"Ugh! Why've I gotta wear this fool thing?"
Nick stood calmly on the sidewalk, paws folded behind his back. He was wearing his usual Pawaiian shirt, purple tie, and khakis—as appealing as a predator could look in Zootopia right now. Despite his best efforts, he was unable to hide the shock collar on his neck, which stuck out like a sore thumb against the rest of his outfit. He had a forced smile on his face, but he knew that anyone could tell it was fake. He didn't care; he had no reason to hide his unhappiness.
He had been standing here all day, since the crack of dawn, hoping to sell passersby his newly-acquired merchandise. To his right was a moderately-sized kiosk, filled with umbrellas of various sizes. He had called a guy who owed him a favor, and now he was an umbrella salesmammal. It wasn't anything worth boasting about, but he figured it could keep his mind distracted from other, less pleasant thoughts. Business so far had been slow, but that was to be expected, as there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
To his left was Finnick. The smaller fox was clawing at his shock collar, which he had been forced to put on earlier that day by officers from Precinct 4. Ever since then, he had been trying desperately to pry it off, to no avail. Nick could only imagine what the mammals walking past thought of the sight of them right now—Nick standing cool and calm, and Finnick pacing and scratching at his neck like he had fleas.
"This is beyond stupid, Wilde!" Finnick yelled. He grabbed his shock collar with both paws and tried yanking it away from his neck. He failed. "Yeah, I'm a big threat to this stinking town! Me and my three whole pounds of raw power!"
Nick continued to quietly ignore him. Instead, he focused his attention on the sidewalk in front of him, plastering a half-smile on his face, and trying to tune out Finnick's whining.
"I've got rights," Finnick continued. He gritted his teeth as he pulled desperately at the collar. It flashed yellow and beeped in warning, but he ignored it and kept pulling. "I've done absolutely nothing to deserve this! When I get my paws on that assistant mayor I'm gonna murder him!"
Nick probably would have had similar thoughts if his mind wasn't so numbed from the pain of what she had done to him. The exchange was still fresh in his mind: the tears in her eyes, the horror on her face, the pleading in her voice… But it didn't matter. He had trusted her, and she had betrayed him. She clearly cared more about her job than about his happiness—his life. And if that was the case, then the shock collar he wore now was nothing compared to the pain he felt in his heart. He almost wished that it would activate again, right now, just to give him enough physical pain to distract him from his emotional pain…
Finnick growled beside him. "Give me a butane torch and a stick of gum, Wilde!" he demanded, though they both knew that wasn't going to happen. "I'll get myself out of this and then I'll stick one on Rolfe—see how he likes wearing one!"
That wouldn't do much good, of course, since Rolfe was already wearing a shock collar—though Nick suspected that his, like the ones the cops wore, was a dud. Or rather, the ones the cops should have been wearing. At this point, he could only guess whether officer collars really were supposed to not activate—in which case, his had been defective and worked properly even though it wasn't supposed to.
In any case, Finnick was restless. Nick knew he had to calm the small fox down—but he also was not in any hurry to do so. "Careful," he murmured nonchalantly, still keeping his gaze fixed on the sidewalk ahead of him. "You'll activate your shock collar if you keep that up."
Finnick ignored him. "You think I care? You think I can't stand whatever this thing does to—"
Zap. Finnick's collar was so small, Nick could hear the exact moment it sent an electrical shock into his neck. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the collar's light change from yellow to red.
Finnick jumped, at least a full foot off the ground. His limbs extended straight away from his body in all directions, and the sound that emerged from his throat was the most ungodly groan Nick had ever heard. Nick couldn't be sure, but he thought he might have seen Finnick's hairs stand up on end all around his body.
When he landed on the ground again, Finnick, rather than take the hint and start to calm down, seemed to actually be all the angrier for it. "Holy—" Zap. Before he could finish his sentence, the collar shocked him again, and again, he launched into the air, let out an involuntary moan, and landed back on his feet. "Son of a—"
Nick finally turned to face Finnick, out of sheer amusement at the sight. Repeatedly, Finnick cursed, then got zapped. Every time he got zapped, the same thing would happen: he would fly in the air, whimper, have his limbs stiffen up like rods, and then he would land back on the ground and do it all over again.
"Mother—" Zap. "God—" Zap. "Freaking—" Zap. "In the name of—" Zap.
Nick probably should have helped him out, but he knew that since Finnick was a smaller predator, the shock that the collar delivered wasn't enough to cause any permanent damage. Finnick would definitely be itching like crazy later, but right now he wasn't in any particular danger of being injured by his collar, and it seemed like a good idea to let him let off some steam.
