Chapter 4
Rebuilding the School
Rebuilding Our Psyches
The Song for this Chapter is Overwhelmed by Royal & The Serpent
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The song for Theo & Draco's interlude at then end is
Silence by Marshmello
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1st group:
Draco Malfoy
Neville Longbottom
Hermione Granger
Theodore Nott
Pansy Parkinson
Blaise Zabini
Dean Thomas
Hannah Abbott
Luna Lovegood
Susan Bones
2nd group:
Seamus Finnegan
Greg Goyle
Michael Corner
Cormac McLaggen
Parvati Patil
Padma Patil
Ernie McMillan
Millicent Bulstrode
Terry Boot
Cho chang
3rd Group
Dennis Creevey
Justin Finch-Fletchley
Zacharias Smith
Hestia Carrow
Flora Carrow
Romilda Vane
Nigel Wolpert
Malcolm Baddock
Jimmy Peakes
Tracey Davis
4th Group
Terry Skeres
Gwendoline Hedgeflower
Leanne Riordan
Maisie Cattermole
Dirk Cresswell, Jr.
Davis Cresswell
Archie Alderton
Harper Silvanus
Aethel Rowle
Eurydice Thorinn
The scrolls were posted outside the doors to the Great Hall and a small crowd had gathered to see which group they were with. Hermione was horribly unsurprised to see herself in the same group as Malfoy, Theo and Pansy Parkinson. It figured. At least Dean, Neville and Luna would be in the group, as well as Susan and Hannah. Hermione wondered how the groups had been divided up; there seemed to be a disproportionate number of Slytherins in her group, but she supposed that they would tell them at this first morning session.
No one seemed much interested in breakfast. A few people who filtered into the hall grabbed muffins or fruit and were making their way out toward the quad where the groups were to be held. Four large chalk circles had been drawn on the paved ground. The four mind healers stood in a row and greeted the students kindly and directed them to the circle for their group.
Hermione stood staring at the circle and wondered if she shouldn't have had some more coffee before coming down from the Heads Dorm. She had fallen asleep in the chair by the fire with Crooks purring away. When she had woken up, Malfoy and Crooks had been gone and the green blanket had been tucked around her. The light of the dawn had just been trickling in the windows of the common room and the fire was out. There was no sign of anyone else awake nor of the bottle of fire whiskey, so Hermione folded up the blanket and left it on the chair. Once she had headed back to her room, she had written three letters before getting dressed.
Ron,
I am back at Hogwarts. Hope you are well.
Hermione
Harry and Ginny,
So far things are well. The Head Boy is Theo Nott, so far no complaints on sharing the dorm. He's been very polite. Had dinner with Neville, Dean and Seamus. Hope you are both well. Write soon!
Hermione
Her final longer letter was to her parents, care of the Australian DMLE, and detailed the trip to Hogwarts, her status as head girl, and a thorough description of her new dormitory. She signed it with all her love and sealed all three letters and put them in her knapsack to take to the owlery after group therapy. She was pretty sure that continuing to write to Ron put her in some category of pathetic ex-girlfriend. Even though she had been somewhat grateful that he had broken up with her, she was loath to let their friendship go. Maybe he would reply this time.
Now Hermione wondered whether the time spent writing wouldn't have been better spent getting another hour of sleep in her actual bed. Well it wouldn't be the first time she had to function on little to no sleep.
Neville was already in the circle chatting with Dean, Seamus and Hannah. They all smiled when they saw her approach and waved. She reluctantly made her way over to them, not certain how well she was going to be able to hold a conversation. Dean took one look at Hermione and subtly handed her a Pepper-Up potion. She raised her eyebrow at him and he winked, moving back to Seamus' side and continued the discussion about their plans to go to Hogsmeade that weekend.
Hermione turned her back, opened the potion bottle, closed her eyes and gulped down the contents. When she opened them she saw the blue twinkling eyes of Theo Nott looking down at her as the invigorating brew made her skin tingle. Good Godric, he was tall.
"Good morning Hermione," Theo said grinning mischievously, which showed off his dimple. " Long night?"
"Extremely early morning, actually," Hermione said, flatly, not sure how to interact with the Head Boy in the light of day with all her Gryffindor friends looking on.
"Now, now don't be that way Princess. I just wanted to walk down with you this morning and imagine my sorrow when I discovered that you had already gone," Theo said dramatically, "I was so forlorn walking alone."
"You are ridiculous," Hermione said, smiling at his melodrama, "what about your overnight company, why couldn't they walk you?"
"Well Draco was gone before I woke up this morning and Pansy ran down to the dungeon while I was getting dressed so I had to travel this great distance all alone." He was smiling at her with his dimple showing and his blue eyes glimmering and Hermione couldn't help but be aware of how handsome he was. He was wearing another one of those fitted black Muggle t-shirts. This one just had a picture of a burning tree on the front. His black denims looked like they had been painted on. She snapped her gaze back up to his face and he was grinning at her like he had noticed her lapse.
"Does Malfoy do that often? Disappear?" Hermione asked to try to distract herself from ogling her co-Head. She looked to see if any of the Gryffindors noticed that she had wandered away from them to talk with her Slytherin roommate. No one seemed to be paying attention.
"More often than I'd like, but he's always been a broody one," Theo said. "Hopefully he and Pansy turn up soon." He looked up at the steady flow of people coming out from the castle.
"Hey there beautiful," Theo shouted, and Hermione turned and was surprised that his effusive greeting was for Luna of all people, who was giving Theo one of her sunniest smiles.
Luna was wearing a rainbow baby doll dress over blue and gold stockings and black mary janes with hand painted spirals on them. She had her radish earrings in as per usual and her hair pulled up in a ponytail with little unicorn hair clips.
"Theodore!" Luna cried out gleefully, embracing him "It's been too long."
"Luna, we rode together from the train station yesterday, " Theo said, kissing her cheek and swinging her into the air.
