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Chapter 3
"If you don't mind me asking, Mandalore, what are we doing here?" Garr asked, standing a few steps behind the Taung. Amiel – his son – was standing next to him, though still dressed in his regular clothes. The only part of the Mandalorian armor on his body was the helmet. Despite being supplied with it, Beskar was still a rare find. Creating a full armor for a boy who was still growing up would be a waste, even if it could be reforged. For the time being, Amiel would grow up at the Mandalore's side, learning what it meant to be the Raven. "This is not a Republic World."
Their fleet had just dropped out of Hyperspace in the Althir System; with the engines still active, their ships flew lazily towards the only inhabited world – Althir III. The planet shone brightly in front of them, contrasting the darkness of space around it. Garr turned his head; once again, just as at the take-off, shivers of excitement ran down his spine. A few months have passed since the Mandalore gathered the Clan Leaders, and it was clear none of them wasted that time. When Garr returned to the capital with his son, twenty cruisers were already waiting for him and the others, and even more Basilisks. Now, the time has come for them to be christened in battle.
"The majority of our most experienced warriors perished under Exar Kun," the Mandalore replied, still staring at the slowly approaching world. "Attacking the Republic right away would be suicide, Raven. First, the new generation must taste combat before we can move on to our real target. And it wouldn't do us any good if the Republic found out about us prematurely. Althir is as far from its territory as it can get – with luck, this raid will go unnoticed by them."
Garr nodded his head, accepting the explanation. Most of the Clan Leaders themselves gained that position prematurely, without proving themselves earlier in combat. Garr closed his eyes, recalling his father's death, which occurred halfway through Exar Kun's war. Only his age guaranteed Garr the position at Mandalore the Indomitable's side – being two years older than Arused – but he quickly proved himself to be the right choice for a Clan Leader. Gar clenched his fists, remembering the Jedi he killed with his bare hands, avenging his father's death. Now, he had three more members of his family to avenge.
"Prepare the Basilisks," Mandalore ordered, bringing Garr out of his thoughts. Raven shook his head, refocusing on the present. It took him a few seconds to realize that the Mandalore wasn't talking to him directly but to the Mandalorians on the other ships; the Taung was holding his communicator in his hand, though the only sound coming from the small device was the annoying buzzing noise of static. "Take off as soon as we enter the atmosphere and follow my lead," he added, turning off the communicator. "Garr, Amiel, let's go."
Both father and son froze where they stood. Garr turned his head to look at his son – Mandalorian or not, he was still only ten years old. "I thought I've said it as clearly as possible," the Mandalore added when none of the Ravens moved.
"Mandalore, forgive me, but… he's just a boy," Garr replied, shifting his weight from one leg to another. "Shouldn't he-?"
"And how old were you when you first fought?" the Mandalore interrupted him.
"Older than him," Garr countered sternly. "He's my only son – the last member of my Clan, except for me."
"He will be riding with me," the tall Taung decided as if he didn't hear Garr's words. "As I've said, the fresh generation also needs to taste the real combat. Otherwise, your son will never join us."
"He doesn't even have an amor!"
"Gives you more reasons to fulfill your duty as my personal guard, am I right?" the Mandalore asked, making sure his weapons were easily accessible.
"He won't survive the flight through the atmosphere!" Garr continued, walking towards the Mandalore when he saw his leader already heading towards the bridge's exit.
"I assure you that he will, Raven," the Mandalore countered. "Amiel, come here!" he ordered without even turning around. Hesitantly, the little boy took a step forward, unsure who he should obey – his father or his leader. Garr stopped him, placing his hand on the boy's chest. It didn't go unnoticed by the Mandalore, though; the tall Taung turned away from the door and returned to the last two members of the Raven Clan. Garr had to raise his head to look at the Mandalore's face, hidden behind the Mask. Disobeying his Leader before the first battle even began wasn't a good idea, but the chance of losing his only child was even worse, in his opinion.
"My predecessor used to cut down those that disobeyed his orders," the Taung spoke; his tone was much lower and colder than before. Garr gritted his teeth to prevent himself from shaking slightly; showing fear in front of the man he was supposed to protect wouldn't end well. "But I believe that all you wanted to do was to point out that your son doesn't have armor," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "And I believe we can find something for him in the cargo hold. Not Beskar, but enough to keep him alive in the atmosphere. And when it comes to the battle… as I've said, you will be more determined to do your duties if your son rides with me. Sooner or later, he will have to learn our ways, and delaying it will only bring more harm than good."
