Judy sat uncomfortably in her chair, paws folded, looking at the ground.
It was the next morning. She was in Bogo's office. And he was yelling at her.
The night before, after her "little episode" as Bogo had called it, he had sent her straight home while he worked to try and "clean up her mess". That would have meant him calling an ambulance for Apollo, taking statements from witnesses, and tending to Nick in whatever way he could. It would undoubtedly have taken all night to finish all that work, which meant that she now had to deal with an angry police chief who was running on no sleep and a lot of pent-up emotion.
She had not rested well either. Her mind kept her from falling asleep, instead replaying what she did over and over and over again. There was nothing Bogo could say now that could make her feel worse than she felt already.
That, of course, did not stop him from trying. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" he shouted, leaning his weight almost entirely onto the desk that separated the two of them. "Do you have any idea what this looks like for the ZPD? What this looks like for you?"
"I'm sorry, sir," she answered softly.
"You're sorry?" Bogo repeated. "You're sorry?" His face contorted into the fakest smile Judy had ever seen in her life. "Oh, that makes everything better, then. I guess I can go tell Gazelle that her concert was not a complete failure, because you're sorry. Or how about I tell Assistant Mayor Rolfe that there's no need to force shock collars on the entire predator population, because you're sorry."
Judy felt her lip begin to quiver. "Chief…?"
Bogo ignored her. He stood up, waved his arms dramatically, and dropped his phony smile. "Or maybe I can tell Officer Wilde that the trauma you've caused him doesn't matter…" He slammed his hooves on his desk and yelled at the top of his lungs. "Because you're sorry!"
Judy had to fight to hold back her tears. She wasn't frightened by Bogo; she knew he was suddenly under a lot of undue stress because of her. He was venting, more than anything, and she knew he would still side with her against anyone who raised questions. Even though she had lashed out the previous night, he was still her superior, and he was well-known for protecting his officers when push came to shove.
No, she wasn't scared of Bogo. But she knew he was right. She had caused a lot of problems the night before. Between Apollo's attack on Gazelle, and then her attack on Apollo, the whole city knew what had happened. She had messed up, and she knew it. She had used excessive force against Apollo, who even now was still in the hospital being treated for his injuries. She had given the ZPD a bad name thanks to her actions, and she knew there would be investigation probes and negative publicity in the near future.
And worst of all, she had harmed Nick. She had slashed him on the face—which somehow activated his shock collar. She couldn't get the image out of her head, of the very moment her claws had connected with his cheek. She wished she could rewind time and stop it from happening; at the moment, she would be willing to do just about anything to make it happen.
I would never do that, she told herself repeatedly. I would never hurt Nick. Never…
She forced herself to look Bogo in the eye. "That wasn't me, Chief Bogo," she insisted. "You know I'm not like that. I wasn't in control. It's just like what's been happening to the predators: I had no control over my actions."
Bogo's hooves dug deeper into his desk, leaving marks that would most likely never buff out. "Ah, yes," he responded, his voice quieter now but still stern. "How could I forget? The same excuse you've been repeating over and over."
"But it's not an ex—" Judy started.
"Hopps…" Bogo took a deep breath, rubbed his eyes, and finally sat back down in his chair. "You can't hide behind a coffee cup." He paused, then repeated himself to make sure he was understood. "A coffee cup."
Judy sank further into her chair. It was silly, she knew, but it was the only thing that made sense to her. Apollo had handed her the cup of coffee, and she had taken a few sips from it. Then, mere minutes later, both of them had gone berserk at almost the exact same time.
She had realized it almost immediately after it all happened. When Bogo had ordered her to go home the night before, she had to walk backstage to reach the car. While there, she had noticed the cup she and Apollo had used, and persuaded Bogo to have it tested. Within minutes, the forensics team had it confiscated and sent back to the lab at the station.
She was sure that it would be the answer. Whatever was in that coffee, it had affected her, just as it had affected Apollo, and every other predator who had been attacking the city over the past week. It would solve the case, and help bring everything back to normal. She was positive of it.
But to her dismay, when she arrived at work the following morning, Bogo had called her into his office immediately. He shared the lab results with her, and she was shocked—horrified, even—to discover that they had come back negative. There was not a trace, not a hint of a trace, of anything in the coffee that wasn't supposed to be there.
And now he was yelling at her.
She blinked, suddenly realizing that Bogo had been talking for some time, and she hadn't been paying attention. At the moment, he was saying something about the petitions he had read online for her to be fired over her behavior the night before. "And the only reason I'm not listening to them is because you're the best cop I've ever had." He tapped a finger on his desk. "The only reason," he repeated.
Finally, Judy felt she had something to say. She straightened her back as best she could and looked Bogo in the eye. "Sir, there's no excuse for my actions. I feel terrible for what I've done. I lost my temper when I shouldn't have, and I caused a lot of needless harm."
Bogo snorted. "You've got that right." But he allowed her to continue.
"I want to make things right however I can. I want to make a public statement, I want to personally apologize to Apollo, and to…" She couldn't hold her gaze anymore. Her head sank as she finished, "And to Nick, too."
