Seasons of Love

by Forever without him

When Alison DiLaurentis is thrust into a world of choices between obligation & loyalty she makes an impossible decision. After spending three years without Emily Fields, she sets out to prove to the brunette that she's worth loving. As looming threats from their past emerge and an unexpected tragedy unfolds, they learn to lean on one another. Canon-Divergent. Rating may change.

10. Red October

A/N: Fair warning, this chapter is going poke at your feelings, make you feel safe, and then sucker-punch you all at once. I am certain pitchforks will be out and abound. Also has some slightly triggering things.

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Chapter 9:

Red October

"The voicemail of the caller you are trying to reach is full." An automated voice taunted her.

Alison growled and angrily hit the "end call" button before pulling up her texts.

Jason, call me. It's important.

She hit "send" more aggressively than she needed to.

She'd desperately been trying to get in touch with her brother after they found out that the calls harassing her were coming from Rosewood. She hadn't heard back from him. Toby hadn't seen him, and apparently Jason hadn't come to the door when Toby went to check for Emily...which could be explained by the fact that they didn't like each other.

They had tried local cops, calling in a wellness check. The police were as useless as ever.

No one came to the door, but nothing looked out of place. According to Rosewood's non-finest they had followed up with Jason's place of work and his boss said he'd been in touch.

But Alison didn't trust that.

The real reason the Rosewood police wouldn't look into it further was because they knew about her past, and they knew she and Jason were feuding. They had no interest in family drama.

They hadn't been helpful about the unknown calls either. Since Alison didn't have any solid proof that it was Charlotte they wouldn't do a damn thing. Neither would the cops in Malibu.

Alison had tried to appeal to the people on the board at Welby, begging someone to toss Charlotte's room. She was hiding a phone somewhere. Alison could feel it every time she got an unwanted call. The sensation was unmistakable.

Alison stared at her brother's number in irritation.

"Where are you?" Alison muttered at him from thousands of miles away.

She composed another text.

Just give me TWO minutes. I just want to make sure you're not dead.

She paused after she sent the message and then added,

If you're not dead I'm going to kill you. You're still my brother and no matter how much you hate me...I'm still your sister.

Then a third text,

You're an asshole for ignoring me. I'm worried.

"Still nothing?" Emily opened the bathroom door.

She walked over to the bed and moved the quilt down and slid on top of the sheets next to Alison.

Alison slammed her phone face down against the mattress. She rolled towards Emily and propped herself up on her elbow.

"No." Alison glared at the back of her phone, but she was distracted by the aroma of coconut oil. It was Emily's go-to moisturizer. It immediately calmed her down. "You smell good." She nuzzled closer to the brunette.

They treasured their nights together. Half the time they couldn't keep their hands off of each other…making up for lost time. But even the nights they didn't have sex were magical. Talking about their hopes and dreams and what they wanted for their future while snuggling brought a more intimate balance into their relationship.

"I smell like seaweed and sand." In an adorable fashion, Emily lifted her arm and sniffed it.

All her little Emily-isms made Alison love her even more.

She leaned towards Emily and their lips met, gently at first. But then it became more commanding. Alison gripped her cheek.

"You taste like the beach." Alison murmured against her lips.

Emily's mouth twisted into a soft, yet confused, smile.

"I do?"

"Mmmhmm." Alison went in for another soft kiss, whispering into it, "I love the beach."

"Well…" Emily's fingers trailed against the side of Alison's neck. She tilted her head and blew a breath against the soft fleshy part of Alison's ear as she whispered, "The beach loves you, too."

Emily leaned her forehead against Alison's and smiled at her.

"Hi." It was so simply sweet and so simply Emily that all Alison could do was smile back and reply in the same manner.

"Hi."

"How was it on set today?" Emily asked.

"Loooong." Alison fought back a yawn. "How was school and work?"

"Also long." Emily chuckled. "I don't know when teachers and corporate America expect me to find time to sleep. Especially with a very tempting Goddess in my bed."

She squeezed Alison's thigh. Alison let out a seductive wink.

"Right. I'm the temptress. You and your perfectly tan body glistening from a day in the sun and your slick wet mermaid hair have nothing to do with it." Alison reached up brushed a strand of Emily's hair behind her ear.

"You always start it." Emily teased.

"I do not…" Alison licked her bottom lip, and Emily's eyes followed the movement.

"You're doing it right now!" Emily pointed to her lips.

"No. I'm not." Alison feigned innocence, batting her eyes.

"Yes you are!" Emily laughed.

"This is just my face." Alison shrugged. "I'm not doing anything…" She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, tugging on it…fully aware that it was one of the things that turned Emily on. "Is it working?"

"Doesn't it always?" Emily shook her head like Alison was completely hopeless.

She cupped Alison's face and their lips met once more.

"Can't even talk about our days without you working your voodoo magic on me." Emily muttered, but she was still smiling.

"Talking is overrated." Alison shut her up with another kiss.

They couldn't help themselves when they got caught up in the passion. They kept waiting for the honeymoon phase of their relationship to come screeching to a halt, but it never happened.

Alison's phone buzzed and they both froze, looking at the device like it might explode.

"Is it…" Emily looked at Alison's phone as she picked it up.

"No." Alison read the text waiting for her. "Just my agent texting me next week's shooting schedule." She scrolled through her messages and smiled. "And Max thanking me for my offer to help him set up the bonfire tomorrow night."

The bonfire had been Max's idea. He'd wanted to throw a party for José's birthday. He had gone on and on about how compatible they were because José was a Libra and he was an Aquarius. Apparently they were meant to be lovers for life.

Young love.

Max wanted it to be a costume party, too, even though Halloween wasn't for another two weeks, because, as he'd said, "Mash-ups are totally in right now."

Alison couldn't even argue with him. Everyone on the set was constantly going to dual-themed parties.

"I've already picked out our costumes." Alison sent Max a quick response and then put her phone down again.

"Our costumes?" Emily raised a curious brow.

"Yeah, it's a mash-up Birthday-Halloween thing, remember?" Alison tapped Emily's temple lightly.

"Oh, I remember. But I don't remember signing on for a costume." She laughed. "What exactly are you plotting?"

"It's a surprise." Alison playfully lifted her brow, her eyes sparkling in the light.

"You really think we need any more surprises in our lives right now?" Emily poked Alison in the ribs.

"This is a good kind of surprise." Alison assured her.

"That'll be a nice change of pace." Emily nodded in approval. "Have you gotten any more hang-up calls?"

"Two today. I guess perhaps I can be hopeful that it's just someone trying to reach me about extending my car's warranty." Her mixed feelings were buried beneath her soft features, teetering between annoyed and amused. "Even though my car is back in Rosewood and it's not even in my name."

"How did that even happen?"

"My stupid vengeful father." Alison rolled her eyes. "He had his hand in everything in our lives. When I tried to sell the car so I could have a little extra money for the move out here he refused to sign the title over to me. So for all I care…the warranty can just expire and the car can explode. Hopefully with him in it." The poison in her tone was biting, but Emily understood where the hatred was coming from.

"That's…vivid." Emily snaked her arm around Alison. "But totally fair."

Alison reached up and put her hand on top of Emily's.

"You think your dad would be willing to adopt me?" she asked hopefully.

"We can ask when we see him at Thanksgiving." Emily laid her temple against Alison's. "Might make our relationship a little weird though. Dating my sister?"

"You know what I mean." Alison lifted her head and playfully slapped Emily's shoulder. "Like…in the future. If we ever…" She stopped before she got too ahead of herself.

They were taking their relationship one step at a time. Marriage wasn't something they'd discussed yet, though they both seemed to know that was where their relationship was eventually headed. It's not as if they'd just met. They'd known each other for years. They'd had a connection back in Rosewood. And they loved each other. Everything was going so smoothly for them.

"If we ever what?" Emily had a curious smile on her face.

"Never mind. I'm delusional and tired. Ignore me."

"Ignoring you is impossible." Emily chuckled. "You're literally a celebrity. And we share a bed, so…" She kissed Alison's temple. "But you do need to get your rest. So I'll do my best."

She weaseled her arm out from behind her, making Alison frown and protest like a cranky child.

Emily reached for her laptop and flipped it open. Alison closed the distance between them and watched as Emily typed in her credentials.

"Ohhh, are we browsing some kinky sites tonight?" She asked hopefully.

"I wish." Emily laughed. "I have a paper due before midnight, and I've barely even started it."