"I want to go, Dad," Amiel's words reached him from behind his back, causing Garr to turn around sharply. His son's voice was weak and hesitant, and the young boy tried to mask it by clearing his throat. "I want to go," he repeated, much more firmly than before. "I also lost a part of my family two years ago – I want to avenge them as well. And I can't do it if I don't learn how to fight. This is the way," Amiel added, raising his head as high as he could to look at Garr's helmet. Despite his worries, Garr couldn't stop the proud smile that blossomed on his lips, even though it remained hidden.
"This is the way," he replied.
"Attaboy," the Mandalore commented, placing his hand on Amiel's shoulder; by doing this, he moved Garr away from his son. "Come on then; we'll find you something to wear," he said, resuming his walk towards the door, practically dragging Amiel with him. "Go to the hangar and prepare your Basilisk, Garr," he said, turning his head to look one last time at the Leader of Clan Raven. "We'll meet you there. Tell me, young one, have you ever held a rifle?" he asked, turning his attention back to Amiel. The rest of their conversation was blocked off by the door sliding shut behind them as they left the bridge. Garr sighed heavily and stepped through the door as well, heading to the hangars.
"Hold them," Master Kae instructed. Raven furrowed his eyebrows, concentrating as hard as he could on the task at hand. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead. His eyes were closed, so he couldn't see the result of his work, but he could feel it. Numerous cubes floated in the training room as Raven focused on the Force within him. The cup he started his training with was long forgotten.
A few months have already passed since they arrived at Dantooine. Each day of every week was filled with seemingly endless practice under the watchful eye of Master Kae. He would wake up every day before sunrise and, after breakfast, would continue his lessons, taking as short breaks as possible. Every evening, he went to bed completely and utterly exhausted, but no one could deny that his progress was visible. Master Kae's rigorous training has put him well ahead of other students his age.
"Now, I want you to start placing them on top of each other," Master Kae instructed, observing her student's training from a distance. "One at a time. Don't start moving another cube unless you're done with the previous one."
Raven took in a deep breath, still keeping his eyes closed. Sweat rolled down his face as the young boy concentrated on the cubes in the air and his master's instructions. Lifting and holding the cubes was already difficult, but he knew that sooner or later, Master Kae would decide to go further with his training. After all, he's been practicing this exercise for the past week. And if there was one thing that Raven had learned under the watchful eye of Arren Kae, it's that one week was enough, in her opinion, to take the next step. Whether he shared those opinions or not was inconsequential.
Taking in yet another deep breath, Raven moved his right hand. Until that moment, he kept his arms in front of him, resting his elbows on his knees as he focused on holding the cubes in the air. Arren watched from a distance, with a small smile dancing in the corners of her lips, as one of the cubes started moving through the air. She turned a blind eye to the shaking of the rest of the small objects. Even though it was enormous, the boy's potential didn't make him fail-proof. And as long as her student managed to keep the shaking to a minimum, Arren would happily let this one thing go unnoticed. If he maintains his progress, that is, she corrected herself, crossing her arms on her chest.
A single droplet of sweat ran down Raven's face and fell on his tunic as he did his best to complete the task. His arms felt as if they were made of iron, and the cubes seemed ready to pin him to the floor at any moment, even though they were just pieces of wood with an empty interior. The muscles on his face spasmed uncontrollably as the sweat tickled his skin, though he tried to maintain his focus.
Raven spread the fingers of his left hand as wide as he could as if he wanted to physically hold the cubes. With careful movements, he allowed the training objects to leave the grasp of his right hand, focusing their weight entirely on his left arm. His entire forearm trembled, and the cubes shook more violently in the air. None of them fell to the ground, though. Taking in a few deep breaths to calm himself, Raven focused on the object closest to him. The fingers of his right hand curled slightly as if he was indeed grabbing it, even though it was levitating a few dozen centimeters away from him. His eyes clenched more tightly as the cube started moving.