"Exactly. Far too long. I am looking forward to the circular table plan. I could do with a more diverse meal conversation, my housemates think I am a bit odd and at this point I doubt I am changing their minds," Luna said as Theo lowered her back to the earth. Hermione wasn't sure how she hadn't realized that Theo Nott and Luna were such close friends. She looked over and saw Neville staring bug-eyed at Luna and Theo, who had barely stopped embracing.
"Your oddness is one of my favorite things about you," Theo said with sincerity.
"Aww Theo and those muggle denims are one of my favorite things about you. Good morning Hermione, lovely to see you." Luna laughed and wandered over to the Gryffindors who had now been joined by Susan Bones.
Hermione was not even sure what to say to the display she had just witnessed. "I had no idea that you and Luna were such good friends."
"She dated a friend of mine a couple years ago," Theo said, waving his hand in the air vaguely.
Hermione narrowed her eyes at him, sure there was more to it than that. She was also very confused as to who exactly Luna had dated when she wasn't paying attention, but her train of thought was cut off by Pansy, Malfoy and Blaise Zabini walking into the circle and that seemed to be the cue that the healer was waiting for.
Mind Healer Cordelia, dressed in green and white healer's robes, her long black braids flowing down her back, stepped into the center of the circle. She clapped her hands which instantly attracted the attention of all the waiting young people. Seamus squeezed Dean's hand and headed over to the second group where the tall dark-haired male mind healer was looking over expectantly.
"Hello all and welcome to our group. Please look around, these are the people that you are going to be working with for the next four weeks as we try to begin a healing journey after the horrible ordeal that you have all been through."
"I am Mind Healer Cordelia. I have had the pleasure of already speaking with a few of you. I look forward to getting to know all of you better here in group and hopefully individually as well. I am the lead healer on our team so I am working with you all - this group saw the most combat. As child soldiers you have all been through far more than you should have done at your young years and I am here to help you process your trauma, which is fancy muggle terminology for working through your emotions around the difficult things that you have all experienced."
She smiled warmly at the group.
"But first some housekeeping. I want to encourage everyone to eat a real breakfast, tea, and coffee before the group. I know that this morning you didn't know what to expect, so I am sure that very few of you ate well." Several of the people around the circle laughed sheepishly.
"The Castle's elves will be bringing snacks and beverages every midmorning, so there will be food. I don't want anyone feeling light headed or hungry while we are talking about heavy emotional topics."
"And speaking of heavy emotional topics, I am going to be casting a confidentiality circle spell that I have designed myself. You will not be able to share the secrets of others in this space with people outside our group. You can certainly discuss things that happen here with one another. However, if you discuss something that someone within our group has shared with malice or cruelty, you will not like the consequences so I suggest you keep those kinds of thoughts to yourselves." Hermione was glad she wasn't in a group with Padma and Pavarti, they were the worst gossips and the ones most likely to come up against the warding spell's consequences.
"Alright I need everyone to pull out their wands and verbally state that they agree to follow the rules of the confidentiality ward of their own free will. Any questions or concerns?" The group all shook their heads. Everyone is just ready to get on with whatever this is, Hermione thought.
Wands were in everyone's hands immediately. Hermione couldn't even tell where most of the wands had been hidden. It was easy to see that the ten of them were war veterans; no one's weapon was far out of reach.
Cordelia cast a non-verbal charm that made the chalk circle briefly glow blue and then all the young people repeated her words.
"We agree to the rules of the confidentiality ward of our own free will," The ten of them chanted. Blue light enveloped each of them for a moment and then dissipated. Hermione didn't feel any different, but she could feel the thrum of the wards surrounding them. She looked over at the other groups and realized she could no longer hear their voices. Two more blue circles lit up, but people were animatedly arguing in the second circle.
"Two last points of housekeeping, keep comments to others K.I.N.: is it kind? Is it important? Is it necessary? I want you to work on not calling each other names. No belittling or down playing each other's experiences and traumas. This group is mixed between folks who fought on both sides of the war or at the very least had the Dark army in their homes. It's going to be a challenge for you all to be supportive of each other, but I want you to really try. The war is over and to be honest none of you should have been in it." That last comment had the Slytherins all looking at each other in surprise. Hermione watched Theo raise an eyebrow at Blaise who shrugged in a subtle way that she wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't been looking. Pansy Parkinson was tapping her long red nails on her thighs nervously, her short black dress coming just past where her hands sat. Her silver belt looked like a snake hanging low on her hips, its tail swinging back and forth almost imperceptibly.
"Last housekeeping point, we forgot chairs today, but I have a stack of rocks here if anyone wants to transfigure one for themselves."
Luna went over and got a large rock, transfiguring it into a long bright pink church pew. She motioned at Theo and Pansy to sit by her, which they did. Hermione summoned a high back chair like the one she had slept in last night in the Heads Dorm. Malfoy made a stool that might be found in the Potions laboratory. Hannah Abbot turned her stone into a porch swing and urged Neville to join her. Susan transfigured a rocking chair that she positioned near them. Blaise looked content to stand for the moment, as did Dean.
Cordelia said, " Now I am going to explain some different Muggle terminology that applies to what we are doing here this summer."
"First is anxiety. Anxiety is a natural reaction of the mind and body that is designed like an alarm or like a ward. It alerts us to a perceived threat. When we spend a lot of our time nervous or worried, that is anxiety. There are typical levels of anxiety that most people experience and then there are health conditions where anxiety becomes excessive. There is too much fear, nervousness or dread in order to easily function. Based on the way all of you had your wands out in one second flat I can say without a doubt that this entire group is tense and always on alert. This is a sign of too constant or too intensive anxiety for our present setting."
Hermione knew she was tense. Maybe she should have had a little fire whiskey this morning to take the edge off. Her hands shook with the awareness that Cordelia could see through every single one of them, could see through her. She could probably tell that Hermione had barely slept.
"And why are you all tense and on alert? Well, this is because of your trauma. Another muggle mind healer term that I am going to be using a lot here in our group. A trauma is a stressful event that makes a person fear for their or other people's life or safety. The entire Second Wizarding War was a traumatic event and each of you have different individual traumas like participating in combat, physical or sexual abuse, sudden loss of a parent through death or arrest, being the target of hate or having threats of harm made against you. I am not going to ask you to share your stories now, but we will be talking more as the days and weeks go on."
"Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is a mind health condition brought on by trauma. The abbreviation for this is PTSD. And before you all start telling me that you don't have any kind of mind health conditions, we are going to do a little exercise. I want you to raise your hand if you have bad dreams about the war or trouble sleeping."
Everyone raised their hand including Hermione. She noticed that Pansy and Neville's hands were a bit lower than people like Luna and Theo whose hands were fully up in the air. Draco Malfoy had put up a single finger and had a slight blush across his cheeks. Their eyes met for just a moment and she felt her own face heat and she looked quickly away. Why would admitting he had nightmares cause Draco Malfoy to blush?
"Alright then, now keep your hands up if you notice you have trouble enjoying things like you did before the war." Dean and Luna lowered their hands.
"Okay. Raise your hands if you feel like you have been feeling more easily, scared, anxious, sensitive or startled." Dean and Luna's hands went back up and everyone else's hands stayed up.
"Keep your hands up if you notice that your mood has been different. Have you felt more sad, moody, angry or detached than you did before the war?" Neville dropped his hands into his lap and took one of Hannah's into his. Hermione looked around at the rest of the circle. Everyone had their hands up except Neville.
"Who tries to avoid things that remind you of the war or the things that happened to you during it? Who was nervous about coming this summer because you didn't want to see Hogwarts after the battle?" All their hands were up again.
"And finally, who has overwhelming bad memories? These are called flashbacks, when it seems like the trauma is happening right now?" Hermione looked around and saw that the only ones with their hands up were herself, Luna, Pansy Parkinson, Theo Nott and Draco Malfoy. Well Fuck.
Theo was pretty confident that he had this PTSD that Mind healer Cordelia was talking about. How could he not? His trauma, as she called it, had started a long time before the war.
"So now that we have explored that a bit, our goal here is to process your shared trauma. As I said before, this group is made up of people who witnessed the most violence, participated in the most combat and/or were sexually assaulted or imprisoned during the war. Out of everyone here this summer, your experiences were most similar to one another. So sometimes this group will be hard. Probably most of the time. Sometimes we will be talking about things that may be difficult to talk about, but I want all of you to try to be present with me. This means no occlumency during group. I know that it's an excellent coping skill during active combat, but long term there are a lot of side effects that I can discuss with anyone concerned about it in individual sessions." Theo looked over at Draco who was sitting away from everyone on his transfigured stool. Draco was clenching his jaw and his hands were gripping his legs so hard that the knuckles were white and it looked like his nails had to be digging into his skin. Theo knew that Draco relied on occlumency to function. It was as second nature to the blonde as breathing. What kind of side effects did long-term occlumency have? Theo was going to find out.
"What are common ways of coping with these intense experiences? That is what we are going to talk more about after our snack and loo break. See you all back here in 15 minutes." Cordelia released them as the castle's elves appeared with tables laden with food and beverages.
The morning stretched on after that. Cordelia did most of the talking and apologized often for the fact that they weren't getting to share their thoughts much today, but the ten young adults in her group didn't mind. Theo watched each person intently to get a sense of what was going on with them. Susan Bones was pretending to be okay. Neville and Hannah were interested in each other (they held hands for a half a minute at one point and then awkwardly blushed and looked away from each other). Why on earth had she conjured a swing if she hadn't wanted physical touch?
Blaise was acting as though none of this was happening around him. He could have been standing at one of his mother's parties for all the ennui that he was presenting. Luna was kicking her leg like a little girl, but Theo knew she was struggling to contain her restlessness. He felt her whole body tense repeatedly, toes to neck, and then subsequently relaxed just as systematically as he sat next to her.
Pansy kept almost chewing her nails and then putting them in her lap, then almost chewing them again. It was how Theo knew she wasn't doing well today. He had hoped that their play session would have taken some of the edge off her tension, apparently not. He needed to get her some new toys. Nothing released her tension like giving him a good whipping. He couldn't transfigure her anything, she always complained about the balance being off then. He needed to get her something handmade. Maybe his packages wouldn't be examined and he could order something appropriate.
Draco looked like his usual stoic self in black on black on black. His choice of a potion stool was telling to Theo though. Draco had chosen a seat that reminded him of a place where he was confident, knew what to expect and likely also because it reminded him of his beloved godfather. Snape may have been horrid to most of the student body, but he had really loved had caught the two of them during a private tutoring session in 3rd year and had heard Snape actually praise Draco's potioneering. It had been quite the shock to Theo despite knowing of their family connection.
Draco had been frighteningly still at points during the morning, almost as though he was holding his breath. Theo realized that Draco hadn't occluded even once however and was glad for it. He needed to know what the long term consequences of Occlumency were. If he had to go to individual therapy to find out, that's what he would do.
Hermione was wearing another ridiculously oversized jumper today. This one was bronze and brown striped and made her hair glow. He could tell she had cast a glamour on herself after taking the Pepper-up from Thomas. The potion had taken some of the exhaustion out of the tightness of her face, but she had definitely hidden the purple smudges under her eyes.
Hermione and Draco kept making eye contact and then looking away from each other. Theo watched it happen once, twice, thrice. When they looked away from each other, Draco's jaw would tense and Hermione would pretend that she was interested in a loose string on her jumper. The two of them were clearly fascinated with each other.
Theo looked forward to seeing what kind of dynamic they might have in the closer quarters of the Heads Dorm. The lack of Potter and Weasley might mean that some of his more lurid fantasies had a much better chance of happening in reality. The thought of watching Draco going down on the wild-haired Muggleborn had been something he'd wanked to before. He knew what Draco's mouth was capable of, but to watch Hermione be stripped of the virginal swot extraordinaire persona was all consuming. Granger always played heavily in his fantasies since he sat behind her in fourth year watching her toss her curls and lift that little heart shaped arse up and down with excitement in her seat. His first wank to her had been imagining her riding him with that same level of excitement.