"The one on Physiology?" Alison asked. She had taken a special interest in Emily's studies. She didn't quite understand the complex sciences that Emily had to take, but she tried to support her because she knew it wasn't easy. "Can't you ask for an extension on that?"

Emily chewed on her bottom lip.

"This is the extension. The professor was super generous. She understands how hard it can be to work multiple jobs and go to school full time, too. She's always willing to help. So the last thing I want to do is piss her off."

Emily stared at the blinking cursor on her open word document. It looked like it was mocking her.

Stupid fucking cursor.

Alison caressed her arm.

"You've got this, Em."

"It's going to be a long night." She rubbed her eyes. She reached for the can of soda on the end table. "I've got an early morning, too. 7 AM shift at the Alliance Center and then an afternoon shift Lifeguarding."

"You work entirely too hard." Alison frowned.

"I work too hard? Didn't you spend thirteen hours on set today?"

"Yeah, but I spent most of that time sitting in the staging area away from the cameras. I even napped on a pile of costumes." She shrugged.

"That's hardly a substitute for real sleep, Alison." Emily cut her eyes at the blonde.

"What about you? You never sleep."

"I'll have you know that I sleep through most of my virtual classes. I just record them and go back to them later. That couch is my saving grace." Emily grinned at her.

"Stop making logical sense. I don't like it." Alison playfully pushed her lips out into a pout.

Emily leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the forehead.

"Goodnight."

Alison laughed and fell back against her perfectly fluffed pillow. She rolled over on to her side, her hands propped up underneath her cheek as she watched Emily get to work.

She tried not to distract her since she was on a time crunch. To Emily's credit, once she pulled up her research and started typing she was laser-focused.

Alison stayed up with her for a while, but the soft rhythmic sounds of Emily's fingers hitting the keyboard finally lulled her into a light sleep.

The bed was so warm and cozy. It seemed like everywhere Alison went in California was warm and cozy, especially when Emily was with her.

She had been accepted. She had been embraced. She'd never had that before.

But as happy as she was, she was still constantly looking over her shoulder and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Even so, she pressed forward. Not only for herself, but for the others around her. She had people who looked up to her because they wanted to. Not because they were forced to.

And she didn't want to let any of them down, least of all Max. He had been a cheery addition to her life. He was like a sweet puppy who just loved and wanted to be loved in return.

She knew the bonfire had to be epic, so she didn't mind helping them set everything up.

She barely even remembered the day by the time the night of the bonfire rolled around.

Max had hugged her and thanked her for everything, then reached for José's hand.

Max was dressed up as Castiel from Supernatural and José was sporting Dean Winchester threads. There ended up being a lot of couple's costumes, including the A League of Their Own costumes that Alison had picked out for her and Emily. The short skirts and short sleeves worked well for the muggy night.

Alison pulled out her phone and started documenting the epic costumes. The last thing she expected was to get overwhelmed by the crowd.

She was hanging out with Max and José and live-streaming when she lost sight of Emily.

Normally, they stayed pretty close in crowds. Alison had been anxious because of the phone calls she'd been getting, and Emily knew that. It wasn't like the brunette to wander off for too long.

When Alison ended her live-stream she started searching the crowd for Emily. She had only had one martini, but it was churning angrily in her stomach.

She asked around, but no one had seen Emily.

She really started to panic when a blonde darted through the crowd and disappeared into the night.

Alison quickly followed. She knew she was being crazy. She knew her sister was still in the mental hospital. But there was a tiny part of her that feared the worst. A small part of her thought Charlotte had a protégé.

The crowd thinned out as she raced along the beach, following footsteps that looked fresh. She scanned the beach and then the water, but no one was in sight. The Carson Shaw to her Greta Gill was nowhere.

Alison hit the speed dial on her phone as she swirled around, but Emily didn't pick up.

The dread set in five minutes later while she was still searching and the unknown caller lit up her phone in the darkness.

Her heartbeat was nearly in her throat when she picked up.

"Where is she, you bitch?"

A gust of air answered her, then another.

Some asshole breathing into the phone again.

"Did you do something to her?" She growled angrily.

The only response she got was a muffled cackle.

Then the line went dead.

Alison tried to call the number back, but it wouldn't go through.

She walked around the shore calling Emily's number for nearly twenty minutes.

On what had to be her twelfth call she heard the tinny jingling of a phone in the distance.

Without thinking, she raced towards the sound, expecting to find her girlfriend. Instead she found Emily's phone halfway buried in the sand.

She spun around searching for her.

"Em?" She called out.

She reached for the phone and stared at the contact picture…a photo of her and Emily mugging for the camera. A rare selfie.

For some reason, the image set her off.

She stood up ramrod straight and screamed Emily's name, listening to it echo in the distance.

She was poised to keep running down the beach, but she was stopped in her tracks when something sharp jabbed her in the neck.

She sucked in a gasp and fell to her knees.

The sea churned around in her vision. The martini was working its way back up, but she managed to fight back the vomit. Her entire body was tingling. She tried to stand up, but her body wasn't getting the signal to move from her brain.

A shadow appeared in front of her.

She wanted to look up. She wanted to stand up and fight. But she'd lost feeling in her neck, and it was rapidly spreading quickly to her limbs and the rest of her body.

She wavered and then fell face first into the sand.

"Love has made you weak, little sister."

The ground started to move underneath Alison, and she realized that she was being dragged. Sand bit at her eyes and skin. It clogged her nose and mouth. She could barely breathe. She was suffocating. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't get air in her lungs to do so.

I'm having a nightmare.

But not being able to breathe was very real.

Her lungs were screaming at her, and she couldn't do anything about it.

It was like she was back under the dirt in Rosewood.

A sea of soil flooding her.

Screaming.

Not being heard.

Someone would see what was happening and stop it.

Wouldn't they?

No one had come to her aid the night Charlotte had bashed her head in with a rock.

In fact, the one person who did see it buried her alive.

Her own mother.

If her mother wouldn't rescue her, why would anyone else?

The movement stopped and she was flipped over on to her back.

Stars were bursting in her field of vision. She sucked in air, her lungs grateful for the reprieve.

But then her anger and terror came rushing back to her.

She felt herself being slightly lifted off of the ground and then dropped.

She fell nearly six feet.

The landing didn't hurt as much as she thought it would. The packed sand wasn't pleasant to feel, but it was better than concrete or gravel.

We're still on the beach.

She heard ragged breathing beside her and her heart caught in her throat.

She could smell the faint aroma of cocoa butter.

Emily.

The hole they were in suddenly felt more narrow…and a hell of a lot more terrifying.

She closed her eyes.

She was back in a shallow grave back home.

Only this time…Charlotte was standing over her. And the older girl wasn't crying.

A clump of sand hit her belly. Then another hit her face.

My God, she's going to do this again.

Every time more sand was shoveled on top of her she flashed back to Rosewood, staring at her mother…pleading with her.

I'm alive!

We're alive!

Stop! Can't you see me breathing?

Can't you hear me screaming!

Dirt filled her lungs, but this time it wasn't dirt. It was sand.

A clump of sand knocked her hand over and her fingers brushed up against Emily's. She couldn't hear her breathing anymore. She had no idea if she was still alive. Her pinky curled against Emily's.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry that I brought her back into your life.

The weight of the sand was starting to feel too heavy against her body. She knew she was seconds from losing consciousness.

But then she felt movement.

Emily's fingers curling into hers, tugging.

My mermaid.

She hadn't given up hope.

Even though the darkness was closing in on them Emily still managed to pull her out of the deep recesses of her mind.

Suddenly, the weight was lifted and Emily was pulling her somewhere safe.

A bright light blinded her.

She couldn't see.

Then she opened her eyes.

"You okay?" Emily had moved the computer to the table next to her bed.

She had Alison wrapped up in her arms, like she could protect her from the entire world.

Alison squinted at the morning light assaulting her vision. She rubbed the balls of her hands against her eyes and groaned.

The sun seemed brighter than usual. Or maybe the darkness of being buried alive in her dream had darkened her life.

"I hate my sister." Alison croaked.

"Was that what the nightmare was about?" Emily's face was placid, but there was a hint of anger in her gaze.

"Yeah." Alison's face tightened in an emotion that Emily couldn't really register. "I want to punch her in her stupid face."

"You kept saying my name." The brunette looked at her sadly.

"She hurt you. And she made me watch." Alison looked at Emily's hands, softly holding her own. "This is what she does. She's invading every inch of my mind and I hate her for it. She doesn't even have to be here and she's torturing me."

