Chapter 17

Love Let the Poison Bleed Out

Song "Free" by Mother Mother

CW: discussion of cannibalism, murder and rape

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Cordelia smiled at Hermione as she entered her office. The warm welcoming room smelled of flowers and all the greenery seemed even more vibrant than the last time she had been there.

"I am so pleased that you are joining me again, Hermione," Cordelia greeted her as she entered and took a seat, "Can I say that it looks as though you are both sleeping and eating better lately?"

"Thank you, I guess," Hermione replied awkwardly, even though she realised that it was true, she hadn't thought others would notice the change in her. "I suppose that Theo and the other Slytherins have a lot to do with me sitting down to meals. They don't really let me slip away like I had been doing."

"Sometimes when we are living in our minds, our memories, it can be hard to deal with the present needs of our bodies. We tend to forget the most important things: eating food, drinking water, and sleeping." Cordelia had her notebook out, but hadn't opened it yet, her open smiling countenance helping Hermione to soothe the nerves that she always got during her individual session. There also was the issue of the throbbing of her most intimate parts, punishing her for not having had time to finish her discussion with Pansy.

"I don't know how familiar you are with Maslowe's Hierarchy of Needs," Cordelia smiled again and with a flick of her wand, a brightly colored pyramid was floating in the air. Hermione smiled– not for the first time appreciating the convenience of the magic–reading the labels: physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs.

Cordelia tapped the bottom row of the pyramid with her wand, "Physiological Needs is the most critical because it's the foundation of the whole model. This includes air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, and sleep. I feel, and you can correct me if I am wrong with this assumption, that when you first arrived here, a lot of these needs were not being met for you."

"Was it that obvious?" Hermione kept her eyes fixed on the projection as she asked. Her thoughts were coming out almost against her will, but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

"Well I am a trained professional," Cordelia joked, as she tried to put Hermione at ease, " but beyond that, I have noticed that these needs seem to be being met now. How do you feel now compared to a month ago? Do you think that my assessment is correct?"

Hermione bit her lip as she sheepishly asked, "What was the list again? Air, food, warmth, shelter, sleep…"

"Sex and drinking, yes. Ideally water or other sources of hydration, not alcoholic beverages." Hermione turned pink at Cordelia's candid mention of sex, but tried to get a grip on herself. They had discussed Hermione's interest in multiple partners last session, of course her Mind Healer would want to make sure she's…not satisfied, not the word to use right now, but confident in her choice.

"Yes, Cordelia. I think I can confidently say that all of those needs are now being met regularly." Hermione cleared her throat, determined not to be embarrassed by the mention of sex. "I'd like to thank you for those books that you lent me. They've been quite educational." In for a knut, in for a galleon…

Vanishing the floating pyramid, Cordelia clapped in delight, "Well that's wonderful news Hermione. Is there anything you'd like to share about that?"

Hermione thought for a minute, "It's nice to be around people who seem to prioritise me and my wants, not what I can do for them. I don't know that anyone has ever done that before, even with my parents, they always saw me as a little adult versus their child."

"I think I have had a couple chances at being cared for in the past, but messed it up. I suppose I am worried I will ruin this, whatever it is, again."

Cordelia was writing in her notebook, her dark eyes glancing up at Hermione every few moments as she spoke. When Hermione finished, she gave her normal warm smile, putting Hermione at ease again. "While it's valid to have concerns about how relationships will work out, I think that you are engaging in negative self-talk that is highly unnecessary. When was the last time you had a sexual relationship?"

"Fourth and fifth year," Hermione replied, her hands twisting in her lap and a blush on her cheeks. Godric help her, she just told Cordelia that she lost her virginity as a fourth year…

"Hermione," Cordelia leaned forward, "you are three years older now. You are not the same person that you were then. You just need to be sure to communicate with your new partner…partners?"

"Friends," Hermione replied, lost in thought for a moment. Communication didn't seem to be their weak point, she'd never had this level of candour with anyone and certainly had never imagined that she would have it with a bunch of Slytherins.

Cordelia nodded thoughtfully and made a note in her notebook, "And now do you have something to share with me about what we talked about in group earlier today."

Clenching her jaw for a second, Hermione shook off the tension. Looking at Cordelia, Hermione cleared her throat and took a breath for courage; if she didn't speak up, who might he hurt next? "Yes, I do."