What type of knickers would she prefer? Would they be little white cotton and sensible or could those two sizes too large jumpers be hiding a matching lacey red number – better yet, emerald. She did look ghastly in those Gryffindor colours. Just thinking of her in lacey green lingerie had his cock twitching. The thought of a certain blonde head between those silky thighs was enough to make his jeans even tighter.
Draco and Hermione couldn't seem to stop looking at each other, but when their eyes met there were sparks. This created many future possibilities. Theo was enough of a Slytherin to start considering what it would take to bring those possibilities to life.
Some movement beyond their circle drew his eye unwillingly away from the Slytherin Prince and the Gryffindor Princess.
Looking over at the second circle he realized that it had never lit up with blue light, obviously the first morning of group therapy had gone poorly for group two. Theo saw that Finnegan and Goyle were in a screaming match, spit flying, only moments from coming to blows when their mind healer froze the two of them and then released the rest of the circle to head to lunch. Theo wished that he could have heard the argument, but the privacy ward on their group prevented it. Well if the second group had never bound themselves into the privacy ward, perhaps Theo would get his curiosity sated at lunch.
Blaise was exceptionally bored during lunch. No one was quite brave enough to sit with other houses, so he ate with Theo, Pansy and Draco. Milicent and Tracey had joined the younger Carrow twins and a handful of Slytherin 5th years at another round table. Clearly he was still persona-non-grata where Tracey was concerned. She wouldn't even acknowledge his presence. It wasn't like he had misled her. He was not to blame that she had expected more from their little liaison last year.
Goyle was eating angrily alone at the farthest possible table from everyone else. No one seemed to have the wherewithal to really talk, not even Theo. It was honestly eerie. After the emotionally taxing morning of therapy, Blaise himself didn't have the energy to carry a conversation so after a couple half-hearted attempts to get people talking, he sat back and drank his tea and picked at his plate. He missed the food his elves were cooking at home. English Wizarding cuisine left a great deal to be desired. He considered, not for the first time, opening restaurants after graduating. How much shepherd's pie was a person legitimately supposed to be expected to eat?
After lunch was over, professor Flitwick came out and led the students to one of the collapsed walls on the outside of the castle. He led them all in a brief lesson on how to use basic levitation spells that they all learned in the first year to pick up and neatly stack the reuseable stones and bricks. Rubble that could not be reused was to be placed into a giant hole that had been dug fifty feet away from the castle. Even the debris of the castle was magical and they wanted to keep the bits to make mortar, according to Flitwick.
During the long afternoon of restoration, Blaise embraced the monotony of magical heavy labor: lifting, stacking, and then lifting and stacking again. After all the emotional turbulence of the morning it was nice to be distracted by practical magical application. Blaise wasn't the occlumens that Draco was, but his mother had taught him how to use it when needful. He knew that she occluded and used legilimency almost constantly and this morning, for the first time in his life, Blaise had felt real worry for her. He tried to bottle his anxiety up. Certainly if there were consequences to over-reliance on Occlumency his mother would know? Wouldn't she?
Blaise worked side by side with Draco while Theo and Pansy partnered up. They were a bit away from the others as even the Slytherins were giving Draco and Pansy a wide berth. Blaise wasn't certain if it was because they had been in the Dark Lord's service or if it was because they were facing charges for it.
He was particularly annoyed at the hypocrisy of Slytherins like Flora and Hestia Carrow whose aunt and uncle had been the brutal architects of the horrors at Hogwarts last year, or Aethel Rowle whose father had already been sentenced to life in Azkaban. Blaise tried to tell himself that they were just frightened children, but he was only three years older and he felt ancient. The last year had seemed like a decade. He felt the grisliness in his bones.
Blaise's flow was disturbed when suddenly one of the Hufflepuff 5th years started screaming hysterically. He looked over and saw a disembodied arm lying within the pile of rubble where she and her partner had been working. It appeared to be mummified by how the rubble had fallen around it.
"Well that certainly puts a bloody damper on the afternoon," Theo said next to him.
"Emphasis on the bloody," Blaise responded and looked over at Draco to see that he had vanished.
"Looks a smidge crispy honestly," Theo said and at Blaise's disgusted sound. "What too soon?"
"Undoubtedly," Blaise stated. "Conveniently we are pariahs and no one can hear you. How the bloody hell are you head boy anyway?"
"Inter House unity," Theo replied, "it's either a right arm or not a Death Eater. No Dark Mark."
"Look at the hand. Definitely someone from the light. Left hand." Blaise said, thoughtfully. "Did anyone survive without an arm?"
"I feel like it would have been in the Prophet. Auror loses arm in battle, career lost to defeat dark wizards."
There were several younger students crying hysterically and Sybil Trelawney had appeared and was leading them back towards the Great Hall murmuring something about tea and biscuits to take the edge off.
"I could do with some firewhiskey to take the edge off," Pansy murmured suddenly beside them.
"Oh! I have some!" Theo said, handing her an open flask and disillusioning it once she had it in her hand.
Pansy took a long pull on the flask, her cheeks turning pink as the burning liquid ran down her throat.
"Hey, save some for the rest of us Pans!" Theo said, reclaiming the flask carefully and using his sense of touch to put the lid back on and popped it back into his pocket.
"I was thirsty. Besides Theo, like you don't have at least a case up in your dorm," Pansy replied saucily.
"That is neither here nor here, my queen."
Blaise rolled his eyes at the two of them, "You two need to get a room."
Theo scoffed, "And deprive the populace of my arse in these denims? I think not!"
"For fucks' sake, Nott." Pansy reprimanded, smacking him on the arm.
Blaise shook his head at Theo. "You know what, I have had enough of your shenanigans. Looks like everyone has disbursed for the afternoon and I have a proposal for McGonagall since she seems to finally be free."
The Headmistress was standing off by herself looking at the piles of rubble as though she would like to incendio them herself.
"Please tell me you aren't about to proposition the headmistress?" Theo beseeched.
Blaise snorted, "Like you didn't try 4th year to get a higher transfiguration grade."
