III
Jay burst through the door to the examination room a nurse at the front desk had directed him to. It had required a fierce death stare and him flashing his badge before the nurse agreed to reveal any information. As soon as he knew where he could find Hailey, Jay walked away without another word. Antonio had to stay behind and apologise for his rude behaviour.
His steps faltered the moment his feet crossed the threshold. Nothing could have prepared Jay for the sight that awaited him in the room. He came to a complete halt a few feet from the single bed that occupied the tiny space. When Nolan said that Hailey was in the hospital, a part of Jay comprehended that she had been hurt. In the car on the way to the hospital, his mind generated worst case scenarios the whole way. But nothing even came close.
The initial relief he felt upon arriving at the hospital went out the window. Left in its place was the sense of absolute dread. Hailey's eyes were closed as she rested in a sitting position on the raised bed. Her blonde hair lay in a tangled mess on her shoulders. Loose strands went in every direction. Dark bruises marred the skin of her face. A cut that had required stitches ran from her left temple and down the side of her face, to her cheekbone. Her left eye looked puffy, almost swollen.
Someone had used her as a punching bag, Jay thought and took a tentative step closer to the bed. At the second glance he realised that Hailey's face was not the only part of her body that was covered in bruises. The top of her arms displayed indications that someone had tried to restrain her. Red, angry scratches told him that she had fought her assailant every step of the way.
Worst of all though was the dark indentations in the shape of fingers that created a necklace around her throat. His knees buckled beneath him, but Jay managed to grab a hold of the bedframe and stay vertical. He felt sick. The harsh breath he released came out sounding like something between a wail and a hurl. His lungs contracted painfully. He had to actively remind himself to take in new air every few seconds and let out the old.
In that moment it became clear to Jay how close he had come to losing the person he loved. His greatest nightmare almost became to reality, and there had been nothing he could have done to prevent it from happening.
Antonio turned up in the doorway, but Jay payed him no mind. All he saw, all he heard, all he cared about there and then was Hailey. Jay pulled himself together and closed the remaining distance between them. He carefully perched himself on the edge of the bed and grabbed one of Hailey's hands that rested on her lap.
Immediately long eyelashes started to flutter and green got to met familiar ocean blue orbs that they loved to drown in. They simply gazed at each other in silence for a minute and let their eyes do all of the talking. Jay did his best to convey all of the love and relief he felt in that moment. How worried and sacred he had been. How much she meant to him. He needed her to know that in case he never got the chance to tell her again.
"Don't, I'm fine!"
Her words were harsh, but Jay could see them for what they were. There was a slight waver to her voice. It was so slight you wouldn't be able to detect it if you weren't familiar with it. Despite what she wanted others to believe, she wasn't fine. Whatever happened yesterday, whatever Hailey had been through over the past couple of months, had rattled her and left her feeling unsettled. Jay also knew that Hailey would never admit it. Not even to herself. Not until it all was over.
"You're fine, huh?" Jay grinned in disbelief. "Well, I'm not. I think I have aged ten years in the last half hour."
"Sorry about that!" the smirk on Hailey's face clearly said she wasn't sorry at all.
"Why didn't you call me?"
"I didn't see the need to wake you up. There was nothing you could do anyway."
"Hailey, you're in the hospital covered in bruises and God only knows what injuries you're currently hiding from me. If this was me, you would chew me out so bad!"
Jay grinned down at Hailey and squeezed her hand. To his great relief, he got a small smile in return. It was more of a twitch at the corner of her mouth, but it was a smile non the less. He wanted to do more than simply hold her hand, but Jay was afraid to hurt her. Her hand seemed like the part with the least number of injuries.
A light cough came from the doorway and both of them turned to look at Antonio who had made his presence known. Jay looked at his colleague who stared at Hailey and him in astonishment. He felt himself blush. This was as vulnerable he had ever shown himself in front of anyone on the team. Everyone in Intelligence were private people by nature. Even after over a year of working together, he had never been over to anyone's place, and no one had been to his either. They may talk about interests and what they got up to on the weekend, but anything deeper than that was rare and certainly never came from Jay. Yet here he was, his entire life and what was the most sacred to him exposed in the blink of an eye.
"Uhm, Hails, this is Antonio. He's the one who got me into Intelligence. Antonio meet Hailey Upton, one of the undercover officers in Booth's organisation."
"Nice to meet you!" Antonio said with a nod.
"You too."
"We've been brought in to help with the case." Jay said and tuned back to Hailey. "Nolan is back at our district, bringing the rest of the team up to speed."
"What are we waiting for then? Let's go!"
Hailey started to move around on the bed in an attempt to get up. She winched as she raised her upper body from the mattress. Jay immediately reached out to stop her.
"You're not going anywhere. Let us handle it." Hailey sent a glare his way that clearly dared him to prevent her from leaving the hospital. Antonio let out a loud laugh. The day could turn out to be quite interesting, he thought.
Hailey paced around the locker room Jay had taken her to earlier to clean up a bit and change into one of the spare shirts he kept in his locker. It felt like the walls were closing in on her. Someone had blocked all the doors and windows. She was trapped inside a room where all she could see was Garrett's pale face as he lay in the dirt where someone had discarded him like he was a piece of trash.