Bogo stared at her for a moment, clearly trying to think of how to respond. Finally, he settled on, "Well, that's a start at least." He sighed heavily. "Hopps, you've put me in a very difficult situation."
"I know," Judy said quietly.
"I have an appointment with the mayor's office this afternoon," Bogo continued. "I will be meeting with both him and the assistant mayor. I will explain last night's situation as best I can, and will assure both of them that what you did will never happen again." He glared at her. "I'll be sticking my neck out for you. Do you understand?"
Judy gave a small nod and once again hung her head. She could only imagine what Bogo would have to endure from the city leaders because of her. It's not fair that he has to carry my mistakes around with him. I'm the one who screwed up. I'm the one who's caused people to lose trust in the ZPD. I should be the one to talk to them about this…
That wasn't a bad idea. She set her jaw and committed herself to that very task. If I'm going to make the world a better place, that means I've got to start by doing whatever I can right now.
"Can I come with you, Chief?" she asked out loud. Bogo raised an eyebrow. "I'd like to tell them myself that it won't happen again, in person."
He considered it for a second, then nodded his head in agreement. "Okay. But first…" He took a moment to retrieve a piece of paper from one of his desk drawers, and handed it to Judy. "You have an appointment of your own."
Puzzled, Judy took the paper and read it. It was a doctor's notice, and even though she had a difficult time reading the handwriting, she could clearly see the watermark at the top. It was for Dr. Wood's clinic.
She blinked in confusion. "A psychiatrist, sir?" She looked back at Bogo. "Surely you don't think—"
"Not my call," Bogo quickly answered. His voice no longer held any rage, instead replaced by weariness, as if he was tired of having to send all of his best cops off to get mentally evaluated. "Assistant Mayor Rolfe demanded it. And, frankly…" He bit his lip. "I agree with him."
Judy could hardly believe her ears. "Excuse me?" She threw up her arms. "I'm not crazy!"
"Crazy, no," Bogo agreed, "but something happened to you last night, and I need to know what it was." He tapped the lab results, sitting on the edge of his desk. "And it wasn't the coffee, Hopps. It was something in your mind."
She refused to believe it—even when all the evidence pointed to that conclusion. "The lab must have missed something. I was fine before I drank the coffee, and—"
"And besides," Bogo continued, cutting her off once again. He held his head in a hoof, struggling to maintain his composure. "Hopps, you have a full memory of what you did. None of the predators do. They've forgotten." He lowered his hoof from his head and used it to point at her. "You haven't."
That definitely put a hole in the coffee theory. Bogo was right: she did remember everything. She remembered everything just as vividly as when it first happened. She was aware of her actions, and she was conscious of the decisions she made when she made those actions. She had been her own person, and no amount of excuses could change that.
But she refused to believe that she was capable of it. Apollo was still in the hospital, and Nick…
She swallowed. She dared not think about Nick. Not right now.
"You know me, Chief. You know that I'd never do anything like that." She had said it already—several times—but she felt the need to say it again. "Something was in that coffee. It must have drugged me, just like it did Apollo, and that's what caused me to lash out."
Bogo stared at her for what felt like an eternity. His face was sad—an expression Judy wasn't sure until now that he knew how to convey. He sagged a little in his chair, and his next words stung her more than anything else he had said so far. "Or perhaps that's what you're trying to convince yourself, rather than the possibility that you committed police brutality on purpose."
"A clean bill of health."
Judy should have been surprised to hear Dr. Wood's diagnosis, but she was still so overwhelmed by the events of the past twenty-four hours, she could only accept the news with little more than a forced smile.
He wasn't talking to her, anyway. He was on the phone with Chief Bogo. Their session together had lasted only half an hour, during which time he had asked her several light questions about the concert. To Judy's puzzlement, none of the questions had to do with her behavior; rather, Dr. Wood had focused more on her general thoughts and feelings about her everyday life. Was she getting enough sleep? Was she on any medication? Was there any source of stress outside of work?
After a while, it felt more like a Furbook survey instead of a doctor's appointment. But by the end of it, Dr. Wood seemed satisfied with her answers, and called up Bogo with the results.
Dr. Wood hanged up the phone. "Okay, we're done here." He stacked some papers on his desk and patted them into a neat pile. "You can go now."
Judy blinked. "That's it?" she asked in bewilderment. "You're gonna send me back to work, just like that?"
"I see no reason not to," Dr. Wood replied simply. "It's clear to me that you're in perfect mental health, and that your work at the ZPD will not be hindered by the events of last night."
The news should have come as a relief to Judy, but it sounded incorrect. Even if she could ignore her behavior toward Apollo, she couldn't forget what she had done to Nick. Coffee or not, she had hurt her best friend—and yet Dr. Wood seemed to find the whole manner trivial.
"So…" Judy scratched her head. "Then why did I go savage last night?"