Besides, it was funny.
After a few more zaps, Finnick finally stopped screaming. He took a single deep breath, rested his arms by his side, and closed his eyes—though Nick could still see the scowl on his face. A few seconds later, the shock collar flashed yellow, then finally green. Finnick opened his eyes and glared at Wilde. "What are you looking at?" he grumbled, defeated.
Nick flashed his signature half-lidded smile. "Do you feel better now, little guy?" he asked. He knew Finnick hated being called that, but considering the fox had just been shocked at least a dozen times, he also knew that he could get away with calling him that.
Finnick leered at him. "One of these days, Wilde." He raised his fist and held it between the two of them. "One of these days…"
It was an idle threat. Finnick and Nick were never close friends, but they had been business partners for a long time, and even though Nick had been on the police force for the last year, Finnick still held a certain amount of respect for him. Nick, for his part, held about the same amount of respect toward Finnick in return, which is why he had invited the smaller fox along today to sell umbrellas.
Speaking of, they wouldn't sell themselves. Nick refocused his attention to the sidewalk, patiently waiting for anyone who might walk past.
The scars on his cheek were barely visible now; he had done his best to comb his fur over them this morning in an effort to make himself look more presentable. His casual demeanor and smile welcomed all passersby to his small business, and anyone who would walk past Nick right now would think he was perfectly happy where he was right now.
They would be wrong. Nick's mind was still flooded with all kinds of thoughts—almost all of them about her. His heart weighed heavy inside his chest, making it difficult to breathe. The memories of what she had done to him were clear in his mind, no matter how much he tried to ignore them. When her claws slashed his face. When she refused to take off his shock collar. When she begged for his forgiveness…
It had all been just too much for him. That's why he left. He wanted to stay with the ZPD. He wanted to solve the case and see this through to the end. But he just couldn't. That would mean having to stay with her, and his heart hurt too much to think about that. He had loved her, and had allowed himself to be vulnerable with her, and she had crushed him. The person he cared most about in the world—the person he had even allowed himself to love—had torn his heart in two. And if his bunny had cared so little about him, why should he believe anyone else would, either?
My bunny…
Movement caught his eye. Someone down the street turned the corner and walked towards the umbrella stand. Nick stood tall, ready to greet them, but a few seconds later, as they approached, he realized who it was.
It was her.
For a brief moment, he was happy to see her. He felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. Perhaps she had come to apologize. Perhaps she had come to beg him to return to the ZPD. Perhaps she had even come to take off his shock collar…
The happiness left him instantly. Of course she wasn't here for any of that. She needed something—that was the only reason she had to see him now. She wasn't interested in making amends with him; she had made that clear enough already. She didn't want him—nobody wanted him.
She was walking up to him now. Her pace was slow. Her arms were wrapped around her stomach. Her ears drooped down the back of her neck. At one point, she glanced up to look at him, but as soon as their eyes met she immediately lowered her gaze again. She was embarrassed—or, worse, she was scared.
Either way, Nick wanted this to be over with as soon as possible. He raised his mental walls, ready to deflect any emotional attacks, and put on his mask. He was good at hiding behind his mask—the suave smile he wore on his face. Any onlooker would mistake it for confidence. Really, though, it was just a game.
Never let them see that they get to you.
He just had to hope that his collar wouldn't flash yellow. The last thing he wanted was for her to know how he really felt.
"Good day, officer," he flatly called. Judy slowly continued to close the distance between them, still unable to meet his gaze. That was probably for the best, though, since he wanted nothing more than to stare daggers into her right now. "Can I interest you in an umbrella?"
Judy heard him, but didn't immediately respond. She finished her walk, stopping just in front of the cart of umbrellas. "Hi, Nick," she quietly greeted, continuing to stare at the ground.
Finnick, standing on the other side of the cart, stared at the two of them with curiosity. It was clear that he wanted to witness the following exchange, but after a second, he seemed to think better of the idea. Instead, he snagged a few of the smaller umbrellas and, without a word, walked away to sell them further down the street.
Nick decided it was time to put on a show: a show that could demonstrate his current feelings in a way that Judy might understand. He grabbed a medium-sized umbrella, perfect for a mammal such as himself, and swiftly opened it up. "Never a bad time for an umbrella, officer." He could feel the smile plastered on his face fading, but forced it to stay put for a little while longer. "Even on a nice sunny day like today, umbrellas are always in demand."