"I know." Emily sighed.

"This is exactly what she did to you." Alison pressed her hand against her forehead in exasperation. "Torturing you all by making you watch each other struggling?"

"That was a big part of it, yeah." Emily's gaze was distant, like she was struggling to push it all away. "I never should have told you any of that."

All it had done was put a heavy burden of guilt on Alison's shoulders, even though it wasn't her fault.

Alison shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself.

Emily curled her body around Alison's.

"Every time I close my eyes I'm afraid I'm going to see her. And even when I'm awake I think she's around every corner. I'm tired of living my life in fear."

"I get it. I really do," Emily said softly.

"I almost hit a production assistant on set with a piece of plywood the other day. He looked at me like I was insane." Alison grimaced.

"Well, that's just being a woman in society. Always on high alert." Emily tried to make her feel better. "I threw my Organic Chemistry book at my TA after he tapped my shoulder once."

Alison couldn't help but smile. Emily had always been feisty. She had physically chased after A more than once in Rosewood.

"Are you still afraid of her?" Alison's eyes met Emily's earnest expression.

Emily took a moment to consider the question.

"Yes and no. I think…" She pursed her lips in thought, "I think that deep down that fear is still there. I've just learned not to let it dictate my life. She took so much from us. She doesn't get to have our futures, too."

"Profound." Alison wasn't the least bit surprised. Emily was still every bit of a philosopher as she once was.

"My father's words." Emily smiled.

"Remind me to thank him for those words." She glanced at the slats of light cutting through the room. She didn't feel like she'd been asleep for long. "I didn't keep you up last night, did I?"

"No. You didn't start kicking in agitation until about twenty minutes ago." Emily yawned. Though Alison hadn't kept her up, her homework certainly had. "I had to dodge some punches you were throwing, too. You were apparently giving your sister a smack down."

"She deserves to be knocked on her head a few times." Alison muttered angrily. "Did you finish your paper?"

"At exactly 11:59. Submitted it with seconds to spare."

"Good." Alison nodded in satisfaction. "I have you all to myself then." She moved closer to the brunette, which seemed like an impossibility because she was already smothering the space between them.

They laid in silence for several minutes, Emily lovingly caressing her arms. Alison relaxed into Emily's body. She put her hand on top of the brunette's and curled her fingers until they were intertwined with Emily's.

Emily's other hand landed on Alison's hip, where her nightshirt was riding up. She rubbed her palm against her silky smooth skin. Then she reached up and circled her index finger against the sensitive flesh behind her ear.

Alison was like malleable clay in Emily's hands. Warm putty turning to goo. Emily knew all of her erogenous zones.

Alison tilted her head up, realizing that she'd been so wrapped up in the nightmare that she hadn't given Emily her proper morning greeting.

She twisted towards Emily and pulled her in for a kiss.

She smiled against Emily's lips when the brunette ran her palm over her head to smooth down her messy morning hair.

"Morning." Alison mumbled into their kiss.

"Morning." Emily pulled back with a smile before leaning in to kiss her again, holding the embrace as they savored each other. "You want to grab some breakfast before we go?"

"Can't we just stay like this forever? I don't want to move." Alison tightened her grip.

"I know. But I have to." Emily didn't seem happy about getting up either.

"No, you don't. In fact, I won't allow it. You're not allowed to ever leave this bed again." She said in a tone that was aiming for forbidding, but she couldn't pull it off.

"You're bossy." Emily touched the tip of Alison's nose with her pointer finger.

"Don't hear you complaining about me being bossy when we play Mistress and Mistress at night." Alison walked her fingers down Emily's arm.

Emily's cheeks flooded with heat, her eyes darting away as a quiet laugh slipped out. It didn't matter how many times they flung their clothes off in the heat of passion. Alison still had an unnatural hold over her that flustered her sometimes.

"You're cute when you blush." Alison lifted two fingers towards Emily's chin and turned her head so Emily's eyes were forced to meet hers again.

"So not blushing." Emily scoffed.

"You totally are."

"Whatever." Emily shook her head, a lazy half-smile on her face. "We really do need to get up. I've got work and you said you were going to pick up José's birthday gift before the bonfire tonight. And we promised Max we'd help him get ready after my shift is over."

Alison tried not to think about her nightmare. She didn't want it coming true. She reached up and rubbed at her eyes again. She still hadn't adjusted to the morning light after the cold dark depths of her dream. But there were bright spots in her life. One was lying right next to her.

"Speaking of birthdays, you have one coming up next month…" Alison shifted the subject. "Anything special you have your eye on?"

"Yes." Emily looked directly into Alison's eyes. "You. So you don't have to shop."

"Ha, me not shop? Have you met me?"

"Please…don't make it a big thing." Emily's cheeks turned red and she shot Alison a bashful glance. "My mom and dad are already planning to go all out when we get together."

"Did they decide whether they want to come here or if we're going…back there?" The thought of going back to Rosewood while she was being harassed by some unknown caller was too much to handle.

"Both. They want to fly out here for a few days and then want us to go back with them so we can celebrate my birthday and Thanksgiving together back home. My mom is big on tradition. She needs her kitchen to make her feel whole during the holidays."

"Oh, trust me…I know that. I've seen your house during the holidays." Alison poked Emily, teasing her. "I didn't even know they made outdoor Thanksgiving decorations. I think the first place I saw a giant blow up cornucopia was in your front yard."

"God, they're so embarrassing on the holidays." Emily buried her face in her hands, her cheeks getting even hotter.

"I can't wait." Alison was beaming from ear to ear. "When is your dad getting back?"

"The second week of November." Emily sat up, slowly pulling away from Alison, earning a cranky grunt from her. "He sent me a video because I missed one of his video chats when I was in class the other day."

She grabbed her phone and started swiping. She pulled up the cloud, where the video had automatically saved after Emily watched it the first time. She pressed play and angled the phone so Alison could see the video.

"Hi, Em. Miss you kiddo. Just wanted to tell you I love you and I'm proud of you and that I'm lucky to be your dad."

Alison watched a smile tug at Emily's lips.

"I'll try and catch you next time. Your Ma says you're doing really well. Your calls and texts really mean a lot to her. You're a good child. You're my favorite child…" Then he laughed. "Even though you're my only child. I would choose you over all the other kids in the world. Tell Alison I said hello. I can't wait to see you both. Love you, baby."

The video cut off.

Alison smiled at the screen.

Her brother was ignoring her and her sister was a monster, but Emily's family accepted her…and somehow that was enough.

"He's such a good father." Alison beamed at her girlfriend. She was so lucky.

"He is." Emily smiled. "I can't wait to see him, but it's definitely going to be weird going back."

Emily put her phone back down.

"Yeah." Alison swallowed.

She'd been running from her past for months. The thought of being back in the same town as her sister sent a chill down her spine.

Emily didn't miss Alison's troubled expression.

"Hey…" Emily stroked Alison's arm. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine." Alison nodded. "Snuggling always helps."

"Yeah, it helps me, too." Emily's cheeks reddened again.

Alison smirked when she saw her blush again. She was often putty in Emily's hands, but Emily was just as soft for her.

Emily slowly climbed out of bed. Alison managed to follow her lead, but she wasn't happy about it.

"Hey, you want to hang with me at work today?" Emily asked. "I like having you around."

"You're just babying me because I had a bad dream." Alison's brows furrowed.

"I'm really not." The sincerity wasn't fake. "Samara and Zoe love it when you come to the LGBTQ Alliance with me. And after that we could pick up José's gift and then we can head down to the beach for my shift."

Alison thought about the sand covered beaches.

All she could think about was how much it burned filling up her lungs. She needed to get herself together before going to the bonfire.

"I'll come with you this morning." Alison loved volunteering. She liked giving back. "But after that I've got a few things I need to do."

In other words…no beach until the bonfire.

"Okay." Emily walked towards her closet. She paused in her stride and turned around to face Alison, scrutinizing her. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Alison nodded.

"Just need some coffee to calm my nerves."

And an anger management class so I don't fly to Rosewood and shoot my sister in the face.

"I can take care of that." Emily was still eyeing her in uncertainty. "Though coffee usually makes me more jumpy after a nightmare."

"Running is your outlet. Caffeine is mine." Alison shrugged.

Emily didn't question her. They dealt with their feelings in vastly different ways.

She slowly turned back around and pulled the bifold closet door open.

