They get back to Roman's apartment, stumbling against the wall as Gerri pushes him, kissing him fiercely. She didn't touch him on the drive home, now his head is spinning as he remembers to kick the door shut.
He's never been good at kissing, never seen the point of it, really. This kiss is messy, not like in the movies. But it feels good, right. It feels like them.
"Bedroom?" he manages, remembering his promise to her in the hotel room. I'd lay you badly but I'd lay you gladly.
"No." She shakes her head and pushes him down onto the couch. "Here." She straddles him and he thinks he might explode then and there.
She reaches up to hold his wrists above his head, her other hand raking through his hair. "Okay?" she asks. She's wondering if they need a safety word.
"Never better," he says honestly. She smiles and kisses him again.
The next twenty minutes are a blur, a surreal dream as she touches him and lets him touch her, giving him orders that he's only too happy to carry out. They end up curled up on the floor, clothes discarded, covered only by a throw he had the presence of mind to drag over them.
"That was… wow." He manages finally.
"Yeah, you did good." She smiles at him.
"I did?"
"Yeah. You're better than you think you are."
He puffs his chest out in pride. "We can do the whole PIV thing, if you want."
"Do you want to?"
"I mean, that's kind of the main event, isn't it?"
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to," she assures him. God, he loves her so much.
"I want to," he says hesitantly, cupping her face. "I want to do everything with you. It's just…" He's always feared that kind of intimacy, it triggers his fight, flight or freeze response and he doesn't want to end up recoiling from Gerri like he did Grace or Tabitha.
She seems to understand without explanation. "There's no rush."
He smiles and brushes the hair off her face. "You're amazing, Ger."
"And you're a fucking matador," she says, making him laugh. He can't believe she remembers him saying that.
Eventually they move into the bedroom and cuddle up under the bedsheets, Gerri holding him against her chest. He can't remember ever being this happy and for the first time since his father's death, he falls asleep without pills.