Judy remained still. Her eyes vaguely followed the umbrella's shadow across the sidewalk, but otherwise she did not react to his words. Her arms slowly fell from her stomach, her paws eventually folding uncomfortably.
Nick held the umbrella over her head, shading her from the sunlight. "Oh, it just breaks my heart," he continued, gritting his teeth through the last few words. "Seeing a cute little bunny like you without an umbrella." Without missing a beat, he closed it back up, the edges of the brim grazing the hairs on Judy's head, and rested it against his shoulder. "Everyone should have an umbrella, officer."
"Excuse me, can I buy an umbrella?"
Nick blinked in surprise at the new voice. He turned his attention back to the sidewalk, where he found a porcupine standing there, waving shyly at him in anticipation. For a second, he was annoyed that his speech had been so rudely interrupted, but he quickly perked back up and addressed the porcupine. "Of course, my good sir. Five dollars, please." The porcupine paid, and Nick handed him the umbrella. Then he turned his attention back to Judy.
If she had been aware of the exchange, she wasn't showing it. Her head drooped closer and closer to the ground the more Nick talked, as if it was tormenting her simply to be in his presence. The longer she stood there, in silence, the harder it was for Nick to retain the mask.
He tried a different tactic; he wasn't exactly sure what point he was trying to make with the umbrella anyway. Finding whatever energy was left inside him, he grew his smile and clapped his paws together. "Oh, I know why you're here." He wagged a finger and winked at her. "No felony tax evasion this time, officer. Taxes will be paid appropriately next April."
Finally, a reaction. She opened her mouth and said something; Nick could barely make out, "…not here for that…" before whatever else she said got lost.
He was out of patience. In fact, he had completely lost interest in keeping up the charade. He was done trying to pretend things were okay, he was done hiding behind his mask, and more than everything else, he was done trying to spare her feelings—because she had hurt him too much already, and he was ready to let her know it.
His smile disappeared. He stood over her, folded his paws behind his back, and gritted his teeth. "Then why are you here, Carrots?" he growled. He saw her grip her paws tightly together, perhaps even trembling slightly. "You're not here to check up on me. You're not even here to apologize." Her ears twitched in surprise, and she raised her gaze off the ground for the first time, though barely managed to make it up to Nick's knees before stopping again. "Don't act so shocked, Carrots. I know you too well…" He deliberately paused, before dropping the heavy hitter. "Or at least I thought I did."
Judy finally managed to look him in the eye. He knew what to expect to see, but it still hurt when he saw her expression. She was scared. She was afraid of him. Even the simple twitching of her nose was enough to give it away, but her eyes, her ears, her mouth… Everything about her so blatantly let him know that she was afraid.
The pain in his heart stung at him once again. He suddenly wished he could go back to just remembering the moment when she slashed his face; the thought of it hurt less than being in her presence right now. His mind flashed with a thousand things he wanted to tell her right now—things that he wanted to say, that would hurt her just as much as she hurt him, so she could know what it was like when his heart was ripped in two. He wanted to call her every name he could think of, and yell and scream at her until his voice grew hoarse, and… And…
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
He couldn't do it. He couldn't hurt Judy, no matter what she had done to him. He had loved her too much to do that to her…
And a part of him still did.
He opened his eyes and looked at her wearily. "What do you want, Carrots?" he asked again, though this time he actually did want her to answer.
Judy still struggled to maintain his gaze, but managed to long enough to say it. The four words that Nick knew were coming. The only possible reason she could have come here. "I need your help."
Nick snorted at the thought. He turned around and made himself busy rearranging the umbrellas on the kiosk. "Nobody needs me," he quietly responded.
To his surprise, Judy quickly followed him and reached out her paw, though she stopped short of resting it on his arm. "That's not true!" she asserted. "I need you! I need you now more than ever!"
He snapped his attention back to her. "That's the second time you've said that." She recoiled at his gaze, and reflexively pulled her paw back. He knew it; she was scared of him. "But your actions speak louder than your words. And your actions over these past few days…" He let his voice trail off, before he turned back to the umbrellas.
Judy stood still, quiet for several long seconds. Nick even had to glance back at her once or twice to make sure she was still there, and she was, unmoving and clearly trying to choose her next words very carefully. Finally, she folded her paws in front of her again and stood at ease. "I've found a breakthrough in the case," she explained in a meek voice. "I need a predator to help me that I can trust."
