Chapter 62: Something Beautiful
It had been a quiet night, but the chaos of her nightmares had kept Yue awake. Her eyes were red and swollen, and the look on the isumataq's face was equally distraught, but the pair explained away their conditions, claiming anxiety and lack of sleep, even having a confused Yugoda testify to it nevertheless. The only thing that was currently holding Yue together was Sokka's warm hand around her, the occasional pecks to her temple as quiet means of comfort. She turned her attention back to her father, who was sorting out many of the gifts he and his wife had brought all the way from Ba Sing Se, which included an extensive newborn baby collection that they put together after hearing about the consummation. And needless to say that this collection was different from the one reserved for the twins arriving in a few months.
"And this one," Arnook placed on the bed a pair of silk jade-colored pants and an accompanying blue tunic bearing jade beads around the neck and sleeves, "Ahnah loves this one. It can be for a boy or a girl. Jade beads are considered auspicious in the Earth Kingdom, so both boys and girls wear them."
"There was only one in stock, and I was afraid we'd never see it again in stores, so I insisted we get a hold of it," Ahnah beamed. "Isn't it adorable?"
Yue nodded, attempting a smile before eyeing the noodles, sandwiched by a pair of chopsticks that was held up to her lips.
"Come on, paniga, we're almost done," Ahnah coaxed, beaming as she fed her daughter. Yue subtly bent away a tear and turned her attention back to the baby clothes.
"You like it, don't you?" Ahnah asked, earning a nod from her daughter, "I thought so! If necessary, we can always have the seamstresses make another. Who knows if you're set to have twins, too!"
"We're glad you're excited for future happenings, but let's think about the babies that are actually on the way first, ukuagek," Sokka said.
"Are we not allowed to fantasize, ningauk?" Ahnah chuckled, "I recall you and my daughter turning the tables on me at your wedding, and now Arnook and I are the ones expecting. Your parents are expecting, too. It seems everyone else is getting pregnant."
"Only because everyone else's parents approved of the union," Yue mentioned calmly.
Arnook reached forward, placing his hand on Sokka's shoulder, "I know we haven't told your folks yet, but it will work out."
"That's rather vague and idealistic."
And while normally the bitter remarks flew out of Sokka's mouth, Yue took the reins this time, and the prince felt a pained pang tugging at a sore spot within him.
"Well I have a strong feeling it will," the chief raised his eyebrows as he eyed his son-in-law. "I mean, look at my daughter. She hated the idea of marriage, and now, you two are inseparable. If she can change, your parents can."
Ahnah chuckled, nudging her daughter softly, holding up the last of the noodles, "One more, come on, paniga."
Yue couldn't say no, and Ahnah sighed in relief, "There we go." Turning to the servant who was lingering by the door, "Please get another bowl if you will."
"No, anaana, it's okay—"
"Hush, Yue. You haven't eaten last night, either. Now do us all a favor and finish this in the meantime," and she reached for the bowl of soup on the nearby table, checking to make sure it had cooled a little before handing it to her daughter.
"That's the soup?" Arnook frowned. "It's just liquid with spices."
"Your servants can learn a thing or two from your father," Ahnah noted.
"That's right! Tonight, I will personally make my version of five flavor soup with all different vegetables."
"You don't have to go through the trouble," Yue began.
"Nonsense. I'm not passing up the chance to cook for my daughter."
"Your father has become a great cook, paniga. For limited items, at least," Ahnah smirked.
"I admit I have trouble with a few other items, but the soup is your mother's favorite. I will make it for you tonight as well. Sokka, a few sources told me you started learning how to cook as well. Maybe you can show me what you know, and I will show you what I know."
"Yeah, that sounds neat," Sokka smiled.
"And I take it you're a very good cook, ningauk," Ahnah noted, pleased, "My daughter does not look frail anymore."
"He always makes time to sit me down and make me eat well," Yue said. "Even in the busiest of schedules."
"And that's how it should be. See, ningauk? The way to a woman's heart, too, is through her stomach." And keeping her hand over her ballooned belly, she gripped the armrest of her chair and tried to stand up.
"The servants can get what you want, ukuagek," Sokka quickly left the bed to help her up.
"The servants can't use the bathroom for me, can they?" she pat his shoulder with a smile, "Don't worry yourself, ningauk, I'll be back." Pointing to the bowl of soup in Yue's lap, "That better be empty by the time I get back, paniga."
When Ahnah was out of sight, Arnook's lighthearted smile transitioned into a worried frown as he eyed his daughter and son-in-law, "Is everything alright? What happened?" Squeezing Yue's hand, "Did anything upset you?"
"No, ataata, I'm okay."
"Then why the fever?"
"It's because we'd been traveling to different villages," she set her soup aside, "The stress of it all was overwhelming."
"Yeah," Sokka nodded, "We barely had a chance to breathe until a couple of days ago. Yugoda was very helpful, though."
"Sokka, too, has taken great care of me," Yue said. "I'm alright. I probably would've been much worse without him, honestly."
"Oh I know," Arnook said as Sokka took his place back beside the princess. The older man reached for their hands and placed them in each other's, "I just wanted to make sure everything's fine. No one's telling me anything."
"There's nothing to tell. Everything is fine…"
"But you look like you've been crying," Arnook pressed with a deeper frown and a more gentle tone, "Are you sure you're alright?"
Yue averted her gaze, "Why would I be crying? There's nothing to cry about."
Arnook looked at Sokka, "Don't hold back, son, tell me what's wrong."
Yue turned to Sokka for a silent request for help. Moments of jumbled thoughts later, he covered, "It's just…she's been paranoid ever since she was told her coronation will be sooner than later. She doesn't feel ready. She'd been freaking out ever since she heard you and ukuagek were on your way here. In fact, she'd been having nightmares all night about how dangerous it might be for you and…she really missed you two a lot."
The princess gave him a thankful look before being pulled into a hug by the chieftain.
