Constantine The Laughing Magician Presents; Life in the Real World –
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Chapter 15: Everything's Better When You Have Your Mates!
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~ Zee is anything and every drop as dependable as Chas is; when you have your valued mates, nothing can go wrong – And if you think they'd ever have given up on my sorry arse for almost breaking magical law and making the front page of the Gotham Chronicle, then think again mate. I am going back to the House of Mystery soon, where a call away will send me into deep….deep…~
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Ah, bollocks.
"Batman,"
( The capes' leader)
"Immediately alerted the league that you were trying to stop the triads in…. John? Do you understand –
"Chas! Back me up here, ma –
"No!" Zee's bloody enraged by my intention to help out a fellow slayer. I roll my eyes at Chas. "Should I tell her more? See how it all plays out, then?"
"You, John Constantine, broke so many, magical laws all over the place and now WE have to focus on the point here. My father can only help you as Fate for so long…. but you have to make an effort to stay out of the press's eye."
"I was. I was helping a Filipino heroine." I can shrug it off all I wish. "My question is if Lae met his blade or was cursed by the Trese. I never saw, Deathstroke cheated me of my job."
"Good gods, Johnny…" Chas shook his head at me from a seat in the den, wait…. we have a den?
"Chas!" I snip him off. He's got some nerve. Weren't these two suppose to be my support division? And a blody "thanks" might be appropriate! I was fighting Nergal for damned well as you know it…. bollocks."
I sigh. This isn't how I want her to see me as.
"I saved the clan of Phys all I could. This damned gorilla with a mask cut me out of the bloody script."
"And I think that was unwise, but?"
" But?" Zee turns to Chas. She has him by his div'n arse. Damn her leadership abilities…. hem, sometimes!
"But…. Ole' Deathstroke cut Johnny loose, which means no publicity and we all keep our codes checked out." Chas nodded with a forced grin at me. That bleedin' muppet's got some damned nerve! Tellin' her she's right about every thing in this lifetime….where did I go wrong with this one? He was brought back from the dead and still I'm nobody's master here. Maybe, it's for the better.
"I was close to losing my head – cutting it this close. Right off my shoulders." I'm sighing to this debate.
"Can't you two tell the council of twads that we have it under control?"
"Tell that to the leader of the JLA." Zee's serious. I hate when she's serious like that. Makes me feellike a newt under her heels. Ready for the cauldron.
"Oh, Fine. Maybe I will then!"
"Fine." She snipped at me? Oh, now we have a debate!
"Fine, I'll go off to your "petty" Gotham an tell Bruce what I think of his remarks at me an' my work!"
I'm not insulted. It's just a way to get Zee to cool off while I tie up some loose ends with an old bloke, one who's bound to recognize my sorry mug in the Gotham Chronicle and on the open streets.
Sorry I made such a fuss, or I would be. I had almost forgotten what Gotham was like after dark.
And I didn't know if the old Bat had taken on another for his clan after my last visit to the city of this dark, "brooding" knight's.
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"Why is Grayson coming to stay here, Pennyworth?"
Damian was not old enough to know that Dick Grayson, his brother of a sort, was here to be sure that his father's new protégé kept out of the secured weapon's vault while Bruce was out socializing and stopping a few clowns tonight.
He should have been better to Alfred, or he could have been sweet as pie like everyone expected him to be. As the new Robin and son of Mr. Wayne by blood, he had all rites to the manor – so he could just tell Grayson to –
"Oh, that must be Master Dick and Mrs. Anders." Alfred must have hinted about the marriage with that twinkle in his old eyes. Starfire of Tamaran was to Dami, a siren. A simple slander on the house of Wayne. He was an Al – Ghul, but that was in the past. To the side for now.
It turned out that Dick's flight was delayed and he was staying a few nights with Kori going back to California the next morning. She was needed as the senior Titan's advisor in that city and Dick was still the cop from Bludhaven with a mask of his own.
What Damian loathed of the couple with his tongue poking out in disgust, he'd not yet met all of the Batman's foes and figures of lore.
Especially, one he had only seen briefly.
The door was opened and Titus perked up his ears from beside the young Wayne.
This was Dick in disguise, but a wallowing, bedraggled vagabonde with a trench and a five o'clock shadow who made Alfred's remaining hair atop his head, prickle with disappointment.
