Night had just fallen when the uncomfortable squadron stepped back through the encampment's gates. Uncomfortable being the mildest you could say.
Areiel was leaning against one of the posts with obvious nonchalance that had nobody fooled. Anya swallowed out of reflex, or old habit perhaps. This would neither be brief nor pretty.
"Good evening, Dark Lady." the ranger captain greeted them flatly.
"Ranger Captain." There was an unspoken sigh in Sylvanas' answer. She also knew what was coming.
"Is there mayhap something you would like to tell me?"
"Nothing you will want to hear."
"Is that so? Because I would be very interested in knowing why I find my commander avoiding me like the plague for the entire day, and then suddenly she is gone without any other trace than four rangers of her squadron looking guilty of every conceivable offense and trying pitifully to be honest with me while at the same time covering for you."
Sylvanas said nothing, waiting for the rest.
"Even more is my interest piqued by the fact that Lyana has been entrusted some manner of vial that someone important desperately needs to receive later in the day – and if something like that should be the case I very much hope she has – for some unspeakable reason or other."
"It has been dealt with. The pers – she – has received it." Sylvanas mumbled more to the ground than to Areiel.
"RANGER WINDRUNNER! You will bloody well explain yourself or you will bloody well not but you will bloody do it to my face and not the bloody ground! SQUADRON! ATTEND!"
Ranger-General, Dark Lady, Queen. No titles in the world would ever stop Sylvanas Windrunner from snapping to attention when Areiel used that tone. Nor anyone else, Anya thought as she held herself stiff as a post and would not have dared to breathe even if she had needed to.
"I do not know if it is my place to question in what way you have jeopardized the negotiations that better men and women than I have bled and died for. I do not know if it is my place to wonder what in all flaming hells you have been thinking when you did whatever it is you have done today." Areiel's words grated like rocks scraping against each other. "But I will damn well have an answer to what you call this sun-forsaken pathetic display of how rangers act towards one another!"
When Ranger-Captain Areiel walked up and down the ranks like a lynx with a tooth-ache , it was not companies but regiments that feared to make the slightest noise without being ordered to.
"You, Ranger Proudmoore, have a great deal to explain about your perplexing way of showing how much you trust and respect your fellow rangers and a commander who personally went in to save your life from Scarlet Crusaders."
"Yes Ranger-Captain!"
"Has Anya taught you nothing?! Is not the first bloody thing we teach that rangers rely on one another?! And even excepting that you have witnessed firsthand the capacity for rioting in the Undercity and are supposed to rule a city yourself! I can not possibly imagine what went through your mind, for you to come up with something so mad as letting traitors out behind the Dark Lady's back! How can someone who is otherwise so bright display such a complete lack of judgement?!"
Jaina swallowed and weathered the storm.
"Perhaps the fault lies with us for placing expectations in a ranger with not two months of training and just a little over twenty years behind her. This situation is without precedent."
That, Anya could tell, bit deeper than any shouting.
"No! No, it does not. I should have done better. I acted without thinking."
"That, on the other hand, is not without precedent." Areiel sighed. "You still have a lot left to learn, Ranger Proudmoore."
"Yes Ranger-Captain!"
"And you." When Areiel returned to Sylvanas it was with the gravest seriousness. "I once thought that I had trained one of the best elven rangers. I once thought that she had earned the title of ranger-general when it was offered her."
"That is long gone now." Sylvanas said tonelessly.
"And I once thought that at least some small part of the Sylvanas I knew lived on inside the Dark Lady that I witnessed learning what it was like to smile again."
Anya wanted to cry.
"Now, I am not so sure."
Anything. Anything, but to hear that disappointment in Areiel's voice. It was crushing, infinitely more than the worst shouting match Anya could imagine.
"Or is it me you lack confidence in?"
"No."
"Are you sure about that? Since you apparently decided to chain up the one ranger mage we have and who we are dependent on to communicate with the Undercity and the rest of our army, that would otherwise be very unfavourably deployed the way they have been spread out. I would have liked to believe that I would at the very least be notified before you decided to rob us of these advantages."
"Of course."
"Why is she in chains, Sylvanas?!" Areiel barked. "Don't tell me you actually strolled into Dalaran with her in that state?!"
"No."
It was painfully evident how frustrated their captain was growing with Sylvanas' lack of engagement, of presence.
"If there is truly nothing else left between you two – if it could honestly have gone so far – then Jaina Proudmoore is at the very least still an asset that we all can not afford to waste. You do not get to do that to us, Dark Lady."
It almost seemed like Sylvanas would shrug. Almost.
"Anya. Release her." Sylvanas was completely resigned. Hopeless.
Inside, Anya's heart still soared despite everything.
"No. You do it. Clean up your own mess, Ranger Windrunner." Areiel spat.
The short pause before Sylvanas turned to fish out her pendant and press it against Jaina's bracelets felt like they could have been years.
Jaina glared back at Sylvanas' downturned eyes with both dismay and defiance.
So hurt. They both looked – felt – so very hurt to Anya.
"We will speak more once I have reclaimed my civility. Ranger Lieutenant Eversong, you have a serious crisis of morale to deal with in your ranks. I suggest you get to it promptly. Squadron dismissed."