Less than forty-eight hours ago that same face had been smiling at her from across the room as Garrett teased her for being a worrywart. His grin had been so big it almost split his cheeks and his green eyes glittered merrily. Forty-eight hours ago, he told her not to worry. Now he was dead and lying in a cooler at the county morgue.
Everything pointed towards Booth finding out that Garrett was a cop. During the confrontation with Booth at the club his questions indicated that he suspected someone to be a rat. Not necessarily a cop but a rat nevertheless. Hailey had managed to throw the suspicions off of her. It seemed like Garrett had not been as lucky. When she tried to get in touch with him afterwards and he did not answer, Hailey thought he was laying low somewhere. But part of her knew it could end up this way.
On top of that, Jay's team had found evidence that they might have been sold out by another cop. They were trying find traces that could lead them back to a name, but Hailey already had a few of them in mind. The op had been top secret. Only a handful of people knew about it and knew enough to be able to blow their cover. Garrett was essentially murdered by someone they both knew and trusted.
Hailey felt like throwing up at the thought. Her breathing sped up and her pacing became more erratic as piece by piece fell into place inside her head. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to know any more about the tangled web they had uncovered. The more she knew, the greater the urge got to be sick.
Her vision became blurry. No matter how many times she blinked, it didn't clear up. In fact, it only became blurrier. Then a wet drop rolled down her cheek, followed by another and another. The tears kept on coming and they wouldn't stop.
"Hails?" came Jay's voice. A few seconds later, he turned up in the doorway.
Jay took one look at her and immediately hurried over to her side. He gathered her up in his arms and sat down on the closest bench in front of the lockers. Hailey clung onto him in desperation. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were so close. A few more weeks at the most and they would have been able to wrap up the case, and then she and Garrett would have been able to finally go home after almost a year. Now Garrett was dead, and she was chasing one of their colleagues for his murder. The day before yesterday, she was attacked and assaulted in the line of duty. One of the two was traumatic enough. Together it was unfathomable.
"Just breath, Hails." Jay spoke against her temple. "I've got you. You're okay!"
Hailey didn't know how much time passed as they sat there on the bench in the locker room. She stayed focused on Jay and his familiar, comforting scent. Eventually Hailey managed to slow her breathing enough to match his. But she didn't move to get up.
Her bruised ribs throbbed in pain from all of the rapid breaths and spasms the moment of panic caused. Jay helped hold up her weight and ease some the strains on her ribs. Plus, she was quite happy in Jay's embrace. She allowed herself another moment and drew as much comfort from his arms as she could. There was no one that gave hugs quite like Jay Halstead. She has never told him, but there is nothing she loves more than when he wraps her up tightly in his arms and shelters her from the world.
"We're going to get them, Hails. I promise. But right now, let me take you home. You're in pain and you need to rest. They will call us as soon as they find something and when that happens, I will take you back here. Please…"
"Fine." Hailey conceded.
She allowed Jay to help her get up from the bench and lead her out to his car parked out back. The first few minutes of the drive, Jay attempted to engage her in conversation, but she didn't have the strength to even muster up a simple reply. She just starred out the window and watched the lights of the city flash by. Jay got the message and stopped trying. Instead, he lay his hand on top of her thigh and left it there the rest of the ride.
They reached the apartment she hadn't seen in months. Jay took of his jacket and threw his keys on top of the kitchen counter. Hailey remained standing five feet from the front door in the middle of the living room. Everything looked exactly the same. Jay's old and worn, brown leather couch stood in front of the television set they bought when they first moved in two years ago. The bookshelves held the same assortment of family photos and knickknacks they had collected from special occasions for them both.
Hailey took a tentative step and then another towards the couch where she took a seat. Jay quickly joined her and handed her a tumbler with amber liquid. She didn't have to taste it to know it was their favourite whiskey. She gave Jay a small smile of appreciation at the gesture. It was their thing. Always had been. It was how they met.
Two years ago, Hailey walked into a random drinking den after a day at work and found Jay at bar, looking worse for wear. She recognised the look on his face far too well. It was one she had been known to wear after a day that took too long to end. So, she did what she did herself on those days and bought him a large whiskey and sat it down in front of him. They struck up a conversation where Hailey did most of the talking. They talked about anything but what was bothering him. When a lull happened in the conversation, they simply enjoyed the silence that wasn't the least bit uncomfortable. Jay's spirit lifted slightly, and he eventually started to open up. At the end of the night, they had exchanged phone numbers and knew that they would see each other again very soon.
Since that day it became their thing to share a glass of whiskey and have meaningless conversation. The other person's presence was all that was needed to make it a little bit easier to breathe. It was ten times more effective than the pushing and prodding everyone else did to get them to open up. It was strange, but it worked.
They drank the whiskey Jay brought in silence. When Hailey's glass was empty, she set it down on the coffee table. She curled up on the couch and lay her head down on Jay's lap. His hand immediately found it's way to her hair and ran his fingers through it tenderly. The gesture was enough for Hailey to let down her walls and let the tears fall again, but calmly this time.
"You liked him didn't you." Jay stated softly without any judgement.
"He was one of the best partners I have ever had."
Garrett's face as he laughed at one of his own lame jokes came the forefront of her mind, and the horrified one he got after he made the terrible mistake of taking her coffee during a stakeout. You grew close when you spent a year undercover, and Hailey was proud to call Garrett her friend.
"It's good to be home." Hailey whispered and closed her eyes.
.