"That's different. I was desperate." Theo complained, "And it's really unfair to bring that up." Pansy had put her hand over her eyes and was trying to not dissolve into highly inappropriate laughter.
"I'll see you two at dinner." Blaise nodded and headed over to speak with McGonagall.
Despite her initial surprise at his approach, Blaise was thrilled that she appeared receptive and at her direction, he dashed off to the makeshift owlery near Hagrid's new hut, as the former Hogwarts one was damaged in the battle.
Draco felt lost at what he should be doing now that the construction work had suddenly ended for the afternoon. There wasn't really any school work to do during summer camp. No essays to research. No ancient runes to translate. However he had the reading lists for the fall, and an idea of what to review from 6th year. He didn't think he went to Arithmancy that year more than a handful of times. So he was in the library reviewing the 6th year texts. Parts of the library were in a state of wreckage, but this section was fine and had a table, light and no debris. He sat and read the textbook, taking notes with his luxury quill and thinking about each concept trying to commit it to memory.
Although, why he assumed that they wouldn't be putting him in Azkaban after his trial in August he didn't know. Perhaps he just needed some task to perform.
Putting on a show was second nature to him: Pretend to be fine, pretend he hadn't failed to keep Pansy safe, pretend that he and Theo were just best mates, pretend that he didn't want to rip Thoros Nott limb from bloody limb. He was such a failure at taking care of those he loved. Pretend he didn't want things that he couldn't have, pretend to not want to tangle his hands in Granger's curls and worship her body like she was a goddess, pretend every little swotty comment she made didn't fill him with joy that he could never express.
After two hours of pretending to study, Draco went over to where Madam Pince was sorting through books putting them into stacks of repairable with simple spells, perhaps repairable by a specialist and destroyed. And when he asked with downcast eyes and a miserable expression if he could help, he was surprised that she said yes.
Hermione entered the Great Hall for dinner and made a beeline for Neville who was at a round table that sat in just about the same position that they normally sat at the missing Gryffindor table
In her desperate attempt to keep things as close to normal as possible, Hermione forced herself to make inane conversation with Neville about the round tables. Neville was noncommittal about them not saying if he approved or didn't. Hermione was just about ready to scream in frustration, she honestly wished Theo would turn up and join her for the meal, at least he had opinions and wasn't afraid to share them even if half of what came out of his mouth was absolute nonsense.
It didn't hurt how fit he looked in those muggle jeans and his smile made her knees a little weak. Sharing the Heads dorm with a man that was so fine to look at and clever was certainly shaping up to be no burden. Was she seriously missing Theo Nott, right now? Hermione shook herself mentally, but couldn't quite banish the image of his smiling sapphire eyes and that dimple.
Hermione was positively overjoyed when Luna appeared and sat with them.
Luna smiled beautifically at Neville and Hermione, "Hello Hermione. Neville. Aren't the round tables just wonderful? It is so exciting to sit with different people." Hermione, who was sitting with Neville because they had always sat together, nodded and took a drink of pumpkin juice.
"Mind Healer Cordelia was really something wasn't she?" Luna continued to ramble, "not a single wrackspurt anywhere near her nor a nargle. It's quite a feat to have such a clear aura doing the kind of work she does, don't you think?"
"Absolutely Luna," Hermione agreed, despite being almost 100% sure that wrackspurts and nargles weren't real at all and were in fact some kind of metaphor. "She seemed really knowledgeable about her field. I admit I was quite impressed. She must have done both wizarding world Healer training and muggle psychologist training."
Luna began to ask what muggle psychological training entailed, but was cut off when Cormac McLaggen swaggered up and pulled out a chair next to Hermione and leered in her direction.
"Hello Hermione, Luna." Cormac smirked lecherously, completely ignoring Neville who glared at Cormac.
Merlin, why did I ever go on a date with him? She thought. All it had done was encourage him.
Hermione looked away from Cormac trying to discourage further interaction, and saw Blaise Zabini coming into the Great Hall. He looked around and saw no one else from his Slytherin clique, and shrugging walked over and sat next to Luna, who smiled at him.
"So Hermione," Cormac was saying, completely ignoring that Zabini had walked up and joined their table, "With Potter and Weasley unavailable, how about we go up to that Head Dorm of yours and christen it in all kinds of unspeakable ways?"
Beyond disgusted, Hermione rolled her eyes and pretended to not have heard what Cormac had said.
"McLaggen, on what green earth, does the Gryffindor Princess, savior of the wizarding world, give you the time of day?" Blaise drawled, sounding bored. "Sei uno sciocco."
"Potter is the savior of the wizarding world," Cormac snarled at Blaise.
"We all know Granger was the brains behind that operation. If it wasn't for her, Potter and Weasley would have gotten lost between here and Hogsmeade. Do scurry off and find someone else interested in your mediocre pick up lines and assuredly even more mediocre cock. And please don't take that reference as interest on my part. I am assuredly a ladies' man."
Cormac turned ten shades of red in the face and stormed off through the Great Hall doors.
"Why did you do that?" asked Hermione, stunned at the rather crass gallantry from one of the Slytherins. She could see Theo doing something like that, but they were building a rather tentative friendship as roommates. There was no reason for Blaise Zabini to humiliate Cormac in such an emasculating way.
Blaise looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "You haven't met my mother, permitting that kind of behavior in my hearing gets back to her and I shudder to think of her reaction. I wouldn't want to go home for Christmas." He smiled and took a drink from his goblet.
Luna looked at him and smiled. "She sounds lovely."
Blaise choked on his pumpkin juice. "She certainly is lovely, just intense." Suddenly, Blaise looked at Luna in a way that Hermione could only call assessing. He gave her a very sensual smile and was blatantly admiring the fair haired Ravenclaw. Zabini looking like that at Luna was definitely not something that Hermione would have had on her summer program bingo card, but Luna did not appear averse to the attention.
"My mum was intense too." Luna looked off into space at that, lost in thought. "I wonder what she would say about the now we find ourselves in."