Jaina's squadron followed her to her tent, each looking more down than the other.
Well, not the whole squadron. Sylvanas was not with them. Nor would she be coming by later to at least look in on them when her other duties allowed. That time was past.
"Jaina? Would you…do you…that is…" Anya hesitated and searched for the words.
"You are allowed in, if that's what you were wondering."
"You…knew I was going to say that?" If Jaina had not been so tired and weary she would have found Anya's consternation adorable.
"Yes Anya, I kind of did. But that is assuming…well, that any of you would want to remain in my presence, or what you should call it…"
"Jaina! Stop." Clea interrupted her. "We – we have had a terrible last two days and done things that don't sit easy with any of us I think. But you're one of us…? Aren't you?"
Clea had never been this insecure since they were at sea.
"Yes she is." For once it was Kitala who was the surer of the two. "Jaina is our ranger sister and we are going to stand by her for good or worse. Tomorrow. We should talk tomorrow. For real, not like…" She made a vague gesture in the general direction of the gate. "…that."
"Y-yes. That would be good." Jaina held on to that thought. They would talk, and she would try to explain as best she could, and she would at least have a chance of making them understand and not detest her. The thought of losing the affection of any of them terrified her, Jaina found.
"Maybe we should all try to rest." Lyana suggested. "I don't think anyone of us should be on our own tonight. A pity I don't have Kitthix with me. Then you could have slept with him for company. He'd be impartial to everything."
Jaina nodded weakly. Lyana's spider was in fact sort of cute when he sat on the dark ranger's head or played with her. When it came down to it, he was in fact a splendidly nice spider.
"Alright, but remember, Jaina must be allowed to say all she has to say. We are not going to judge her beforehand." Anya reminded the rest.
Despite everything terrible that had been, Jaina quickly fell asleep that night and she spent it without any dreams she could remember.
The next day Jaina had a gruelling headache.
She was not altogether surprised. Days like yesterday were bound to leave some kind of impression.
It appeared that no orders had come through during the night and Anya could order them about as she willed. The day was cold and clear with frost covering the ground and heralding the coming winter.
The dark rangers had packed blankets and a breakfast for Jaina during the night. It was Lyana's idea, and Jaina quickly found that she approved of it despite the chilly weather. After checking another time that nothing was about that required their presence, and Anya notifying the sentries of where they would be going, the squadron set out for a nearby hill. From the top some of Dalaran was visible further away and over Lordamere Lake there were great swathes of mist drifting slowly about.
They found a sheltered spot where Jaina lighted a fire and then wrapped herself like the rest inside the blankets they had brought and started on her breakfast, and talked.
She did her very best to tell them everything. From how she had felt in their absence the day before yesterday, to the panic leading up to her rash decision to let the Forsaken prisoners go. The terrible time she had in her tent during the last day and Sylvanas' condition on entering Dalaran. How the visit had turned out and how the fear of the poison – that later had turned out to already have been out of her body by that time – had clouded every minute. How the previous day had ended Jaina decided to gloss over. There was no real need to go into details about the fact that Anya had been sitting in her lap while she was naked with her cloak held around them both.
The rangers listened like the keenest mage apprentices.
"I don't know what to say. Damn…" Kitala was the first one to break the silence when Jaina had finished.
"Am I right in assuming that Sylvanas hasn't told you of what we were talking about while you were left alone in the Undercity?" Clea asked.
"Yes. Or no, she hasn't. I thought – well honestly I thought a lot of things and most of them were really bad. I was afraid she would break up the squadron and I wouldn't get to stay with you."
"What? Why would she do that?" Kitala scrounged up her face.
"To replace the rangers in Anthis' squadron?"
"Oh. Ah, damn it…Jaina, you don't do things like that. There are times when squadrons are reformed but you don't break up one that is working. Not, like, ever. And putting you somewhere else to be a mage without a guard – would that be a sane thing to do after what happened in the last battle?"
"No…but I didn't know that."
"I can see you being afraid of something like that happening. We would be." Clea sighed. "Sylvanas wanted to speak to us about you. But not in a bad way. She had had some talk with Varimathras and he had frankly just been trying to make up dirt about you – he is a slimy git – and Sylvanas asked if we would vouch for you now that we would be going into Dalaran. We all said yes, of course. I got the impression that she was content with that."
"She was more than that." Lyana spoke quietly but some time during their conversation they had all gathered closer around Jaina so it didn't matter too much. "She was satisfied. She wanted to hear it."
"And then, exactly when we were having that conversation, you went and let her prisoners out and spirited them away." Clea continued. "And you didn't tell her straight up but she got to know it when someone reported to Areiel that they had escaped."
Jaina nodded into her drawn up knees. She was sitting with her arms tightly wrapped around her legs like she was cold, and in a sense she was. Cold inside.
"I think that Sylvanas had made her mind up to keep trusting you and dismiss Varimathras' dirt about letters and portals and secret plans and whatever. Or at the very least hear you out properly before she made her decision. And then…" Clea shrugged. "You could hardly have picked a worse time to go behind her back, could you?"
Clea was right. No matter how angry Jaina still was over what Sylvanas had done in retaliation Clea was still right about that.
Maybe retaliation was not the expressly accurate word here but – Tides!
