The Twelfth Doctor walked towards the console, feeling more than a chill pass through him as he pulled the dematerialisation lever that sent the TARDIS into the Time Vortex; as the familiar, comforting sounds of dematerialisation filled the air, the Doctor was suddenly overcome with pre-regeneration jitters.
He had gone without regeneration long enough.
The State of Grace bubble had popped.
It was time for him to regenerate, now.
The Doctor, despite the encounter with his first incarnation and the meeting with the echoes of Bill and Nardole, was still hesitant about regeneration; every single time he had regenerated he had gone from being one person to suddenly being someone totally different.
And he was tired of it.
He had his memories of Gallifrey and Clara back; he knew what had happened the last time he'd visited the Time Lords, and to be honest, he was becoming tired of constantly encountering them as corrupt officials who cloaked themselves in mysticism to make them high on themselves, but what he was tired of was constantly wandering from one conflict to the next.
Hadn't he done enough?
Hadn't he seen enough?
Hadn't he done his bit for a universe that just didn't care?
His predecessor had aged to death on a planet with a crack in time, through which Gallifrey was hiding, trying desperately to come back through…only if they did then they'd come across a whole new Time War. Looking back, the Doctor wished they had just given him a single regeneration so he could have a whole new lease of life without being pulled down by the guilt of destroying everyone, which was what had defined him for the last few regenerations.
But no.
He was regenerating again. All because he had made the mistake of trying to rehabilitate Missy.
Xxxxx
Deep within the Doctor's mind, something was stirring.
Something dark, something…dangerous.
There was evil in every one; there was a seed of darkness in everyone, and the Doctor was no different. The Doctor had experienced inner darkness many, many times before; it was due to the darkness in the various incarnations that some of their greatest blows against threats like the Daleks and the Cybermen were made possible.
In their sixth incarnation, the Doctor was made aware of the Valeyard, a distillation of their darker natures, somewhere between their penultimate and final incarnations. The spectre had haunted the Sixth and Seventh Doctors the most, although the shadow would perpetually linger in the backs of their minds. They wouldn't know what created the Valeyard, and as time passed it became clear the Valeyard was a possible future, but darkness still lingered within the Doctor, and while they were frightened of it, it wasn't out of fear like a comic book superhero suddenly discovering they were destined to become a monster. It was simpler than that, it was because they had left Gallifrey to just explore. They had never once thought or imagined they could become a monster, and every single time the Doctor regenerated, this darkness would become interested in breaking out.
Xxxxx
"Oh, there it is," the Doctor waved at the console scanner screen, after saying goodbye to his first incarnation, and the echoes of Bill and Nardole. "The silly old universe. The more I save it, the more it needs saving. It's a treadmill."
The TARDIS beeped and flashed, and burbled at him.
"Yes, yes," the Doctor rolled his eyes at the old girl's antics, "I know. They'll get it all wrong without me." The lighting dimmed and the Doctor gazed down, considering. Maybe a new perspective on life was needed, after all…
"I suppose one more lifetime wouldn't kill anyone," as if sensing his acceptance of the situation, the regeneration energy glowed in his hands again. "Well, except me," the Doctor whispered with a sigh before the Cloister Bell tolled.
"You wait a moment, Doctor. Let's get it right. I've got a few things to say to you. Basic stuff first. Never be cruel, never be cowardly, and never, ever eat pears!" The Doctor grinned, as he ran around the console room. "Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Oh, and you mustn't tell anyone your name. No one would understand it, anyway. Except, ah!" It all became too much for him, and he collapsed in agony. "Except children. Children can hear it sometimes. If their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too, children can hear your name." His hundredth wind failed and he collapsed again. "Argh! But nobody else."
Struggling to stand up again, the Doctor prepared himself; the regeneration was just there, round the corner. It was time to finish this.
"Nobody else, ever. Laugh hard, run fast, be kind. Doctor, I let you go."
With that, the Doctor regenerated; regeneration energy streamed out of him, causing terrible damage to the console room, causing the walls to explode, and the console to spark When it finally ended, the engines were stuttering, leaving the Doctor staggering around on new, unfamiliar legs, and unknown at the time, the signet ring fell off the Doctor's right hand. The Doctor moved onto one leg, looking around, breathing with new lungs, and felt that he was now smaller and that there were new body parts, with all of their clothes now rather baggy on this new body. The Doctor flew to the scanner and turned the scanner screen around until it showed her reflection. The reflection of the new, younger face with jaw-length blonde hair.
The Doctor gaped in disbelief, before walking away….unbelieving.
He…she was now a woman.
A bright grin lit up her face. How the hell could she have not regenerated, or wanted to regenerate when this could have been the ultimate result? Oh, she knew there were possibilities, different timelines branching off, as her encounter with her alternative third incarnation had proven during her de-regenerative crisis back in the Time War.
"Oh, brilliant!" She grinned.
The Doctor pressed a button, hoping to change the TARDIS's course and set the old girl to repair herself while she sorted herself out from the change, but the console room exploded. The Doctor caught sight of the screen, and her eyes widened in horror when she read; "Systems Crisis - MULTIPLE OPERATIONS FAILURES."
