Marvellous Cain, owner of a marvelous pizza chain in the marvelous city of Fiveton, continued to try and calm down Muskedunder, a customer who was seemingly concerned with the poisoning of his pizza. The cashier, the cooks, and the janitor were all present, trying to come up with a solution to Muskedunder's problem. However, nothing seemed to satisfy him. Suddenly, Marvellous Cain heard the clanking of pots and pans in the kitchen, which took his attention away from Muskedunder's problem. He interrupted Muskedunder, "HOLD ON!" He looked at Lehrer, his finest chef, "I escorted everyone out of the kitchen, correct?" "I believe so." Lehrer responded. "Then what on earth is making all that NOISE!?"
Marvellous Cain began to march towards the kitchen, but was suddenly held back by Muskedunder, who showed obvious signs of sudden nervousness. "We ain't done here, guy! Don't trah runnin' off!" Marvellous Cain was confused as to why Muskedunder was so keen on him staying. Wouldn't he rather discuss things with the kitchen staff? Why'd he want every employee rounded up anyway? He sighed and pointed at the janitor, "Go check on the kitchen." The janitor went on his way, but Muskedunder jumped onto his back and yelled, "NO!" He pulled a hoola-hoop out of his pocket and proclaimed, "Ah want everyone raht here raht NOW! NO one can leave 'til this is sorted out. If yah leave, Ah'll have to resort to force!" He began to hoola-hoop furiously, "No one leaves 'til Ah say so!" The owner and staff looked at him with deadpan faces. "Okay." Marvellous Cain sighed.
Meanwhile, Frank was still in the kitchen, searching for some sort of key. The entire place had been torn apart, with pans scattered all over the place, cheese all over the floor, and sauce on the walls. Frank was ready to simply give up. He layed on the stained floor, looking up at the ceiling as if he were a fish out of water. He was convinced that the map he had was incorrect, and that there was no key in the kitchen. Just as he was ready to become "Failure-Frank", he spotted a shiny object in the corner of his eye. He got up and ran to this object. Lo and behold, the key he was searching for was hung onto a wall-mounted key hanger. He snatched it and ran towards the super-secret locked room, "Fail-Proof Frank strikes again!" he thought to himself.
He unlocked the secret door and slammed the door open, ready to take whatever treasure was inside. He expected to find objects such as pots of gold, secret formulas, and unicorns. But he was met with none of that. Instead, he witnessed a large, beefy man chopping up meat, right next to a massive tank full of some sort of clear liquid. "Eh? What's goin' on here!?" The man, who was wearing a traditional chef uniform, turned his head and faced Frank. "Who... are you?" Frank puffed out his chest and put his fists on his hips, "The name's Frank! Frank Fly, the leader of the Sharks! Wait, no- member of the Association!" The man ceased his meat-chopping, and took his butcher knife off of the cutting board. "What... are you doing here?" Frank scoffed, "C'mon, at least tell me your name as well!"
The man said, "My name... is Buggles. Forgive me, I haven't spoken to a human that wasn't a corpse or Cain in a while." Frank raised an eyebrow, "Whaddya mean corpse? What the hell's goin' on in this room anyway!? I came here expectin' a treasure!" "There's no treasure in this room. Unless you hold poison and human flesh in high regard. This is where I make our poison, as well as meat. Every tenth order, we'll poison a customer, follow them home, and kidnap them. They become grub the next day." Frank recoiled in disgust, "You're tellin' me you guys make human pizza!? I can't believe the poison thing's true- that's just some lie I told my friend to get the attention of the staff!"
Buggles sighed as he sharpened his butcher knife, "By the way, it's company policy for me to like, kill anyone who comes into this room. So, sorry in advance." Frank brandished his knives and said, "Well I've have you know, Fail-proof Frank can't be beaten!" Frank puffed his chest confidently, and to show how "fail-proof" he was, he ran out of the room in fear. Buggles scoffed, "Coward." He began to menacingly walk towards the kitchen, which Frank had retreated to. As Frank entered the kitchen, he frantically began to look for any sort of pizza. "C'mon, there's gotta be SOME in here!" he said to himself. Eventually, he spotted a mini pizza inside an oven marked "POISONED PIZZAS DO NOT EAT", and immediately took it out. The freshly cooked pizza burned his hand, and he had to put on a silly oven mitt to carry it. He began to think about how he should've realized the pizzas were poisoned a lot earlier.