"We missed you, too," Arnook told her. "More than you know. But the good news is that we don't have to go back! We're back for good. We're never leaving your side ever again. And I know it might not seem safe right now, but Akluviq and Kheera have cited their approval. The tribe looks much better now than it did when I was last here, and that's a fact. You have done beautifully, my daughter."
"You're the reason why I'm able to make it this far…" Yue said, unable to look him in the eye, "You've done so much for me…You've done things for me that put you in danger…I always knew that, but…" She bit her lip, repeatedly struggling to process the sheer amount of compassion it took for Arnook and Ahnah to shuffle through paralyzing tribal stereotypes. How loved she was if they had to pull every lever and trigger to keep her safe instead of giving up on her. The kind of injury Ahnah must've faced if she struggled to protect her as she did. The many years of Arnook's life wasted on heartbreak, intoxication, and utter fear for his wife's health, the burden of raising a child— not of his lineage, to begin with— so quietly in an environment so toxic that she would've been slaughtered by any extremist around the block. And yet, at a time when people who were directly responsible for her existence abandoned her for good… "Was I…was I really that important to you?"
Her heartbreak clawed at his heart as much as it did Arnook's. "What kind of question is that?! You're my flesh and blood!"
And Yue did not know how to react to his display of love and lies, the paralyzing fear that momentarily took over the older man.
"Do you know how many years your mother and I have been waiting for you?" Arnook held her hand in his, "Yue, you have no idea."
"I truly don't," she rasped, "I don't know how you had the patience…I wasn't very kind to you at times, but you've been so patient with me…"
"But I wasn't the best father. I didn't exactly deserve kind treatment after I disregarded what you said about those Earth Kingdom imposters…" A sullen look crossed his features, "I was angry that you kept wanting to stay when it's dangerous. I thought you'd have a happy life elsewhere. But now I know how much you love this place. You've made it your own, and you've made it truly beautiful. And you'll make it even more beautiful. If I'd known what you're capable of, I wouldn't have itched to send you away." Brushing at his eyes, "Yue, your mother and I… we've been waiting for this moment our whole lives. Don't think of ways to send us back. I know you're scared, but whatever happens, we're sticking together."
"But if anything was to happen to you because of me, I—"
"I'm not the defenseless drunkard you've seen before," he told her. "I, too, can hold my own."
And indeed, the chieftain was looking much better, much more brave and confident than before.
"You say I'm the reason why you made it this far," he told his daughter, "But you are the reason why I'm even alive. You put on so many disguises, and you've healed me many times. And it wasn't until the day you started calling me ataata that I really told myself I will change. And I have to say that the isumataq really helped me change and put things into perspective for me." Planting a kiss on her forehead, "Don't dwell on the past, paniga. You're my daughter. My pride. I have every right to worry about you, and you have every right to bicker and argue with me about anything and everything. Just promise me you will be happy. That you won't leave me and your mother behind anymore. Even for our safety."
She nodded but lost composure with the escape of a sob. Sokka rubbed her back, whispering, "It's okay, it's okay…"
"Paniga," Arnook looked at her in great alarm, "Are you sure everything's okay—?"
"What happened here?" Ahnah approached as fast as she could in her condition, "What's wrong? Yue, what happened?"
"She missed us is all," Arnook said quickly, and upon seeing her mother, a fresh stream of tears slipped down the princess's face.
"My baby, my baby, it's okay," Ahnah sat beside her and drew her daughter into her arms, softly brushing the gentle white expanse of the princess's hair, kissing the top of her head. "We're not leaving you ever."
Arnook, in spite of his initial suspicions, let the moment unfold; having indulged in paranoia for over two decades, he was aware of the need to vent. He turned to Sokka to again pry him for more information only to see that the young warrior was brushing back his own tears.
"What's going on with you?" the chief asked, his worry returning, "Seriously, what is happening?"
"Nothing," he sniffed, his gaze cast on the princess, "I just don't like seeing her like this."
"Oh dear," the chieftain sighed, bringing the prince in for a hug. "It's okay, let her vent. She needs to let it out."
The White Lotus sentries, who had flocked to see the princess of the North, were surprised when she herself told them not to worry about informing her about the history of the beads. Sokka's somber look, however, did raise suspicions, especially for Aang. The young monk didn't fail to see Sokka's persisting arm around Yue's shoulders and the prince's small pats and rubs on her back.
"We thought you wanted to be kept in the loop, Princess," Gyatso said.
"I did want that at first, but I'm no longer interested," Yue said, not meeting their eyes.
"Oh…Are you sure, Princess?" Jeong Jeong frowned.
"Yes. You see, my coronation date has been set for next week on the day before the solstice. The whole process has been expedited three months earlier than intended, and…it really put things into perspective for me. I realize I have too many responsibilities, and there is still so much I never had the chance to do… I have neither time nor reason to waste even a fraction of a brain cell on whoever the owner of the beads is. It would be a needless distraction."
And again, Aang noted Sokka's burst of care manifesting as a gentle back rub, a subconscious shift closer to her. The Avatar frowned, casting a look of both question and worry at Sokka. Do you think she knows…?
And Sokka merely swallowed and gave a subtle nod. Aang widened his eyes, turning to Yue in concern. The princess remained quiet, her gaze fixated on the floor.
"We perfectly understand, Princess," Piandao said, granting her a reassuring smile despite his own disbelief of her lack of sudden interest, "And I understand it may seem overwhelming right now as you look forward, but once the coronation is over with, everyone will be at peace."
"Thank you for understanding."
Aang gulped, sharing a look with Sokka, who added, "And one more thing. Please don't tell the chief and chieftess about what happened with the imposter and his attempts. We don't want to see them paranoid. They're really looking forward to this event, and the last thing we want to do is see terror on their faces."
"Don't worry, Prince Sokka, we won't say anything," Gyatso assured. "They have been worried for long enough."