She proceeded to tell Cordelia all about Cormac McLaggen and how he didn't want to take no for an answer at Slughorn's Christmas party in sixth year. Cordelia's face became more and more grim at the telling and Hermione's stomach was twisted with guilt. Should she have told someone about this before?

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Theo ran his fingers through Draco's pale locks as the young man laid his head in Theo's lap on the couch. Theo sipped at a firewhisky, while he waited for his lover to be ready to talk about what he had dreamed about the night before, knowing that pushing Draco was usually the way to go about getting him to open up. Theo's fingers skated over Draco's sharp cheekbones; Theo's thumb grazed Draco's jawline, enjoying the very masculine feel that was Draco.

"Dragon, you can tell me anything, you know that don't you?" Draco's soft mhm was the only indication he'd heard Theo. "I don't want you keeping whatever nightmare you are dealing with shoved down inside of yourself, not right now, not when I'm here to listen. Bottling up horrors doesn't serve you, it'll only harm you." Theo's voice was firm but loving and Draco struggled against his urge to keep his secrets to himself.

How long would he really have Theo to confide in? With his trial less than two weeks and his future still so uncertain. If the worst came to be–then all these moments would be at an end regardless. He'd be lucky if he was allowed to owl more than a handful of times a year. And all those letters would be reviewed by Aurors before they would be sent out.

Even the thought of his potential isolation felt like suffocation. How had the time flown by so fast? Since coming back to Hogwarts, he knew that he would be happy to be with Theo and Pansy again, but he'd never dared to dream that he'd get anything out of this summer besides some orgasms. He wasn't ready to lose Theo, to lose Pansy. Not to mention; Granger. Her body beneath him, curls spread, her warm heat welcoming him. Salazar, maybe he should tell her how he felt. No. No. He should keep it to himself. If he went to Azkaban…if he went to…

Theo tapped his chin, bringing Draco back to reality as he remembered their conversation, well at least Theo's start to it. Draco let out a sigh, keeping his eyes closed, "You remember how I told you about the werewolves at the Manor? How they were raping women all the time, murdering them, and devouring their corpses?" Draco curled into Theo's body, his face in Theo's navel, his arms wrapped around Theo's waist trying to draw strength from his lover.

Theo shuddered and took a deep draw of his firewhisky, "I do." His hand ran soothingly up and down Draco's back. Draco breathed in the scent that was purely Theo, focusing on that instead of the imagines that threatened to break into his thoughts.

"There was one particularly bad night. They'd murdered three muggle girls, Gods, two can't have been more than sixteen, the other thirteen, maybe fourteen. When the wolves were done, they left the girls bleeding out in the dungeon. Lovegood and I tried to save them, but the wounds…," Draco heaved a deep trembling sigh, choking down a sob, "the wounds were too severe. So after trying and failing to save them, I…" Draco trailed off, gulping for air.

Theo felt Draco's tension as though it was his own and wished that Draco had accepted his offer of a glass of firewhisky to take the edge off this conversation. He didn't say a word, only kept up the soothing touches, silently drinking and staring into the low fire that had been built in their fireplace, as the Scottish afternoon had turned stormy about an hour past. Even with the warmth filling the room, they were both lost in the cold of the memory as Draco recounted the events that had haunted him.

"I carried them out into the woods on the edge of the garden and I buried them there. I wouldn't let the house elves assist me, it just wouldn't have been right to put that on them. They hadn't failed to save those girls, I had.

"I dug their grave until my hands blistered and bled. It was my punishment for allowing such evils to take place in my ancestral home, as the heir I should have stepped in and put a stop to the brutality, but I didn't. Even if I couldn't save their lives, I wouldn't allow any more women to be eaten in my home. At least buried in the garden their bodies escaped that final indignity."

"Drake, did you tell anyone that you did that?" Theo tinkled the ice in his glass and wished he had enough firewhisky to drown all these images away.

"What?" Draco sounded as though he was lost in his own mind, tears running down his cheeks, not really listening to Theo at all as he shifted to look into Theo's sapphire eyes. Theo stroked the nape of Draco's neck. He took a deep gulp of his firewhisky, finishing it and sent the glass floating to the table.

"Draco," Theo said, sternly in his dom voice, as he gripped Draco's neck tightly, enjoying the hooded look Draco's eyes took on at his tone and his touch.

Draco gasped and Theo could feel his body respond to his tone. Salazar, Draco was such a good boy.