"Savage?" Dr. Wood raised an eyebrow. He took a moment to straighten the papers on his desk, then lightly tapped them with his claw. "You didn't go savage, Officer Hopps. I've seen savage—as have you, I will add. When animals go savage, it completely blocks all conscious thought to their brains." He pushed his tiny glasses further up his nose. "It's similar to being blackout-drunk: You lose control of your actions, and you don't remember what happened when you finally wake up."
Judy placed a paw on her chest. "But I lost control," she began.
He cut her off. "No, no you did not." He stood up and walked over to his bookshelf. "Of course, I am a doctor of the mind, not the body, so it is not for me to say what really happened to you last night…" He fingered the books on one particular shelf, trying to find one specifically. "But if I had to guess, I'd say you were simply a victim."
Judy stared at him, struggling to understand what he might be suggesting. "A victim?"
Dr. Wood found the book. "This book is written by Leonid Steponov, one of my greatest inspirations in philosophy." He opened it up, nearly straight to the page he was looking for. "We always search for a reason for our actions, Judy. But the truth is, sometimes there is no reason." He began reading out loud. "'From a young age, we are taught to accept the authority of our parents, for this teaches us to respect the authority of others later in life. And their parents before them did the same—and so it has been since we first abandoned our primitive ways many years ago.'"
Judy still did not understand what he was trying to tell her. "Can't you just spell it out for me?" she asked, shifting in her seat. He began walking back to his desk, book still open in his paws. "What does respecting authority have to do with any of this?"
Dr. Wood set the book down on the desk, though he still stood, now beside Judy instead of opposite her. "Read the next part," he encouraged, pointing to the sentence.
Perplexed, Judy did so, picking up where the beaver had left off. "'But the truth is, while we have evolved, we are all still animals.'" She paused, remembering the time when Mr. Big had said the exact same thing to her. She continued, "'The savage instincts are still within us, and it is only our id that keeps it from coming to a head. We should expect it to happen under stressful situations, and we should readily pardon when it does.'"
Dr. Wood gently closed the book and nodded. "You were under stress last night, Officer Hopps. Stress is part of the life of a police officer, of course, but yours was a bit…" He chuckled softly. "Well, a bit extra, for lack of a better word." He picked the book back up and walked it back to its place on the shelf. "And considering the amount of stress you were under, I'd say you actually handled the situation rather reasonably."
Judy was still trying to make sense of the passage Dr. Wood had just made her read, but his words now caused her to forget about that. She shook her head. "No. There was nothing reasonable about what I did."
Dr. Wood shelved the book and turned around to face her. "As I said, I believe you were simply a victim. You not only had to worry about protecting Gazelle, but you also had to take down a predator who had gone savage in the place you least expected."
"But it was excessive force—"
"I say otherwise." He once again pressed his glasses against his nose. "And as the mental doctor for the ZPD, that is what the official word shall be." He smiled warmly. "You don't have to worry about your job, Judy. I have made sure it is secure."
It's not my job I'm thinking about. Judy wanted to reply out loud, but bit her tongue and kept it to herself. The thought about her losing her job over all of this had popped into her mind a few times, but she was ready to accept that as a possibility. After her very public, very blatant showing of excessive violence against an unarmed predator, she felt she deserved it if it happened.
But that wasn't her concern right now. Her mind kept replaying the events from the night before over and over again, like a bad tape stuck on a loop. It was still all too clear to her: Apollo preying on the tigers, her punching his face until her knuckles were bruised, the blood dripping down Nick's cheek after she lashed out at him…
And somehow none of that matters?
"With all due respect," she finally said, "I take full responsibility for my actions last night. I was not a victim, I was…" She struggled to think of the right word, before finally settling on, "I was the malefactor."
Dr. Wood raised his eyebrow slightly. "Well, regardless of what you say for yourself, my word is the only one the city council cares about." He flashed a brief smile. "And my word is that you are guiltless." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "I have an appointment off-site in half an hour." He raised an arm as he turned to leave. "It's been a real slice of heaven, Officer Hopps," he called over his shoulder.
Judy sat quietly as the beaver left. It seemed obvious to everyone in Zootopia that she was the one at fault, and yet he was seemingly convinced that she had done absolutely nothing wrong. It was difficult to understand that diagnosis, even without her having brought up what she did to Nick.
Nick…
"Dr. Wood!" she called, just in time to stop him from exiting through the door. "Nick's shock collar works now. It turned yellow last night." He turned back around to face her, eyebrow raised, but did not respond. "He is supposed to wear a dummy shock collar, otherwise he can't perform his duties."
Dr. Wood contemplated her words for a minute. "Interesting," she heard him murmur, and then he asked her in his regular voice, "What caused it to malfunction?"
She hesitated, unsure of how much she wanted to reveal to the beaver. Choosing her words carefully, she replied, "He was physically traumatized, and when he was, it turned from green to yellow." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't know what happened after that; Bogo sent me home."
"Fascinating." Dr. Wood remained standing in the doorway, using his foot to keep it open. "Either his collar is defective, or he was accidentally given a working one."
"Exactly," Judy concurred. "With a working shock collar, he won't be able to perform his duties, so if you don't mind, can you swap it out with a non-working one?"