The TARDIS tipped itself as more and more explosions rocked the damaged time machine. The Cloister Bell continued to toll. The Doctor tried desperately to hang on to the console, but she lost her grip and slid towards the door, which swung open. The Doctor tried desperately to cling onto the grating, while the pages of the books her predecessor had loved to display and read, so much, flew out of the open doors. with papers flying out of it.
The Doctor was somehow able to marshal her regenerative-boosted strength and grab onto the console, but the Time Rotor cracked and exploded and the console, and she flew out with a scream before the TARDIS dematerialised, leaving her falling through the air…
Xxxxx
The dark side in the Doctor's mind didn't know whether to laugh or weep at how stupid they were; what did they expect was going to happen, when they made the stupid decision to not regenerate? They'd had this problem before, two regenerations ago. Surely they weren't arrogant and stupid enough to think it wouldn't happen again?
Well, okay, their tenth self was such a jerk, arrogantly strutting around, believing the universe owed them a favour, but that regeneration should have taught them a lesson. Right? No.
Looking into the future, and seeing various possibilities, the dark side could see this female her was just as pathetic as many of their incarnations. She ran around the universe, waving her stupid sonic screwdriver around instead of using her brains. She let Daleks go. She let monsters and deranged humans go without a backwards glance, and they ended up coming back.
Even worse, she saw a bearded, dark-skinned man, laughing in the background.
This could not stand.
The dark side didn't care about this incarnation, but it did see an opportunity. The only problem was it would create a new universe out of the old one.
But the dark side of the Doctor's mind could take advantage of this; reaching out to their regeneration energy, and the energy of a damaged TARDIS, they time-travelled back in time…..
Xxxxxx
The TARDIS had just materialised in a snowstorm when the Doctor, the Twelfth Doctor, staggered out and fell to his knees and started to regenerate, clenching his fists as they began glowing, and he ground his teeth in concentration and agony.
"No. No. No!" He screamed.
There! Just as he was about to plunge his hands plunges his hands into the snow and stop the regeneration, the dark side took over….
Streams of regeneration energy streamed out of the Doctor's hands. The last thing he felt was the fires of death, but all she felt were the warm, life-giving fires of rebirth, of renewal.
As new ideas blossomed in her head, she was aware of her body transforming, of her body becoming female through the life-giving agony. Now she wasn't fighting the transformation, the Doctor welcomed the pain. Finally, the light died away, and she fell forward, panting. The ice and snow on the ground kissed her cheek.
"I say, my dear, are you alright?"
"Hello?" She wasn't sure if she had just heard someone speaking, or if it was an illusion. "Is someone there?"
"Who is that?" The voice asked, before becoming urgent. "How are you regenerating? Are you a Time Lord?"
The Doctor sighed as she lifted herself, coughing a stream of regeneration energy that was spent out of her mouth, "I'm the Doctor," she replied, looking down at her chest for a moment, nodding when she saw, even through the baggier clothes, the breasts and the long hair. She cupped them gently, feeling a wave of pleasure flash through her.
"The Doctor," the unknown figure repeated. "Oh, I don't think so. No, dear me, no. You may be a doctor, but I am the Doctor. The original, you might say."
The Doctor slowly lifted her gaze, and her eyes popped open when she saw her first incarnation, complete with the hat and the long black cloak, smugly smiling down at her.
"You. How can it be you?"
"Do I know you, my dear?" The First Doctor asked suspiciously. "Have you come to take the Ship back?"
The Doctor grimaced. Why, of all the incarnations she had to meet, it had to be this one? What was the TARDIS playing at now? "No, I haven't. I'm you. I'm the Thirteenth Doctor, and you are the First." The Doctor held up her hand, which glowed with energy. "Snap. We're the same person, I'm just a lot older."
The First Doctor looked down at his glowing hand. "You are me? No. No."
"Yes, why are you in denial? We always knew there was a chance one of us would become a woman. Now, it's staring you in the face."
"Do I become you?"
"Look at me," the Doctor couldn't believe her original self, who had sharpened his intellect when he suffered physical ill-health could be so thick. "Do I look like I'm wearing your clothes? No. There are several bodies separating our two respective lives. A few false starts, but you get there in the end.
"But I thought-," the First Doctor paused.
The Doctor speared him with a glare, "What?"
"Well, I assumed I'd get er, younger when I regenerated the first time."
"You do," the Doctor glared.
Xxxxx
The Doctor smirked as she looked at the body of Tzim-Sha. She'd had fun planting the DNA bombs into him, only she'd reprogrammed them to blast his body with enough electrons and gamma radiation to tear his genetic code to shreds. She had to admit, after her regeneration and her brief madness with her first incarnation, this latest…adventure had come when her personality had settled.
The moment she'd arrived in Sheffield and discovered the Stenza warrior here, who was hunting down the perfect prey, the Doctor had wasted no time in going after him, but her post-regenerative state had meant she collapsed and behaved erratically. Good thing she'd found new human pets, although she quickly found a disdain for Ryan Sinclair. He was useless.
