A/N: Thank you all so much for being so awesome. Your continuous support means a lot to me. I LOVE hearing your thoughts and theories.
Chapter 12:
November Rain
On Thanksgiving break Emily and Alison had flown in to Rosewood around the same time as Hanna and Caleb. Toby had picked them all up so Pam wouldn't have more on her to-do list.
Ashley Marin had offered to host, but Pam turned her down. Pam was burying her sadness in cooking. She hadn't had a chance to put out the holiday decorations, but Toby had enlisted Ashley's boyfriend Ted to help him make sure the giant cornucopia was there to greet Emily.
Emily remembered the day her dad bought it. She'd been thirteen and going through her moody phase, but she'd grinned and call him so corny-copia when she saw it. He'd slapped his knees and laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.
But that laughter was gone, and the holidays would never feel the same.
Still, it tugged on her heartstrings to see the corny-copia out on their front lawn when they pulled up to her house. There was no price you could put on nostalgia.
When they pulled in the driveway one of the first things that caught Emily's eyes was a new decoration.
The gutters were lined with a bunch of tiny little fat turkeys that hung like Christmas lights.
"You guys hung up turkey lights?" Despite the hollow feeling of grief in her heart, she laughed.
"Those are the tackiest things I've ever seen." Hanna snickered from the back seat. She leaned forward and put her hand on Emily's shoulder. "He would have gotten a real kick out of this."
"Oh, he would have loved this." Emily's eyes were fixed on the lame Thanksgiving decorations. Her family didn't even care about Thanksgiving. They had come from an entirely different culture. But her father had tried his best so that they would fit in…so Emily could have a sweet innocent childhood. He just wanted his baby girl to have a good time.
Alison had her phone out and ready to take a picture, not that she would be posting it on her public Instagram.
She had a separate photo album where she kept all her mementos with Emily.
The last photo she'd shared publicly was one she'd taken from the plane. It showed the California terrain and the ocean from a distance.
She wasn't advertising where they were going, but she'd shared several scenic views as well as one of her holding a bottle of water and a flavored powder she was going to add for taste. She was doing a collaboration and the flavored powders were actually pretty good.
The last slide showed a picture of her tipping the water back. Only her head and the back of her seat were visible.
People in her comments were speculating on what fabulous travel destination she was going to, because she made it seem like it was some lavish place and not a tiny town in Pennsylvania.
Where are you going, Queen?
Looking Beautiful.
Wish I was lucky enough to sit next to you on a plane…or ANYWHERE.
I bet you're heading somewhere fancy.
Vacation Vlog! WE NEED IT!
You could sell me tap water with lead and I'd buy it.
New movie? SPILL!
She felt an obligation to answer a few, so she chucked out several emojis to satisfy people.
The one question she wouldn't answer was where she was going. The last thing she wanted was for certain people to know she was back home.
She'd carefully picked out stylish outfits that were low-key so they were incognito. She didn't want people gawking at her and Emily. Her popularity had soared after she left Rosewood. Mostly hateful bitches who had despised her, but were suddenly her best friends on social media.
Keeping out of sight when she'd come back for Wayne's funeral had been tricky, but she'd stayed close to the Fields house and the funeral was only for close friends and family.
Fortunately for Alison, the only people in town who might have an inkling about her visit didn't care. Charlotte was locked up. And Jason was still ignoring her.
Her old house looked clean and the lawn was cared for, so he was either hiring someone to take care of it or he was taking care of it himself.
Funny how he could pick up the phone and call a landscaper, but not his own sister.
She had left him several new messages. She didn't tell him she was coming to town, but she planned on visiting him. She had to talk to him. Whatever was going on with Charlotte couldn't continue.
Alison stared at the familiar street. It was strange being back in Rosewood. She'd been in shock when they came back a month ago for the funeral. She hadn't had time to process anything then. But now that things had slowed down and she was staring at the neighborhood she grew up in she was trying to remember what had been so special about it in the first place.
It was completely understandable that Emily and the rest of her friends had turned tail and ran as far away as possible.
She snapped several pictures of the decorations. They really were quite tacky, but they were fun and quirky, too.
"I'll help with your bags." Toby shifted the car into park.
He was taking Hanna and Caleb to Hanna's mom's house after dropping the two of them off.
"It's fine. We can get them." Emily quickly shifted out of her seat belt and opened the door before he could object.
Alison followed. She had packed light. Since they were spending most of their time with Emily's mother she was planning on wearing some of Emily's old clothes. Her mother hadn't touched Emily's room after she left, and the brunette hadn't taken everything to Malibu.
Hanna rolled her window down.
"We'll see you tomorrow night for dinner."
Caleb leaned over her towards the window, making eye contact with Emily.
"Let us know if you need anything before then." There was hard look in his eyes, one that Emily and Alison recognized right away.
He meant if Charlotte's threats escalated.
Toby still didn't know about it. He probably would have broken down the front door at Alison's house and had it out with Jason if he did know.
Alison could picture it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Her brother deserved to be knocked around a bit for not answering her calls.
"I think we're good. But thanks." Emily answered before Alison could tell Toby to strangle Jason until he came to his senses.
"Thanks for the lift, Toby." Alison smiled as Emily lugged their bags out of the back. "I can Venmo you for gas…"
He looked insulted.
"Your money is no good here, Malibu Barbie." His lips twitched and his baby blue eyes flickered with a hint of humor.
"Ah, so Aria told you about her little nickname for me." Alison nodded.
It wasn't so bad. Aria meant it in an affectionate way. Besides, she'd been called way worse.
"Spencer did." Toby shook his head, which ruffled the thick hair he was growing out. "I am but a simple man who carpenters in the woods all day, so I don't do social media. But she says you're doing a really good job out on the west coast."
"She made top five of up and coming influencers and she's already got a pilot for a streaming series lined up. They're working on pre-production." Emily wheeled their luggage towards Alison.
Alison's cheeks got noticeably darker.
She was proud that Emily was proud of her, but the looks of approval she got from the others were unexpected.
"Well, hot damn." Hanna laughed. "Pretty soon my boss is going to be asking me to set up a meeting so she can style you."
"I would be happy to. Aria and I are already working together on sharing content. We'd love to have you in the mix." Alison loved the idea of seeing the girls more.
It would be nice to make up for lost time, and to get to know them a little better. She'd been so self-centered in high school that she never really took the time to actually listen to her friends.
"Maybe I can build you guys a set." Toby joked.
Caleb was doing something on his phone, seemingly uninterested. When he looked up the others were staring at him.
"What? I'm not into that flashy Hollywood stuff."
"It's Malibu stuff." Hanna rolled her eyes, but there was love in them when she looked at him. "You're such a grumpy old man."
"I miss my cat." He mumbled. "He doesn't judge me."
"Cheese will be fine for three days." Hanna poked his arm. "The pet-sitter can handle him. Besides we don't want a repeat of what happened last time we tried to take him on a flight."
"What trouble could a cat possibly get in to on a plane?" Toby lifted a curious brow.
Caleb started to laugh. And he continued to laugh. He couldn't stop.
Hanna looked at him and they shared the inside joke…the funniest inside joke in the world.
"He got out of his carrier…" Caleb tried to contain his laughter. "A flight attendant found him wandering the cabin. It was the funniest thing in the world to look up and see her holding our chubby housecat and making an announcement that someone's cat had gotten loose."
"The best part is that it was a short flight for a fashion show. We couldn't find a pet-sitter, so we had to bring him. I didn't realize at the time he was a reincarnation of Houdini." Hanna snorted. "That flight attendant looked like she was so done. The rest of the plane thought it was hilarious though."
"I'd take a cat as a seatmate. Better a cat than a belligerent drunk." Emily shrugged.
Alison reached for the handle of her rolling suitcase, but Emily refused to let her take it. Alison's face scrunched in disapproval, a ferocious little dent in her brow. Emily chuckled.
"Thanks again, Toby." Emily glanced through the open window.
"Anytime." His hands were steady on the wheel. "See you tomorrow night."
When he pulled away Emily and Alison looked at one another.
"You okay?" Alison asked.
Emily nodded. She glanced up at the grey November sky, but all she could focus on was the blonde. Her perfume was crisp and light in the cool air, wrapping around the two of them. The warmth from her body heat enveloped them in a cocoon of familiarity.
