We'll Be The Only Dream You Seek

by Ceilidhchaos

In the summer before 8th year, Head Boy Theo Nott and Head Girl Hermione Granger are dealing with alot of trauma at child soldier therapy camp. Pansy and Draco are waiting for their trials. The four of them end up growing closer over fire whiskey, cigarettes, group therapy and illicit touches. A polyamorous, kinky AU.

6. Coming Out, (No) Regrets

Chapter 6

Coming Out, (No) Regrets

Float by Call Me Karizma

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Towards the end of the chapter, Pansy sings Non, je ne regrette rien by Edith Piaf track/3dkIE8P7hvl3tHl9KSb6dA?autoplay=true

End Note: Gold brick wrapped in lemon is a reference to Terry Pratchett's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, another of Theo's guilty muggle literature pleasures. Pansy's girlfriend from 4th year is named for a character from Don't Take This Sinner by hexmionegranger, one of my favorite marriage law fics. Further note, Cordelia is 100% not okay with the fact that Pansy had a girlfriend who was a legal adult when she was 14 and will absolutely be talking to McGonagall about making sure that things like that aren't happening in the future. She'll definitely be using the words like "grooming" and "inappropriate use of authority" while maintaining Pansy's confidentiality.

Draco translating the song from French is a nod to Remain Nameless and other fics.

Hermione woke up, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth which was dry like a desert, still in her rumpled clothes (including her shoes) from the night before, face down across her bed on top of her blankets. She rolled slightly onto her side, blowing her curls out of her face just for them to fall back into her eyes. Pulling her hair back, she saw hangover and sober up potions that she did not remember pulling out last night before falling asleep.

Well done Hermione, she thought. She wiped at her face again, and rolled onto her back. She must have passed out after coming back from the Astronomy Tower. She reached over and found her empty flask on the bed and frowned. She didn't even remember drinking more on her way back to her room, but she must have done because she'd filled it before taking her little field trip last night. She actually had very little to drink prior to Malfoy interrupting her alone time. Merlin, her head was pounding.

There was a hesitant knock at her door.

"Hermione?" Theo called through the door, "It's nearly time to head to the group. Are you up?"

Ugh, "Yes Theo, I am up. Give me a minute and I will walk down with you yeah?" Hermione quickly sat up, dizziness overwhelming for a moment until she grabbed the hangover potion and popped the cork, throwing back the contents of the vial. She conjured herself a glass of water, drank the whole thing and then another.

She pulled off her clothes and threw them across the room, and grabbed a fresh jumper, this one moss green. Digging through her drawer, she also found a matching emerald bralette and knickers set. Merlin, what would Theo think if he came in and saw her in green knickers? She pushed that thought aside and swiftly slid on fresh denims, socks and trainers.

Spraying some lavender scent on herself, she hoped the smell from the firewhisky coming from her pores wasn't too strong and that no one would notice. She cast the teeth cleaning charm on herself, even though her habit was to handle it the muggle way, there just wasn't time today. Her hair was completely wild, so she used a couple of charms on it, and then just twisted it into a bun, shoved her wand through it, drank a Pepper-Up potion and opened the door to see Theo Nott standing there with his hand raised right in front of her face, obviously about to knock again. His knuckles were right in front of her face, his Nott signet ring so close that she could lean forward and kiss it if she wanted to. The mental image of putting her mouth on his ring and then maybe sucking on a finger or two sent a shiver of desire through her. And she faked a cough to cover up the moan that was about to spill out. Fuck his hands are perfect: perfect olive skin, perfect long fingers. If Theo just leaned forward he could put his hand around her throat and …

She shook herself and smiled in greeting.

"Oh," he said, smiling, "You are ready. Here I brought these back for you," he said, handing her a pumpkin scone and a cup of coffee. She sipped from the mug and was shocked to discover that it was exactly the way she liked it.

"Did you already go down to breakfast and come back?" Hermione asked, stunned at how late she must have slept.

"Yes, but we need to hurry. We don't have a lot of time until the group starts," Theo replied, starting to turn away from her. He looked over his shoulder at her and raised a brow in a silent question.

Hermione swiftly downed the coffee, leaving the cup on the table by the couch, and nibbled on the scone as she followed Theo's brisk pace down the stairs. Hermione stumbled a bit trying to keep up with him, apparently the hangover potion still not taking full effect yet. Theo must have heard her, stopping and turning towards her, as if he were watching to make sure she didn't fall. A blush dusted her cheeks at her own clumsiness.

When they reached the quad where therapy was held, Hermione realized that she was the only one that their group was waiting on and she swallowed nervously. She devoured the last bite of her scone, licking her fingers clean before leaning up towards the Head Boy,

"Theo?" Hermione asked in a low voice.

"Yes, Hermione?" Theo whispered back playfully, his eyes flickering to her lips.

"Did you come back up just for me?" Hermione inquired.

"Of course," Theo smiled, "What are friends for? You have a crumb just there." He wiped his thumb across her lower lip. Hermione froze under his touch. "There you go: all better."

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise at his touch and the idea that he thought of them as friends, and Theo Nott walked over to take his place in the circle, leaving her to take a spot next to Pansy Parkinson on her left and Susan Bones on her right. Hermione sat and began fidgeting with the hem of her jumper. At least I'm not next to Malfoy, she thought before letting her eyes scan the group and spotting the top of his head and diverting her gaze back to her hands.

Cordelia smiled kindly at Hermione and said, "Now that we are all here this morning, let's start with talking about regrets. What is a regret? It's a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. We'll go around the circle."

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Theo kicked his leg, wondering what had kept Hermione up so late drinking. He had heard her stumble into the suite after Pansy had fallen asleep with her head on his pillow. Theo had put down his book and slipped from his bed, careful not to wake his bedmate and cracked open his door just enough that he could see the silhouette of her movements.

When she tripped and fell into their chaise, he'd almost gone to check on her, but she bounced up. Although she hadn't made it quickly into her room, only getting as far as the wall before she leaned into it. She lifted her flask to her lips and then shook it before letting out a loud sigh. Using the wall, Hermione had navigated her way back over to her doorway, he heard the slam of her door and some snoring. Theo knew she had to have made it to bed okay, and slipped back into his bed.

When he saw no sign of her in the morning, Theo became concerned. He had gone down and had breakfast with Pansy, Blaise and Draco, only able to pay partial attention to their conversation. His eyes had been trained on the entrance to the Great Hall. When there was no sign of his hungover roommate coming to breakfast, Theo became bothered. As the time came for everyone to go out to the courtyard for their group session and Hermione still hadn't shown up, Theo became distressed. He joined their group and quietly told Cornelia that he thought the Head Girl must have overslept. Cordelia had been extremely understanding, letting him know she would wait to start and suggest the group grab an extra coffee or tea in the meantime.

Theo ran up to their tower after grabbing a coffee and a scone for her. He charmed the drink so as not to spill and took the stairs two at a time, hoping that she was just hungover and not hurt or actually ill.

She had come out of her room looking alright, even if her hair was still a dreadful mess. The smell of multiple potions on her breath still lingered as he handed over the coffee. He promised himself he would never not check on her again, even if he thought she would get irritated with him for invading her privacy.

Theo would have never forgiven himself if something serious had been wrong. He needed to be a better roommate. Hermione was clearly drinking alone and there was no reason for that. He was perfectly capable of drinking with her, as was Pansy for that matter. Draco could have done as well, but he'd taken himself off to find Blaise and then fucked off to who knew where. Though, now that Theo thought back to breakfast, he didn't remember the blonde in question being very talkative either.

Draco seemed somewhat the worse for wear this morning, purple smudges under his eyes and a grim set to his mouth. He wasn't even hiding the fact that he kept staring at Granger. If she noticed, she wasn't showing it as she seemed determined to look anywhere but at Draco. Assuredly for the best, because if she did, the scowl on Draco's face was likely to frighten the witch off, not that their past history wasn't perfectly capable of doing that for itself. Something must have happened, Theo thought. Had they been somewhere together last night? He'd have to watch closely and see if the energy that swirled between the two of them had changed, Draco seemed even more intent on her than normal. Which, considering his level of obsession with Hermione, was really saying something.

Cordelia had already started her circle discussion of regrets, and while watching Hermione and Draco, Theo had missed the full instructions. What a bloody pleasant topic to start the morning.

"My biggest regret," Susan stammered tearfully, "is that I didn't get my aunt to leave Godric's Hollow and go into hiding. I sent her an owl and went to see her, but I should have pushed harder. Maybe if I had, she would still be alive, ya know?"

Cordelia made some sympathetic noises, but imparted, "The only person responsible for your aunt's death, is the person who killed her, Susan. It's human to regret not saving someone in retrospect, but there was no way for you to have known what was going to happen. You are no seer. Wait, is anyone in the group a seer?" Most of the group shook their heads.

"My mother," Luna raised her hand, "said my father was one when he was young, but lost the ability after I was born."

"Oh good. Not about your father Luna, just it's easier to run a group if there are no seers. Things muggle mind healers never have to deal with," Cordelia joked. Chuckles and laughter spread through the circle, some of the tension flowing out of the participants. Cordelia gestured to the next student to continue.

