The ray-shaped ships hurtled through the water toward the OSMU submarine-van.

Osmerelda gasped. "Look at that symbol on the back!" She pointed to one of the ships. "Shmumbra! It's your old enemy Catfish!"

"Yes, I know!" Shmumbra, the heroic mermaid floating just outside the OSMU van, gestured. In response, a powerful wave slammed the ships, scattering them in all directions. "That should slow both he and his robot minions!"

"Both he?" Oswald made a face. "Is that even grammatically correct?"

The monitor in the van crackled to life. An image appeared on the screen, a strange figure wearing a pantomime cat's head and a dark purple uniform with a Nehru collar, his fingers tipped with long, steel claws.

"You have won only a brief respite, fish-woman!" the figure croaked, the hinged jaw of his mask moving stiffly up and down almost in time with his voice. "Already, my robot catspaws are regrouping! We shall catch you and your allies as a cat catches a goldfish! And my revenge shall be ferocious!"

"He's not joking!" Shmumbra's voice echoed through the van. "You'd best ready your defenses!"

"We don't HAVE any defenses!" Omar shouted. "This is an underwater van!"

Shmumbra considered. "The Shmumber Sanctum is nearby! I will send your van the coordinates telepathically!"

"I'M GETTING THEM!" Van Computer announced. "OOO! THAT TICKLES MY CIRCUITS!"

"Head for safety!" Shmumbra told the agents. "I shall hold off Catfish and his drones!"

"You battle in vain, mermaid!" Catfish snarled, his jaw still not quite matching his words. "You and your allies will fall!"

Omar double-taked. "What's with his mouth?"

"He's from the cartoon!" Oswald explained.

"Come on!" Osmerelda looked around the van. "We've got to find a way to help Shmumbra!"

#

Meanwhile in another dimension, Otis and Olympia exited the jump tubes and found themselves on the cluttered porch of a large, isolated farmhouse.

"Are you..." Otis stumbled forward a few steps and nearly tripped over a pile of parcels. He struggled to find room to stand. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Of course it's a good idea!" Olympia beamed. "We've got to get more information about what's going on in the Shmumberman universe! And what better way to do that than to talk with one of his best writers, the famous and acclaimed Wendy Breise!"

Otis sighed. You just want to meet her."

"Maybe a little," Olympia admitted. She squeed quietly to herself.

"There's a lot of mail just stacked up here," Otis observed, picking his way through boxes and packages. "Maybe she's away on vacation."

"No, we called ahead and... OMIGOSH!" Olympia started vibrating. "I just realized! This is the porch! This is THE! PORCH! This is The Famous Porch!"

"The famous porch?"

"Yeah!" Olympia looked around in wonderment. "Y'see, Wendy Breise gets mailed tons of stuff every day from fans and companies and all the people who love her. And the mail carriers drop it all off here on her famous porch!" She emitted another squee. "I can't believe I'm standing on Wendy Breise's famous porch!"

"I admit it strains credibility..." Otis ran a scanner over the various parcels. "None of the packages are booby-trapped. That's good."

"Why would the packages be booby-trapped?" Olympia asked in a very suspicious tone. "Are you implying someone somewhere doesn't love her?"

"I'm implying the villains don't seem to be after her," Otis explained. "That's a good thing, isn't it?"

Before Olympia could answer, the screen door opened and a man peered out. "Who's out here?" They could hear dogs barking in the background.

Olympia's eyes went wide. "You're her husband. You're HER HUSBAND! YOU'RE HER HUSBAND, YOU'RE HER HUSBAND, YOU'RE..."

The man stared at her blankly. "Oh God. Another one."

Otis stepped forward. "We're with Odd Squad. We called earlier."

Olympia coughed and quickly struggled to strike a casual pose. "Uh, yeah. What he said."

The man disappeared back inside. "Honey!" they heard him the other side of the door. "Did you call Odd Squad...?"

Presently, a pleasant-looking woman with flaming red hair and a casual outfit she'd clearly spent hours selecting appeared.

"Odd Squad! Hello!" She smiled warmly. "What brings you out this way?"

The husband quickly and quietly disappeared.

"Oh! The mail came!" Wendy selected a package and unwrapped it. It was a Shmumberman chess set. She set it aside for later. "People are just so nice," she enthused. "I get such great presents from all over the world. It's so sweet how they all adore me."

Olympia just couldn't control herself any longer. "OMIGOD! YOU'RE HER! YOU'RE HER! YOU'RE WENDY BREISE!"