Dr. Wood scratched his chin. "To be honest, Officer Hopps, I'm not sure that's such a good idea." When she gaped in response, he continued, "Based on my sessions with Nick, I believe a working shock collar would do him good." He chuckled quietly. "In fact, I was just about to recommend swapping his police collar with a working one. It seems you've saved me the trouble."
She felt her jaw drop at his words. "I…" She was angered by what he said, and hurt as well, but mostly she was shocked—shocked that a psychologist would say such a thing, or at least out loud, to one of his patients.
Dr. Wood quickly realized what he had just said and held up an arm. "Oh, pardon me. What I meant to say was, the events of last night have rendered my recommendation moot."
Judy had to fight off a growl that threatened to emerge from her throat. "You'd better pick your words more carefully in the future, then," she mumbled.
"Duly noted," he replied flatly. "But remember this, Officer Hopps: Assistant Mayor Rolfe is the only one who can authorize Nick's collar be taken off. Not me." He turned on his heel and walked out the door. "Not even for a collar swap."
The revelation hit Judy hard. Up until now, she had assumed that Nick's collar was only temporary, and that it would be easy enough to get him a proper one again that didn't hurt him. But now, all of a sudden, that seemed to be an idea out of reach—and any hope she had when this meeting began was now replaced with dread.
"So he's stuck with it?" she whispered helplessly.
Dr. Wood heard her. Right before the door closed behind him, he called back to her. "I'm afraid so. But not to worry, Officer Hopps. He's got you." And then the door shut.
Judy felt her ears fall flat against the back of her neck. He's got me… A lot of good I've turned out to be. Not only have I caused him physical harm, I can't even get his collar taken off.
Her mind drifted back to the dream she had—the one which ended with her realization that Nick's collar worked, and that it was hurting him. It was bad enough of a revelation in the dream, but this was no dream. This was real. Nick's collar worked now—whether by design or by some unlucky crossed wires. And every time his heart rate shot up, Judy knew he would have to deal with a jolt of electricity coursing through his veins.
But she knew something even worse: No matter how much the collar hurt him, she had hurt him even more. She hadn't spoken to him yet, nor had she even seen him at all today, but she knew: the moment she had caused him harm, she had given him irreparable damage.
Her. His best friend. His partner on the force. The one with whom he had just gone on a date a week ago. The one who had helped him rise above being anything more than a pawpsicle hustler.
The one who hurt him, right when he trusted me most…
The next thing Judy knew, she was standing on the front steps of City Hall. There was a podium, with Mayor Lionheart and Assistant Mayor Rolfe standing behind it. She stood to the side of it, along with Chief Bogo and a few other officers. They were there for a press conference, and even though she had not been told the full details, she had a good idea—and she dreaded it.
A lot more people showed up than she expected. On top of the usual press corps, members of the general public had gathered around on their own accord. Hundreds of mammals of all kinds crowded around, hoping to hear what was about to be said. Judy couldn't help but notice that the vast majority of the predators in the crowd were not wearing shock collars.
Lionheart was the first to speak. After spending several unnecessarily long minutes talking about the committees he was going to create in order to properly investigate the events of the night before, he invited Judy to step forward. She did so dutifully, though unenthusiastically. "Officer Hopps handled this terrible attack on Gazelle with finesse and grace," he proudly proclaimed—which made her want to roll her eyes. "Not only did she take down a menace to society, but she did it all without a thought to her own safety." He briefly turned his attention to Chief Bogo. "It is my wish that all of our police officers look to her example." Bogo silently crossed his arms and snorted.
Judy uncomfortably resumed her position as Lionheart continued his speech. It was mostly political propaganda, which she was never a fan of even in the best of times, but she loathed how he put her on the proverbial pedestal in front of the whole city. She was especially worried by the fact that he wasn't even trying to excuse her actions; if anything, he was commending her for them. And the more he talked, the more she sensed the crowd grow restless—though, thankfully, they remained calm and orderly.
At last, after far too long, Lionheart reached the end of his speech. "With all that being said, I would now like to turn the mic over to my wonderful assistant mayor, Fred Rolfe, who would like to make an announcement of his own."
On cue, Rolfe walked up to the podium, passing Lionheart on the way without so much as a handshake. Judy was used to seeing his serious expression by now, but what surprised her was seeing something else on his face: the wolf was grim, as if he now carried a heavy burden on his shoulders. When he spoke into the microphone, there was a weight to his words—a kind of realness that she rarely heard from politicians before. He spoke not as a leader of thousands, but as a bearer of bad news among friends.
"One of the first actions this city took when I became assistant mayor was to mandate all government employees wear shock collars." He lifted his chin slightly, exposing his own collar to the full view of the crowd, before continuing, "In fact, I volunteered to be the first predator to put one on, and it is because of this: I want to set an example to my fellow predators of Zootopia."