"My biggest regret is that someone else killed Bellatrix Lestrange," Longbottom stared at the flagstones, seemingly unaware of the absolute stillness that had fallen over the others at his words. "After everything she did. She destroyed my family. She hurt people I care about and I wish that it had been me to avada her." He looked over at Draco, "Sorry Malfoy - I know she was your aunt."

"Honestly Longbottom," Draco proffered sincerely, "you could have taken the words out of my mouth. She destroyed my family too and hurt people I care about, terrorized my mother. She was an utter madwoman. I am jealous you got to behead that bloody snake. You can't imagine living with that demonic thing."

Theo had only had the displeasure of meeting Bellatrix LeStrange the handful of times she had visited Nott Manor. He didn't think he'd ever forget the cruel look in her eyes. She would have joyfully killed him if the idea had taken her fancy. However, knowing how Draco had felt about that snake, there was a great deal of open honesty from the Malfoy heir about his envy. Certainly more than Theo was used to seeing in such a public setting.

"Is that your regret Draco?" asked Mind Healer Cordelia.

Draco shudders, and it takes him a long time to say "No. No. Mine is more of a snowball of regrets. I didn't do enough. I let people be hurt….in ...in...my home and here...at Hogwarts... and I didn't do enough. Nothing could ever be enough." Draco bit his lip and looked at the sky, and Theo saw Draco's gaze go cold as his occlumency shields went up.

Pansy had tears dripping down her face while she looked over at Draco. Pansy looked over at Granger who Theo was pleased to see was finally looking at Draco with a mixture of disbelief and surprise. Pansy and Luna shared a look, because they knew who else was on that list of those that were hurt that Draco was talking about. Luna reached over to Thomas who was sitting next to her and held his hand, the shared experience rolling over them. Theo knew they had been together in the Malfoy dungeons for weeks together.

Was it more than that? No.

Theo was nearly positive that Thomas and Finnegan were in a monogamous gay entanglement. He'd put galleons on it.

Mind Healer Cordelia walked over to Draco and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention. "Draco, can I remind you please that occlumency is not allowed in our circle. You did take a vow and it's not good for your healing." The healer said in a low voice, trying to give Draco a little privacy, even though the entire group could clearly hear what she'd said.

"I am really trying." Draco forced out, with his eyes still looking upwards.

"I know. Don't give up. You can do this," the healer encouraged. Draco took a deep breath and closed his eyes as his body shuddered with the drop of his occlumency shields.

Draco exhaled and with his eyes still closed, "I have more regrets than things I don't regret." He said finally. Healer Cordelia waited a few more moments to make sure that Draco didn't occlude again, before she seemed satisfied that he was going to be able to stay present.

Once Cordelia gave Blaise the go ahead, and he took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. Crossing his arms over his chest before uncrossing them again and resting his forearms on his thighs, he finally spoke. "I regret coming back to Hogwarts last year. Bad as it sounds, I wish I would have stayed in Italy. Yeah, maybe I would feel guilty about not being there then, but at least I wouldn't have seen it. Wouldn't have had to deal with the Carrows and their psychotic punishments. The battle itself is the worst, I regret seeing so many bodies, smelling so much death. I don't think I will ever get that out of my head. And I'd honestly rather not see Thestrals thank you."

Dean asked, "But weren't you locked in the dungeon for the battle?"

The Slytherins exchanged glances as they realized that Draco letting their house out of the dungeons during the battle remained a secret. They had been sure that Filch would have told someone, well anyone really. Then again, the caretaker did always do his own thing, so maybe it wasn't really all that surprising.

Blaise laughed, "You really think putting Slytherins in the dungeon was going to keep us confined? I called my house elf." Pansy and Theo also chuckled, as if the fabricated story was exactly what had happened for them too. Theo gave Draco a look out of the corner of his eye, and saw that his blonde friend was smirking. The only indication he was nervous was a slight tap of his foot.

"And what side did you fight on Zabini?" Thomas hissed, clearly taking offense to the laughter.

Mindhealer Cordelia tried to intervene saying that wasn't the point, but neither of the boys took notice of her.

"The side that didn't rape and crucio my friends for two bloody years, Thomas." Blaise snapped at the Gryffindor, he leaned forward in his chair, as if he were preparing himself for an attack.

"You may think that it was all sunshine and bleeding unicorns on the Dark side, but we didn't have any bloody biscuits. I don't think anyone in this whole circle was happier than me that the Dark Lord lost except Pans, Theo, and fucking Draco. Drake had to live with that psychopath in his fucking house!" Blaise was now shouting at this point.

Cordelia had stopped trying to interrupt as she saw the looks of shock on the faces of Dean, Neville and Hannah. She felt like this was making some of the therapeutic headway she hoped for. They were making connections.

Theo nodded, seeing the look on his fellow Head's face. "I know it may be hard to imagine, but my father is a nightmare. He didn't hide his evil from me. In fact, I was constantly an embarrassment because I didn't want to rape, murder and torture muggles and muggleborns. My regret is absolutely not defying him more."

Pansy shot him a glare from her seat. "He would have fucking killed you Theo. He almost did more than once as it was." She hissed, clearly not entertained by his nonchalant proclamation.

Theo realized that Hermione was looking at him like this new information was shocking despite the story he had told yesterday. Her eyebrows were raised so high that they were hidden under the curly hairs that had fallen out of her bun. Yeah, it wasn't a one off, he wanted to tell her. My father almost killed me regularly, please Salazar don't pity me, Hermione.

Draco's jaw was clenched and he looked like he was trying to count his breaths so he stayed calm and in his seat. The sound of his knuckles popping as the blonde gripped his hands at his side, the hidden signs of Draco's barely leashed anger. Draco was moments away from standing and yelling at him.

Blaise, on the other hand, was looking on impassively. Theo recognized his difficulty with conflict, Blaise was shutting down, unable to deal with the thought of Theo's father killing him. Going home every holiday to a mother that repeatedly disposed of her husbands had definitely taught Blaise how not to let his emotions show.

Theo shrugged. "Maybe, but then I would have died for something. Something meaningful."

Pansy looked livid as she shouted, "You would still have been bloody dead, you wanker."

"Pansy, remember our agreements. No name calling. Supportive comments only please. "

"But Cordelia, I mean it with love," Pansy tossed back, stretching out the last word dramatically and tossing her hair.

"Pansy." Cordelia said with firmness.

"Fine" Pansy said in her 'this isn't over' tone. "Theo, I am glad you aren't dead. Now you can find something to live for instead of die for and not be a bloody wanker by talking about wishing your father had killed you by doing more to piss him off."

Theo looked at Pansy smiling. He already knew exactly the kinds of things he was currently living for: the look that would be on Pansy's face when he replaced her toy bag, the moment of explosion when Draco and Hermione finally broke the sexual tension between them, Draco's rough kisses, the chance to smell Hermione's skin again, a good smoke and a strong drink. Yes, all those things were exactly what he was living for right now and made him glad that his father hadn't offed him.

Hermione's eyes flickered again between Theo and Pansy and then to Draco; Theo could almost hear her brain working as she tried to figure out which one of the two Slytherin boys Pansy was dating.

"Alright thank you Pansy, but can you share your regret with us? Let's try to stay on track, even though we are jumping around the circle a bit. Remember it can be anything. No judgments."

Pansy looked at Luna who had been watching the interchanges between Blaise, Theo and Pansy with interest.

"I don't want to share specifics," Pansy said finally. "I just regret what happened when you were at that place with me, Luna." Cordelia looked over at Luna.

"And Luna?"

"I regret distracting Pansy in that place where I was with her, then maybe other things would have happened differently."

The Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs in their therapy circle were so confused, but if the group had taught them anything, it was that everything shared didn't apply to everyone.

"Remember Luna, we aren't responsible for the actions and reactions of others, only our own. I think we will stop there for today and those who haven't shared, can have some time to talk about it tomorrow. I'm going to pass out some materials and then Luna, Pansy and Draco can you three stay behind for a bit, please?"

Cordelia passed out black journals to the group, levitating one to each of the students with their names embossed in gold on the cover and instructed them to start writing in them today. She smiled as she explained that they could choose anywhere on the Hogwarts grounds to write.

"For your first entry, I want you to tell me the story of your name, whatever that might be and the things that you tell yourself about who that is," Cordelia said in her soothing manner, "you can share what you have written with me in individual counseling if you like, but these journals are primarily for you to work on the concepts that we are addressing here in the group and feelings that they bring up for you."

"Each journal is charmed so that only you can read what you have written there unless you give someone express consent to read it. The charm to give that consent is printed in the back of the journal. They also have an anti-loss charm, so if you leave it somewhere it should show back up near you within a few hours. That particular charm isn't as consistent as I would like," Cordelia said, "if anyone gets an idea on how to improve it, please let me know. Also the journals can't be destroyed in malice or anger. It just won't work, but we may destroy them later in the year as part of an activity. As the muggles say, stay tuned for more information."

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As Hermione walked away with her new journal clutched in her hands, she looked back and saw Draco's eyes glassy with tears as Cordelia spoke softly to the three remaining behind. Her hand was on Draco's arm, his left, like the Dark mark wasn't there just hidden by his shirt.

Pansy and Luna were crying and hugging each other and Hermione felt the awful sense that she was watching something private that she shouldn't but couldn't seem to look away.