Yue managed a smile, "I thank you all for your cooperation. It truly is great to see you all here. Do you intend to stay for a while? I can arrange for a larger estate—"
"That's not necessary, Princess. We need to leave early next week and wrap some things up," Jeong Jeong said, "But we'll be back the night before the coronation. When will the ceremony be, morning or evening?"
"Traditionally, there are different times for Water Tribe enthronements," Sokka said. "There's the morning coronation. It'll start in the morning, and all duties will be finished before moonrise. So by nightfall, the ruler is officially on the throne. Then there's the evening coronation; it'll start right at moonrise. It's usually up to the discretion of the leadership council or the ruler to choose the time."
"I requested for the morning coronation," Yue said. "I feel like it'll be easier."
"Is there a reason why you wanted the coronation to be before the solstice?" Piandao asked. "We heard the solstice was the initial choice."
"I want to spend my birthday in peace," Yue simply said. "Instead of running around and worrying about obligations and duties. Once I'm officially installed on the throne, I will be able to work at a slightly more comfortable pace instead of cramming all duties and paperwork together."
"You have worked very hard, we heard," the swordmaster said, "But now that the coronation date is finalized, you can relax until then. It will still be a hassle to prepare, but this kind of preparation is just a matter of selecting the perfect wardrobe, getting your leadership portraits made, and similar things."
"Are you going to remain masked?" Jeong Jeong asked, and Sokka, who hadn't even considered that possibility, widened his eyes. He had gotten so accustomed to the princess's practice of hiding her face from the world. It gave him a sense of security since no one knew what she looked like for anyone to identify her. Not to mention the many friendships Yue had formed with many people as a result of hiding her face over the years — the maids, the angakkuit, the servants and laypersons. As a matter of fact, even now, he was expecting her to say yes as the reveal of her face would cause her relationships with her friends and acquaintances to never be the same again.
Instead, she surprised him with, "No."
"What?" he blinked.
"Akluviq said there will be an official announcement made to the public sometime in the next few days," she told him before facing the sentries, "I will reveal my face then and publicly announce my name."
"But…what about…?"
"I cannot hide from my own people forever," Yue said, Sokka's concern not going unnoticed, "They might not know all the details about me, but after coming this far along, they at least deserve to match a name with a face."
"If that's your decision, then you should opt for heightened security at all costs, Princess," the senior Air monk told her. "The dragon-beetle gets its protection from its predators by blending into the grass."
"He's right. You are very noticeable, Princess," the swordsmaster said. "In a crowd of tribefolk of dark hair and dark skin, you stand out as a replica of the Moon Spirit with your white hair and light skin. It is an asset for you because tribefolk will favor you out of religious sentiment, but the burden is that you won't be able to blend in."
"I'm aware," Yue acquiesced, "And I am willing to meet all demands for security measures."
"I'll talk to Katara right now," Aang said. "She's been waiting for the chance to introduce her best students to you."
"I would love to meet them."
"We would like to meet them as well before we leave," Jeong Jeong said. "We would also like for them to present their abilities so we, too, will have an idea of who we're working with. Serving as the princess's security personnel is a very crucial position."
"How about we have a chance to see their abilities sometime later this week?" Piandao asked.
The princess's acceptance brought beams to their faces, but her quiet compliance did not fail to strike more suspicion from the sentries' end and increased worry from Sokka and Aang's end. Nevertheless, Aang figured the princess needed a moment to gather herself together, the strain in her voice becoming more obvious. He led the sentries out, granting the princess a moment to breathe.
"Are you sure you want to do a face reveal?" Sokka asked her, switching to Nagaran. "You know how that's gonna change a lot of things."
"It will," she said, "But it's necessary. I don't want to hide even after the coronation."
"You know the maids aren't gonna let you keep that job once they know you were the princess all along."
"I know. They'll also start acting differently around me. Not just them but everyone I've ever known. But they have to know at some point. It's either now or never."
"They might be shocked, but that doesn't mean it changes your friendships with them entirely. Everyone's aware that your identity had to have been a secret for you to make these changes happen. If anything, they'll be really understanding."
"Well whether they understand or not, life must go on," she shrugged, "And if I want information, I can still wear disguises. I just need to be more careful."
"You know, you can always have trusted people blend in with the public and report to you," he said. "I know you never prefer people to 'risk it,' and you always hesitate to go through with undercover investigations until I step in, but the fact of the matter is that before, it was only us in this struggle. We have more trusted people now. Everything will be alright."
"Trusted people," she mused before letting out an embittered sigh. If the truth had been out, these people would've looked at me like I'm a plague."
Softening his eyes and voice, "I told you before that a large chunk of them are insane idiots. Insanity is an illness, and they're the ones suffering from it. Pity them, if you will. But they love you, Yue. This is the truth." His hands settled on her shoulders, "Don't stress yourself out over this, okay? Like the sentries said, all you need to do now is relax. I told Ivaneq to sort out and assign different responsibilities to different people. You need to take an actual break this time. Spend some time with your parents."
She didn't slip out of her composure this time but still whispered in a moment of vulnerability, "I can't even look them in the eye…"
Warmth enveloped her in the form of his arms, a persistent tone seeking to calm the race in her pulse, "Everything's gonna be okay. Nothing has changed. Trust me."
"And he called us the saps."
The tribesmen chuckled as they huddled around the fire, some of them holding their young children in their laps.
"Well I'm glad he's joining our canoe," Isuq grinned, "Though I wish I was a polar-fly in the room while he was trying to woo her. I wonder how our boy did it."
"I can't imagine Sokka being truly romantic. He's too spastic and anxious. Such a goofball."
"Oh you'd be surprised," a visiting Northern tribesman chuckled. "The things he does. Once, I was going to the other side of the ship to speak to the lieutenant about something. I passed the princess's bunker; she was reading some scrolls on top of the deck, and in the meantime, our isumataq was there. He was busy setting up the scene, if you know what I mean."
"Setting up the scene?" Masahn blinked, wide-eyed.
