Warnings for the chapter: Panic attack, talks of guilt/negative self-talks, talks about complicated feelings/trauma bonds.

Chapter 13: End of an endless day

Everything was dark.

Everything was silent.

Everything hurt. Again.

That was all Hunter could feel. All there was. And in the distance, fading away, a voice... His voice!

"Don't... make me hurt you... any more, Hunter. Hand... over... the staff."
"I WILL FIND YOU! SOONER or later... I... will... find you...!"

No...

No!

"NO!" Hunter shot awake and immediately after, he felt himself caught, engulfed into someone's arms. "No, no! Let go! Let me go!" He thrashed against the hold, despite the pain it caused him.

He needed to get out of there! He needed to get away! He-He...

...

He fell limp against his captor, everything fading to black once again for a moment. And all he could do was breathe, hoping he could get his fleeting conciousness to return before they...

Gently lied him back down?

"Kid? ...an you hea- me?" Even though it was so close to him, their voice sounded miles away. Just as distant and blurry as the person themselves seemed in his eyes.

Until the blur started to clear up... unfortunately.

"Owl... Lady?" He croaked out, exhaustion momentarily overpowering his shock.

Why was she here? Where were the human and the Blight? Where was his-!

Again, he abruptly made to sit up, but then the Owl Lady came closer. Hands reaching out towards him, ready to hold him down again (!). "Wait, you just-"

"No! Don't!" Hunter pulled back, almost flinching away from the touch. That terrifyingly familiar touch...! "Where are the others?! My palisman!"

"Calm down. They're all okay. Look-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

...!

...

It took Hunter a second to remember to breathe, gathering his trembling hands close to his chest as if they had been burned. As if he was the one who just got...

He quickly forced his gaze to turn to the floor. Away from the Owl Lady and her shocked eyes that just wouldn't stop looking his way! Asking those familiar, silent whys and hows that he couldn't really answer...!

...!

...!

"I-I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm... I'm-"

"-nter? Hunter?" Hunter's messy whispers stopped at the sound of another voice. One that was coming from behind him, on the couch's arm.

And as he slowly turned around towards it, he was almost knocked back out from the relief.

His palisman was there! He was still there!

With his hands still trembling, the boy reached out, letting him settle in his palms, and brought him close to his face, their foreheads touching.

"It's okay now. It's over. You're safe." The little bird reassured him and he leaned a little further into the touch, taking in relieved, shaky breaths.

But then he heard footsteps. He pulled away, raising his head as the Owl Lady came close again.

His heart was pounding, ready to jump out of his chest, as the terror on his face started to return, along with the apologies he was ready to start spilling out again.

But then...

"Your... bandages were torn. I replaced most of them, but I'm not done with your leg yet, so... I promise it will only take a minute. Okay?"

He expected her to get mad, to lash out at him for daring to raise his hand against her. But she didn't. Instead she seemed... he really couldn't tell. There was an unreadable expression clouding her face, and her tone was the same. He didn't know what to make of this.

So, he simply nodded and let her bandage him up. Without exchanging another word or even a glance, until she was done.

"Woah, look at that. I didn't think I'd see anyone eat those things so fast."

Hunter froze at the sound of that voice, lifting his head from the food with a shocked expression, before swallowing hard.

There at the doorway, looking at him with a smile... was the Owl Lady!

Immediately, he set the fork and the knife down, his hands lowered like his head, clapsed together so they wouldn't tremble too much.

"I... I'm sorry." The words came out of his mouth mechanically, his voice just as small as he himself looked.

"Hey, it's okay. I was just impressed. And concerned that you'd choke yourself eating that fast." She said, walking inside, his heartbeat rising with her every step.

Until she stopped a little farther away from the couch. Still without a word. Standing above him. Staring him up and down with a heavy gaze...

Eda's smile had faded, replaced by a frown of concern, maybe even of guilt.

Perhaps she shouldn't have said anyhing. Perhaps she should've just let him be and gone back to her room...

This must had been the first time the kid seemed to actually eat, instead of just taking a few nibbles of whatever food they gave him. And now that she had come inside, it was like he just returned back at the beggining of his first day there. A boy so damaged, physically and emotionally, shaking on her couch, too overwhelmed to utter a word or even look at her. But regardless, she was there now. And while she remembered how trying to talk to him at this state ended...

"Hey. Really, it's okay. You can keep eating if-"

"Why are you here?" Hunter cut her off, his voice carefully hollow. Normally, he'd probably be angry, let himself unload all his frustration onto her, but he couldn't afford it. Not after what he did earlier...

"I just needed to grab something from the kitchen and I thought I should check on you. But I guess the girls beat me to it." Of course they did. Like Luz would leave a sad boy without pancakes.

Truth be told, those things did have their way of making people feel better...

"How... are they?" Wow, he talked. And he sounded like a person. A person with even the tiniest bit of concern.

"Well, they seemed better now, the bake-off helped with that. But that whole ordeal did do a number on them. On all three of you..." Eda saw him finally look her way, as she finished. But just as they made eye contact, he turned away again, his arms gathering around his stomach. Now things were getting tricky again... "What about you? Are you feeling any better?"