Trust…
Nick stopped fiddling with the umbrellas and froze solid. That word, more than anything else that Judy could have said, stung him the most. He had trusted her, and what had that gotten him? A slashed cheek, a flashing noose on his neck, and a broken heart. How was he supposed to believe she trusted him, after she had done all of that to him?
"I need to get onto the top floor of the Trunk Hotel," Judy continued, though her voice was slower and quieter than it usually was when she talked about details of a case. "Tonight. It's my only chance, and…" She swallowed. "And I need you."
He slowly turned back to her and sighed. "Well, rats," he replied unenthusiastically.
"Hey!"
The voice came from the sidewalk. Without hesitation, Nick fished a small umbrella out of the pocket of his pants—one of the little umbrellas he usually saw with drinks at restaurants. He leaned down and presented it to the rat who had called at him. "Yes, ma'am, we have umbrellas for rats as well at this fine establishment!" He even managed to flash the rat a sly smile as he handed her the umbrella.
When he stood back up, he locked eyes with Judy again. Her expression had not changed in the slightest. She was still afraid. He was actually having a hard time believing it: Judy was standing here talking about how she trusted him, while so unashamedly letting him see the full extent of fear on her face.
"Trust, huh?" His smile disappeared again. He snorted. "That's a good one." He tried turning his attention back to his umbrella stand. "You don't trust me."
"Yes, I do."
The response was so sudden, it genuinely startled him. He whirled back to her, not caring to hide his surprise. He glared at her in disbelief. "Excuse me?"
She locked eyes with him, though once again, he could tell it was difficult for her to keep a straight face. Still, she puffed out her chest and set her jaw. "Yes, I do," she repeated. "I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't."
Nick jabbed a finger into her vest. "No," he shot back, "that's not why you're here. You're here because I'm the last option you have." It was a mean thing to do, but he didn't care. His emotions were too riled up, and at the moment, Judy was lucky he was controlling his temper this much.
Tears began to form in Judy's eyes, but even now, she refused to back down her gaze. Her lower lip began to quiver, and she quickly responded while she still had the ability. "Nick, there's something you don't understand—"
"No, you don't understand!" Nick was angry now, and he didn't care enough to hide it anymore. He took a step forward, forcing Judy to take an equal step back. "You've hurt me, Judy, and you know it. You can't just hurt someone one day and then go begging for their help the next!"
"Nick—"
He cut her off again. "You know what? Maybe you really do believe you trust me." He threw up his paws. "Fine, feed yourself whatever lies you want. But that can't fix the fact that I can't trust you anymore!"
"Nick, please—" Judy begged, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.
"My trust in you is shattered! And no amount of words will ever be able to fix that!" By now he was surprised that his collar hadn't flashed a yellow warning light yet, but he was sure it would soon—and he didn't care. "There is nothing you can say right now that can justify what you've—"
"Someone wants you dead!"
The yell from Judy shut Nick up immediately. Her sudden outburst was unexpected enough as it was, but what she just said—the revelation that she had just dropped on him like a bomb—caused him to stand there, mouth open, dumbfounded. He struggled for a second to find any words to say, but all he managed to croak out was a quiet, disbelieving, "What?"
"Someone cornered me in an alleyway," Judy continued. Tears started flowing down her cheeks, but she managed to keep talking, the words emerging from her mouth faster and faster. "They said if I kept trying to solve the case then they would kill you, and then I hurt you, and then the city fell into chaos, and then I worried that…" She finally couldn't control herself any longer. She let out a loud wail, the likes of which Nick had never seen before from her, and collapsed to her knees, too weak to keep standing.
Before he realized what he was doing, Nick knelt down next to her. Seeing Judy sob like this was just too much for him to ignore, and if he could do anything right now to help her, he would not hesitate. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug, pressing her head close to his chest. He placed one paw on her back, and the other he used to caress the back of her head. He used the rest of his body to shield the view of her from the world, giving her as much protection as he possibly could.
It was such a sudden thing for him to do that it probably should have surprised him. One moment, he had been angrier at her than he had ever been at anyone else in his life. And now, here he was, comforting and supporting her—willing to give her anything she needed in order to ease her pain and suffering. He just had to. He cared too much for her to let her suffer alone.
"I don't want to lose you!" She was still sobbing uncontrollably, though her voice was muffled as she yelled into his shirt. "The thought of losing you is just too much! I can't bear to…" The rest was lost in her wails.
Nick continued to gently rub the back of her head. All of his feelings of resentment and anger from a moment ago were completely gone, replaced only by his desire to protect and comfort Judy. He rested his snout on the top of her head, and gladly let her cry as hard and as long as she wanted into his chest.