"Alright, let's tread carefully," Panuq covered his baby daughter's ears.
"Eh, it's not bad," the Northerner laughed. "I saw candles and flowers on the table. He had on cologne, so much of it. I could smell it from a mile away."
"Woah, is this our Sokka?" Isuq wondered.
"That's what I thought. And then he had this excited look on his face. I thought they were actually doing it that night, if ya know what I mean."
"And they're not even married!" Masahn squeaked.
"Well, if they genuinely love each other and have plans to be together, then I suppose it's not too bad," Panuq shrugged.
"Old Man Pakku would not agree to that, though. He's all about rule enforcement."
"Again, it's not what I thought it would be," the Northerner assured. "Turns out that was just a foot massage session. He brought in the bucket of hot water after that, and it took my filthy-ass brain some time to figure it out."
"Aw, that's sweet," Masahn smiled.
"A foot massage? Ohhh," Isuq gave a wicked little grin. "That's the starting point to all kinds of things, hehehe—"
"Ahem," Panuq raised his eyebrows, his hands still covering his daughter's ears.
"Oh come on, Panuq, she's a baby. And she's sleeping." Turning back to the Northerner, "I can't help but confirm if you saw the right Sokka. In another world, he'd do these things, probably, but the Sokka we know hasn't shown any signs of being capable of such things…"
"Prince Sokka has a soft, nurturing side to him. When that's tapped into, you see him become this version of himself that's not so obvious. He's so sarcastic and abrasive at times…he's good with a crowd, too, of course…but around the princess, oh boy, he's different. He keeps her as relaxed as possible. It's several little things: foot rubs, back rubs—"
"Back rubs?"
"And flowers. Lots of flowers. I've yet to see him break his tradition of giving her flowers every single morning. Even when we were traveling, he'd stash a whole collection of flowers and give her a couple at a time until we halted somewhere, and then he'd buy more and hide 'em in his room. He's keeping diaries, too, apparently."
"Diaries?"
"Guess we don't know him as much as he thought."
"Our Sokka keeping diaries?" Isuq laughed, "What will become of the world?"
"In his efforts to make the princess feel relaxed as possible, he's ventured into that quasi-romantic-but-not-really-quasi territory. Apparently that's what seemed to have won our princess over."
"Our ladies do like it when we wait on them," Masahn chuckled. "Goes a long way."
"Well it's not just being waited on. Her Highness hasn't been around her parents much. Her mother was killed when she was young, and her father quite literally hid her from the world to protect her. The circumstances had been of such a nature."
"Damn," Isuq shook his head, "Down here it's financial hardship, and up there it's violence."
"Yeah, it was pretty bad a couple of decades ago. They were killing girl babies left and right."
"Spirits have mercy," Panuq shuddered, holding his daughter close to him.
"But man, she came into the light with a bang, and look at her now," the Northerner said with great pride, "All set for coronation!"
"We're really happy for the sister tribe," Masahn smiled. "I just wish those two would hurry up and get married and have a baby already. Then they can take the throne here, too."
"Hopefully he will confess his feelings and propose before then," Panuq said.
"Hopefully, but it's not easy. Especially with her beauty. We hear from the other Northerners that there's talk of her great beauty."
"Yeah," the Northerner nodded, "A lot of us haven't seen her, but we've heard by word of mouth. she's as beautiful as Tui."
"No wonder he fell for her."
"The only thing I don't understand is why Chief Hakoda and the family aren't saying anything," Panuq wondered.
"Old man Pakku's being a pushover as always, that's what," Isuq frowned. "Sokka's La, and the princess is Tui. Even Shaman Chunta's been going around and saying this. Plus, the two of them love and respect and understand each other. It can't get more perfect than this."
"If you ask me, Pakku's not gonna do jack shit for them," Masahn said. "Those two are better off showing up married and with a baby in their arms."
Little did the group know that the old former chief they were talking about had kept his ear on them as he walked the distance behind them, staying out of sight…though his dark scowl certainly wasn't hidden.
The next few days went by with care and caution. Akluviq, who already received a bad reputation for suggesting consummation when the princess happened to fall sick, did not dare to mention the possibility of a consummation night, fearing Arnook's wrath. The awkwardness of Sokka and Yue having to share a room was also nonexistent given Yue, who was consistently with the prince during the day, was constantly with her parents following sunset, especially her mother. She slept in their room, and Ahnah stayed with her during the night. Katara and Aang sometimes stopped by to keep either the chieftess or the princess or both of them company, and in moments of privacy, the Avatar and the Southern princess would often console Yue regarding the truth that slipped out.
Arnook and Sokka, meanwhile, took the rooms next door, but often they ended up staying late at night, talking about various things. Arnook, who had expected the couple to share a room, was dismayed that they were not being as close as he thought. Sokka's blurbs every now and then that tried to convince the chief that abstinence had been necessary did not go well, resulting in the isumataq naming their time together as "nagging nights with Chief Arnook."
"And here I thought you two were being careful," Arnook said to the prince with immense disappointment, "You two haven't even…?"
"Silak, there are bigger things to worry about—"
"But a consummation is very necessary!"
"Yes, we've had this exact conversation with a lot of people," Sokka resisted his sarcastic urges. "Chief, we'll get there when we're ready. There's too many other thing to worry about. These kinds of deadlines are worthless. So please, don't make this a big deal."
When a letter from the South came addressed to Sokka for the first time in six months, Ivaneq jumped with relief and joy before racing all the way to the prince with the scroll of interest. Sokka, however, maintained a suspicious attitude regarding any and all correspondence from the South, especially one that was addressed to him.
"Her Highness will be very relieved to hear you still have contact with—"
"Hold your yakhorses," Sokka said, unfurling the scroll.