Hermione wondered what her mum would think about everything. She imagined Helen Granger in their kitchen at home listening to Hermione talk about everything that was going on, but Hermione had told her so little of what was really happening. She had kept so many secrets ever since the Triwizard Tournament. Even before obliviating her parents, they had known so little about who she was and the things she had done. Hermione doubted Dumbledore had bothered to inform them about the troll in first year or the time she was petrified for weeks by a basilisk.
Her parents really had no idea who she was, and they may never know. The Australian DMLE may never find them and even if they did there was no guarantee her memory modification could be reversed. She was basically an orphan; there was no one on earth that was truly her family anymore. Her time at the Burrow had shown her that without Ron as her boyfriend, she didn't have a place there. She was an outsider.
Suddenly the grief seemed like it was going to split her in two. She started to cry and excused herself, running from the great hall before Blaise, Neville and Luna said something. All three of them looked after her as she ran out of the Great Hall. None of them seemed to know what to do and they allowed her to flee with her grief.
"I think she just needs some time alone," Luna said thoughtfully to her table companions.
Hermione ran through the familiar hallways, up stairwells and down walkways until she came to the tiny stairwell leading to the tower that held the Head's Dorm
She nearly yelled the password as she came to the door and slammed it open. She froze in place as she found Pansy crying into Draco's shoulder on the couch in the common area.
"Oh." Hermione said, almost a gasp.
"Granger." Draco replied, looking at her with those inscrutable grey eyes.
"Malfoy," Hermione said, unsure what to say.
"Oh fuck me." Pansy wiped her eyes. "Don't mind me. Just processing my fucking trauma as Cordelia says." She rolled her shoulders as she moved away from Draco who still held her hand and wouldn't let go.
Hermione felt like her body had turned to ice. She didn't know where to look or what to do. At least she didn't feel as though she was about to weep any longer. She seemed to have shocked the tears out of herself by seeing Draco Malfoy holding Pansy Parkinson. That had to be the strangest thing that had happened today. Even when she had been sure they were dating in fourth and fifth years, she had never seen them be physically affectionate with one another.
Malfoy continued to look at her, and stated "Granger, you are staring."
So are you, you prat, Hermione thought. Outloud she said, "Sorry. Um… I will just go to my room, shall I?"
Pansy shook her head. "It's your common area Granger, we are just waiting on Theo to get back from an errand, we can go into his room or wait down in the snake pit." Draco snorted derisively, sounding like the Malfoy that Hermione knew.
Hermione was completely distracted by the whole scene. How surreal. She almost forgot the overwhelming grief that she had felt in the Great Hall, the soul shattering feeling of missing her mother as Luna and Blaise had chatted about theirs.
Looking at the closeness of their bodies and the way that Malfoy seemed protective of Pansy, Hermione supposed that Pansy and Malfoy are still dating like they had been the last time she had seen the two of them. She was surprised at her slight twinge of jealousy that they had made it through the war with their relationship intact. She wished that she had someone with whom she could have physical closeness to just let go and grieve everything. How lucky was Pansy that Malfoy could give that to her.
But then why were her shoes outside Theo's door last night while Draco was on the couch?
"No no, you are fine. Shall I make some tea? Today was kind of a lot."
Pansy laughed mirthlessly. Hermione wasn't sure she had ever heard her laugh in a way that wasn't cruel. "Understatement of the millenia, Granger, but yea tea would be grand." Pansy bloody Parkinson is being nice to her and Malfoy hadn't insulted her. It was like she was in some alternate dimension. This couldn't be reality. Well if they could be civil, so could she. She didn't really have the energy or the mental wherewithal to be a bitch to people who were clearly having the same sorts of difficulties that she was.
Hermione headed into the Head's little kitchenette and puttered around making tea, when there was a knock at the door.
"Granger, do you want us to answer?" Pansy called from the common area.
Hermione had no idea who it could be, Theo knew the password. Who else could possibly be visiting?
"Yes please" Hermione called back as she used a spell to heat the water in the kettle.
She could hear Draco quietly ask, "Pans are you okay?"
Pansy said quietly "No, but I can answer a door you fucking tosser. You sit here and try not to look all doom and gloom yea? "
Hermione heard the suite door open and a familiar sing-song voice cry out, "If it isn't my favorite flower! And Draco Malfoy too!"
"Hullo Luna," Pansy said with surprise in her voice.
Pansy was not anticipating the arrival of her ex-girlfriend. She had been crying into her best friend's chest, waiting for Theo to return from gathering some of her things from the dungeons. She hadn't told him about the issues with Goyle, because she knew he would tell Draco and they would both get in trouble. Trouble for Draco meant a one way ticket to Azkaban. Pansy refused to have that on her conscience. She wasn't worth him getting tangled in that mess.
However, she had a horrible fit of shaking and crying right in front of the two of them when she tried to go to the dungeons before dinner. So Draco led her up to the Heads dorm while Theo ran down to grab some of her things. She hadn't lost it this morning when she did her walk of shame, so why was this evening so panic inducing? She had no idea and wished her body would stop reducing her to a quivering mess. It was supremely inconvenient. She hated her boys seeing her weakened. She had always been the strong one, the Queen of Snakes. Now just look at her, terrified of a set of stairs. Pathetic.
She put on a brave face and said, "Granger is in the kitchen making tea, was she who you were looking for?"
"She was," Luna said, flopping onto the couch next to Draco. Draco raised his eyebrow, but surrendered his space to her and slid over a bit to give her some space, while Pansy sat in the chair near the fire. "But it's lovely to see the two of you as well,"
"Luna, I sat by you at group therapy earlier." Pansy looked askance at her friend, her ex-girlfriend.
"So you did, but I didn't really see you. I was…distracted. What Cordelia had to say was a bit overwhelming and the whole circle was just teeming with wrackspurts." Pansy was used to Luna's imaginary creatures and curious way of looking at the world, but she cast a glance at Draco who couldn't have been comfortable for the obvious reasons.
Luna looked straight at Draco, "I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you. For being held in the dungeons at your family's manor. I think that you were just as much a prisoner as I was." Luna smiled prettily and started to hum to herself, "It really is a lovely dormitory, isn't it?"