Of course she asked...

Like anyone in this freaking house would ever just leave him alone...!

Hunter's shoulders hunched up at this question, his eyes narrowing as frustration (nervousness) was bubbling up in his chest. He could feel a thousand words forming in his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything.

He could always lie and say he's fine, but he knew from the way he looked that the Owl Lady wouldn't buy it. He could say he would be fine and blame it all on everything that had happened today but...

...

"Uh... Can I... sit here?"

Another question...! One that sounded gentle, but still pretty concerned. And still so foreign in his ears. This would've been easier to answer if it was coming from the human or the Blight, but now... What was the right answer now?

Back at the castle, there wasn't such a thing as a right answer, because there was never even a question in the first place. At least not to him...

Wait. Why was he thinking of-

...

What did she...? "What are you doing?" He asked, looking in confusion at the Owl Lady, sitting on the floor.

"You didn't want me to come sit next to you, so I just sat here." She replied and Hunter's eyes widened for a second, before he quickly got his rising nervousness (panic) back under control.

"I, uh... didn't say anything..."

"Yeah, but you shook your head."

He did what?! When did- The thoughts of the castle, of-

"You're smiling... That's nice. I like to see you smile. You know, perhaps you losing your helmet was a good thing. I can see your face more often."

...!

...!

"Well? I asked you a question. Have you been studying wild magic behind my back?"

Stop it! Just stop! Stop it!

...!

...!

"Kid? Kid, just breathe." Eda said gently, without going anywhere beyond the tray between her and the kid. Her hands were raised, kept away from him, but ready to reach out if asked or needed to.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry..." He started murmuring again, his voice quiet but terrified, struggling to take a breath. His whole body was trembling, like it was seconds from falling apart, now that his hands were no longer around his stomach. Now they were hiding his face.

"Listen to me. It's okay. You have nothing to apologize for. You didn't do anything wrong. I know you don't want me to get too close. That's okay."

She held her breath when she finished, waiting for some sort of reaction. A sign that he could hear her, that this (she) was helping.

And while he slowly stopped apologizing, he still wouldn't lift his head from his hands, or stop this rapid, shaky breathing.

"Calm down, now, calm down. It's okay. You're safe. Just try to breathe with me, okay? Breathe in."

...

"Breathe out."

...

...

...

"Better?"

Hunter was so focused on his breathing (as he was told) that he almost didn't hear the question. And even when he took it in, he didn't really know. But he still, removed his hands from his face, settling them on his knees. He dared to look up at the Owl Lady again and... She was actually still keeping her distance, behind the tray with the food, looking at him with this tense look of concern he saw way too many times in a day.

And even though it came a bit later than it should've, he nodded at her slowly, before casting his gaze on the floor again. Until a few seconds later the plate from which he had been eating came in front of his face.

"You can keep eating if you want." She said and after handing it over. "I know today has been... a lot. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. Just say the word if you need anything. Goodnight."

"...Wait." ...Hunter didn't expect himself to actually say it out loud. But he did... And now she had stopped. Staring at him again, expecting him to speak. "Why are you doing this?" He saked, placing the plate back on the tray, but the only response he got was an expression of confusion. "You come to check up on me. You ask if I'm okay. Do all... that before, even when I..." Saying all this, made the frustration come back. He had to glance at his palisman to remember not to yell.

"What-?"

"Why aren't you mad at me? Why don't you hate me?"

Eda had a suspicion, but just now it got confirmed. "This is about what happened when you came to, isn't it?"

Again he nodded, his expression actually ashamed.

"Look, what happened then... it isn't on you in any way. You were freaking out and that was understandable given this whole incident. Luz and Amity told me what it was like for you too." She noticed him tense up at this, his eyes widening ever so slightly. "But not in too much detail, don't worry. The point is, I'm not mad at you, because there wasn't that much of a reason for me to be."

"...But... I hurt you-"

"You simply pushed me back. I wasn't hurt at all. No offense, but even if you wanted to, you wouldn't leave a scratch on me. At least in the state you are right now. And besides... I should've known better. I was going to give you your palisman, but I understand how it looked like to you. I'm sorry."

...!

Hunter stared at her, unable to believe what he just heard. He slightly shook his head, something inside him refusing to believe that this was real.

It wasn't real! It couldn't be! Belos would never-

...Not again...

"What's wrong? What are you thinking?" She asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. But she didn't get an answer. She wouldn't get to that... "...He never said you that? Right?" Apparently she didn't need it...

"Stop." He growled, unsure of who he was talking to. "It doesn't matter."

"Well, I think it does."

"I don't care!" He suddenly called out, all that anger finally breaking free. "It doesn't matter! I'm not with him anymore! I left him! I betrayed him! And I can't go back and expect to stay alive! I did hurt him and he won't forgive me, or even listen to me! I can't go back and I miss him!"

...!

That... He was not supposed to say that...!

The look on the Owl Lady's face... Frozen, shocked, locked into his own like a mirror looking back at him.

