smiled his most cunning smile. "I want to be sure that no more Crows come after you," he replied.

She gave a nod, then thinking a moment asked, "What jobs?"

Cat paced the floor, worrying herself into a frenzy. Hearing about how the Knight Commander wanted Hawke to find some escaped mages had her smiling as she thought of Emile DeLauncet, and his idea of escaping in order to get lucky.

Then she remembered that one of the mages was Nyssa's husband, and she practically went running for the alienage. Fenris and Zevran stopped her, getting the information as she babbled it, and they sent her home, promising that they would save her friends from being harmed.

Now she paced her floor, waiting for them to return, but she knew she wouldn't stay there much longer. She knew they would be furious if she went after them, so she decided to head to the Hanged Man. At least she could be worried with her friends, and not sitting there alone in her home, picturing all the awful things that could happen to Serine and Nyssa.

So decided, she got up, took a few minutes to clean herself up, changed her clothes and armed herself, and left.

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful happy vacation wishes, it was great! But i definitely missed my story, and am so happy to be back and writing! SO many good things are coming up, hee hee!