The front door cracked open as they approached the house.
Emily's mother emerged on the porch.
She had a glass of wine in her hand. All Emily could think about was how much she'd been drinking in Malibu.
Same coping mechanisms.
Though hopefully her mother drank more in moderation. It had not been as easy as Emily thought it would be to stop drinking. She slipped on occasion, but she was honest with Alison about it. The most important thing was communication.
Pam seemed to be in good spirits. None of her friends had expressed any concern about her drinking. Hanna's mother had been around a lot. Aria's mother came by a few times a week. And Spencer's mom called quite a bit. She also had her book club friends and Toby looking out for her.
While it wasn't the same as having her child with her, it was a decent support system.
"I'm so glad you girls are here." She hugged Emily, and then Alison.
"How have you been doing, mom?" Emily looked at the flag draped in the window, signifying the loss of her dad.
"I'm okay." Pam touched her hand. "I've been going to a really good grief support group."
"Good." Emily nodded in approval.
"And you?"
"I'm good."
It was a lie, but Alison wasn't going to call Emily on it.
"Come on in. You must be exhausted." Pam widened the door for them to walk inside.
Emily smelled food when she crossed the threshold. She rolled their bags to the steps and then stopped.
She glanced into the kitchen.
Pam had made them lunch, which wasn't a surprise to Emily. Her mother stress-baked.
The thought of eating at the table without her father at the head of it made her feel sick.
Luckily, her mother set them up to eat in the living room.
Emily put their luggage in her old bedroom and then joined her mom and Alison in the living room.
They ate lunch and caught up on what was going on in their lives.
Pam lit up when Alison talked about how she was tiptoeing into the spotlight. Alison told her about being on set, going to influencer parties, and working with a team for her Instagram and TikTok content.
Emily was happy to let Alison keep her mother entertained, because she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to lie to the two most important women in her life, especially if they asked about school.
She hadn't told Alison that she was failing one of her classes and only had a few weeks to bring her grade up. The rest of her grades were slipping, but she managed to keep them above failing.
"How is school going, Em?" Her mom turned to face her, her eyes still wide with the excitement of hearing how well Alison was doing.
Shit. Emily had been hoping her mom wouldn't ask.
She saw Alison's eyes trained on hers.
The back of Emily's neck felt hot. She wanted to reach up and rub it, but it was a telltale sign that she was lying.
"My professors have been really understanding." Far more understanding than Emily expected them to be. Her mouth felt dry. She reached for the glass of water sitting on a coaster in front of her, taking a sip and trying to think about what she wanted to say. She couldn't stall forever. "I'm doing my best."
It was generic enough so that there weren't many follow up questions that could be asked.
"Good. That's all you can do." Her mother nodded in satisfaction.
Alison's eyes narrowed slightly, like she was calculating what Emily was saying. If she knew something was up…she didn't out Emily to her mother.
After they got settled in they went to help Pam get the kitchen organized. It was just going to be a small gathering, but Pam was making enough to feed an entire army.
Things were going well until Pam mentioned that Wayne's headstone had been installed.
Emily quietly withdrew when her mother talked about visiting his grave.
Emily took an opportunity to slouch away when her mother took a phone call from one of her friends.
She walked out into the crisp late afternoon air. The sun was hanging low in the sky, partially obscured by rain clouds.
She stared at the flag displayed in the front window of the house. She reached out to touch the glass with her palm, silently telling her father she loved him.
She paced the length of the porch a few times before settling into the porch swing. It squeaked beneath her weight. She swayed a little bit.
The front door opened and Alison stepped out.
The blonde glanced at Emily, gauging whether she wanted to be alone or not. Emily didn't indicate either way, so Alison walked over to her.
"Hey." She sat on the porch swing next to her.
She knew there was no point in asking if Emily was okay, because she clearly wasn't.
"Hey." Emily smiled softly and reached for her hand.
"What's going on with school?" Alison squeezed the tips of Emily's fingers. So Alison had picked up on her lie. "You said you'd let me know if you needed help."
"It's fine. I'll pull everything together. I don't have a choice." Emily huffed out a sigh.
"If it's too much for you why don't you just take a semester off? Or we can look for a tutor…"
Emily interrupted with a quiet laugh.
"It's not the material. It's that I'm not motivated to work on it." Emily shrugged.
She looked away, trying to hide her embarrassment.
"That's nothing to feel bad about." Alison reached up, forcing Emily to face her.
"I just don't see the point to anything anymore. I feel like I'm barely treading water."
"I know."
"I'll figure out what I'm going to do when I get back. I just want to focus on getting through this holiday." She was looking directly at the cornucopia decoration on the lawn.
"Okay." Alison nodded. She knew not to push her. "How are you dealing with being back here?"
Emily took a moment to scan the yard and then her house, her eyes landing on the flag. She exhaled through her nose.
"Mixed feelings." She faced Alison. "I'm glad to see my mom. And a part of me feels nostalgic for my childhood. Even the crappy parts. Because he was still here. But I also really feel his absence. He was such a presence…even when he wasn't home." She kissed Alison's temple and smiled sadly at her. "How are you doing being back?"
"Honestly? I want to turn around and run as far away from here as I possibly can…" She saw Emily crack a smile at her brutal honesty, "…but…" She pulled Emily's hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles. "I have good memories here, too. This is where I met you, after all."
"If you want to make a break for it I won't judge you." The brunette gently tugged her hand free from Alison's grasp and cupped her chin, pulling her forward until their lips met. "I'd cover you."
Alison put her hand against Emily's thigh, squeezing hard enough to make her laugh.
"I'm not running anywhere unless you're running with me."
They were moving in for another kiss when the front door swung open. They looked up and saw Pam waving at them.
"There you two are. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to have to hazard going to the store. I don't have everything I need to make the deviled eggs. I'm sure it's going to be a bloodbath trying to navigate through all the crazies." Pam teased.
"I'll help you fight the crowds, mom." Emily rose to her feet. "I'll drive. Grab the keys and I'll meet you at the car."
Pam looked delighted that her daughter wanted to do something so annoying and mundane. She turned back inside the house.
Emily reached for Alison's hand.
"Do you mind staying here? I'd like a little bit of alone time with her. I want to see how she's really doing without feeling like she has to pretend because you're with us."
She tugged on Alison's hand, helping her stand.
"Sure." Alison pushed herself out of the swing. "I was thinking about going on a walk anyway. I want to see if my brother can ignore me pounding on our front door shouting obscenities for all the neighbors to hear."
"Say a few swear words for me." Emily smiled. "And be careful. My mom has pepper spray in the hall closet."
"It's Rosewood. Not New York City." Alison scoffed.
"We both know the streets of Rosewood are far more dangerous." Emily's brow dipped in concern.
"I'll grab some before I leave." Alison stood on her tiptoes and kissed the brunette. "Maybe I can spray my dumb brother in the face with it."
"Try not to get arrested on the holidays, Ali." Emily rolled her eyes with a laugh.
"I'll do my best."
They walked into the house. Emily broke towards the kitchen, where she knew her mother was taking stock of every ingredient in their house to make sure they didn't need anything else.
Alison walked towards the stairs. She shrugged on her coat and grabbed her cell phone and a set of keys she carried everywhere. In a pinch they could be used as a weapon, too. Not that she thought she needed it.
Or hell…maybe she did need a weapon.
She stopped to get a can of pepper spray to appease Emily and then set out to her house.
It was strange to be back in her old neighborhood. She'd only been gone for six months, but it seemed like it had been much longer. Even though almost nothing had changed, everything looked different. The space seemed bigger than she remembered. Emptier. But she wasn't afraid of what was hiding in the dark anymore.
She had purpose in her stride as she'd strutted the streets she had owned as a teenager. But something happened when she got close to her old house.
A sense of dread set in.
She slowed her pace when her childhood home cast a darkness over the street.
The large structure was shielded by the sun hanging low in the sky. The shadow of the house looked like a monster in the dusk of the early evening.
She tried to picture positive memories, but she felt as if though she was being consumed by the past.
She stared at the yard. It looked so normal…so undisturbed.
But memories of the night she was attacked clouded her thoughts.