It finally hit him what she was saying. Someone wanted him dead, and Judy had been doing everything she could in order to save his life. It all made sense now: her odd behavior before the concert, her refusal to take off his shock collar the day after, and even why she hadn't said any of this to him until now…
He had gotten her all wrong, and now he felt guilty for hating her at all.
He let out a sigh, and hugged her all the tighter. "You bunnies," he whispered. "Always so emotional."
He wasn't smiling. There was no joy in his quip. Things weren't magically better between them. She had hurt him, and he wasn't ready to forget about that so quickly. The scars on his cheek were a painful reminder of the pain she had caused him, whether she meant to or not. And even though she had been trying to protect him by not telling him about the threat…
"You should have told me," he whispered.
"I wanted to," Judy assured him, continuing to weep into his shirt. "More than anything, I wanted to tell you. But I couldn't. I was so scared." She gripped his shirt with her paws and pulled herself in as tightly as she could. "I'm still scared, Nick! I'm scared that they'll kill you now that I have told you!"
Nick gently rubbed the top of her head. "It's okay," he whispered. He hugged her all the tighter, quietly calming her down. Truth be told, he was scared, too. With a threat like that made against him, how could he not be? But his fear was trivial right now; what he cared about most was comforting the bunny in his arms.
After a minute or two, her cries quieted down, though she still clung to Nick's shirt like a teddy bear. She sniffled away a few more tears before she was finally able to start talking again. "I need to solve this case, Nick. I need to." She tore her face away from his chest, but was unable to meet his gaze, instead opting to hang her head and stare at the ground. "But I need your help. I…" She closed her eyes in shame. "I know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you."
They had had a similar conversation before, shortly after they had first met. When she had found him under a bridge, poured out one of the best apologies he had ever heard, and admitted that she was just a dumb bunny. This time, however, it was more subtle, and Nick realized now that his heart wasn't the only one torn in two by all of this. They were both hurting, and as long as this case remained unsolved, they would both continue to hurt.
Which meant there was only one way to make things right.
"Dumb bunny," he whispered. He gave her one more hug. "All right, I'll help you." Judy looked up at him, and a smile started to form on her face. "But just this once," he quickly added.
Judy blinked in surprise. Her eyes were red and puffy, and the fur on her cheeks was damp from her tears. But it was clear that her crying had come to an end, and she made an effort to sniffle back any more tears that threatened to form. "Just this once?" she repeated.
Nick kept one paw on the back of her head, and used the other to dry the fur on her cheeks. He was slow and deliberate, making sure to be as gentle as possible. "I'm going through a lot right now, Carrots," he explained as he worked. He tried maintaining eye contact as much as possible, however. "I'm not sure how much I trust you anymore. And it's going to take a lot for me to heal from the wounds that…"
He felt something. He rubbed Judy's cheek again, right where he had a second earlier. There was something on the skin underneath her fur…
Judy seemed suddenly embarrassed and pulled away quickly, finally letting go of Nick. She jumped back to her feet and took a step backwards. She sniffled one last time, wiped her nose on her sleeve, and nodded. "I understand," she replied, and Nick truly believed that she did. "I'm not able to ask for your forgiveness right now. I just…" She managed to look him in the eye again. "I just hope I can prove to you that I really do trust you. And that I want to do whatever it takes to make things right."
It was a lot to think about. Nick's emotions were all over the place right now. He still felt hurt by what Judy had done to him, but she clearly felt bad about it, and was doing everything she could to make things right. However, it still didn't explain a few things, like how she had managed to go savage in the first place—and he was sure it wasn't because of the coffee cup. And he wasn't sure how many more times he could survive having his heart broken by her hurting him like this…
This would be a pretty downer way to end things on, though. He stood back up, lightly brushed his pants, and met her gaze again. "Look," he offered, "if we both survive this, then maybe we'll see what the future holds for us. Okay?"
Judy's ears raised back above her head—a clear indication that she was excited by the idea. She remained cautious, however; it was unspoken, but still implied, that Nick wasn't making any promises on this. Still, he could see the hope return to her amethyst eyes, and she firmly nodded her head. "Okay."
Nick felt his lips twitch into a small grin. "Okay!" He started walking down the sidewalk, back in the direction that Judy had come from. "All right, let's get going."
Judy didn't follow him right away. Nick paused and turned around. She was gesturing to the umbrella stand. "But what about this?" she asked. "You can't just leave this here, can you?"