Wait- Did-?!

The cardinal was still asleep (by some miracle)... But unfortunately, that didn't make this feel any easier.

"Kid... He hurt you." She said, still with that gentle, concerned voice.

"You think I don't know that?! Believe me, I do! And not just me! He almost killed my palisman! Why else do you think I sent that blast?! I couldn't let him hurt him... And I don't regret it, but... but he was still my... my family. And I still miss him. And I can't have that, because... I'm betraying my palisman too. I can't... I can't hurt him like that. He doesn't deserve this." Little by little, his voice was getting quieter again, laced with pain. His hand almost reaching to pet the sleeping bird, before withdrawing it with a sigh. "There. Now you know. Happy?"

Eda just stared at him. Utterly lost. What could she say to that? What could she say to someone missing their family (no matter how awful they were...), feeling guilt over hurting them-

... "You know... Believe it or not, I understand." She walked by the window as she spoke, as the weight of a gaze was now resting onto her. "You do know of my curse, right? Well... When I was younger, I lost control one time and... my Dad was there..." She stopped for a moment, feeling the need to take a breath. And then another and another. To push down the bile in her throat. "Anyway, the healing coven helped, but... they couldn't help with everything. I haven't really spoken to him since that day."

"He... hates you?" The voice from the couch came out careful, scared. He probably expected Eda to be mad again.

She shook her head. "No, he doesn't. He... never did. So I do it for us both."

"But it wasn't your fault. You can't control yourself when the curse takes over. You didn't mean to do it."

"And you?" She turned back to him, the sudden change surprising him. "Did you mean to you blast him?"

"I... I don't know, I wasn't thinking. All I knew was that he was going to... I couldn't let him do that." Hunter managed to say, without really looking at her.

"And what do you think would have happened if you did?"

To that he couldn't answer. Not because he didn't know what to say, he just... couldn't say it out loud. It was already too pianful to even think about it. A life without his palisman. A life of days like today, without someone to talk to, tell him it will be okay, tell those voices to shut up...

"I hurt my family because of my curse. I should feel guilty. But you hurt yours, because he was hurting you and someone you care about. The one who should feel guilty in this situation, is Belos. Not you." She walked back towards the couch as she was speaking, casting her eyes first on him and then on the cardinal. "And while... it still is complicated to miss him, I don't think your palisman would see it as a betrayal."

"You can't know that." He said, looking sadly at him.

"Kid, this little guy came to you because he chose you. He's fought for you and you have for him. I don't know for how long you've had him, but your bond seems already pretty strong. Trust me, it's going to take a lot more than some complicated feelings to break it." Eda said, watching with a smile as the boy reached out and petted his palisman, who leaned into the touch.

But as she went for the door-

"Owl Lady." She turned back to see him turned towards her, actually looking her in the eyes. "Thank you. And... same goes for a curse."

Her eyes widened a bit, before managing another (weaker) smile. "...Goodnight, kid."

And then the door closed.

Hunter turned back to the half-eaten food and covered it with the lid, deciding to leave the rest for tommorow. He laid back down on the couch petting his palisman once again before his eyes closed and he finally, actually fell asleep.

Unaware of how the little bird opened his eyes and watched him with a soft expression. Before jumping up on the arm of the couch and nestling himself in Hunter's hair.

"Goodnight, Hunter."

The next morning was already difficult. But Hunter's mind was made up. He had to do this. Or at least try. It was now or never. He owed it to his pal-... Flapjack.

Standing and making the first steps was easy, but the stairs... That was tricky. Especially since he wanted to be quiet.

Thank Titan everyone was talking in the kitchen and they didn't hear when he almost tumbled down.

Now this was it. Moment of truth.

"King, easy with the sugar, buddy."
"Why? Isn't that why we made all this stuff?"
"Hey! Get off the table!"
"You sure you didn't drink my appleblood?"

...

Suddenly the voices stopped, as everyone turned at a strange sound from the hallway. And then stared in surprise as Hunter made his way into the kitchen, with a nervous, almost vulnerable look on his face and a proud, smiling bird on his shoulder.

"I... I'd like some more... pancakes. He wants one too."

At this moment, he had almost half a mind to turn around and leave, either for the room they gave him or the door, he wasn't sure. But then he saw those looks slowly turn to smiles.

"Well, what are you waiting for? A special invitation? Dig in, Blondie." The Owl Lady said, bringing out the chair next to her.

"So, you liked the pancakes, huh? Well, we have this master of a baker to thank for that." The human said, pointing at the Blight girl, who chuckled in response.

And soon the kitchen was once again filled with voices. Voices that teased and joked and laughed...

And it felt almost as good as the first bite of pancakes. Almost.

Wow, what's this? I'm sort of on an updating schedule? Am I dreaming? No I am not, but oh God, I can't believe it! Took me a while too! I just hope I can stick with it, honestly. And that you guys enjoyed it, of course (the ending especially, because it won't be like that forever)! So, I will probably see you again next month! Please leave a review and stay safe. Byeeee! :)