Author's Note:

Enjoy the one-shot! It's mostly Corona Pax' masterpiece :P

Edit: Just a little edit to the note. Some people have informed me that they find some actions in this one-shot triggering. If you start to feel uncomfortable then you don't have to continue to read this chapter. The One-shots are not required reading for understanding the main story. Please keep in mind that if you have genuine complaints then comment and let me know. As long as it's polite and with good reasons, I will take it into account for future writing.

One-Shot 7

Big Brother is Bad

There are some very obvious downsides to dating Hedwig Fitzgerald. Her horrendous attempts at cooking were some, but Mike couldn't really talk. He wasn't hot shit at the stove either.

But most girls didn't have a group of fourteen people that could and would literally kill him if he breathed wrong in her direction. That was an exaggeration. Spring probably wouldn't kill him.

He would hate Mike and let him know how disappointed he was, which was arguably worse. Okay, so that made 13 people that would kill him. Lucky number...

He wasn't truly worried. He and Hedy liked each other, and it never would have seriously crossed his mind to do anything to hurt her. In fact, he'd be the first to punch the lights out of any asshole that tried. Kicking Michael's guts in, even if it was only half effective, sure felt great and like something he was supposed to do whether he and Hedy were together or not.

Hedy was great. She pretended to be stern and responsible because she was supposed to. Because her life had been hard and she needed to be hard back. But she couldn't shove away all that love for life that made her happy about the little things, and Mike respected her so much for it. She was funny. She was kind. She was the person who could so readily forgive and love the bots and have the relationship they had. She had to be kind and patient to be someone who could get through someone as prickly as Ruby. Things were not good so with the ghost children, but really he couldn't blame Hedy for being as angry as she was.

Still, it was good the teenager from the tapes was back.

Mike was a little ashamed to admit he probably wouldn't have been friends with Ruby if circumstances hadn't lined up like they had. He had been actively distancing himself from toxic people these last few years, and he was sad to say Ruby was someone who would have fallen in that category.

But he respected her. Maybe he feared her a little, but that was probably normal. Especially now that she knew he and Hedy were together. The vicious stares were kinda endearing in a weird way.

Hedy told him not to worry.

However, it was apparently traditional that someone give him the "shovel talk."

Since Hedy's dad wasn't around, Mike knew Jeremy was coming after him soon or later. He had mixed feelings. On one hand, he'd call Jeremy a friend now. On the other, he watched how Jeremy acted when Hedy was in danger and he didn't one-hundred percent trust Jeremy wouldn't switch from protective to overprotective in a heartbeat. HIs frantic brotherly mind was going to look at Mike and subconsciously see some after-image of Michael, and Mike wasn't sure it was safe to stick around if that happened.

Hedy told him not to worry.

What Hedy didn't tell him was that he was going to be jumped on his way back to his apartment with several heavy bags of groceries cutting off circulation to his fingers as he carried them.

HIs car was broke down, he didn't want Hedy to be worrying/ looking at it while she was so busy with the bots, and there was a convenience store in walking distance to his apartment so he thought we would be fine for a couple of weeks.

He was pulled into what could only be a van based on his shin hitting something metal and the smell of gasoline. It was dark so it didn't matter what he could have seen before a cloth sack was shoved over his head.

"Don't move," some voice he didn't recognize said.

"Fuck you," Mike said, shocked he didn't stammer. Better keep his mouth shut now, to avoid ruining whatever bravery was in his voice at that moment.

Someone didn't hit him (or kill him) for talking back. They just laughed.

Damn, where are my groceries…Mike mentally groaned, then paused and wondered if Freddy's had really numbed him to danger and self-preservation that much.

Don't talk. Don't talk. Don- "Look, if you're going to kill me or something, can you at least leave me in decent condition? I don't want to traumatize my girlfriend." More. "And let me write a note or something, you assholes."

"Damn, that's adorable," another voice cooed.

Mike was slightly surprised it was a woman's voice.

"Now, I almost feel guilty."