Miqqiri's daughter, Qariah, reached marrying age last week. She will make a fine wife for you. Her father does not mind the age gap but is expecting a grandchild within a year. We have several fertility potions handy, so that should not be an issue. Also, the healers say that so far, they don't find anything abnormal about the girl's health. She should be ready to carry a baby to full term. Once the baby is born, you will be crowned Chieftain.
I hear your precious princess is being coronated soon. Once she sits on the throne, it will be over for the North. Ideally I should disown you; you're seeking the downfall of the sister tribe by promoting the enthronement of a creature so undeserving. Such blasphemy is a blow to tribal tradition and ethics. But for your parents' sake, I'm willing to give you one last chance.
As soon as the ceremony is over with, quit pity-fucking the Akna and get your heretical ass on a ship to the South. We'll make arrangements for your wedding as soon as we're told of your departure, and we'll have bucketfuls of holy water ready to dump on your bloated ego. You will tie the knot with Qariah, and that is final.
If you want to stay any longer, or if you refuse Qariah's hand in marriage, consider yourself cut from the bloodline. I will declare Kohana as the rightful heir to the throne.
Pakku.
"What does it say, sir?" Ivaneq asked hopefully only to cower back as Sokka shot up from his pelts in a fit of rage and thrust the scroll into a torch-bearing sconce.
"Prince Sokka, what are you doing—?!"
"Listen," he huffed, "You're not gonna say anything about this to anyone. I didn't get anything from the South, got it?"
"But Brother Sokka—"
"He wants to marry me off to a child so I can have a child with that child, that old-ass fucking piece of yakshit! Timmiri sega ninmunnra diqah!"
Ivaneq fumbled to retrieve the scroll and managed to put out a few of the flames, reading what he could and extracting a majority of the information. He widened his eyes, his jaw dropping as Sokka grabbed the scroll from him and again thrust it into the fire, watching it completely burn this time as he went ahead with his curses in Nagaran.
"This is all your fault," the prince hissed at Ivaneq, "You should've kept your mouth shut instead of blabbering about her past to them!"
"Brother Sokka, I'm sorry, I…it was a moment of weakness—"
"If she finds out about this letter, it'll be over. She'll send me away from here. She's already looking to do that…" Sokka took a seat, trying to calm himself, wolfing down the cup of water that Ivaneq provided him. "I'm sorry, Brother Ivaneq…Please, just please keep this between us."
"I understand your pain, Prince Sokka, but they're saying they're gonna cut you out of the—"
"I'm not stepping into Pakku's hellhole even after all this…"
And although he tried to calm down, he found that his blood was still boiling. "You know what, fuck this," and he pulled out a blank scroll, grabbing a quill and scribbling a note in his rage.
"When this thing dries," he slammed the quills and inks aside, "send it to the South immediately."
"You need to stay calm, Prince Sokka, please! This isn't good for—!"
"You will keep this between us, and if you don't…you will have crushed all my hopes for happiness…" And with that, the prince stormed his way out.
Ivaneq frowned, nervously glancing at the message that was written on the scroll:
Six months ago on a full moon night during our first week in the North, I married Princess Yue. Osha was our priestess. We had been waiting to inform you about it at some point, but I realize that it's either now or never. I most certainly am not abandoning my wife over idiotic superstitions.
Kohana will make a fine chief as long as he doesn't turn out like you.
In order to tend to more important matters, such as extended security for the princess, Sokka, Katara, and Aang arranged a banquet for the White Lotus, which would serve primarily as a point of introduction for Katara's top waterbending students. Following a performance that comprehensively outlined the abilities of the said students, the White Lotus sentries were won over by both Katara's teaching prowess as well as the prodigies that were in line to make a difference as the first female security personnel. It was a moment of pride for the North, and the women's smiling faces were eager, demonstrating loyalty to the dronningi who made it happen.
Yue and Sokka were genuinely happy to meet them as well, but Sokka's excitement was quick to dwindle; while ten of the women respected and had no intention to interfere with his position as the princess's bodyguard — and in the future, her primary bodyguard…at least, according to what Sokka expected— the remaining eight women or so repeatedly referred to him as a temporary security arrangement, fully intending to replace him. And as he realized this, anxiety flowed through his veins in the place of blood.
Maybe they're confused. Maybe they didn't get the message. Or maybe it was the high they were experiencing after being recognized as the first-ever all-female group of security personnel for the soon-to-be-chieftess.
"We understand you are a good friend of the princess, and you would only want the best for her when you leave," one of the women said. "We will do our best to be your worthy successors."
"Of course!" chimed in another. "We need to receive your approval before we can even think about taking up this responsibility after you!"
The well-meaning isumataq had done his best to clarify at first, laughing it off nervously, "Well it definitely is a lot of responsibility being on the lookout for two leaders instead of one. I mean, I never did say I was leaving."
"You're hilarious, honorable isumataq," another woman chuckled, "Why would you waste your time here when you have a whole tribe waiting for you?" And although it was left unsaid, the moral of that story was basically, You can't stay here forever.
Sokka soon became hyperaware of the additional little jabs they gave him, which were not really jabs considering the context, i.e., the fact that with the exception of select Revivalists, everyone else wasn't aware that the prince and the princess were married. And not to mention for a significant number of people, the drama with Hakoda's rejection of the princess as his daughter-in-law crushed all future hopes and hypotheses of an alliance. At least, that was the case for these prodigies, who had learned considerably about the palace and the princess alongside their waterbending training. To make matters even more frustrating, some of the women were of the opinion that Sokka was an opportunist, shutting down optimistic remarks with whispers behind his back.
"He's only here because she's sending aid to the South. He's trying to milk as much of her assets as he can. Our sisters don't see that; they speak of love and other yakshit."
Sokka held in his fury and discontent, letting this moment in history play out, not wanting to cause a scene over what was probably nothing, especially given the state of mind Yue was currently in. The burden she was facing now as she tried to digest the truth of her past far outweighed his fears of separation. He spent the rest of that event conversing with those who were more optimistic about his extended stay, seeking to surround himself with positivity.