"You're such a good boy, Draco," Theo murmured, not loosening his grasp on his lover's neck, but rotating his hand to his throat, "are you listening to me now?" At Draco's wide-eyed nod, Theo smiled, "Good boy, love. Now does anyone else know that there are bodies of muggle women buried at the Manor?"

Draco shook his head, "No, no Theo, only… only Luna. Luna knew because I told her what I was doing before I took them to the garden." Theo slid his thumb between Draco's lips and Draco subconsciously sucked at it, while Theo hummed thoughtfully. Someone had to be told about this right away. What if they were discovered and the Aurors thought Draco had been responsible. What if Draco's magical signature was on the bodies?

Theo pulled his thumb away, but kept his hand on Draco's throat. He needed him to stay in a submissive headspace, that would keep him answering the questions without getting too lost in the memories.

"How many bodies are buried in the gardens, Draco? Did you use magic to bury them?" Theo kept his tone commanding and his expression stern. Draco responded just how he knew he would, leaning into his grip, rubbing his cheek on Theo's thigh.

"Sixteen, Theo. And I never used magic to bury them, I carried them over my shoulder, one at a time, dug the graves and covered them myself." Theo sighed in relief, but still knew that someone needed to be told. Cordelia and McGonagall seemed to be the best options, maybe Robards if he wasn't in a dickish mood. The only thing for certain was that none of the Aurors assigned to watching over Draco or Narcissa could be the ones who found the bodies first. No, any of them would easily pin all the crimes right back to Draco to use against him, the vindictive bastards that they were. The thought of Draco being charged with sixteen counts of rape and murder of muggles sent cold chills down his spine. It simply could not be allowed to happen.

Theo pulled Draco up and kissed him hard, rewarding him for his behaviour and answering Theo truthfully.

He was going to fix this. He was going to keep Draco safe; he was not letting him rot in Azkaban. Their fathers belonged in that nightmare, Draco did not.

Fuck it. He'd Floo Call Robards in the morning. That son of a bitch owed him.

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Draco felt somewhat guilty that he hadn't helped Madam Pince, but after the nightmares that had haunted him, he'd desperately needed that time with Theo. It had been so much easier to unburden himself with his wizard than it was to confide in Cordelia. The passionate snogging session at the end hadn't hurt either, and made the entire confession of what he'd done with sixteen muggle women feel like a weight had actually been lifted from his chest.

It was nice to make time to just be with Theo, who knew his body better than anyone. Theo just knew what Draco needed, even when Draco had no idea himself. It only made the blonde love and appreciate his wizard that much more for it. Their closeness was unparalleled, including his relationship with Pansy and the budding one with Granger. Pansy knew him well too, but it wasn't the same. Pansy's needs came first and always would. It was part of who she was and he didn't want to change that about her. Granger too was a surprise, she really acted as though she gave a shite about him, like she cared, but regardless of her need to care for him, there just wasn't the same level of knowledge of one another as there was between himself and Theo. But, maybe, there could be with Granger…

He had never expected that truth or dare session to turn out like this, any drinking game for that matter. Waking up with Hermione Granger in his arms, he never would have thought it was something that could happen, much less be more than a once in a lifetime occurrence.

Years of imagining, wondering, and desiring her. The thoughts of what it would be like to be with her like this paled in comparison to the reality. Potter and Weasley were fools, not that he'd ever doubted that fact as it was glaringly obvious to anyone with half a brain. She was clearly the most devoted witch that it had ever been his pleasure to know. The way she'd comforted him this morning and last night had blown his mind.

Who was he to deserve such attention and devotion from the Golden Girl?

He kept expecting to wake up and discover that the entire thing was a dream, but no dream that he's ever had of her had ever felt so good. And oh, how good she was, from the top of her curly head to her dainty toes, Granger was just the embodiment of the word. It wasn't just the pleasure that they gave each other, it was the way she allowed herself to be vulnerable with him, the way she trusted him with her fears and her desires. He felt their trust for each other growing every day, and it made something in his chest flare. He hadn't been able to save her from his batshite aunt, but he had this burning desire to save her from the rest of the world's horrors, even the most minor inconveniences he didn't want her to experience. He could only pray that he got the chance, because as much as he wished for this, Azkaban still sat as a threat on the horizon of his future.

If his trial went better than he deserved, then he'd take care of her, spoil her, adore her for as long as she allowed him to do so. And when Granger told him that she was finished with him, Draco would gladly bow away and leave her to live her life, however she wished.