Pansy looked at Draco who was as still as death, a single drop of sweat dripping down his temple. His hands were clenching and unclenching. Luna seemed to be entirely unaffected by the fact that she had sent Draco into a full blown panic, in fact the usually perceptive girl seemed entirely unaware.
Hermione chose that moment to walk in with a tea tray with three cups and stood staring at clearly upset Draco, an uncomfortable Pansy and utterly oblivious Luna who was looking at the furnishings in the common room.
She shook herself and handed Pansy a tea cup first, then Draco who held the cup so tightly Pansy was worried it would shatter. Hermione stood there shifting her weight from one foot to the other, unsure what to do, with the tea tray, with herself, with the situation.
"Honey, I'm home," Theo sang out as he entered the dorm. "I do hope I got that Muggle phrasing right. Oh would anyone like a knife to cut the tension with? I think I have one in my room."
Pansy could not help but scowl at him. "Not helpful, Theodore."
"Oo, I must be in trouble, my full first name. At least it wasn't Theodore Tiberius. Then I would really be in trouble. Middle names are really indicative."
Hermione snorted at Theo. "Milk? Sugar?" she inquired of Draco and Pansy.
"Both please, Granger," Pansy said, trying to break the tension as well. Hermione set the tea tray in front of Pansy.
"Honey for Draco, Hermione." Theo said, when Draco seemed unable or unwilling to answer, just staring in the black liquid in his cup.
"Oh, I didn't know. I will just grab it. Luna would you like a cup as well? Theo?"
"Yes please Hermione. What a delightful hostess you are," Luna said, sunnily.
"No thank you," Theo said regretfully, "It's about fire whiskey o'clock for me."
Pansy watched as Draco became more and more upset, his hands shaking uncontrollably as he held the tea cup and he closed his eyes, trying and failing to control his breathing. Theo walked over to him and took the tea cup from his shaking hands, setting it on the side table. He whispered into Draco's ear, rubbing his back. Draco nodded in response.
"Hermione," Theo called, "Cancel that honey. I am borrowing Draco. Talk to you tomorrow."
And with that Theo grabbed Draco by the hand, leading him into his bedroom and closing the door with a click of the mundane lock and the buzzing of his wards.
Hermione returned with a cup for Luna, who contentedly served herself, seemingly unaware of all the chaos she had caused.
Pansy sighed, sipping her tea. "Thank you Granger. The tea is really helping."
"Was the therapy group this morning really difficult for you, Pansy?" Luna asked suddenly. "I kept thinking about the Manor's dungeons when I saw you."
"Wait," Hermione said, shocked, "You were in the dungeon with Luna, Parkinson?"
"Not like that Granger," Pansy shook her head, "I was a bloody snatcher on my papa's orders. Luna and I had a brief tête-à-tête which was unfortunately interrupted by one of the traumatic events on Cordelia's bleeding list today."
"That was four or five traumas in one." Luna said, "If Draco hadn't come when he did, you would have bled out and there would have been nothing I could have done wandless behind those bars." Luna was matter of fact, but her bluntness set Pansy's hands to shaking.
Pansy's lip quivered; she tried to hide it behind her tea cup, but she could tell Hermione had seen it from the way her eyes widened.
"Well it looks like all three of us bled in Malfoy Manor last year." Hermione said, "More tea?"
Pansy couldn't stop the laughter that spilled from her and if it approached hysterical neither Luna nor Hermione commented.
After Theo dragged Draco into his room, and cast his wards, he shoved the blonde against the door hard, and crashed his lips into Draco's. Draco let out a surprised exhale and Theo used it as the opening he needed to nip at his lower lip. His tongue chased Draco's in his mouth next. Theo's hands twined into the platinum locks that reminded him of snow and starlight.
Draco let out a groan, and Theo's hand tightened in his hair.
"That's right, my good boy, do you like that?" Theo growled into his ear as he nipped along the tight tendons in Draco's neck and sucked on his earlobe, drawing a moan. Theo took a deep breath of the rose, oud wood and musk scent of Draco's skin. "You smell so good."
Draco's hands had been leaving fingernail marks in the paint of the door, but now they wrapped around Theo's waist drawing him closer. Their erections were painfully obvious to one another as they pressed tightly into one another, lost in each other's kisses. Theo nipped Draco one last time below his ear.
"Come, sit on the bed," Theo motioned. "Have a drink with me."
Draco was shocked that Theo had stepped away from him. His skin felt like flames were licking him. His breath was coming erratically, his heart was hammering in his chest, but Theo, Theo seemed totally unaffected, pulling out a bottle of fire whiskey from a drawer and pouring two deep glasses.
Draco took a deep breath and sat on the bed, leaning back against the headboard and kicking off his dragonhide shoes. His hard cock made sitting like that a bit awkward, but Theo didn't comment on the bulge in his trousers.
Theo handed him the cut crystal glass and ran his hand along Draco's arm as he did so. Draco's breath caught, but he accepted the glass and took a deep drink. The fire burned all the way down distracting him from the way his body was aflame with desire.
Theo ran his fingertip along the rim of his glass, making the crystal sing. "I'd like to try something with you if you are interested."
Draco gazed at Theo who wasn't meeting his eyes and felt the desire in his blood continue to rise. He was sure he would agree to anything if he could just feel Theo's hands on him again.
"I'm listening," Draco breathed, taking another sip of the fire whiskey savoring the taste on his tongue.
"I'd like to tie you to my bed with our Slytherin ties and have my wicked way with you," Theo responded. "If I went too far, you could say the word 'red' and I would stop, the word 'yellow' and I would slow down or the word 'green' if I asked how you were doing and you liked it." Theo's sapphire gaze met Draco's grey eyes now and the brunette licked his lips sensually.
Draco shivered with desire. The most the two of them had ever done was kissing and some dry humping. He was very ready for things to progress.
"Are you wanting to do things like what you and Pans do?" Draco asked, nervously.
