Audience of One

Chapter Nine

The sound of a cackling fire washed through Garnet's ears. She squeezed her tender face together for a moment and let out a long sigh as she turned her head against something soft. She blinked rapidly as her eyes opened to see a white and ivory quilt over her body. It had been awhile since her head had touched a Chocobo-feather pillow and she felt clean linen against her body. Garnet yawned widely and sat up on her elbow. She was in a neatly organized home with large windows showing the steady rain outside. A stone fireplace was warmly roaring and, above it, a cauldron was bubbling over the flames. Garnet glanced around the room. There were shelves of books, mainly of poetry and music. Garlic and dried herbs hung in a corner above barrels filled with milled grains. Across the room, in the corner, there was a shiny ornate harp. There were two archways on either side of the fireplace leading to the back of the house. Slowly, Garnet peeled the quilt back, noticing she had been redressed in a white nightgown with a silk robe. She pulled the nightgown back, seeing a large stitch running down her leg. Garnet's dark eyes lifted when she heard feet coming down the hallway. Emerging was not the woman from before. She was another slender Burmecian with dirty blond hair coiled into a mountain on top of her head. She was wearing the same comfortable nightgown with a trailing robe as she emerged with a bundle of linens. She was headed for the shelf containing the rest, but paused abruptly when she saw Garnet awake. She offered a smile.

"Good morning," she greeted. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better," Garnet nodded. "Thanks to you."

The woman smiled and opened a drawer to tuck the linens away. "I've been in your exact predicament before… Horribly injured, frightened, lost…" She paused and looked over her shoulder at Garnet, who still remained in bed. "It's what inspired me to study to be a nurse." She closed the drawer and crossed to the cauldron, giving it a whisk with a ladle. "You must be starving. Claire should be back from the market any moment now with some margarine and bread for breakfast."

"Claire?"

"Oh," she straightened up. "That's my sister. The one who brought you here. My name is Nina." She began spooning thick, enticing porridge into a clay bowl. "What's your name?" Her light eyes looked up fleetingly from her task.

"Dagger," Garnet replied slowly.

"Dagger, hm?" Nina arched her eyebrows as she set the steaming bowl onto the table. "A nickname, perhaps?"

"Someone very dear used to call me that," Garnet nodded. "It's just become more natural than my given name."

Nina smiled and gestured to the table. "Please, come eat. I hope you like cinnamon."

Garnet was slow to pull herself up on a stool around the circular wooden table. She tapped her spoon against the clay pot, memories of breakfast with Basil and Mathilda drifting by. But after a moment of hesitation, she couldn't help herself. She was indeed starving and shoveled a spoonful into her mouth, forgoing her manners. Nina set two other bowls on the table and disappeared around the corner. When she returned, she had a tray of steaming mugs. "Coffee?"

"Oh, yes, please," Garnet said, after swallowing another spoonful. Nina tenderly set it in front of her.

"Do you like cream or sugar with your coffee, Dagger?" She asked, as she continued to set the table. Nina paused for a moment, arranging a cloth napkin straight.

"No, black is perfect," Garnet shook her head, blowing the steam away from her mug. "Burmecian coffee doesn't need any help. It's one of my favorite brews, right after the grinds from Dali."

"You sound very well traveled," Nina commented, setting a glass ramekin of sugar cubes and a stout glass of cream in the center of the table. Again, she arranged them carefully, to be in perfect alignment with each other. "When Claire and I were younger, we always talked about all the places we would go when we were full-fledged women. But, as it goes, duty always calls. If only we were born a few years earlier to avoid the pause in life caused by the Mist Wars."

Garnet's mug hovered just below her lips. "Were you… here in Burmecia when the siege happened?"

Nina's smile never wavered as she shook her head and sat across from Garnet, delicately dropping a sugar cube into her mug. It dissolved quickly. "Claire and I were born and raised in Cleyra."

"Oh…" was all Garnet could manage to say, running her spoon across the thick surface of her porridge. "I'm very sorry…" She pursed her lips as she looked across the table at Nina, who still seemed content as she had her morning rejuvenating coffee. "Do you mind if I ask…"

"How we survived?" Nina finished for her. Garnet nodded somewhat rigidly. Nina sat up straight and let out a sigh that sounded more nostalgic than pained. She ran her spoon back and forth through her mug of her coffee with an absent mind as she revisited the past. "When you live inside a sandstorm, the outside world is nothing but mystery. As young girls, we always chatted about what was beyond it, despite the elders warning of all the chaos outside of our protective shield. An always whirling sandstorm, though, seems so much more chaotic than what you could possibly fathom a world creating. So, we continued to grow up and serve our little community on top of the tree. Claire and I eventually became Maidens."