Lyana's next question broke her out of her introspection.
"You knew about this situation for some time, a few days, right? What I don't understand is, why didn't you talk to Sylvanas again about it? And explained how much it meant to you personally and – I don't know – threatened to resign as ranger mage and not ally Theramore if she would go through with killing them like you feared?"
"I couldn't do that?! I mean, that would be a matter of what is best for Theramore, not what I personally think –"
"You thought that Sylvanas would become like Arthas if she kept doing things like that. Turn the Forsaken into another Scourge. That is not someone you want as your ally, is it?"
"No…I guess not. I wanted to wait until after the battle of Ambermill and I thought that if I could do something really impressive there she would listen to me and people would be so happy about how the battle went that they would not care too much about other things and let her exile them instead. Or something."
"Jaina…" Clea groaned. "You idiot! You have saved her city, for goodness' sake! You have let us outmanoeuvre the Scourge at almost every turn! You don't need to impress any of us! Do you think Sylvanas likes you the way she does because you are useful to her?"
Did she, honestly? Was that how Jaina had viewed Sylvanas?
No, it couldn't be. Sylvanas sought her help and advice and Jaina was happy to help – had been happy to help – but that was not all there was to it. Not even a larger part of all there was to it.
When Jaina fell asleep when Sylvanas was near her she was smiling. When she trained and learned the skills of a dark ranger Sylvanas looked on with pride even if they both knew it would be Jaina's magic that would count. And when they teased and bantered the Dark Lady seemed like her freest self.
Or, correction: had been, had looked and had seemed.
"And the battle for Ambermill was a great victory for us." Clea added sadly. "We succeeded and we caused the Scourge a lot of losses. It just doesn't feel that way when you have losses of your own. But we won, Jaina. And you did well."
"And you are one of us." Lyana insisted. "Like Areiel said. That aren't just empty words. You could have talked to us about it and we could have gone to Sylvanas together."
"I didn't think I'd be allowed."
"Honestly it would have been better to break that rule than what we ended up with. But I think it would have been alright if you had asked Sylvanas to share because you felt badly about the situation. Or you could have at least asked to speak with Areiel about your concerns because she was privy to the knowledge."
Jaina felt how her mouth pointed down. All of her face felt like it pointed down somewhow.
Lyana made it sound like it would have been so easy.
But it had been so hard.
"I was afraid she would say no." Jaina whispered. "I think I would have been afraid that you would all say no. And what then?"
"We – I shan't speak for anyone but myself in this. I would have followed Sylvanas' lead I think, even though I don't much care for the opinions of the malcontents of the Undercity for the mob has never shown us kindness." Lyana offered a half-hearted shrug.
Kitala was next. She spoke uncharacteristically solemnly.
"I would have gone with you, Jaina. I was given a second chance once, I should extend the same offer to others of my kind. Which is now the Forsaken."
"I suppose I could hardly leave you to do it alone, then." Clea concluded. "Killing Forsaken would be a waste. Possibly excepting dreadlords. But in any case it's got to be better to at least let them face the Scarlets in battle and do some damage before they die."
"Anya?" Lyana asked their lieutenant who had been silent for a long time.
"I… If anything mattered a lot to you I would go with you and ask Sylvanas for it, Jaina." Anya mumbled. "But I think my opinion in this matter would not be helpful."
"Would she…would Sylvanas have listened to you? Would…she have listened to me?"
Only silence.
"We can not know. Because we never did ask."
That was what it came down to. Wasn't it?
"I was afraid to hear her answer." Jaina whispered.
"We are all afraid, Jaina." Clea sighed as she pulled her closer. "We are all afraid."
The day passed without much happening until the early afternoon.
Sylvanas, Areiel and a retinue of deathguards and rangers came by Jaina's tent and Sylvanas cordially – very cordially – requested a portal to be made to the Undercity.
"We can handle that, Dark Lady." Anya answered her before anyone else could say anything. She was very obviously adamant on raising the bar for interactions between them back up to a respectable level. "Right, Ranger Mage Proudmoore?"
"Of course, Lieutenant." Jaina answered with model politeness. If nothing else she would behave exemplary to Anya and especially when Areiel was looking at them. Perhaps that would be how she and Sylvanas would communicate now, with forced politeness and through the medium of intermediaries and an adherence to military protocol that neither they nor any other rangers had ever bothered with.
The thought of it.
Jaina was still angry over yesterday, deeply angry and deeply insulted, but over it all she also felt monumentally bad for her own way of acting and the way her actions must have hurt Sylvanas, and disappointed Areiel and her squadron as well.
Tides, she was angry at herself and Sylvanas both. They were leaders of a nation each, of people who depended on them to act with infinitely better judgement than they had. They had to be able to do better than speaking to each other through Anya!
"Would you like it cast to the military quarters as the other times or to another location, Dark Lady?" Jaina did her best to be perfectly neutral. She would follow Anya's lead and do her part to set a better example for how rangers should conduct themselves.
She could still not help to dwell on how far her neutral tone was from how she and Sylvanas had used to talk, and that cordiality almost sounded hostile when compared.