She was surprised to see two outfits she didn't recognize in the middle of the rack.

"It's our costumes for the bonfire." Alison stared at the matching baseball uniforms from A League of Their Own.

It almost felt like a bad omen to wear them now. That stupid nightmare had ruined everything.

But then she thought about Wayne Fields and his wise advice.

Charlotte be damned.

She wasn't going to let fear dictate her life. She wanted to wear the costume and she wanted to see Emily in hers. She wanted to have fun.

"I snuck them in there to surprise you." She caressed Emily's spine with two fingers, watching as the brunette shivered under her touch.

Emily turned around, a look of intrigue on her face.

"I'm Greta. You're Carson." Alison pointed to the numbers on the baseball uniforms.

Emily observed the costumes, reaching out to touch them. She ran her fingers over the fabric.

Alison was surprised that Emily wasn't pushing back against dressing up. It wasn't really her thing. The blonde had a feeling that Emily was doing it for Max's benefit. But maybe she was also doing it for Alison's benefit, too.

"I'm taller than you. I should be Greta." Emily poked Alison in the ribs.

Alison laughed.

"Nope. I'm the cocky one. You're the sweet one." Alison shook her head.

"Is that so?"

"I don't make the rules." Alison pinched her lips together, fighting back a smile.

"Then who does?"

"My fans." She held up her phone. "I did a secret poll to see who they thought I was most like."

"Well then…I guess the internet has spoken." Emily picked out the uniform with Carson's number on it and spun the hanger around to get a better look. Then she faced Alison. "I love you, but I'm not wearing a wig."

Alison let out a surprised laugh.

"No wig required." She reached up and threaded her hands through Emily's hair. "I prefer you au naturel."

"Yes, you've made that abundantly clear." Emily slipped her hand down towards Alison's hip. "In more ways than one."

"You know…there's still time for you to change your mind about staying in bed with me all day." Alison cast a glance at the unmade bed.

Emily wordlessly lifted her arms, placing her palms against Alison's cheeks. She cupped them and pulled her in for a gentle kiss.

Alison felt a rising hope that perhaps her seduction had worked. But then Emily pulled away with a smile on her face.

"I'll make you that coffee while you get ready." She dropped her hands and turned towards the door.

"Tease!" Alison called after her as she walked away.

Emily threw a glance over her shoulder, shooting Alison a smoldering look that almost had the blonde chasing after her to pounce on her. Sometimes Alison would run after her and leap on to her back.

Emily thought it might be one of those moments, but she made it all the way into the kitchen without hearing footsteps padding behind her.

She yawned and ran her fingers through her hair as she walked over to the counter.

Alison had bought a Keurig machine with a bunch of fancy brews, so Emily didn't have to do much to actually make coffee.

But it was the least she could do for her.

She knew that Alison was struggling with a ton of emotions. Emily was helping her as best as she knew how.

Charlotte had a way of crawling underneath people's skin. Even when she wasn't there she was a huge presence in the room.

Emily didn't notice she'd mindlessly been chewing on her cheek until she bit down too hard.

The familiar taste of copper filled her mouth.

She rushed to the fridge and slung the door open, grabbing a tumbler full of cold water. She gulped some down and then sucked some more into her mouth and swished it around.

She couldn't stand the taste of blood in her mouth.

It sent her careening back into the Dollhouse.

Sitting at the table with three wired switches in front of her.

Pictures of her friends taped to the table above the switches.

Mona hadn't been included. Their captor knew it would be too easy to break towards her. They wouldn't feel good about doing it, but they would make that horrible difficult choice.

She had chewed holes in her cheek.

Her mouth tasted like blood and snot.

She'd been told she had to choose.

That's all they did – make choices.

Who got to eat that day.

Who went without water.

Who got shock therapy.

That's why she was there at that table.

To be forced to hurt her friends.

She knew what the punishment was if she didn't choose.

Still, her guilt and terror were eating away at her.

"I can't! I can't…"

Tears were streaming down her face.

"CHOOSE!" An angry raspy voice yelled over the intercom.

Emily's eyes darted between the images of her friends.

She sobbed quietly and closed her eyes, her hand moving randomly to a switch.

She yanked it and let out another sob when screams permeated the air.

When she opened her eyes again she was in her condo, standing in the middle of her kitchen holding a warm mug of coffee that she didn't remember picking up.

She did that sometimes when autopilot set in. Continued her daily life while being lost in the past.

She was gripping the mug so tightly that she thought it was going to shatter in her hands.

She took a deep breath in through her nose and centered herself.

She was used to the flashbacks. She'd talked to a therapist in Rosewood about them, though she never specifically told the woman what the flashbacks were about.

She had also leaned on her dad for support for her PTSD. She never went into detail about what happened to her in captivity and he had never asked. He knew firsthand what it was like to experience PTSD.

After a few seconds the feeling of despair passed and she was focused on the present again. It was a coping mechanism she'd learned.

Being present.

What do you see?

What do you hear?

What can you smell?

She focused on the room around her. The sound of the shower running. The smell of coffee.

She walked over to the counter and put the coffee on the warmer.

Then she walked back to the bedroom to get changed. Alison had left the bathroom door cracked so she could feel the heat from the shower.

Emily glanced over and saw an outfit pressed and laid out on the bed. Alison had picked out a pretty little skirt that would no doubt drive Emily crazy all morning. She'd paired it with a red top.

Emily grabbed a pair of pants and a tie-dye tank top.

She heard the water cut off in the bathroom and a few seconds later Alison walked out with a towel wrapped around her body and another wrapped up on her head.

"There should be plenty of hot water left." Alison smiled when she saw Emily.

"Thanks. Coffee is on the warmer for you."

"Thanks." Alison reached up and adjusted the towel on her head.

One good thing about living together was that they had established a pretty familiar routine.

Emily hopped in the shower, quickly scrubbing up. She lathered her hair up and then washed it out.

By the time she was done Alison was dressed and blow-drying her hair.

Emily watched from the ajar bathroom door. Sometimes it was the little things that made her appreciate their lives together.

She quickly got dressed and then reached for her phone.

She had a few missed calls – mostly spam.

She also had missed texts in the group chat with the girls.

She skimmed over them and saw that Spencer was pretty much a shoo-in to graduate top of her class, with honors…so long as she kept up with her studies and her internship. It wasn't a surprise. Emily had always known Spencer would go on to do great things.

She sent a gif of minions dancing in celebration and then pulled up a text from Hanna in a thread where it was just the two of them.

Daily check in to make sure you two are still alive. And that The Bitch is still very much locked away in Welby.

Hanna had been conducting check-ins ever since she'd pried it out of Caleb about where the calls were coming from.

Emily shot back a quick,

Alive and well. Well…half alive. Still need coffee. Am zombie.

Despite what she'd told Alison, she hadn't really slept well. Not because Alison kept her up, but because some nights she battled a weird state been awake and asleep and she couldn't seem to do either one fully. She couldn't wake up. But she couldn't go to sleep.

She was looking forward to the day. She loved her job. The LGBTQ Alliance took a lot of her stress away. And it seemed to be working the same magic with Alison.

As long as you're undead and not dead-dead. Go refuel on the magical elixir before you start craving brains.

Working on it. You and Caleb okay? No creepy mystery calls or threats? Her eyes drifted to her closet.

She'd bought the gun before she left Rosewood. She hadn't had to use it in the three years she'd been in Malibu, other than going to the range to practice.

More than likely Charlotte was still locked away for everyone's safety, but she slept better knowing she had the pistol. She wasn't sure she'd ever be able to fire at any living thing, but she had peace of mind knowing she had the choice.

Her phone buzzed, Hanna's response,

None. All quiet here. There was a pause and then three little ellipses as she added. Do you think we should tell Aria, Spencer, and Mona about the calls?

I don't even like you knowing. As long as you all are off the radar I'd be more comfortable if we kept this between us. Besides, we don't know that it's Charlotte.

Don't we?

Hanna, everyone seems to be doing so well. I don't want to drag them back into this. I feel bad enough that I pulled you and Caleb into it.

We were happy to do it. And if you want to keep it between us that's fine. But the second the She-Bitch steps out of line I'm Assembling the Avengers.

Fair.

You get that coffee yet?

How can I? You keep texting me.

You should come out here. There is the best little café down the street.

NY seems like a long way for me to travel this morning in order to get coffee.

This coffee is worth it.

Get Spencer's endorsement first. Then I'll hop on the first flight out there.