Buggles barged into the kitchen and got ready to prepare his next meal. Frank hid himself inside a counter, where he waited for his chance to strike. He planned to force Buggles to eat the pizza poisoned at his own hand, and hopefully put him out permanently. Finding a good opportunity proved to be difficult, however. Buggles was twice as large as Frank, and probably thrice as strong. But suddenly, Buggles stopped to yawn, and Frank yelled, "Gotcha!" He jumped out of the counter and dunked the pizza into his mouth as if he were a professional basketball player, and his mouth was a hoop. "Have a taste of your own poison, freak!" Frank yelled, as he fell onto the shiny floor of the kitchen.
Buggles looked down at Frank, his eyes more menacing than ever. He didn't spit out the poisoned pizza. He did nothing to indicate he wanted the contaminated food out of his mouth. He stared Frank down, and began to chew and swallow the deadly pizza. Frank's jaw dropped, "W-WHAT!? That's poisoned ya know!" Buggles patted his stomach, "I'm immune to my own poison, Frank!" Frank began to scream as Buggles brandished his butcher knives, and he immediately got up and scrammed. He grabbed an empty pizza box on reflex, thinking he was grabbing his knife, and began to run without looking as to where it was he was retreating to. Frank ended up back running back into the once secret room. He hit his face on tank of poison and fell to the floor.
"Your life ends now, I'm afraid." Buggles said as he ominously walked into the room. Frank cowered in fear and clenched the pizza box, unsure what to do next. Running away was no choice, for Buggles was too large to evade. He considered simply running up and stabbing him, but that was guaranteed to fail. Giving up seemed to be the last remaining option. "If I die while fighting this dude, do I go to Valhalla? That'd be kinda sick..." Frank thought. He stood up got into a fighting stance, "I wonder if I can poke his eye-" his thought was interrupted as Buggles swung his knife at his face, though Frank was able to duck in time. Instead of hitting Frank, the butcher struck the poison-filled tank right behind him, creating a massive opening in the cheap plastic tank. Poison began to rapidly spill out, and Frank immediately hopped onto a nearby table out of fear.
The restaurant began to flood at an alarming rate, and the ocean of poison inside the establishment grew to be about 1.5 meters thick. The flood startled Muskedunder, who ceased his arguing. "What's that water doin' 'ere!? Wha's it everywhere?" Marvellous Cain squinted his eyes, "That's no water... that's- THAT'S OUR POISON!" The staff immediately ran out of the store, and locked the door on their way out, as to prevent a spill into the streets. Lehrer, the head chef yelled, "That stuff's terrible for your skin, by the way! Good luck boss!"
Cain, who was no longer marvelous, hopped onto a table, as the floor was swallowed by the poison. Muskedunder followed after, barely understanding what was going on. "Ah lahd about the pizza bein' poisoned... but it turns out... the place actually gots poison?" He turned to Cain, "What do you got poison for?" "L-Listen," Cain stuttered, "Animal meat can get expensive! Sometimes, h-human meat is the better alternative!" "Yah kiddin'? Human's way more expensive!" "Not when you're the producer!"
Meanwhile, Frank was still busy with Buggles. He was trapped, for he couldn't come down the table and enter the sea of poison. He was presented two options: he stays on the table and allows Buggles to strike him down, or he jumps and succumbs to the poison. They would both result in the birth of Failure Frank. But suddenly, a third option presented itself. Frank looked at the pizza box he had mistakenly took from the kitchen, and gained a bright idea. Buggles swung at him once more, and Frank managed to dodge by jumping up high into the air. He threw the pizza box at the ocean of poison and landed on it. Using his knife as a paddle, the box became a boat.
Frank propelled the boat as fast as he could, and Buggles continued to march after him. The two eventually reached the front room, where the tables and register were. Muskedunder's face lit up as he saw Frank enter the area, "FRANK! Didja rob everythin'!?" "Yup!" Frank replied, patting his back pocket, "I have it all right here!" "EXCUSE MEEE!?" yelled Cain. He turned to Buggles, his face red with fury, "WHAT HAPPENED!? WHY IS THERE POISON EVERYWHERE?! WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY!?" "Our next course!" replied Buggles.
Muskedunder hopped onto Frank's pizza box boat, and the two reached the door. "Why the hell can't this thing unlock from the inside?! yelled Frank. He began to stab and kick at the door as Muskedunder hoola hooped, and the two eventually managed to bust the thing open. Right as Buggles reached them both, the door opened up and everything in the restaurant spilled out. Windy, who was whistling whilst on his bike, suddenly heard the voices of Frank and Muskedunder. "WINDY!" Frank yelled, "I got everything! Now get us OUTTA HERE!"
To Be Continued