"Actually, make it to the throne room in the keep this time. Thank you for asking, Ranger Mage." Sylvanas said slowly as if she really was thinking it over sincerely. She was keeping as tight a grip on her voice as Jaina, that was evident. Painfully evident. "Lieutenant Eversong, you and your squadron may as well pack up your personal gear promptly. We will be relocating to the capital for some time. Leave the tent, it will be of more use out here."
Anya saluted impeccably and led Jaina and the others to stow their things, which took a negligible amount of time with the meagre luggage they carried with them for five people.
When they formed up with the rest of the group Jaina saw that Kalira and her squadron had joined them. Velonara was waving at them while no one was watching. It made Jaina a little happier. Whatever else had happened Vel' had gotten Cyndia back and they had all managed to get Westley and his horses safely to Dalaran. Those were valuable things.
"Anya, good –" Sylvanas stopped herself, like she suddenly was unsure if she was still supposed to exercise the same familiarity. "Kalira will have the overall command of Ambermill and the surrounding areas while I am gone. If Dalaran answers then at least they will know her squadron from Westley's account if they have any wits about them. Kalira, there was something you wanted to ask?"
"Yes. Ranger Mage Proudmoore." Kalira turned towards Jaina and looked unusually thoughtful. "In case we are approached by the Kirin Tor while you are in the Undercity, do you have any advice about how I should deal with your fellow archmages?"
Oh.
"Be your usual self." Jaina said as earnestly as she possibly could. "Be rational, collected, stick to the facts. Kirin Tor mages love facts because it gives them something to analyze and feel important about. Be everything that the Scourge's slobbering ghouls are not." She could see Cyndia grin amusedly. "And there is a high probability that they will send Rhonin or someone who knows him well, like Archmage Modera. You can ask whoever they send to relay to him how Velonara's first instinct when she got to hold my mage staff was to try and polymorph the next person into a sheep. That ought to break the ice."
Cyndia and the other Nara's tried futilely to cover their snickering while Velonara stuck her tongue out at Jaina. But she grinned widely so it was very obviously not sincerely meant and she ended up just doing a ridiculous ugly grimace.
Kalira's squadron didn't know what had happened. They thought everything was like it had been.
Like it should be.
"Really, Velonara?" Kalira said dryly with a knowing look at her. "On second thought, why should I be surprised… Perhaps I should volunteer her for testing new polymorphing spells as a show of our good faith instead. Dark Lady." Kalira nodded to Sylvanas and led her teasing squadron away.
Kalira was still sort of intimidating, but Tides knew if she wasn't growing a sense of humour.
Sylvanas on the other hand looked stiff as a post.
"When we return to the capital…" she addressed both Jaina's squadron and the rest of the retinue. "…we will get to work immediately with proclaiming the news about negotiations having begun with Dalaran thanks to our hard-won victory at Ambermill. We state the facts as clearly as possible that we have spoken to them and extended the offer of a military alliance against the Scourge and are awaiting their answer. No more and no less. As an addendum, I want the word spread that eleven Forsaken have been exposed as traitors and former collaborators with the Scarlet Crusade. They have all been exiled for their acts and left to fend for themselves against the Scourge, since Lordaeron does not shelter those who would lend aid to its enemies. I will be by the stairs of the keep within the hour and anyone who so wishes is free to attend where I will address these developments."
"Understood." One of the deathguard commanders saluted.
"Lieutenant…" Sylvanas now addressed Anya directly. "I want you to remain out of public sight during the rest of the day but keep watch over the keep. If you are signalled for or if you detect signs of a riot you will move in by the throne to lend assistance. We will use the throne room as a strong point in that case until we can retreat or gather reinforcements. Hopefully I will be able to call up enough guards to stifle any such tendencies long before they become an issue."
"We'll keep to the edge of the forest then. The west side offers a good view of the keep." Anya answered without hesitation and earned a confirming nod from Sylvanas.
"Very well. Ranger Mage, we are ready."
Jaina stepped forward and opened a portal into the Lordaeron Keep. A little bit of normalcy.
Normalcy…routine arcane travel between opposite ends of your kingdom. Everything was relative.
Jaina found herself grateful for Anya's suggestion of keeping outside the city. The Undercity was not a place she longed for at the moment, for all its quirky charms.
Winter was coming soon. The weather had stayed cold and clear for days and the frost in the morning lingered longer each day. The sun shone with pale light like late autumn suns did. It was still a little bit of warmth to be had. Jaina found it suited the day well.
Anya posted Clea and Kitala as lookouts, Lyana as messenger that kept track of where everyone was, and herself and Jaina in the near forest.
"Jaina. Can we go for a walk? So you keep your warmth up."
"Sure."
They both knew that Jaina could easily warm herself with her fire magic if she had to.
The grey and leafless oaks looked more in place now when they were supposed to be bare anyway. Autumn and winter appeared to Jaina like…like merciful seasons to the undead. The living world did not flaunt its liveliness so much.
Anya did not hurry along, neither with walking nor conversation.
"Jaina… Are you angry with me?" she eventually asked.
"I don't think I am." They walked a few steps more. "I was, earlier."
"I hate myself for going through with it."
"I can imagine that. You are very good at feeling bad about yourself. You all are."
"And you."
"And me. I guess we all are that, aren't we?"