He motioned his arm toward Judy. "Mayor Lionheart has already commended Officer Hopps on her actions yesterday, so no more needs to be said about that. But…" He lowered his arm, instead using it to grip the podium dramatically. "It is unquestionable that if that tiger had been wearing a shock collar, her heroic actions would have been unnecessary." He took a moment to look over the crowd, eyeing individuals in the audience. "Therefore, with great reluctance, it is the decision of this office to mandate shock collars for all predators in Zootopia, effective immediately."
Upon hearing the announcement, the crowd suddenly cried out in protest. The reporters in front raised their microphones and asked for a comment. The bystanders raised their hands and yelled obscenities at Rolfe and Lionheart. Some abandoned their words altogether, instead electing to bark or yelp or whinny in their native animalistic noises.
"I know this is an unpopular mandate," Rolfe said, briefly quieting the noise from the crowd, "but I believe it is a necessary one. Until we can get to the bottom of why this is happening, it is for the good of all Zootopia for predators to be kept at bay." The crowd seemed to be on the verge of erupting in objection again, but he waved them down, still having one last thing to say. "But I want to make this clear to everyone: Once the cause of this great threat is fully known, we will drop this mandate." He stood a bit straighter. "And once we drop this mandate, we will round up every shock collar in this city and destroy them."
Judy had known this would happen; Bogo had briefed her on the announcement just before the press conference was called. That didn't make hearing it any easier, however. She scanned the crowd again, this time paying careful attention to the number of predators gathered. In Zootopia, there were ten prey animals for every one predator, but right now, there were about as many predators gathered as there were prey—most likely because they knew this would affect them the most. Even with this assurance from Rolfe that the measures were only temporary, they seemed agitated by the announcement.
All because of me…
Someone gently shoved her. Startled, she blinked and turned to her right, where Bogo was motioning to the podium impatiently. Apparently, Rolfe had just introduced her to the crowd. Suddenly embarrassed, she rushed to the podium, stood on the stool provided for her, and cleared her throat.
She had been thinking all day about what she was going to say, and had been struggling to think of the right words. Now that she looked upon the people gathered in front of her, however, she knew exactly what to say.
"I need to make one thing very clear: I do not fear predators." When the crowd started murmuring in confusion, she continued, "It is not predators that have been terrorizing our city. It is not predators that are attacking us. These are people—people who have names and jobs and families of their own."
She hoped her words didn't come across as cliché. Of course predators were the only ones who were going savage, but she had seen first-hand that they were not the ones responsible for their actions, and if she could use her position right now to lessen the prejudice against them, she would make the most of it.
"The ZPD has recently come across a strong lead in this case, and I believe once this case is solved, the attacks will come to an end." She looked into the cameras of the reporters, hoping that those who watched would connect with what she said. "And I promise, I will do everything in my power to end these attacks once and for all."
A sheep in the front, wearing a ZOO News badge, called out quick question. "So is that your excuse for last night?"
The question was asked so fast, the words barely reached Judy before the rest of the noise from the crowd drowned the sheep's voice. But she heard it—loud and clear, she heard it. She could feel her heart skip a beat upon hearing it. She should have expected it; after all, the events of the concert were all over the news by now. But still, she didn't have an answer prepared.
And as past experience had taught her, answering questions without preparing first at press conferences were not a good idea.
Still, she felt the need to say something in response, and in that instant, she knew exactly what she wanted to say. She cleared her throat, which silenced the crowd, and spoke into the microphone. "What I did last night…" She took a deep breath, summoned her courage, and finished, "It was not okay."
To the side, she could hear Lionheart choke at her words. He started walking to the podium, ready to pull her away for daring to contradict his praise towards her earlier, but Rolfe gently held him back with a paw on the shoulder. Bogo and the officers were momentarily stunned by her confession, but after the initial astonishment faded, she could feel their smiles radiate onto her.
The crowd, on the other hand, remained completely silent and still, waiting for her to continue. After taking another moment to gather her thoughts, she did. "We at the ZPD are trained to deescalate dangerous situations, and last night, I did not follow that training. I was excessive in my force against Apollo, I did not stop when I should have, and most importantly, I portrayed the ZPD in a negative light." She swallowed hard. "No amount of words can convey how much I regret what I did. I take full responsibility for my actions, and whatever the city decides to do with me, so be it."
Lionheart tugged himself away from Rolfe and hurriedly bumped Judy away from the microphones. "Thank you, Officer Hopps!" He smiled at the crowd, showing all his teeth in a vain attempt at looking sincere. "Now, with that out of the way, it's time for the main event."
A noise from the doors of City Hall caught Judy's attention. She whirled around to see a line of police officers emerge. She recognized from their uniforms that they were from Precinct 4, the Nocturnal District—which meant she didn't know any of them, but they were all predators, wearing shock collars, and carrying big brown boxes in their arms.
It wasn't hard to guess that the boxes were full of shock collars, and that the officers were going to start putting them on the predators in the crowd whether they wanted it or not.