And then Draco looked up and their eyes locked, and she couldn't take her feelings of guilt so she ran. She ran all the way to the Heads' dorm, threw herself on the couch and lay staring at the ceiling wondering when everything had gotten so confusing. It was simpler when the Slytherins were the bad guys who embraced evil. None of them were like they were before the war, full of anger and hate. They were all broken. Like her.

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After over an hour where he was forced to write about how his father named Theo after himself, he had to admit he had had a lucky break not to be named Thoros or Theodoros.

Who was Theodore Nott, Head of the Ancient and Noble House of Nott? He was in Slytherin like countless Notts before him. He was Head Boy. He preferred to be called Theo. He felt ashamed of being his father's son, maybe he wanted to be the end of his house. There was no sense of how to be a good father inside of him, what did good fathers do? How did they talk to their sons or how did they show they loved their daughters? So if his house ended with him, then what? Who was Theo Nott without his noble house? He batted for both sides. He didn't believe in monogamy and thought ethical consensual non-monogamy was more realistic. Two of his best friends might go to Azkaban in just a few weeks and there was nothing he could do about it despite all his galleons. He would never be able to get work as a curse breaker for the Ministry because of his thrice blasted name. His name that was nothing more than a symbol of his inheritance, a heritage of brutal murder and blood prejudice.

Once he had finished writing about his name, Theo was grateful that therapy was over for the day and joined Blaise at one of the round tables. He noticed that there were only eight tables now, enough for people to still spread out, but more of a push for them to start eating together. He looked around and realized that Drake once again had disappeared during lunch, he almost never ate a mid-day meal. Tapping his fingers on the table, Theo tried to think of ways to entice Draco to join them. He had gained back a lot of weight from 6th year, but he was still too thin for the size of his frame and the amount that Theo knew that Draco exercised hoping to make it back onto the Slytherin Quidditch team this year.

"Nott, Zabini," Neville called, "Is it okay if we join you?" The Gryffindor stood awkwardly a meter away from the table, Thomas and Finnegan even more nervous behind him.

"Absolutely Longbottom," Theo winked, "inter-house unity and all that."

Theo was surprised when Thomas turned to Blaise and stated, "Mate, I'm really sorry for being an arse in the therapy circle."

After spending more time in the Muggle world going to concerts with Blaise, Theo had realized how white Hogwarts was and how much skin colour affected people in the Muggle World. As he looked from Dean to Blaise he realized that other than Harper Silvanus, a fifth year Slytherin, they were the only black men at the school. Theo wondered if the two of them had ever spoken directly before today.

Blaise said, "There was no way you could have known. It's not like we were advertising what a nightmare it was on our end."

Neville looked at Theo and Blaise, "I know none of you were really on Voldemort's side. Some of the first years told me about the nerve blocking spell. How when you four were running the punishments Malfoy talked to the kids in their minds and told them to pretend that it hurt."

Theo shrugged, "It's hardly a secret now that the former powers that be are either dead or in Azkaban."

"We all just did what we could," Blaise admitted, pouring himself some coffee, "and sometimes it was frustratingly little."

"Still, it was pretty Gryffindor of you all," Thomas pointed out, smiling, "I just wish I had known about it then."

"We let you sit with us snakes, don't go insulting us now," Theo groused.

"We swore all the first years to secrecy. If word had gotten out the four of us would have been as good as dead, Draco most of all," Blaise sipped his coffee, "No offense, but the only reason the Come and Go Room stayed a secret so long was because we covered for your arses. There wasn't much we could do when Edgecombe defected, though."

"I made sure it couldn't be found by those who supported the Carrows last year," Longbottom said, "We called it the Room of Requirement though. I just required it not to be found. It's too bad about the fiendfyre, it was a useful spot."

Blaise and Theo shared a look, both thinking of Vince and looking over at the bitter and angry version of Goyle eating alone in the corner. Too bad about the fiendfyre indeed.

Theo took a drink of his tea, "I wonder if it will ever go out on its own, or if it will just burn forever."

"Nothing burns forever," Blaise stated prosaically.

"Some things do," Thomas proclaimed, as he grabbed Finnegan's hand and clutched it on top of the table in full view of the Slytherins.

Theo watched Longbottom as he flushed and looked back and forth between the two Slytherins like he was expecting them to say or do something awful.

"So you two, huh? Can't say I didn't suspect after you almost took a swing at me on the train, Finnegan," Theo grinned.

The young Irishman replied, "Yea since 5th year, some of the blokes in our house are homophobic tossers, but life is too fucking short yeah. And if there is ever a time to be out its bloody therapy camp. Can't imagine Mind Healer Atticus would put up with any of that shite."

"Cordelia either," Dean added, "If anything she is supportive to a fault."

"Life is certainly too short," Theo laughed, visions of Drake tied to his bed, his cock hard, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure dancing in his mind.

"Slytherin is pretty queer and if people aren't — I am straight, for instance — we try to be good allies." Blaise said, looking sideways at Theo " I certainly don't wanna out anyone, but ...you definitely aren't alone."

Theo laughed "Fucking subtle Blaise, like a gold brick wrapped in lemon." He stood up on his chair, bowed with one arm raised and announced loudly "Theo Nott, Queer. I like the ladies and the lads and I am ethically non-monogamous." He raised an eyebrow at Blaise. "And as your Head Boy, I am happy to be supportive of any relationship you find yourselves in. Please reach out if you need peer support, advice or reading recommendations about consensual non monogamy, etcetera." He bowed again, and waved at a couple of the prettier witches in the room.

He sat down to the absolute stares of his table mates, most of the Great Hall including McGonagall and Filch, the latter who looked as if he was going to have an apoplexy. McGonagall was rubbing her temples as though she had a splitting headache suddenly. "What? My father's in Azkaban forever. I am head of my Ancient and Noble House, having been accepted by the Ministry and Gringotts. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Someone could write to the prophet?" Pansy said as she sat down next to Blaise, Luna beside her. Theo noticed Blaise eyeing Luna appreciatively as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and sat, leaning over to grab some strawberries, suggestively taking a bite, seemingly unaware of the tightness in Blaise's face as he swallowed repeatedly. Theo smothered his own laughter, with a fake cough behind his hand.

"Ah hello Pans, Luna," Theo said. "Ah but would that be that bad? Perhaps my bastard father would read it and drop dead from an ann-you-riz-um."

Dean was evidently startled to hear such a term coming from Pureblood Theo Nott. "That some muggle medical science, Nott, how'd you learn about aneurysms?"

Theo chuckled, "Blaise introduced me to muggle medical shows on the telly when I went to Italy with him last year. Some of the doctors are rather naughty, especially on the Yank dramas."

"You have a television?" asked Seamus, shocked.

Blaise shrugged. "The guard tower at the villa has electricity, it's far enough from the house that it works fairly well. Makes sense to have a television there." Blaise was acting like this was not a big deal, but for a pureblood wizard to have a muggle appliance, it was quite shocking. Suffice it to say, Dean and Seamus' minds were blown. Neville, whose grandmother and parents had all been in the Order, still had never even been in a muggle dwelling nor watched television. For all that his family was progressive, they still had very little interaction with muggles or muggleborn families.

"Television is grand and all, but do you lads know about Death Metal?" Theo put his forearms on the table and leaned towards the Gryffindors. Pansy snorted and turned toward Luna as Blaise started throwing his two Sickles in about Italian muggle music festivals. Dean and Seamus smiled at each other and shared all about the music fest they'd attended in Norwich in '97. This led to Dean promising to bring his CD of Sneakerpimps and the Walkman to Theo to see if it could be powered by magic.

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The cadaver teams were working in the area where the wall had collapsed on Fred Weasley and it was still quite unstable so McGonagall had insisted that there be no observers today so the professors could concentrate on keeping the recovery team safe. The greenhouses, the temporary owlery, and some tapestry repair with Professor Trelawney were all offered up as alternatives to magical masonry for the day.

Blaise was deeply disappointed to not be able to watch, and ignored the Headmistress' instructions long enough to locate his cousin and her husband who was in animagus form, the big dog bumping Blaise's hand with his nose, until he gave him some scratches behind the ears.

Lucia laughingly said, "Behave amore mio. Blaise, perhaps we can do dinner in Hogsmeade? Our contract is only for a week. I will try to get permission for your friends Draco and Pansy to come too. We have multiple DMLE contracts. We must count as an appropriate chaperone.

Nessuna promessa, ma faremo quello che possiamo cugino."

"Grazie cugina. Mi dispiace non poterti guardare lavorare oggi."

"It's no matter. Find something safer to do, your mother would not be pleased to have you doing dangerous work and you her only son." Lucia chided, "Maybe there is a pretty girl you could help somewhere around, hmm?"

Blaise looked off and saw Lovegood talking with Longbottom on the path that led to the greenhouses. "Yes Lucia, I suspect that there is, at that." And he gave Hans a good pat, and a quick embrace for his cousin and headed off after the girl he hadn't been able to get out of his mind since the day before.

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Hermione discovered Draco Malfoy in the library learning book repair spells from Madam Pince. She hid behind the bookcase, listening to the nicest tone she had ever heard Madam Pince use as the witch walked Draco through the steps to diagnose the severity of damage and then if repairable which charms to use to fix the antique books himself.