The small object floated lazily through the air toward the young boy. With each centimeter it passed, it approached the floor more and more until it almost scraped the carpet. Suddenly, the cube stopped its flight, resting a few centimeters away from Raven. With an almost unnoticeable movement of his fingers, the young student placed the cube carefully in front of him. He sighed heavily, no longer feeling the wooden object's weight through the Force.
Arren watched, mesmerized, as her student continued his task, holding the remaining cubes with one hand while maneuvering one of them with the other. It took some time, but the small tower in front of him was growing taller and taller with each passing minute. Arren cocked her head, biting her lower lip. Let's see if he can focus hard enough, she thought, raising her hand.
Just as only five cubes remained floating in the air, with the sixth one already being placed on top of the tower, Raven felt something he had never felt before in the training room. If he could compare it to anything, it was like a gust of wind on the plains of Dantooine. However, there were no windows in the room, and the air conditioning was put to a minimum. And yet, his tunic fluttered wildly, and his hands trembled as the sudden movement attacked him seemingly out of nowhere. Taken by surprise, he failed to maintain his focus on the wooden cubes. The five objects that were floating in the air fell silently on the carpet, while the one he tried to place on top of the tower collided with those already placed, destroying his hard work.
"What was that?" Raven asked, opening his eyes for the first time since he began the exercise. He scowled upon noticing that all the cubes were scattered on the ground, and not piled on top of each other as he was instructed.
"That was me messing with you, young one," Arren replied, walking towards her student; a small chuckle escaped her lips when she saw the puzzled look on the boy's face. "Please, forgive an old woman, Raven. I've spent decades in the Archives, and while I loved every second of it, I can't say I had much entertainment," Arren explained, closing the distance between them. She sat down in front of her student, crossing her legs. "I didn't mean to hinder your progress or anything – just wanted to see if you were, somehow, prepared for the unexpected."
"I can't be prepared for something I don't expect to happen, Master Kae," Raven countered with a frown, picking up one of the wooden cubes.
"You think so, young one?" Arren asked with a raised eyebrow. "I've taken you to the plains of Dantooine – you saw what life looks like out there, amongst the less intelligent beings. You saw the Iriaz roaming the plains in search of food. And that's just one aspect of their main goal in life, which is survival. On the other hand, they must always remain wary of their surroundings lest they become prey to Kath Hounds or hunters. They aren't being attacked each time they run through the plains, but they know there is a possibility for that to happen. It's an instinct for them to expect an attack at any point and do their best to survive."
"But if the Iriaz are being attacked, that means they somehow expect it to happen," Raven commented after a moment of silence, still playing with the wooden cube in his hands. "So, they aren't prepared for the unexpected."
"You never cease to amaze me, young one," Arren replied with a gentle smile. "You're right – an attack is not something unexpected for the Iriaz. Today, I demonstrated to you that your actions won't always remain uninterrupted. Once you become older and leave the safety of the Enclave to serve the Galaxy and the Force as the Jedi Knight, you will meet obstacles on your path, of that I'm certain. Sometimes, they can come from other sentient beings you may encounter. Other times, the Galaxy itself will stand in your way. And more often than not, it will be something you have no control over whatsoever. My point is – you can never drop your guard. I won't 'attack' you every day, but I want you to always remain vigilant. In not so distant future, I'll teach you how to listen to the Force – it will help you to be prepared for whatever life might throw at you."
"How?" Raven asked, biting his lower lip.
"You'll understand when the time is right, my young Apprentice," Arren replied, failing to resist the urge to ruffle the boy's black hair. The small smile that graced his lips was mirrored on her own face. "Now, I believe it's time for some theory lessons, wouldn't you agree, young one?" she asked, effectively wiping away the smile from Raven's face. Arren had to bite her lower lip to prevent herself from chuckling. "Believe me, I'd much rather watch your progress in the ways of the Force, but you're still only an Apprentice. You must also learn and understand the Jedi Code if you want to become a Padawan. Have you studied the first line as I've asked?"
"Yes, Master Kae," Raven replied, blinking a few times. The mere mention of the Jedi Code made him remember all the evenings he spent in his bed, meditating upon the seemingly simple tenet, or when he stayed so late in the Library that Master Dorak had to physically remove him from there and tell him to return the next day. Both Alek and Meetra seemed to find his studying amusing. Or perhaps it was the exhaustion that was written all over his face for the past few weeks? Raven had no idea.