"...Is this...uh...Jeremy...doing something or am I actually in trouble here and you guys don't know a Jeremy?" Mike asked.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes. Both"

"Damn it, Francis," Jeremy's voice spoke up from the direction of the driver's seat. "I was trying to drag the suspense out."

"I mean….I kinda guesse-" Mike started.

"Shut up, Schmidt," Jeremy snapped, his demeanor giving the rest of the vehicle whiplash.

"Shutting up..."

The first man spoke again. "Damn, kid," he laughed. "What exactly did you do to piss Fitzgerald off so much? Last time he pulled something like this, some brat was picking on his little sister at school."

"...Uh...I'm dating his little sister…"

There was a deafening silence in the van and the only sound was the rumbling of the road underneath them. Mike desperately wished he could see whatever expressions they were shooting each other.

"Fitzgerald," the voice said sternly. "You're not actually going to kill this guy, are ya?"

"He better not," the woman cut in.

Jeremy didn't say anything.

The man sighed. "Good luck, kid."

Mike might have whimpered a tiny bit.

The woman huffed. "Jeremy."

"Amelia," Jeremy said dryly.

"How do you expect us to hide the body? We don't have nearly enough lye."

Whatever mercy Mike thought he might have gotten from this woman sucked up fast. He stiffened.

The whole group cracked up, laughing at his reaction. Geez, how many people did Jeremy rope into this? He counted at least three more voices.

"...So...uh...does Hedy know what y-"

"I'd shut up if I were you, Schmidt," Jeremy ground out.

"Yes, sir."

The drive was much longer than he felt comfortable with. Someone did hand him a bottle of water. He downed it, then immediately regretted it, worried about needing to use a bathroom if they traveled for much longer. The worries didn't last too long.

He must have fallen asleep. Or...shit, would Jeremy actually drug him?! Shit.

He needed to throw up, and there was a headache pounding through the drowsiness.

He was lying down. Something was touching him. It was dark. Mike tried to feel around in the cramped space, and steadily started panicking.

He was in a box. It was wooden and suspiciously shaped.

"Jeremy?!" Mike shouted. "H-hey!" He banged on the inside of the coffin. There was a little give in the lid.

Shit. Shit. Shit. His breathing was starting to tighten. Did Jeremy know he was claustrophobic? Probably not. "Jeremy! I got the message! Let me out! Please!" Mike brought his knees up as far as he could and pressed them against the lid. He used his arms and head, trying to get any amount of leverage. "Oh fuck, I'm going to die here. No. No, you're not. Shut up." He felt his throat get choked up. "Don't fucking cry."

And he thought the vents were bad. He kept pushing. There was a crack and he tasted open air.

Mike dramatically kicked the lid off and rolled out onto the sweet ground, pebbles and bits of asphalt dug into the skin of his palms.

He finally got his breathing under control and got himself standing up. He finally got a look at his surroundings. Or lack thereof.

"...fuck…" Mike muttered, looking out at land surrounding him. The road wasn't even paved and it was dark as inside the wooden coffin he woke up in. Except for the stars. The stars were nice. What time was it?!

His watch, which he could barely make out, read 3 am. Welp...late for work...

Hedy was probably worried, but after several drawn out minutes of checking his pockets, Mike came to the realization that Jeremy could be terrifying and a dick if he wanted to be.

His wallet, his car keys, and most importantly his phone were missing.

Mike had a list of curses as he slid back down into the ditch he crawled out of to search the coffin and try not to panic.

Risking splinters, he found something. Down near where his feet had been he found the sack his head had been shoved in and the stupid thing wasn't empty. There was a flashlight-his flashlight-which he turned on to see that there was also a map, a tape player with a tape inside, a compass and a large bottle of water.

How nice of Jeremy.

There was also a note.

Schmidt. I'm going to make this simple. Since I can't murder you without upsetting Hedy, this was the next best thing. Consider yourself symbolically murdered. You even got a coffin.