"Perhaps you'll pursue a career as a librarian Mr Malfoy, " Madam Pince laughed. Hermione didn't think she had ever heard the stern woman laugh and she'd been haunting the library for years.

"If I don't go to Azkaban, Madam Pince," Draco murmured, "then I am lucky enough to have my own library, which I will definitely be more hands-on with if I am so lucky as to escape a long sentence."

"Do you think it likely, Mr Malfoy?" she asked, sitting another damaged book in front of him.

"I think it is as likely as unlikely. I can't imagine much sympathy for a marked Death Eater in the current political climate," Draco acknowledged, as he cast the spell to repair the binding of the ancient tome.

"Book repair charms are delicate work. It takes precision and talent. It would be quite the waste of your skills if you went to Azkaban, Mr Malfoy." Madam Pince informed the Slytherin, her voice prim.

"Hopefully the Wizengamot agrees."

Hermione found herself hoping the same thing as she stood pressed against the bookcase listening to Malfoy and Madam Pince's easy conversation about book restoration. Yet again today, the world seemed to shift on its axis. How much of Draco Malfoy's persona over the years had been an illusion? Or was this new version of Malfoy a deception?

More and more it seemed like Hermione had never known him at all. The image of him from earlier with tears in his eyes haunted her and she snuck back out of the library using silencing charms on the door so that the occupants never realized they had had an eavesdropper.

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After lunch, Pansy took the staircase up to the former classroom that hosted Mindhealer Cordelia for the appointment she had for individual therapy. Her hands shook a little as she knocked, and hearing Cordelia's voice, Pansy pushed the door open and went inside.

Cordelia had transformed the old classroom into a welcoming space with blue rugs and a few chairs and a settee. There were live plants all over the room, their green leaves and vines giving the room a pleasant energy.

"Pansy, welcome to my new office. Please sit wherever you like," Cordelia said, waiting for Pansy to choose a seat. Once Pansy chose a chair that faced the window overlooking the Black Lake, Cordelia chose a seat across from her. "Now Pansy, this is our first individual session, so I want to ask you some questions. I like to use a quick quotes quill for therapeutic notes, so that I can be fully present with you, but having notes helps me review and plan for your next appointment. Is that something that you are comfortable with?"

"Yes, yes. That's fine. No one else sees the notes?" Pansy asked, chewing on her fingernail.

"Certainly not. I have them charmed to only be able to be read by me, and keep them in a cabinet with a blood ward on it. Your confidentiality means a great deal to me personally and professionally," Cordelia said, putting her ebony hands on her crossed knee, her green healer robes flowing and pooling around her feet.

"Now, I know we talked a bit with Draco and Luna today. I am hoping that you have come to discuss some of the trauma we touched on today?" The quick quotes quill floated behind her and began scratching at the scroll also floating in the air.

Pansy took a steadying breath, "Yes. Yes. I know I need to talk to someone about what happened over last Christmas hols. Luna was there when it happened, and Draco was there for the aftermath, and they both are trying very hard to be supportive, but…"

"But?" Cordelia asked.

Pansy looked out the window, "I don't want either of them to know how close I am to shattering. I feel like I am made out of Venetian glass. One wrong move and I am just going to break apart." Her fingernails tapped out a beat against her leg, her short black dress just long enough to cover the scars that bisected her thighs. The scars that she had had Theo teach her how to glamour, just like he did the scars and burns all over his chest and back.

"Are you ready to talk about what happened, Pansy?" Cordelia asked.

"The rape? Yeah. So my dad signed a marriage contract for me with Corban Yaxley who is older than my dad and murdered at least two wives already. Death Eater. Absolute dodgy maggot. So…I refused to do it…And my dad is a lot of things, but he didn't potion or Imperius curse me to go along with the wedding. He wanted my enthusiastic consent. I mean why? I don't even know. For the illusion? So he could pretend that he was a good father and that I was happy? It's not like he didn't know I preferred women. I have been caught with them often enough."

Cordelia nodded, "Do you identify as lesbian, Pansy?"

"I used to; I was a goldstar before the assault. Still not too keen about the idea of being the bottom, but I have a …thing now with Theo." Cordelia nodded.

"So your family wasn't supportive of your preference and arranged a marriage with a known abuser of women who was significantly older than you, and then wanted you to pretend to be pleased with the match?" Cordelia paraphrased.

"That about covers it, yeah." Pansy said, "I didn't play the dutiful daughter, so I was forced to join the snatchers that worked for the Dark Lord. And after delivering some poor Muggleborn bastard that was stupid enough to say the Dark Lord's name to Malfoy Manor, I discovered that Luna was being held there. While we were …uh..catching up, Yaxley found me there in the dungeon and took his anger out on me for refusing to go through with the contract."

Pansy took a ragged breath, "Luckily he knocked me out, so I missed most of it. I woke up bloody and almost dead. Draco found me and got me taken care of. His mum helped; we're pretty close now. Mrs Malfoy took charge of my healing and kept me hidden in her private quarters until it was time to return to Hogwarts in January. She even got in a fight with my mum when she told her what had happened to me, and my mum's only concern was that no one else would offer me a new contract. Honestly I have never seen her angry, she's always so poised and calm. It was a bit eerie. I've never had an adult upset on my behalf."

"It sounds like she was a really positive adult in your life during a really difficult time."

"She was... We had… a great deal in common. And it was nice to have someone to talk to who understood. Her marriage to Draco's father was arranged and it isn't particularly happy. I mean she loves Draco, but…being Sacred 28 isn't really all that great for women, you know."

"I'm aware, yes," Cordelia nodded, "arranged marriages, abusive husbands and patriarchal control of assets makes it almost impossible for women to escape their domestic abuse, which isn't even illegal under current Wizarding law in Britain. We're horribly behind muggles in that regard. In fact, there is only one domestic violence safe house for witches in Europe and it's in Romania of all places, hardly easily accessible."

"I knew about it not being a crime. In fact, Yaxley didn't even rape me legally speaking. We had a signed marriage contract, that we hadn't had the wedding yet was immaterial. Of course though, once I wasn't a virgin, he revoked his consent to the contract, which is grand because he's in Azkaban forever. Not for what he did to me mind, or even the other wives he murdered. No justice for any of us."

Tears began to spill down Pansy's cheeks. Cordelia levitated a handkerchief over to her.

"How do you feel about all of it now?"

"I feel like I am constantly crying now. I get scared in the dungeon and have basically moved in with Theo in the Head's Dorm. I have nightmares. I can't fall asleep if I am alone in my bed. I am always looking behind me and men I don't know scare me now. I used to be angry all the time but now it seems to be replaced with sadness. I used to be tough, now I'm just bawling at every drop of a bloody hat." Pansy wiped at her tears.

"Pansy, you are a survivor. You went through a very difficult experience and here you are, healing and talking through it. None of that is easy. Crying is a completely reasonable response and there's nothing wrong with it."

Pansy nodded and wiped at her face. "I'd like to talk about something else for a while if that's okay."

"Of course. So, you said that you were staying in Theo's room. Don't worry I won't be telling anyone about that. He is Head Boy, right? So his room is more private? And also the dungeons appear to be a trigger for you?"

"Yes, his room is more private. Granger is his only roommate and they have private bedrooms.

Being in the dungeons is exceptionally hard for me right now." Pansy was leaving out how Goyle had threatened to assault her; she was sure that Cordelia would feel the need to get McGonagall and the DMLE involved. It was unlikely anyone would believe her anyways; she didn't want it to work against her in her own trial. It wasn't worth it.

"Are you in a sexual relationship with Theo?" Cordelia asked.

"So, sleeping in bed with Theo isn't new. I slept with him in bed most of last year, because Draco was gone so often. Draco was my go-to pretend boyfriend for years, but in 6th year he got Marked and really isolated himself so Theo stepped up and then we got a bit serious after Daphne and I broke up. Emotionally I mean. I was considering that maybe I wanted to shag him, then the rape just before Christmas. And that kind of ruined that."

"I see," Cordelia said, "so you have a solely emotional relationship with Theo?"

Pansy blushed, "Not exactly. How much do you know about kink? BDSM?"

"Well," Cordelia said thoughtfully, her long dark finger tapping her cheek. "I consider myself to be a sex-positive feminist, but there are definitely some parts of the dynamic of the heterosexual female submissive I find personally triggering to be frank."

"Well, that's hardly an issue, as I am Theo's domme and have been for nearly two years. So he submits to me, definitely never the other way. So since Daphne and I split at the end of 6th year, he and I have been working at more than just a scene only relationship."

"So this started while you were still dating Daphne? Was she aware of your relationship with Theo?"

"She was. In theory, I guess. She wasn't really interested in understanding what kink was about. She was an utterly vanilla pillow princess. She's marrying some French Pureblood boy her parents picked out, probably going to lie back and think of the bloodline when it comes to the marriage night. She even sent me a wedding invite, so polite of her. Anyway, once she found out the kind of heavy play Theo and I are into, she kind of lost it. It was an ugly break up. Closeted dyke drama for sure."

"Heavy play?" Cordelia asked, her face an impassive mask.