"Then go ahead, and tell me what you've learned," Arren instructed, clearing her throat as she readjusted her robe.
"There is no emotion, there is peace," Raven began, sighing heavily. The wooden cube fell out of his hand, landing on the carpet. "If I want to become a Jedi, I should always have full control over my emotions and not allow them to cloud my thoughts. Only then can I achieve full clarity and open my mind entirely to the Force. Ideally, I should get rid of all emotions if I want to become a true Jedi."
"You're saying 'should' instead of 'will,'" Arren noticed, cocking her head to the side. "And your mind is anything but clear and peaceful; I sense the turmoil in you as you speak, and I sensed it earlier when you were practicing. You understand the importance of what you had learned but you don't believe in it. Why is that?"
"I don't know," Raven replied after a few minutes of silence, shrugging his shoulders. "It doesn't make much sense to me."
"The Code is often difficult to understand even for the greatest Masters of the Order," Arren commented. "It doesn't really surprise me that it doesn't make sense to you, young one. Truth is, many Apprentices that grew up to become Padawans and later Jedi Knights don't understand the Code as it was supposed to be understood. They obey it, yes, but unfortunately, many of them are like domesticated Kath Hounds. They follow the instructions they are given because they learned what specific words mean. But should one rearrange those words or use others with the same meaning, they wouldn't be able to understand a thing. The time for you to fully comprehend the tenets of the Code will come, young one. But I want to know why you haven't cleared your mind before our practice," Arren added, narrowing her eyes at the boy in front of her. "You have been doing it for the past few months of your training – you learned firsthand the importance of it. And yet, you've ignored it today and still succeeded in your task," she clarified.
"I had the same dream I had back on Coruscant tonight," Raven muttered. Even though Arren's question remained unasked, the young boy could still feel it hanging in the air. It filled him with discomfort similar to being locked in a too-humid room. "And not only tonight; I dreamt about it for the past few nights. Master Lamar was there again, and other Jedi I didn't recognize. And those two Mandalorians."
"You saw something else, didn't you?" Arren asked, leaning forward. She had to force herself to remain calm and not let her hands tremble. She had been able to avoid talking with the boy about that topic for half a year already, but if her senses were correct, the dreaded time of questions and answers had come.
And yet, this small revelation brought some sort of relief to Arren. Raven's distraction of the past few days, the dark bags under his eyes, and the invisible weight that rested on his shoulders each time he allowed them to slump, thinking no one was looking… all those little things suddenly started making sense to her. It took Arren a few seconds to realize that the boy in front of her was somehow able to hide all of this from her.
"Those Mandalorians," Raven began, taking in a deep breath. His whole body was shaking, and he was looking anywhere but at his Master. "They had the same tattoo I have," he muttered, staring at the floor. "I… I read about the Mandalorians a little more when I was in the Library," Raven revealed. "The Clan Tattoo is passed from parents to a child, and Clan Raven is nearly extinct…"
Arren only listened in silence as the boy continued talking; each word he said came faster than the previous one until they all merged into one incomprehensible gibbering. The older woman chuckled quietly, despite the seriousness of what Raven was saying. Her small smile quickly disappeared as the boy took in a few deep breaths to calm himself and return his speech to normal.
"And you believe you dreamt of your parents," Arren finished for him. There was no need to ask; the boy's tone, hesitation, and nervousness already implied the answer. Only a matter of him saying it openly remained. Though it seemed that a simple nod was all the answer she would get. "I won't lie to you, Raven – if I want you to be my Apprentice and a Padawan in the future, I need your trust just as you need mine. From what you described, I can tell you that you indeed dreamt of your parents. Master Lamar told us in detail what happened on the day you were brought to the Temple," Arren clarified. "That's how I recognized what you dreamt of. The man – Arused – was your father. The Jedi Order made contact with him and his wife when you were discovered as a Force-sensitive, though they refused to let you go."
The boy's reaction was difficult to read, even for Arren. It certainly didn't help that he wasn't looking at her. She could understand it, though. Raven has already reached some conclusions on his own, and her words would only guide him further. She dried the palms of her hands against her robes. She spent hours almost every night, thinking about how this conversation between them would go. But even countless rehearsals of this talk in her mind couldn't fully prepare her for the real one. After all, how was someone supposed to tell a child that he was being raised by the people who murdered his family?