"Zootopia is hereby under a shock collar mandate," Lionheart proclaimed. The crowd began to grow restless, with many of the predators backing away from the big brown boxes as they drew closer. "All predators are hereby required to wear shock collars until the office of the mayor determines otherwise." Murmurs began to rumble. "Any predator seen without a shock collar will be apprehended and jailed, and anyone caught helping predators remove their shock collars will be prosecuted." The murmuring grew louder, and some mammals began shouting in protest as the Precinct 4 officers reached them. "There will be no exemptions. Regardless of age, regardless of gender, regardless of species, and regardless of occupation, all predators in Zootopia are now—"
If he kept speaking after that, Judy couldn't hear him. Within seconds, the crowd lost all control. She stood petrified at the sea of creatures in front of her. They screamed and yelled, and when she held up her hands to try and calm them down, they jeered in defiance; some even chanted something at her which she didn't understand. She was vaguely aware of two Precinct 4 officers escorting Lionheart and Rolfe back into City Hall, but this seemed to only make the crowd even more furious. Without warning, a wave of animals leapt forward, and she had to step back in order to not be grabbed up by them.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. Startled, she whirled around, ready to defend herself.
It was Bogo. "Let's go," he ordered. He firmly grabbed her arm and pulled her into City Hall. "We're getting you out of here."
Judy was stunned at his words. "But sir, the crowd—"
"It's not a crowd, Hopps." Bogo glanced over his shoulder, his expression grim. "It's a mob." He doubled their pace, racing through the door and continuing into the main hallway. "It's a riot," he quietly corrected, the word barely leaving his lips louder than a whisper.
Judy wrestled her arm away from Bogo and turned to look out the massive windows. The officers outside were unable to hold back the crowd, who by now were in a rage. Predators and prey were beginning to get into fist fights with each other. Some mammals were picking up lawn chairs, backpacks, briefcases, laptop computers, fire extinguishers—anything that wasn't tied down. One or two managed to sneak past the officers and rush City Hall, and managed to damage a window before they were pulled back. In the distance, smoke began to rise into the air, which Judy realized with horror was the result of the mayor's limousine being set on fire.
"We can't just stand here and do nothing!" Judy tried taking a step back to the front door, but Bogo quickly stopped her again. "We're cops! Our job is to keep the peace!"
"I agree," Bogo insisted. He locked eyes with her and placed his hooves on her shoulders reassuringly. "And I'm going to go out there and do my best right now. But not you." Judy opened her mouth to protest, but he quickly continued, "You're no good out there, Hopps. You're just a little bunny. You don't stand a chance against any of them."
Judy wanted to argue, but quickly realized that Bogo was right. She was no good outside—not against a mob of hundreds of animals. It wouldn't take much for her to be overrun and seriously injured, or worse.
She reluctantly nodded. "I understand, sir," she agreed.
Bogo patted her shoulders and gave a stiff nod. "Good." He turned and began walking back to the front door. "Leave out the back. Go back to the station."
Every instinct in Judy's body made her wish she could follow Bogo back outside, but as much as it pained her, she knew he was right. She wouldn't be of any help in calming down the riot—but she could be useful in getting back to work on the case. Once the predator threat was over, the shock collars would go away, just as Rolfe had promised.
The sooner the better.
Bogo held his walkie-talkie to his mouth as he burst through the door. "Clawhauser, send crowd control to City Hall," she heard him order, and then a second later, he disappeared into the crowd. The door closed, silencing the outside noise.
Judy forced herself to tear her eyes away from the sight out the windows, turned on her heel, and ran through the building to the back entrance. She was suddenly filled with determination—a strong sense of wanting to get her job done as quickly as possible. The sooner she solved this case, the sooner the riots would stop. The sooner things could go back to normal. The sooner she could go back to Nick…
She felt herself slow down, from a walk to a stroll. Nick…
For the first time today, she allowed herself to think about him. She had been putting it off as long as possible; the pain of the night before was still too fresh for her.
But right now, she would give anything to see him again. She always felt comforted when he was near, and right now, she could use all the comfort she could get. The city was falling apart around her, and the only one she could turn to for help was him. She could almost see him in front of her now…
She blinked. Wait a minute… She blinked again.
It wasn't her imagination. Nick was in front of her. He was standing at the end of the hallway, and from the looks of it he had just walked in through the back door a few seconds prior.
Judy came to a stop. "Nick," she whispered.
The fox had seen her before she saw him. He stood still, calmly looking at her, his face lacking any expression whatsoever. He stood at ease, paws folded behind his back. His walkie-talkie was loosely attached to his belt, an indication that he had just recently got done talking with dispatch.
The silence with which he greeted her left Judy feeling cold. "Are you here for crowd control?" she asked. He did not respond; in fact, he did not give any kind of acknowledgment that he had heard her at all. She took a few more steps toward him. "The chief will need all the help he can get out there. It really is a mess. You won't believe it until you see…"
Her words left her. The closer she got to Nick, the clearer his face became. Her eyes became fixated on his left cheek. Her claw marks from the night before were still prominently showing—three pink streaks of wounded flesh, in stark contrast to his thick red fur.
She felt her heart skip several beats in her chest. Even though she had replayed her actions over and over in her mind, nothing compared to seeing Nick's wounds again firsthand.