"Do you really want to know? We both like pain and blood play, restraints - that kind of thing. Daphne wasn't even up for a light spanking, so all of that definitely freaked her out. If you talk with my auror supervisor, they took all my kink toys and won't give them back, so that will definitely give you a sense of what we were about."

"Ah, but it's all consensual? Theo enjoys it as much as you do?"

"Absolutely, maybe even more than I do. He doesn't really ever let anyone else take the lead," Pansy said a little shyly.

"Well I don't see any issues, but I will work on getting more informed Pansy so that if other things related to your kink relationship come up in therapy, you won't need to educate me on basics."

Pansy looked at Cordelia shocked, "You'd do that? You don't think I am some sort of freak?"

"Certainly not," Cordelia said, "I think you are using your bdsm activities to empower yourself in a world where you feel powerless, and rightfully so I might add. So is your relationship with Theo an exclusive one?"

"Oh, no," Pansy shook her head, "He's definitely seeing other people, at least one bloke for sure. He's super into ethical non-monogamy. Luna too, not sure which of them found out about it first, honestly."

"And are you okay with that? Him seeing other people?"

"Yeah? I mean honestly I'd love a girlfriend. Theo is grand and all, and being into blokes, he definitely has some less than traditionally masculine energy at times, but there's just something about having a woman in your arms, the sweet smell of her, and their lips and a nice wet…" Pansy blushed darkly, embarrassed at where her tongue had gone.

"I see, " Cordelia said with no visible reaction, "Would you like to share anything about your female partners to date?"

"Sure. I mean I like women loads, but I've always been kind of lonely in my romantic relationships with them. In 4th year, I dated a 7th year Ravenclaw prefect Win, she was my first girlfriend. She introduced me to kink. In retrospect, I realize she picked me out because I looked like her girlfriend who had finished Hogwarts the previous year. I don't know how she could tell that I was a domme though, what if I hadn't been? Dating her was a very educational experience."

"So you were… what… 14 or 15 and she was nearly 18 when you were dating?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right but we split after she left school. Pretty sure she moved right in with the girl I reminded her of. After that I dated Luna in fifth year. We broke up because you can't have two dommes in the bedroom, no one wants to submit. We tried switching, but neither of us was happy, so we decided we were better as friends. Plus fifth year there was all that drama with Umbitch and Luna was in DA, and I was on the inquisitorial squad. I think maybe we would have tried a little longer to make it work if there wasn't all that outside bullshite, but honestly the end result would have been the same. I'm glad we made it through everything as friends."

"Last year everything was horrible. The Carrows making us have to curse the little first years or getting Cruciatus cursed all the time. I just, I just didn't have it in me to invest in anyone other than Theo and Draco. It just kind of felt like we were going to die, you know?"

Cordelia nodded, "It had to be hard to open yourself to anyone new when you thought that you all might die. It's difficult to look towards tomorrow in the middle of a war, and it's normal to just be in the moment. That's one of the ways you'll know if you are really healing."

"What is?" Pansy asked.

"When you start to imagine what you want your future to be and draft plans to make it happen."

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The greenhouses had had very little structural damage during the Battle, so the majority of the damage had been shattered glass and then destruction of the racks, plants and miscellaneous odds and ends inside.

Blaise pushed open the door to the greenhouse where he could see the silhouettes of multiple people inside. Theo, Longbottom and Lovegood were clustered around the frumpy Head of Hufflepuff. Professor Sprout was outlining what she'd like done: broken glass cleaned up, furnishings repaired, non-poisonous dead plants out to the compost pile and an inventory of the survivors.

"Ah Mr. Zabini, are you joining our clean up crew here today?" Professor Sprout asked, a twinkle in her eye. Blaise rubbed his neck under her scrutiny, remembering the time when she had caught him with his cock deep in some random Ravenclaw in 6th year.

"Yes, Professor, if that would be alright," Blaise responded nonplussed.

"Absolutely fine, Mr. Zabini. Let's make sure everyone stays properly attired in the greenhouse this time, however," quipped Professor Sprout, turning to pull out some gloves for the students.

"Has that been a problem in the past, Blaise?" Theo inquired, "Keeping your clothes on in the greenhouse?" Blaise sighed, but the sight of Lovegood's pale blue eyes intent on his face from over Theo's shoulder pushed him to give his mate an answer.

"In the past, I may have enjoyed a more natural state in the greenhouses, which can be quite invigorating, with proper companionship," Blaise replied, making sure to speak loud enough that the pretty blonde Ravenclaw could hear him. Theo's wide grin stretched his face, chuckling as he threw his arm around Blaise's shoulders.

"Blaise," Theo exclaimed, "I have to hear more about the benefits of enjoying a natural state in the greenhouse, perhaps over a firewhisky later?"

"I am going to pretend that I didn't just hear that Mr. Nott," scolded Professor Sprout, handing gloves to each of the young people, except Theo. "Although you all are adults, which is hard at times to remember. Mr. Longbottom, you are in charge of this team while I attend to our friend in Greenhouse Six." Giving the two Slytherins a skeptical look, Professor Sprout left the greenhouse with a harrumph.

"Neville?" Luna asked, curiously, "who is your friend imprisoned in Greenhouse Six? That seems a bit beyond the pale."

"What?" Longbottom asked, clearly confused, "No, no Luna it isn't a person, it's the venomous tentacula. It took Professor Sprout and I over a week to get it back into its enclosure. And its mood is still particularly foul."

Blaise couldn't help but chuckle at the idea of the venomous tentacula in a good mood, when would that be? If it got to eat someone perhaps.

"Pretty fierce aren't you Longbottom," Theo drawled flirtatiously, moving near the Gryffindor and laying his hand on his arm, "slaying old Voldy's snake, battling a venomous tentacula with only Sprout for help. What other sorts of monsters are you prepared to handle?" Blaise nearly groaned at the blatant line, but Lovegood caught his attention by shaking her head in Theo's direction and then she rolled her eyes, pulling on her gloves and beginning to tidy overturned racks of plants.

Slipping on a pair of gloves, Blaise began to help her with this task. He concentrated on doing the heavier work while she focused on the smaller details. Blaise was hyper aware of every breath and movement the petite blonde made. He was thinking about how he thought he could completely encircle her slim waist with his hands, when he heard Longbottom cough awkwardly.

"Nott, as fine as I am with Dean and Seamus, I am not interested in wizards...that way. I am flattered, honestly. You are a good looking bloke really, but I um...like a particular witch. I wouldn't mind being friends though."

"Friends then, Longbottom," Theo agreed cheerfully, Blaise shook his head.

"Nothing keeps Theo down long," Lovegood whispered, apparently eavesdropping as much as he was.

"Neville," the tall dark-haired young man insisted, smiling at the Head Boy and handing him a pair of gloves.

"Theo, please call me Theo."

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At dinner, Draco realized the circular tables really weren't as bad as he had feared. So far there was still enough space for everyone to stick with their housemates and friends.

Draco found himself staring at his hands, their appearance causing his stomach to clench every time he looked at them. He had his father's hands; it was especially obvious now that his mum had given him the Malfoy signet ring. The memories of those hands striking him made him tremble.

He mentioned in passing that his hands looked too much like Lucius' to his friends. Pansy had immediately offered to paint his nails after dinner and he had accepted; Theo excitedly agreed to do it as well.

To take his mind off the difficulties he was having with his own body, Draco decided to write his mum a letter during the meal.

Dear Mum,

Hope everything is well. I am sorry I haven't owled sooner. Theo, Pansy and Blaise are all here for the camp. We have mind healing nearly every day. Theo is to be Head Boy or is already I suppose.

Hermione Granger is Head Girl. They share a common room. We have spoken a handful of times. How do I apologize to her, mum? I mean for…everything. I don't even know where to begin.

In other news, I have been volunteering in the library and helping with the books that were damaged. Perhaps you could organize a book drive amongst families with personal libraries to donate appropriate materials. Many of the older books do not look repairable.

There is a great deal of damage to the school and I am considering donating Malfoy Galleons to the reconstruction fund. I think it would look good for my trial, and Hogwarts needs the help. Thoughts?

Please send a reply with this owl.

Your loving son,

Draco

PS Theo says he misses you.

PPS Pansy asks if you could send some of those lavender bubbles you favor so she could use them here, if you are allowed.

PPPS Blaise asks if Signora Zabini has been in contact at all, she isn't responding to his owls.

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After spending some time in the library after dinner, Hermione decided that heading back to her dorm room was the best plan because then if she got drunk at least the walk would be shorter.

When she opened the door she was shocked to discover Pansy on her knees in front of Theo and it took several seconds of her opening and closing her mouth like a fish to realize that nothing untoward was happening, Pansy was just painting his nails black.

"Hullo Granger," Theo called, "Come and join us. I've got a bottle of firewhisky with your name on it." He said, holding up the bottle that was still sealed shut.

Draco next to Theo was looking on in interest at Pansy's hands as she applied the polish to Theo's nails, Blaise sat lounging in one of the seats in front of the fire.

"Yes Granger, come join us," Pansy said, giving her a wink, causing Hermione to blush, "once I paint these two wankers' nails, you can be up, Blaise already opted out."

"I don't mind a manicure, Pansy, but the only thing I am doing is a clear coat, which you don't have," Blaise complained, taking a drink of his firewhisky, "black nail polish isn't part of my aesthetic."