"Maidens?" Garnet echoed, cradling her coffee close. "What kind of Maidens?"

"Me, I was designated as a Star Maiden, and Claire, a Moon Maiden. We became the new generation of ritual dancers who learned the strings and the steps to perform the ceremony of strengthening the sandstorm," Nina explained after sipping her coffee and licking her lips. "It was a sacred honor, yet… not at all a surprise to us and our friends who were selected. We were the only five young girls of the settlement. Me and three others learned the dance. Claire was given the highest esteem of learning the harp." Both of the women's eyes fell on the ornate instrument gleaming in the corner beneath a foggy window. "And that was our life for quite some time. We started as bumbling little adolescent girls, still growing into our bodies, and getting used to the costuming. But soon, it became part of every day for us as we were blessed beneath the eyes of the High Priest and devoted hours of our time to perfecting our moves. There couldn't be a single misstep." Nina paused, reaching for some creamer. Slowly, her coffee swirled into a light brown. Garnet ate some more porridge, finally assuaging her hunger pains. "And yet… for the life of us, we will never know what truly went wrong that day when Claire's strings snapped and the storm ceased to exist. Imagine our shock, seeing crystal blue skies and a wide sprawling landscape around us. We had, of course, always wanted to know what was beyond those flurrying grains of sand, but when it finally happened, all we felt was utter dread."

Garnet felt her fingers curling around her spoon. She had been induced into a coma during these events, but she knew her hand in the destruction, ultimately. It was her eidolon she carelessly let be taken from her. But in the end, it was her mother's greediness that overtook all forms of struggle. Garnet sighed, lowering her eyes. "I think I know this part of the tale. Alexandria, right?"

"Yes, Alexandria," Nina nodded from behind the steam of her mug. "General Beatrix came from no where and took the sacred stone that gave Claire's strings meaning. But I think the most magnificent thing of all, something that gave me hope, was seeing Lady Freya come to our aid. Despite the odd ends Cleyra and Burmecia felt for each other, Lady Freya was not one to turn her back on people in need. And she brought strangers at her side. They were strangers who cared, however, in a way it felt like no one ever had. Us Cleyran's had shut the world out, deeming them insensitive and not understanding. But the blond tailed boy, the young Black Mage, and the interesting fellow in pastel pinks and whites proved differently to us." Garnet was still now, only staring at Nina across the table. "The blond haired boy - I never caught his name - risked his life going down to the lower quadrants of our settlement and leading women and children to the safety of the temple. They all fought against General Beatrix valiantly. And even when she had struck them the ground, Lady Freya and her friends, crusted in dried blood, told us where to go. And moments later, we watched from the base of our majestic tree as the settlement was blasted to smithereens, never to be redeemed, as the core of the tree burned from the inside out." Nina delicately set her coffee mug on the saucer and placed her hands against the wood table. "So… how did we survive? By pure chance. By total strangers. Claire and I carry that with us wholly now. Just before we evacuated, Claire asked the blond boy why he was doing this. And he told her that he didn't need a reason to help people. We live by that now. And we hope he is well, just as we are."

Garnet had a barrage of words beating at her lips. As she looked at Nina, she saw a trusting, kind soul that had been through her own share of tragedy. But still, Garnet couldn't make herself speak. She simply spooned through her porridge and nodded her head. "I'm sorry you two had to bear all of that," she said, sincerely. "With all this suffering in the world… you'd think there'd be more answers. But there's not."

Nina grinned lightheartedly. "It's not what defines us, however. It's just a scar of many. They may be apart of you, but they aren't what make you. I see you're also no stranger to accumulating scars."

Garnet brought her hand up to skim the fleshy scar she had gotten from the waterfall. She was formulating a response when the front door opened, and the familiar woman from before, Claire, emerged. She shut her frilly umbrella, a wicker basket dangling from her elbow. Claire shut the rain out and turned, raking her ashen hair from her face. She paused when she saw Nina and Garnet at the breakfast table, but quickly, a grin followed. Claire approached the table, placing a fresh loaf of bread wrapped in linen between them, along with two glass ramekins of gleaming slabs of butter. Nina was fast to arrange it to be aesthetically pleasing while Claire shrugged from her white silken coat.

"And so she awakes!" Claire's voice was excited, discarding her coat on the table beside the front door. "How are you feeling?"

"After a good nap and a warm meal, better, as you said," Garnet nodded with her deepest respect. "Thanks to you both, I should be able to continue on today."