It suddenly occurred to her that this was the first time the two of them had talked since the night before. And even worse, she had never apologized to him for what she did.
Now seemed like a good time. "I'm sorry, Nick." She forced herself to look him in the eye, as hard as it was. "I'm so, so sorry I hurt you last night. I don't know what came over me." She took another step forward. "There's no excusing what I've done, and I can only imagine what you're feeling right now." He was now just a few yards away. She started walking again, at a slow pace. "I don't know what else to say right now except, from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry."
Nick continued to eye her, but otherwise did not move. He made no indication that he intended to approach her, but to her relief, he did not look like he was ready to turn around and walk away either.
She kept walking toward him. "It feels like I've ruined Zootopia all over again, Nick. I have messed up." She was now mere feet away from him. "And I need to do whatever it takes to fix this. There's so much more I need to tell you, and I promise I will when I can. But right now I need to get back to the ZPD. The sooner I solve this case, the sooner everything will—"
"I know you have the key."
Judy froze. Her heart fill with dread. She stumbled over her words, trying to form a response. "Wh… When… Where…?"
Nick's expression didn't change. "Since Bogo gave it to you. I've known the whole time." He took a step towards her. His paws remained folded behind his back. His face was expressionless. His words left his lips with no more interest than if he had been commenting on the weather. "I know it's only for emergencies. And I know it's not meant for me…" He took another step, further closing the distance between them. "But I don't think you're all that heartless…" His eyebrow changed the faintest of positions. "Are you, Carrots?"
His words cut into Judy like daggers. She had tried to keep the key to Nick's shock collar hidden from him since the beginning, and she thought she had succeeded. Most days, she herself had forgotten she had it. But with this new information, she could only imagine what must have gone through Nick's mind for the past several days—knowing that she could have removed his shock collar at any time, and had chosen not to.
She couldn't find any words to say. What could she say? She was sure now that no matter how much she apologized, it would never sound sincere. And even worse, she couldn't take his collar off—even though it actually worked, and even though he knew she had the key. Bogo had given her strict orders, and even if he hadn't, someone had made a threat against Nick's life.
All she could do was stand in despair as Nick finished walking up to her. The two of them now stood directly in front of each other. He pointed to his collar, his face still expressionless. "Do you know how many times this has gone off today?"
She could feel her knees grow weak as she struggled to remain standing. The enormity of Nick's implication weighed heavily on her—the implication that the collar turning yellow last night was the first of many such instances.
She must have been silent for a long time, because before she could form an answer, Nick decided to continue. "Oh, you don't know? How about a guess, then?" He scratched the fur on his neck, near where the collar was. "Would you guess, maybe… five times?"
Judy felt her ears lie flat against her neck. Every word out of his mouth caused her more and more anguish. She could feel herself losing her composure; her breath quickened, her eyelids quivered, and her paws pressed against her chest in a vain attempt to calm her emotions.
"Or maybe ten times?" Nick snorted and shook his head. "Nope. Eighteen." He lowered his arm and stared at Judy, his eyes baring down on her. The calmness in his voice disappeared, replaced by a profound sadness. "Eighteen, Carrots."
Unable to stop herself, Judy let out a cry of surprise. "Oh, Nick…"
"I'm not allowed to feel anything." His motions were much more animated now; he flailed his arms all over the place and began to pace back and forth uncomfortably. "I can't think anything. Do you know what that's like?"
Judy could feel the tears falling down her cheeks now. Seeing Nick in such a state—knowing it was her fault… It was more than she could bear.
"I can't feel happiness—happiness!" The expression on his face slowly changed, first from flat to weary, and then to desperation. "I can't feel sad. I can't feel surprise. I can't feel afraid…"
A beep sounded between his words. Through her tears, Judy saw the light on Nick's shock collar switch from green to yellow. Her eyes widened. "Nick…"
He heard neither the beep, nor her. "I can't feel anger. I can't feel joy!"
Judy desperately reached her arms to him, trying to make him stop before it was too late. "Nick!" she screamed. She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "Nick, please!"
Finally, he heard her. He froze, and they locked eyes with each other. His eyes were wide, and his breathing shallow, and she could see the conflict in him as he struggled to decide what to do at this very moment.
"Carrots…" He shrugged her paws off of his shoulders, only to place his paws on her shoulders instead. "Judy…" His eyes never drifted away from hers—as if his very existence relied on keeping contact with her. "I can't feel anything. Happiness, or joy, or lo—"
All of a sudden, the collar's light turned red. In the same instant, Nick jerked away from her, shut his eyes tight, and let out a yelp of pain—the same yelp he had uttered the night before, when she had hurt him.
Judy screamed and instinctively stepped backwards. She instantly regretted it and quickly covered her mouth with both paws. She had seen the collar shock someone before—against Bruin, in the interrogation room—but this was different.
This was Nick.