As Pansy finished painting Theo's nails, she used a drying charm and moved over to working on Draco's, kneeling in front of him between his legs. "Theo scoot back, give Granger room."

Hermione was still frozen in the doorway, trying to make sense of what she was looking at. Pansy looked back and saw Hermione looking like she had been hit with a Confundus charm. Sighing, she handed the bottle of polish to Theo, stood up and took Hermione's hand and sat her on the couch between Theo and Malfoy, who both slid towards the arms to give her room. Pansy patted Hermione on the cheek, "Good girl." Pansy gave her a smile and went back to painting Malfoy's nails. Hermione felt a surge of pleasure go through her at Pansy's words and the soft contact from her hand on her face. What the bloody hell.

But before she could examine the feeling too closely, Theo was handing her a glass of firewhisky. He smiled at her, flashing that left dimple that kept making her breathless. His fingers brushed hers as he handed her the drink and she felt the contact to her toes.

Hermione felt breathless, confused and overwhelmed, so she did the easiest thing, she took a deep drink of the firewhisky. Her eyes landed on Malfoy's long elegant hands, each nail slowly becoming glossy black. The dark nail polish looked great next to the two rings he wore on each hand. The thoughts of what she'd like those hands to do to her, where she'd like them to touch her, caused her to bite her lip and a blush to creep across her cheeks. She took another sip of her drink, hoping against hope that no one had noticed.

Merlin, she'd reacted to Pansy, Theo and sodding Malfoy all within the space of a breath. What was wrong with her? She looked up into Theo's sapphire gaze and found him grinning at her.

"Cheers Hermione," he said, clinking his glass with hers, encouraging her to take another drink. Drinking with the Slytherins already had the feeling of competitive debauchery and since Hermione's goal was nothing close to moderation this suited her fine.

Pansy finished up with Malfoy's nails, scooted between Hermione's legs, handing her drink off to Theo to hold. Hermione started to make a noise of protest, but changed her mind as Pansy caressed her hands, tingling exploded from where their skin had made contact. It felt nice, and she couldn't help but want Pansy to touch her more. Pansy smiled up at her, taking a long sip of her glass of red wine, before handing it off to Malfoy to hold, throwing him a sensual smile.

"Where did you get muggle nail polish, Pansy?" Hermione asked, curious.

"One of the Aurors supervising my house arrest," the kneeling woman replied, "She was trying to come up with things that muggles do well, and this was one of her first examples. She brought me this bottle so I could see what she was talking about. I admit I like the act of applying it to others. It's easier to charm my own nails." Hermione watched transfixed as Pansy applied the polish to each of her nails, one hand holding hers still as the other used the tiny brush, each nail going dark.

Excusing himself, Blaise stood up, finishing off the rest of his tumbler. "Well as fun as this is, if I drink anymore I will end up sleeping in the Hufflepuff dorms instead of the Slytherin ones." He said, his words sounding only slightly slurred.

"Because you'll get lost?" Hermione inquired, looking up at the stylish dark-skinned Italian Slytherin.

"Figuriamoci!" Blaise grinned at her, "No Granger, I will let one of the Hufflepuff girls drag me in and I do actually need my beauty sleep. Buona notte amici." He said, making the other three laugh.

"He isn't kidding about the beauty sleep. He has a moisturizing routine and a sleep mask," Theo leaned over and confided as Pansy finished up with Hermione's nails. Hermione chuckled at the image of Blaise Zabini in a sleep mask. Pansy cast the drying charm on Hermione's nails, then reached over and snatched her wine glass back from Malfoy. Pansy flopped onto the couch next to Hermione, landing half on Theo's lap. Leaning forward, Theo passed Hermione's drink back to her.

Hermione accepted it gratefully, smiling at Theo, but felt awkward as she watched him move Pansy's hair aside to place a gentle kiss on her shoulder. Hermione wondered how Malfoy felt about that; she didn't want to completely turn so she could see his face. He was next to her, leaning against the arm of the couch, a firewhisky of his own in his hand. He didn't appear any more tense than normal, so perhaps she had been wrong and it was Pansy and Theo that were the couple. She took a deep drink to cover her examination of their body language, they all seemed very intimate and comfortable with one another.

Theo leaned against the right arm of the couch, and Pansy was sideways, half in his lap. Hermione looked at the other chairs briefly and shrugged. They didn't have to be crammed on the couch, but it wasn't intolerable. Subtly looking over at Malfoy where he was examining the nail polish on his long elegant hands turning them this way and that.

Pansy swirled her glass of wine, "Let's make this interesting. Let's play 20 questions. Each person gets to ask the group 5 questions and we all have to answer honestly. I have some Veritaserum stashed in the snake pit, but I doubt we'll need it. I think we are all in our cups enough to tell the truth." She said, winking at Hermione again, "I think I'd rather like to get to know the golden girl."

Hermione looked at the snakes doubtfully. "No questions too scandalous?"

Pansy laughed, "I don't want to play for blackmail material Granger. I think we could all stand to get to know each other a bit better. I don't think you know us well and I definitely only know you as the Gryffindor Princess. And," Pansy topped off Hermione's whisky glass, tucking one of her curls behind her ear, "I can already see that that is a load of bullshite. You're not that girl, or at least not only that girl. And you can ask first." Pansy's hand lingered in Hermione's hair slightly longer than would constitute a casual touch; maybe it was the whiskey, but Hermione didn't mind it in the least.

She took another drink of her firewhisky and then a question she'd been wanting to ask anyways came to her. . "I know pureblood jewelry all has meaning, what does yours mean?" She said, pointing towards Draco's hands. She'd stared at his jeweled hands enough, that this would at least be an excuse for it.

Draco answered," The Malfoy signet is mine as Head of my House now that my father is in prison forever. These others - onyx, black tourmaline and black opal - have jinx and curse repellant charms on them."

Hermione grabbed the hand that he'd offered up and touched his fingers looking at each ring, turning them, stroking the stones. She realized she had crossed a line when she saw the surprised looks that Pansy and Theo were trading. Although Theo's look could only be described as pleased, his eyes half lidded and expression sensual. When she looked up into Draco's face, his expression was blank, but his pupils were huge. His eyes looked at her face, unblinking.

"Oh sorry, " Hermione sputtered, nervously taking another long drink of her firewhisky, and sinking back into her spot on the couch.

"Granger, you are more than welcome to touch my snake earrings," Pansy said, tilting her neck in Hermione's direction. "They were my great grandmother's," she purred, making Hermione rub her thighs together at the sound of her voice. "Her father had them made on the occasion of her being made Head Girl in the twenties. I think the style is called art nouveau."

Hermione surprisedly asked, "Art Nouveau? They were muggle made?" Leaning forward she touched Pansy's earring, then drunkenly her hand drifted upwards and found its way to Pansy's ear lobe, then the shell of her ear. Letting her hand wander, Hermione pretended to touch the snake's tail again but she was actually just fascinated by the soft ivory of the skin at Pansy's throat. Pansy's ragged inhale and goosebumps brought her back to herself and she pulled away.

Before Hermione could feel self-conscious, Theo thrust his signet ring adorned hand into her's so she could feel his jewelry as well. "It's the Nott Signet ring, I had the curses removed so it's safe for you to touch. The "N" is incised into a black onyx and the Goblin wrought filigree of the setting for the stone is a tiny knotted rope. It's always made me chuckle." Hermione turned his hand over so she could see the ring better.

"It's really very interesting," she said, "and that's your only piece of jewelry?" She tried to pretend innocence with her tone, but really she wanted to run her hands on any jewelry of his, no matter where it was.

"The one and only, but I have been considering getting some piercings if you get my meaning, " he grinned with a sparkle of mischief in his eye. Pansy smacked him in the ribs, but Hermione couldn't stop her mind from wandering about how he would look with piercings everywhere.

"What about you Hermione?" Theo asked, his voice pulling Hermione out of her thoughts. "Any jewelry? I know it was your question, but still, I would love to know."

"Not anymore, but you definitely don't know this: I wore Salazar Slytherin's cursed locket last year and it whispered evil things to me all the time. But goodness, it was a stunning example of a Goblin wrought antique. I have never really worn jewelry, let alone magical jewelry, and my only piece was an accursed horcrux rampant with Dark Magic," Hermione answered, fiddling with the hem of her sweater nervously, once she realized that she'd brought up the bloody war.

"Granger," Draco said, a shocked expression on his face, "you wore one of the Dark Lord's horcruxes? Around your neck? And it was Salazar Slytherin's locket?"

"Well yeah, the locket's whispers impacted me the least. So I wore it the most, especially after Ron left us."

"Weasley abandoned you and Saint Potter during the war?" Theo's question pulled Hermione's attention away from Draco and back to the brunette. He was flabbergasted, his mouth gaping open at this new bit of information that neither she nor Harry had ever shared.

"Yeah, can it be the next person's turn? I really don't want to talk about Ron." Hermione took another long drink, silently scolding herself for bringing him up at all, and missed the looks passed between the other three.

"Okay," Theo said, "My turn to ask a question. What's your favourite book?"

"Isn't yours Hogwarts: A History Granger?" Draco asked with a smirk playing at his lips. "It's the one you quote the most often."