"He said he already gave the answer," Raven muttered, staring at the carpet. "And that he would only let me go over his dead body," he added. Arren had to augment her hearing with the Force; otherwise, she wouldn't be able to hear what her student had just said. She didn't have to ask who Raven was talking about, though. "Is that what happened?" the young boy finally asked, though he still didn't dare to look at her.
Arren took in a deep but quiet breath. Not at all as planned, she commented in her mind, closing her eyes. But there was no real way to plan that conversation. Her every answer would just raise more questions – questions she didn't deem safe to reply to. But it had to be done. She agreed to it by accepting Master Kardal's request to train the boy. And every Jedi, despite their Masters' worries and concerns, had to be told about the Dark Side.
"Mandalorians value their honor almost more than anything," Arren replied, collecting her thoughts. "No matter if it's related to combat or not. They treat their every word, every sentence, like an oath. To break it would mean losing their honor – something that is unacceptable to them. You heard what your father said – by choosing not to give you to the Order, he made one such vow. And I'm certain he didn't break it."
Even though Raven's head was bowed, Arren could still see tears gathering in his eyes. She felt an ice hand gripping her heart tightly as she thought of anything that she could say to her Apprentice. Anything that could ease the pain she sensed from him. But for all her time spent in the Archives, studying the unending wisdom gathered throughout Millenia, Arren didn't manage to come up with anything. She could only sit there, staring helplessly at the suffering of the boy she started seeing as her own son.
"Why?" Raven finally broke the silence. His voice was broken, and that one single word came out as a shaky whisper, barely audible. Arren had to acknowledge, though, that despite the boy's body's desires, he held back the sobs. She wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad sign.
"I promise I'll tell you one day, Raven," she said. "I know that you deserve to know the truth – I wholeheartedly agree with that," Arren added quickly, noticing that the boy was going to say something. "But if you are to understand why your past is what it is, there are some things you need to learn first. And the first tenet of the Code is a perfect place to start."
Arren was well aware that she was taking a huge risk at that moment. However, she was also glad that the truth came out so early – at least, her Apprentice was only making the first steps in the ways of the Force, and he still wasn't trained in lightsaber combat. She saw Raven's teeth clenching tightly, hidden behind his lips that formed a thin line. His small hands curled into fists, and Arren could swear she heard a few objects in the training room shaking suddenly.
And there was no mistaking as to where the sudden anger she felt through the Force came from.
"There is no emotion, there is peace," Arren recited, hoping to, somehow, calm the boy in front of her. "There is a reason why this is the opening line of the Jedi Code and why it's one of the first things every Jedi learns. You must understand, young one, the importance of the gift you and every Jedi have – feeling the Force and all Its wonders is magnificent, but it also comes with great responsibility. Until now, you only heard of the Jedi – guardians of peace. Our first motivation in life is to serve and protect others," she repeated the words she told him so long ago. And kill, a voice whispered in her mind, though it certainly didn't belong to Arren. She stared, wide-eyed, at the boy in front of her.
The Force swirled around the young boy violently as he kept thinking about his dream and his parents. Arren took in a deep breath, not leaving her eyes from her Apprentice. For the first time since she started teaching him, she saw the roots of the Dark Side within the boy. And for the first time, she wondered if, perhaps, Master Lamar was right in his concerns regarding training the boy.
She bit her lower lip as Master Lamar's face flashed in her mind's eyes, even though that thought didn't belong to her, just as those two simple words from earlier. She saw him for a split second, with his lightsaber ignited, standing in front of a house on Mandalore.
That mental image shifted almost instantly into another one. For the briefest of moments, she saw Master Lamar's lifeless body, lying in some unknown world, pierced by a lightsaber.
However, Arren wasn't made a Master because of nothing. Decades spent in the Archives, so close to the Vaults that she could hear whispers and hisses of Sith Holocrons, gave her more insight into the ways of the Dark Side without falling to it than any other Jedi could hope to gain. At the very least, she had theoretical knowledge. The temptation she willingly faced on her own throughout the years taught her how to defend herself from the lure of the Dark Side. And she would be damned if she didn't pass that knowledge to her Apprentice.