"And go where?" Claire seated herself, stirring her porridge up to raise steam out of it.

"I have a boat to catch," Garnet replied vaguely, watching as Nina delicately cut through the freshly baked bread. "But I thank you both from the bottom of my heart, for taking me in and nursing me back to health. I could never in a million years properly repay you."

"Well," Claire said as she spooned porridge into her mouth. "Someone once said to me that you don't need a reason to help someone."

"The blond boy, yes, she knows," Nina smiled, almost maternally, at Claire as she smeared butter across a piece of bread and held it across the table to Garnet.

Garnet lowered her eyes to her breakfast as she set the bread on the edge of her bowl. She mulled within herself as she now just uselessly pushed her porridge around. After a beat, she felt herself gnawing down on her lip and she looked up abruptly. "His name is Zidane."

"Pardon?" Nina only glanced up fleetingly as she continued to spread the margarine across another slab of bread.

"The blond boy, the one who said that to you," Garnet felt almost breathless now as she sat meekly in her stool. "His name is Zidane."

"You know him?" Claire leaned forward, arching her eyebrows. Garnet nodded rigidly. "What's he up to now?"

Garnet lowered her spoon, her eyes darting between both the women. She licked her lips. "I don't know… but that's what I'm trying to figure out."

"You're after him?" Nina asked, passing Claire her buttered bread. "Whatever for?"

"He saved me, too…" Garnet said slowly. "I just want to see him again."

Nina smiled as she drank her coffee, tenderly setting it back on the saucer. Behind the women, the fire cackled warmly. "Our heroes give us meaning in the aftermath. It's a beautiful thing, being saved. Those of us who are saved count twice the blessings in things."

Garnet's eyes were shimmering in the morning storm's light and she took a deep breath and nodded, gathering more porridge into her spoon. "I never looked at it that way… but you're right. And maybe I've just had the wrong frame of mind for so long." She ate a bit of her breakfast before she straightened up in her stool despite the aches that ran through her body. Garnet looked towards the window and furrowed her brow. "I've always thought 'why me?' over and over again.'Why is this happening to me?', 'Why can't things go my way?'… just why, why, why. But I suppose I never stopped to think about how I was in a better place when these things were happening because of the heroes who had graced me in the past. And maybe I've thrown some of those blessings away when I look at where I am now."

"And where are you now?" Claire asked from behind the steam of her coffee.

"I want to say… rock bottom…" Garnet didn't look to either of them. "But, honestly, I don't know how deep it is until the bottom or how close I actually am."

"I don't agree," Nina said simply. She stood and went for the coffee pot that sat on an iron grate beside the fire. She began refilling everyone's mugs, her silken robe following her gracefully. "I don't see a girl at the end of her rope nor backed into a corner. I see a girl who is hungry for answers. Who wants something else for herself. And there's nothing wrong with that, Dagger." Nina filled Garnet's mug to the brim, the surface wriggling in front of the young woman's dark eyes. "We have but one life. And we cannot spend it in servitude to things that do us no favors. You don't have to justify yourself. Or measure yourself up to some form of standard dangled in front of you. And you certainly don't have to carry the burden of perceiving yourself as a let down. What I see right now at my breakfast table is a girl who is after what she wants. You never threw the blessings away, Dagger. You're seeking to enrich them. Don't ever forget that." Garnet smiled weakly as Nina gave her shoulder a squeeze. She then brushed past and replaced the coffee pot by the fire. Nina put her hands on her hips and smiled over her shoulder. "Now… when was the last time you took a bath?"

…

"… chains and all. Eiko was right. She is most definitely seeing through Dagger's eyes," Freya was saying that afternoon in the deliberation room of the Alexandrian Castle. Gathered at the large, gleaming chestnut table was Beatrix, Steiner, Lady Hilda, Regent Cid, Eiko, and Liam. Everyone seemed rather stiff after Freya's recounting of what she saw on the outskirts of Burmecia. "Dagger was able to escape, miraculously. She used a fork to get out of the shackle, broke a window, and made a run for it. Edwin said she was catching a boat to Treno to play cards. But all of us already know that was a cover up. I don't know what boat she is after, but the docks don't start running until a quarter after four for overnight voyages, which I believe is what she's looking for."

Regent Cid's bushy eyebrows twitched and he slammed his white gloved fist to the table. "And why was this drug-loon not arrested, Lady Freya?!"

"He'll get his comeuppance," the Dragoon replied evenly. "He didn't even know who she was. It had nothing to do with the royal families. Dagger was wearing Dragoon clothing. Edwin perceived her as a threat."