But perhaps the biggest jab to his self-respect came after Imona walked through the door, announcing her arrival with her signature glare at the male guards.
"There she comes," Arnook noted with a slight degree of annoyance, "My daughter's ever-suspicious friend."
Imona broke into a wide, relieved grin when she saw the dronningi, racing to bring the princess in for a hug while nodding in acknowledgment at the isumataq. Yue, too, was happy to see her, prompting Arnook and Ahnah to begrudgingly allow the women to catch up.
"When did you get here?" Yue asked. "Is Brother Junguk here?"
"No, he's with the kids, but I came as soon as I heard what happened."
"How many people is Ivaneq spreading the word to?" Sokka frowned.
"I told Ivaneq to keep me updated before I left last time," the ex-Revivalist explained, turning back to Yue, "You're okay, right? Did they arrest that son of a bitch—?"
"Yes, and yes, but please don't be so loud. My parents are here, and they don't know about the imposter."
They migrated to a more confidential setting. Yue, having noted Sokka's discomfort at the banquet, pulled him along for the conversation, and before long, the trio was settled in a circle atop fur pelts.
"I hear the consummation will now be happening at some point before the solstice," she remarked, turning to Sokka, "Since you two have gotten this far, any intentions of spilling the truth to your folks?"
"Yes, that is a priority," Yue nodded.
"Kuunnguaq, you're becoming the chieftess. You know what that means. The tribe will be looking forward to our next little prince or princess. That's why Akluviq kept picking your brains apart." Crossing her arms, "And honestly, Kuunnguaq, I think it's time. You've always said you wanted children, didn't you?"
She swallowed, freezing in place, her eyes glazed over with uncertainty.
"Why the face?" Imona pressed.
Yue shook her head, "No reason."
"We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," Sokka interjected, squeezing Yue's hand.
"Well this is kind of a very important topic, and you two can't keep running from it forever," Imona frowned, turning back to Yue, "Kuunnguqq, if you don't start looking into being a mom, Akluviq and Kheera are not gonna handle it well. They said it themselves; they made very narrow exceptions because the tribe was in a shitty spot before. But now, thanks to the Spirits, things are looking up. You need a baby if you want to keep the throne." She eyed the prince, "So what's the deal? You're gonna put a baby in her sometime soon or…?"
"Imona!" they exclaimed simultaneously, their faces as crimson as Fire Nation flags.
"What? Sokka needs to have a baby before he can be chief of the South anyway. You can strike both glaciers with one water whip this way. And the thing about grandkids is that any bigot will come down to his knees when he sees his continued bloodline. Sokka might as well get to work and show up with you and the baby at his doorstep. His parents won't refuse."
"This isn't about positions and approvals," Yue frowned, "Children should be conceived with love, not for necessity."
"Well you have plenty of that love, don't you?"
"Are you crazy? Sokka and I aren't…"
Imona shot a look at Sokka, "You haven't told her yet?"
And he gawked back, wide-eyed, "Uh…"
"Leave the poor guy alone," Yue furrowed her eyebrows, "He needs to go back home at some point. And we can't just take huge steps like that without approval…"
Imona frowned, "Don't tell me you're planning on annulment or something—"
"No, no, nothing like that," Yue said. "I'm just saying that Sokka has to go home first…so he has the time and opportunity to convince—"
"Well even if he goes home, he's gotta take you. You're both lawfully wedded to each other."
"He doesn't have to take me. Why would he? I have lots to do here."
"But you gotta meet the family at some point…" Imona sighed, exasperated, "I don't understand. Are you really planning on annulling this?"
"Why do you keep bringing that up, Sister Imona?" Sokka glared at the ground, fighting back the moist glaze in his eyes, "Seriously."
Clearly noting his distress, "Fine, but I still don't understand what the point is. She wants you to go home to talk to your folks, and she's saying you shouldn't do anything without your parents' approval. Does that mean you two are going to stay celibate until his parents agree—?"
"Yes, yes, that's exactly what the plan is," Yue went ahead with the logic.
"And what if they never agree? They're bigots after all. How long are you going to wait?"
"We obviously can't wait forever," Yue said sharply, "Practically speaking. That's why we have to do what we have to do…"
"And what does that mean?" Imona raised her eyebrows, "Annulment?"
"Please stop saying that," Sokka huffed, directing his glare elsewhere, his additional discomfort noted by an equally disconcerted Yue.
"This is ridiculous," Imona shook her head, "This is exactly why you gotta let him knock you up—"
"Imona, oh my Spirits!"
"Why are you two so flustered? Any yakshit that comes out of his parents' mouths won't be of any use if they find out there's a baby on the way. It's classic Water Tribe psychology!"
"Imona, that would wreck his life, do you not understand?" Yue's voice rose several octaves as did her pulse, her outburst tugging at Sokka painfully.
"Why would it wreck his life?" Imona looked back at Sokka, "What's going on? Don't you want a baby—?"
"His parents might not have the same belief systems as we do, but I respect them enough to not go through with anything without their approval."
"Well they're not gonna give you their approval after all the shit they caused," Imona shot back.
"I'm aware of that," Yue persisted.
"So you really are thinking about annu…" she didn't finish, noting the scowl on Sokka's face. "You know, instead of glaring at me, you could say something," she snapped at the prince.
"There's nothing he can do if his parents don't agree. Maybe it's for the best that this ends here…"
"The fuck, you're still not gonna say anything?" Imona nearly yelled, glaring at a miserable Sokka.
"Stop bullying him," Yue croaked, turning away, "Sokka and I are good friends. That's all we are, and that's all we can be. And annulment is not a card on the table yet. I don't even think it's necessary if it's not known to the public."
"So you really are gonna just let him go?"