Since I can't just leave you on the side of the road because I'm a reasonable human being (and not Puppet or some other fucker), you get a bottle of water, a map, and a compass. I'm sure you can figure out the rest if you've got the brain cells, which I'm assuming you do since Hedy doesn't usually go for idiots. But nobody's perfect, even my little sister.

Whom you are dating.

Without telling me.

See you when you get back. If you get back. Also, I recorded something for you in case you get bored during your LONG walk back. By my calculations, you should be in town by sunrise, if you woke up when you were supposed to and if you're not a lazy shit who drags his feet. Get going. Also, there's a tracker on you somewhere. Don't look for it. It's expensive.

Mike folded up the letter and trained his flashlight on the map. "Who the fuck uses a map these days?!" he shouted down the road, hopefully in Jeremy's direction. He might have sounded a little frantic."You know what normal people use?! GPS!" Under his breath he muttered. "Fucking lucky I was a Scout…" He hadn't needed to read a map in years.

Ok, the mountain was on the map. That's good at least. If he could figure out which direction the mountain that could be seen from their town was, then he was set. But where was he?

What road was he on? Did he go East or West to head toward the mountain? He couldn't see anything in the dark. No landmarks. This road definitely wasn't the big highway so he probably couldn't hitchhike either, which he wasn't keen on doing anyway. He wasn't in the mood for more serial killers in his life. Spree killer. Or whatever the fuck Michael was…

A dumbass, that's what..

Mike picked a direction and started walking, muttering about Jeremy, careful about not damaging the map, and quietly reminding himself that he was pretty damn sure he was in love with Hedy and it wasn't all trauma bonding, which would arguably be a very unhealthy start to any relationship. He wondered if Jeremy was considering this a bonding experience even if Mike was alone.

Wait…

Mike fished the tape player out of his pocket. Apparently Jeremy wasn't willing to shell out for a proper mp3 player and went the dinosaur route.

"Ok jackass-"

Mike immediately paused the tape after that and sighed.

Jeremy sounded pissed…

"-Hello Hello. Sound familiar? When I was sixteen and started dating Amelia, Scott gave me a tape because that man was terrible at being serious or emotional face to face. Or really anything being a normal human."

Mike blinked. He wasn't expecting a reference to the Phone Guy.

"And he still was a better dad than Hedy and my real dad. Don't tell her that. She doesn't know. She's got mostly good memories of Dad and if you say anything otherwise, that's another thing I'll break your bones for."

Now Mike just felt sad.

"I'm going to make this very simple. You hurt my little sister in ANY way, I won't kill you. That's too easy. Plus Hedy is too much of a good person and even if you cheated on her, she'd forgive you. She'd never want to see you again, but she'd forgive you. And she wouldn't want you dead. That being said, I'll tattoo her full name and every way you hurt her on your forehead. Don't think I'm joking."

"I don't," Mike said, his face feeling a little itchy.

"With that out of the way, into the Rules."

"Fucking hell, Jeremy…"

"Rule 1. Already covered. You hurt her, I hurt you. There will be a line, but I get first pick.

Rule 2. You cheat on her, say goodbye to your manhood. Hope it's worth it."

Rule 3. I NEVER want to hear or know anything about you two sleeping together."

Mike flushed and he could have sworn he heard Jeremy make a weird pitiful noise that he quickly stifled.

"Ever. As far as I know, you're both perfect angels who aren't even going to sleep in the same bed until you're married."

Faintly, Mike heard a woman laugh and recognized the "Amelia" person speaking. He could barely make out her single word.

"Hypocrite."

"Shh!"

"Hy-po-crite."

"Amelia!"

"Oh please, you seriously think Hedy's stlll a vir-"

"Amelia, please!" shouted a distressed Jeremy.

Mike winced.

There was the sound of a scuffle as "Amelia" wrestled the recorder away from a complaining Jeremy.

"Hello sweetie! Don't worry about Jeremy too much. He likes you, although he's never going to be able to admit it. And he still will do those things if you hurt Hedy. And I'll help. But you sound like a good man and I'm not worried at all."

"Amelia!"

"Shush!"