"He is the threat!" Regent Cid's voice bellowed up the high rafters of the meeting room.

Beatrix pursed her lips tightly, quite fed up. She stood, her chair scraping backwards. "Raising your voice changes nothing, Regent Cid. Now be quiet." The regent was quick to shrink back in his chair. Beatrix sighed and raked her hair away from the frame of her face. "Why would Her Majesty be wearing Dragoon garb? Are we certain he provided an accurate description of her? He was, as you said, under the influence of Starspice."

"I have no doubt in my mind it was her," Freya nodded, tilting her olive hat up. "Eiko's description of the room and the chain match down to the letter, Beatrix. Dagger was being held hostage and Edwin was trying to be valiant." Freya also stood now, pressing her palms flat to the table and looking up and down at the audience. "Edwin isn't what is important anymore. We have two and a half hours to coordinate a plan that involves getting to Burmecia, to the docks, and talking Dagger out of wherever she thinks she may be going. She probably hasn't eaten or drank anything in days. At this point, she may think all the bridges are burned or she's too prideful to turn back, but I can guarantee she's not in the right head space any longer. She's had a hell of a week and a half, I can guarantee that. She needs to see a familiar face again to break up all this chaos."

"What do you think she's truly after?" Liam finally spoke up. He had been rather silent the past few days, naturally, as he continued to process all the events and spiral deeper inside his mind. Liam felt like he was being eaten alive. "She's abdicated the throne. I think she'd rather be anywhere but Alexandria."

"Did you block out what happened at Phoenix Cliff?!" Eiko asked rashly, resisting the urge to throw a tantrum. Her quality of sleep had greatly declined since her visions of Garnet began appearing. Right at the forefront of her mind, she could see Garnet's hand extending upwards to the dull ceiling of her imprisonment, floods of memories with Zidane filling her head. "She's after Zidane!"

"If that's truly the case, then why Burmecia?" Beatrix crossed her arms over her chest. "Boats don't run to the Outer Continent. Travel there is very much so discouraged."

"A private charter, perhaps?" Lady Hilda suggested, feeling quite meek and sick to her stomach.

"I doubt anyone with a sensible mind would take someone in her condition, not to mention, completely alone," Beatrix shook her head. "Freya, what other types of boats are at the docks?"

"The typical type," the Dragoon shrugged. She now began pacing, her olive vest swaying with her movements. "There's a boat to Treno. One to Lindblum. There are tourist boats, but during the muggy summer seasons it's primarily used for educational purposes for the children. It would lose money trying to charter tourists during this time of the year."

"This tourist boat… do you know what path it takes?"

"Vaguely," Freya looked over her shoulder at the General. The afternoon light fell across her chestnut brown hair and her cheeks were rosy with frustration. "It gets no where near close to the Outer Continent, if that's what you're wondering. I wouldn't even wager half way."

Beatrix sighed heavily and turned to the wall length windows that overlooked the eastern portion of Alexandria. Life continued on down below while it seemed that time stood still in the castle. All Beatrix wanted to do was resign to her private quarters and be with her son. She was missing crucial moments in his life, not to mention all the bonding experiences that were so important at his age. She wanted to build toppling block towers with him. She wanted to rock him gently until he drifted off into his own dreamworld. She wanted to sigh with content as she tried to feed him with majority ending up on his chipmunk cheeks and her shirt. But instead, all she could think were curses, her mind going in spiraling circles.

"So…" Beatrix finally said, slowly turning back to the silent people in the meeting room. "What's our plan?"

…

Garnet had been soaking in the warm tub for who knew how long. After she had scrubbed the grime from her body and lathered lavender scented creams through her hair, she couldn't help but just sink down to her chin in the glorious bath. Something about that bath water was magical. Her brain was able to shut off for a little while and keep the intruding thoughts away. Garnet truly did take for granted all the things she had had in her past life. But that's what she chose to call it. No more would she answer to Queen or Her Majesty. All she wanted to be was herself, a luxury she had never been afforded despite all the best of things in her life. Garnet didn't need people to change her bedsheets for her or dust her bookshelf. She didn't need an army of maids to bring her every meal and clean up after her. She wanted a more simple life and she knew the second she laid eyes on Zidane again, she will have found it. She chose not to think about Alexandria. She didn't imagine the cobblestoned paths or the vibrant rose bushes of the royal garden. Garnet decided to never imagine her old bedroom or private study ever again. The dark brooding portrait of her mother could not pierce her from where she was. The eyes couldn't follow her.