Anya stared ahead at the ground in front of them. Her hand happened to brush against Jaina's, but Jaina saw through the pretence at coincidence and took Anya's hand in her own. At least one thing more could be back to what it should be.
"I…" Anya suddenly stopped and turned around so Jaina could see the front of her when the dark ranger fished out two glimmering chains hanging around her neck. "I have both keys now."
Jaina tilted her head a little, waiting for Anya to elaborate.
"Sylvanas came to me in the night. She was distraught. She threw her necklace down on the ground and said she could clearly not be trusted to carry it anymore."
"Oh." Jaina didn't quite know what more to say. She was thinking many things, there was no denying that.
"I'm going to bury the bracelets. Somewhere only I know where no one can ever find them, and then I will forget where!"
"I believe you, Anya. I think none have liked them less than you have." Jaina squeezed her hand.
Nothing more was said for a while. They turned so they kept walking in a circle and not straying too far from Lyana's eyes.
"I saw Sylvanas shortly after she had been killed and raised a banshee. The Scourge showed her off when they breached the gate of Silvermoon to break the spirits of all who were left to fight. I was with the last group of defenders who tried to hold the gate as long as possible. And I saw her, and in the terrifying undead creature she was I still saw Sylvanas and how she was in pain and torment she could not escape. It worked pretty well. I died shortly afterwards and was raised as another banshee."
"Poor, poor Anya…" Jaina made a notion of pulling her closer but Anya resisted it with one hand firmly on Jaina's arm. She did not want to turn her away, she had more she wanted to tell, Jaina concluded.
"Sylvanas wasn't the one who killed me." Anya pointed out as if she had read Jaina's thoughts. "Some undistinguished skeleton warrior or similar finished me off. But I know that she saw it happen. And that she felt it, that she was given enough awareness of herself and her surroundings to suffer interminably. They made her into a tool denied her own will, but conscious of it. I am not sure if it was the same for the rest of us. I…I do not fully trust my memories from that time to be reliable."
"Sylvanas thinks so." Jaina said lowly. She wanted to weep for Anya and all the others, for every single soul chained to the Lich King. "She described some of that time to me."
"It is…hard to imagine that anyone could ever like you after you have done such things." Anya swallowed. Now she allowed Jaina to draw her closer. "We try, we try so hard to keep such thoughts down but they are never gone. It is the same for all Forsaken."
And it was very much so for their Dark Lady.
"It doesn't excuse anything. I don't mean it like that." Anya said in a small voice. "I don't know what I mean. I'm never any good with words, I-"
Jaina silenced her with a finger placed over the dark ranger's lips. She couldn't say why, maybe she just knew that no amount of words alone would suffice when Anya was like this.
"Do not ever say that you are no good with words, Anya Eversong. If I had left last night like I had in mind it would have been a disaster for everybody. And remind me who it was that persuaded me not to."
"You were right about us yesterday, Jaina. We are a m-mess." Anya shook against her chest. "Death is behind us and the shadow it casts is great enough to blot out anything we were when we were alive. Death is all there is ahead of us, our true deaths, at some unknown point that for all we know does not seem like it could be that far in the future. Death surrounds us, wherever we go. Whatever we do."
"Shhh…"
"When you asked what we would have done if you had asked our advice about the Forsaken prisoners I didn't say much. Because I fear that I would have rather m-murdered each of them myself than have Sylvanas blaming herself for whatever decision she made and its consequences. I would take that blame all on myself instead."
"Anya, how can you possibly think Sylvanas would rather want that?"
"She wouldn't! But that is all I can give her. That is all I can do for her. That is all I am."
"That is not all you are! That is not even what you are!"
Jaina did not even know if she spoke of Anya or all the dark rangers together, and in the end it did not matter for she knew it was the same.
"It is easy to think so." Anya disentangled herself from Jaina's arms so she could look her in the eyes. The red candles that were Anya's own had dimmed terribly. "It is easy to think there are no other options granted to you and never will be. It is easy to make a wrong decision when any outcome but more death looks precious to you."
Jaina thought she was finally seeing what Anya was trying to tell her.
"And it is easy to overlook that we are not alone in being affected so." Anya closed her eyes. "And that time when you were in the dungeons and let those prisoners out, I think that was your Wail."
"You are the wisest banshee that ever haunted Azeroth, do you know that?"
"Clea is the wise one of us…" Anya mumbled.
We are all afraid, Jaina. We are all afraid.
Clea and Anya had spoken different words. But they had meant the same thing.
"How could I ever stay angry with you?" Jaina pulled her close again. That was where Anya belonged. "Do you think the rest of the squadron can forgive me? I caused such a lot of trouble for you all and I hurt your Dark Lady."
"Jaina, they already have." Anya almost sounded a little exasperated and in the middle of everything it nearly made Jaina smile. "It is just you and Sylvanas left."
"We made such a mess of everything." Jaina sighed. "I am still angry with her, I can't deny that. I am angry over what she did and that she could bring herself to do it at all. And she is angry with me and she has every right to be that. The things we did – they don't excuse each other. We both should have acted better."
"If Sylvanas lost you she would never recover..." Anya said in a small voice.