Sokka felt his chest twisting uncomfortably, but his lips quivered, unable to move, unable to blurt out the feelings that have been consuming him, drowning him since he first met the princess. This was just not the time. The dronningi was going through something and was weighing considerable burdens and—
"Sokka will marry a nice Southern woman approved by his parents," Yue said, bending away threatening tears, "He will have a child with her and will become the chief of the South, and I will stay here and look after the North—"
"We can talk about all of this later," Sokka said, "Let's all just relax and focus on the coronation. We'll talk about other plans afterward—"
"If you're that worried about getting him back home, then fine," Imona disregarded the prince's suggestion, "We can do this the underground way. All you need to do is be open to carrying his seed."
"Imona—!"
"It doesn't have to have any strings attached," Imona pressed. "It's just insemination. One way or another."
"Imona, we're not talking about this—"
"We don't have to talk about this further, but you gotta have an answer to give to Akluviq because I swear to the Spirits, he's going to stand in front of you and ask you your entire Spirit-damn plan for starting a family. You can't escape this forever."
And the princess couldn't answer, knowing she was right.
"Sokka is your lawful husband, and you need to have a child by him whether you stay with him or not. You can be naturally inseminated, or if you don't want the sex, we can have a bender bend the isumataq's essence into you. As soon as you get pregnant, he can leave. Since you're saying annulment isn't necessary for a marriage that no one knows about, then forget that, he can just check out. The baby is yours to keep, obviously."
"WHAT?"
Crossing her arms, casting a look at a dumbfounded Sokka despite still addressing the princess, "Your friend here can relinquish all parental rights and won't have to see your face ever again. The tribe won't know any specifics anyway. Just say you annulled the marriage with your secret husband but that you're keeping the kid. That way, you can be the mom you always wanted to be, and your friend can go home to the comfort of the South and settle down with whoever he wants without his parents disapproving—"
"Are you crazy? I'm not abandoning my wife and my baby like that!" Sokka let his frustrations spill forth, catching the princess by surprise.
"Oh?" Imona raised her eyebrows, "Well she won't be your wife by then. You just have to knock her up and leave. No one's expecting anything more from you. Shouldn't be that hard for your kind to run from responsibility. You're in it for only the sex anyhow."
"Imona, hold your tongue! I won't tolerate another word against Sokka!"
But the princess's words were not enough to calm the inferno that was the ex-Revivalist, her eyes narrowed as she glared at the prince, "And let's face it, you're blue-balled from waiting and waiting and waiting, and my friend here is like fire, you can't even touch her. So you want to get the fuck out of here. But this will be a neat little arrangement for you. You'll be compensated for your contributions, rest assured."
By then, Sokka had heard enough. "I'm being very patient right now, Sister Imona, you have no idea. I know you've been through hell and back, and I held my tongue because I felt horrible for what happened to you, but I'll have you know that I'm NOT the kind of man that you seem to think I am," he managed to keep his voice even as his eyes, filled with moisture, refuse to meet anyone. "Just 'cause there are a lot of idiots out in the world doesn't mean I'm one if them, and this is the truth whether you care to believe it or not. Though there's one thing I don't understand at all…" Glaring, "When I first got here, you went on multiple tangents about how men do nothing but sleep around and leave, and now, you're telling me to be that kind of guy? It makes no damn sense whatsoever!"
"Sokka," Yue softened her eyes and approached him, her hand on his shoulder as he brushed at his eyes.
"You wanna know why I put off relationships and kids the entire time the South was starving? Even with my family showing me literal hell each and every day?" he asked Imona. "'Cause I was afraid. I didn't want to see my wife and kids end up in the streets. And I don't have any fucking statistics to show people but I can guarantee you that Tui knows, and Tui watches everything that goes on."
Following his outburst, he left the room as swiftly as he could, his heated anger manifesting as tears.
Soft hands pulled him out of his angry thoughts, cupping his face, and soft lips greeted his forehead. He rested his head against hers, grasping her hands.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered in Nagaran. "What she said was unacceptable. Every bit of it. And I want you to know that none of that is true."
"You didn't do anything. Don't apologize."
"I'm not apologizing for her. She crossed several lines that an apology won't be fixing anytime soon." Sighing, "I'm apologizing because I should've left you at the banquet. I made a mistake."
"You didn't know this would happen." Shrugging, "It's not any better off at the banquet anyway."
"What happened?"
"Nothing much. I'll get over it."
He allowed himself to melt into her arms, laying his head against her shoulder. Her fingers threaded through his wolf tail as her other hand smoothed up and down his back.
"Just because I'm going through something doesn't mean your feelings don't matter," she said. "Tell me what's on your mind."
He hesitated for a moment before asking in a small voice, "Am I being replaced?"
She frowned, "No, why would you be replaced?"
"Because you keep saying I have to leave at some point and…"
"Sokka, even if the Spirits themselves came down from the Spirit World, they'd never replace you."
He felt a leap in his chest, immediately surrounded by warmth. "But… why do they keep saying they'll take over after I leave and shit like that?"
"Who said that?"
"Katara's students."
Shaking her head, "No, that's not true."
He let out an exasperated huff, "I'm not saying they can't protect you. I'm not saying they're incapable, and I'm not opposed to this."
"I know…"
"I just thought they would be extra security."
"They are. They just didn't seem to get the message. But I'll be more than happy to clarify."
"No, no, that's not totally necessary." Tightening his hold around her, "I just needed to know…"
Their intertwined forms gently rocked. Her eyes fell to a close, and she pictured his drawings, among them the one that had filled her heart. Tiny figures in wolf tails and white braids…
"Don't listen to Imona. I can't believe she'd say that about you even after she saw everything you did for me last time." Frowning, "Over half of the things she's saying…she's only saying them because she's assuming I'll have children."
Blinking at her, "You don't want children? But I thought you did. I thought you wanted a whole bunch."
"I do…"
Frowning, "Then?"
"I've been rethinking my future, and I've decided that…maybe it's best if I don't have children."
"That's ridiculous!" he sat up. "Why would you think that?"
She swallowed, "I have too many fears. I haven't been able to think about anything else. And I have my reasons."