"Yes," Wendy smiled. "I know. Isn't it exciting?"

"Oh, I loved your run on SHMUMBERMAN!" She reached behind her back and produced a graphic novel. "My favorite story was the one with Hittita, 'The Hexagon!' It was just so good!"

"I know," Wendy smiled. "Do you want me to autograph that?"

Olympia squeed again and handed it over.

"Do you need a pen?" Otis asked.

"Nah," Wendy produced a ballpoint hanging from a chain around her neck. "I got it."

Olympia admired the pen. "Clever!"

"I like to be prepared." She signed the book, then looked at Otis. "And how about you?"

"No, thanks." Otis shrugged. "I never really got into comics."

"He had a deprived childhood," Olympia explained.

Reddening, Otis quickly changed the subject. "We need to know more about the Shmumberman villains."

"Oh, the villains! Oh, yes," Wendy nodded. "I created quite a few Shmumberman villains, you know. Hittita of course... You know, that story's being taught in some colleges... Then there were The Goblin Boys... The Nightmare Rider... Simon Clawspell..."

"Um, we kinda need to find out about the older villains from the series..."

"Oh yes," Wendy nodded. "The old villains. I had plans for a lot of them. I had a lot of stories in mind but I left the book before I could get to them."

"I see," Otis made notes. "And how long were you on the book?"

"Six years."

"But you never got around to using them?"

"I was getting to it!" She insisted. "Anyway, I also created Karnen the Slayer... White Night... The Dread..."

"Yes, that's great, but we're looking for information on why the villains might be escaping into the real world and going after Odd Squad..."

"Well... They're villains," Wendy shrugged. "That's what villains do, really..." She considered. "Have any of mine turned up?"

"We... really haven't noticed any of them yet," Olympia answered diplomatically.

"I wonder why nobody's used my characters... They're good characters, I can't imagine why..."

"Maybe they haven't gotten to it yet," Otis was unable to keep the sarcasm completely out of his voice.

Fortunately, Wendy didn't seem to notice. "I created them to fill a void. Shmumberman has such an underused rogue's gallery..."

"So you decided the way to fix that was by creating MORE villains?"

"I figured if no one wanted to use the other villains, maybe they could use mine." She smiled. "I came up with such great villains... I can't imagine why no one's using them..."

Otis decided he'd better change the subject. "Can you tell us anything about the comic's history?"

"Oh yes," she smiled. "That's a wild ride. Cumberland Shmumber, he created the character and did the first few stories before Carlson Beck came in." She shook her head. "Poor old Cumberland. That cult really did a number on his head..."

"That... CULT?"

"You didn't know about that?" Wendy saw from their expressions they didn't. "Well, I guess I'm not surprised. They don't really like to talk about that. But back in the 1930's, the Shmumber family was heavily involved in a sort of utopian health commune. They believed an all-fruit diet would create a superior race and lead humanity into a Golden age." She smiled. "The cult eventually fell apart but Cumberland was raised on those ideas. They heavily influenced the earliest Shmumberman stories..."

"That might be a lead," Otis said to his partner. "Maybe we should talk to the Shmumbers."

Wendy's face fell. "Don't you want to talk any more about how great I am?"

"No time," Otis said firmly. "You've been very helpful, we really appreciate it, but we need to go."

He walked over behind a support pillar and vanished. Olympia edged away.

"I mean," Olympia told Wendy, "You really are great, I mean really, really great! I just love all your stories, I especially liked that one where Shmumberman was fighting the space pirates and he..."

Otis' arm emerged from the pillar and grabbed Olympia.

"Well, we'll let you get back to your day," she chirped as Otis dragged her backwards "Bye!"

She vanished behind the pillar too. Wendy Breise stood a moment, staring at where they'd disappeared.

Her husband emerged from the house. "They gone?"

She nodded. "I should go after them. They need someone to supervise..."

"They know what they're doing."

"But if I go after them, then the story can be about me and that will help. I'm sure people prefer stories about me. At least I do."

She ran toward the pillar and past it, almost falling off the porch. After catching herself just in time, she tried again from several different angles. None of them worked.

"They closed the portal," she said almost in disbelief.

"They probably don't want people falling through by accident," her husband reasoned.

"But... How could they not want me helping them?"

"They'll be fine," her husband assured her. "If they need any more help, they'll call."

"But... But... But..."

She stood there looking lost. Her husband put a hand on her shoulder. "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?"