They kept walking and Jaina kept thinking. She had told Anya earlier that she wanted to talk to Sylvanas when they had both calmed down and could talk things through in a sensible way. She needed to do that, they could not afford to be at odds with each other, and for the sake of all others who depended on them if nothing else, they both had to try to find their way to being civil and cooperate.
Jaina already knew that.
But what did she want to do?
From a stately viewpoint she did not feel obligated to stay. Whatever diplomatic blunder and discourtesy the failed landing in Theramore had signified was water under the ship since long. The help Jaina had offered would have far outweighed any that Sylvanas could have hoped to gain from an official audience and negotiations with her, and the way the Forsaken had fought the Scourge, to the betterment of every living thing on the face of Azeroth, was nothing short of heroic.
As heads of state, she and Sylvanas were long since even.
Jaina was actually in a similar position as that time when she had first chosen to stay with Sylvanas and the crew of the Banshee's Wail, except that at that previous time she had given her word not to run away. The choice was only hers. She could bring up a portal to Dalaran in a blink and get out the moment she wanted to.
She hadn't then, and she hadn't now.
Not for some stupid bracelets, but of her own personal choice.
So what did that say about her?
"I want to give Sylvanas a second chance. I want to give us both a second chance. Because we have to be able to do better than this."
Anya squeezed her hand at that.
"Sylvanas is ashamed." the dark ranger said. "Don't ever think otherwise. Even pitted against such formidable opponents as us two Sylvanas is the unchallenged master of blaming herself."
"And she dares to lecture me about not speaking ill of myself?" Jaina huffed and realised that it was the first happier thing she had said about the Dark Lady for some time.
In her commanding way Sylvanas had been supportive, kind and attentive. She had comforted Jaina like not even Anya could when the mirror had broken and methodically crushed one after the other of Jaina's insecurities. And…and they had had such fun together even when things were grim and dire all around them.
"I want to shout at her." Jaina continued. "And I want to apologise to her. I…I would like to give her something nice. I've never had the opportunity to buy something for any of you, actually. What does she like? What does she care much for?"
Anya thought for a while.
"I'm not sure, really. She wasn't much for personal wealth and showing off with it, although her family was rather rich. She was too practical to care, like her mother Lireesa who was Ranger-General before her. Almost all things that were personally important to her would probably have been in her home in Windrunner Spire. But the estate lies far away inside the borders of Quel'thalas where we…are not allowed. And there is a possibility there could be Scourge there too. We know very little of how things stand beyond our own borders."
"You wouldn't happen to know the location?" Jaina asked thoughtfully.
Two days had passed since their return to the Undercity.
Sylvanas had spent every free minute of her time checking and double-checking in on the extra patrol shifts she had assigned the city guard, the deathguard detachment and the dark rangers deployed to assist them.
She was everywhere. She left no post uninspected, no guardsman unbothered, no one at all at ease.
The speech she had held had gone surprisingly smoothly. Sylvanas could not pinpoint any specific reason for it. She had lost touch with the Undercity during the Silverpine campaign and that was inevitable even when you were blessed with the ability to portal back when there was time and mana to spare. Sylvanas allowed herself no illusions though. She would not let her guard down. She would not let her mage come to more harm than she already had, nor Anya and her squadron.
At least that she could do.
Or so Sylvanas had reasoned until Areiel had pulled her out of her ceaseless shifts almost literally.
"Dark Lady. A word?"
"Ranger Captain." Sylvanas acknowledged her title like she was speaking to a superior officer. Areiel did not miss it, of course.
"I won't bite." Then she shook her head slightly, like it was at herself. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I should not be making jokes about a serious matter. Not this one in any case. Can we speak privately for a minute?"
Sylvanas nodded and they found a side street, or side passage strictly speaking, where fewer eyes and ears would be encountered.
"I don't intend to look like I'm going to yell at you again. I think I can behave like a civilised person this time." Areiel almost sighed. "I am still -"
"You are still angry with me."
"I am still angry with you." There was a short pause. "But I am not so blind I don't recognize when someone wants to do better."
"So?"
"You are keeping watch over her, Sylvanas."
"She is at risk and it is partly my doing. Ultimately it was I who brought her here and exposed her to everything vile that Lordaeron has to offer."
Unfortunately, deflection was useless against ranger captains of certain age and experience, and who knew you better than was convenient.
"You are keeping watch over her, and it is endearing, Sylvanas." Areiel said almost gently. "However, there has been two days since you spread the official news about the traitors' banishment. I have honestly not observed anything noteworthy that would indicate any brewing unrest since then. Have you?"
"No. I would have told you, and the captains -"
"I know that." Areiel interrupted her. "I know you would. As would I, of course. But since neither we nor anyone else is seeing signs of any immediate danger, don't you think it could be about time to ease up on the vigil, Dark Lady?"
Sylvanas stared straight ahead. It was not that she had not been thinking the same thing. Whatever immediate reaction the announcement could have sparked should have shown by now. Public feelings cooled quickly. But to let her guard down, to allow herself to in any way slack off, it was undeserved. If she allowed herself to do that, something would happen to her mage.
"The reinforced city guard can return to normal duties. No more double shifts."
"And does that include their Dark Lady too?"
"I will make time for regular tasks."
"Sylvanas…" Areiel said tiredly.
"What?"
"For goodness' sake, talk to her."