The next couple hours passed in this fashion. Jeremy listed out rules and got sidetracked by his very amused wife when she would interject. Her additions were tips on how to woo Hedy interspacing the threats to bodily harm.

"You got to occasionally let her take you out on the date. It's not a gender equality thing but she is pretty serious about being even and fair in a relationship."

There would be a break, which Jeremy would fill with disco music for some reason. Did he need to torture Mike this much?

Probably.

It was early morning and still dark but Mike whooped the second he saw the light pollution of the city in the distance and the mountain blocking out stars behind it. Thank God he didn't need to backtrack three hours.

But he still had a long way to go and it was going to get hot when the sun rose.

"Jeremy, I fucking swear," Hedy seethed. "Where. Is. Mike?!"

"Who?" Jeremy said dryly, not looking up from the impound and junkyard reports he was going over and had brought that night.

Hedy had enough, even after giving herself an hour to cool down. She was worried now. She hadn't been worried about Jeremy hurting Mike but after almost all night without a call or text she wasn't so sure.

"Jeremy."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Hedy slammed her hand down on his files, making Spring jump and Mangle smirk.

Jeremy barely flinched and continued to read the report he was still holding while sipping his coffee.

Ruby was being suspiciously quiet as she watched the proceedings over the top edge of the school textbook she was obviously not really reading. It was upside down.

"Jeremy Reginald Fitzgerald, you have two choices," Hedy hissed. "Either you tell me where Mike is, and you better not have hurt him; or I'm going to have a little chat with your wife."

Jeremy's eyes flicked upward and Hedy felt her stomach sink as he broke his aloof act to smirk.

"Please do, Hedwig. You're more likely to get a useful answer out of her."

"She helped you?! What on earth did you do?! Jeremy, this is ridiculous."

"You're overreacting."

"I'm not overreacting! Because I know exactly what kind of asshole you are!"

"Language," Freddy said automatically without even looking up from the newspaper Ruby had brought him, Puppet reading it over his shoulder.

"Well at least I told you when Amelia and I started dating," Jeremy retorted. Everyone blatantly stared as he stopped pretending to be calm. The pettiness in his voice was almost tangible.

Puppet resisted the urge to react in any (amused) way and kept reading the newspaper even if Freddy wasn't.

Hedy stared at her brother, dumbstruck. "Jeremy…" She reached out and snatched the collar of his shirt, surprising Jeremy with the grip as she shook him. "I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD when you and Amelia got together. It. Isn't. The. Same. Thing. AT ALL!"

"It kinda is," Ruby muttered to herself.

"Excuse me?" Hedy snapped, her head whipping around to glare at the teen.

Ruby lowered her book and frowned at Hedy. She actually looked hurt. The Originals all exchanged looks, well aware that Ruby was faking it. Mostly anyway. No one else could tell though. Everyone fell for this act; hook, line and sinker.

"Not telling any of us means you don't trust us. I get why you didn't tell Jeremy. He's… overprotective. But you didn't tell the Mangle or Spring or me! You kept it a secret and… can you blame us for being upset Hedy?"

Just because the Originals knew what Ruby was doing, didn't mean they were immune and Bonnie and Foxy practically tripped over each other as they rushed to comfort the upset teen.

Jeremy didn't buy it for a second. Derrick had been far too good an actor for it not to have passed onto his daughter…

But Hedy hadn't had the privilege of being messed with nearly enough to build up immunity to the lies and guilting eyes. Ruby snagged her so easily…

Jeremy resisted the urge to laugh as his sister fell for it. He knew Ruby couldn't get a ton past Hedy but that had always been when Ruby wasn't truly trying to mess with her.

"Ruby, I had a very good reason! If it wasn't going to work out between us, I didn't want you guys turning on Mike if we broke up."

Mangle opened her mouth, not sure whether she was about to argue or agree. But Ruby beat her to it.

"So you didn't trust that we wouldn't?! We can be rational Hedy. If you broke up, then you broke up. It happens. It's not like it's the end of the world. But not telling us makes it seem like it was something you wanted to hide. Or… just didn't want to share with us."