"I am, George. I am."

She picked up a parcel at random and opened it.

"Ooo! Imported cookies!"

#

Otto and Olive appeared in Professor Straw's lab and hurried over to where the Professor was webbed to her chair.

"We'll have you free in a moment, Professor!" Otto assured the scientist, producing his scissorinator to cut through the sticky webs.

Olive, meanwhile, was trying to figure out where The Spider Witch was hiding. Creeping around the room, she kicked over a side-table. Nothing.

There was a strange clicking noise that seemed to be coming from nowhere. Olive glanced around nervously. Then she noticed Professor Straw looking up over her head.

Olive looked up. The Spider Witch scurried across the ceiling above them, the claws at the end of her spider-legs snapping. She looked WAY scarier in real life than she did in the comics. Her hair hung limply around her head.

She hissed and leapt at Olive.

"Oh... Crumpets..."

Dodging, Olive grabbed a chair and tossed it at the villain. She batted it aside with one long, hairy spider-leg, bobbing up and down. Her jaw worked furiously, spit and venom bubbling from her open mouth.

"Double crumpets..."

Olive backed away warily.

Otto, meanwhile, was cutting Professor Straw free as fast as he could. Once he got one of her arms loose, she reached up to pull the webs from her face.

"Olive!" Professor Straw shouted. "The beaker on my work-bench! It holds the antidote that will turn The Spider Witch back into my old college room-mate Doctor Melinda Hawkins!"

Olive spotted the beaker, a round glass ball holding a greenish concoction that bubbled and hissed for no discernible reason. She moved toward it as the Spider Witch scrambled toward her.

"I'm almost done, Olive!" Otto shouted. He continued to work frantically.

The Spider Witch extended one of her human arms. Webbing shot from her finger-tips, engulfing the scissorinator and Otto's hand.

"Hey!" Otto struggled to tear the webs off.

But Olive was able to take advantage of the distraction. Diving across the room, she grabbed the beaker and hurled it at the Spider Witch. It shattered on impact, antidote splattering all over the half-human creature.

"Olive!" Otto wrenched the blob of webbing off his arm. It stuck to his other hand until he used the scissorinator to scrape it off. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Olive said, hurrying over to her partner. Between the two of them, they managed to free Professor Straw.

The Spider Witch had collapsed on the floor. An eldritch glow emanated from her body as she twitched weakly, her spider-legs withering away.

"Look!" Olive pointed. "She's changing back to normal!"

"Oh yuck! She barfed!" Otto made a face and looked away. "She doesn't barf in the comics..."

"They don't show everything," Professor Straw told him. "At least, not back when The Comics Code Authority was a thing." She poured a glass of water and handed it to the now fully human Melinda Hawkins, who lay curled on the floor in the remnants of her dress.

"Thank you," gasped Melinda, taking the glass and gulping the water. "Oh, must I always be tormented by my monstrous alter ego? I curse the day I drank that ill-fated potion!"

"You meant well," Professor Straw assured her. "Your intent was to create a cure for adult acne..."

"But instead, I released the monster known as The Spider Witch upon the world! She ran her fingers through her hair. "If I had but known, I would have just stuck with the medicated pads..."

Olive and Otto joined the two women.

"Thanks for sending us the distress call, Professor!" Otto told the scientist. "We came as soon as we could!"

"But still too late, I fear!" Professor Straw sighed. "The villains found the dimensional transporter in my other lab. Now that they have it, I fear there's no way to thwart their plan to take over the universe!"

Otto blinked. "Wait. How do you know...?"

"No time," Olive stopped him. She knelt down next to Doctor Hawkins. "Ma'am, we know from past continuity your memories of being The Spider Witch are spotty. But can you tell us anything that might be of help to us?"

"Anything at all?" Otto added.

"It's... It's all so vague... Like a horrible, dimly remembered nightmare..." Doctor Hawkins grimaced. "But I think I remember their plan had something to do with Shmumbermaid!"

Olive's badge-phone rang. "Go for Olive!" Pause. "I'm afraid the villains got away with the dimensional transporter, Oscar! Until we can get it back, we're essentially stranded here!"

#

"That's really not what I was hoping to hear right now, Olive," Oscar said into his badge-phone as the enormous hand of the renegade Sasquatch Barrabas tightened its grip on his head. "No, I understand... Yeah. See you both when you get back..."

Barrabas roared, his breath rank and pungent.

"I hope..."

#

TO BE CONTINUED...