The smell of blood and fresh soil.
The feeling of her lungs collapsing.
Her mother's hysterical screams.
Her screams.
She was screaming.
She was screaming so loud.
Someone was crying.
Her mother was shoveling dirt over her.
Panic seized her.
Why can't you hear me, mother?
Can't you hear me screaming?
She blinked rapidly, trying to push her past away. But no matter how hard she tried, she was trapped underground…unable to breathe.
Her eyes were glued to her old tomb, a burial site from which she'd escaped.
Tears flooded her eyes.
She glanced back at the large front window, which at one time had offered a view inside the house, but now was shrouded by dark curtains.
She'd seen her mother watching her through the very same window after Emily had walked her home from school one day.
Emily had insisted she not walk alone. It was rather noble, and Alison liked her company.
When they'd said goodbye there had been an awkward little hug in the driveway. It had filled Alison's stomach with butterflies.
When she'd walked through the door she'd been met by her mother's curious expression.
"Why didn't you invite Emily in? You two seem to have such a good time together."
Alison had grumbled something back in irritation that only another teenager could translate.
"She really seems to like you." Her mother had hovered as Alison shifted her purse off of her shoulder.
"I guess." Alison didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
"Do you like her?" When her mom reached out to touch her shoulder she physically recoiled.
"Of course I do. She's my friend." Alison wanted to ask her why she was asking such stupid questions.
"I know that, but I see the way you two are…" Hearing her mother say it scared the shit out of her. "Do you have…feelings for her?"
A vise closed around Alison's throat, and she couldn't speak for several seconds. When she did it came out as an annoyed cry.
"No! Not like that!"
"I just want you to know that I would be okay with it if you did." A calculating look flashed in her eyes. "But we might want to keep it between us girls. Your dad can be a little…insensitive. Plus…you know how this town is about things like that. Best to keep a positive image."
So her mother wanted her to lie…just like she'd been lying all her life.
It had all started with that stupid yellow dress. The yellow dress she would later find out was for Charlotte…who was being kept prisoner as a child.
"Who was the yellow dress for?" Alison crossed her arms over her chest, challenging her mother.
"What dress?" To her mom's credit, she looked like she was telling the truth.
Easy for a manipulative liar. Alison knew that from experience.
"The one you told me to lie about when I was five. Who was that for?" Even as a young girl she'd been fierce and unwilling to back down.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Her mother blinked and stared at her.
"You're lying." She had scowled.
"For Heaven's sake, Alison. I just wanted to show an interest in your life. I think that Emily is good for you. And if you like her…"
"I DON'T!" This time she screamed and stomped her feet against the ground like a wailing toddler. "I DON'T LIKE HER!"
"I was lying." Alison whispered silently to her past. "I always loved her."
She slowly did a loop of the house, stopping at a grave meant for her.
Charlotte had been right there the entire time, just out of sight.
Why did you protect her over me, mom?
She leaned down and put her hand against the yellowing grass. It was fitting that the grass was dying where someone else had actually died.
A piece of herself had died that day, too.
The grass would spring back to life after the winter, but the part of Alison that died would never see the light of day again.
The ground was hard underneath her heels. She cursed herself for not wearing more sensible footwear. She'd been so focused on getting here that it hadn't crossed her mind until she was already halfway away from Emily's house.
She circled the property, hoping that Jason would come out and scream at her. She was ready for a fight.
Alison stopped when she reached the Hastings property line. Her eyes locked in on the area where her mother had been found buried in a shallow grave.
Alison had just come out of hiding back then. She thought her mother was avoiding her. She thought she didn't want to see her and that she didn't care about her. Alison just assumed that her mother couldn't face her after she'd chosen Alison's attacker over her own daughter.
It made sense now. Charlotte was her daughter, too. But that didn't make her feel any better.
She never got to have a conversation with her mom…a real conversation where they could clear the air. And she still didn't know what happened to her mother. If her blood pressure had bottomed out why had she been buried?
I will never have closure.
Alison sniffled and then wiped her sleeve underneath her eyes before the tears could fall.
The breeze sent a chill through her.
It sent her careening back to her childhood.
"Mommy, can I get the pink?" She was three years old again and nuzzling against her mother's shoulder at the carnival, staring wide-eyed at the cotton candy.
Her brother was on some ride with another tow-headed little kid. She would only later find out it was Charlotte.
"Jason and his friend wanted the blue." She pointed to the sugary treat, something her mother rarely let her have. "But I want the pink."
"Of course, sweetheart." Her mom had shifted Alison in her arms and reached into her pocket.
Cash.
So daddy wouldn't find out.
"Wave hi to your brother and little Char-Char."
Alison had lifted her tiny little hand and called out her brother's name. Jason was too busy laughing with his friend to notice, but his friend smiled and waved back.
Alison blinked and stared at her mother's grave from afar.
Did you ever really love me, mommy?
What kind of mother buried her child?
As she was turning back towards the house she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Spinning back around she saw a silhouette of a tall blonde, an apparition of her mother. But when she blinked it was gone.
She took a deep breath and forced herself back into reality.
She had come out here for a reason.
I have to stop Charlotte.
She had to do something before Emily did something drastic, but she couldn't do anything without her brother knowing what Charlotte was doing.
Maybe he knew and he didn't care.
Maybe he was helping her.
She hated to consider it, but it could be why he stopped talking to her.
The house was a shell of what she remembered. Beautiful on the outside, but rotting and sour because of the people inside poisoning it.
The last time she had been home she and Jason had fought.
It was right after Charlotte's hearing.
After testifying against her, Alison had taken off without him and beat him back to the house.
But he was hot on her tail.
He had barged through the front door after her, belligerent as hell. It reminded Alison of her father's explosive temper. Ironically, Jason wasn't biologically his. But he still had his temper.
"What the hell, Alison!?" He'd marched over to her with a scowl on his face. "We both agreed…"
"We did NOT agree. Not to those terms. And after what I saw of her this week I don't think she should EVER get out. Asking me to play with my friends' lives like that? She wanted them to lie! And when I told her no she went cold and then went on a tirade about killing them just to hurt me!"
Alison had seen the shift in her sister. A mask had dropped and she'd seen the true monster hidden in her soul. She had seen for the first time what her friends had always known.
Charlotte was beyond redemption. She was never going to get better.
The look on her sister's face was seared into Alison's mind. It sent shivers down her spine.
"She was scared!" Jason threw his arms in the air dramatically, a trait inherited from their mother.
"She didn't look scared when she was threatening our lives." Alison stood her ground.
"I can't believe you threw away our only shot at getting her out of there!" He was in her face, but she didn't move a muscle.
"She doesn't NEED to be out. She has been using us this whole time. She just wants to play her stupid game. She doesn't give a shit about us."
"Where is this coming from? You've been there with me every day for three years."
"And that was three years too long. We didn't think rationally going into this. You need to wake up, Jason." She had taken a step towards him.
He towered over her. His entire body was vibrating in anger.
"She is our SISTER." He'd hissed in her face.
"She's also a psychopath." Alison bit back.
He'd scoffed darkly, his brow tight and angry. The tendons in his neck were standing out and his muscles were bulging underneath his shirt.
"I guess it takes one to know one." He'd given her a smug smile.
Alison didn't even realize she was moving until her palm landed hard across his face, sending his head jerking to the side. Spittle flew out of his mouth.
He slowly arced his neck back to face her, fire in his eyes. She saw him ball his hand into a fist, and for a second she thought he was going to hit her back.
An angry red mark appeared on his face. It was certain to bruise.
"You would know, perv. You should be behind bars for filming underage girls without their consent. It's called child porn. And I haven't forgotten about it. Matter of fact…the statute of limitations doesn't apply. And I have proof."
"I was DRUNK!" He screamed, nearly frantic. "I don't remember most of that year."
"That's not a fucking excuse."
"You were a complete terror when you were sober…"
"And you're a pedophile."
He was breathing heavy through his nostrils, his fingers flexing into his fist.
"You destroyed this family." He reached up and rubbed where she'd smacked him while staring at her, expressionless. He exhaled a shaky breath. His next response was a calculated whisper. "Mom saved the right kid that night. You were better off dead. You should be the one rotting away in Welby."