A few minutes later her phone was ringing.

Hanna had requested a FaceTime.

"You're relentless." Emily answered, leaning the phone up against her small vanity so she could tie her hair back into a lazy ponytail.

Hanna was grinning back at her from a tiny room filled with her boss's latest designs.

"I got her endorsement." Hanna had a smarmy smile on her face. "Tell her, Spencer."

"I have no idea what's going on." Spencer's face came on screen. "She said something about the café down the street from her place having good coffee. It does. Though, I'm not really sure why that warrants a phone call." She looked thoroughly confused.

"Really, Hanna?" Emily quirked an eyebrow at her.

"When can I expect you to book your flight?" Hanna teased.

"You're going to New York?" When Aria came on screen her olive green eyes were dancing in delight.

"That's what this was about? Some kind of bet?" Spencer asked.

"What did you think it was about?" Hanna touched up her lipstick.

"I don't know. Something about you being right about something." Spencer laughed sheepishly.

"You really think that was my main motive?" Hanna flashed the camera a wink. "I just wanted to see all your faces. I miss them."

"Why didn't you just say that then?" Spencer asked.

"Is that Spencer?" Alison walked out of the bathroom, closing her make-up kit.

"Yeah."

"Hey, Alison." Aria popped on camera.

"Hey, Aria. Hey, Spence…congrats! Top of your class with honors." Alison walked up behind Emily and waved.

"Thanks. I still don't know if I'm going to get Valedictorian. My parents really want it for me, but I'm done with all the pressure." Spencer admitted.

"So just dress up as Valedictorian for Halloween. Everyone wins." Aria suggested.

"Somehow…I don't think that will go over as well on my application for graduate school." Spencer shook her head.

"I can't believe you and Emily want to sign up for more school." Hanna made a face. "Four years is enough for me." Hanna frowned. "I've got to work more on my portfolio."

"You doing any specialty Halloween costumes for runways?" Alison asked.

"A few, but I signed an NDA, and if I break it my boss will kill me. But one of them rhymes with Bree-ana."

"Shut up! No way!" Alison exclaimed. "Rihanna?! Sorry…I mean Bree-ana…" She snickered.

"You didn't hear anything from me." Hanna reached up and made a zipping motion across her lips.

"Does anyone have plans for Halloween?" Aria popped up on screen again.

"Em and I are going to a party for a friend's birthday. Costumes are mandatory, so I picked out a couple of costumes from A League of their Own." Alison put her make-up bag down on Emily's vanity with a smile. "I'm practically dragging her kicking and screaming."

She was careful not to get to affectionate with Emily on screen. She knew their friends probably suspected they were together. They were on the verge of telling them, but weren't 100% there yet. The girls had slowly been letting Alison back into their circle, which was a huge deal.

"That sounds fun. Liam and I are going to dress up as Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth."

"Oh…like from the Netflix series?" Hanna swooned.

"No…like from the actual book it's based on. Persuasion." Aria laughed. "We even got Argos a matching costume. We've got a book signing happening the night before Halloween and we got special permission to bring the dog, costume and all."

"That's really cool." Emily nodded.

"What about you, Spence?" Hanna asked.

"I'm going as a tired Senator's intern." Spencer managed a sarcastic smile. "I'm working. And I'm not going to walk into the chambers wearing a sexy cat outfit."

"Why not? It would get their attention. You'd have the floor all night long." Alison laughed.

"And just think...if they brought laser pointers. How would you be able to focus?" Hanna added with a grin.

"The press would go insane." Spencer hated the press, but it came with her job.

"You can't tell me that blazers and tweed jackets are actually comfortable." Hanna scoffed. "I'd dress up, but Caleb and I both have to work. We got Cheese a costume though."

There was a pause and then collective laughter.

"It was Caleb's idea. And the cat will let him do anything to him, so I figured why not? Could be cute photo material for Insta. I haven't posted in a long time."

"What kind of costume is it?" Emily looked at her curiously.

Hanna was not the type to dress up animals. People were her forte.

"A lion. He looks majestic with the mane. I'll have to send you pictures." Hanna started scrolling through her phone.

"So…you're dressing a cat up…as another cat?" Spencer asked.

"A majestic cat." Hanna corrected her with a frown. "I'm getting him in touch with his roots. He came from big bad-ass lions and I want him to know that. I think it makes him feel good about himself. He seems to like it."

Another laugh.

Emily's phone chimed and she heard the other girls' phones going off at the same time.

At first she clenched up, worried that Charlotte had somehow intercepted the call. But then she saw the text thread with the girls had a new photo. She opened it up, momentarily blocking the view of Facetime and looked at the picture of Cheese that Hanna had sent.

She and Alison admired Hanna's photography skills. Getting the cat to sit still and look like a giant beast of a lion couldn't have been easy. But the wily blonde was right. Cheese looked like he was on top of the world. He was holding his big blocky orange head up high. His body blended in with the mane. He looked like a miniature lion.

Emily closed the chat and the FaceTime popped back on screen.

"Okay, that's really cute." Spencer was the first to admit. "And I don't say that about just anything."

"I think hell just froze over." Hanna joked. "Are you sure you're Spencer and not her less-evil twin?"

"I can be nice, you know." Spencer frowned.

"I know. It's just not your normal setting." Hanna looked at her suspiciously, but then she started laughing.

Another text interrupted their conversation.

Emily saw the alert on her phone.

It was from Samara, letting her know that she and Zoe were ready to go.

"As entertaining as this has been, I have to go. My ride to work is waiting." Emily hated to cut the conversation short.

It wasn't often that she got to see all of her friends at once. Sometimes the long stretches of not being together bothered her, but as time marched forward she realized they would always be family. The kind of friends who could just pick up right where you left off.

They would drop everything for her, and she'd do the same for them. It was something that was going to be put to the test sooner than any of them realized.

"Send pictures of your costumes!" Aria waved.

"You too. Including Argos." Emily smiled. "And good luck at your signing."

"Thanks."

"Love you." Emily waved to her friends.

She was met with a chorus of love you too before they hung up.

"They all seem to be doing well." Alison put her hands on Emily's shoulders and gently massaged them.

Emily smiled at her in the mirror.

"I'm glad."

"Me too." Alison replied.

"Samara and Zoe are waiting." Emily reached up and put her hand on top of Alison's, holding it in place.

She peered at their reflection. She liked how they looked together.

Alison liked it, too.

Sometimes it was easy to forget the trauma in their lives when they looked at one another.

Emily stood up and turned around, pecking Alison on the lips…effectively smearing her lipstick.

Alison didn't mind. She reapplied the bright red color to her lips as Emily finished getting ready.

Once they were ready they met Samara and Zoe in hallway.

"You joining us today, Alison?" Zoe asked.

"Just this morning." Alison had finished her coffee and grabbed a smoothie on her way out.

"We're going to grab some breakfast on the way." Samara tipped a glass bottle of vitamin water back and took a sip. "Didn't have enough time to make anything this morning."

"We didn't either." Emily pulled her front door closed and locked it behind her.

She reached for Alison's hand and the blonde instinctively took it. She felt a gentle squeeze, a subtle motion that Emily used to say 'I'm here for you.'

Another little Emily-ism.

She didn't have to say a word to get her point across. She could speak without speaking and Alison could understand her.

Alison squeezed back.

'I'm here for you, too.'

They had both loosened up at breakfast, and by the time they got to work Samara had them laughing about a pride parade gone awry.

She explained…in vivid detail…how glitter canons on two of the floats had malfunctioned. Instead of little tufts of glitter sprinkling over the crowd it had basically poured glitter on top of everyone.

"I swear the crowd looked like vampires from Twilight." Zoe shut the van off and glanced in the rearview mirror.

"Never utter another word about Twilight in my presence again. Real vampires don't sparkle." Samara shot her partner a sarcastic smile.

"She prefers fangs and gore." Zoe laughed.

"No sparkling emos. Noted." Emily reached for the sliding door.

"What happened at the parade?" Alison looked up.

She'd been lost in her phone most of morning, trying to keep up with her socials.

"The crowd turned it into a Disco party. Wore that glitter with pride." Samara opened her door.

"Yeah. For weeks." Zoe mindlessly tapped at her hair like she was searching for something. "I was finding glitter in my hair for two weeks after it happened. I was finding glitter in places where glitter should never be."

They all laughed.

"So, Samara…why the hate for Twilight?" Emily helped Alison out of the van, their fingers tucked together as Alison took the step down.