Nick smiled slyly. "Don't worry, Finnick will take care of it." The next instant, he swiftly reached to his left, grabbed the lid off a nearby trash bin, and looked inside. "Isn't that right, little guy?"
As he expected, Finnick was hiding inside. The smaller fox had jumped in as soon as he had left the two of them earlier. It was the perfect spot to eavesdrop on their conversation without being noticed—but Nick was too clever for that, and had known he was there the whole time, from the moment he had crawled inside.
For a brief second, Finnick was surprised to see that his hiding spot had been discovered, but it didn't take long for the surprise to be replaced by annoyance at Nick's straightforwardness. "You could have asked first," he grumbled, as he hopped out of the bin and back onto the sidewalk.
Nick placed the lid back on the bin and motioned for Judy to walk with him. As she joined him, her face scrunched in confusion as she tried to process what exactly she just saw. Nick quickly called to Finnick behind his shoulder, "Save the biggest umbrella you can find for me, will you? If you get it to my place by five, I'll even leave you a tip."
He turned his attention back to the sidewalk, but he could still hear Finnick yell at him loud and clear. "Oh yeah? I'll show you a tip, Wilde! The tip of my—" His voice was abruptly cut off as his shock collar activated. He chuckled when Judy, horrified, turned around and witnessed the same scene he had seen earlier that day. He, however, kept walking as if nothing was happening at all.
Judy hesitated for a moment, pondering whether to double back and help Finnick, or keep walking with Nick. She decided on the latter, mostly because Nick was keeping exceptionally calm even while his friend was yelling slurs and curses in-between shocks. "Shouldn't we…?" she started to ask.
"Don't worry about him, he'll be fine," Nick insisted. With that out of the way, he rubbed his paws together in anticipation. "So, Officer Hopps, what's the plan?"
Judy glanced behind her one last time to check on Finnick, before apparently deciding that the small fox would, indeed, be just fine. She matched Nick's stride and opened her mouth to reply, but for the next several seconds, no words came out. She closed her mouth again, thought for a moment, and then finally said, "Well…"
Nick slowed his pace slightly, as the realization hit him. He looked over to her in disbelief. "You don't have a plan?"
"I wasn't even expecting to get this far," Judy murmured. She probably didn't mean to say it out loud; as soon as she finished speaking, she gasped at herself and quickly covered her mouth with her paws. She glanced over at Nick, hoping he hadn't heard her.
He had. And while he found her current mannerisms adorable, he rolled his eyes at her response. "Oh you of little faith," he mumbled. Quickly deciding that he should take the initiative, he pulled out his phone and checked the time. "Looks like it's about three right now. What time do you need to be there tonight?"
"Nine," she answered. "So that gives us six hours to come up with a plan."
"Five," he quickly corrected. She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "What? You expect me to do this on an empty stomach?"
Judy let out a chuckle. The sound of it made Nick's heart leap into his throat. It was the first time in a long time that he had seen her happy, and after the emotional roller coaster the two of them had just endured a few minutes ago, it made him feel elated to witness her in such a cheery mood. In fact, he found himself smiling alongside her, sharing the first happy moment the two of them had had in several days.
"Okay, let's get some dinner," Judy agreed. There was a new spring in her step, and she slowly pulled ahead of Nick. "Nothing too heavy, though; we've got a lot of planning to do before tonight."
As Nick watched her, he felt the smile slowly fade from his face. The moment had passed. Despite the fact that their conversation had ended on a high note, he still felt pained by what she had done to him. Even though she had her reasons, and even though he truly believed now she hadn't meant to hurt him, he had been hurt nonetheless, and the wounds were cut deep—literally, on his face, and figuratively, in his heart. He wasn't sure if he could ever recover from that.
But…
Even so, he still felt something else—another feeling, that wasn't the hurt or the sadness that he was experiencing. Deep down, underneath everything else, he could feel the feelings he once held for her. The trust, the happiness, and the love—it was all still there, buried underneath the pain. And he didn't want to get rid of those feelings; if anything, he wanted to hold onto them for as long as he could, like a rope dragging him out of a well.
The memories of what the two of them had gone through, only up until these past few days, suddenly resurfaced in his mind, trumping all other thoughts. They had gone through so much, and despite countless times of uncertainty and angst, they had managed to make it through. They had cared for each other, and had been there for each other.
Despite what she had done—despite everything that she had put him through—he still felt, deep in his heart, that same thing he had been feeling for her since she had first walked into his life.
He still loved her.
Wilde, what have you gotten yourself into?