After a while, Garnet roused from the water and glanced across the room at the foggy clock. It waning into a later afternoon. She knew it was time to get on her way. Still a bit sore, she reached for a towel and wrapped it around her slender body, catching a glimpse of her new fresh stitches down her thigh. As she rustled another towel through her hair, she crossed to the stool where she had left her clothes, but paused when she realized different ones were there. Gone were the grimy Dragoon garbs, replaced now with fresh black pleated pants with white stitches and an ashen gray tunic with a burgundy ribbon at the collar. They were stylish and much more than Garnet deserved, she thought, as she reached down and ran her hand along the breezy cotton of the shirt. After she dressed, she frisked her fingers through her hair and emerged back into the common space. Nina was prepping a late lunch, rice already boiling in the cauldron over the fireplace. Claire was shining her harp and running wax along its strings. They both looked up when Garnet entered.

"Oh, much better," Nina grinned, as she continued chopping vegetables. "How do you feel?"

"Like an entirely new person," Garnet admitted with a sigh as she grabbed her rucksack from against her bed and set it on a stool. She took a mental note of what she had. A clay bowl, a spoon, a fork, and two blood soaked linen towels. "Thank you again. I do hope these clothes are ones you were willing to let go."

"Nina's got duplicates of practically every blouse she wears," Claire laughed from the corner of the room.

"I'm just glad it fits," Nina replied modestly. "Why are you digging in your rucksack? Lunch will be ready within an hour."

"I've burdened you enough," Garnet glanced up from where she buttoned the backpack shut. "I should really be going."

"Well," Nina looked at the clock above the fireplace mantle, all the while still chopping. "If you're looking to catch a boat, you'll have to wait until a bit after four. I know, inconvenient, but it's the season that causes that. Very few dare to live through the rampant humid summers of Burmecia. They'd rather travel directly to their location rather than take an ocean liner."

"Oh," was all Garnet could manage to respond, growing antsier with each passing minute.

"Here, could you finish this?" Nina asked, sliding the cutting board of an assortment of vegetables towards her. "It will pass the time more quickly. I'll prepare the fish while you do that. We can't send you off without another meal!"

Garnet again could only manage a weak smile as she sank down in the stool and began with her task. Her cuts certainly weren't as neat as Nina's precise hand. She could feel her stomach start to toss within her. She had seen Freya as she flitted off into the muggy, marshy terrain of Burmecia. Her friends were after her. She knew that. But she couldn't let them catch up. Garnet had a desperate urge to get away. She wouldn't allow herself to be talked into anything. All she wanted was Zidane and she would happily take bruise after bruise, cut after cut, until she managed to find him again. You don't have to justify yourself. Garnet only shook her head as she carefully sliced through the red pepper in front of her. If only Nina and Claire knew her friends and what they had been through. She couldn't face them right now. Deep inside of her, she did feel shame for what she did. But she kept that suppressed, so she could focus on herself.

"What boat are you after?" Claire suddenly asked as she reached for a fresh cloth to polish her harp. Through an archway, Nina was busy sharpening knives. "Treno? Lindblum? Maybe to the mountains by Dali?" Garnet was silent as she kept chopping, her mind an absolute blur. Claire straightened up, running her waxy hands along the rag. "Where would Zidane be after all this time?"

"None of those places," Garnet simply shook her head, rotating her cutting board for the green pepper. She paused and looked to the young woman across the room. "I'm sorry… I don't have a lot to say on the matter."

"Oh… I'm very sorry for prying," Claire pursed her lips before she continued on with her task.

Garnet sighed, doing her best to check her tone in that moment. "No, you weren't. I just don't know more than you do."

"Then… how do you know where to go? How do you know you're going the right direction at all?"

"I don't," Garnet stated simply. "I'm just following my heart."

Nina appeared in the room in the next beat carrying a cast iron pan with perfectly square fish fillets in it. The moist skin of the fish gleamed in the light as she slid the pan onto the grate above the fire. She then gave the wood a poke, sending embers upward. She grinned as she wiped her hands against her apron. "You know, I think I'm finally getting this recipe down to a letter." She reached for her glass of water on the mantle and glanced to Claire and Garnet. "When we first moved to Burmecia, I was shocked by how much fish was part of the cuisine. I mean, I suppose I shouldn't have been since the city is built right along the coastline. At first I hated it… but I think it's grown on me. I do hope you'll enjoy this dish, Dagger. It is called Dove's Bounty, though I'm not quite sure why… Super tasty, though! Then we'll walk you to the docks."

Garnet offered a sincere smile now as she finished dicing the last of the tomatoes.

7