Hermione smiled, fondly thinking of the book she often referenced. "Hogwarts A History is totally my comfort read, but my true favourite book is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. She was a muggle author. "

"Oh sweet Merlin," Pansy exclaimed in exasperation, "we know about Jane Austen, especially Pride and Prejudice. What do you recommend then to encourage affection, Drake?"

"Dancing," Draco said, "even if one's partner is barely tolerable." He was laughing in a way that surprised Hermione with the lightness of it. She was confused, and looked between the two of them.

"It's my favorite book too," Theo admitted sheepishly, "stop taking the piss out of me, you two yeah?"

Pansy was also laughing uncontrollably now. "We have had to listen to him read it out loud and discuss each passage for years, and that's nothing on poor Blaise who had to watch the muggle television performance of it. "

"The BBC miniseries?" Hermione asked shocked that Blaise had a television,

"Yeah in the guardhouse at the villa in Tuscany. It is almost a kilometer from the main house, so it's easy enough for the electricity to work there," Theo said, "Who is your favourite character? No, let me guess. Elizabeth?"

"Guilty," Hermione laughed, enjoying having someone to finally talk to about her favorite read. "And who is yours?"

"Difficult to say. I love to hate Wickham. Mr. Bingley is probably the closest to me in the story, but Mr. Darcy is probably my favourite, because I'm sure he had a huge cock." Hermione nearly choked on her drink as she had not been expecting it. Malfoy obviously had been as he rolled his eyes at Theo.

"And that's enough out of you, Theodore Tiberius Nott, drink your whisky," Pansy arched an eyebrow and Theo bowed in acquiescence. "If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

"I've always wanted to visit Egypt," Theo enthused, "I'd love to apprentice to one of the curse breakers there. The wizards of Ancient Kemet really went all in when it came to curses and theirs are some of the most difficult to break in the world."

"My mum is from Vietnam. She has a huge family there," Pansy said, "I've never met any of them besides my aunt who lives in France and would love to go." As she spoke, there was a bit of a far away look in her eyes, as if she were imagining what it would be like to be surrounded by family.

"Muggle art museum world tour," Draco said, shocking Hermione to her core. Had she ever known him? "I've been to all the museums in London and Paris, but there are so many more. I would like to see all the great ones. There's one in New York City, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, it's one of the top on my list."

Once Draco had finished speaking, Hermione realized it was her turn. Taking a sip from her glass for a little more liquid courage, "Australia," Hermione answered. She shook her head when Theo raised his eyebrow at her nonverbally asking for more details. Luckily, Pansy shrugged and gestured at Draco to go next.

"What would you want your animagus form to be? And I guess this has a second part, would you ever be interested in going through the process?" Draco probed.

"If I could pick?" Theo queried, looking at Draco with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "A dragon or a hippogriff."

"Fuck you, Theo," Draco groused, taking a long draw of his firewhisky and then reaching for the bottle from his erstwhile friend, who handed it over with a sloppy smile.

"I'd probably be a cat or a snake," Pansy responded.

"But what if you could be anything?" Theo prodded.

"A hummingbird I think," Pansy stated, "They are fast and stylish. Have you ever been near one's nest? They are territorial and aggressive."

"And also very cute. What about you Hermione?" Theo passed her the bottle again and she added another dash of whisky to her glass before handing it back.

"Oh I have absolutely thought about it." Hermione confirmed, "I think I'd like to be a cat like McGonnagal or something larger, like a lion. My patronus is an otter, but that wouldn't be such a useful form. A lot of witches and wizards have the same animagus and patronus, I hope that wouldn't be the case for me." She looked over at Draco, who sipped his firewhisky.

"The Gryffindor lioness would like to be a lioness, no surprise there," Draco drawled, making Hermione blush. "And to the surprise of absolutely no one, I'd want to be a dragon, but it's extremely rare even for animagi. Because I have been transfigured into an animal before, I worry that if I did do it, I would be a ferret." He shuddered at the unpleasant memory.

"Now Draco, you were a damn cute ferret," Theo chuckled and when Draco gave him the two fingered salute, Theo laughed even harder.

"Is it my turn to ask a question?" Hermione asked, since Theo was still laughing while Draco looked at him, annoyed. Pansy nodded, so Hermione continued. "I realize I don't know much about your families, do you have big families or small ones?

"Asking about our families, brave, very Gryffindor of you, Hermione," Theo said, winking at her. Draco made a strangled sound and drowned his whiskey in one gulp.

"You've met my family Granger. I don't know what else...my mother had a baby girl, she only lived a few days. It was before I came to Hogwarts. And I suppose my father once told me he had a younger sister who was burned off the tree. My mother recently confirmed that to be true."

"I'm so sorry about your sister, Malfoy. That must've been awful." He nodded at Hermione's sympathetic words and poured himself another glass of the amber liquid.

"So Lucius had a sister, that is news." Theo said, "is she going to come rescue you, Draco? Drag you off to some chateau in France?"

"Unlikely," Draco drank deeply again, his eyes closed "McGonagall said she died years ago."

"Too bad," Theo sighed, refilling Pansy's wine glass, "she would have had some interesting stories to tell. Imagine hearing about old Luci as a kid, or do you think the gates of hell just opened and he walked out as a monster like my father?" Pansy smacked Theo, causing him to spill a bit of his drink.

"My mum and my aunt," Pansy started, ending Theo's musings, "Violetta, got sent to Beauxbatons and then they moved to Paris where she met my papa. They got married almost immediately. She had my brother Ranunclus a shockingly close time after the wedding, but everyone always pretends that they can't count backwards. He's a prick and he works for the Bulgarian Ministry. He's engaged to some vapid Pureblood niece of the Minister. They'll probably have a baby right away to ensure the line." Hermione noted the pain in Pansy's eyes when she spoke of her brother, but when she stopped speaking her face turned impassive and Hermione didn't feel it was her place to probe.

"So I'm the Head of my House." Theo said, jumping in. "No siblings. My father had three older brothers. They all died before I was born. He probably murdered them so he would inherit everything." He poured himself another drink. Hermione had lost count of how many the boys had had. For that matter how many drinks had she had?

"My grandfather expressed joy at how ruthless my father was when I was little, so I am pretty sure he approved. My mother only wanted to have one child, which is probably for the best, because if there had been an alternative son, I'd be dead. And not having this cheerful conversation." Pansy wrapped her arms around his waist. Even though he was still smiling, there was pain in his eyes.

Theo sighed, still keeping the forced smile on his lips. "My mother's dead and my father's in Azkaban. I have some cousins on my mum's side in Greece, but I have only met them twice and the family's original seat is in Armenia, but it's just full of house elves and a squib caretaker. It's a bit of a fortress. I've got a bigger real estate portfolio than a family. The Ancient and Noble House of Nott is down to just me. Cheers!"

Draco reached over and put his hand on his friend's knee, "Theo, that was a lot to tell Granger all at once." Theo only shrugged, looking down in his glass swirling the liquid before looking back up.

"Let me change the direction of our game then. What's one thing that can instantly make your day better?" Theo asked, smiling but Hermione noted the absence of his dimple and how his eyes didn't sparkle in the way she was accustomed to.

"Coffee just the way I like it," she smiled at Theo, hoping he realized she was referring to his effort from the morning, "or sugar quills."

"Taking the time to do my hair, makeup and pick out a flattering ensemble or dressing up someone else is definitely it for me," Pansy affirmed. Her eyes lingered on Hermione as if she were imagining dressing her up as well.

"A ride on my broom has always improved my mood," Draco stated, surprising noone.

"If I am not allowed to say anything about my varied preferred sexual acts," Theo teased causing a blush to spread over Hermione's cheeks as she imagined what acts he might prefer, "then a cigarette and a strong drink always improve my attitude."

Pansy rolled her eyes," As we are all here enjoying a strong drink, Theo, that's hardly within the intent of the game. However, moving on, what's your favourite article of clothing or accessory?" Pansy inquired.

"My drawstring purse," Hermione answered, smiling secretively.

"All my band shirts," Theo said, "but if I can only pick one then my Obscurial shirt but only because it made Robards nearly piss himself."

"Gawain Robards from the DMLE?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"The same. We have a long time acquaintance," Theo winked at her without offering any further information.

"I like my new rings," Draco admired his hands, "The black opal is particularly nice."

"My thigh high black boots," Pansy stated, "but I have a silver snake belt that's really a statement maker."

"I've seen your snake belt, but I dont think I've ever seen your boots," Hermione commented, trying to think back on all the different ensembles Pansy had ever worn.

Theo choked on his drink, and Pansy smacked him on the back and then looked at Hermione and smiled, "No you wouldn't have. They are really only for special occasions." She purred the words 'special occasions', making Hermione blush again.

Theo looked like he might choke again on his own air this time, but he didn't say anything further.

"What's your favourite spell?" Draco asked.

Pansy favoured clothes tailoring charms, Theo disillusionment, Hermione the undetectable extension charms, which made the Slytherins exchange a look, and Draco Molliare - the Cushioning Charm as he found it handy for Quidditch.

Hermione then asked for everyone's favorite colour.

"Black," Draco conceded.

Hermione looked over at him, "Not green? that's a surprise."

"We aren't always just tied up in House colors, Granger," Draco snorted before taking another drink.