"Oh, hello. Fancy seeing you to drop on by. Have you got an appointment?"
"Such a kidder, this one is.." He was obliged to take note of the house being so pristine, but the car was amiss in the drive as Constantine opened his mouth before having a finger prodded his way by some lucky todd.
"What are you doing back in my city? We are waiting on an important guest at the moment." Damian crossed his arms and tried to imagine Alfred doing the same. For he wasn't really that crass.
"Your dad brought attention to my operation in the east, an' I need to talk to im." John said to be very clear. Even if that little pup was ready to growl and send their uninvited guest back out in the spring rain.
"He's out at the moment. And you should be –
"Oh, dear. Master Damian. This man is clearly in some need of Master Bruce's attention. I'l be sure to take a note while you wait and dry off. I can't contact him while he's at work."
"This…ohhh…" John snapped his fingers, making Dami even more cross with the adult's stupidity.
"I see, so who were you up all hours waitin' on? And is this the newest Wayne? Have we me –
"You are an abomination that my father –
"Master Damian! To your room and no more of those slanderous remarks, please. I'll be sure to let your father know of your behavior –
"He could be wired! He was with –
"And that is why we can't have a decent talk… Upstairs." Alfred pointed. "NOW."
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Dami had to stomp at me. Alfred told me the kid was royalty, once upon a world domination plot. Any- who, Grayson was supposed to come home for the week while Bruce was off on a JLA venture in the south of the county. Far away. Did the kid know it? Who knew? I was just here at the wrong time as I had to set down my things to dry, including my trench of wonders.
In those pockets was a pocket through space time where I kept my tools for the job. And a few spell books that no child could read without going blind, that is.
Damian was a trouble maker from the start. A riot, just like I was only better at not getting caught.
I spoke and sat with a cup of coffee to keep me going in the den, a den! They bloody do exist! And lo-
He gets into my things. My belongings are pilfered only at one.
That book no one should touch. I heard the ground crack as a vine slithered out to greet us. The butler finds sword on the wall and slices through it. Good thing this will not harm the home once I take the kid out and give him a good wallop for touching my belongings. Who else could it have been but that little demon child!
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Dami hated magic since it contradicted pure logic. He wanted nothing more than to test that it was all hocus pocus, so he decided to take and see if that fat book in John's coat was all the rage. At ten even, he had a reputation for ruining galas with comments so quick and derogatory towards any female that would approach his arm, to making the stocks at Wayne's company triple behind his father's back.
Well, he was going to run the company one day. It was his birth right. Grayson would be sorry if he ever saw a penny go to his lousy pockets as Dami felt his anger cloud him. The book liked it, and decided to keep the kid from going out tonight.
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The vines only grew higher, and taller as John used magic to seal them into a tapestry he'd used at a medium while the book was being used by another.
"We have to get to the lad's room!" John shouted to Alfred, who carved a way – until the city was next.
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"Oh, bollocks!"
Alfred turned on the news. Oh no, the vines did with one click. Sentient?? Already??
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~ All of uptown Gotham is under attack by massive vines; they are not confirmed to be Poison Ivy's work. Former Doctor Pamela Isley had been locked up by the Bat and is under heavy rehab since –
"Aw, come on!! IVEE !!!!!"
A shout that could rip through steel and concreate made the red headed ally glare back at her girlfriend from down the hall.
" WAH! That's not me!"
"You shittin me, Ive?? Someone is obviously trying to be a copy – cat in our city! You should let me take care of it, Ivy -cakes. Go take your –
"No. No bubble bath is going to fix this mess, Harles." Ivy icily stared at the mess made of their home. "We are going uptown. Get the car ready."
"Yes YES! Oh YEAH !" Harley Quinn bounced off of the sofa and danced around in only her sleep wear. "I'll get the really, really big bat for this job!!"
"Don't weigh down the vehicle! This is going to be over, real soon because I want to soak and drench my soul in ten mimosas before tonight is over!" Ivy called back down the hall, in only her towel as she grumbled and shut off the television with one click.
"Batman had better not see this…" She groaned to herself.
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It's happening!!! I made my cameo of the Harley – Quinn kind! YAY! The next chapter is themed and plant inspired "Little Pet Shop of Horrors – will do! Stay curious!