Nick's face contorted in pain as he vainly scratched at his shock collar, desperately trying to sooth the part of his skin where the shock had been administered. After a few seconds, he forced himself to take a deep breath and stopped moving. Soon after, the collar's light went from red back to yellow, and a moment later, back to green.
Judy was filled with horror. She hated seeing Nick get hurt; every time he so much as winced, she could almost feel his pain in the pit of her own stomach. Right now, all she wanted to do was rush to Nick, hold him close, and help him feel better…
But that wouldn't fix anything. She knew Nick was right: the collar, little more than a heart rate monitor, would inevitably pick up on any time his pulse raised and deliver a shock accordingly. Anything from a simple jog at a crosswalk, to laughing too hard at a TV show—or even being startled. Any of it would be enough to trigger the collar.
The collar was no longer simply a brand on the fox. Now, it was also a ticking time bomb—just as it was for every other predator in Zootopia.
"This is terrible," was all she could say, so quietly she barely even heard herself.
"Then please," he begged, "take this off of me." He clutched at the collar with his paws, like it was a noose around his neck he was desperate to slip out of. His eyes pleaded with her in a far stronger way than his words ever could.
And she wanted to—more than anything else in the world, right now she wanted to help him. It would free him from this horrific burden. It would prove her regret for harming him the night before. It would show him how much she loved him…
But what about him…?
The threat against his life filled her mind. Zootopia was in chaos now. Whoever had made the threat on Nick would no doubt take advantage of that to kill him if his shock collar was removed. And if they didn't, one of the numerous panicked civilians surely would. A predator without a shock collar was a walking death sentence, and she was sure that if she took his collar off now, he would not live another day.
It was one of the hardest decisions she ever had to make, and she had to make it right now, with hardly any time to think about it. And she knew no matter which decision she made, Nick would get hurt.
Judy lowered her head, unable to meet his gaze. "Nick…" She closed her eyes, knowing what she had to say—and dreading it. "I can't."
Silence greeted her, and she raised her head again to look at the fox. On his face was an expression that tore her heart apart: hurt. But as she watched, his face slowly turned from hurt, to expressionless. "I see," he said flatly.
Judy eyed him, all of a sudden worried what he was up to. She had seen him do this before—bury all emotion, hide behind his mask, and become indifferent to everyone and everything. But he had never done it to her before.
Nick reached up to his chest and, before Judy realized what was happening, removed his police badge from his uniform. Without even looking at it, he tossed it to the ground by her feet. "Then this is where we say goodbye."
Horrified, Judy looked from him, to the badge on the ground, and back to him. "Nick…" She could hardly believe what was happening. It seemed impossible right now that her best friend was on the verge of leaving her…
But even behind the mask he now wore, she could see the hurt in his eyes. She had denied him a reprieve from his suffering, she had caused him physical harm—ever visible on his left cheek—and worst of all, she had just proven to him that he couldn't trust her. She was supposed to be his best friend, and this was how she treated him.
This was real. This was really happening.
Her cheeks quivered as she desperately tried to hold back tears. "Nick, you don't understand!" She couldn't tell him about the threat against him—she was certain that if Nick knew about it, they would kill him. But she still hoped he would hear her out.
In response, Nick pointed to his badge on the ground. Judy looked back down to it and found herself reading the words embedded on its surface. Bravery… Integrity…
Nick finished for her. "Trust." She looked back up to him. He was gently rubbing his cheek, wincing in pain as his fingers fell over the slices in his skin. "I've lost my trust, Carrots. I've lost my trust in Zootopia, in the ZPD…" He sadly lowered his arm, as if he needed all his strength to finish the sentence. "And in you."
His mind, his body, and his spirit were completely broken. He had no reason to stay with the ZPD. He had no reason to stay with her.
And that thought was more than Judy could bear. She dropped down to her knees and folded her paws in front of her. "I beg you, please forgive me!"
He hesitated for what felt like an eternity—though it was really just a few seconds. Then he took a step in her direction, and for a brief moment, she thought he was coming to give her a hug. But with his next step he brushed past her, as he made his way to the door. He didn't say a word as he walked past, but she thought she caught a glimpse of water forming in his eyes.
She reached out and grabbed his leg. "You don't need to do that!" she sobbed. "I didn't want to hurt you!" He gently tugged his leg away from her and continued walking. She didn't have the strength to get back on her feet and follow him. "Please don't leave me this way!" she begged, desperately hoping she could change his mind. "I need you more than ever!"
Nick paused at the door, though he refused to turn around and look at Judy again. He was silent for several long moments, the whole time Judy hoping he would change his mind and stay with her.
"Judy…" Then with a single sniffle, he was gone.
Judy stared after him, desperately hoping that he would return. But when he didn't, all she could do was weep. She buried her face in her paws, cried out a wail of despair, and let the tears flow freely from her eyes.
She didn't know how long she was there, nor did she care. She felt a massive pain in her heart—one she was sure would never go away. In the span of a single day, everything in her life had fallen apart. And now, on top of Zootopia falling once again into a state of chaos, her best friend in the world had just walked away from her with a broken heart.
And the most painful part of all, was knowing that it was all her fault.