The words had hurt worse than if he'd actually hit her. Was he really comparing her to Charlotte? He thought she was worse than Charlotte?
That was the instant Alison realized she was going to leave Rosewood. She had watched him storm off, stomping his feet, leaving her completely shell-shocked in the middle of their living room.
That was the moment Alison realized she was never going to have the family she wanted. She knew she had to leave if she had any hope of being normal.
That had been the last time she'd seen her brother. He hadn't reached out to her once. In fact his last words to her were, "I never want to see you again."
Alison stared at the house cloaked in darkness.
She slowly walked towards the front porch. All the lights were out. It didn't look like he was home, but she wasn't leaving until she found out.
She rapped on the door, her fist banging loudly in succession, but she didn't hear movement from anywhere inside.
She huffed and stared at the door, willing it to move.
"Well, fine. If you don't want to answer my questions…I'll find the answers myself." Even if she couldn't get Jason to talk to her, she could still find out what was going on with Charlotte. Surely he'd have paperwork somewhere in the house. Maybe even the invoices for Welby that could prove to her that her sister was still in the mental health facility and not running around free terrorizing her. She could have one less worry in the world.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys. She had kept the house key in case of an emergency, which was a good thing given that Jason had thrown her hidden keys out.
When she tried to push the key into the lock it didn't fit.
At first she thought she'd grabbed the wrong key by mistake, but she lifted the keychain and observed it.
It was definitely her old house key.
She blew on it…like it would do something that would magically fix it and then she tried again.
It didn't budge.
He'd changed the locks.
Fucking asshole.
She starting pounding on the door again.
"You can't ignore me forever, Jason!"
She angrily whipped her phone out and composed a text,
Where R U!? I am standing on our front porch. You changed the locks? Wtf is wrong with you? We need to talk.
She didn't expect a response, but she was still pissed that she didn't get one. She tried calling him, but it went straight to voicemail and then subsequently told her his voicemail was full.
She sucked in a gust of air, fully intending to scream at the top of her lungs, but then she realized the neighbors would look out the window and see crazy Alison DiLaurentis, maybe even video it and upload it online.
She had to keep her composure.
As she was slipping her phone back in her pocket the screen caught a reflection of something bright red.
A coat.
Blonde hair whipped in the breeze.
Not her mother.
Charlotte.
Alison could feel her pulse in her throat as she spun around.
A trace of a shadow disappeared, darting around the corner.
Alison hopped off the porch and ran towards the curve in the road.
"Charlotte!" She screamed.
She ran out into the road to get a more broad view of the neighborhood, but there was no trace of her sister…or anyone else around.
I'm losing my mind.
There was no way someone was that fast.
She knew she had to be imagining it, but she still raced towards where she'd seen redcoat go, around a curve in the road.
The wind carried a soft whisper her way.
"Alison."
She spun around, but didn't see anything.
She swore she could hear someone rattling her name into the breeze over and over. She slammed her palms over her ears, but she could still hear the whispers.
Why is this happening to me?
Every time she closed her eyes she saw shadowy figures dancing around her, taunting, reaching for her…calling out for her.
I'm not crazy.
I'm not crazy.
Please…stop.
STOP!
She blinked and the shadows were gone. She lowered her hands and searched for something she knew wasn't there.
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that didn't see the car coming until it was too late.
She stood frozen…helpless as it rounded the corner and careened towards her.
At the last second the driver swerved and skidded, but managed to avoid her and come to a stop in front of her.
The passenger's side window came down and a familiar face leaned out.
"Alison?"
It took a few seconds for Alison to register who it was.
"Aria?"
The door swung open and Aria rushed out of the car.
"Oh my God, are you okay?" The short brunette was by Alison's side an instant later.
The first thing Alison noticed was that she'd cropped her hair into stylish layers. It complimented her face.
"What are you doing in the middle of the road?" Aria assessed her for injuries.
"Chasing my sister" was on the tip of Alison's tongue, but she shook it off.
She might have imagined the whole thing. She was seeing Charlotte everywhere. And being back in Rosewood had probably just trudged up a bunch of unresolved feelings.
"I thought I saw someone from high school and I was trying to catch up." Alison managed to look into Aria's eyes and lie directly to her face. "I'm so sorry. No one is hurt, are they?" She looked towards the car.
A young man she recognized as Aria's boyfriend stepped out. She hadn't met him in person, but he'd been in the background of some of their FaceTimes.
"Yeah, we're fine. Good thing Liam was paying attention." She waved him over.
"She okay?" Liam jogged towards them.
"I'm fine. I'm so sorry." Alison apologized. "I have no idea what I was thinking."
I was thinking that my murderous bitch of a sister has broken free, murdered my brother, and is coming for us next.
But that couldn't be true. Because Welby would have had to alert Charlotte's victims.
"Being back here…" Aria glanced back at Alison's house in the distance. "It can mess with your mind."
The look on the shorter girl's face was one of a survivor fighting a dark battle in her head.
"Yeah." Alison gently touched her arm, but didn't say more.
She wasn't sure how much Liam knew about Aria's past. He knew she'd been groomed, but Alison wasn't sure what she'd shared with him beyond that.
Alison knew things about Aria that Aria didn't know about. Some of the things that the girls kept to themselves had come out when Emily had nightmares about the Dollhouse.
One night Emily had woken up crying and clutching the air for Aria, gasping about the fact that their tormentor had gagged Aria in a chair and forced the others to watch as the slender figure in all black ripped holes in her clothes and yank her out of the chair, disappearing with her down the hallway.
Emily was muttering about Aria being sedated in her room and how Charlotte would go in and mess with her appearance. Cut her hair and dyeing it pink. Dressing her in her old clothes.
She violated Aria against her consent by altering things about her. To anyone else, that might sound like child's play. But Alison knew what it did to someone's mind when their choices were ripped away from them. She understood that none of the girls would ever feel safe again.
Alison could only imagine that Aria had trouble sleeping because someone had played with her like a doll while she was drugged. After being groomed by Ezra and then having her body autonomy taken away from her in the Dollhouse it was a wonder she had been able to trust anyone again.
Charlotte had not only physically tortured them. She had psychologically scarred them.
Alison blinked, trying to brush past the tragedy. It was not her place to talk to Aria about it. If Aria wanted to talk, she would.
"Sure you're okay?" Aria shook Alison out of the dark recesses of her mind.
Alison nodded.
"Maybe we should call that doctor we saw at the coffee shop. The one who knew you? He could come check to be sure there's no shock or anything else." Liam's eyes skirted Alison for injuries.
"I'm fine." Alison waved him off. "What doctor?"
Aria made a face.
"Wren. He probably could be here in two minutes. Faster than an ambulance." They didn't like Wren as a person, but he was a really good physician.
"I'd just as soon take the ambulance. I prefer female physicians. Especially in this town," Alison replied bitterly.
She didn't want Wren's hands anywhere near her. Aria understood why, but Liam seemed surprised by the revelation. Aria probably hadn't told him much about Wren. The doctor wasn't really a part of her life. Not the way Ezra had been a part of her life.
From what Alison knew about Liam, he would despise Wren as much as he despised Ezra. He probably would have walked up to him in the café and punched him. He'd threatened to do that a time or two when Aria mentioned Ezra. And Aria told her that Liam had actually punched the man who groomed his little sister.
"Fair." Aria nodded. "He's weird. I don't really trust him if I'm being honest."
"Me either."
He'd always seemed really sketchy.
"Are you headed to Emily's?"
"Yeah." She smiled.
"Want a ride?" Liam asked.
"I don't want to impose…"
"It's on the way to my parent's place. Besides, do you think I'm just going to leave you in the street to get hit? Get your ass in the car." Aria tugged on her arm.
Alison gave in, following the couple back to the car.
"I'm Liam, by the way." Liam waved. "I know we met over FaceTime, but I'm a real live boy in the flesh."
He cringed the second he said it, but it made Alison laugh.
Sweet and dorky.
"Sorry, sometimes I say ridiculously cheesy things." He ran his fingers through his thick head of brown hair.
"Nice to officially meet you in person, Liam. I'm Alison." She smiled.
"See…we get out of our cave of solitude every so often." Aria linked her arm through Liam's.