He felt secure with what he had with Theo, it was by far the most stable thing he had in his life. He and Theo were forever, he knew it, bone deep, soul deep. And while what was going on with Pansy now was new, he felt confident that it would last, maybe not forever, but it would last for at least as long as they had.

This…thing…with Granger though…he just needed to treat every day he could touch her like a gift. Because a gift was what it was.

Setting his thoughts aside, Draco pulled out a quill and parchment, determined to write to his mother as he kept swearing he would do, but thus far had neglected. He unfolded the list of destroyed books he had copied from the library so he could include it and smiled.

Dear Mother,

I hope this letter finds you well as can be under the circumstances. Please find enclosed the list of books that were completely destroyed during the battle. Madam Pince still does not know about our project and I look forward to surprising her. Can you arrange for the books to be delivered to the school next week prior to my trial? I'd hate to miss it, if the unthinkable comes to pass.

Will I see you at my trial? Are you being allowed to testify? I haven't heard from our solicitor at all, I'm wondering if he's reached out to you. I worry that he might not be willing to fulfil his duties.

Enough of that though, I'm pleased to report that the summer program is still going well. I'm mostly in company with Theo, Pansy and Blaise, but some rather shocking social developments have come to pass. I look forward to sharing more when we meet in person, which I hope will be soon.

Pansy told me to send her regards and that she would write if her probation allowed it.

I miss you so much and hope to hear from you when you're able.

Your Devoted Son,

Draco

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Bouncing on his heels, Theo excitedly ripped into the package that he'd ordered and revealed his special surprise for Pansy. As the items tumbled out before him, Theo couldn't continue his squeal of joy or the way he clapped his hands.

He'd asked her to meet him up here after dinner. He'd had the elves deliver a plate for him, but he'd only picked at it, Draco's revelations from earlier today making his stomach turn. He needed a good release and this was going to allow for it, he was sure. He was horribly overdue for a bit of rough play.

The door opened and shut in the outer room and the sound of Pansy's heels tapped out a rhythm on the floor that made his blood beat faster. Gods, he hoped that she was in the mood to domme him. He was desperate for a very specific type of attention, with just the thought of what she could do to him had his cock hardening.

He transfigured the bed into a St. Andrew's cross, half to clear the floor space, but also as a 'just in case.' Dozens of candles flared to life around the circumference of the room, their flickering light adding a romantic ambience that Theo craved tonight. He needed some pain, but he needed it from someone who loved him–a craving that only Pansy could satisfy.

"Theodore?" Pansy called as she opened the door, the sound of her exhalation instantly set his body to tingling. She was in the mood! His cock could tell and began to thicken in anticipation.

"Oh, pet. Were you wanting to play?" Pansy's tone had adjusted to her domme and she was purring out her words. A smile graced her lips as she transfigured her nails to the sharp points that would draw blood and vanished all of her clothes except her undergarments. "Accio boots." Her thigh highs flew through the room into her hand. She kicked off her heels and they went flying across the room, clattering into the wall in her haste.

"My Queen, I have a little gift for you." Theo smiled, pleased with himself beyond measure.

Pansy was stepping into her boots and running her wand up the laces, casting the charm that tightened them up the back. Stunning creature.

"Oh, pet? Do tell." Her voice was heavy, as she looked at him through her lashes.

Instead of speaking, Theo pulled out the new crop and paddle that he'd managed to order without Robards finding out, bloody irritating auror. Pansy made noises of appreciation as she smacked the crop across her palm, smiling at the sting. It wasn't as special as her rose bud crop that he knew had been her favourite, but it was well made nonetheless. When she had finished inspecting the crop's quality, Theo passed over the long leather paddle. This one lacked the fine needles that Pansy needed to draw his blood, but it did have a cutout of the word "SLUT" and would leave the word on his arse. He quivered in anticipation at being so labelled by his Mistress.

"These are lovely gifts, pet. So thoughtful," she purred, scraping her fingers over his scalp. "Now get on your fucking knees," she hissed, gripping his hair at the roots.

Theo dropped to his knees immediately, his head bowed as she released him. He needed this, needed her. Needed to hand over control for a bit. Pansy vanished his clothes with a flick of her wand, not wasting any time. She stepped forward, the crop in her hand first and she ran it over his chest.

Theo watched her feet and tried to keep his breathing under control. He was so aroused it was painful and his cock twitched in anticipation.