"I'm very specific about my vampire lore. Those were not vampires. They were douchebags." Samara shrugged with a smile on her face. "I've seen better writing in fanfiction."

"You read fanfiction?" Zoe teased from the other side of the van. "About vampires?"

"Never Twilight." Samara held her index finger up and shook her head.

"Hanna made me do a movie marathon with her. She was obsessed with the werewolf boy." Emily pulled the van door shut. "I tuned most of it out, but I liked Rosalie…I think that was her name. Nikki Reed. I used to have fantasies about dancing naked out in the desert with her."

"Excuse me…you what?" Alison lifted her brow and cocked her head, an amused smile tugging at her lips. She wanted to be annoyed that Emily would dare think of another girl, but she was so proud of how far Emily had come with her sexuality that it was hard to be mad. "I'm standing right here."

"Oh, relax." Emily bumped against her shoulder. "Nikki is married. And even if she wasn't you're the one who has my heart." She put her palm against the small of Alison's back.

Alison's tension eased.

"That's all good and well, but I'm making a mental note to never star in a movie or a show with Nikki Reed." Alison nodded firmly.

"Isn't she married to some guy that played a vampire on TV?" Zoe asked.

"Ian Somerhalder. He played Damon Salvatore." Samara piped up. "Vampire Diaries. Much much better than Twilight. Good compelling characters. Hell of a show. I was a bit of a Rebekah fan. She was fab."

When they walked into the building they waved their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

Alison and Emily buried themselves in helping others. It was a good helpful distraction and it put them in a better mood.

When Alison finished volunteering she went off to do a little shopping, another form of therapy that she enjoyed.

When it was time to go to the bonfire she was feeling much better about going to the beach. She tried not to let it freak her out that Max and José were dressed up as Cas and Dean from Supernatural. She had known that's what they were planning before her nightmare, so it had manifested in her dreams.

Samara and Zoe were there dressed up as the two main characters from Killing Eve, Villanelle and Eve. They were dancing to the music.

Alison held up her non-alcoholic drink and tipped it towards them. She didn't want a drop of alcohol in her system. She was not going to let her guard down.

She didn't let Emily out of her sight, and she remained vigilant in the crowd. She upped her game when she looked at her phone and realized she had a missed call from an unknown number.

She saw someone with blonde hair pull a hood up over their head and slink through the crowd. Alison felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she followed. It felt just like her nightmare.

When she was close enough she reached out and latched on to the person's arm. She was expecting the worst, so she was fired up and ready for a fight. But then the person lowered her hood with a confused expression on her face.

Alison was staring at a sleek tan woman with green eyes. She was wearing a blonde wig and was dressed up in punk rock gear. The front of her hoodie had a bunch of band names emboldened on it.

"I know you." The girl cocked her head.

Not the best thing to say to someone who is paranoid.

But then Alison remembered she was a social media darling when the girl smiled at her,

"You're Alison DiLaurentis. From online." She looked down at where Alison was holding her in place.

"Sorry. I thought you were someone else." Alison dropped her arm. She brushed the sweatshirt off, smoothing down the wrinkles. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Isn't that the whole point of Halloween? To say boo and then laugh when people jump?" The girl laughed.

Alison chuckled nervously.

Not in my world.

She'd had enough jump-scares to last a lifetime.

"Hey, can I get a pic?"

"Absolutely." It was the least Alison could do for her.

She mugged for the camera like nothing was wrong and then they parted ways.

She found Emily with Max and Zoe. They were talking about karaoke. Emily wrapped her arm around her.

"You okay?" The brunette whispered.

Alison smiled, pretending like she hadn't just accosted a perfect stranger. Every time someone walked by she wondered if it could be her sister in disguise.

She was looking for ghosts in the shadows…people who couldn't possibly be there.

But nothing bad happened. No nightmares came to life.

They survived. They had a good time.

Then they went home and made love.

That night Emily laid in their bed, her arms around the sleeping blonde.

She thought about how incredibly lucky she was to have found love. Aside from the calls, everything was going so well in their lives.

It didn't seem possible that something could come along and derail them.

Alison had confided in Emily that the nightmare had felt like a bad omen for the bonfire, but they'd survived the night so Emily told her not to worry about it. No bad omens were abound.

But she was wrong.

The bad omen came in a different form…and it ended up being much worse than either one of them could have ever imagined.

It was only then that they realized that the most dangerous monsters weren't those that they knew about. It wasn't the nightmares they had that hit the hardest. It was the little things that could turn on a dime that weren't even on their radar.

It was the unexpected things that sent people careening into the darkness.

o ~ O ~ o

~ 10 Days Later ~

The call came in at 10:37 AM.

But it wasn't a call to Alison's phone.

It was a call to Emily's.

She had forgotten it in the van and hadn't thought about it in over half an hour because she was in the middle of a test in class.

Thirteen minutes later a young woman from the administrative area interrupted the class, walking over to the instructor and whispering to her.

Emily was trying not to let the interaction distract her, but she didn't miss the way her professor's face dropped.

"Miss Fields? It seems as if there is a call for you."

Emily didn't like the way her professor was looking at her.

She faced the Administrative Assistant, an older woman with curly grey hair and coke-bottle glasses that framed her small eyes.

Everything about the situation felt off. It was almost unheard of for people to be pulled out of their college classes for a phone call.

"I'm in the middle of an exam…" Emily looked at her peers in embarrassment. She felt like she was back in high school again.

Mona or Charlotte up to their old tricks…trying to pull her out of class…being sent to the principal. But there was no principal. Simply a Dean. And he wasn't the one requesting her presence.

Charlotte was still in Welby, locked up safe and secure. And Mona had moved on.

Emily knew enough about Mona's life to know that she was doing as well as she could be expected. They swapped the occasional message from time to time. The Dollhouse had changed their dynamic. She didn't consider Mona a friend, but she did care about her.

"It's an emergency." The older woman looked completely frazzled, like she was stunned that Emily was still seated.

The first thought that ran through Emily's mind was Alison.

Those damn harassment calls.

What if Charlotte had escalated?

Jason...

What if she'd hurt him?

What if Alison was in danger?

She bolted upright out of her seat and bounded down the steps.

It was either a prank that Charlotte was pulling from Rosewood or something had really happened to Alison.

Both ideas terrified her.

The older woman moved towards the door when she saw Emily charging towards the front of the classroom.

"Is it my girlfriend? Is she okay?" Emily huffed out a terrified breath as she followed the woman into the corridor.

"I couldn't tell you. She's crying a lot. I just got your name and the fact that it was an emergency out of her."

Emily was out of breath by the time they reached the call center, normally designated for students and prospective students to call for Administrative and Admission related questions.

It certainly wasn't usually used for personal phone calls.

The old woman scurried into an office around a corner and grabbed the phone off the receiver. She stretched the cord out and pressed a button and handed the phone over to the brunette.

All Emily could hear was someone sobbing heaving breaths into the phone.

"Alison?" She could feel her blood pressure spiking in alarm.

But the person on the other end sounded nothing like the blonde.

"Emily?"

At first she barely recognized her mother's voice.

The hairs on her body stood up as if an electric current had charged around her.

"Mom?"

No.

There would only be one reason that her mother would go to all this trouble to get in touch with her instead of leaving her a message.

"Emily, you…you need to come home."

No. No. No.

This isn't real.

"Mom…" she was more hesitant in her response this time.

Someone cloned her voice.

It's not her.

"Emmy…"

"Stop."

It's not her.

It can't be her.

This is a nightmare

I just need to wake up.

Sweat started dribbling down her spine.

"Sweetheart…"

It's not my mom.

This is not happening.

But she couldn't stop herself from answering.

Her heart started beating faster. Her breath started coming out in short uneven bursts.

"What's wrong? What happened? Is it dad?" She thought about his last message.

She'd never called him back.

"Love you, baby."

There was a long pause.

That's when Emily knew.

But she couldn't accept it…wouldn't accept it.

When she heard her mother's weeping on the other end of the phone she couldn't deny it any longer.

It's her.

But it can't be her.

This can't be happening.

"I didn't want you to see it on the news. There was a strike on his base. He…he was trying to get people to safety, but another strike hit and…"

STOP! STOP IT!

Emily's brain turned into static. She didn't want to hear the details. Her heart stopped for a moment, an empty pause where it should have been pounding away in her chest. Grief poured into the void to the point that she felt dizzy.

"No." The phone slipped from Emily's fingers.