"I didn't know you were in town." Alison glanced at Aria.
Liam pulled away from Aria and opened the back door for Alison.
Polite.
He seemed like a good guy.
"We've been on the road scouting places for the book tour. We were in Philadelphia and decided to drive in for Thanksgiving." Before Aria could reach for her door, Liam reached for it.
She smiled at him.
Alison saw them exchange a sweet expression. Aria had a twinkle in her olive-green eyes.
Good. Aria deserves to be happy.
"How is the scouting going?" Alison asked, pulling her door shut as Aria climbed in the front seat.
"Not bad." Aria smiled at her in the rearview mirror. She glanced at Alison's house again through the back windshield. "Were you visiting Jason?"
"I was trying to, but he's not home." Alison checked her appearance in the rearview mirror, trying to make sure she didn't look rattled.
Then again if she looked rattled it would be perfectly normal since she'd nearly been bowled over by a car.
"Do you know if Spencer has heard from him lately?" Alison asked.
Alison knew that Spencer and Jason talked on occasion. But not very often, and usually only about donations for her mother's campaign. Jason was a big donor, which was ironic given that Spencer's dad had an affair with Alison's mother, which resulted in Jason being born. He was part Hastings. Spencer's half-brother.
Despite the lack of love Jason had for Spencer's dad…his biological dad who had never wanted a place in his life...Jason actually liked Spencer's mom and supported her campaign. The campaign focused on a wide array of things, but support and equal rights for the LGTBQ community was one of the biggest parts.
"No. Not in a while." Aria shook her head. "The last time Spence mentioned him was before this last election cycle. I think he's more of a silent donor at this point."
He's a silent everything at this point. Alison thought bitterly.
The irony of a Hastings bastard child donating to the woman whose husband had stepped out on her was not lost on Alison. But it would have been a political nightmare for the Senator, especially given that Jason stayed in Rosewood with Charlotte. That would have only complicated things further.
Then again, the media could spin anything the way they wanted it. They probably would have used Charlotte as a political pawn. A poor young trans child abandoned by her hateful parents leading to the decline of her mental health.
It might have even led to her getting out. Alison shuddered to think about that.
It had fortunately not come out in the campaign. They had paid a lot of money so that it didn't.
The drive to Emily's took less than two minutes.
"You want to come in?" Alison asked when they pulled into the Fields' driveway. "Emily and Pam ran to the store, but they shouldn't be long. I'm sure Emily would love to see you."
"I would, but we're meeting my parents for dinner." Aria gnawed on her lip.
Alison couldn't tell if it was anxiety or excitement.
"I'm sorry I kept you." Alison unbuckled her belt.
"It's okay." Liam smiled. He was handsome in a geeky kind of way. He seemed charming. Alison understood why Aria was with him. "Besides…" He added. "Despite almost hitting you, this little detour helped calm my nerves about dinner with the future in-laws…"
He clasped his mouth shut as Aria glanced over at him.
So the little lip bite from Aria was both anxiety and excitement.
"Which was supposed to be a secret…" He smacked his head with his palm.
"You're engaged?" Alison squealed, bouncing in happiness.
Aria turned back with a sheepish smile on her face.
"Yeah. We haven't announced it yet because we want our parents to be the first to know." She peered at Alison through the opening in the seats.
"I promise not to tell a soul." Alison mimed zipping her lips shut. "Congratulations!"
"Thanks." Aria's pale complexion turned a cherry shade of red. "We know we're moving fast. We're taking our time with the engagement. We're not in a rush to the altar."
"I just wanted to buy her something shiny." Liam flashed a grin at Aria.
She blushed.
"When you're ready, I would love to hear the full story." Alison clapped her hands together in excitement.
"Definitely." Aria nodded enthusiastically. "Tell Em and her mom we said hello."
"We're doing dinner tomorrow night with a few people. Hanna and Caleb will be there. I'm sure you two would be more than welcome. I can ask about you two joining us." Alison paused at the door. "I can even check with Emily's mom and find out what dishes are vegan."
"That might actually be nice. My family is sticking to being non-traditionalists. We're doing breakfast. My dad and Mike already have plans for the afternoon. Some sports thing." Aria rolled her eyes with a laugh. "I think it would be fun for us and my mom to come. Don't worry about the food though. I have a feeling that my parents are going to feed us pretty well. Mom has gone all out with the tofu and chickpeas this year."
Alison wanted to make a quip about Aria eating rabbit food, but she didn't want to be insensitive. She'd said some terrible things to the girls in the past. She didn't know how to joke with them sometimes.
Liam cut in with a laugh on Alison's behalf.
"I promise I feed her more than just squirrel food." He had an easy-going smile.
Aria laughed and playfully popped him in the shoulder.
Alison loved seeing her friend be so free…so happy.
"I'll call you after I talk to Emily's mom." Alison waved.
"Sounds good." Aria nodded. "And hey, Alison…" She called as Alison turned towards the house. "Don't play in traffic again, okay?"
Alison chuckled softly, trying to hide her anxiety.
Oh, Aria…if you only knew the reason I was in the middle of the road…
She waved to her friend and walked up the front porch steps.
Emily had given her a key in case she made it back before they did. And given how insane the store was because of the holiday, she was pretty sure she had beat them back.
Unlike the key to her old house, Emily's house key actually worked.
The house was quiet. She closed the door and locked it behind her.
There was a creaking noise and she spun around, ready to throw a punch. But no one was waiting in the shadows. It was only the house settling.
Even so, she didn't feel like she was alone.
I'm being paranoid.
"I hope that's just you saying hello, Mr. Fields," she uttered under her breath.
She didn't particularly believe in the paranormal, but she liked that explanation better than the idea of her criminally insane sister on the loose.
Alison peered up the stairs, listening for movement. She'd learned on the run you could never underestimate potential danger.
Once she was satisfied that Charlotte wasn't waiting to jump out of Emily's shower at her, she made her way up the stairs and into Emily's bathroom.
It smelled like her. Her cocoa butter body wash. Her coconut shampoo.
It was comforting.
Alison ripped the shower curtain aside just to satisfy her anxiety. Then she faced herself in the mirror.
The girl staring back at her looked like a blank canvass. A cold empty shell. Just like her mother. Just like her sister.
Jason's words from the past haunted her.
"Takes one to know one…"
"I'm not like them." Alison raised her chin, trying to exude confidence to herself. "I'm not like them." She repeated.
She took several deep breaths.
Her doppelganger's motions matched her own, but she didn't see the self-confidence that she showed to her millions of followers daily.
Her life online was a lie.
Her real life was messy.
But anyone could sell a fake smile. Content could easily be curated and fabricated.
She preferred the lie.
Because the truth was that she was starting to wonder if her brother had been right. Maybe she did belong in Welby.
How else could she explain seeing Charlotte?
She buried herself in the false security that her socials gave her, engaging with her fans. Answering comments and going back and forth with them.
It calmed her down.
When Emily and her mother got home later, Alison plastered on the fake smile that she used to fool people every day.
"You survived The Thanksgiving Hunger Games, I see." Alison opened the door when she heard Emily's mom pulling the car up.
She walked out to help them, but there were only two bags and Emily had them both.
"People are absolutely wild during the holidays." Pam looked like she'd just served two tours overseas.
"I saw a woman throw a can of yams at a guy who was trying to take the last of the green beans." Emily hauled the bags out of the car and walked towards Alison. "How was your walk?"
"It was a bust. Jason wasn't home." She shrugged.
She thought about nearly being hit by a car. She wasn't sure she wanted to tell Emily the truth. So she just brought up the important bits and pieces.
"I actually ran into Aria and her boyfriend though…" Alison almost slipped up and said fiancé, but she managed to cover it. "Apparently they're doing a Thanksgiving breakfast together. They aren't sure what they're doing for dinner…"
She left the hint out there. She didn't want to step on Emily's mother's toes.
Pam lighted up, delighted with the idea of inviting them over.
"Oh, I hope you invited them to join us!" She took one of the bags from Emily and rushed towards the door, like the cooking couldn't wait a few minutes.
"I said I would ask. I didn't want to just assume…"
"I think it's a wonderful idea. I'll call Ella." Pam put the groceries on the counter and started rustling in her purse for her cell phone.