"However, there are other Force-sensitives in the Galaxy," Arren continued, clearing her throat. "They serve no one but themselves. In contrary to the Jedi, they don't see Force as an ally but as a tool – they use It and bend It to their will. That's why I told you never to say that you 'use the Force,' Raven," she said, lifting the boy's head to make him look at her. "Just as there is night and day, light and darkness, there is a similar division in the Force – the Light Side," Arren took in a deep breath. "And the Dark Side."
"I've told you already that the Force is like a living creature. Your connection to it is made of all of that which makes you alive, including your emotions. You don't understand the first tenet of the Jedi Code because your emotions fueled your connection to the Force, and you were able to do the exercises without clearing your mind. It is a dangerous path, young one, and I don't wish to see you walking down it. I didn't tell you about the Dark Side to encourage you to fall into it but so you may become aware of one of the many dangers that await you in the future. For there is no ignorance, there is knowledge. This is the second tenet of the Jedi Code."
Arren took in a deep breath, studying her Apprentice's expression. The turmoil she sensed earlier was still there – it was both visible with the naked eye and noticeable in the Force. Master Lamar's dead body flashed through her mind once again; she shook her head to get rid of those thoughts. It was nothing more than the temptation of the Dark Side.
"You aren't the first one to be separated from your parents at such a young age, Raven," she said, doing her best to make her voice sound calm and soothing. "In fact, that is the case for every Jedi in the Order. Emotions can be dangerous if one uses them as a direction in their lives. And a family is the first place where one learns emotions," Arren continued, softly lifting Raven's chin to force him to look at her. "I'm not saying that what was done to you and your parents was right, Raven. But what is done cannot be undone. Perhaps it was necessary for you to become a Jedi. Perhaps this was the will of the Force."
"But you said that Jedi are guardians of peace," Raven countered. "What I saw in my dreams… it didn't look like that."
Arren sighed heavily. The boy's wisdom was both a blessing and a curse. "There was a reason why certain decisions were made shortly before you were brought to the Order, Raven. Sometimes, maintaining peace requires… drastic actions. I swear to you, I will explain it later, once you're older. Do you trust me, Raven?"
"Yes," he muttered, looking between Arren's face and the floor.
"Then I ask you to trust me with this as well. I know what happened to your parents. I know what decisions were made, and why. And I promise to you, I will tell you one day when you're ready," Arren replied. "And for that, you need to understand the Jedi Code. You know the first line already – there is no emotion, there is peace. And the second one I've told you today – there is no ignorance, there is knowledge. Don't let your emotions on this matter cloud your judgment, young one, or you will go nowhere with your training. If you allow your anger and hatred to consume you, the path to becoming a Jedi Knight will be closed to you. I understand it's difficult, but I want you to let go of all your thoughts about what you've seen and about Master Lamar."
"I… I didn't-"
"Yes, you did," Arren interrupted him. "I could feel it through the Force, Raven. I sensed your distress and your thoughts. Those can lead you down the Dark Side, and as your Master, I swore to do my best to prevent you from walking down that path."
"What is the Dark Side, Master Kae?"
Arren sighed heavily again. "It's also something that we shall discuss at some point in the future. For now, all you need to know is that letting your emotions guide your actions is like becoming a wild animal. Emotions are nothing but evolved instincts that once ruled us. And neither you, nor I, are wild animals, Raven. You control your emotions, not the other way around. Do you understand? I'm not asking you to understand what has happened to you and your family, but what I've told you just now."
"I think I understand, Master Kae," Raven muttered after a moment of hesitation.
Even though the turmoil in the young boy still remained, Arren didn't sense any deception from him. "Good," she replied, correcting her robes. "Now, let's continue with your training. I want you to clear your mind before you begin, though. And remember – I will know if you don't do it."
Thank you for the 12 reviews! Sorry for the delay – I had to keep up with my college assignments. Not to mention that I want this fic to be done right, and I want every chapter to be as perfect as I can make it. Also, since I'm walking blindly through those first sessions of Jedi Training and the Mandalorian Wars, I'd really appreciate your thoughts about my work. And also, let me know what you think about me naming the chapters – it's the first time I'm doing it. See you next time.