A stampede of emotions were unleashed. It was as if she'd been stabbed in the heart.

She dropped to the floor, an agonized wail echoing in the office. Her stomach convulsed as she let out fast and furious sobs.

The poor receptionist had no idea what to do. She looked back and forth between the hallway and her desk.

This isn't real.

She didn't realize that she'd picked the phone back up until she heard her mother say that ten people had been killed in the line of duty and that it would have been more had it not been for Wayne's quick thinking.

"Em, are you there?"

This is a cruel trick.

Charlotte is a fucking psycho for this…

"You're sure?"

"What?" Her mother heaved a breath.

"He was fine the last time I talked to him."

He was coming home. We were going to have dinner and he would laugh and tell stories and make Alison feel like part of the family.

"I know this is a shock, but…" That was all her mother managed to say before she crumpled again.

When she heard her mom's keening wails she knew…she knew…it wasn't Charlotte. No one could replicate that kind of anguish.

Oh, God.

It's real.

Emily avoided the news. Often she heard about strikes on bases and soldiers being killed, but she had to distance herself from it because she would go insane otherwise. She hadn't been keeping track of what was going on for this very reason. She couldn't handle the anxiety.

Several minutes passed as Emily listened to her mother crying on the phone.

"Your Ma says you're doing really well. Your calls and texts really mean a lot to her."

Emily's face crumpled in pain.

"Are you alone?" Emily cleared her throat, barely managing to make it back to her feet. She used the desk for support, because her legs certainly weren't helping her stay upright.

"I just can't believe…" Another round of keening sounds.

"Mom, please tell me you're not alone." Somehow thinking that her mother was by herself made it worse.

"The two service members who notified me are here with me. They said they'd stay as long as I need…" There was a slight disconnect in her hoarse response.

"I'm going to call Toby…" It was eerie how calm her voice sounded.

"He's on a build two hours away." Her mom's response was garbled.

"Call Ashley Marin and Ella Montgomery. And if you can reach Veronica Hastings she won't hesitate to come over, too. But she's in Pittsburgh, so it'll take her longer to get there. But she won't have a problem hopping a flight."

How is this happening?

How was she managing to take charge of the situation? She couldn't even feel her feet.

"Okay."

She could hear the shock in her mother's voice. She could feel it. Of course she hadn't thought to call her friends. Her first call was to her child. Emily had always been her top priority, sometimes to the point of putting herself last.

"I don't want you alone." A lump in Emily's throat threatened to cut off her airway, only to be burst back open by a scream she could feel building in her chest.

"I don't want you alone either, baby." Her mother managed to reel in her emotions and form a coherent thought. "Call Alison."

Emily nodded, like her mother could actually see her non-verbal response.

"I've got to…" Got to what? She couldn't think, couldn't breathe. "I'm going to go home. The…the condo."

Home.

What does that word truly mean?

Home was where her parents had raised her.

She felt like a lost child.

She was staring at a tiny imperfection in the paint on the wall when she heard her mother reply,

"I love you."

"Love you, baby."

Her mother's three little words broke her down. She was never going to hear her dad say them again.

"I love you, too." She managed to choke out.

She didn't remember hanging up, but the phone was out of her hands when she looked at them. They were shaking.

"Oh, sweetie…is there someone I can call for you?" The older woman was standing next to her, offering her a bottle of water.

Emily had gone mute. She didn't respond. She didn't move to take the water. Her file's emergency contact number was her mother, who was just as despondent as she was.

Her father. Her dad…gone. She would never be able to hug him again. No more teasing banter. No more laughs and smiles.

"I'm lucky to be your dad."

No, dad. I'm the lucky one. A pause. -Was- the lucky one? The tense change was jarring. I was the lucky one.

But she'd never get to tell him that.

He would never see her get her degree or walk her down the aisle or hold his grandbabies. It wasn't just about losing his presence. It was about all the things he'd never get to experience…all the things she'd never get to experience with him.

Emily didn't realize that she was playing out her entire life. Her brain was firing on all cylinders and she didn't know how to handle it. The highlight reel of her life looked dim without the man who had held her in the hospital room and cried the day she was born.

"You're my favorite child. Even though you're my only child. I would choose you over all the other kids in the world."

The receptionist was still staring at her.

"Thank you." Emily reached out and took the water.

She didn't open it. She stared at it for a few seconds and then walked towards the door.

"I love you and I'm proud of you."

"You should really let me call someone for you." The woman followed her.

"I'll be okay." She felt like a mindless drone.

How would she ever be okay again? Nothing compared to the rush of feelings pulsing inside of her chest. Nothing compared to the absolute torture of losing a parent…not even the Dollhouse.

Hell, she would take the Dollhouse if it meant her father could live. She'd stay down there another month...a year...a decade if she had to.

The older woman trailed along behind her, pleading with her to sit down and breathe.

"I have to make a call and my cell phone is in my van." Emily lied.

She needed the woman off of her back. She needed to be alone.

That seemed to do the trick.

All she had on her was the keys to the van. She didn't go and pick up her belongings. She didn't return to class. She mindlessly walked out to where the van was parked in the parking deck and pulled her keys out of her pocket.

"Miss you, kiddo."

She unlocked the door and sat down in the driver's seat. She stared out the windshield for what felt like an eternity.

"I love you and I'm proud of you and I'm lucky to be your dad. I'll try to catch you next time."

But there wouldn't be a next time.

She let out a scream and started beating on the steering wheel, hot tears flooding her puffy red cheeks. She hit the hard material over and over until her palms were on fire.

All she could think was "I want my dad."

It sent horrible pangs through her chest.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she pulled her hands up in front of her face and stared at her fingers, hoping that she would sprout a sixth finger. She'd heard that when having vivid nightmares sometimes people could shake their way out of it by staring at their hands, because oftentimes there were more than five fingers in nightmares.

All she saw was five angry red pulsing fingers from where she'd been beating on the steering wheel.

Wake up. She screamed at herself. It's not real. It's a nightmare.

She tried to visualize a door in her mind…something else that people could use to escape their nightmares and wake themselves up.

But her mind was an empty void.

When she opened her eyes she was still in the van.

WAKE UP!

But she couldn't wake up. Because it was real.

An hour later she was back at her condo with no recollection of how she had gotten home.

It didn't dawn on her to call Alison. It didn't dawn on her to call anyone. The cold shock of the news rendered her unable to process the fact that she even had a phone.

She scrambled through the apartment, searching for her laptop. She'd left it at home because she knew she had an exam and all her notes had been on her phone.

She yanked the laptop off the charging cable and opened it up, pulling it up to where all her videos and pictures were stored on the cloud. She scrolled through several of Alison before she landed on the video of her father.

She hit play.

"Hi, Em."

His voice was equal parts comforting and agonizing.

"Miss you kiddo. Just wanted to tell you I love you and I'm proud of you and that I'm lucky to be your dad."

Emily reached out to touch the screen, as if she could hold her father one last time…as if he wasn't sitting on a slab somewhere waiting for transport back to the states.

Her eyes burned with tears.

"I'll try and catch you next time. Your Ma says you're doing really well. Your calls and texts really mean a lot to her. You're a good child. My favorite child…"

His laugh. God, his laugh. She'd never hear it again.

Her chest hurt.

"Even though you're my only child."

Dad...please don't go.

"Tell Alison I said hello. I can't wait to see you both. Love you, baby."

She hit replay.

Once. Then twice. She replayed it over three dozen times, tears streaming down her face.

He isn't dead.

He's right there.

He's talking to me.

I'm right here, dad. I'm here.

It only soothed her for a half a second. Then reality came crashing in.

She closed the laptop and choked out a sob.

I don't want to live without him.

I don't know HOW to live without him.

The ground beneath her was moving. She was a shadow of herself as she dragged her feet on the floor.

She stopped when she reached the closet in her bedroom. She opened the bifold and stared at the little safety box.

Her hands were moving without permission, her fingers typing in the code to the locked safe.

And then she was staring at the gun inside.

She imagined the weight of it in her hand. The power behind her finger pulling the trigger.

End it all.

All the pain. Gone.

I want to be with him.

I don't want to live in a world without him.

She slowly reached inside, but then she heard the echoes of her mother's sobs in her mind.

What would it do to her?

Her mother's anguish doubled…and suddenly she was hearing every single cry Alison had screamed out when she was having nightmares.

It would destroy her.

What was she thinking?

I can't do this to them.