"Shall we strap you to the cross you so thoughtfully set up, pet?" Theo didn't answer immediately and Pansy had his cheeks in her hand in an instant, the magically sharpened nails drawing blood. "Are you listening to me, Theodore?"

"Of course, my Queen. I thought your question didn't need my answer. I apologise profusely and accept any punishment you see fit for my lack of obedience."

"Get up and go over there so I can strap you in. Face the wall, pet. I'm going to work your arse tonight."

Theo could feel the small drops of blood from Pansy's nails sliding over his face, a few dripping onto his clavicle. The sting on his face made him feel alive. He stepped forward, his hard cock against his belly as he raised his arms and Pansy strapped him into the restraints, buckling his wrists and ankles by hand rather than using magic, her touch lingering and burning his skin with anticipation. She preferred to make sure that everything was fitted just right. Her diligence as a Domme was such a blessing. Theo knew how lucky he was that she had ever consented to play with him. He remained the only man who had ever felt her sting.

She stroked his back softly with her fingertips, warming him up to her touch. Then eight sharp nails dragged along the skin of his back drawing lines of blood from shoulder to arse cheeks and he'd no sooner groaned at the pain before he realised that the glamours weren't up on his back. The panic instantly set in, Pansy could see all his scars. The thought had no sooner crossed his mind before he began to struggle against his wrist restraints in an attempt to cast the spell. This wasn't something he'd intended for her to see today, and in his excitement, he'd forgotten this step in preparing himself for any type of intimacy.

"Don't," Pansy whispered, her lips on his ear. "I need to see my work on your real skin, not the illusions you put up. It's nothing you haven't let me see before, pet. You're safe with me, there's no need for you to feel fear in this space." The tears started to run down his cheek as he slowly nodded, his chest still heaving, though anxiety was slipping away at her words. "There's my good boy. I'll take care of you, don't forget that." She ran a soothing hand over his cheek.

"Never," Theo whispered, "I'll never forget."

"Good pet," Pansy purred, her hand over his wrist as she felt his pulse evening out. "Are you ready for the real pain now?"

"Fuck yes," Theo said, as his cock twitched at her tone. He knew she was smiling behind him as the new crop began to welt his arse and his back. He let out a moan, giving himself over to the pleasure of agony. The strikes blurring together, punctuated by long scratches drawing his blood. He was almost unaware when she switched from the crop to the paddle. She didn't ask him to count her hits and he was grateful, he would have barely been able to make the words if she'd asked anyway. And as his knees gave out, Theo was left dangling from the cross, each strike bringing him more electric bliss - the intersection of the pain and pleasure left him drowning in sheer ecstacy.

Bloody hell. It felt so good.

He thought he would cum untouched and sobbed as he tried desperately to wait for Pansy's command.

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Draco could hear Theo's sobbing moans coming from inside his room, and he had to fight with his urge to go rescue his lover. He knew intellectually that Theo enjoyed what Pansy did to him, but listening to it was another thing. Silencing the room, Draco went to sit on the couch and pulled out a book that Granger had left lying on the side table.

The witch was out, catching up with Lovegood over tea in the Great Hall and had suggested he head up to the suite without her. Not wanting to appear too clingy–because he would have happily sat and listened to her voice–Draco had listened to her and excused himself, leaving the two young women to chat.

He found himself gripped with worry over their safety after what Cordelia had said that morning in the therapy group– not to mention his dream last night. But Cordelia herself had been speaking to the Head Mistress in hushed tones up on the dias, comforting him that the situation was being addressed and not brushed under the rug as it would have been with Dumbledore. The two women in charge were the only thing that kept him from pacing outside the Great Hall like a great cat.

He set aside the book, not able to read a word of it, and went to pour himself a glass of Ogden's. He sat and stared at the fire dancing in the hearth as he ignored Theo's silenced room, Granger's absence, and his fears surrounding his upcoming trial. As he took a sip from the crystal tumbler, He felt like a lyre string ready to snap. And just as he was about to give up on his drink and go search for her, the door to the common room opened.

There stood Hermione Granger with a huge smile on her face.

"Draco, you're here."

It had never felt so good to have someone happy to see him.

"Here I am, Granger," he smirked back at her. And she crossed the room, throwing herself into his arms, knocking the glass from his grasp. He ignored it as it fell to the floor, what he had in his arms now was a thousand times more precious.

The vanilla and woman scent of her was definitely in his Amortentia now.

Salazar help him, but he never wanted to let her go.

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