Hedy didn't know what to say for a moment, distracted from strangling Jeremy.

Foxy actually felt a little bad for her. Hedy looked so ashamed, even if she was trying to hide it.

Chica was two seconds away from comforting Hedy instead of Ruby and making the teen drop the act.

The Toys were quiet, not sure what to do. Even Mangle wasn't sure what to do. Hedy and Ruby didn't have serious "arguments," or whatever this was, often; and the few times they had it had been really bad.

The thing with Ruby was that when she was actually trying to manipulate someone, she was damn good at it. She didn't overdo it. There weren't tears or a hitching in her voice. She fiddled with her sleeves a little, kept her eyes just slightly averted and her lips pulled down in a hint of an unhappy frown.

"It was a shock," Ruby admitted. "I mean, I'd basically just met him the other day. But I am happy for you Hedy. You are happy with him right?" There was just the right amount of earnestness to her tone that the Toys were melting.

Puppet was actually a little shocked at how masterful it all was.

"Yes." Hedy's answer was careful, sure, and without hesitation and for the first time that night Jeremy had his turn to feel guilty. Hedy hadn't been that sure before. When asked similar questions about past exes, she had always laughed it off with an excuse that they didn't know each other well enough, or that they needed more time. Didn't mean she didn't love them, but there was a different tone this time.

"Well, I guess that's all that matters then," Ruby sighed, just enough melancholy in her tone under the relief to keep that guilt floating around but still let it fade enough that it wouldn't eat away at Hedy. "He better take care of you," she huffed.

The Originals were not fooled and they caught both Puppet's and Goldy's eyes. Ruby held onto a grudge. And she didn't like secrets. But she wasn't going to direct that anger at Hedy.

Oh no.

It was all getting directed at Mike.

They really did feel sorry for him. But, well…

No one was stupid enough to get in Ruby's way right now. Not when she so clearly had everyone else wrapped around her little finger.

As Ruby hugged Hedy, she grinned over the mechanic's shoulder at Jeremy. Even the cop was a little wary about the look in her eyes.

A teenager shouldn't be able to look that gleefully malicious.

Hedy was calling Mike for the two-hundredth time with no answer when she managed to shove her front door open. She hadn't gotten an answer out of Jeremy-or Ruby, but she wasn't too sure the teen was involved anymore.

At least her worries about Ruby's reaction to Mike were abated some so really she only had to worry about Jeremy and maybe a couple of the bots being idiots.

She went to her living room, dumping her work bag over the back of the couch so that she could clean up and reorganize it before putting it in her workshop and heading to bed.

"OW!"

"Mike?!" Hedy quickly looked around the couch to find her boyfriend (heh) groaning as he tiredly pushed the heavy bag off his chest. It could have broken his nose if it landed on his face. "Where were you? Are you okay? What happened?"

Mike sat up and leaned his head back. He blinked as he looked at her. "Hedy? What are you doing in my apartment?"

"Your apar-Mike! This is my house!" She came to his side to look him over.

"Oh…sorry," Mike said sheepishly.

"What happened?" Hedy checked him over as he tried to wave her away, more worried than bothered that he was covered in dirt and getting it all over her couch.

"Um…" Mike made a face. "Well...Jeremy and I had a nice…long...talk? I think?"

"You think?! Stay here, I'm getting you some water."

"What? I can-" Mike tried to get up but Hedy shoved him down by the shoulder.

"Stay!"

"...Yes, dear," Mike said with a goofy smile.

Hedy just gave him an exasperated look but she cracked a little grin and leaned forward to kiss his dusty check before heading to the kitchen, muttering about Jeremy being an ass.

She called from the kitchen. "Next time you pass out on my couch, try taking a shower first."

"I don't smell too bad!...Do I?"

"Eh…" Hedy paused. "Oh...apparently Jeremy got some groceries for me. That was nice of him, I guess. Almonds? I'm allergic to almonds. Why would he get almonds?"

Mike just groaned again. "I think those are mine…"

Maybe Jeremy wasn't a total jerk.

Nah...