She had a crazy amount of energy. Emily knew she was just doing everything possible not to face the fact that it was going to be the first Thanksgiving they were celebrating without Wayne.
"You want me to put the groceries away?" Emily asked.
"No. I'm going to get started on the deviled eggs as soon as I get off the phone. I won't be long. You girls go relax." She waved them out of her kitchen.
"Are you sure you don't need help with anything?" Alison offered a polite smile.
"Ali, 'go relax' is code for 'get out of my kitchen so I can work on my craft'." Emily grabbed her arm with a smile and pulled her towards the living room.
"Oh." Alison laughed.
She liked that she was being let in on the family secrets.
"Come on." Emily moved towards the stairs. "I feel like I need a shower after that visit to the store. People were ruthless. I'm pretty sure even my mom was thinking about elbowing a woman in the face for blocking the eggs."
Alison followed her up the stairs. She wondered if she needed to bring up what she'd seen…or rather what she thought she'd seen at her house.
She'd talked to Emily about her fears that she was losing her mind before. Emily assured her there was nothing wrong with her. But things were getting worse. She was getting worse.
But instead of focusing on herself, she thought about the woman flitting around in the kitchen, still grieving her life partner.
"How is she?" Alison a sked once Emily closed the bedroom door.
Emily walked over and plopped down against the edge of her bed, tugging her shoes off. Normally she kicked them off at the door, but she'd been too preoccupied with the groceries in her hands.
"She's in complete denial." Emily rubbed her temple and shook her head. "She even said something about how he'd missed some Thanksgivings while he was overseas."
"That's…technically accurate though, isn't it?" Alison sat next to her.
"I don't know. I feel like she's just walking around pretending that he's still out there…that any minute he could walk through the door. She's making a couple of his favorite dishes. Dishes that neither one of us really like…"
"That could be her way of honoring him. And besides…maybe everyone else will like it. I'll try whatever it is." The blonde offered a tiny smile.
Emily turned towards her. She reached up…her nimble fingertips gently raking Alison's cheek, turning Alison so they were facing. She offered her a soft peck on the lips and smiled at her.
"You're a really good person." Emily muttered against her lips before pulling back.
Alison nearly choked on her laughter.
"I'm not, but thank you for saying that."
"No, I mean it." Emily gripped her hand. "I've known it since the day on the beach. You remind me every day that anything is possible. Your support means everything to me. Especially here." She sighed. "After my dad died it felt like the whole world had lost all of its color. There have been moments where I feel completely alone, but you have always been there for me…bringing the color back into my life."
Alison's face flushed. She was touched to hear Emily say it. She had been working so hard on being a good partner.
"The words will never lose the meaning for me. I love you." Emily traced her fingers up against Alison's arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
"I love you, too." Alison smiled.
"Sorry Jason wasn't there. We can try again later. I'll help you stalk him. We don't have to leave this town without answers." Emily gave Alison's hand a squeeze.
"I don't know if he's here. He might be out of town. But I have no idea where he would go. Plus, it's hard to believe he'd leave Charlotte alone on the holidays…" The second she uttered the name she felt Emily physically tense up. "Sorry, I…"
"No. It's fine." Emily brushed it off. "Residual PTSD. I know you're going through a lot right now. And I know it's her fault. I hate her even more for that. Is there anything I can do to help?"
Alison sadly shook her head.
Emily took a moment to read Alison's expression. She could see a hint of something behind her icy blue eyes.
"Did something else happen you're not telling me about?"
Damn, she's good.
Emily had always been able to pinpoint Alison's emotions. She was the only person who knew her inside and out. She was the only person Alison let see her inside and out.
Alison bit her lip. She didn't want to admit that she was seeing things. Instead she focused on almost being hit by a car.
"I got a little spooked because I wasn't paying attention when I was crossing the road earlier." She tried to maintain eye contact so Emily wouldn't ask questions. "That's actually how I ran into Aria and Liam. I wasn't paying attention to traffic."
"Are you okay?" Emily laid her palm against Alison's shoulder and gently moved it down, checking for bumps and bruises.
"Yeah. Liam aced his defensive driving courses. Not a scratch on me." She smiled.
Except the mental war my psycho sister is waging against me.
"I didn't want you to worry." Alison touched Emily's knee. "You have enough on your plate."
"You really have to stop downplaying what's going on with you." Emily frowned in disapproval. "You're always telling me to talk about my feelings. I want you to do the same."
"You're right." Alison didn't argue. "To be fair though, I didn't want to say anything in front of your mom. It was kind of embarrassing. I mean…we learn in kindergarten not to cross the street without looking."
"Did something distract you?"
Alison wanted Emily to let it go, but her little detective always asked for the intricate details.
"Uh…yeah…actually." Alison hated lying to Emily. She wanted to tell her she'd seen her sister, but she knew that wasn't real. "I thought I recognized someone from high school. A teacher. But it was just an old woman getting her mail." She tried to laugh it off. "Really…the whole thing scared Aria and Liam more than it did me." She took a quiet breath. "I should actually probably call Aria. I told her I'd let her know about dinner tomorrow."
She reached for her phone.
Emily stared at her in uncertainty.
"Ali…" She put her hand over Alison's, lowering her phone. "Just don't be afraid to talk to me if you need to."
"Of course." Alison pushed herself to her feet.
She cast a nervous glance at the brunette and then rushed out of the room with her phone. She stood in the hallway waiting until she heard the shower cut on.
Then she raced down the stairs and out on to the front porch.
She started pacing.
"I'm not crazy." Her breath came out in heated puffs in the chilling air. "I am not losing my mind. I'm okay."
She sat down on the porch swing and pulled up Aria's number. She sent her a text to let her know about Pam's invite, which she was certain she already knew about because Pam had already talked to Ella.
As she swayed on the swing she wondered how many memories Emily had of sitting in this very spot with her father.
Alison wasn't sure what that was like…having loving parents. Spending time with her mother had always felt like a chore. She didn't have any real genuine memories with her mom.
Sometimes she wondered if it was possible to grieve someone who had never truly loved her.
Then she realized what a silly thought it was to have.
She might not have been as close to her parents as Emily was to her dad, but she still loved them. Sitting out on Emily's porch reminded her that she'd never had many tender moments with her mom.
She remembered the hugs. The kisses. The I love yous.
Alison had always felt vulnerable and alone.
She rubbed her knees intensely before standing up and starting to pace again.
She couldn't stop thinking about how haunted she'd felt staring at the spot where her mother had been buried.
The grave followed her everywhere she went. Demons chased her whether she was in Rosewood or California. The dead never died as long as the living were around.
Alison put her phone down against the swing and rubbed her eyes with the balls of her hands.
She thought about how far she had come in the last six months…and how scared she was of losing it all.
She knew she was becoming unhinged. She'd nearly been hit by a car chasing someone who wasn't there.
The texts and calls had unleashed something that had been lying dormant in her.
She picked up her phone again and stared absentmindedly at her screen. She had become so attached to the little device. She never went anywhere without it. Somewhere along the line she had forgotten that technology had nearly destroyed her life…her friends' lives.
Alison pulled up her chat screen and opened the thread of texts between her and Emily, scrolling up until she found the messages that they'd exchanged the night Emily had swooped in and come to her rescue after that horrible Airbnb party.
She read through a few of them.
She tapped on the screen to continue the conversation. She wasn't sure what possessed her to text Emily instead of going inside to talk to her. She was probably finishing up with her shower. Alison could have easily walked through the front door and up the stairs to Emily's room, but she sent her a text instead.
Going for a walk. Need to clear my head.
She laid her phone back down on the swing and stared at the street, trying to figure out where she wanted to go.
She stood up, forgetting to grab the very device that had been in her hands just seconds beforehand.
Then she walked off the porch and started down the road.
There wasn't much daylight left. It would be night soon. She wanted to try and make sense of things before the darkness set in.
Her thoughts and her fears were formless, but if she thought about them it made them solid. Real.
Crazy.
Once words had a weight to them they were crushing.
Crazy just like Charlotte.
She wanted to talk to Emily, but she also didn't want to add to the brunette's grief. The death of her father was still very fresh and she was carrying a lot on her shoulders.