"I will. I intend to. I'm…going to."
"Uh-huh…" The palpable skepticism was positively cloying.
"What if they are better off left alone?" With as little of her own bad influence poisoning everything around her. Well, literally actually.
"Your own squadron? Are you intentionally trying to make me angry? Do they look like they would be better off without you? Have Anya, ever, looked like she would?"
No. She had not. And that fundamental fact was something no amount of self-loathing could alter.
Anya and her squadron had made a room in the surface level library wing the new temporary home of Proudmoore, and by extension themselves. While it remained the most intact surface level part of the keep it was still a relative condition, and moreover the space was not intended for living in and not altogether easy to make inhabitable. Objectively the dungeons were actually superior, ever since Anya had had her way in them, apart from the fact that a mage was cut off from her own magic and its conveniences.
Subjectively, no person with a shred of decency would have the stomach to insist that Proudmoore remained quartered in a warded dungeon as things now stood.
Watching Clea and Kitala hauling furniture while Anya and Lyana made makeshift repairs to the walls and roof together with Proudmoore, had also given Sylvanas an idea. An impulsive idea, and impulsive was evidently not when she was at her best, but one she could possibly enlist the help of potentially sounder minds with.
"I am afraid to make everything worse when speaking to Proudmoore. I do not wish to cause more damage to what remains of our relations."
"'Relations'? You normally use the singular form between persons, you know. Sylvanas, who would not fear to mess it up in such a situation? But prolonging it will only make it harder. And weirder."
"There is something I've thought of. That I want to give her."
"A peace offering? You would be hard pressed to find any flowers around these parts…"
"Flowers? What are you talking about?"
"Oh, that's how humans tend to do it, was my impression?"
Sylvanas rolled her eyes very demonstratively.
"Not in these circumstances. That would be in…in another kind of relation."
"Of course." Areiel looked deceptively expressionless. Sylvanas wanted to reward her with a particularly icy glare but their current topic was in fact too important for that.
"I would like to offer her a surprise that will be welcome to her. But I can't do it alone in any reasonable amount of time. So I would actually ask for your help. Not as your Dark Lady, or your former ranger-general, or anything else. Just…as Sylvanas, I suppose."
"Colour me intrigued, Sylvanas."
"It concerns part of the keep…"
Areiel cleared her throat.
"I feel obliged to remind you of a certain long-forgotten instance where I helped my brother-in-law repair a certain barn of his…"
"Yes, it gave out and slowly tipped over to collapse nearly on top of him in front of the neighbours gathered to celebrate its construction. He barely escaped with his skull in one piece." Sylvanas smirked. "Your reputation as a sapper should be legendary. But I will take my chances anyway. I would…appreciate your help in this. It would mean a lot if…you would want to."
"Any time, Sylvanas. Any time. Belore have mercy on Lordaeron Keep…"
"This is, I think, fairly revolutionary. Or just very dumb." Jaina noted absently when she later took a firm hold of her mage staff in one hand and Anya in the other.
"You have not said any mean things about yourself and those are the only times you are dumb. So it must be revolutionary."
"Anya, sometimes you're so sweet you could flavour mana buns. Here we go, then. Azeroth's first known map-based teleportation expedition."
"Raid."
"Yes, Lieutenant. Raid it is."
Jaina drew in all the mana she could muster and searched with her mind along the arcane currents and lines that flowed north like a spider's web. It was nearly, but not quite, like focusing with your eyes on something so that the surroundings blurred. Perhaps that mixed with an all-consuming sensation that blotted everything else out. Anya caressing your toes with soapy hands came to mind, but that was something Jaina was inclined to keep out of magical theory.
Across, over, under – leylines and flowing magic knew not necessarily physical bounds – Jaina's consciousness fixed upon a point where land and sea looked in a way she had memorized next to land and sea she knew would be next to this location.
There.
She wove her spell complete.
They were away.
The sunset made the skeletal crowns of the trees glow with yellow-red light that streamed through. It would soon become completely dark.
All was quiet. Not a bird sang, no wind made any leaves tremble. The land was dead around them.
"Shhh…" Anya whispered to her while she crouched under the shade of a willow tree. "I think we could be at the right place, but let me look around."
"Do you recognize anything?" Jaina whispered back. Even the dried forests of Lordaeron were in a way less unsettling than this place. Lordaeron was blighted and dead, this forest was haunted. Or felt so anyway.
"Not exactly. When I came here everything was alive around me." Anya peered into the grey patchwork of light and dark and shadow ahead. "There looks to be open ground in that direction, we start with that."
Jaina followed her. Anya tip-toed between twigs and branches like a noiseless shadow while Jaina thought herself barrelling forward like a herd of cattle in comparison.
The opening ahead turned out to be a road, or a wide path through the wood.
"I think we could be on the right track…" Anya pulled at her cloak and pointed ahead. "That way."
The dirt road lead upward in a wide turn and now when the last rays of sunlight had disappeared Jaina had to struggle to make out anything in detail, yet there were patches of open sky here and there and they found themselves coming out on a hill or ridge with a wide view ahead out over a shadowy landscape. But immediately in front of them were three tall towers, round and narrow like tree trunks as the elves favoured, dark and black and foreboding.