"Crimson," Pansy stated, waving her nails at the others.

"The color of the ocean by Blaise's house in Amalfi: aquamarine," Theo said, "it's the most beautiful color I have ever seen."

Hermione laughed "Promise not to tell any of my housemates?" At the nods of the other three, she confided "Emerald." Draco and Theo surprised her by laughing, and even Pansy grinned at the admission.

"Granger you little traitor," Pansy winked at her over her wine glass.

Theo got a particularly mischievous look on his face, "What's one non-sexual thing that turns you on?" Pansy smacked him in the arm, nearly knocking over his whisky, "What? It's inside the rules, it's not exactly sexual."

Hermione sighed, "Okay I will give it to you. I like my back scratched and cuddling while reading books." Maybe the drinks have gotten to me more than I thought…this wasn't something she'd ever admitted.

"I mean is spanking others non-sexual?" Pansy asked, and Hermione bit her lip as she couldn't help but imagine Pansy giving her a spanking. Definitely sexual if her body's reaction was any sign. "If it is sexual, then I like wearing tall boots."

"I like being called names. Nice ones. Mean ones. Respectful ones. I'm 're last Draco." Theo looked over at his friend, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Fuck you, Theo," Draco said with a bit more annoyance than he had shown so far this evening.

"Come on, mate," Theo cajoled.

"I don't particularly want to answer this, but I will, because it's a game. I like someone to run their hands through my hair." He looked into the distance, a blush on his high cheekbones stark against his pale skin.

"Do you have any things that horribly annoy you?" Pansy asked.

"Are you asking just so you can do them?" Hermione questioned back.

"No, but Draco might " Pansy quipped,"Annoying people is his forte."

"Fuck you Pans," Draco shot back with no venom.

"Blood prejudice," Theo said seriously, "horribly fucking annoying. Drake?"

"Galas, soirees. Having to stand around listening to important people talk about things that you couldn't give a fuck about, but you have to be polite because they are important. It's deeply annoying." Draco rubbed at the back of his neck.

Hermione was a little reluctant to answer, but decided to do it anyway because she was actually enjoying the tipsy camaraderie. "People who just expect things out of me, like 'obviously it's Hermione, she'll agree to help with our homework, arrange this thing, solve this problem we don't even need to ask her if she wants to.'" She answered, the last part in a voice imitating Ron's.

Theo looked at her thoughtfully. "That they don't appreciate you afterwards must be frustrating too."

"Very," Hermione replied, reaching down for the firewhisky bottle by her feet and refilling her glass. How was it empty again?

"Okay and just so it's all fair," Pansy said, "people who say they are okay with something and then change their minds." Theo leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Pansy, his cool whisky glass brushing against the skin of Hermione's arm. Pansy leaned her head back onto Theo's shoulder.

Hermione, feeling like she was invading a private moment, turned fully to look at Draco. "What's the best gift you've ever received?" Draco queried, looking past her at the cuddling pair with a smirk playing on his lips.

"A pair of dragon hide boots," Pansy giggled, winking at Theo.

"Blaise took me to my first music festival a couple of summers ago in Italy. I'm absolutely addicted. Love them." Theo said, pouring everyone another whisky except Pansy, for whom he refilled her wine.

"Crookshanks is probably my favorite gift I ever received." She paused, and then asked, "Speaking of which, has anyone seen him?"

"He wanted out right as we came in earlier," Theo confirmed, "I charmed the door to open for him, if he scratches at it. You're welcome by the way." Hermione shook her head at the Head Boy's thoughtfulness.

"So does anyone have secret talents?" Hermione questioned, "I will give an example. I play the cello really rather well. If I had been a muggle I probably would've been a concert cellist. There were actually talent scouts who were trying to recruit me into their programs before I got my Hogwarts letter "

Pansy laughed, "Draco plays the harp."

"Thanks, Pans, but it's hardly my secret talent. If anything, it's my mum's secret talent. She insisted I learn an instrument and that's the one I knew she would be able to teach me herself. I chose it to give myself more time with her. Ugh." He took a deep drink that Hermione suspected was to hide the blush she could see across his cheeks. "I paint...fairly well actually. I'm really looking forward to art therapy." This talent surprised her, had she ever seen Draco Malfoy blush so much before? Maybe it was the firewhisky, she could feel its relaxing effects on her own languid limbs.

"What about you, Theo?" Hermione asked.

"Oh I am a gifted curse breaker. Child prodigy even. Had to if I wanted to survive in Nott Manor, but I am also just naturally good at it. Wards too. Mastered pulling them down before I started Hogwarts. Mine are nearly unbreakable. I would love to mess with a time turner, but I've never had the opportunity, a pet project would be making one of my own." He sipped his drink.

"All those skills and he is humble too," Pansy murmured into Hermione's ear.

Pansy's breath against Hermione's ear made her tremble, even as she masked it with a giggle. What was going on with her? She felt breathless the way she had with Fleur that one evening at the Burrow.

"And you Pans?" Theo asked, "I can think of a secret talent or two," grinning wickedly.

"I sing," Pansy said simply. "Those others aren't secrets. They are just private." She looked meaningfully at Theo, "and Granger didn't want to hear about anything too scandalous. We can save that for another night."

"Pansy," Hermione asked, perking up a bit, not catching the last of what Pansy had said, "Will you please sing something?"

Pansy let her eyes roam over Hermione before she shrugged. "Alright Granger, but only because you asked." Pansy stood a little uneasily and cast a charm, the sounds of piano, saxophone, trumpet, clarinet, flute floated through the air in the heads dorm.

"Oh! It's always good when Pansy pulls out the karaoke spell!" Theo laughed, clapping his hands as if he were a small child. Pansy rolled her eyes at him and blew him a kiss anyway, and then began to sing with a voice that made Hermione think of speakeasies and the belle epoch. She felt utterly transported. She smiled at Theo as he leaned forward to refill her glass, again.

"Non, rien de rien

Non, je ne regrette rien

Ni le bien, qu'on m'a fait

Ni le mal, tout ça m'est bien égal."

Draco leaned over into Hermione's ear as she stared transfixed at Pansy singing her heart out. "Granger, do you speak French?" She shook her head, "Do you want me to translate?" She nodded, trying to suppress a shiver at his closeness to her. These Slytherins had her in such a state, her knickers felt damp.

"Non, rien de rien," Pansy sang, swaying to the music while Draco whispered, "No, nothing at all."

"Non, je ne regrette rien" Pansy sang. "No, I do not regret anything" Draco whispered.

"C'est payé, balayé, oublié."

"It is paid, swept away, forgotten."

"Je me fous du passé, Avec mes souvenirs."

"I do not care about the past. With my memories," Draco choked up as he whispered these words, like he pushed them through a knot in his throat.

"J'ai allumé le feu, Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs," Pansy sang, running her hand along Theo's arms and shoulders as she circled the couch in slow, seductive movements.

"I started the fire, my sorrows, my pleasures." That last word rolled off Malfoy's tongue sweet like honey, a slow drawl that saw all of Hermione's body responding.

"Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux" Pansy belted as she ran a single pointed nail along Hermione's bare arm. Goosebumps ran along Hermione's skin at the sharp sting as the nail scratched along Hermione's arm.

Draco was distracted, and Hermione turned to him only to see him staring at the two drops of blood beaded on the olive skin of Hermione's arm. "I do not need them anymore," Draco said, startled, looking into her eyes.

"Balayer les amours, Avec leurs trémolos. Balayer pour toujours." Pansy ruffled Draco's hair and then came back around to the front of the couch, her body outlined by the firelight.

"Sweep the loves, With their tremolos, sweep forever."

"Je repars à zéro,"

"I go back to zero."

"Non, rien de rien. Non, je ne regrette rien "

"No, nothing at all. No, I do not regret anything."

Hermione felt that she was drowning in Pansy's dark eyes, and in the smooth cadence of Malfoy's voice as he whispered the lyrics in English, behind the shell of her ear, the scent of firewhisky from his breath toying with her senses.

"Ni le bien, qu'on m'a fait, Ni le mal, tout ça m'est bien égal."

"Nor the good, that was done to me, Neither evil, I don't care at all"

"Non, rien de rien. Non, je ne regrette rien."

"No, nothing at all. No, I do not regret anything."

"Car ma vie, car mes joies."

"Because my life, because my joys."

Pansy serenaded, "Aujourd'hui, ça commence avec toi." And Draco whispered, "Today, it begins with you," into Hermione's ear, his breath tickling her earlobe, and it felt so good she did the unthinkable.

Hermione leaned into Draco's voice, her face pressing into the side of his neck. She inhaled the scent of him and felt him stiffen as she whispered, "Mmm you smell nice," her lips on his pulse.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and was only vaguely aware of Pansy's instrumental background falling away as the world around her faded to black.

Hermione woke up to Draco carrying her to bed. "Hush, Granger," He whispered, noticing her stirring in his arms. "Just drink this hangover potion before you fall asleep." His hand was on her cheek and she leaned into his touch, the coolness of his rings against her skin soothed her anxiousness at her vulnerability, having him leaning over her bed, a potion vial to her lips.

And with that he tucked her under her covers. And she was barely aware of the soft click of the door as he left, already back in sleep's embrace.

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