After a brisk walk she was standing in her old driveway staring at her house.
She scowled into the dark abyss looking back at her. She flicked her wrist and raised her middle finger. With any luck, Jason hadn't disabled the security cameras.
You can't ignore me when I'm right here telling you to fuck off.
She meandered down to the property line, stopping only briefly to observe where her mother had been found almost four years ago.
Four years.
Had it really been that long? It felt like only yesterday.
She had stood in the very same spot, hiding in the shadows. Devastated, but too shocked to cry.
As she stared into the distance the silhouette of her mother's ghost appeared.
This time Alison turned away and quickly scurried along the property line until she got to the entrance of the woods.
She walked through the towering trees. The leaves and brush crunched underneath her feet as she followed the familiar path to the only place in Rosewood where she felt completely at ease.
The woods became more dense, the path narrowing. If she didn't know the trail by heart she would have turned around. But she knew there was an opening ahead. The longer she walked the more sparse the trees became…until she came to a clearing.
The large boulder covered in scribbled letters was still there, exactly how she remembered it. The small trickling river below was echoing in the trees.
Alison stopped when she reached the rock, searching for four letters. When she saw them she smiled.
AD & EF
She climbed up on the rock and sat down. The cold hard surface cut through her pants and into her skin, but she didn't mind the chill.
A gentle breeze rolled her way, stirring the trees to life.
She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them for warmth.
The remaining sunlight flickered through the tops of the bare trees.
It reminded her of her youth.
Most people thought high school was a much simpler time as they aged. But her life had always been complicated.
She contemplated the life she'd had back then. If she had stopped for one minute to realize that the world didn't revolve around her she could have had four amazing friends and a sweet caring girlfriend.
She had been so scared to let the mask slip. In her family kindness was mistaken for weakness.
She had spent her time trying to impress the wrong people when she had the world in front of her the entire time.
She watched as the light slowly faded from the sky, trying not to be cynical about the fact that it was a metaphor for the fact that she had traded the light for the dark back then.
No wonder the shadows of her past haunted her.
She had gotten so caught up in being Queen Alison DiLaurentis, Malibu Barbie, that she'd repressed things she needed to deal with.
She felt the air getting cooler, the temperature dipping as the time passed, but she was so lost in her mind that she didn't register it.
It wasn't until she heard a twig snap that she came back to life.
She froze…her fight or flight kicking in.
This was an incredibly stupid idea.
Coming out to the woods when someone was calling her and threatening her?
What was I thinking?
"Alison?"
She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed when she heard the soft familiar voice.
Emily stepped into the clearing, her hands buried in her jacket pockets. Her hair was freshly dried and fell languidly over her shoulders.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." The brunette walked up next to her.
Before Alison could respond, Emily was taking her jacket off and wrapping it around her shoulders.
Gallant Emily.
"How'd you know I was here?" Alison extended her legs, letting her knees breathe for the first time since she'd curled up on the rock.
"Where else would you go?" Emily asked. "When we were younger we always came here when we were lost. We came here when we needed each other before we could explain why we needed each other."
She scooted next to Alison.
"Astute observation." She leaned against Emily, letting her body heat warm her.
"Astute?" Emily chuckled.
"I am more than a pretty blonde bombshell." Alison winked.
"Oh, believe me…I know." The way Emily's lips twitched when she thought about their bodies being intertwined would never get old.
Emily wrapped her arm around Alison's shoulders.
"I got a little worried when you didn't come back. Mom found your phone on the porch. The alerts for your socials were going nuts."
"It's been kind of a nice break from the constant noise." Alison admitted.
Emily nodded, observing her, searching her eyes for something Alison didn't quite understand. After a few seconds, the brunette pursed her lips and cocked her head.
"So…what's up?" Emily put her hand on Alison's knee. "What's got you so scared that you can't talk to me?"
Alison stared at her for a minute, saying nothing. Emily saw a plethora of emotions in her eyes. Sadness. Fear. Worry. Anger. And the immense amount of love they shared.
She feigned a smile.
"Nothing. I'm just engaging in self-destructive thoughts."
"Why? Because of the phone calls?" Emily rarely missed a beat.
But it wasn't just the phone calls. It was the fact that her mind was playing tricks on her.
She took a breath, slowly inhaling the cool evening air. The sounds around her faded. The trees stopped whispering. The river became white noise. Even the sound of her own breath was gone. It was all silent.
Her surroundings faded and in the shadows she saw two figures.
The girl in the bright red coat.
And her mother.
Two people she had loved.
Two people who had destroyed her.
"Hey…where'd you go?" Warmth flooded her cheek, Emily's palm cupping her face.
It reminded Alison of the last time they'd come out here. But her touch meant something completely different now.
"Do you believe in hell on Earth?" Alison bit her lip and slowly made eye contact. Emily seemed startled by the question. "Do you think we're punished while we're here?"
"Do you think you're being punished?" Emily asked in confusion.
"If not then that just leaves one other option." Alison took a shallow breath. Her voice came out meek, quiet. She didn't recognize the sound of it at all. "I think I'm going crazy, Em."
"What?"
"You remember how I told you a while ago that I'm seeing Charlotte everywhere I go?"
"Oh." Emily's eyes flickered like a lightbulb had just gone off in her head. Not just turned on, but exploded. "God, of course. I'm going to guess being back has been triggering."
"It's more than that." Alison's eyes were vague and unfocused, like she was staring through the world rather than at it. "I…I saw her. At my house today." She swallowed a lump in her throat. "She was there, but then she wasn't. And then I heard her voice. Even when I covered my ears I heard her voice."
Emily wrapped Alison up in her arms and kissed the top of her head.
"I should be the one comforting you right now…" Alison muttered into her sweatshirt.
"I know how hard it is being back," Emily said quietly. "It's only natural that the lines of reality are blurring. I mean…hell, I thought I saw my dad at the store today standing in the cereal aisle."
Alison pulled back to look at her.
"Really?"
"Really." Emily nodded. "But then I saw his reflection and I realized that he was a she…and she wasn't looking at cereal. She was looking at health bars. She was a twenty-year-old Puerto Rican woman. Looked absolutely nothing like my dad. My brain just…misfired." She rubbed Alison's back. "Sometimes we get so lost in a memory that we see it."
"This was more than just a memory." She was almost ashamed to admit it. Vulnerability scared her. "I keep seeing things and having these dreams. And it's like reality is splitting and it's so loud. I put on a smile for the camera and people eat it up. I've gotten so good at acting that I think I've started to fool myself. I never dealt with any of my shit. I just used it to gain a following. But I think a part of me is missing. Like I'm incomplete. My mother buried me alive. My father abandoned me. My sister tried to kill my best friends. And my brother hates me and refuses to return my calls. Everyone leaves me." She sighed. "Why am I so easy to leave?"
Emily felt the blonde's heartbreak reverberating in her soul. She knew that Alison had abandonment issues. She also knew how hard it was for her to talk about those abandonment issues. She had encountered a lot of kids at the LGBTQ Alliance who suffered the same pain…whose parents abruptly stopped loving them and left them.
"Oh, Ali…" She didn't know what else to do, so she just engulfed her in a hug and held her. Alison wrapped her arms around her, embracing Emily's love. "I know I can't fix the past for you, but I can promise you that I will never leave you again."
When they separated Alison reached up to wipe her tears away from her cheeks.
"I think maybe I should see someone about these thoughts and hallucinations. It's not normal to have them so much."
"We can do whatever you want to do." Emily dipped her head down and rubbed her thumb against the corner of Alison's eye to wipe away a blob of mascara caught on her eyelashes.
"I'm afraid that if I do go see someone they're just going to confirm that I am actually losing my mind. Will you still love me if I'm crazy?"
"There is nothing wrong with you." Emily stroked her arm.
"Mental health issues run in my family…"
"You are not your mother. And you sure as hell are not your sister." Emily's forehead crinkled. She spoke with a heated conviction.
"But I was though…in high school. I didn't care. All I could see was myself. What if that switch inside of me flips back to that girl?"
"It won't." Emily reached for Alison's hands, clasping them in hers.
It was only when Alison felt the warmth of Emily's fingers that she realized how cold she was. It was only when she felt Emily's soft silky lips move against hers that she realized how dry and chapped hers were from the wind.