"Sweet Salazar, no!" Theo laughed, "Pans and I are into darker, heavier play than you are ready for my darling." Theo grinned at him, flashing that sinful dimple. "No, no. For your delicate introduction, I would just like to restrain your wrists and try a little edging. I think you could use a little distraction. You trust me, right?"
"Of course," Draco responded immediately. "More than anyone."
Theo nodded, "Finish your drink." Draco knocked it back and his limbs felt languid, and relaxed. Theo took the glass from his hand and sat it with his empty one on the nightstand.
"Put your wrists up at the posts," Theo directed, as he removed the shirt he was wearing over his head. Draco followed his instructions and moved them up and down until his shoulders and arms felt comfortable. He had heard Theo complain before about Pansy tying him in an uncomfortable way and would rather avoid a sore shoulder in the name of pleasure. Bites and scratches were one thing as far as Draco was concerned, an aching arm was a much less pleasurable sounding pain.
"Incarcerous delectatio," Theo said pointing his wand at Draco's wrists and suddenly the silken Slytherin ties were knotted around his wrists. Draco struggled against them briefly, instinct warring with his desire for pleasure.
Theo vanished Draco's clothes and set his wand to the side of the whiskey glasses. Draco's breathing was coming in pants now as he looked at Theo, climbing onto the bed still wearing his tight muggle denims, shirtless, scars and burns all over his torso like constellations of pain.
Theo ran his fingertips over Draco's sectumsempra scars, kissing each line that was carved into his flesh by the spell. Draco whimpered and twisted under Theo's touch.
Theo straddled Draco's lap, sliding his arse against Draco's hard cock, he ran his hands up Draco's chest and put one hand around his throat, the other hand threading into the blond's hair. As Theo tilted Draco's face up toward him, he squeezed his throat slightly and ravaged the restrained man's mouth with his teeth and tongue. Theo bit Draco's bottom lip hard and then sucked on it, soothing the hurt.
Draco's cock felt impossibly hard, its head rubbing against the coarse fabric of Theo's denims. The tip wept. He moaned into Theo's mouth, his wrists straining futilely against his bindings.
Theo kissed along Draco's jawline, nipping at his earlobe. "You'd look fucking hot with earrings, Drake." He kissed the sensitive spot behind his ear as his lover shook beneath him. Theo ran his tongue down Draco's neck. Draco's whimpers became full moans.
Theo slid down his love's body, kissing and nipping as he went. A bite to his shoulder, a lick at his nipple, a kiss to the sectumsempra scar that ran down towards Draco's navel. Theo kissed the silken skin that led to the pale hair and cock at the juncture of those muscular thighs. Draco arched his hips and his thick cock was just before Theo's lips.
"Don't mind if I do," Theo whispered, taking the tip into his mouth, running his tongue in circles around the base of the head. Louder Theo drawled, "now hold still and let me have my wicked way with you."
Draco was tossing his head and breathing raggedly.
"Theo. Theo. Theo. Theo. Theo," he begged. Theo hollowed his cheeks and slid all the way down Draco's length, engulfing his cock in the warm wet heat. Draco's cock hardened even more in his mouth and the blond thrust hard down Theo's throat. Theo backed off and slid Draco's cock out of his mouth with a pop.
Theo sat back and summoned a cigarette, lighting it with a targeted wandless incendio.
Draco, breathless and dazed, stared at Theo in shock.
Theo took a long drag from his cigarette and stared back, heavy lidded and aroused.
"I'm sorry Draco, were you wanting something?" Theo asked, sucking on his cigarette suggestively and blowing the smoke toward the emerald canopy of the bed. His darkened lips shown with Draco's precum.
Draco whimpered, his hard cock sitting against his belly. "To cum Theo, please."
"Ah," Theo said and blew a ring of smoke at Draco, "Are you ready to behave?"
Desperately Draco nodded. "Pleeease," he begged hungrily.
"And you are going to listen this time?" Theo purred.
"Yes. Yes. Yes," Draco nearly sobbed.
"What color are you, Drake my darling." Theo drawled.
"Green. So green. So very green, Theo," Draco said, pleading in this voice.
Theo extinguished and vanished his cigarette. He leaned down and blew softly on the hot hard cock that was twitching against Draco's muscular abdomen.
"If you move I will stop," Theo informed him imperiously.
Draco nodded eagerly, "I will be good."
"Oh I know," Theo growled, tonguing the slit at the end of his cock and caressed the length with one hand. He spit on the head and stroked the dampness downward. He looked up into Draco's reddened and glistening face, "you are my sweet boy aren't you?" Draco breathlessly nodded, leaning as forward as his wrist restraints would let him.
"Sweet Circe, you have a perfect cock, "Theo murmured into Draco's shaft as he licked and lightly nipped at the sensitive flesh. He cupped Draco's balls with one hand, gripping the base with the other and swallowed the hard flesh until his lips met his hand. With experienced skill, Theo massaged with both hands and his mouth quickly reducing Draco to a sobbing mess desperate to stay still.
Theo's ministrations became quicker and more frantic as he too was turned on by Draco's whispered "Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. So good Theo. Your mouth. Salazar's balls. I am gonna cum, please Theo can I move? Please? Please? Please?" Draco's body was covered with a sheen of sweat as he held himself still.
Theo lifted up his face to his lover and moved his hands to grip Draco's thighs.
Pulling his mouth off Draco's cock for a moment, he murmured, "Yes you've been a good pet, my darling. You can move now." And as Theo deep-throated Draco's cock, Draco's hips bucked upward and he fucked Theo's mouth babbling nonsense adjectives that none-the-less stroked Theo's ego. Draco groaned and shattered, his cum flooding Theo's mouth and throat. Theo waited until Draco was fully spent, and then released his wrists with a wandless nonverbal relashio.
Draco stretched his wrists and then wrapped his arms around Theo, drawing him up for a kiss. He tasted his own cum on Theo's swollen lips. And the two young men just held each other for a long time, Draco's chin on top of Theo's head and Theo's cheek against the slick skin of Draco's throat, listening to each other's breath, their arms holding each other tight.