She slammed the gun locker and rushed out of the closet before she could change her mind. She backed away from it like it was a bomb ripe to explode, skittering out of the bedroom and back into the living room.

She was even more shaken up than she'd been when she got the news.

She sat on the couch in utter shock for another hour.

Then she stood up and paced for a while, which only served to upset her stomach.

She rushed into the bathroom and hurled everything she'd eaten for the past 12 hours into the toilet.

She let her head hang over the toilet bowl for a few minutes and then pushed herself to her feet. She leaned over the sink and turned the tap water on, rinsing her mouth out.

She shut the water off and gripped the edges of the sink. The flats of her palms were cool against it.

She peered at her reflection. She barely recognized the girl staring back at her. Shadows painted the undersides of her eyes. There was a hollow look in them. Her face was swollen and red and tear-stained.

What do I do now?

There was no guide for loss and grief. How did people manage to keep going after the worst thing in the world happened to them?

She reached for a towel and wiped her mouth off and then mindlessly walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

That's when she heard the front door opening.

"Em?" Alison called warily. "Are you here? The alarm is off."

Emily shuffled towards the living room, only making it halfway before her feet stopped working. She stared down at them like they had betrayed her.

"In here." Her voice was hoarse from all the crying.

"I've been trying to call you, but it keeps going to voicemail." Alison dropped her key to the condo in a bowl next to the door and walked towards the kitchen. "I've got that Influencer event tonight, but I was hoping we could spend the afternoon together."

She caught a glimpse of Emily's side profile. The brunette was turned, staring at the wall.

When she turned around Alison's heart seized in her chest.

Emily's face was red and splotchy and stricken with tears. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying.

Alison could see every little pronounced line of tension on her face. Her entire body was constricting in an unspoken emotional agony. There was despondency in her sweet brown eyes, shock glazing over them.

"Hi, Em. Miss you kiddo."

His voice.

It was burned into her soul.

And for the first time ever…his voice hurt.

Emily's feet gave way. She backed against the wall and slid to the floor.

Alison was next to her in an instant, her hands caressing Emily's face and searching her for injuries.

Emily looked into her eyes, but it was as if she was looking through her.

"What's wrong?" Alison put her hands on Emily's knees.

Emily didn't move. She was still, a life-size sculpture.

A life-sized blob of human mass… Emily thought to herself. I'm useless.

"Emily, talk to me." Alison touched her cheek. "Who did this to you?"

Who made her cry?

I will kill them.

Emily blinked, for the first time registering that Alison was there.

She saw Alison opening her mouth and talking to her, but she couldn't hear a word she was saying.

All she could hear was her father.

"Just wanted to tell you I love you and I'm proud of you and that I'm lucky to be your dad."

Everything was closing in around her. She was certain she was going to pass out.

Everything was black.

She didn't feel herself moving, but when she blinked she was sitting on the sofa, violent tremors rocking her body as she sobbed.

Her chest heaved. Her hands violently trembled.

Alison stroked her face, trying to comfort her and soothe her. At some point, Emily collapsed against her, letting the torrent of her tears drench her shirt.

"I'll try and catch you next time."

Her pain was staggering. Her anguish was so prominent that Alison could feel her silent screams. She was slowly suffocating, and Alison couldn't do anything to help her. It was torture.

She pulled the brunette into her arms and held her as she cried.

"Your Ma says you're doing really well. Your calls and texts really mean a lot to her."

Emily's body went limp against hers and she started to slip off of the couch. She wanted to curl up on the floor and die.

"You're a good child. My favorite child…"

Seconds later they were on the floor, Alison still holding her as Emily rocked in grief.

"Did someone hurt you?" Alison growled, ferocity in her tone.

Malibu had its fair share of creeps just waiting in the shadows to attack innocent people. If someone had hurt Emily she was going to go ballistic.

"Even though you're my only child. I would choose you over all the other kids in the world."

"I…" Her voice sounded pained. She looked at Alison, turmoil in her expression that was even more jarring than the pain in her voice.

"Tell Alison I said hello. I can't wait to see you both."

Her face crumpled and a powerful sob ripped through her.

It terrified Alison.

"Emily…please." Her voice was filled with desperation. "What happened? What can I do?"

"Nothing." Emily choked out. Alison couldn't bring her dad back. "There's nothing anyone can do."

"Love you, baby."

"Please just talk to me."

Emily didn't want to say it. She didn't want to make it real. She had somehow convinced herself if she didn't admit it, then it wouldn't be true. But then she looked at the desperation on Alison's face and it came out before she could stop it.

"My dad died."

Alison stiffened at the words.

That's not something she could fix by beating someone up.

"I'm sorry, Em." Alison pushed her forehead against the brunette's, tears pooling in her sad blue eyes…which made Emily feel like crying again. "I'm so sorry."

"This shouldn't be happening." Emily lifted her head up towards the ceiling, nearly choking on her tears. "He's supposed to be with us. He's supposed to pretend he knows how to surf and to buy a bunch of California merchandise and make my mom roll her eyes and…and embarrass me like he always does singing Happy Birthday to me. He's supposed to make stupid dad-jokes at Thanksgiving." She was talking so fast that Alison could barely make out what she was saying.

Alison didn't know what to say. She remembered the shock of seeing her mother's body buried in the Hastings' yard. The visceral twisting of her stomach when she saw the video of her killer burying her.

The fact that her murder was still unsolved left a void in her. She had not gotten any closure. She wasn't sure she ever would.

Emily was now experiencing that same pain.

The sudden and violent loss of a parent.

"I can't believe this is happening." Emily was rocking again, repeating the same sentence over and over. "I can't believe this is happening."

Alison felt tears rolling down her cheeks, not only for Emily and her father, but for the grief she kept locked in a tiny little box in her mind.

"I'm here." Alison whispered against the top of her head, kissing it. "I'm here, Emily."

Emily stopped rocking.

She stopped talking altogether.

Sometimes there was a special kind of quiet, heavy and thick with tension…that fell into a tense stillness when there were no words to say.

That special quiet permeated in the air for several minutes.

The quiet cleared Alison's mind. She knew exactly what she had to do, not that it was going to bring Emily's father back.

All she could do was be there for her...the same way Emily had been there for her since she'd arrived on her doorstep. Emily had taken her in when she'd called for help that scary summer night after Tyler and the Airbnb incident.

Emily had been there for her for years. That's what people did when they loved one another.

"It's okay if you need to let it out. It's okay. You have been there for me every day since we met. You were always my rock." She whispered gently against Emily's ear. "Let go, Em. I'm here. It's my turn to be your rock."

That did it.

The brunette crumbled again.

She was crying, full on body sobs that Alison could feel grating her soul with each breath she took. Alison wanted to absorb some of her pain…all of her pain, but she couldn't.

The blonde held her for what felt like an eternity until her sobs tapered off, changing to a lighter more breathy cry.

Alison didn't let go, even when Emily had exhausted herself. She held her the way the brunette had embraced her after her nightmare about Charlotte and the bonfire.

But Emily's nightmare was far worse than any nightmare that Alison could fathom. The brunette's worst fear had actually happened. Her nightmare had come true. Charlotte's games seemed small in comparison to the void in Emily's chest where her heart had been ripped out by the loss of her father.

Alison knew in that moment that Emily would never be the same. She didn't know what the future held, but she knew that she was going to be with her every step of the way.

---

A/N: I mentioned early on that a lot of what I was writing was going to remain canon, just progressed in a different way. I thought long and hard about this particular scenario. I fought with myself on whether to change it or keep it. As I was writing, I think it just naturally fell into pace with how the story is going to continue its path going forward. It wasn't an easy decision by any means. Wayne is an angel and I loved his character (so much so that I've kept him alive in a few of my fics).

This chapter and the ones that follow were necessary to tell the story I wanted to tell…to have Alison there with Emily so she isn't alone. To have Alison discovering new aspects of who she is as a person and to have Emily learn how to navigate life and continue her journey and learn how to bend and mold into the person she is meant to be.

I did enjoy the sweeter and funnier aspects of this chapter though. Domestic Emison. And breaking the fourth wall with Samara mentioning "The Vampire Diaries". Anyone catch that reference? And the other little Easter egg from Emily "I used to have fantasies about dancing naked out in the desert with her" (reference to yet another show…Shay's show "Dollface"). And of course...Hanna and her Cheese commentary and the other Liars.

How are we feeling?

Next up: Back to Rosewood we go.

Careful about spoilers in the reviews.