The first reason was connected to who she was. Though she didn't always know it, she is capable of passing down airbender blood.
"There are chances of me having an airbending child. Now I don't think that's a bad thing, and my love for that child will not be affected in any way, but I worry that the tribe is not going to take it well. And again, it's not what they'll think as much as it is how they'll act around my child. Questions about legitimacy, who the father is, people who discriminate on the sole basis that my child is an airbender in the Water Tribe and is therefore unfit for the throne…" Yue shook her head. "I'm not putting my child through that."
Her second reason was one she had even before she learned she was the Akna— a possibility that she clung to in the event that things did not work out.
"I'm the leader of the tribe. I have too many duties. I worry I don't have time…" And this went back to her need to be a very present, active parent instead of a neglectful one.
"If I'm going to be a parent, I'm going to give it my all. I can't do that if nearly all of my time is going towards maintaining the tribe's stability. By myself, I cannot be expected to be the perfect chieftess and the perfect mother."
Not to mention the fact that no one ever knew when or from where danger could strike.
"If I have a meeting or something, should I leave my child with strangers? Especially in an area where people are not completely satisfied with what I have to offer? In a time when there are people out there who know I'm the Akna and are trying to get rid of my bloodline altogether?" After all, if one couldn't guarantee societal acceptance for the Akna, could one guarantee acceptance for the Akna's posterity?
"I fear not being able to protect my family," Yue said. "I fear failing my family. I know how it feels to have absent parents…the consistent struggle of looking for substitutes to fill that void. And to be locked up out of the fear that you'll be killed…These things can really rattle someone's childhood." Pressing her lips tightly together, shaking her head, "I don't want that for my child."
He was in no position to argue that her fears were not legitimate. There were many of them, and having to trek through them alone was nothing short of hell. But wasn't this still going a bit far?
"Long story short, Akluviq wants an answer, and here it is: I plan on ruling the North until my twin siblings reach leadership age, and I will hand over the throne to them so they can continue the line. My parents will help them out on the way, obviously—"
"Wait, what?"
"I don't want to be involved further with politics than I absolutely have to. I plan to dissociate myself from the political sphere after a certain point; hopefully, the situation will be more peaceful then. I will move out of the palace, settle down in a small house somewhere in the North if Agna Qel'a becomes too burdensome, get a job somewhere— I have lots of work experience anyway. But getting to that point will take at least twenty years, and honestly, I doubt my biological time candle will still be flickering as strongly by then, so…adoption it is…"
"But sacrificing motherhood isn't the way to go about this. It's going too far! I know you enough to know you love children. You've always wanted your own."
"It's because I love children that I would rather not have them than have them and see them hurt in ways they shouldn't be…all because of who I happen to be…"
"You've let go of so much, Yue. From small joys to sleep and peace of mind. You shouldn't let this go, too."
"I'm not really sacrificing…not entirely, anyway. I have an entire tribe to look out for. I have the children at the orphanage…they even call me anaana." Trampling the lump in her throat, "I'm a mom, I am. Just not a traditional one in the strictest sense…"
"But who knows, you might be surprised at what's coming your way—"
"There are no surprises," she shook her head. "I have no expectations. Neither on people nor on circumstances." The people I aspire for are not mine…
"But think about it. What if you weren't alone in this? What if you had a companion on this journey?"
"A companion?"
"An ikkingut," he pressed. "Someone who'd want to spend their life with you? Someone who'd want to bring new life into this world with you? Someone who loves the North as much as you do, who's willing to juggle and split every responsibility with you? Do his part to protect you and your children?"
She only shook her head, turning away with tears in her eyes. "Having biological children means being intimate with someone. And as a matter of self-respect…I'm not sleeping with anyone I don't love. And with anyone who doesn't love me…"
"I wouldn't, either…" And another moment of unbearable tension later, he nudged her gently, "You never thought maybe I'd make a good ikkingut?"
You might think I was joking around every time I suggested we settle down in the North, but really I was trying to tell you how I felt. Yue made a poor attempt at laughing it off, her lips sore from her repeatedly biting them.
"Yue…be honest with me," he said in all seriousness, "If my parents didn't have a problem with us being together…do you think maybe…?" Palpitations rattled his chest as he managed with great difficulty, "Have you ever thought about… how things would be if we really were together? If no one knew…and if you agreed to a marriage…?"
She could notice his attempt at a confession from his tone, and it pained her. It was not a reality to be entertained; she was the Akna, and he was next in line for the Southern throne. Maybe they would've stood a chance against the world if she wasn't so condemned by his family…or maybe even if his family didn't know. But that was not the case. She shouldn't…
"I think we wouldn't have made it very far," she looked away. "We would've known the truth one day, and it would've been explosive. It would've torn the family apart."
"But what if they never knew?" Soft, expectant, "What if…?"
She faced him in the heat of the tension. He appeared to be searching her eyes, trying not to show his impatience as he fumbled to extract an answer.
"If I'm being honest…I wouldn't have minded being arranged to you…" she averted her gaze, "You're a good man, Sokka… And based just off of that, I really think we could've had something… something beautiful…"
He felt like his world stopped altogether. All this time, he had been terrified of rejection, and who was he kidding, he still was…but…
"You're a good man, Sokka…I really think we could've had something…"
"Akluviq is waiting for us. He'd wanted us to join him for dinner. We should probably be on our way…" she stood up, "But you don't have to come if you don't feel like putting up with his yakshit—"
But the lid he'd kept on his heart finally popped, his feelings bubbling over. His hand reached for her wrist before she could walk away, his eyes brimming with devotion. "You wanna know what I think? I think we have something beautiful right now, too."
She froze as he also stood up, a tear slipping from his cheek, landing on one of the bangles that surrounded her wrist— the bangles he had made for her a long while ago.
"Do you really not see it, Yue?" he croaked, his feelings bursting forth, his palms settling on her face, "I'm in love with you."