Emily pecked her lips and then her cheek.
"I know you better than anyone, Ali. I always have. And I see you. You have such an amazing capacity for love. It's always been in you. You were just too scared to show it."
"You did always see the good in me. Even when it wasn't there." The look of fear dissipated from her face.
"It was always there." Emily peered into her eyes…into her soul.
Alison was impressed with how deeply into her soul that Emily's gentle brown eyes had seen.
"I think I have you to thank for that." Alison lifted her hand and pushed Emily's hair away from her face. "When I look at you…when I look into your eyes I want to be the girl that you see. You have always brought out the best in people. Because you look at them with this…hope. It reminds me of something that a German poet said. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of being."
"Johann Wolfgang van Goethe. My dad was a fan." A smile, then a fleeting moment of grief.
"Small world." Alison leaned in for a chaste kiss.
Emily wrapped her arm around Alison's shoulders again and pulled her close.
Alison leaned into her.
They sat in a comfortable silence and listened to the sounds of their past. The days of the spirits pushing them together when they were teenagers were long gone. They were together because they loved each other.
By the time they got back to Emily's house it was dark out. Alison still had Emily's coat wrapped around her when they walked through the front door.
The smell of spices permeated the air. Pam had been hard at work for the get-together tomorrow.
Emily's eyes landed on her father's chair. She thought about what Alison said about having a piece of herself missing. It had stirred something loose inside of her mind.
She knew she couldn't get through Thanksgiving without her father, which only left one option.
She needed to take the advice that she was giving her girlfriend.
She had to face it.
Tonight was about Alison, but in the morning she needed to do what her mother had been trying to get her to do: visit her dad's grave.
The brunette barely slept that night. Partly because she was watching to make sure Alison wasn't being haunted by her demons and partly because she was anxious about visiting her father.
Emily didn't expect for Alison's ghosts to follow her to the graveyard the next morning.
But that's exactly what happened.
She got up early, letting Alison know that she was going for a jog.
The blonde had murmured out a "be careful" before falling back asleep.
When Emily finally reached the graveyard she stared at the entrance for nearly ten minutes before forcing herself to walk through the gates.
She heard a twig snap and saw a dark-haired man with scrubs on walking towards the exit. Emily couldn't be sure, but it looked like Wren.
What is he doing here? Who does he have to visit?
His family was in the UK. She assumed after he told her his parents were dead that they'd been buried there.
The fact that he was in his scrubs reminded her that he dealt with life and death every day. It dawned on her that he might be visiting a patient.
Probably a 16-year-old girl he never got the chance to try and kiss. She thought hatefully.
He disappeared into the parking lot and Emily heard the engine of his car start and then fade in the distance.
No more distractions.
She couldn't afford to get side-tracked. She had come to the grave for a purpose.
It took her another ten minutes to meander over to her dad's grave.
She touched the top of the marble headstone.
"Hi, dad." Her fingers traced his name etched in stone. "There is so much going on that I don't know where to start."
She knew that it was going to be difficult to contain her emotions, but she wasn't prepared for what came pouring out of her.
She could already feel herself crumbling beneath the weight of her pain. Heated tears filled her eyes.
"I wish you were here." When she blinked her vision became blurry and wet. "I always thought you would be here when I needed you. I think I took it for granted that you would always be around for me to talk to." She stared at his headstone. "I don't know what to do. Everything is screwed up." She wiped her cheeks. "So screwed up. I'm failing in school and…in life. I can't help Alison deal with what whatever the hell is going on with her sister…" It felt like a sin to curse and to mention Charlotte on sacred ground. "I just…I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to fix everything, but I can't do that until I fix myself. And I can't fix myself. I'm broken."
Emotions swelled in her chest. She dropped heavily next to the grave. The ground was hard and ridged with clumps of cold dirt.
"It wasn't supposed to happen like this. You were supposed to see me grow up. You were supposed to see me graduate. You…you were supposed to walk me down the aisle and to play with your grandkids. I don't understand how this happened. I don't understand…"
She thought of Alison's words from the night before.
"Why am I so easy to leave?"
"Why did you leave me, dad?" She lowered her hand, her palm against his headstone. "It's not fair." Her breath came out as a whimper. "I am so fucking mad at you." She quietly cried, allowing herself to feel everything she had compartmentalized, allowing herself to be angry. "You were supposed to be here with us today. You were supposed to help me with my struggles. You said you were always going to be here if I needed you. And I really fucking need you."
She could feel the overflow of her tears backing up in her sinuses. Her nose started to run, mixing with the wet mess on her face.
She reached up to wipe her sleeve across her face.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw movement.
When she looked up she saw a woman in the distance in a bright red coat. Her face was buried beneath the hood of the coat as her head hang forward. Tendrils of blonde hair occluded the rest of her face. She was wearing a pair of black designer hiking boots and black leather gloves. She had something in her hands. A small black bag.
Emily's mouth suddenly felt very dry. Her tears dried as the sobering realization hit her.
Alison hadn't been seeing things.
Charlotte.
It infuriated her.
Charlotte was playing the game again.
Emily leaped to her feet, prompting the blonde to turn and run, darting through the graveyard.
Like Alison the day before, Emily followed, sprinting after her. Murderous thoughts were rushing through her mind.
The bitch had been torturing Alison for months. And now she had the audacity to listen to her very vulnerable private moments with her father? It felt horribly invasive. Then again, that was exactly what Charlotte did. Stole pieces of their soul.
She had nearly caught up with her and was reaching out for the hood of the jacket when the blonde took a sharp unexpected turn.
Emily didn't have enough time to stop as the ground shifted beneath her. She saw the wide open chasm and did everything she could to avoid it.
But in the end, she had too much momentum. She ripped through the yellow caution tape.
The last thing she saw as she dropped down was the large mound of dirt next to the hole.
Then she was falling and her mind was spinning and she was back in the Dollhouse.
Back in the water well.
Drowning.
Trapped.
Choking.
She braced for the impact of the landing, knowing that the soil would be hard from the cold. She managed to twist hard enough so that she could partially catch herself, landing halfway on her side and halfway on her hands and feet. She rolled with the momentum and ended up on her back, staring up into the sky in shock.
"Stop!"
"I can't breathe. I can't…"
Water in her lungs.
Dying in a hole.
She slammed her eyes shut and pushed it away. She knew she needed to focus. For all she knew Charlotte was getting some industrial machine to bury her.
She stumbled to her feet and clutched at the wall of dirt. It was probably close to eight feet deep. When she raised her arms to see if it was possible to try and reach the edge to climb out there was about a foot and a half above her fingers.
The grave was too deep to climb out of. It was just out of her reach.
She could hear the sounds of her harsh breath and watched as it came out heated and spiraled into a fog in the cold air.
She took a shaky breath, trying to calm her nerves.
"Way to start Thanksgiving," she uttered under her breath.
She slapped her hand against her pockets, searching for her phone. She pulled it out and hit the speed dial, hoping Alison was awake.
After three rings she heard the groggy blonde.
"Mmm…morning."
There was a rustling sound on the other end, Alison rolling over in bed.
"Hey." Emily's breathing was ragged and uneven.
Alison shot up in bed, recognizing that she was in distress.
"What's wrong?"
"Don't panic." Emily glanced up at the sky.
"Emily, you're scaring me…"
"Listen…Ali…what you said yesterday about Charlotte…" Emily huffed into the phone, "You're not crazy."
Her heart was pounding in her chest. Her shoulder ached from the landing.
She had to pause and take a breath to try and calm her nerves.
After a beat she swallowed and whispered into the phone,
"I saw her, too."
A/N: You didn't think the holidays were going to be all sweet and no spice, did you? The game is afoot. And the stakes have never been higher.
It's been fun getting back to Rosewood's roots, though it looks a little different this time around! Toby and Alison getting along. Hanna and Caleb and their never-ending love for their cat (the airline story is based on a real story I saw on Twitter). Emily and her mother bonding over grocery shopping...lol. Alison facing her demons...with attitude. THE KISSING ROCK! Emily FINALLY getting her emotions out only to be interrupted by redcoat. Rude.
What kind of Thanksgiving are we in for here?