"Hide!" Anya hissed and pulled Jaina with her under a tree. "Make yourself invisible."
Jaina obeyed without question. She wove the spell so that Anya could detect her.
Anya peeked out and then pulled at Jaina's cloak, and step by careful step they made their way back out on the road.
"Watch." Anya whispered into her ear and probably pointed ahead but she was wrapped in shadow and Jaina could not discern her arm.
There was only darkness in various forms and shapes ahead, but then…
Silvery dots in the sky. Pale, wavy things that shone like moonlight.
"What are they?"
"Banshees."
"Like you?"
"Not exactly. They are full banshees, or what you want to call it, without a body of their own to possess." Anya explained in the ever-present whisper.
"They're…they're beautiful in a way. Is that what the rest of you look like if you shift?"
"Pretty much. Some are more blue or grey than silvery, and we think most of us dark rangers are darker in our banshee form than most. Like Sylvanas and the black flames you see at times."
"What do you look like, Anya?"
"I don't know, really. I haven't…very clear memories about that from…earlier."
"You've never…?"
"I only took my banshee form twice voluntarily and I was too preoccupied to spare a thought for what I looked like at the time."
Anya was still looking for something, or simply scouting the surroundings ahead, so after a count of ten Jaina decided that she just had to ask.
"When was that?"
"When we brought you aboard the Banshee's Wail. And then when I scaled the walls of Hearthglen."
Jaina hugged her so hard they both nearly toppled into the grass.
"Jaina, quiet!" Anya hissed, very worried.
"You took your banshee form to rescue me." Jaina whispered back affectionately. "It is something you absolutely don't like doing, that much is plain obvious and will not press you about why, but you did it anyway. My brave, sweet little ghost."
"I think there is a technical difference between ghosts and banshees…" Anya mumbled shyly. "I don't think my cousins up ahead have spotted us. So long as we are quiet about it our best bet is to hurry straight ahead for the leftmost tower, that used to be Sylvanas' home."
"Alright. After you."
"One, two…forward."
Hiding in plain sight – plain darkness as it were – rarely felt so exposing as it did now. Jaina concentrated on keeping up with Anya and making as little noise as possible and to not look up where eerie creatures of silvery mist may appear at any time.
"Looks clear so far." Anya breathed into her ear in the shadows under the doorway. "Nicely done, Jaina. Welcome to Windrunner Spire."
It was like another world inside. A past, a lingering all-encompassing memory of a time that had finally gone to rest, that Jaina stepped into. She nearly felt like turning back at the threshold like the uninvited guest she was.
Here the living Sylvanas had lived, grown, laughed and cried and felt safe long, long ago. She had had a family and a home.
A beautiful home too it was. The view must have been spectacular in daylight when the land was still alive around and the oval, leaf-shaped doorways and windows made the small floors seem airy and larger than they really were. Jaina would bet the windowsills here had made excellent reading spots.
"It is a bit of a time since I was last here but I think the best bet is to start from the top. See if you can find a room that looks like it could be hers. You know, full of ranger regalia and such…"
Anya climbed a stair higher than Jaina, who went to work one floor above what looked like a common room. Upstairs things were more broken, mostly because there were more items about she realised. These had been bedrooms and they had been filled with both furniture and precious personal effects. The Scourge minions that had come had turned it upside down.
There was no method behind the destruction and randomly one whole object would be lying in a pile of broken ones and underline the stark contrast between them. It saddened Jaina to see it.
For whatever wrongs Sylvanas had done she did not deserve to have her home desecrated like this. It may be far from the worst the Scourge had done – in the end it was all just objects – but Jaina mourned it all the same. Areiel's student, Anya's lieutenant and Vereesa's big sister had lived here, for Tides' sake! And that Sylvanas had been a good person.
Maybe she could still be.
Was that not the whole point?
Was that not what Jaina wanted so badly that she had even dared to cross Sylvanas for it?
She couldn't give up on it now. Even if a part inside her was still furious with Her Intolerable Dark Ladyness.
But what should they bring back from all this mess? And how could they tell what was Sylvanas' and what was her sisters'? Perhaps Anya had better luck.
Something clattered.
That was not like Anya. Jaina frowned and tightened the grip of her staff. And it had come from below. Had she become so absorbed in thinking of Sylvanas' home and past that she had missed Anya going down?
On the other hand, since when did you need to be distracted to miss Anya Eversong's gait?
Jaina tip-toed down the stairs into the common room. No Anya. She snuck closer to one of the windows to look out from behind the wall but only saw the night sky. This was odd, and for all the magics at her disposal it was unsettling. Jaina found that she was sweating despite the cold weather.
Anya would either still be upstairs or one floor further below, but she shouldn't have gone down so far without telling, Jaina decided. That was when she heard another small noise. Definitely from below. She approached the stair carefully. If Anya was staying hidden, was there a chance she could not call out lest she alert one of the banshees? Was she trying to signal with sounds of falling items, which might be ignored in a derelict building?
Jaina breathed out in relief when she quickly peeked out and caught sight of a dark cloak below. Whatever it was that was about they would deal with it together. She hurried quietly down the stair, and the next moment found herself face to face with a dark ranger with her bow drawn.
It was not Anya.