Yaz, on the other hand…
The Doctor had never been attracted to the same sex before, but now she wondered…
Xxxxxx
Asking Yaz to travel with her was a doozy. Something about the ruthless way she'd dealt with the Stenza had attracted her to the Doctor, right to the point where she suggested extremely dark.
Later, the Doctor and Yaz left Sheffield, and they travelled through time before they came across a project where the humans working in an institute were experimenting with new technologies. The Doctor was intrigued because the technology was beyond humanity at this point. But when she investigated, she and Yaz discovered humans were transforming themselves into EM signals, and when they discovered the Doctor, they made the mistake of threatening Yaz, but she transformed them into EM signals, and destroyed their technology. Yaz and the Doctor left them behind, to be EM signals, forever.
Xxxxx
She loved her already, and when that stupid filthy human bitch in that bar in Alabama told her to get out, the Doctor had whipped out her laser blaster (yep, she'd done away with those pathetic pacifistic beliefs carrying a gun instantly made her weaker than others) and slaughtered the entire bunch of them, but she'd left the silly bitch to last.
"Please," the woman pleaded as the Doctor slowly advanced on her, while Yaz looked on; in her peripheral vision, the Doctor noted Yaz licking her lips with arousal. "Please, don't! I won't say anything! I swear."
"Shut up! You humans are so pathetic. You base your perceptions on gender. On skin colour. Religion," the Doctor snapped before she chucked the blaster at Yaz, who caught it. "Wanna have a go, Yaz?"
Yaz licked her lips, gazing at the woman who had been cruel to her. She hesitated for a moment before she remembered every single time she'd been attacked, called a terrorist because of her religion.
"No," the woman whimpered before Yaz put a hole in her head. The Doctor took her in her arms and held her, muttering soft nothings in different languages. When Krasko was killed later when they confronted him, Yaz had snuck up behind him and swung a crowbar at his head, stunning him before she smashed it down on his skull.
The Doctor took his time weapon and sent him back into the past….
Xxxxx
Jack Robertson was even easier to deal with. The corrupt businessman had left so much incriminating evidence on his computer, being so arrogant to believe nobody would ever be suspicious of him, let alone hack his computer. But when she met him, instantly did not like him for the way he treated Yaz's mum (it surprised her she was so protective of Yaz besides being dismissive of so many others), and it extended to her family.
When she was finished, the Doctor and Yaz celebrated with her family.
Although Yaz's mum believed - rightly - she'd hacked his computer. But she didn't care; Robertson had treated her badly.
Xxxxxx
The Doctor and Yaz talked about the situation at Kerblam! "Do you think we should let Kerblam! go up in flames?" Yaz was asking after the Doctor had put them in a time bubble thanks to Krasko's vortex manipulator when Yaz wanted to speak to her.
"Why do you think that?" The Doctor asked.
"Oh, it's just the way they've acted here, and besides is it that bad?" Yaz asked. "Like, in my own time, we're turning to automation, to AI and many are worried. It's worse here. Besides, how far is it going to go?"
"You think we should go?" The Doctor knew her past selves would have stopped this by now.
"Yeah," Yaz nodded. "Okay, Kira didn't deserve to die, but she was killed by the system, right?"
"Yes, she was. She was killed by the system to show Charlie what would happen if he went through with his plans. What he would do to millions who popped the bubble wrap," the Doctor said without any feeling towards the girl who'd been nice and yet had died. In truth, with her new darker perceptions, the Doctor found her sympathies for Kerblam!….just didn't work.
She triggered the vortex manipulator, leaving behind Charlie, who looked on in shock before he triggered his plan.
Xxxxx
Yaz and the Doctor were wrapped up in each other's arms. "This….Master, what happened to him, do you think?" Yaz asked.
The Doctor scowled as she thought of the pathetic freak, as she'd referred to him when he'd threatened her, but she'd refused to bow and kneel. She'd told him he could kill everyone at the demonstration…but he couldn't, not unless he wanted to regenerate, and live out their lives. To the full. Every moment, every event.
"I don't care, Yaz. He'll likely leave the Kasaavin realm, he might have done it by now, but I badly injured him when I threw him off the Eiffel Tower; he's likely gone to ground by now," the Doctor whispered.
Yaz bit her lip. "I'm sorry about Gallifrey," she said. They'd both seen the wreck of Gallifrey.
The Doctor kissed her gently, tenderly. "It's okay, Yaz."
"No, it's not."
Xxxxxx
When the Doctor met her unknown, Ruth self, she threw the woman into a wall, overpowering her quickly before she quickly tore into her mind. Within seconds, she learnt of her past as the Timeless Child. And she vowed to murder Tecteun.
Xxxxxx
When Tecteun threatened Yaz during the Flux crisis, the Doctor shot her, over and over again. When the Flux was relegated to an alternative timeline, the Doctor kissed Yaz, before she'd pulled her to a bedroom.
Xxxxxx
In the prime universe, the Thirteenth Doctor turned to Yaz, questioningly. She saw the exotic dark complexion, and for an instant she wondered how it would feel to nibble on her ear lobe, and she was sure she had done it….